C H I L L E D
by Prin Pardus
Summary: The first chill of leafbare is the most deadly; it is this chill that kills more than any other. The first betrayal is the most damaging; it is the act that shatters bonds of trust and kinship, crushing even the strongest heart, tearing Clans apart.
1. P r o l o g u e

**AN: Wow, I didn't write anything for like a whole day. I know, I'm surprised to. But I couldn't stay away for long, so I started working on the 15th. And here it is our marvelous prologue.**

**For new readers, this is a _sequel _to another story of mine, Shattered. In order to understand this story at all, you'll need to go read it. Yes, it's long and intimidating, but don't worry, we'll wait for you.**

**Back already? Great! Now, there will be some differences between this and Shattered. This story takes place approximately five moons after Shattered ended. Obviously some positions and stuff have changed, but that's not what's really important. What is important is that this story will only have two POVs. Only two? Not sixteen, like Shattered (which, incidentally, is my favorite square root, but that's purely coincidence). Yes, only two, because I need a transition from the POV-filled Shattered to a more normal style of writing. Also, we've got two fronts to watch, so two POVs will be perfect.**

**Originally, I was going to try to write in 1st person as well as present tense, but after I finished the Prologue and part of Chapter 1 (FFN was down so I couldn't upload the Proglogue, so I just started working on the next chapter) I realized that 1st person felt totally ick, and I didn't want to confuse anyone. So I went back and edited everything to be the same way that Shattered was told; I actually have an idea for a story suited to 1st person, so we'll get to that eventually.**

**Anyway, sorry for the long note. To the Prologue~**

**P _r o l o g u e_**

_Silverstar smiled, her blue eyes warm as she looked over her Clan. Her Clan looked back up at her, their eyes bright, glowing in the dying light of the sun. Her silver fur seemed to gleam in the dim sunlight; it was thick, well-groomed. The entire Clan showed signs of having prospered during newleaf._

_Away from the crowd, off to one side, a small kit crouched by the nursery. Her yellow eyes were wide and bright as she blinked up at her leader, framed in a soft gray face. Her gaze darted from cat to cat, but not a single one looked back at her, almost as if they could not see her. Her tail flicked from side to side, but still no one seemed to notice. It was as if she was invisible, or simply nonexistant. _

"_AshClan," Silverstar said softly; her voice was gentle and warm, almost caressing, as she looked down at her Clan. Her love for them was obvious; this was AshClan, her AshClan, the Clan that she helped to create out of nothing, with the help of her friends. The gray kit that was sitting alone glanced over the Clan again, before looking up at Silverstar; her eyes were faintly clouded as she stared up at the bright leader. Foreboding glimmered in her yellow gaze._

"_Chillpaw, come up here please," Silverstar meowed. The Clan glanced at one another, murmuring quietly, before parting to allow a tom to pad through them. His white fur gleamed coolly in the dying light._

White tonight, _the kit thought. _Funny...ever since I started having this dream, it seems like he's white more than any other color...of course, the pelt color does change...I don't know what he really looked like when this all happened. I can't remember, it was too long ago, I was too young. But those eyes of his, so cold, frosty blue...those never change.

_The tom stood underneath the BranchPile, his face turned up slightly to stare up at his leader. He stood close, almost too close; his paws touched the bottom of the pile itself, but he was so small that it was hard for the others to notice. He was thin, lanky; his ribs almost seemed to show despite the richness of newleaf, but wiry muscles rippled underneath his fur. _

"_I, Silverstar, leader of AshClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. He has shown remarkable bravery, in addition to training hard to learn your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn." She paused for a moment, warm pride glowing in her eyes as she blinked down upon the tom; he was her apprentice, although his father had been a dark cat. She had accepted him into the Clan because he was also her kin, as well as young Shimmerpaw's kin. Silverstar was a kind cat; she was not able to turn others away as easily as another leader might. She believed in second chances. Her entire philosophy was based on both that and her belief in StarClan._

_The little gray kit, unnoticed and unseen, knew that both of her beliefs would be shattered tonight, perhaps beyond repair._

"_Chillpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code, and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"_

_The gray kit mouthed the words along with the silver leader; she knew them by heart. She had visited this place, this scene, too many times in her dreams for it to be otherwise. She had been dreaming of this since she was two and a half moons old, after this scene had taken place, even though most of what she knew of it had been told to her by her parents. She did not dream of it every night, or even every other night, but often enough that she knew exactly what each cat said, and exactly what each cat would do next._

_The Clan was silent, waiting for Chillpaw's answer. His cold eyes bored into his paws as he stared at them; he almost seemed indecisive, torn between two choces. The gray kit swallowed, her yellow gaze locked on to him._

Please, _she prayed. _Please, just say 'I do'. Change this dream. Allow it to end differently.

"_No," Chillpaw whispered, almost as if he had heard her thoughts. Surprise rippled through the Clan, and Silverstar blinked, but she is too slow to react to this surprising turn of events. Before anyone can move, Chillpaw sprang into the air towards Silverstar. He knocked her off of the BranchPile, and for a moment she disappeared from sight. The gray kit strained, but as always, she is unable to see Chillpaw sink his fangs into Silverstar's throat. A screech of pain over the clearing, as the Clan sprang forward almost as one. _

_Eaglestrike reached the BranchPile first, dragging Chillpaw away from his leader. The white tom's fangs were stained with blood, but he was forgotten by the deputy as he rushes to his leader's side. Another cat, Stormshadow, pinned Chillpaw down instead before he can make his escape. _

_The gray kit could not see Silverstar, but from the distress rippling through the Clan, it is obvious that their leader was fatally struck. The gray kit rasped her tongue over her muzzle anxiously. Even witnissing this dream before, perhaps a hundred times, there was nothing that she could have done to help. This time, as with every time, Silverstar lost a life._

_Chillpaw spits into Stormshadow's face defiantly; his blue eyes gleamed in the dying light of the sun, glowing with triumph. He succeeded in his mission. The gray kit's ears flattened as the white apprentice began to laugh; a long, slow, loud laughter that seemed to tear at her young ears. Stormshadow let out an enraged snarl, and with brutality born of life as a rogue, he sank his fangs into Chillpaw's throat. Chillpaw let out a gurgling rasp, and the gray kit flattened her ears again to blot out the noise, but she could not keep it out entirely. She trembled, feeling like a leaf buffeted by the wind as the Clan's cries of outrage and horror battered her ears. She saw Shimmerpaw tear out of the medicine den, her blue eyes glowing with panic as she glanced from her fallen brother to her leader; the pain in them haunted the gray kit even when she was awake. She closed her eyes, trying to squeeze the images seared into her brain out of her head, still trembling weakly._

_The dream slowly began to fade around her, the story complete. She didn't open her eyes, not until the sounds faded entirely._

Every time, it is always the same thing, _she thought. _Every time, there's nothing that I can do...what am I supposed to do? What does this all mean? Normal kits don't get these dreams...I'm not even six moons old yet, this sort of thing isn't supposed to happen to me...This is stuff meant for warriors, not hopeless, stupid kits...

_She swallowed, feeling her body continuing to shake. But she did not wake, as she normally would. She was not greeted by the sounds and scents of home. She was still asleep, floating, dreaming._

_Slowly, she opened her eyes, blinking, feeling confused. She had never dreamed past the scent of Silverstar's lost life before._

_She was in a strange place, a place covered by mist; it was as if nothing truly existed. There were no scents for her nose to find, no sounds for her ears to pick up; she felt nothing against her fur, despite the appearance of the mist. Feeling confused, she flattened her ears against her heart, her golden eyes wide as she glanced around her, wondering what was going on._

_Then, she turned, as she heard a strange voice on the breeze. She could not make out the words._

"_Hello?" she whimpered, her voice choked by fear. "Hello? Who's out there? Who are you?"_

_Slowly, blue eyes appeared in front of her, too far away to see the face they belonged to, but close enough to see their cold, icy glow. The cat spoke again, his voice sounding like the crackle of frost, his blue eyes seeming to glitter in what she thought might be white fur. _

"_Help me."_

**AN: Oh dear, I bet that threw you for a loop to know that Chilly's already dead! And poor Soot is plagued by crazy dreams. What a horrible thing to dream about, don't you think?**

**Next chapter will be our other POV, so get ready for him. He's a real sweetie, honest.**


	2. C h a p t e r 1

**AN: Wow, you guys work fast! So many reviews in such a short amount of time...thanks!**

**You guys already guessed that our other POV isn't so nice? Was it the little 'honest' tagged on at the end? I knew I shouldn't have used that, hmm. I'll do better next time to fool you. Honest.**

**C _h a p t e r _1**

He yawned slowly, feeling the sunlight streaming in through the nursery entrance warming his dark fur. He rolled onto his side, stretching out his long legs. Slowly, he opened his eyes, staring at his gangly limbs, before he wrinkled his nose at them. He rolled back onto his stomach, then stretched, trying to see if he had developed any muscles in his sleep. He had not, and this displeased him; he wrinkled his nose, before glancing to his side, towards his sleeping sister. Her dappled flanks rose and fell steadily, and he let out the quietest growl; she was practically twice his size, partially because he was small, and partially because she was simply large. She would be a powerful warrior, their father said often with pride.

_Whereas I'm just a runt, a skinny little thing, _he thought bitterly. _I look just like Mom. A she-cat! I want to be big and strong, not just a scrap of fur! _His dark tail flicked angrily. _And I will be big and strong, no matter what. Even if I have to train forever!_

He felt a blaze of irritation as his sister stirred; her breathing was slightly irregular now, and she was obviously awake, but her eyes didn't open. Squinting at her, he saw that she was mumbling something to herself. He let out a growl, realizing she was completing her stupid morning ritual.

_Every morning, this same old mousedung, _he thought angrily. _Everyday, the same stuff. She wants to be small and black and thin and feminine...like me. And she wants to have that stupid moon crescent marking on her chest or her face or wherever she's moved it to today...that whole character of hers is stupid. She's not Moonkit, and she never will be. And she's not going to be Moonstar either!_

He jabbed her with one paw, and she blinked her yellow eyes at her.

"So," he said snidely, "are you pretty today? Or did it fail again, as always? Your face definitely looks the same."

She glanced down at her paws, and her ears flattened as she saw they were as large and clumsy as ever. She craned her neck, glancing over her back, seeing her gray fur splashed with darker gray, and let out a quiet sigh.

"Oh, look, you're not Moonkit today. What a surprise," he said sarcastically. "And, guess what? Tomorrow, you still won't be Moonkit! You'll still be Sootkit, with big paws and gray fur and yellow eyes. And the day after that-"

He broke off as she flinched, looking away from him, staring instead at her paws. Sadness glimmered in her eyes, and he felt a prickle of unease, knowing he had gone to far.

_It isn't fair, though, _he thought. _I'd give anything to be big like her!_

_And she'd give anything to look like you, _a voice in the back of his mind said quietly. He scowled, then rose to his paws, moving closer to her, pressing his pelt against hers.

"Sorry, Sootkit, that was mean of me," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to snap at you."

"I'm not always Moonkit, you know," she said quietly. "Sometimes she's just my best friend...because, you know..."

"No other kits to play with, I know," he said, glancing around the nursery; it was empty, almost painfully so. Ravenwing was the only queen in AshClan. During leaf-bare, there had been a lot of kits; Firekit and Black-kit had been named apprentices when he and Sootkit were only one moon old. Blizzardkit had left to become an apprentice when they were about three and a half moons; Jaykit had left soon after that, followed by Robinkit half a moon later, and then Bluekit and Redkit had left exactly a moon ago.

"Sorry," he said again, more quietly this time. "Did you sleep okay?"

She gave him a small, almost hopeless little shrug, and his ears lowered slightly. He was the only other cat in the whole Clan that knew of her dreams. He was the only one she'd dared to trust; she hadn't wanted to worry either of their parents, and as kits they didn't know many of their Clanmates very well. He suspected that she was even keeping most of the dream from him; all he knew was that she had nightmares, the same one every time, every few nights. Nightmares based off of a real scene, from AshClan's past.

It wasn't hard to guess the scene; only one thing, besides the battle with Lion, had truly scarred the Clan. Chillpaw's betrayal and death was still whispered about, from cat to cat, especially since Silverstar had never picked her duties back up. That had been nearly three moons ago; now she was mostly in her den or the medicine den. Eaglestrike had taken over most of her duties.

"Yeah, I slept okay," she mumbled at her paws.

He rolled his eyes. "Liar. You can't lie to me. I'm too good at knowing." Sootkit didn't smile. He batted her ear playfully. "When I'm a warrior, they'll name me Spiderliarhunter, because I'm so good at it."

That made her giggle, and he smiled, nudging her with his shoulder. "Come on. Dad's assigning patrols soon; that will cheer you up, right?"

Sootkit heaved herself to her paws while he rose smoothly, and the two of them trotted to the entrance of the nursery, poking their heads out curiously. Sure enough, Eaglestrike was heading for the BranchPile. Spiderkit smiled, watching his father climb the pile of sticks, before glancing at Sootkit; it always cheered her up to see her father playing the part of the noble deputy, directing the Clan.

"The dawn patrol has already gone," he said quietly. "Thistlethorn, I want you to lead the sunhigh patrol. Take Firepaw and Reedrush with you, and Blackpaw as well. I'll lead the dusk patrol, with Blizzardpaw and Petalcloud, with Birchpool as well. Stormshadow, you will go on a hunting patrol here in a few minutes. Take Jaypaw and Redpaw with you."

The assembled cats nodded, and Eaglestrike flicked his tail, dismissing them. Spiderkit smiled at Sootkit, but although a small smile curled her muzzle, her yellow eyes still looked faintly worried.

He nudged her with his shoulder. "What's the matter, grumpy-paws?" he asked. "Surely the dreams weren't so bad?"

"They were just...different," she said quietly. "Different...and bad. They're always bad, but this time it was...I don't know. Weird."

Spiderkit cocked his head to one side, watching her. "Are you going to tell me about them today?"

She shook her head, and he nipped her shoulder. "Then you can't complain! Come on, let's do something. What do you want to do? Go around camp? We could ask Ravenwing if she'll let us go into the forest today? We're nearly six moons old, we're big enough."

Sootkit rolled her eyes at him. "You know she won't let us."

He sighed. "Yeah. I know." He scuffled his paw in the dirt, trying to think of some game to play. "I don't know!" he complained, flopping on the ground and rolling onto his side, blinking up at her with wide green eyes. "We always seem to do the same old stuff."

"Moonkit says we could see if the elder will tell us a story," Sootkit suggested. Spiderkit frowned at her.

"Well, Moonkit doesn't exist, so I'm not taking her suggestions," he growled. Sootkit looked hurt for a moment, and he sighed. "Besides, he won't tell us any stories. He's more of a grumpy-paws than you are...and scary, too." He shivered.

Ravenwing had told them about Jaggedclaw, about how he had once been a noble warrior for the Clan, but he had been hurt by a Twoleg monster. It had cost him an ear and an eye, and given him a lopsided gait; he had been forced to retire early, as an elder for the Clan. The only cat he ever seemed to talk to was Reedrush, which was fine with the kits; his pelt was scored with scars, and his voice was so deep and growly that he was quite terrifying.

"Do you have a better idea?" Sootkit asked, frowning at him. He rolled onto his back, his paws tucked against his chest as he thought.

"There's nothing to do in camp," he said finally. "It's all boring, boring, boring. We need to find something new to do."

"But we've done everything that we can do in camp," Sootkit said slowly. Spiderkit rolled onto his side again to face her, green eyes glittering.

"Exactly," he purred, then sprang to his paws. "Come on. We're going out of camp, whether Mother likes it or not!"

Sootkit looked uncertain. "Are you sure that's a good idea? What if a Twoleg monster gets us too?"

He rolled his eyes. "They're only on the Thunderpath, we won't be going near there...and don't you want to see the territory? GreenRocks? The Black Stream? The Moss Clearing?"

"The Pool of Stars," Sootkit said softly. Spiderkit flicked his tail.

"Sure, the pool, whatever. Don't you want to see all that?"

"Yeah, but..." Sootkit trailed off uncertainly. Then, she gave him a small nod, and a spark seemed to come into her yellow eyes. "Okay, Spiderkit. Let's do it."

He smiled at her, before glancing towards Ravenwing; she was fast asleep. Keeping up with her two kits was exhausting for the poor black queen. Spiderkit flicked his tail to Sootkit, motioning for her to be silent, as the two of them crept out of the nursery together. Spiderkit glanced around the camp quickly; Stormshadow and the other cats on his patrol were already gone, clearing out the camp slightly, and some of the others seemed to be off hunting as well. Eaglestrike was nowhere to be seen, but he was probably in Silverstar's den.

"Come on," Spiderkit whispered, as the two of them crept towards the camp entrance between two old logs, keeping to the edge of camp to stay out of sight.

Sootkit stopped just as Spiderkit's pelt began to prickle uncomfortably; together, they turned, and saw that Jaggedclaw's good eye was fixed upon them. His other eye was closed, to hide the wound that had blinded it.

Spiderkit swallowed nervous, but Jaggedclaw did not move; he simply stared at them with his one good eye. One half of his face was heavily scarred, the fur almost completely gone; a little flap of skin was all that remained of one ear. Spiderkit's stomach rolled uncomfortably, and he quickly turned, nosing Sootkit forwards. The two of them scrambled over one of the logs that barred the camp entrance, and slipped through the somewhat narrow hole between the two logs. And then, just like that, they were out of camp.

Spiderkit sucked in a deep breath, opening his mouth. He glanced at Sootkit with a grin, seeing that her yellow eyes were also glittering with excitement. He bounced on his paws, craning his neck upwards to watch the sunlight filter through the green leaves.

"Where should we go first?" he asked Sootkit. She glanced away from him, looking wistfully towards where they could hear the river rippling and splashing. He wrinkled his nose.

"Why would you want to go there?" he asked.

"I want to see the Pool of Stars," she said quietly. "Maybe StarClan can tell me why they send me those dreams."

Spiderkit blinked slowly, then nudged her. "Everyone knows they only talk to you at night, furball," he said. "And that's a long way away. Come on, I want to see the Training Clearing. It's supposed to be really soft and spongy! It'll be fun to play on, c'mon."

Sootkit looked uncertain, and he nudged her again. "Let's go, before the patrol gets back and catches us," he ordered, trotting off in the direction that he hoped led to the Moss Clearing; at any rate, they'd be away from the river, and therefore away from the mystical pool.

Sootkit trailed after him as he pushed his way through the forest, but it quickly became obvious that such a thing was harder than he'd anticipated. The forest seemed almost bent on keeping him away from the clearing, throwing fallen logs, brambles, and bushes in his way. The forest had clearly recovered from the fire so many moons ago, before either of the two kits had even been born.

Spiderkit let out a yelp, as he stepped on something sharp. He backed up, and Sootkit ran into him, sending him sprawling.

"Watch it, you stupid furball!" Spiderkit hissed, wincing with pain as he blinked at the sharp thorn jutting out of his paw. Sootkit peered at him.

"Sorry!" she exclaimed, her ears flat. "Are you okay? What's that, a thorn? I'll get it out!"

She reached for his paw, but he swatted her muzzle away with his back legs. "Leave it alone, stupid! You've got as much control over your big jaws as a badger! I'll get it myself." He studied his paw, which seemed to be oozing blood sluggishly around the thorn. Carefully, he wrapped his teeth around the sharp little barb, then ripped it out of his paw with a quick twist of his head. He let out another muffled yelp, and quickly stuffed his paw in his mouth, sucking on it.

Sootkit looked at him with concern, but when he glared at her she quickly looked away.

"Are we near the clearing yet?" she asked timidly. "Can we go to the river now? I can still hear it."

"No!" Spiderkit growled, fur bristling. "Just come on, okay!" He charged forward into the undergrowth, hearing Sootkit stumble after him.

They walked until the sun was high in the sky; brambles tore at Spiderkit's pelt furiously, but he refused to stop; he was determined to find the Moss Clearing. It wasn't so much that he cared about how soft the moss would feel; by now his paws were sore, maybe even bleeding from the thorn. It was more the principle of the thing; they'd been gone too long now to avoid trouble, and he wanted to at least accomplish what they had set out to do.

"Hey, Spiderkit?" Sootkit asked timidly as they pushed past yet another bush. "Spiderkit?"

"What?" he snapped, turning to glare at her. Her ears were flat against her head, her fur was ruffled and messy, and her large paws were coated with dirt.

"Um, I think we're going in circles," she said quietly. Spiderkit blinked, then glanced around; the forest _did _all look the same to his young eyes.

"Liar," he blustered. "We're going to the Moss Clearing. We're almost there, I can sense it!" He sniffed the air, but couldn't pick the forest scents apart. He glared at her for challenging his leadership.

"But see, right there? That's where you stepped on the thorn. Can't you still smell the blood?" Sootkit pointed with her white paw.

Spiderkit opened his mouth, and frowned; now that she mentioned it, he _did _scent blood.

Furiously, he clawed the leaves that dappled the sound. "I can't believe we wasted all this time!" he spat.

Sootkit cocked her head to one side. "Can we go to the pool now?" she asked. "I can hear the river still. We can just cross it and go to the waterfall, really easily."

"We have to find the Moss Clearing!" Spiderkit growled at her. Her tail flicked anxiously.

"Please, can't we just go to the pool? We can find the Moss Clearing later, can't we?" she begged.

"No! We're fighting it now!" Spiderkit meowed, his pelt fluffing up with anger; he was angry not just at her for suggesting they leave their mission, but also at himself for not knowing that they'd been wasting precious time. "Come on," he hissed, pushing forward into the brush once more.

This time, he didn't hear the crackle of Sootkit's heavy paws behind him. He paused, then turned, but Sootkit was gone.

_Furball, _he thought, green eyes narrowed. _She'll be back here in a moment. She can't go anywhere without me._

He waited, but Sootkit did not return after several minutes. He felt a prickle of worry run from his spine down to his paws, but he ignored it.

_She can get to the stupid pool by herself, _he thought, and turned away, heading towards the prickly brambles. _What do I care if she has to cross the river! I hope she falls in, that will show her!_

But in moments, he felt guilt prickle over his pelt, and he hesitated for another brief moment, looking over his dark shoulder, hoping that she had somehow popped up. He scuffed his paw against the soft forest soil, frowning, then sighed quietly.

"We had better get to the Moss Clearing tomorrow," he grumbled to himself, as he turned and headed back the way he had come.

He opened his mouth, tasting where his blood still stained the leaves. He could vaguely scent Sootkit as well, and it was her scent that he pursued now. She was heading for the river, of course, much to his displeasure; how did she think she was going to manage getting over the quickly-flowing water?

But as he set his green eyes on the churning white water, he realized that the river was more than even he had bargained for. The newleaf rains had been vigorous and long, and while they had restored the forest to its former beauty, they had also ensured that even in dry greenleaf, the river would flow furiously. His ears flattened, and he swallowed nervously, picturing Sootkit trying to cross.

_She's not that much of a mouse-brain, right? _He thought nervously, but he knew that how much she was willing to risk depending on how badly she needed her answers. And if she had been brave enough to leave him and strike out on her own, she might just be brave enough to try and get over the foaming water.

He broke into a run, his long, agile legs carrying him quickly along the bank. Mud stuck to his paws with every step, until his paws felt like stones. He stumbled, his muzzle hitting the sandy mud. He struggled to his feet, then blinked as he heard Sootkit's voice.

"Spiderkit!" she called, her voice tight with anxiety. Straining to rise to his paws, Spiderkit's eyes widened as he saw her perched on the very center of a long, thin branch that had been caught between two boulders, with ends resting on the opposite banks. She was trembled with fright, and he quickly rushed towards her.

"Sootkit!" he cried, and she stared at him with terrified eyes, her claws clinging to the branch. It creaked underneath her weight, straining to hold her; it looked like no more than a twig compared to the rushing water that almost brushed her gray paws.

"Sootkit, come back here right now!" he ordered. "It's too dangerous!"

"I'm scared!" she whimpered, moving so that she was lying down, still clinging to the branch with terror in her eyes. "Help, Spiderkit!"

"That branch isn't strong enough to hold you; I could have told you that!" he growled. "Come on, before it snaps!"

Her yellow eyes held his green pair, and he saw the fear gleaming in their golden depths.

"Sootkit," he said again, more gently. He reached out with one paw, touching the branch softly. "It's oka,y Sootkit, we'll get you down from there, alright? Just trust me. Come here, slowly."

Sootkit swallowed. "What if I fall?"

"You won't fall," he assured her, keeping his voice calm and soft, barely audible over the roar of the river. "I won't let you, okay?"

She continued to stare at him, before giving him the smallest nod. "Okay, Spiderkit. I'm coming."

Slowly, she moved forward, paw over paw, her claws digging deep grooves into the branch as she scooted along. She kept her eyes on him the entire time, and he made sure not to look away, lest her courage desert her without his comforting green gaze. He wasn't sure if she was truly looking at his eyes, or if she was imagining Ravenwing's jade orbs in their place, but he didn't care; whatever made her get off of the dangerous branch more quickly was fine with him.

Then, the branch gave another ominous creak, and Sootkit froze, trembling again. Spiderkit opened his mouth to sooth her, but there was a sudden cracking sound, and then suddenly neither Sootkit nor the branch was there anymore.

Spiderkit whipped his head around, feeling horror rise up within him; for a moment, he couldn't see Sootkit at all, until her head bobbed up for a brief moment. She let out a choked wail, still clinging to half of the split branch, before the boulders hid her from view.

Spiderkit was frozen. Should he race back to camp, alert the others, try to find her farther downstream? She could be smashed against the rocks, or drown under the water...Should he try to save her himself? He wasn't fast enough to catch up her now, even with his long legs, and what if he drowned too? He was transfixed, terrified, as scared of this feeling of helplessness as he was of losing Sootkit, his only sister, his loyal follower.

Sootkit let out another wail, and Spiderkit was suddenly unfrozen, running forward before he knew what he was doing. His long, dark legs moved more quickly than ever before, and he saw her again, her head barely cresting the water. The branch had been torn away from her; there was nothing for her to hold onto now, nothing that could help her keep her head above water.

He sprang onto the nearest boulder, crouching to leap into the water after her, feeling panic welling up within him. But, another cat beat him to it; all he saw was a golden-brown streak, as another cat flew into the water, grabbing Sootkit's scruff. For a moment, they were both submerged, and Spiderkit watched with wide green eyes and an open mouth, waiting for them to reappear.

He saw the broad golden-brown head break the water farther downstream, and he was moving again, racing down to greet her. She pulled herself from the river's grasp, the water sliding easily from her coat as if her fur was made of fish scales. Sootkit swayed in her jaws, eyes closed. Without hesitation, the she-cat dropped the kit, then pressed one muddy-brown paw on the kit's chest. Spiderkit panted, struggling to catch his breath as Sootkit fought for hers; the she-cat pressed again, and water dribbled from Sootkit's mouth. For a moment more, the kit was limp, before she suddenly gave a loud cough, as more water forced itself from her body, dribbling from her mouth and nose as she rolled onto her stomach. Sootkit's savior watched with emotionless green eyes, looking no more interested than if she had been watching a bird fly, before looking to Spiderkit.

"Sootkit!" Spiderkit exclaimed, ignoring the golden-brown she-cat's gaze as he rushed to his sister's side, nuzzling her sopping-wet pelt. "Sootkit, are you okay?"

Sootkit smiled at him weakly, nuzzling him back; already the fear of her near-death experience had left her eyes. She was strong in that respect, unbreakable; she was terrified of danger, but once it had passed, there was nothing left to be scared of.

Spiderkit felt a rush of guilt. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, pressing his nose against her side. "I shouldn't have let you go off on your own...I should have been there to test the branch, you would have known then that it wasn't safe..." His ears flattened.

"It's okay, Spiderkit, it wasn't your fault," Sootkit said gently. She turned to blink up at her savior with wide yellow eyes. "Thank you!"

The she-cat gave her a small nod; her green eyes were still disinterested. She glanced over her shoulder, almost nervously, before frowning down at the two kits.

"What are you doing out here?" she growled. "Did you think you'd have fun, venturing away from your cozy camp? That turned out great, didn't it?" Her eyes narrowed.

Spiderkit glanced her over for the first time, his quick mind already analyzing her. Most of her coat was the same golden-brown color, with with darker, muddy-brown dapples. Her paws were the same mud color, as was the tail of her thick, fluffy tail. Her eyes were bright green, like new leaves, although she was staring at the two of them with dislike. She wasn't as old as he had first thought; she was only about a moon older than he was, at the very most, but her pelt rippled with muscles already underneath her thick fur. Normally he would have bristled at her tone, especially since she was not much older than he was at all, but gratitude for Sootkit's rescue was still rushing through him.

"We were looking for the Moss Clearing," he said stubbornly.

"But I wanted to visit-"

"The Peak," Spiderkit broke in, sending a glare in Sootkit's direction, warning her to be quiet. The last thing he wanted this stranger to know was that Sootkit wanted to talk to StarClan about her special dreams. With a thrill of fear, Spiderkit realized that this dappled she-cat could be a PeakClan apprentice.

"I see," the she-cat said slowly. She glanced over her shoulder again, but to Spiderkit's confusion she wasn't looking towards the Peak, where her Clanmates slept, but towards the forest just upstream. Her thick tail twitched, and then a small smile came to her face, as if something had worked out perfectly in her mind. "I'm taking the pair of you home," she said. "You'll get into more trouble out here, and I'm sure your leader will want to scold you."

Spiderkit bristled, but felt Sootkit's wet pelt beside him, and grudgingly admitted that perhaps they weren't quite ready for such vigorous exploration, at least not yet.

The she-cat rose to her paws, flicking her tail commandingly, before heading into the forest. Sootkit trotted after her, her near-drowning all but forgotten. Only Spiderkit trailed behind them, his pelt still prickling with guilt.

He didn't feel guilty about not coming with her to find the pool, not so much. He didn't even feel too guilty for not being there to help her test the branch for safety. What he really felt guilty for was telling her that he would help her, that she could get back across the branch to him without fear, for asking for her trust and then breaking it. His ears flattened, and he stared down at his paws as he walked.

_Next time, I'll save her, _he vowed. _I won't let anything happen to her again. She trusted me...I want her to always trust me. I want to deserve that trust._

**AN: Moonkit is Sootkit's imaginary friend. She's everything Sootkit wants to be; pretty, fast, elegant. In the mornings, Sootkit tries to make herself sort of become Moonkit; we will see that later.**

**Silverstar's pretty down in the dumps; it's more than just Chilly's betrayal, although that totally rocked her world, since her whole philosophy was lying on the back of "everyone deserves a second chance" and no cat (except Snake, but she didn't know that) had ever betrayed her trust before. **


	3. C h a p t e r 2

**AN: The mystery savior isn't in PeakClan, Spiderkit just guessed she was because he doesn't know what PeakClan smells like.**

**Moonkit is pretty Mary Sue-y, but that's to be expected from a dreamer like Soot. XD**

**C _h a p t e r _2**

Sootkit blinked up at her savior curiously; there was an odd smell coming from her pelt, like damp ferns and rainwater. It smelled faintly of Sootkit's own Clan, but she didn't recognize this cat at all.

_Where did she come from? _The dappled kit wondered. The golden-brown she-cat didn't spare her a glance, pushing through the brush with only determination on her face.

Sootkit's heart began beating rapidly as they neared camp; she was afraid of what her father would say, when he found her dripping wet and in the company of this stranger.

_Please don't let him be too angry, _she fretted, _we didn't really mean to get into trouble...Spiderkit just wanted to play, and I just waned to find out what these dreams really mean...although I guess I can't really tell him that, right? I don't want to worry him..._Her ears drooped slightly. _This dream stuff is something I've got to keep to myself. I can't tell anyone about what I dream of...everyone will fuss and be worried and...what if they think I'm crazy? Sometimes even I'm not sure that I'm not crazy...I mean, why would StarClan send me these dreams? We've already got a medicine cat and a future medicine cat...and I want to be a warrior anyway. I want to fight and hunt and be the best warrior ever! _Her eyes glittered at the idea.

The scents of camp rose in her nose, and she opened her mouth to catch them; she could smell fear and anxiety, and her heart sank again, knowing that the Clan was probably beside itself with worry for the two lost kits.

The golden-brown she-cat strode into camp without fear, flicking her thick tail and motioning the kits forward.

"Sootkit! Spiderkit!" Ravenwing exclaimed, rushing to their sides. She covered them both with vigorous licks, despite Spiderkit's loud protests, then paused, and blinked. "Why are you all wet?" She seemed to notice the golden-brown she-cat for the first time. "Who are you?"

The valient hero opened her mouth, but closed it again as Eaglestrike strode forward, his muscles rippling underneath his gray striped fur. His eyes were narrowed.

"What were you two doing?" he growled down at them. Sootkit's ears flattened, and her face burned with shame, but Spiderkit glared up at his father defiantly.

"We were just having fun," he growled. "We wanted to play."

"Having fun?" Eaglestrike demanded. Spiderkit quailed under his father's furious yellow gaze.

"It was fun...until I stepped on a thorn...and Sootkit fell into the river..." Spiderkit mumbled the last words, then braced himself for his father's anger.

"Fell...into the river?" Eaglestrike asked, astonishment mixing with anger.

"She saved us," Sootkit said quickly, pointing to the golden-brown she-cat with her white paw. "She pulled me out of the river. I would have drowned without her."

Eaglestrike's gaze flitted to the she-cat. "Is this true?"

She nodded. "It's true. That one was swept away-" she flicked her tail towards Sootkit, "and the other looked about read to jump in after her."

Eaglestrike swallowed; it was obvious that he was shaken to realize how closely he had come to losing his two kits.

"AshClan thanks you," he said finally, then frowned, giving the she-cat a sniff. "You're not of PeakClan," he said slowly. "You're...you're that rogue we've been smelling lately, skulking around our territory."

"Lucky I was, don't you think?" she asked calmly. The tip of Eaglestrike's tail twitched.

"For your help, we won't attack you," he said slowly, "but you cannot be allowed to remain on our territory. You have until sunset to leave; if we scent you again, we will chase you out."

"You didn't have any luck with that before," the she-cat smirked. "Actually, I wish to join your Clan."

Eaglestrike blinked with surprise. "Join AshClan? Are you sure?" His yellow eyes were narrowed with suspicion. "Do you understand what it takes, to become a warrior? The hours of training, the learning of the warrior code, the nobility and honor required...it's not the life for most rogues. Not that it is impossible, of course." He flicked his tail towards Petalcloud, who was watching curiously.

The golden she-cat raised her muzzle, a hint of pride glittering in her pretty green eyes. "I understand. I can take on any challenge."

"Taking on challenges won't make you a warrior," Eaglestrike said, still wary. "We haven't had the best experience with taking in rogues; how do we know we can trust you? How do we know you won't betray us?"

With a thrill of fear, Sootkit realized he was speaking of Chillpaw. Her ears flattened nervously; whenever the icy-eyed tom was mentioned, it felt as if all the hairs on her pelt were standing straight up.

"Eaglestrike?" Petalcloud's voice was soft, nervous. With a trace of surprise in his eyes, Eaglestrike glanced towards her; Sootkit knew that the gentle calico didn't speak often, but when she did her words were calm and considered. "When Stormshadow and I joined the Clan, we had already proved ourselves to Tremor many times, and we proved ourselves to Silverstar by fighting in the battle against Lion. Reedrush and Jaggeclaw have proved themselves many times over, showing their loyalty. Birchpool is loyal, even without memories of her past. Chillpaw was the only rogue in this Clan to ever betray anyone here. Please don't think bathe all rogues in his light." Her eyes were anxious, but sincere, as she blinked at her leader.

"This she-cat has proved herself once already," said another voice; Birchpool. The white she-cat's sky-blue eyes were wide, but her voice was slow, methodical, almost melodious. "She saved your kits, Eaglestrike. She risked her life for them, and she isn't even a member of this Clan. Imagine what she could do as a warrior."

Eaglestrike nodded slowly, and then turned back to the golden-brown she-cat. "If you can swear your loyalty to us, without any doubt, then you can join our Clan."

"Shouldn't you ask Silverstar about that?" a sharp voice asked. Sootkit twisted her head, to see a large tabby tom sitting in the entrance to Silverstar's den. He was Forestheart, she knew, Silverstar's mate; he was almost always with the silver leader, taking care of her.

Eaglestrike met Forestheart's gaze firmly. "Silverstar isn't feeling well, and I don't want to trouble her with this," he meowed. "I assure you, Forestheart, I will report to her." He turned his back on the brown tom, facing the dappled she-cat once more. "What is your name?"

A slight smile curled her muzzle, as if something amused her. "Leopard," she said. Sootkit smiled.

_A pretty name, _she thought happily, giving the older she-cat an admiring glance; she was well-built, but still quite pretty.

_I'll be like her, _Sootkit vowed. _I'll help my Clan, too._

"Welcome to our Clan, Leopard," Eaglestrike meowed, giving her a nod. "We'll hold your ceremony soon." He turned his attention to the kits, and, remembering that she was in trouble, Sootkit flattened her ears nervously.

"As for you two," he said slowly, "you will be punished. You should not have gone out of camp, especially not alone. I expected better of you; it was mouse-brained to even attempt to get over the river."

"We were tired of being in camp all the time! It's boring!" Spiderkit growled. "You weren't going to take us out, so we just did it ourselves. That's all. We're practically apprentices...Sootkit almost looks like a warrior!" He gave his sister a glance, but she only stared at him, surprised that he would speak to his father in such a harsh tone.

Eaglestrike's gaze was stern. "If you two want to be apprentices so soon...fine. You can both handle the apprenticeship duties from now on."

Sootkit's eyes widened, and Spiderkit looked livid.

"You two can be responsible for Jaggedclaw's bedding, and making sure that he has plenty of food," Eaglestrike continued. "The time that you don't spend looking after him, you will be closely watched to make sure this doesn't happen again. You are not to set foot out of camp, understand?" He looked at them both for recognition.

Spiderkit bristled, but it was obvious that arguing would only worsen the punishment. HE didn't nod, simply turning away from his father and stalking towards the nursery. Sootkit blinked up at her father, nodding quickly.

Eaglestrike flicked his tail, dismissing her, and she quickly hurried after her brother.

Ravenwing followed the two of them into the nursery; she grabbed Sootkit before she could get away, pressing her against her dark belly, rasping her tongue over her dappled fur. She rubbed it the wrong way, pushing the water of out her coat. Sootkit laid obediently still, her head resting on her broad paws as her mother's soothing motions comforted her.

"Apprentice duties," Spiderkit spat, sounding disgusted. "All for just going out of camp? Give me a break! If we could go and get the moss ourselves, that would be something, but..." He shook his head with disgust. "I don't want to tend that old fleabag."

Ravenwing's licking stopped. "Spiderkit," she said, her voice tight with disapproval. "That is not how we talk about our fellow Clanmates. Jaggedclaw should be treated with respect. He's as proud a warrior as anyone else."

"All he ever does now is sit on his butt and eat our prey and make apprentices scurry around to take care of him!" Spiderkit spat. "I want to be a real apprentice, not a moss-carrier!"

Sootkit twisted around to look up at her mother. "I don't want to take care of him either," she confessed. "He's sort of scary."

Ravenwing's green eyes gentled. "Jaggedclaw proved himself to be a noble warrior many times over," she said gently. "It isn't his fault that he was scarred and hurt by a monster. Do you know how he had that accident?"

Sootkit attempted to exchange glances at Spiderkit, but he was staring out of the den. "No," she said quietly.

Ravenwing began licking her again, speaking inbetween licks. "Jaggedclaw was fighting in the battle against Lion," she meowed. "He already had many scars on his pelt then; he had them before he even met Reedrush, and that was moons ago. During the battle, Jaggedclaw was fighting a very fierce warrior; Jaggedclaw was often caught up in battle, and he hated letting his enemies run away. He managed to beat the fierce warrior – Jaggedclaw was immensely strong – but he couldn't allow the warrior to just flee. Jaggedclaw chased after him, and the two of them raced over the Thunderpath. Jaggedclaw was so intent on pursuing and punishing the TalonClan warrior that he didn't see the monster until it was too late."

Spiderkit was pretending not to listen, his eyes fixed on the den entrance, but his ears were pricked and his green eyes were glittering with interest. Finally, he tutned towards his mother. "That was stupid of him," he said. "But he was really strong, right?"

"One of the strongest in the Clan," Ravenwing said with a nod. "In terms of pure power, he was probably the most powerful warrior. Unfortunately, he lacked finesse, and that is probably what gave him the older scars he carries. The point is, Jaggedclaw is a loyal and noble warrior; he lost his ear and eye defending the Clan. You should see it as an honor to help him, as the other apprentices do. He might not be the most friendly cat, but he won't eat you."

"And if we help, then we'll already be prepared for that part of being a warrior, right?" Sootkit asked slowly. "We'll already be good at helping our elders like we should."

Ravenwing nodded, smiling. Satisfied, Sootkit rested her muzzle on her paws once more, allowing her mother's licks to soothe her. Her eyes drifted slowly closed.

They fluttered open moments later, when Spiderkit hissed,

"Hey, look! Eaglestrike is apprenticing Leopard, I think."

Sootkit raised her head, peering out of the den entrance; sure enough, she could see Eaglestrike sitting on top of the BranchPile, looking down on young Leopard. The dappled she-cat was looking up at him, a strange glow in her green eyes. Sootkit's pelt prickled uncomfortably, as she thought of her dream; she could almost picture Chillpaw in Leopard's place, and she shuddered.

_I won't let anything like that happen to my father, _she vowed. _What happened to Silverstar can never happen again._

"I guess he's doing it now because the sunhigh patrol just got back," Spiderkit said slowly. His eyes were glittering, and Sootkit realized that her brother was imagining himself in Leopard's place, picturing his father naming him an apprentice.

"Leopard, although you are a newcomer to this Clan, you are over six moons old and are therefore of apprenticing age," Eaglestrike meowed, his voice ringing over the clearing. Sootkit pricked her ears, drinking in every word, feeling a glow of pride; that was her _father _up there, speaking to the Clan with certainty and strength in his voice. "From this day forward, until you earn your warrior name, you will be known as Leopardpaw. I ask StarClan to look over you and watch you until you find in your paws the strength and courage of a warrior."

A smirk curled Leopardpaw's muzzle; she seemed almost amused by the ceremony, as if it was all beneath her somehow. Sootkit felt an uneasy prickle, but forced it away; this she-cat had saved her, after all. It would take time for her to settle into the Clan, but surely she would be as good a warrior as any other cat.

_This Clan was made of rogues, after all, right? Rogues and kittypets and warriors without a real Clan...She'll fit right in._

"Frostfeather, you are ready to take on an apprentice," Eaglestrike continued. Sootkit saw Frostfeather's ears prick, as she blinked in surprise, before smiling and rising to her paws, padding forwards. "You received excellent training from Flameheart, and you have shown yourself to be fierce and brave. You will be the mentor of Leopardpaw, and I trust you to pass on all you know to her."

Sootkit watched as Frostfeather bent down to touch Leopardpaw's nose; for a moment, she pictured herself that same way, touching noses with her new mentor.

"Someday, that'll be us," Spiderkit said softly. "We'll be the apprentices..." He glanced at her. "Who do you want for your mentor?"

"Daddy," Sootkit purred. Spiderkit rolled his eyes.

"He can't mentor you, he's got Blizzardpaw, furball," he said. "I want Stormshadow. He's big and strong."

"He has Jaypaw, though," Sootkit pointed out.

"Well, he can just train me like Forestheart did Redpaw while he was still training Thistlepaw," Spiderkit said. "He'll make me bigger, so I'll be strong. Like Jaggedclaw."

"But Jaypaw isn't near the end of his apprenticeship, like Thistlepaw was," Sootkit said slowly. Spiderkit glared at her, and she quickly mewed, "I want Reedrush, then. She's really nice, and pretty. Blackpaw's almost done training, so Reedrush could train me..."

"Firepaw and Blackpaw both have another moon before they get to be warriors, maybe a moon and a half," Ravenwing said with a yawn. "You two might actually have late apprenticeships. The only two free warriors are Petalcloud and Thistlethorn, and he's too young to mentor his own apprentice."

"Well, you can have Petalcloud, Sootkit," Spiderkit growled. "She's too soft for me. I'll wait for Stormshadow to be open again."

Ravenwing let out a quiet purr, reaching to lick Spiderkit's head. "You'll have a long wait ahead of you, I'm afraid."

Spiderkit wriggled out of her grasp. "Yeah," he said darkly, "and we've got moons of apprentice duties still ahead of us."

Sootkit moved to sit beside him, nuzzling his shoulder. "It'll be okay," she mewed, then said more bravely, "I can take care of Jaggedclaw, if you want." A mischievous gleam entered her yellow eyes. "If you're too scared of him, that is..."

He bristled. "I'm not scared of anything!" he yowled, and turned, pouncing on her. She laughed as he pinned her to the ground, before pushing him off of her easily with one paw. The two kits tumbled over one another, fears and worries forgotten, before they finally collapsed in exhaustion and drifted away into sleep.

. . .

_She opened her eyes, and blinked with relief as she realized that she was not in AshClan camp. She was not watching Silverstar make Chillpaw a warrior, was not watching the icy-eyed apprentice kill his former mentor. She was simply somewhere else, in a field. As she glanced around, she realized that the field was filled with flowers, the color of the bright blue sky. She smiled, and bounced forward, feeling as though she was floating through the tall grass, her paws barely touching the ground as she weaved through the faintly sweet-smelling blue flowers._

_Moonkit suddenly appeared at her side, with her beautiful sleek black fur, lithe figure, and eyes that were just as blue as the flowers. The crescent moon marking gleamed brightly on her chest, almost seeming to glow as Sootkit looked at it._

"_Moonkit!"she squeaked happily, pawing her friend's nose. Moonkit grinned at her, then pounced, pinning Sootkit to the ground. Just as she had with her brother moments earlier, Sootkit and the black cat tumbled together, rolling through the flowers and bouncing around, letting out occasional playful growls and squeals of excitement, until they finally collapsed beside each other, panting. The sun glowed above them, a strange green color, oddly comforting; it reminded Sootkit of her mother's eyes. She relaxed in its warmth, then glanced over at Moonkit. Her friend was still panting, but smiling. Sootkit smiled back, looking longingly at the crescent moon marking; what she would give, to have something special like that._

_But she did have something, sort of. She looked down at her paws; one was dark, dark gray, the same color as her dapples. The other was white, pure white. Sootkit smiled, touching it with her darker paw. When she was younger, Ravenwing had always liked to lick sootkit's white paw and say that her daughter had "one paw in StarClan." When she was younger, Sootkit had taken her mother's words literally, and she would stare at her white paw for hours, wondering when it would disappear and go to StarClan as her mother had said. Sometimes she would even dream of hobbling around on three legs. Now that she was older, however, she knew what her mother meant; Sootkit had nearly died when she was very little, Ravenwing told her, only moments old._

"_It was a hard kitting," she remembered Ravenwing saying. "Spiderkit came out easily, but you...oh, you were a struggle. I was exhausted...neither Rumble nor Shimmerpaw had delivered a litter before, you know, so all they could do was comfort me and try to ease my pain...when you finally came out, you were still, so still...I was certain that you were dead..._

"_I must have blacked out, for when I awoke there were two kits suckling at my belly, and Rumble and Shimmerpaw told me that I had given birth to a third kit, a stillborn...you're my little miracle, Sootkit. You've got one paw in StarClan."_

_Sootkit licked her white paw gently, thoughtfully; perhaps that was why she had these strange dreams that didn't seem to make sense. Perhaps it was because she had nearly died when she was so young. _

Only StarClan knows, _she thought, _and I couldn't make it to see them today.

_But there was no need to think of such things, not while she was with Moonkit. She shot her friend a smile, and Moonkit smiled warmly back, her blue eyes glowing with affection. And around them, the sky-blue flowers turned into butterflies, rising into the air in a blue cloud, streaking across the sky and the green sun shining overhead._

. . .

She awoke slowly, hovering in that special place between consciousness and unconsciousness; she knew if she opened her eyes, she would cross over, but she was warm and still sleepy, and didn't want to. She felt Spiderkit shift beside her, and knew that in only a few moments he would be jabbing her awake. She had to complete her ritual quickly, then.

_Okay, _she thought. _I am Moonkit. My pelt is black. It is silky, dark, soft. My build is slim. I am very fast, perfect at hunting. My eyes are blue. They are the color of the sky, beautiful and alluring to all. On my chest is a beautiful crescent moon marking, which shows my connection to StarClan. I am not big and clumsy. I do not have ugly gray fur and nasty yellow eyes. I am not dull and boring and unremarkable. I do not dream of horrible things...just butterflies, nice stuff like that. I am Moonkit._

But when Spiderkit jabbed her and she opened her eyes, she was, as always, still just big, clumsy, gray Sootkit. She blinked up at him, and then sighed quietly.

_Maybe I won't ever be Moonkit..._she thought sadly. But she didn't have much time to dwell on it; Spiderkit was poking her again.

"Come on, furball," he growled. "Eaglestrike just called for us. Let's go."

She rose to her paws slowly, yawning and stretching before padding after her brother, still feeling groggy. She yawned again, glancing around the sun-dappled camp, before she saw her father. He was waiting patiently, his gray tail wrapped around his paws. When he saw them, his tail uncurled to flick at them, beckoning them forward.

Sootkit trotted over to him quickly, flanked by Spiderkit. Her pelt prickled with nervousness, remembering the duties she and Spiderkit had been assigned.

"Blizzardpaw and I went to get some moss for you two," their father meowed, flicking his tail to a small pile of moss beside him. "Spiderkit, you can use it to make Jaggedclaw a new nest. Sootkit, fetch him something from the prey pile. Then, the two of you can bring your mother some food. After you've done all that, come report to me."

Spiderkit looked surly, but Sootkit felt a tremor of excitement run through her; these were apprentice duties, after all, and when they were finished they would report to her father like real warriors coming back from a patrol! She couldn't help but smile; the smile soon faded, however, when she remembered just how terrifying Jaggedclaw was.

_He's a loyal warrior, _she forced herself to think. _He fought well for the Clan, he won't hurt us...the scars aren't his fault...and he probably won't even talk to us anyway, everything will be fine._

Her father gave the two of them a nod, before rising to his paws; he was heading towards Frostfeather, probably to discuss the next patrols. Sootkit glanced at Spiderkit, giving him a small, nervous smile.

"Come on, it can't be that bad," she purred to him, brushing her pelt against his in an attempt to get him to lighten up.

"Speak for yourself," he said darkly. "You don't have to make a nest; all you've got to do is get him some lousy food!" His fur bristled as he rose to his paws. Sootkit blinked at him anxiously.

"I can make the nest, if you want?" she offered tentatively. He glanced at her, his green eyes considering it, before he sighed.

"No. Eaglestrike gave the job to me, and if he finds out that you did it, he'll be angry. You can help, though. Come on. Ravenwing will be waiting for us to finish so that she can eat too."

Spiderkit bent to grab a mouthful of moss, and Sootkit turned, bouncing towards the fresh-kill pile. She stared down at the pile for a moment, turning several pieces of prey over with her paw to examine them; she didn't want to give Jaggedclaw a bad piece of fresh-kill. What if he ate her face instead?

She finally picked a simple, plump mouse – it was hard to find fault with a good old mouse, after all – and she turned to look for Spiderkit, only to see that he was still struggling with his moss; every time he scooped up a bit of it, some would fall out of his mouth, leaving him scrambling to gather that scrap while losing more of it. She wanted to help, but her mouth was full of mouse, and she was too timid to deliver the mouse to Jaggedclaw on her own.

Then, she glanced to the side, seeing a dark shape bounce out of the medicine den. A blue-gray streak dashed forward, nearly running Spiderkit over. It was Bluepaw, her blue eyes dancing as she grinned down at the black kit.

"Need some help with that, Spiderkit?" she purred brightly. Sootkit let out a low purr; Bluepaw and Redpaw were the apprentices that she remembered most easily, because they had not been apprentices for very long. Bluepaw had been a good friend, but Sootkit rarely saw her now; Bluepaw was always up to her ears in herbs, as well as chasing after the bad-tempered Shimmerfrost.

Spiderkit seemed to remember her as well, for he didn't bristle as he normally would. "Yeah," he said grudgingly, his voice muffled by the moss. Bluepaw smiled brightly, scooping up the remaining moss in her mouth. The three of them padded towards Jaggedclaw together.

"Redpaw says thanks, by the way," Bluepaw said quietly as they drew closer. "He's the youngest, you know, and the other apprentices all wanted him to take care of Jaggedclaw; he was really looking forward to you guys becoming apprentices so you could do it for him. Now he doesn't have to wait!"

Sootkit blinked, her yellow eyes round with concern. "Is he really that hard to take care of?"

Bluepaw let out a quiet purr. "I don't know personally, I don't see him much; he doesn't really do anything, so he doesn't get hurt. Redpaw says he can be really snappy, though...mostly it's just annoying to him. He always says we shouldn't waste the effort on old cats that can't really help the Clan...I think he's just repeating what Firepaw says, but I don't know."

Sootkit frowned. "But he fought for the Clan, didn't he? Shouldn't we take care of him for that?"

Bluepaw shrugged. "I don't know. I mean...warriors and medicine cats both do anything they can for their Clan. They serve it with their lives. But if you're not useful anymore, and you're bringing your Clan down...well, I think it would be better if you just took care of yourself, you know? So the Clan doesn't have to be burdened with you...especially in his case. I mean, he's not even that old, so it's not like he has extra wisdom or anything..." She blinked, her blue eyes widening slightly as she said quickly, "Don't think I'm cold-hearted, or anything, though! I mean, he doesn't have to do it painfully, or anything. If you eat enough poppy seeds...and there's always StarClan...Oh, that sounded really awful, didn't it?" Her ears flattened.

"No," Sootkit said slowly. "I kind of see what you mean. It does seem weird, for a warrior to burden his clan...but at the same time, killing yourself...I don't know." Her ears flattened. "There isn't just an easy solution."

Bluepaw rolled her eyes. "Ah, kithood. I remember those days. What you'll learn, Sootkit, is that there is rarely ever a simple solution."

She stopped, and Sootkit realized they were at the elder's den.

"Good luck!" Bluepaw said cheerily, as she set her moss down. "Have fun!" She gave the two kits a grin, before bouncing off again, heading back to her den.

Sootkit and Spiderkit exchanged nervous glances. Sootkit felt a tremor of anxiety race through her body, and she gave Spiderkit a pleading glance.

"Go first, please," she begged. Spiderkit's eyes narrowed.

"You," he ordered, flicking his tail commandingly. "Go on. Scoot. He'll be happier if he's eating."

"But what if he wants to eat _me?_" she squeaked anxiously. "I don't want to be eaten!"

Their heads snapped around to face the elder's den, as they heard the sound of a cat's weight shifting. Sharp eyes opened, glittering in the entrance. A scarred muzzle appeared, just far enough out of the den to see.

"Get in here. If you're fast, I won't eat you."

**AN: See? Sootkit still has good dreams.**

**Charrie bios are up, by the way, as are the allegiances, if you haven't looked at the blog yet.**


	4. C h a p t e r 3

**AN: So many questions! How exciting! C:**

**Moonkit is about 90% in Sootkit's head. The other 10% comes from somewhere else, but Moonkit is not/has never been a real kit (probably because I'd shoot my fingers off if I made a kit with a special moon marking as a serious character xD).**

**C _h a p t e r _3**

Sootkit glanced at him, looking for help as she always did. His eyes narrowed at her, and she quickly looked away.

"Together," he whispered to her, quietly enough that Jaggedclaw couldn't hear. She nodded anxiously, and together the two kits padded forward, into Jaggedclaw's dark lair.

His eyes adjusted to the gloom quickly, but he wished they hadn't as he gazed at Jaggedclaw's scarred face. As Ravenwing had said, his entire pelt was riddled with scars; there was a huge scar on his neck, old-looking, as if some cat's claws had raked over it many times, over and over. A huge scar ran all the way from his scar to almost the base of his tail. And then his face...Spiderkit's stomach churned. The monster had ripped away most of the skin on one side of Jaggedclaw's face, and although the skin had obviously come back, there was no fur to hide the twisted scars. One of his ears was completely gone, reduced to a few worthless scraps of skin. One of his eyes was closed, the lid hiding whatever mangled eye remained; his remaining one seemed to blaze as he looked at the two kits, as if daring them to say anything about his appearance.

Turning slightly, Spiderkit could see the other scar, the one that had truly taken Jaggedclaw's hopes of becoming a warrior from him, reducing his once-powerful gait to a pathetic limp. Spiderkit's stomach clenched at the thought of the pain that Jaggedclaw must have gone through to survive, and the pain that must be within him now.

_But he did survive, even with all that, and he's still alive today, _Spiderkit thought, feeling something almost like awe run through him. _He wouldn't let even a monster kill him. He really was the strongest warrior in the Clan..._

A prickle of excitement raced through his pelt, but he dropped his gaze, not wanting Jaggedclaw to see it. He heard Jaggedclaw's claws unsheathe, and tensed with fear, but the scarred tabby only pulled Sootkit's mouse towards him. He surveyed it with one eye, before taking a bite. Spiderkit could hear the bones crunching, and despite himself he flinched, imagining the mouse as a kit; he was certain that Jaggedclaw's powerful jaws could have crushed a kit even as big as Sootkit.

Sootkit was still standing in the entrance, looking terrified. Spiderkit steeled himself, pushing Bluepaw's moss with one paw into the corner, dropping his own beside it.

"I'm here to make you a new nest," he said quietly; his gaze focused on his black paws, almost invisible in the shadows of the den.

Jaggedclaw merely grunted, shifting to the side slightly, allowing Spiderkit to hook his claws into the old moss and tug it free.

"Go take this wherever they put the old moss," Spiderkit ordered to Sootkit; she blinked at him gratefully, glad to be away from the silver tom. She quickly padded away, leaving Spiderkit and Jaggedclaw alone together.

Spiderkit pulled some of the new moss towards him with one paw, shaping it into a round mass as he'd seen the other apprentices do for Ravenwing. He frowned as he did so, pulling more moss towards him and focusing on it, rather than look at Jaggedclaw. He could still hear the scarred warrior crunching on the mouse, but he did his best to ignore it.

He rolled in the new nest, creating a hollow in the middle upon which Jaggedclaw could lay.

"All done," he said quietly. Jaggedclaw stopped chewing, and Spiderkit glanced up at him, wondering if he had done something wrong. But Jaggedclaw's gaze was almost completely emotionless as he looked down on the little black kit; he looked almost thoughtful. Then, slowly, he rose to his paws, leaning heavily on one side. His muscles rippled powerfully underneath his pelt; he looked easily as strong as any warrior.

_Even after all this time spent lying here in the elder's den...he's still so strong! _Spiderkit thought, eyes widening. _If he hadn't been injured by that monster...he would still be the strongest in the Clan!_

Spiderkit quickly pushed the nest until it was underneath the large tom, then scrambled out of the way as Jaggedclaw came crashing down upon it. With his injured shoulder, he could not lower himself easily as most cats could. Spiderkit wondered how much it would hurt, to fall every time you wanted to lie down.

"You can go now," Jaggedclaw growled. "I wouldn't want to drag you away from your precious training."

The bitterness in his voice was so sharp that it almost seemed to claw Spiderkit's ears, and he winced. He turned, hearing Sootkit coming back.

"Hey," she panted. "I gave the old moss to Blizzardpaw, he's taking it back to wherever it goes. Are you finished?"

Spiderkit started to nod, then hesitated. "Almost done," he meowed. "Go ahead and bring Ravenwing her breakfast. I'll find you here in a minute, so we can report to Eaglestrike."

Sootkit was obviously taken aback, but she smiled and nodded. "Okay. Hurry, we don't want to let Eaglestrike wait too long, or we'll think we're lazy!" She bounced off towards the prey pile, and Spiderkit turned back towards Jaggedclaw.

The scarred tom was regarding him with a faintly curious eye. "Why are you still here?"

"Just curious," Spiderkit meowed, trying to sound brave by forcing the tremor out of his voice.

Jaggedclaw's eye narrowed. "If you're hoping for some wonderful tale about the wisdom of StarClan or something, look elsewhere," he growled. "I'm not that kind of elder."

"I know," Spiderkit said. "I was just wondering...about something that you did. Yesterday, when Sootkit and I were sneaking out...You saw us, I know you did. You were staring right at us. But you didn't raise the alarm, or anything. You just let us sneak out. Why?" He was cautious, not wanting to accuse the large tabby of anything, but he was also curious; if Jaggedclaw was a loyal warrior, why hadn't he alerted AshClan that two kits were sneaking out of camp?

Jaggedclaw was quiet for a moment. "I don't know," he growled finally. "When I was growing up...such things were expected. Kits were supposed to sneak out, explore the world. It didn't always end well...but those that survived were always stronger for it. It just seemed to me that if rogue kits who don't have anything were given that sort of opportunity, then Clan kits, who were sheltered and cared for...they should have it too. I didn't think there was anything too nasty in this forest for you two to get tangled up in. Apparently I was wrong, since your sister decided that she could just fly over the river by herself."

Spiderkit blinked slowly; it was not the sort of sentiment that he had expected from a warrior like Jaggedclaw. _Wherever he lived, it must have been tough, _he thought, his green eyes tracing over the old scars that riddled the tom's pelt.

"Go," Jaggedclaw ordered quietly, pushing the remains of the mouse towards Spiderkit. "Eaglestrike will be waiting for the both of you, and you'll be in more trouble than you already are."

Spiderkit wrinkled his nose at the remains of the mouse, but pushed them out of the elder's den obediently. He paused for a moment at the entrance, and glanced over his shoulder at Jaggedclaw, feeling almost curious, only to see that Jaggedclaw had already moved so that his muzzle was facing the back of the den, turning his back on his Clan.

He disposed of the mouse quickly, and headed for the nursery; inside he could see Ravenwing eating, a vole tucked between her paws, as she laughed at something that Sootkit had said. She turned her glowing green eyes on Spiderkit as he entered the den.

"Come on," he growled to Sootkit, sounding almost like Jaggedclaw himself. "We've got to tell Eaglestrike that we're finished."

Sootkit nodded eagerly, springing to her paws; Spiderkit noticed a scrap of meat hanging on one whisker. Evidently, she'd been sharing Ravenwing's vole. His pelt prickled with jealousy, but he ignored it, pushing her roughly out of the nursery with his nose.

He swept his emerald gaze over the camp, searching for his father; he spotted him with Blizzardpaw, about to leave camp.

"Dad!" Sootkit exclaimed, running towards her father. Spiderkit quickly followed, catching up to his slower sister easily. Eaglestrike stopped, smiling as they approached.

"Are you two finished with your duties?" he asked. Both kits nodded.

"As useless are they are," Spiderkit grumbled. Eaglestrike's eyes narrowed.

"Taking care of the elders is an honor, not a useless duty," he said sternly, "and you should treat it as such. Did you bring your mother her food?" He looked down at Sootkit, his whiskers twitching as he saw the scraps still on her face. "I see that you did. Good. But next time, try to let your mother eat all of her food first, okay?" He bent down, licking Sootkit's whiskers clean gently. Spiderkit rolled his eyes.

"Now, when you two are older, you'll be on tick and flea duty," Eaglestrike meowed, "but that seems a little much for just a pair of kits. You two did well today, and I'm sure Jaggedclaw is very grateful."

"He sure sounded grateful," Spiderkit remarked sarcastically. Eaglestrike flicked his tail sharply against Spiderkit's muzzle.

"Learning a few manners wouldn't hurt, you know," his father meowed. "You won't win any friends with a thorn-sharp tongue."

Spiderkit shrugged. "Who needs friends? I'm going to be the strongest warrior in the Clan someday. Then everyone will respect me."

He was irritated to see his father's whiskers twitch in amusement.

"I hope so, Spiderkit, but being strong isn't all that it takes to win respect," Eaglestrike said. He glanced at Blizzardpaw. Seeing that he was being prompted, the white apprentice quickly spoke up,

"Respect comes from showing that you can be depended on by your Clanmates, that you follow the warrior code, and that you always put the Clan first."

Eaglestrike nodded. "Correct. Now, Spiderkit, you can choose something from the fresh-kill pile to share with your sister. Blizzardpaw and I are going hunting."

"Can I come?" Sootkit asked eagerly. "Please?" Spiderkit was disgusted by the pleading note that had entered her voice.

Their father shook his head. "I think you two are in enough trouble as it is. Maybe one of the apprentices in camp will show you a move or two, but you're not allowed to leave, understand?"

Sootkit dipped her head, but Spiderkit stared up at his father, irritation running over his pelt like ants.

_Just wait 'til I'm bigger, _he thought. _Then I'll be the strongest, and I'll be able to do whatever I want!_

Eaglestrike flicked his tail, and he and Blizzardpaw quickly padded out of camp. Sootkit turned to Spiderkit, her yellow eyes still bright.

"Pick us something good," she purred, as they headed towards the prey pile together.

. . .

Spiderkit licked his paw, rubbing it over his muzzle to get off the last few scraps of prey that insisted upon clinging to his fur. He felt pleasantly full, the shrew resting comfortably in his stomach. He yawned, rolling onto his side, enjoying the sun caressing his black fur.

_If I eat a lot, maybe I'll get bigger, _he thought sleepily. _But...I'll only get _stronger _by training. _

He opened his eyes, remembering Eaglestrike's suggestion. If the apprentices would show them hunting moves, perhaps they would show him some battle moves as well. Energized by the idea, he sprang to his paws despite his full stomach, jabbing Sootkit with one paw. She didn't respond, so he jabbed her again. She yawned, blinking slowly, and frowned at him.

"I was napping," she complained.

"Napping catches no mice," Spiderkit growled, quoting their mother. "Come on. We've got to see if the apprentices will show us some stuff."

"Hunting moves?" Sootkit asked excitedly, her napping forgotten.

"No, furball, battle moves! Fighting is the most important thing about being a warrior. If we're really good fighters, then we can handle any trouble we get into." His eyes glowed at the thought. "Come on!"

He ran towards the apprentice den, hearing Sootkit on his heels. He poked his head into the den, blinking as he saw Redpaw and Blackpaw both fast asleep. He frowned.

_Redpaw's too young to know many good moves...and Blackpaw's a total wimp when it comes to fighting, or so I've heard, _he thought darkly. Scowling, he backed out of the apprentice den, glancing around camp once more.

He saw Firepaw and Jaypaw sharing a meal in one corner of camp, and he dashed towards them. They turned to him as he approached, both blinking. Seeing that Jaypaw was distracted, Firepaw quickly gulped down the last of their meal.

"Hey, Spiderkit," Jaypaw purred. "How's Jaggedclaw?"

Spiderkit surveyed him suspiciously, but Jaypaw didn't appear to making fun of him, simply asking. "Fine," he said crisply. "But I was wondering if you two could help me and Sootkit."

Jaypaw's ears pricked. "Sure, what do you need?"

"We want to learn some battle moves, before we actually become apprentices," Sootkit explained, panting slightly as she finally caught up to her brother. Firepaw's eyes glittered with interest.

"Sure, we can show you a few things," the ginger tom purred, always happy to show off. He rose to his paws, then stretched, limbering himself up.

"I don't think we're supposed to teach kits battle moves," Jaypaw said uncertainly. "I mean, hunting stuff, sure, but battle moves will just get them into trouble."

Firepaw gave the gray tom a disdainful glance. "Fine then, go hunt or something," he ordered. "I'm going to show them a few things."

"I'll watch, just in case things get out of paw," Jaypaw said cautiously. Firepaw rolled his eyes, before flicking his tail to the two kits, motioning for them to follow. He headed away from the corner of camp, towards the middle, where there was more room.

"Okay," Firepaw said, crouching. "Try to attack me."

Sootkit and Spiderkit exchanged glances.

"But we don't know anything," Spiderkit pointed out. Firepaw grinned at them.

"Exactly. I'm going to teach you, duh, and the best way to learn is in battle! Come on!"

Spiderkit frowned, not wanting to appear a coward, but at the same time he was wary about attacking the ginger apprentice. He was the oldest apprentice in the Clan, and the most skilled at fighting; he also had a reputation for being a little overly-tough, because of his early life as a rogue.

Sootkit, however, looked excited. "Mind if I try first?" she asked Spiderkit. He shook his head, backing up to allow the two cats more room.

_I always have to remind myself that even though she's quiet and timid with me, around other cats she's more confident, _he thought, watching as his sister crouched as she faced Firepaw, her tail twitching eagerly._ He had better not hurt her, or Eaglestrike will shred him! And I'll help, too!_

"Come on," Firepaw said, grinning. "Hurry up, don't take all day. If we were really in a battle, I would have attacked and beaten you already!"

Sootkit didn't seem offset by his bragging; rather, her eyes gleamed brighter than ever, as if she was imagining herself in a real battle. She suddenly sprang forward, charging at Firepaw directly.

_No, stupid! _Spiderkit thought immediately. _He's a lot bigger than you, and faster too! You're too slow to try and get him like that!_

Sure enough, Firepaw sprang into the air, leaping right over Sootkit. Sootkit tried to turn and catch him as he landed on the ground neatly, but her leg twisted and she fell, tumbling onto her side. Firepaw was on her within moments, his paws planted on her side, pinning her down.

"I win," he grinned, before falling back into a crouch once more. "Try again."

She got to her paws, watching him. "Aren't you going to tell me what I did wrong?"

"You didn't get me, obviously," Firepaw said. Spiderkit's pelt prickled with irritation.

Sootkit charged him again, the same way as she had before, but this time Firepaw stood his ground. He turned to the side as she ran towards him, and braced himself. The sound of Sootkit's head colliding with his side made Spiderkit wince, and Sootkit fell back onto the ground with a yelp of pain.

Firepaw's paws were on Sootkit once more, and he grinned down at her, amber eyes glowing, before springing back. "Come on, try it again."

Sootkit whimpered, sitting up and rubbing her head with one paw. "That really hurt."

Spiderkit bristled, glaring at Firepaw. "You aren't training her at all! You're just showing off."

Firepaw smirked. "I think you're just jealous because I actually know how to fight. All you two know is how to almost drown and take care of elders!"

Spiderkit's fur bristled. "Shut up!" he spat, advancing upon the ginger apprentice. Firepaw's eyes gleamed, and Spiderkit knew he welcomed a fight.

Spiderkit charged at him, just as Sootkit had done. Firepaw's smirk grew wider, and Spiderkit knew he was thinking that Spiderkit was mouse-brained to attempt the same thing as his sister. Just as Spiderkit had hoped, Firepaw sprang into the air. Spiderkit twisted around, much more quickly than Sootkit had done because of his small size and readiness. As Firepaw landed, Spiderkit sprang again, landing on Firepaw's back. Firepaw yelped as Spiderkit's thorn-sharp claws pricked his skin.

"Claws aren't fair! Get off!" Firepaw yowled, twisting around to try to grab Spiderkit. Spiderkit clung on, knowing he was out of Firepaw's reach. Firepaw continued to twist, going in circles, before he finally growled,

"If you don't let go, I'm going to squish you, got it?"

Spiderkit continued to clutch Firepaw's fur, and after a moment the ginger apprentice reared back onto his hind legs, ready to crush Spiderkit against the ground as he fell.

Spiderkit's eyes glinted; it was just what he'd expected Firepaw to do. He'd seen the move many times, when the apprentices played with one another in camp. He sprang off of Firepaw just as the ginger apprentice toppled to the ground. Before Firepaw could get up, Spiderkit sprang onto his stomach, nipping his chest.

Then, Firepaw's eyes gleamed, and Spiderkit realized moments too late that he had fallen into a trap. Kicking Spiderkit away as if he weighed no more than thistledown, Firepaw quickly pinned him, grinning.

"You were doing pretty good, until you thought that a cat your size could actually pin me," he laughed. His laughter infuriated Spiderkit, and he slashed at Firepaw's stomach with his claws. The apprentice barely flinched, flipping Spiderkit onto his side with one paw and pinning him again. Spiderkit struggled helplessly, but couldn't move.

"Maybe next time you'll think twice before acting like you're tough," Firepaw purred, his whiskers twitching with amusement. "A kit your size should be running from warriors, not fighting them!"

Spiderkit increased his struggles, but to no avail; Firepaw was too big. Burning with humiliation, he glared up at the ginger apprentice, but that only seemed to amuse him more.

"Firepaw, get off of him, come on," he heard Jaypaw call. "He's just a kit."

"I don't need your help!" Spiderkit spat. "I can take care of this myself!"

"Sure you can," Firepaw laughed. "Little Spiderkit, the big bad warrior. I'm shaking in my fur!"

"Hey, you," an unfamiliar voice growled. Firepaw turned to see who was speaking, and Spiderkit took the opportunity to wiggle out of his grasp, scrambling to his paws. He prepared to pounce on Firepaw, imagining his claws swiping his smug muzzle, before he blinked as he recognized the voice.

It was Leopardpaw, having just returned from hunting with her mentor. Her green eyes were cool as she watched Firepaw.

"You think you're tough because you can beat a kit?" she sneered. "You're nothing. Look at him! He's barely enough to feed a mouse's belly."

Spiderkit bristled, and he opened his mouth, but Firepaw beat him to it.

"Like you're any tougher?" the ginger tom laughed. "You're practically his age, even if you're bigger than he is."

"Skill is all that matters," Leopardpaw replied, "and I've got more skill in one claw than you do in your entire body."

Firepaw's eyes narrowed at the challenge. "Want to prove it?"

"Hang on now, the both of you," Frostfeather meowed, frowning at them. "If you want to spar, don't do it in camp."

Firepaw's eyes were still narrowed. "We won't make a mess or anything, Frostfeather. We'll be careful."

"Besides, the kits will want to see this," Leopardpaw growled. "It concerns them, the little one especially."

"I don't need you to fight my battles for me!" Spiderkit hissed at her. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself!"

She turned her green eyes towards him, and the same smirk that Firepaw had been showing moments before was curling her muzzle. Anger blazed up inside of him, and it was all he could do not to spring at her.

He felt warmth against his side, and found that Sootkit had pressed her pelt against his. "It's okay," she whispered to him. "We can't fight our own battles yet, but it's okay to admit that. Someday you'll be really big and strong, and you can do it yourself, okay?"

"Get off," he growled, pushing her away, but her words had dulled the flame somewhat.

_When I'm bigger, then we'll see who's better, _he thought, staring at Firepaw.

Frostfeather still looked uncertain. "I guess the kits aren't allowed of camp, so if they're to watch it has to be here...Well, it will at least give me an opportunity to gauge your current fighting abilities, Leopardpaw." She nodded, as if sealing the decision. "Okay. Just make sure to keep away from the fresh-kill pile, and don't make too much noise. The standard sparring rules all apply. Sootkit, Spiderkit, Jaypaw, come over here out of the way."

Sootkit trotted towards her aunt obediently; Spiderkit sent a glare in Firepaw's direction before stalking over to sit beside his sister. Jaypaw flanked his other side; his green eyes seemed faintly worried as he watched Leopardpaw pad towards Firepaw.

"Okay, get ready," Frostfeather ordered; Firepaw slid into a smooth crouch, but Leopardpaw didn't move. "Now...begin!"

Instantly, Leopardpaw flew forwards, aiming to the left before slashing at Firepaw's right. He narrowly managed to avoid her sharp claws, springing backwards. He reared onto his hind paws as she neared him again, preparing to land on her back, but she slid smoothly out of the way. Her green eyes glowed as she sprang at him, landing on his back just as Spiderkit had done. Then, to Spiderkit's surprise, Leopardpaw sank her fangs into Firepaw's ear.

Firepaw let out a yowl of pain; Spiderkit glanced at Frostfeather, who was on her paws yelling something at Leopardpaw. The dappled apprentice didn't seem to hear; if anything, she bit harder. Firepaw thrashed, but couldn't turn around, or cause more damage to his ear. He dropped to his stomach and rolled to the side, trying to crush her, only to yowl again; Spiderkit realized that Leopardpaw must have unsheathed her claws, and by lying down on her Firepaw had caused his own weight to make her claws drive even deeper.

Leopardpaw released him, and he sprang up again; his ear was bleeding, and his face twisted in a snarl as he sprang at Leopardpaw. She moved to the side, stretching out her front paws to trip him. Firepaw went sprawling, letting out a yowl of anger as he regained his footing and launched himself at the dappled apprentice once more. The smugness in her eyes was even more obvious now, as was the rage in Firepaw's. Leopardpaw obviously thought she had already won, as she moved to trip the ginger apprentice.

_No, idiot! _Spiderkit thought, as he saw Firepaw's eyes gleam; Firepaw was ready for Leopardpaw's move this time, and he changed direction, catching her on the shoulder. Trying to trip Firepaw had left the golden-brown she-cat unbalanced, and she toppled to one side. Firepaw was on her instantly, but unlike he had with Sootkit, he did not pin her. Instead, he sank his teeth into her shoulder, causing Leopardpaw to let out a loud hiss of pain.

Spiderkit realized that Frostfeather had moved from where she'd been standing beside him. She was dashed forward, knocking Firepaw away from Leopardpaw with her shoulder. Thinking that her mentor had come to help her, Leopardpaw rose to fly at Firepaw again, only to find her mentor knocking her to the ground and pinning her.

"What are you two doing?" Frostfeather spat. Her green eyes were burning, much more fiercely than her gentle sister Ravenwing's gaze. "What did I just get through telling you? You weren't supposed to be tearing each other apart!"

Firepaw had regained his footing; the ginger apprentice looked sulky. "She started it!" he whined. "She's the one who bit me first!"

"What's going on here?" a powerful voice demanded. Spiderkit turned, and his ears flattened as he saw that it was his father with Blizzardpaw, returning from their hunt.

_Of course, StarClan, you sent them home now! _He thought furiously.

Frostfeather turned towards Eaglestrike, her pelt still bristling with anger. "Leopardpaw and I returned home to see Firepaw practically crushing poor Spiderkit to death," she growled. "Leopardpaw wanted to try her paw against Firepaw. For _some _reason, I thought this was a good idea." She sent her apprentice a glare. "But the two of them got out of hand."

Eaglestrike's eyes traced the scene, lingering on the few drops of blood that had landed on the dusty ground, from Firepaw's ear. "I see. Who struck first?"

"She bit me!" Firepaw exclaimed. "Look at my ear! She practically mangled it, the crazy-" He broke off, and it seemed to occur to him for the first time that he might be in trouble with the deputy for hurting his son.

"Leopardpaw bit first," Frostfeather admitted.

"And clawed first," Firepaw growled.

"Let her up," Eaglestrike ordered. Frostfeather shot him a glance, and he nodded. Glancing down at Leopardpaw, Frostfeather stood, allowing Leopardpaw to stand.

"Now, is this true?" Eaglestrike demanded, looking at Leopardpaw sternly. "Did you bite him first? And unsheathe your claws first as well?"

"I didn't know it was against the rules," Leopardpaw growled defiantly. She glanced at her mentor over her shoulder. "Frostfeather said we had to fight by the usual rules, but I didn't know what those were."

"And you didn't think to ask?" Eaglestrike meowed. Leopardpaw's eyes darkened as she looked down at her paws. "I would have thought that not biting or clawing your Clanmates was obvious, but apparently I was mistaken," the deputy said slowly.

"He's the one you should be angry with! He was attacking your son!" Leopardpaw spat. Eaglestrike regarded her coolly.

"That may be so, and I'll take care of that later. Right now, it's your behavior that I'm concerned about. I understand that you're new to the Clan, but you have much to learn. Your Clanmates are your allies, not your enemies. It was noble of you to try and protect my Spiderkit, but not by fighting your fellow Clanmates. Understand? Sparring is for training, not quarreling. And camp is not the place for it."

Frostfeather flattened her ears sheepishly.

"As for you, Firepaw, care to explain yourself?" Eaglestrike asked, turning his attention to the ginger apprentice.

Firepaw glanced at Spiderkit, his amber eyes faintly worried. "Well, Sootkit and Spiderkit came over to me and Jaypaw asking for battle training," he said slowly. Eaglestrike glanced towards his kits; Spiderkit met his gaze defiantly. "I volunteered. I was with Sootkit, but then Spiderkit took his turn, and the stupid – er, I mean, he used his claws," Firepaw said quickly. Eaglestrike turned his head towards Spiderkit.

"Is that true?"

"He was hurting Sootkit!" Spiderkit protested. "He thinks he's better than us because he's been training longer! He was just pushing us around! And making fun of us, too!"

"It's true," Sootkit said nervously. "But all this is my fault. I'm not very good at fighting yet, and it hrut so I was kind of..." She trailed off uncertainly.

Eaglestrike looked from his kits to Firepaw; Spiderkit could see that he was struggling to make a decision regarding his own kits. Finally, he sighed quietly. "Sootkit, Spiderkit, you two are both too young for battle training. You know that. Firepaw, you should not have agreed to train them, and you should also remember that your job as an apprentice and as a warrior is to protect those weaker than you, not to humiliate them." Spiderkit's fur bristled, and Eaglestrike turned to them. "Sootkit, you need to understand that if you insist upon training with older, more experienced cats, then it is likely that you will be hurt. You made that decision yourself, Firepaw is not entirely responsible. Spiderkit, you need to understand that you are still a kit, not a warrior; some cats will always be stronger than you, it's simply a fact of life. You shouldn't be so quick to anger, when all you lack is experience. Using your claws on Firepaw was uncalled for."

Sootkit nodded, but Spiderkit glowered sullenly. Eaglestrike flicked his tail to Firepaw. "Tomorrow, I expect to see you checking Jaggedclaw for ticks and fleas."

Spiderkit smirked at Firepaw, but Eaglestrike turned to him. "And both of you will be helping him," he said sharply. "Normally I would not make kits do it, but you both apparently want to be apprentices very badly. You three need to learn to work together. As for you, Leopardpaw, take your prey to the fresh-kill pile. Then, I want you and Firepaw to go hunting again together, with Frostfeather watching you. You two need to learn to work together as well. You can eat when you get back, but not before."

Spiderkit gaped at Eaglestrike in disbelief; ticks? Fleas?

_It's not fair! I was protecting Sootkit! _He thought furiously. _I can't help it if we're not old enough to be apprentices yet. That doesn't mean we can't train!_

Leopardpaw and Firepaw didn't look happy either; Leopardpaw was obviously hungry, as was Frostfeather. Firepaw had just eaten, but the thought of checking Jaggedclaw for ticks was enough to make his whiskers curl.

"Come on, Blizzardpaw," Eaglestrike meowed, heading for the fresh-kill pile. Blizzardpaw shot the two kits a sympathetic glance as he passed them, following his mentor.

"Firepaw, let Shimmerfrost look at your ear before we go," Frostfeather ordered. Sullenly, Firepaw slunk away towards the medicine den.

Leopardpaw was watching Spiderkit, as if waiting for him to thank her. He growled at her instead.

"I don't need you to fight my battles for me," he growled. "I can take care of myself, okay? You got us all in trouble!"

"Clearly," Leopardpaw said frostily. "You definitely had everything under control, with Firepaw pinning you down and all."

Spiderkit's pelt bristled, but he felt Sootkit nose his shoulder.

"Come on," she mewed, her yellow eyes round. "Let's just go back to the nursery, okay? I don't want to be in any more trouble."

Spiderkit shot Leopardpaw another glare, but he nodded, allowing Sootkit to lead him away.

Ravenwing was asleep when they entered the nursery, luckily. They curled up together, with Sootkit pressing her nose against his side.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to get everyone on trouble. If I had been stronger, then you wouldn't have had to fight Firepaw at all..."

"Don't feel sorry for yourself," he spat. "I would have fought him anyway, that piece of mousedung. I hope his scratches really hurt."

She shrank away from the venom in his voice. He ignored her, resting his head on his dark paws.

"Well, in half a moon, we'll be apprentices," Sootkit mewed. "Then you'll be able to fight anyone you want. You'll be a great warrior, Spiderkit. I just know it."

He just grunted, looking away; Sootkit's opinion didn't matter. Only time would tell whether or not he would become a good warrior...and after today, he wasn't sure he could measure up.

**AN: I think I changed the color of Jag's eyes like three times in Shattered. Maybe he has magic chameleon eyes. I didn't mention their color in this chapter either, because I'm still not sure what color they should be, hmm. Nothing seems quite right for them. **

**So, I wrote this whole chapter on Saturday, and I was going to wait until Monday to post it to let you guys "soak up the last chapter," as my friend Kat likes to say. But...I'm weak. And bad at sitting on chapters. So hear you go, you adorable ducklings. ^^**


	5. C h a p t e r 4

**AN: I can't help it if I have pet-names...and duckling is such an adorable word. xD**

**C _h a p t e r _4**

_She blinked slowly, and glanced around, suddenly finding herself in a place that she did not recognize. This was not AshClan's camp, where she watched Chillpaw kill Silverstar over and over. Nor was it the meadow where she and Moonkit often played. This was somewhere different, somewhere else entirely, a place that she did not recognize. Looking around her, she saw cats, cats everywhere, more cats than she had ever seen in her entire life; certainly more cats than AshClan or PeakClan could hold, even if combined. Her ears flattened, bewilderment rising within her; where was she?_

_There were four massive trees all around; these seemed to be the focal point of this strange place. Atop a massive rock, four cats sat; her eyes widened as she realized that this rock was like AshClan's BranchPile, or perhaps the place where the AshClan and PeakClan leaders sat during Gatherings._

_Was this where she was, then? Some strange Gathering, in a forest that she had never seen? She opened her mouth, tasting the air; even the air tasted differently here. She really was in a different forest._

Before, I always dreamed of Chillpaw, _she thought, trying to gather her thoughts. _I've never seen this place before...and I don't think my mind could ever make up so many strange cats...so this must be real, then. It must be another scene, like the Chillpaw one. A scene from the past...but who's past is this?

_She realized that the cats were talking, all of them, chattering amongst each other. Opening her mouth again, she blinked as she realized that there were many different scents hanging over this Clan. Some of them smelled faintly like AshClan, but the others were strange; they smelled of mud, of swift-flowing waters, of empty fields where no trees grew. They were entirely different scents, and slowly she realized that there must be different Clans here, more than just two._

Four, _she thought, looking up at the leaders atop the large rock. _Four Clans, four leaders, four trees.

_She looked over the four leaders closely, noting how different they all looked. One was a dark ginger tom, with blazing amber eyes. One was a pretty cream she-cat, with eyes the color of fresh leaves. One had a dark tabby pelt, and the fourth was dark gray._

_But there was something wrong, she could feel it; it was on the air, it was in the gazes of the warriors as they looked up to their leaders, it was in the tremors of their voices. Something was missing here, and it was putting every cat on edge._

"_We shall now start the Gathering," the ginger tom meowed. "Now that all four Clans are here."_

"_But all four Clans are not here!" one cat yowled. It was a silver tabby, and he rose as he spoke. "SkyClan is not here!"_

_The ginger tom stared down at the silver-gray warrior. "SkyClan is not here," he said slowly, "but they will never be here again. SkyClan has left the forest; there was nothing we could do about that."_

"_StarClan is angry!" a she-cat wailed. "They are angry that we have sent SkyClan away!"_

_The dark gray leader's tail lashed. "Silence!" he spat. "StarClan knows that we did what we could for SkyClan. Their leaving is the fault of the Twolegs, not us!"_

"_We should have given them some of our territory," the silver warrior said._

"_Fogheart, you have always been a noble warrior," the ginger leader said quietly. "But your emotions cloud your judgment. The last leaf-bare was not kind to us; we would have perished if we had given any of our territory away."_

"_The last leaf-bare was hard because of StarClan's anger," Fogheart insisted. "Please, Redstar, just listen to me. StarClan always intended for there to be five Clans in the forest. They did not want us to send SkyClan away."_

"_Four is the number of balance," the cream leader meowed. "There are four seasons, four trees here-"_

"_StarClan did not want you to send SkyClan away because there weren't enough _trees _or _seasons!" _Fogheart spat. _

"_Fogheart is right," the she-cat that had wailed before, a pretty cat with fluffy white fur, mewed. "Every Clan lost many kits during the last leaf-bare."_

"_Every Clan loses kits," the dark gray leader growled._

"_But we lost more than usual," the white she-cat insisted. "You know that we did, Swiftstar."_

"_And then, during newleaf, the Twolegs moved even farther than they had before," another cat, a brown tabby, said. "They are creeping into ThunderClan's territory now!"_

"_And during green-leaf, we had all those storms...the storms that toppled some of the oldest trees in the forest over," another cat said._

"_And this leaf-fall, not a single drop of rain has fallen," Fogheart said. "Fires can start during any season; if one started now, even RiverClan would not be safe! StarClan is telling us that the forest is out of balance. We must find SkyClan, and bring them home?"_

_Sootkit blinked slowly, feeling confused. ThunderClan? RiverClan? She had never heard such names before. And who was this SkyClan, that these cats had exiled?_

But they speak of StarClan, and call their leaders 'star', _she thought. _They must be connected to AshClan and PeakClan, somehow...

"_SkyClan is gone," Swiftstar said firmly. "We couldn't find them even if we wanted to."_

"_We can't know that," Fogheart protested. "Not until we look. Please, great leaders, hear us out. SkyClan could be the next Twolegplace over, and we'd never know it, not unless we look! Surely there is a way to balance the forest with five Clans. WindClan, you have the barn near Highstones; you can find more prey there. ShadowClan can hunt near Highstones and Carrionplace. RiverClan is always fat from their supply of fish. And ThunderClan's forest is bountiful, is it not? I believe that if we all just sacrifice a little of our territory, SkyClan can come home!"_

_Redstar sighed. "It is a noble thought, Fogheart. But how can we find StarClan now?"_

"_We know which direction they headed in," the white she-cat said eagerly. "We can follow the river, trace their route. We can find them and bring them home!"_

"_We can't spare too many warriors, not with leaf-bare coming," Swiftstar growled._

"_We have thought this out, I assure you," the brown tabby meowed. "Each Clan only must give up two warriors and two apprentices. The warriors will have the experience; the apprentices will have the energy."_

"_You thought this out?" the cream leader asked suspiciously. "What do you mean?"_

_The other cats looked to Fogheart. The gray warrior looked uncomfortable for a moment. "I have felt that something was wrong in the forest for a long time," he said finally. "I have spoken to my fellow warriors about it, in every Clan. We knew that no one Clan could convince everyone to help; all four Clans were needed to bring SkyClan home."_

_Redstar shook his head, but he did not seem angry. "I should have known, Fogheart; your emotions have led you to stray from the warrior code before...and I'm sure they will again. But perhaps you have a point. Perhaps StarClan is angry with us; these last few seasons have been so hard, that I cannot see how it could be otherwise. Even if we cannot find them, we should look." He turned to the others. "What do you say?"_

_The dark tabby leader was quiet for a moment. Then, he dipped his head. "RiverClan will always have enough fish," he said reluctantly. "We will send two warriors and two apprentices to accomplish this mission."_

_The cream she-cat was next. "ShadowClan will help," she mewed. "We might not have enough territory to help SkyClan...but we don't want StarClan to be angry with us. We'll send our cats."_

_All eyes were on the last leader, Swiftstar; he looked uncomfortable, unwilling to admit his mistake. "I do not believe SkyClan belongs in our Clan any longer," he said finally, "but if WindClan doesn't help, I know that we will go down in history as a selfish Clan, and I do not want that. WindClan will go."_

_Fogheart raised his muzzle. "Then I will be one of the warriors from ThunderClan," he said boldly._

"_And I'll be one of the apprentices from ThunderClan!" the small ginger apprentice sitting beside Fogheart squeaked. Fogheart looked down, giving him a fond glance._

Mentor and apprentice? _Sootkit wondered, but other cats were volunteering as well._

"_And I'll be one from WindClan," the white she-cat said quickly._

"_Count me in for ShadowClan," growled the brown tabby._

"_And me for RiverClan," said a tortoiseshell. And so it went, until sixteen cats were standing and looking up at their leaders under the bright white moon._

_Redstar blinked down at his warriors, then flicked his tail. "You shall leave during leaf-bare, just as SkyClan did," he meowed. "Until then it will be your duties to devote yourselves to your Clans and prepare them for your absence. Your duties will continue right up until the day you leave. Understood?"_

_The warriors nodded, and Redstar glanced at the other leaders. "I think our Clan news is nothing compared to this development; the Gathering should end now."_

_The other leaders nodded in agreement, springing down from the rock and going to their Clans. Slowly, the Gathering split apart, into four groups. Sootkit watched Fogheart curiously, straining to hear as Redstar walked up to the silver-gray tom._

"_You know this was breaking the warrior code; conferring with the other Clans in secret, planning this movement, fetching SkyClan...all of it," Redstar growled. Fogheart nodded, meeting his leader's eyes firmly with his own._

"_I understand."_

"_Then understand this. You are taking my warriors and twelve others from this forest. The four Clans need every warrior during lead-bare, but because of you, they will not have them. If you are truly going to take this mission, you must understand the consequences. You and the others cannot return until you find SkyClan."_

_Fogheart's eyes narrowed. "And what if we cannot find them?"  
><em>

"_Then you have dragged these warriors away from their homes for a mission of folly," Redstar meowed, "and every death that occurs will be on your head alone. If you do not find SkyClan, you can never return to the forest."_

_Fogheart was quiet for a moment, before looking up at the sky; Sootkit could see the moon glowing in his blue eyes. Finally, he nodded. "I understand, Redstar. We will not return until we find SkyClan."_

_Sootkit strained to hear more, but the dream was fading away, until whiteness was all that she could see._

_. . ._

She felt herself waking up, slowly, and she quickly repeated her Moonkit-ritual, as she did every morning. And, as it happened every morning, she was not Moonkit when she opened her eyes.

It had been roughly half a moon since Firepaw and Leopardpaw had fought. Since then, she'd only dreamed of Chillpaw twice, and neither time had the dream gone beyond Silverstar's death. She was starting to think that perhaps that part of the dream had simply been that; a dream.

She yawned slowly, her pink tongue curling over itself, before she realized that Spiderkit was still asleep. A mischievous smile came over her face, as she realized that for once she could be the one poking _him _awake.

She reached out with one paw, before hesitating; the consequences would not be pretty.

"Do it and die," Spiderkit mewed groggily, his voice muffled by Ravenwing's fur. Quickly, Sootkit shrank back, and Spiderkit rolled over to blink at her.

"Ready to go and get Jaggedclaw his food?" Spiderkit asked tiredly. Sootkit rolled her eyes.

"I don't really want to, but I'm sure he's hungry by now," Sootkit mewed. She pawed Spiderkit's face playfully, then sprang away from him. "Come on, let's hurry so we'll have time to play a game or something."

Spiderkit nodded, following her to the fresh-kill pile; she grabbed a thrush from the pile and trotted over to Jaggedclaw's den without fear. Spiderkit found the pile of moss that the apprentices left for him each day; and, as always, Bluepaw came to help him with it.

"Morning, Spiderkit!" Sootkit heard Bluepaw purred brightly as she saw him. "How are you? Are you excited?"

"Excited about what?" Spiderkit asked curiously. Dropping the thrush at the entrance of the elder's den, Sootkit padded towards them.

"What are we supposed to be excited about?" she asked curiously. Bluepaw's eyes widened.

"Oh, oops! I guess I wasn't supposed to say anything yet. Sorry, guys! Forget I spoke!" she exclaimed, scooping up a mouthful of moss so she wouldn't speak again. Spiderkit frowned at her, unamused.

"What are we supposed to be excited about?" he demanded. Bluepaw's blue eyes danced, but she said nothing, simply flicking her tail for Spiderkit to pick up his moss. Grumbling, the black tom did so, following Sootkit and Bluepaw towards Jaggedclaw's den.

"Good morning, Jaggedclaw," Sootkit said, picking up the thrush once more. She poked her nose into the den, as Spiderkit shoved past her to make Jaggedclaw's new nest.

Jaggedclaw watched her with an emotionless eye, but Sootkit didn't waver, still smiling; after the first few days, it had become apparent that Jaggedclaw was not going to eat her, so she had become less afraid of him.

"I hear you two are moving up in life today," he growled, rising to his paws for a moment to allow Spiderkit to push the new nest underneath of him.

Spiderkit frowned. "What are you talking about? What's going on today? Bluepaw mentioned something too."

Jaggedclaw yawned. "You're being apprenticed today. But you didn't hear that from me." He rested his head on his broad paws, watching them. "You'll still be watching after me, though. The youngest apprentices are always the ones that do...like it's a punishment, or a duty..." He let out a low, bitter growl.

Sootkit, who had been grinning at Spiderkit about the news, sobered at the sour note in his voice. She felt a stirring of pity for the scarred tom.

"We don't think it's a punishment," she said quickly. "We like doing it. Right, Spiderkit?"

He glanced at her, and she nudged his shoulder, nearly sending him flying into the den wall.

"Right, we like it," Spiderkit growled through clenched teeth, glaring at her. Unsurprisingly, Jaggedclaw didn't look convinced.

"Go on," he meowed, flicking his tail at them. "Go become apprentices. I'll be here when you get back."

Spiderkit immediately left the den, but Sootkit hesitated for a moment, blinking at him anxiously. She recalled Bluepaw's words, how the medicine apprentice had wondered why elders even bothered living, knowing that they were a burden to the Clan.

"I don't think it's a punishment, really," she lied quietly. "I don't mind doing it."

"We'll see about that, when you're a warrior," Jaggedclaw meowed, his eye closing. "The only warrior who ever sets paw in here is Reedrush."

Sootkit's ears flattened, but she heard Spiderkit calling for her, and she left the den.

Spiderkit had already grabbed the two of them a vole.

"Petalcloud's still the only cat apprentice-less," Spiderkit said as he chewed. "I wonder how we'll both become warriors."

Sootkit glanced around for the calico she-cat, finally spotting her sharing tongues with Firepaw and Blackpaw. There was a certain excited air hanging around the she-cat, and she kept glancing over at the two kits before looking away quickly. Sootkit laughed quietly; Petalcloud was obviously proud ot be entrusted with an apprentice of her own.

"You'll probably get her, since you're both she-cats and stuff," Spiderkit said thoughtfully. "Maybe I'll get Darkstorm, since Firepaw's the closest to becoming a warrior." He wrinkled his nose at the thought, and Sootkit didn't blame him; the black warrior had never been able to look at either of them without flinching.

"I wonder if Firepaw's training would suffer, though, if Darkstorm had to look after you too?" Sootkit asked thoughtfully, nibbling on the vole. "I guess we'll have to wait and see."

"Hopefully it'll be soon," Spiderkit grumbled, glancing towards the BranchPile; there was no disguising the eagerness in his gaze. He quickly licked his whiskers, and pushed what remained of the vole towards her. She stared at it, her stomach churning; she was too excited to eat anymore.

"Sootkit! Spiderkit!" they head Ravenwing call. They exchanged glances, both smiling slightly, before running over to their mother.

"I have a surprise for you!" Ravenwing purred, her green eyes glowing as she beamed down at her kits.

"Are we becoming apprentices?" Spiderkit guessed, amusement glittering in his green eyes. Ravenwing's smile seemed to grow even larger.

"Yes, darlings! Your father is holding the ceremony when he gets back from patrolling. Come here, I've got to make the two of you look presentable." She grabbed Spiderkit before he could get away, rasping her tongue over his slick fur. He finally managed to get out of her grasp, and Sootkit quickly flattened a patch of hair on his shoulder that was still sticking up, before Ravenwing grabbed her as well.

Sootkit purred underneath her mother's touch, feeling as though she was glowing with happiness.

_We're going to be apprentices, and have mentors, and go on patrols, and hunt and fight and fish and play...and sleep in the apprentice den..._She blinked, as it occurred to her for the first time that she would no longer be sleeping with Ravenwing, not until she began a warrior. She craned her neck to look up at the black she-cat, feeling what was almost a pang of longing; what would it be like, not to have her mother's warm, milk-scented fur?

She felt a prickle of anxiety, but it was again replaced by excitement as Ravenwing released her.

"As clean as you'll ever be, I suppose," Ravenwing mewed, before giving them both a gentle nuzzle. "I love you, you know that?"

"Of course," Sootkit purred. Spiderkit only grunted, but his green eyes were almost gentle as he stared up at his mother.

"Oh, there's Eaglestrike! Go on, he's going to start the ceremony!" Ravenwing nosed the two of them forwards, towards the BranchPile. They both sat down beneath it, eyes glowing with excitement. Sootkit glanced at her brother, seeing his green gaze fixed to the top of the BranchPile, as their father climbed it. A thrill of excitement raced through Sootkit; someday, she would be the one on the great pile, looking down on her Clan and giving ceremonies. She let out a purr at the thought, before becoming silent as her father began to speak.

He let out a yowl, calling the Clan together. Sootkit saw Spiderkit's head turn; he seemed to be looking towards the elder's den. She glanced over, following his gaze; Jaggedclaw was sitting in the entrance, his head resting on his great paws.

"Sootkit, Spiderkit, you are both six moons old today, and therefore of apprenticing age," Eaglestrike meowed, as the Clan gathered to watch. Sootkit looked for Petalcloud, spotting her in the crowd, staring up at Eaglestrike with excitement glowing in her amber eyes.

"From this day forward, until you earn your warrior names, you will be known as Spiderpaw and Sootpaw. I ask StarClan to look over you and watch you until you find in your paws the strength and courage of true warriors." He stared down at his kits, his yellow eyes gentle with pride.

"Petalcloud, You received excellent training from the Clan to earn your warrior name, and you have shown yourself to be compassionate and loyal. You will be the mentor of Spiderpaw, and I trust you to pass on all you know to him."

Spiderpaw's eyes widened with disbelief, and he turned to see his new mentor padding towards him. She was smiling, then hesitated, seeing the anger blazing in his green eyes.

_Father was hoping that her kind nature could ease his sharp tongue, _Sootpaw guessed, _but now Spiderpaw thinks he gave him a she-cat for a mentor because he's weak..._

Petalcloud reached down to touch Spiderpaw's nose; he didn't move, but he did not turn away from her. He glared up at his father, black fur bristling, undoing all of Ravenwing's careful licking. Petalcloud looked nervous, but she looked up to Eaglestrike as well, waiting to see who Sootpaw's mentor would be.

"Sootpaw," Eaglestrike meowed, ignoring Spiderpaw's furious gaze, "you have worked hard this past half moon, sharing apprentice duties with your brother. I did not want to deprive you of being an apprentice with him, or holding you both back. At this moment, there is no cat available to be your mentor."

Sootpaw's eyes widened; what was going to happen? Would she only have her apprentice name, but still be treated as a kit?

"However, this is not unprecedented," Eaglestrike continued quickly. "In a moon's time, Firepaw and Blackpaw will be made warriors, if they are ready. Then, Reedrush will be your mentor. Until then, you will take turns training with the other apprentices and their mentors. In some ways, this training will be most valuable of all, because every cat has both strengths and weaknesses; by having many cats able to train you, you will learn many unique strategies and enhance your own skills."

Sootpaw's ears flattened; at that moment, the one thing she wanted in the world was to touch noses with her own mentor. She glanced at Spiderpaw, but he wasn't looking at her.

Eaglestrike flicked his tail, concluding the ceremony. Quickly, Ravenwing yowled,

"Sootpaw! Spiderpaw!"

The rest of the Clan quickly joined in, but Sootpaw's pelt prickled uncomfortably, as if she had sat in a pile of nettles.

_I just wanted a mentor, _she thought. _And now Spiderkit – no, Spiderpaw – is mad at Dad...Why couldn't I have gotten Petalcloud? I mean, I know I'm not small...or fast...or gentle...or agile, like she is...like Spiderpaw is..._She sighed quietly; all of that was exactly why Spiderpaw had received Petalcloud instead of her.

Eaglestrike sprang down from the BranchPile, smiling down at his kits. His smile faltered, as he saw Spiderpaw's crackling anger and Sootpaw's quiet sadness.

"Now, look you two, you might not be happy about this, and I understand that," he meowed. "But we simply don't have many available mentors. Petalcloud will be a good match for you, Spiderpaw; she's gentle, and fast, and she can stand up to your insults without growing angry with you, as a cat like Stormshadow would have done."

"But she's weak! I want a strong mentor, someone powerful!" Spiderpaw spat. Eaglestrike gave him a stern look.

"You will be respectful to your mentor, do you understand? Or apprentice duties will be the least of your worries," he growled. "Go on, now. She's waiting at the camp entrance for you, to show you the territory, just like you always wanted."

Spiderpaw glowered, but he obediently stalked towards his mentor. He ignored her completely, padding out of camp without a word. Petalcloud shot Eaglestrike an anxious look – this obviously wasn't what she had envisioned when she pictured herself as a mentor – before hurrying after him.

"What about me?" Sootpaw asked quietly. "Who do I go with?"

Eaglestrike licked her head gently. "Reedrush already volunteered," he said. "It's only for a moon, Sootpaw, then you'll have your mentor, okay? I promise."

Sootpaw's yellow eyes remained downcast. "I wanted to see the territory with Spiderpaw...and you," she said sadly. Eaglestrike smiled wistfully.

"I'd love to, Sootpaw, but I'm afraid I'm too busy; I've got patrols to arrange, business to sort out...we're still scenting an odd rogue scent in the territory, you know, and it has me worried..." He shook his head. "When I have time, we can see the territory together, even go hunting. I can show you a few things."

She brightened. "Promise?"

"Cross my tail and hope to die," Eaglestrike purred. "Now, go on. Don't keep Reedrush waiting, okay? You'll like her, I promise."

Sootpaw nodded, turning towards the camp entrance; sure enough, Reedrush was waiting there, with Blackpaw at her side.

"Congratulations, Sootpaw!" Blackpaw mewed shyly as she drew nearer.

"Yes, congratulations on becoming an apprentice," Reedrush purred. "I look forward to training you."

Sootpaw only nodded. "Are we going to see the Pool of Stars?" she asked. Reedrush blinked, looking puzzled.

"No, Sootpaw. We don't go over the river; that's PeakClan's side of the territory, and they tend to get rather protective of it. Apprentices do visit the Pool of Stars once before becoming apprentices, but you've got a ways to go before you're ready for that; it comes near the end of the apprenticeship."

"I'm going the day after tomorrow, at the half moon, with the medicine cats, since Firepaw and I are so close to being warriors," Blackpaw said with a smile.

"Not if you don't practice your battle moves," Reedrush growled, but her green gaze was fond as she looked down at the black apprentice. Then, she flicked her tail. "Hurry up now, let's go." She turned, padding out of camp; Sootpaw hesitated, casting one last glance in her father's direction, but he was no longer there. She saw the tip of his gray tail disappearing into Silverstar's den. Swallowing, she turned, loping after Reedrush and Blackpaw.

Reedrush padded towards the river quickly; Sootpaw had to hurry to keep up, but with her long strides it wasn't difficult. Blackpaw was quiet, her ears pricked and swiveling, picking up the noises of the forest.

"Reedrush, do you mind if I hunt?" she asked. "There's a blackbird nearby."

Reedrush paused, listening, then let out a low purr. "I didn't even notice, Blackpaw. Well done. Go ahead, then, but don't eat it."

Blackpaw nodded, falling into a crouch. Sootpaw watched with interest as Blackpaw disappeared into the thick brush.

She heard a loud rustle and the sound of a twig snapping, and found herself hoping that Blackpaw had caught it; she didn't want the older apprentice to be embarassed. When Blackpaw returned, a black-feathered bird was clamped in her jaws.

Reedrush gave her an encouraging nod, and Blackpaw quickly buried it.

"Did you see that crouch?" Reedrush asked Sootpaw. "Do you know how to do it?"

Sootpaw blinked; she hadn't really been paying attention to the crouch itself, only Blackpaw's smooth movements.

"Do it again, Blackpaw," Reedrush ordered with a flick of her tail. Obediently, Blackpaw crouched once more.

"Birds have excellent eyesight, and most have good hearing," Reedrush meowed, "but what is their weakness?"

Mystified, Sootpaw glanced at Blackpaw.

"Scenting," Blackpaw meowed. "Birds can't scent worth a mousetail."

Reedrush nodded. "So, making sure you are concealed is very important. You need to get as close to a bird as you can without them seeing you; they can take flight in an instant, and if you aren't close and fast enough you cannot catch them. Don't worry about being down or upwind, it doesn't matter, so long as you are not seen or heard by them."

Sootpaw glanced down at her clumsy, heavy paws, and her ears flattened; it sounded like hunting would be difficult.

Reedrush flicked her tail again, and the three of them continued. Sootpaw blinked at the river, still flowing slightly over its banks. The churning white water grabbed her gaze and held it, and she shuddered as she remembered her near-drowning, the feeling of water gushing into her nose and mouth, the utter helplessness as the water tossed her about.

"It smells like your brother went downstream, so let's go upstream, then," Reedrush meowed. She stared walking again, and Sootpaw tore her gaze away from the river, hurrying to keep up.

"Do you smell that?" Reedrush asked as they walked. "It's PeakClan's scent. Memorize it; it's one of the only scents you'll have to know in this forest. There aren't many dangers here, although there is a rogue skulking around here somewhere...be careful, or it might get you."

Blackpaw's ears flattened, and she looked nervous, but Sootpaw was faintly excited at the idea of confronting a rogue on their territory.

_I'd chase him off, and then everyone would see that I was tough, _she thought. _All the mentors would be begging me to be their apprentice then!_

"Now, sometimes fish lurk in the shallows of the river," Reedrush meowed. "That's most useful in leaf-bare, although it helps in early new-leaf too. Blackpaw, you remember that."

Blackpaw nodded. "You helped show everyone how to hunt."

Reedrush nodded. "Most of the ex-BirchClan warriors didn't know how," she explained over her shoulder. "And then Bramblethorn was a kittypet before he joined up, and Darkstorm was practically useless, so he didn't know how to either. Stormshadow did also, but Petalcloud didn't. Brightfire and Rainsplash both knew how since they were from ShellClan, but they died in the battle...you never met them, Sootpaw. They were good cats."

"Brightfire is Robinpaw and Jaypaw's father, right?" Sootpaw asked curiously. "He's in StarClan now?"

Reedrush nodded. "They both died fighting Blight's warriors in the big battle. PeakClan lost a lot of cats that day too, including their deputy, Sandpelt."

"And now...Northstar's deputy?" Sootpaw asked cautiously, trying to remember correctly. "Ravenwing says that he and Silverstar used to be enemies, a long time ago."

Reedrush nodded. "They hated each other, but during the battle they had to join forces. I guess things are probably still a bit tense between them, but they have an understanding now. Northstar doesn't do much, that I can see anyway, to harm us. Not that he's a total daisy or anything, don't get that idea at all. Without him, we would have never won the battle against Lion."

Sootpaw thought of Lion, the legendary rogue; Ravenwing said that he was easily twice as large as she was, although Sootpaw couldn't imagine it. He was supposedly even bigger than Jaggedclaw, with a torn ear and mad amber eyes.

_He was Chillpaw's father, _she thought. _He's the reason Chillpaw tried to kill Silverstar..._She shivered at the thought of her dream, despite the fact that the morning was relatively warm.

_Lion was a rogue...so I don't know where he went. But Chillpaw was a Clan cat, wasn't he? He had a Clan name, at least...Does that mean he went to StarClan? No, he was a bad cat...but where do cats go, if not to StarClan?_

_Ravenwing used to tell stories, of somewhere...but I can't remember what it's call,ed now..._

She blinked, realizing that Reedrush was still talking about fish. She tried to pay attention, listening to Reedrush talking about hiding her shadow when over the water, and flipping fish onto the bank, but she was too distracted for anything to really stick in her mind.

Reedrush stopped as they reached a small stream, which branched away from the river. "This is the Black Stream; it goes all the way to the Thunderpath," Reedrush meowed. "Technically, our territory extends farther than this stream, but this is usually where we stay; too much territory is kind of useless if it's too hard to patrol, and the stream is a pretty obvious border to anyone passing through."

She began following the stream, with the apprentices far behind. Ahead of them, Sootpaw could hear a strange sound, almost like a roaring.

"If we turned to the left and kept walking, we'd find the Moss Clearing," Reedrush meowed after several minutes. "That's where the apprentices train for battle. Blackpaw, when we're finished with this and you bring your bird back, that's where we'll be headed."

The black apprentice nodding dutifully, and they continued.

The strange noises began growing louder, and as Sootpaw saw the Thunderpath rising in the distance, she realized the sounds were caused by monsters roaring over the sticky black path.

"That's the Thunderpath, obviously," Reedrush said. "It's extremely dangerous, so keep away from it. If you need to go to the marsh for some reason, use the tunnel. It's gross, and you'll get your paws wet, but it's the safest way."

Sootpaw blinked slowly, as she realized this was where Jaggedclaw had been almost fatally injured by a monster. Pain clouded Reedrush's eyes for a moment, but she quickly shook herself.

They continued to walk, but Sootpaw noted that Reedrush kept her distance from the Thunderpath, leaving the Black Stream slightly early. Sootpaw was becoming fatigued; even when she and Spiderpaw and attempted to sneak out of camp and find the Moss Clearing, she hadn't walked as much as she had today.

Reedrush stopped, and Sootpaw let out a sigh of relief, thinking that they would be resting, but she simply glanced over her shoulder at Blackpaw, a questioning look in her eyes.

Blackpaw sniffed the air. "I think we're about to meet up with Petalcloud and Spiderpaw," the black apprentice mewed. Reedrush nodded, and sure enough, Sootpaw could hear Spiderpaw crashing through the brush. He was coming from slightly to the right; Petalcloud had dared to go slightly closer to the Thunderpath.

"Petalcloud!" Reedrush called, padding towards her. The calico she-cat appeared, her pelt looking slightly ruffled. Spiderpaw appeared beside her after a moment. Sootpaw smiled at him, and he simply stared back. He didn't look happy, exactly, but apparently finally seeing the territory had mellowed him out a bit. Sootpaw could see the relief shining in Petalcloud's amber eyes, and felt a pang of sympathy; the calico she-cat really had no idea what she had gotten herself into with her new apprentice.

Blackpaw touched muzzles with Petalcloud, purring. "We've been showing Sootpaw everything! I even showed her how to crouch for birds!"

Petalcloud purred, licking her head. "You're practically mentoring her yourself then, aren't you?"

Blackpaw nodded, her yellow eyes glowing happily.

"Spiderpaw really wants to see the Moss Clearing, so we're taking a detour there," Petalcloud meowed.

"We're just going the opposite way; we'll probably stop by GreenRocks," Reedrush meowed. Petalcloud nodded, then glanced at Spiderpaw. "Do you want to say anything to your sister?"

He shook his head, eyes gleaming; Sootpaw knew how much he had always wanted to see the apprentice clearing, how he had envisioned himself beating opponents within it. Sootpaw only smiled at him, and Petalcloud dipped her head to Reedrush in farewell, before leading her apprentice away.

The group continued, and Reedrush showed Sootpaw GreenRocks, as she had said she would – the rocks were all much larger than Sootpaw had imagined, and she had to fight the urge to try and climb them – before they began heading home.

Blackpaw stopped to dig up her catch, before the group padded back to camp.

"There, was that so bad?" Reedrush asked, purring gently as they entered camp. "I'm sure Jaggedclaw is hungry again. Blackpaw, I'll take your blackbird."

Obediently, Blackpaw passed the bird to her mentor. Reedrush gave Sootpaw a little nod, before padding away to the elder's den. Sootpaw watched curiously as Reedrush sat just outside the entrance, forcing Jaggedclaw to come outside. She blinked with surprise, realizing that the two of them were sharing tongues.

"They were friends for a long time," Blackpaw said quietly, seeing Sootpaw's curiosity. "Reedrush...really likes him. She didn't desert him, even after he became an elder."

"Are they mates?" Sootpaw asked, cocking her head to one side, still feeling puzzled. Blackpaw shook her head.

"I don't think so. I mean, they don't act like mates...but Reedrush...well, that's her business. When she becomes your mentor, maybe she'll tell you about it."

Sootpaw nodded slowly. "Hopefully you'll be a warrior soon, then," she said, giving Blackpaw a smile. To her surprise, the black she-cat's ears flattened.

"We'll see," she said quietly. "My fighting skills still need some work."

Sootpaw touched her shoulder with her gray tail. "I'm sure you'll be a great warrior, don't worry."

Blackpaw gave her a grateful glance, before flicking her tail to the fresh-kill pile. "Hungry?"

. . .

She jolted awake, eyes wide, her vision slowly adjusting to the moonlight streaming through the entrance of the den. She sat up, panting slightly, then frowned; what exactly had woken her up? She'd been having a dream...a strange dream, but not one of the special ones; she was always able to remember those. All she could remember from this dream was fangs, bright fangs...just a nightmare, then.

She yawned slowly, resting her head on her paws; she could feel Spiderpaw shifting in his sleep on one side. On her other side was Robinpaw, Frostfeather's injured daughter.

Sootpaw yawned and closed her eyes, trying to fall back to sleep, but her mind was awake and buzzing. She found herself opening her eyes again, staring out of the den entrance. Above, the sky was a pale, fuzzy gray; it was almost dawn.

Her head rose slowly. _I could volunteer to be on the dawn patrol, _she thought. _Maybe I could learn a few more things then._

Excited by the idea, and knowing that she would have trouble falling asleep again, Sootpaw crept towards the entrance of the den, careful not to wake any of the other apprentices. She poked her head out of the den, and then froze as she caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye. Glancing towards it, she blinked in surprise, seeing a tabby shape emerging from Silverstar's den.

_Forestheart, _she thought, and she felt a prickle of awe run through her pelt; Forestheart was widely known for his compassion and optimism. He was also partially the reason that AshClan had won the battle against Lion; it was thanks to Forestheart that Cane and Amber had fought on their side.

Forestheart was speaking quietly, and Sootpaw pricked her ears, trying to hear.

"Come on, Silverstar, hurry. The dawn patrol will be up before you're even out of camp!" His voice was slight, with a faint purr to it.

Sootpaw saw the shine of silver fur in the moonlight, but most of Silverstar's body was obscured by Forestheart's. She frowned, trying to get a better view, only to realize that the two cats were headed for the entrance of camp.

Curiosity tickled her paws, and she hesitated; she knew they weren't part of the dawn patrol, and it wasn't her place to follow them...but at the same time, curiosity drove her forwards. Before she knew it, she was on her paws, creeping forward in a crouch that was similar to Blackpaw's bird-hunting technique.

She followed the two cats out of camp, keeping track of their scent while trying to stay out of sight. They were headed for the river, and she frowned; why were they going there? What was Silverstar doing? Were they going to the Pool of Stars, or trying to cross onto PeakClan's territory?

Their scent suddenly grew stronger in her nose, and she realized that they had stopped. She quickly moved to hide behind a large bush, poking her nose through the leaves.

She could see Silverstar's back now; her long, thick fur was well-groomed, but Sootpaw had a feeling that it was Forestheart doing the grooming. Forestheart's pelt touched hers, and his striped tail was laid over her fluffy silver tail gently.

"I miss them," she heard Silverstar whisper; she was looking up at the stars. Forestheart's eyes were focused on the river, watching the star's dance on the water's surface, but as she spoke he turned to look upwards as well.

"I know," he said quietly, and he moved to tuck her head against his chest, underneath his muzzle. "Isn' there any way they could have...gone up?"

Silverstar shook her head, and Sootpaw saw her almost seem to melt against the tom's side. "I don't think so...hers didn't, so mine..." Her voice seemed to catch, and Sootpaw realized she was trembling.

Sootpaw's ears burned; whatever she had been expecting, it wasn't this private, pain-filled moment. She wanted to move back, but she knew her clumsy paws would almost certainly snap a twig, and she would be exposed. She remained motionless, the chilly dew seeping into her fur.

"We could always try again," Forestheart meowed into her ear. Silverstar pulled away from him.

"What if it happens again?"

"No one will betray you again, princess. You've got a Clan full of loyal warriors." He swiped his tail gently over her flank.

"Eaglestrike just let that rogue in...he didn't even ask me." Silverstar seemed uncertain, and for the first time Sootpaw saw her face; her eyes were an icy blue, set in a pretty silver face. Sootpaw had always imagined them to be piercing, clear, but these blue eyes were dull and clouded by pain and uncertainty.

"I know." A slight growl had entered Forestheart's voice. "I wasn't happy about it either. But Leopardpaw hasn't done anything suspicious."

"Neither did Chillpaw."

"Chillpaw was practically raised by Lion," Forestheart reminded her. "We don't know where Leopardpaw came from. Probably just from the Twolegplace. The only enemy we have there is Carmelo, and he's busy building up his forces against Amber. He doesn't have any reason to try and hurt you."

Silverstar's ears flattened. "Being a leader...it's too dangerous. I couldn't ever take that risk again, Forestheart. They didn't deserve that...they never had a chance..." She bowed her head, and Forestheart moved to press his pelt against hers again, shielding her face from view.

"Okay. I can wait, Silverstar, until you feel better about all this again. But you know me...I'm persistant." His voice was gentle, but firm. "You can't let this hold you back forever. I know it hurts, and I know that you miss them, but you've got to move on. Accidents happen, but no cat in AshClan wants to betray you now. You built this Clan, princess. They're depending on you. Don't let them down."

Silverstar sighed quietly. "I'm tired, Forestheart. The dawn patrol will be leaving soon; let's go back."

Sootpaw tensed, realizing that the two warriors would be walking right past her. She was sure that Silverstar would be too distracted to notice her, but would Forestheart?

She crouched down more, flattening herself against the ground and trying to use the bush as a shield. She heard them drawing closer, and put her paws over her eyes, unable to look, trembling with fright; she could only imagine the trouble she would be in if she was found.

Their paw steps approached, and then stopped for a moment; she felt as though her heart would stop beating as Forestheart sniffed the air uncertainly. Then, slowly, the paw steps faded away.

_The morning dew concealed my scent, _she realized, and sent a quick, fervently thankful prayer to StarClan.

She waited for several long moments, before slowly creeping out of her hiding place and bounding back to camp. It wasn't until she curled up beside Spiderpaw once more and heard him let out a hiss as their pelts touched that she realized she was still wet with dew.

**AN: Firepaw was a "floater" in the original series, like Soot is now. He didn't get Bluestar as a mentor until later.**

**Also, since Soot/Spider/Leopard have their own bios now, I'm taking requests. If there's a charrie you want to see, just mention it in a review, and I'll get around to it~**

**Cryptic conversations? Yes please!**

**Enjoy the early update again, DUCKLINGS. Summer vacation = lots of extra time~**


	6. C h a p t e r 5

**AN: After Sootpaw's latest dream, you guys have been asking about what time this story takes place. Assuming that Fear roamed for two years before finding the forest where the Pride staked a claim, plus another year for Lightning to build up his own cats, that means Snatched started three years after Shattered. Using the timeline on the Warriors Wikia, that places the beginning of Shattered about when Bluestar was nine moons old (so I was wrong before, when I said Bluestar probably wasn't born; it was close, though). Chilled began five and a half moons after that, so about when Snowfur was expecting her first litter in BP. Sootpaw's SkyClan-related dream took place exactly a year after SkyClan was originally banished, which was in what was called "ancient times" by the cats in FQ. So, obviously the cats in Sootpaw's dream have been dead for a _long _time.**

**C_ h a p t e r _5**

"Spiderpaw, please listen to me," Petalcloud meowed, exasperated. "You can't just try to tackle me, okay? I'm not very big, but I'm still bigger than you. You've got a lot of potential speed, but you're wasting it. You can't knock me down-" She broke off as he charged towards her again, side-stepping him easily. But he was ready for her move and turned quickly, reaching with outstretched paws to try and trip her as he turned. She was ready for _his _move, however, springing back out of his reach and frowning at him.

His fur ruffled as he stared at her, eyes narrowed.

"You have to learn the basic moves, before you try to develop your own style," Petalcloud mewed. "Now, I can't stop you from trying to tackle cats that are larger than you, but at least allow me to show you some of the basic moves, like the back kick. Here, watch."

Spiderpaw blinked as Petalcloud lifted her back legs into the air, relying on her front paws to keep her standing. She prepared to kick, and he quickly moved forwards, ducking underneath her to hit at her front paws, unbalancing her. She regained her balance on the in the nick of time, and glared at him.

"Spiderpaw, we aren't sparring! I'm just trying to show you these moves!" she growled. Spiderpaw was amused; he had finally seemed to make her angry. They'd been training for hours, and he had been pointedly disobeying everything she'd said; he was curious to see just how much it would take before she went over the edge. It seemed that he had finally reached that point.

"I don't want to learn a bunch of stupid moves," he replied, "I want to learn how to _fight."_

"Well, this is part of that, okay?" Her gaze gentled, and his ears flattened; he wasn't as close to her breaking point as he had thought. "I understand that you want to be a good warrior and fight well. I'm sure you want to show up the other apprentices. But you have to learn the basics before you can do anything flashy, okay? Just let me teach you the basics, and then we can work together to create your own, personal fighting style."

Spiderpaw blinked at her slowly, feigning thoughtfulness. "I see," he meowed. Then, suddenly, hoping that she would be caught off guard he dashed forwards, paws outstretched. His eyes widened as Petalcloud reared onto her hind legs, batting him away with her front paws. He sprang again, and this time she balanced on her front paws, kicking out with her back legs as she had just demonstrated moments before. He couldn't change direction in midair; her legs caught him squarely in the chest, and he fell down with a thud, the wind knocked out of his small body. He struggled to rise to his paws, only to find Petalcloud pinning him down in seconds.

She stared down at him, amber gaze burning. "Now, listen here," she spat. "I was always the nice mother, when it was just Swansong and myself. But after Swansong died, I had to become the disciplinarian, and you are _nothing _compared to Firepaw. So I can either be a nice, kind mentor and help you on your way, or I can make the rest of our time together absolutely miserable. This is the first time I've truly been trusted with anything, and I'm not going to let the deputy's spoiled little kit mess that up for me, okay?"

Spiderpaw stared up at her, his eyes wide with surprise; even when he had been egging Petalcloud on, he hadn't thought that there was this much anger and desperation behind her sweet exterior.

"O-okay," he stammered. Petalcloud nodded, and let him up; he rose to his paws slowly, watching her with caution.

"Now," Petalcloud said, a smile curling her muzzle once more, "were you watching that back-kick of mine? I executed it perfectly, and it obviously worked very well. Do you see the value of such a move now, hmm? Would you like to learn how to do it?"

Spiderpaw hesitated, weighing his curiosity and his arrogance; which was more important to him? Finally, he swallowed his pride, and nodded slowly.

"I'd very much like to learn that move, Petalcloud," he said softly. Petalcloud's eyes glimmered gently at him, and she smiled.

"That's what I like to hear."

. . .

"How's your training going?" Sootpaw asked, blinking at him over the body of their shared jay. He glanced up at her, shrugged, and took another bite.

"Nothing much to say," he meowed, thinking of his training with Petalcloud. "What about you?"

Her ears flattened. "I haven't been out all day," she admitted. "Everyone's just too busy...even Reedrush...they don't have time to take care of me when they have other apprentices to look out for..." She sighed softly. "You're lucky to have Petalcloud."

"Yeah. Lucky that our dad thinks of me as a puny weakling," Spiderpaw growled.

Sootpaw frowned at him, and Spiderpaw glanced over his shoulder, seeing Petalcloud; his mentor was off to the side eating alone.

_They must really all be busy, _Spiderpaw realized, _there's hardly anyone here in camp at all._

"You could always train with Petalcloud today," he said slyly. Sootpaw's eyes gleamed.

"Really? You wouldn't mind too much?"

Spiderpaw gave a small shrug. "We all have to make sacrifices, I suppose...although you owe me," he said quickly. Sootpaw nodded.

"Should I ask her? Right now?"

"I would," Spiderpaw advised. "Before something else comes up and she has to go...or something..."

Sootpaw grinned at him. "Thanks, Spiderpaw!" she purred, springing to her paws and racing towards the calico she-cat. Petalcloud looked surprised to be approached; she glanced at Spiderpaw, and he quickly looked away, focusing on his meal. Spiderpaw glanced back at the two of them after a few moments, and smiled as he saw Petalcloud leading Sootpaw out of camps.

_Two mice with one strike, _he thought smugly, and finished off the rest of their meal.

He yawned slowly, wondering what to do with the rest of his day. The tip of his ear twitched as he glanced over the camp, only to prick as he heard cats approaching. He turned, blinking as Frostfeather, Leopardpaw, Stormshadow, and Jaypaw entered camp; they must have been on a patrol together.

His eyes narrowed. _Some training with Stormshadow would be way more useful than what Petalcloud can teach me! _He thought. He rose to his paws, only to see that Stormshadow was heading for the warrior's den. His ears flattened; all he wanted to do was train with a strong cat.

Then, he turned towards the other apprentices; it would be a good idea to size up his skills, compared to the rest of them. He wanted to see how he could measure up now, so he knew how much farther he had to go.

"Jaypaw," he purred, ignoring Leopardpaw entirely; he saw her bristle, but paid no attention. "Do you want to spar with me?"

Jaypaw looked dubious. "Didn't you learn anything from sparring with Firepaw, Spiderpaw?" he asked. "Besides, you were just made an apprentice yesterday. A little early, don't you think...?"

"Come on, I just want to practice," Spiderpaw said impatiently. "We can go to the Moss Clearing, if you'd rather."

Jaypaw looked uncertain; Spiderpaw gave him an almost playful nudge, reminding the gray apprentice of when they had been kits together; when Jaypaw's only concern had been when to eat, sleep, and play.

Then, Jaypaw sighed. "I'm really sorry, Spiderpaw. I'd really like to, but..." He shook his head. "Stormshadow's training really wore me out today...he's a really, ah, forceful mentor. I'm honestly really tired...sorry, Spiderpaw. Maybe some other day."

"I'll spar with you," Leopardpaw said quietly. Spiderpaw glanced towards her, irritated by the smirk curling her muzzle. The fur on his shoulders bristled, but he could hardly turn her down now.

"Fine," he snapped, flicking his tail impatiently. "Come on," he meowed, as he padded towards the camp entrance. Leopardpaw followed him.

The sounds of the forest quickly filled Spiderpaw's ears; it took him a minute to realize that he could not hear Leopardpaw's pawsteps at all. He wanted to pause and listen more closely, but she would probably run into him like an idiot. Instead, he swiveled one ear back towards her, trying to pick up the sound of her paws hitting the soft, dark earth. He could not.

His fur prickled uncomfortably. _No wonder we didn't catch her before she saved Sootpaw. All she had to do was roll in ferns to hide her scent, and she was practically undetectable..._

Glancing over his shoulder, he blinked again; there was a clear path where he had trodden, but there was almost nothing to show any sign of where Leopardpaw had gone. Distracted, he bumped into a low-hanging branch. Leopardpaw laughed loudly, and prickling with embarrassment, Spiderpaw quickly turned his attention back to the path.

_She must be hard to track, too, without leaving signs of her path...but that didn't come naturally to her, right? Who taught her that? Someone had to have trained her before she found us...but if she came from Twolegplace, how did she learn that sort of thing for the forest?_

It didn't take them long to reach the Moss Clearing; Spiderpaw knew his way there now, unlike his first excursion as a kit. He blinked at the clearing for a long moment, marveling at the thick carpet of moss – Ravenwing told him that it had all been scorched away by the fire, but apparently it had grown back even thicker than before. Even in the heat of greenleaf, the moss was all a deep, thick green color, several shades darker than his own eyes.

"Well, come on now," Leopardpaw purred. "No reason to stall, right? Unless you're scared?" Her green eyes glittered at him, and he bristled.

"Of course I'm not scared," he growled. "This will be over in moments."

Her whiskers twitched. "Indeed."

They padded towards the center of the clearing, before squaring off against one another; Spiderpaw crouched, but just as she had against Firepaw, Leopardpaw did not.

"Go ahead," she meowed, her green eyes narrowed slightly; they seemed to almost glow, and Spiderpaw knew that the dappled she-cat was completely focused. "You can take the first move."

Spiderpaw's tail twitched cautiously. Was she actually helping him, by giving him the first move?

_She probably thinks I'm weak, _he thought, and his eyes narrowed. _Well. I'll show her._

His tail flicked again, as he sized her up; Leopardpaw watched him, looking almost bored as he hesitated, trying to figure out what would be the best move.

Finally, he lunged forwards. Leopardpaw smiled, rearing onto her hind paws to crash down on him. He quickly slithered underneath her, striking at her back legs with his front paws. She stumbled, nearly falling, but regained her balance within moments and turned to face him.

_She's fast, and her balance is good, _he thought. _She has to have good balance, to slink around the way she does-_

The thought broke off as she sprang towards him; he barely managed to get out of the way in time. She landed smoothly, turning to spring again. Again, he barely managed to avoid her outstretched paws.

_I can't spend the whole time running away from her!_

When Leopardpaw sprang again, Spiderpaw sprang as well, paws outstretched to meet hers; she batted him away as if he was no more than a mouse. He rolled several tail-lengths, before springing to his paws and spitting. Leopardpaw grinned at him.

"You don't weigh enough to try and hit me!" she laughed. "Fight like you actually have some brains in that hot head of yours!"

Spiderpaw snarled, but this time he didn't try to hit her squarely. He feinted to the left, striking to the right, hitting her shoulder. She was knocked off balance, but again recovered quickly, turning to meet him.

_She's too fast! Whenever I try to do anything, she's just waiting for me! I've got to block that, somehow...if I could just get her onto her side, then her balance and speed would be useless...I've got to trip her up._

Emboldened by the idea, he leaped once more, but she blocked him easily with her shoulder, sending him tumbling to the ground.

_Come on! I've got to be faster!_

"Come on now, give me a real battle!" Leopardpaw spat. "You're tiny, but you walk like your paws are made of stones! Use your size to your advantage, instead of thinking of it as a handicap!"

Spiderpaw's eyes blazed at the insult, and he dashed forwards, feinting to the left while striking to the right again. She was ready for him, but not for what he did next; instead of striking her shoulder, he sprang into the air. Just as he had expected, Leopardpaw had been reaching out to trip him up, her favorite move; he landed squarely on her back, his tail brushing her ears and her fluffy tail tickling his nose. He dug in his claws to hang on, and heard her hiss underneath of him, but he didn't care.

_Come on, now, _he thought. _Get me off of here. Just try it!_

She reared onto her hind legs, the only counter to this move, preparing to crash down onto her back. Spiderpaw sprang off of her back, landing neatly on his front paws. For a moment, he almost seemed to hang there, balancing on his front paws as Leopardpaw fell backwards; then, he kicked his back legs with explosive force, just as Petalcloud had taught him. Leopardpaw was already off balance, and as she was snapped forwards, she couldn't recover in time. She let out a loud huff as her muzzle hit the dirt.

Spiderpaw grinned, triumphant. "Think I'm weak now, do you?" he meowed, racing to Leopardpaw's front. "Think I'm tiny? Useless? Thick-skulled?" He planted his paw on her muzzle. Leopardpaw didn't move; her eyes were closed, and her breathing almost had a strange rasp to it.

_Did I hurt her neck, when my kick caused her body to fly forwards? _Spiderpaw wondered, feeling a tremor of anxiety flutter in his stomach. "Leopardpaw?"

Her green eyes suddenly shot open, and before Spiderpaw could react, she had turned her head, opening her jaws. Spiderpaw let out a yelp of pain as her jaws closed around his paw. Leopardpaw rose to her paws, taking Spiderpaw's with her. He tottered, unbalanced, and her eyes gleamed brightly. She released his paw and leaped forward in one fluid motion, her paws hitting his shoulders and knocking him to the ground.

"Nice back-kick," she meowed, grinning down at him. "But I guess you're still not as strong or smart as me." Her eyes glittered, and she smiled smugly down at him. Spiderpaw's face burned with embarrassment. He struggled, but Leopardpaw was too big for him to get away. The moss tickled his nose, and he finally went limp.

_You just wait, _he thought. _When I'm big, then I'll be the one pinning _you _down. And there won't be a thing you can do about it, because I'll be huge! And then I'll beat you, because I'll be super-fast too!_

"Let me go," he growled. Leopardpaw almost seemed thoughtful.

"You know, I'm almost feeling sleepy," she said with a small yawn. "Perhaps I'll just curl up here, and rest awhile..."

Spiderpaw let out a growl, and Leopardpaw rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You're not worth my time anyway, little spider." She let him up, and Spiderpaw scrambled to his paws, ready to swipe his claws over her nose for the insult. But before he could, Leopardpaw was bounding away, disappearing into the forest. He started after her, then stopped, knowing that he would never be able to track the elusive golden-brown she-cat, if so many other warriors had failed.

. . .

"Spiderpaw!" Sootpaw bounced towards him. "Oh, Spiderpaw, you're so lucky! Petalcloud is really nice!"

Spiderpaw's head rose from his paws to blink at her. He glanced towards the camp entrance, seeing Petalcloud entering as well. She looked tired, but pleased at the day's work.

"She taught me some really cool crouches!" Sootpaw gushed. "I mean...I couldn't do any of them right...and I almost fell over doing the mouse crouch, which was embarrassing...but still." She blinked at him curiously. "Did you just lie around camp the whole time I was gone?"

"Something like that," he answered, before rising to his paws. "I bet Jaggedclaw's hungry now, come on."

Sootpaw trotted after him, as he picked a mouse from the fresh-kill pile. Then, he hesitated, as something occurred to him.

"Actually, never mind," he meowed through the mouse's fur. "I can take this to him by myself."

Sootpaw blinked at him, slowly, and he smiled. "Go on. Petalcloud probably trained you pretty hard. You deserve the rest."

Sootpaw looked almost suspicious, but she finally smiled. "Thanks, Spiderpaw, I appreciate it!" she purred. "I'll take care of his nest tomorrow morning, okay? Thanks!" She scurried off to the apprentice den, disappearing inside. Spiderpaw paused for a moment, feeling a flicker of guilt. He always seemed to be taking advantage of her.

_But she profits too, and that's what matters, _he thought, padding towards the elder's den. _I don't want her to hear about my failure today...but I need help._

"Here, Jaggedclaw. I brought you some food," Spiderpaw meowed, poking his nose into the den. The scarred tabby shifted his weight, his single eye gleaming in the fading light. He grunted, pulling the mouse towards him with one paw. Spiderpaw didn't move, and Jaggedclaw glanced up at him.

"Why are you still here? You can bring me a new nest tomorrow, don't bother tonight. This one's nice and warm right now."

"I know." Spiderpaw was hesitant; his idea suddenly didn't seem like such a good idea after all. He wasn't sure he wanted to share the previous battle with this scarred tabby; things hadn't worked out well for Jaggedclaw in the past, obviously, so what help would he be to Spiderpaw?

"If you're just going to stare at me, we might have a problem," Jaggedclaw rumbled, his eye narrowed. "I'm not here for you to gander at."

"No, that's not it," Spiderpaw said quickly. "I just...I wanted your help."

Jaggedclaw's ear pricked, but his gaze was guarded. "Help doing what, exactly?"

"Well...today I was sparring with Leopardpaw, and...I lost," Spiderpaw said slowly. "I shouldn't have lost. But I did. I know at least one move that I did wrong, but...I want to know how I could have won, if I had done something differently. Can you help?"

Jaggedclaw was quiet for a moment. Then, slowly, he nodded.

Spiderpaw brightened. Then, he began speaking, relaying the entire episode; he could picture every second, every movement in his head, and he tried to speak as clearly as possible, as clearly as it was captured in his mind. Jaggedclaw listening in silence; when Spiderpaw finished, he was still quiet, his tail flicking slowly. Then, to Spiderpaw's surprise, he let out a low, deep laugh.

"You lost from the very first move," the older tom rasped. "You never stood a chance, as soon as you charged at her."

Spiderpaw frowned. "What do you mean? That shouldn't have impacted the fight at all!"

His single ear flicked. "It's simple. Small cats never take the first move."

Spiderpaw bristled, and Jaggedclaw growled warningly at him. "I'm not going to take any of your snappishness. I'm not trying to insult you, and you need to learn that anything that any cat says isn't necessarily just to harm you. Are you going to listen, or are you going to leave?"

Spiderpaw's pelt prickled, and he scowled, ears flat against his head. "I'll listen."

"I thought as much. Now, the first move is the most important in any battle. That's what tells your opponent what you're planning. It shows them your fighting style. A small cat must never take the first move. Larger cats can take the first move and expose their strategy, because they're strong enough to remain in control of the fight. But small cats' strategies rely on their speed and agility; they have to be fast enough to counter the opponent. If the opponent doesn't move, then the small cat's own move is wasted, and only exposes their personal style. Leopardpaw wasn't giving you the first move out of kindness. She was testing you, seeing how much you knew, and you failed that test."

Spiderpaw scuffed his paw in the dirt. "Okay. So I won't let that happen next time...what if I had been a bigger cat, though? Would I have been able to win?"

Jaggedclaw shook his head. "You would have still lost."

Spiderpaw bristled. "How?" he demanded. "I did everything right, besides that!"

"You charged her full-on, without any sort of plan of attack," Jaggedclaw said calmly. "That showed your arrogance; there was no way to know what move she would choose to counter it, and no way to know that you could have stopped her. Your attack was foolish. She knew that. She also knew that by doing so, it was clear you were confident in your own ability. When you kicked her, and she fell to the ground, she played dead; she was playing on that arrogance, trusting that you would let your guard down. So you lost."

Spiderpaw rasped his tongue over his muzzle. "Okay. So, next time I won't take the first move. And next time I won't gloat...right? And then I'd win?"

"And don't try a back-kick next time, either."

Spiderpaw frowned. "What? But that's how I almost won!"

The tabby shook his head. "No. If Leopardpaw had bounced right back to her paws instead of tricking you, the session would have continued; you wouldn't have won then. That move was dangerous because if you had missed or hadn't had enough power, Leopardpaw would have fell onto you and crushed you. Small cats don't make offensive moves, they merely wait for an opportunity to strike."

Spiderpaw scowled. "So what you're saying is that I did basically everything wrong?" His black tail lashed. Jaggedclaw rolled his eye.

"Sure, think of it that way. Now, leave me alone. I'm tired." He rested his head on his paws, watching the dark apprentice.

"But don't you see? _This _is what I need from a mentor, not Petalcloud patronizing me all the time! You know so much. How did you come up with all of that?"

Jaggedclaw's whiskers twitched. "I didn't figure any of that out myself. I had help, a long time ago. I was tutored, just as Petalcloud will tutor you."

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed. "Who was it, then?"

Jaggedclaw looked back at him stonily. Then, without a word, he turned, curling up in a ball while pushing the remains of his meal to Spiderpaw with one back paw. Spiderpaw glared at him, hating to be ignored, before sighing; he obviously wasn't getting anything more out of the old tom.

He padded back to the apprentice den, his mind practically buzzing.

_Now I know more. Next time, I'll do better. Next time, I'll claw that smug look right off of her stupid spotted face!_

. . .

He awoke to a gentle nudge, and opened his eyes to find a pair of green eyes blinking down at him. He bristled, thinking that it was Leopardpaw, but recognized her ginger fur.

"What do you want, Robinpaw?" he growled. The ginger apprentice sat back, leaning slightly to one side; when she was young, she had fallen out of a tree and badly injured her leg. She still walked with a slight limp.

"We're on a hunting patrol," she mewed. "I figured you'd want to know, is all. Jaypaw's coming too."

"But I haven't eaten yet!" Spiderpaw complained, rising to his feet. She rolled her eyes at him, and batted his ear with one paw.

"Of course not, furball, it's still early. None of us have eaten. Stormshadow says it'll motivate us to get back sooner."

Spiderpaw scowled, but Robinpaw simply smiled at him, before rising to her paws and limping away.

"Hey," a quiet voice growled to Spiderpaw's right. He turned, blinking at Jaypaw. The gray apprentice's amber eyes were uncharacteristically dark as he stared at the black tom. Spiderpaw's fur ruffled.

"What?"

"Robinpaw is hurt. You and I both know that," Jaypaw meowed; was it just Spiderpaw's imagination, or was there a slight growl to his voice? "The last thing she needs is someone making fun of her or calling her stupid. She tries really hard, but things just aren't easy for her, okay? I don't want you to make her feel bad because of her leg. Try to be civil on this patrol." Before Spiderpaw could say a word, Jaypaw left the den.

He blinked, feeling confused. _Of course I wasn't going to make fun of her! _He thought. _She's practically a cripple. We were friends, when we were littermates...I kind of remember that. What __makes him think...?_

He frowned. _Do I really have that much of a reputation as a snappy cat?_

For some reason, the thought made his ears flatten, and he felt a small pang of guilt. _I'm only mean to cats that are acting stupidly...which is practically everyone! That's not my fault!_

"Spiderpaw!" he heard Stormshadow rumble. "Hurry up, or we'll leave without you, and you can pick fleas out of Jaggedclaw's pelt all day!"

_Sure, use our elder as a punishment, _Spiderpaw thought. _Yell it so the entire Clan can hear, idiot._

"I'm coming," he growled, slipping out of the apprentice den, and quickly padding towards the rest of the patrol. Birchpool and Stormshadow were waiting impatiently; Robinpaw was looking towards the camp entrance, not paying attention, but Jaypaw was watching Spiderpaw carefully. Fierce loyalty glittered in his amber eyes, and Spiderpaw ruffled his fur uncomfortably.

"Let's go," Stormshadow growled; his voice was incredibly deep, almost as deep as Jaggedclaw's, and powerful muscles rippled under his pelt as he padded towards the camp entrance. Spiderpaw felt a prickle of awe.

_Someday, I'll be that big, _he reminded himself as he always did. _And everyone will look up to me, too._

He glanced over at Birchpool; he didn't know the fluffy white she-cat very well. Ravenwing said that she came from a lake near Twolegplace, that she and Reedrush came from the same place. But, somehow, Birchpool had lost her memories; she didn't remember her childhood, or her friends, or even her own son, Thistlethorn. Spiderpaw knew the two of them were close now, but how would it feel if your own mother didn't remember giving birth to you at all...?

He bumped into the white queen, realizing that she had stopped; he peered around her to see Robinpaw struggling to get through the camp entrance. The entrance was created by two logs that had fallen on top of each other, creating a narrow space between them; it was good for defending camp, but it was unfortunately difficult for the injured apprentice to get through.

Her ginger tail finally disappeared over the side; Jaypaw shot Spiderpaw a glance, as if daring him to comment. Spiderpaw simply blinked back at him, hopping through the entrance himself.

Robinpaw was purring as she waited for the rest of the patrol. "I swear, that gets harder every time I do it," she meowed to him brightly, turning to give her injured leg a good lick.

Jaypaw sprang through the entrance in time to hear her; he gave her a fond nudge with his shoulder. "You're still growing. When you're bigger, you'll be able to get over it easily."

Robinpaw gave him a bright smile, before rising as Birchpool sprang through the entrance as well. She was the last of the group; Spiderpaw turned towards Stormshadow, waiting for him to lead them to wherever they were headed.

"Where do you think we should go?" Jaypaw asked his mentor quietly. Stormshadow said nothing for a moment, opening his mouth to catch the scents on the breeze.

"We'll head for the Black Stream, following the river," he growled quietly. "There's always plenty of prey around there, between patrols."

"The prey has to drink," Robinpaw said quietly; glancing towards her, Spiderpaw saw that she was staring at him. His fur ruffled slightly.

_I know that, idiot, _he thought, but remembering Jaypaw's glare he decided not to speak.

"Let's go, then," Stormshadow growled, flicking his dark gray tail and disappearing into the undergrowth. His apprentice quickly followed, with Spiderpaw on his heels.

_The easiest way to go about all of this would be to just ignore Robinpaw entirely, and Birchpool too, _he thought. _Stormshadow is a strong cat, and that's what I'm interested in anyway. The last thing I need is to get Jaypaw angry with me for no reason. It's not like I'm _that _mean...and Robinpaw's tough anyway._

He felt an uncomfortable fluttering in his stomach; he had always known that his parents didn't approve of his sharp tongue, and it was a given that most of the other warriors didn't either...but he thought that at least the other apprentices would sort of understand.

_Jaypaw's my cousin, after all, and so is Robinpaw. Did he really think I'd be mean to her on purpose? I just say things to make sure that the otehrs know they're being dumb, is all...to point out their mistakes, so they don't make them again. I'm not really...bad tempered...I just get angry easily..._Even to his own ears, it sounded pathetic.

Stormshadow stopped suddenly, holding up his tail; his fur was bristling. "Do you smell that?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder; Spiderpaw opened his mouth, only to realize that Stormshadow was talking to Birchpool.

The white she-cat had been staring up at the sky, her eyes glowing the same color as the blue expanse above them. She turned to look at him slowly, still blinking. Slowly, she opened her mouth to scent the air; then, she nodded. Spiderpaw opened his mouth as well, eager to show that he wasn't useless; he frowned at the unfamiliar scent on the breeze. It did smell like cats...but cats that he didn't recognize.

"Is it PeakClan?" he asked tentatively. Stormshadow glanced down at him, unimpressed.

"Of course. We're right next to the river," he rumbled. Pricking his ears, Spiderpaw could hear it, the swift-flowing water rushing over the stones.

"They're probably just marking their side of things," Birchpool said gently. "There's no reason to worry."

Stormshadow's tail flicked quickly. "We should make sure, just in case. I wouldn't put it past them to go over our border just because they think they can."

"I thought we were on good terms with them?" Spiderpaw asked curiously. "Weren't we allies a few moons ago?"

"There's no enemy now; there's no reason for us to be allies," Stormshadow answered. "PeakClan still resents us for taking their territory. Come on." He strode forward, pushing his way through the brush, with the rest of the patrol following.

Spiderpaw peered through the ferns curiously, blinking with surprise as he saw the patrol on the other side; sure enough, they were marking the boundary between Clans. There was a slim gray tom, a young golden apprentice, and a dusty-golden tom.

Stormshadow let out a growl, alerting the patrol to their presence; he strode forwards, leading the rest of the patrol behind him.

The gray tom's ears pricked, and he looked weary; Spiderpaw thought he spotted a tremble in the dusty tom's legs.

"I hope you're not going to stray over the river," Stormshadow said quietly. The golden tom looked uneasy, but the other smiled.

"You don't have to worry, Stormshadow, I assure you," he purred, looking relaxed. "PeakClan is happy on their own territory. Here, have you met Brackenpaw? He's my apprentice. He hasn't been to a Gathering yet; we hope he'll have his first one here soon."

The golden apprentice raised his chin proudly; the other gold tom still looked nervous.

"Hello, Brackenpaw!" Robinpaw purred over the river. "You're a lot bigger than you were when we met."

Brackenpaw blinked curiously. "Do I know you?" His voice was low, but warm.

"You probably don't remember me," Robinpaw laughed. "My mom says that I was injured when we met, in the Pool of Stars...but you remember Blizzardpaw, right?"

Brackenpaw's eyes gleamed. "My mom always says that I fought an AshClan kit when I was very young, defending my Clan with my sister," he meowed. Robinpaw beamed.

"Exactly! Blizzardpaw is my good friend. He still likes to remind us that he fought PeakClan cats when he was very young," Robinpaw said with a smile. Brackenpaw smiled back at her, and Spiderpaw frowned.

_Stormshadow just said that we were as good as enemies, weren't you listening?_

"Who're the other two?" Jaypaw asked Birchpool quietly.

"The gray one is Rainwind; the other tom is his old apprentice, Mousestep. I suppose he did a good enough job with him to warrant him receiving Brackenpaw as well...Brackenpaw is Northstar's adopted son. It's an honor to mentor him," the white she-cat whispered back. Spiderpaw blinked with surprise, and he watched the apprentice with new interest.

_Northstar's...adopted son? _He wondered. _How did that work out, I wonder?_

"What is your patrol doing?" Rainwind asked, his voice light and breezy. "Marking the boundary as well?"

Stormshadow shook his head. "We're only here to hunt," he rumbled. Rainwind nodded.

"We'll leave you to it, then," he meowed, flicking his tail to the others. "Come on, then. If you're lucky, Brackenpaw, you can reminiscence with Blizzardpaw at the next Gathering."

"Bye," Brackenpaw meowed to Robinpaw, barely sparing Jaypaw or Spiderpaw a glance. Spiderpaw frowned, watching the PeakClan patrol continue downriver.

"Let's go, come on," Stormshadow growled. "Always make sure to check when you smell PeakClan, understand? They can't be trusted, even if we were allies before. That was only because we didn't have any other choice, understand?"

_He wasn't even part of this Clan when the conflict was going on, _Spiderpaw thought. _Like he had any idea what it was like then. He and the rest of the rogues just joined up, there at the end...that's what Ravenwing ways, at least._

They padded through the forest together; Birchpool left the rest of the group for a moment to catch a vole.

_Am I suppose to be learning? _He wondered tiredly as they walked. _This really doesn't feel like learning._

"I think I smell something," Robinpaw mewed as they neared the Black Stream. "A...mouse, maybe? I'm not sure."

Birchpool opened her mouth, still looking up at the sky, and nodded. "Yes, I believe that's a vole." She smiled as she watched the clouds. "You can try to catch it if you like."

Robinpaw purred, and crouched, her injured leg sticking out to the side slightly. "Okay." She crept forwards; Spiderpaw craned his neck to watch, curious; he wanted to at least _learn _something during this patrol.

Robinpaw crept forward clumsily, leaning slightly to one side. Her tail twitched eagerly, brushing against the leaves. The mouse was immediately alerted and started to dart away; Robinpaw lunged, but missed, landing clumsily.

_Nice going, _Spiderpaw thought with a sigh. _There goes any hope of me ever catching anything. _

He sighed quietly, as the patrol continued.

Stormshadow managed to catch a thrush, and to his credit Jaypaw snatched a finch. Spiderpaw and Robinpaw ended up being the only ones without anything to bring home, but Robinpaw didn't seem to mind; she simply looked happy to be outside in the forest, pouncing on leaves and nipping at flowers.

When they entered camp, Sootpaw trotted towards Spiderpaw with a smile.

"I took care of Jaggedclaw, just like I said," she purred. "Thanks for yesterday."

Spiderpaw simply gave her a tired nod, then glanced over his shoulder as he heard Jaypaw call.

"Hang on, he wants something," Spiderpaw growled, then yawned. "Be right back, okay?"

Sootpaw nodded, and Spiderpaw padded towards Jaypaw, who had his finch in his jaws. Jaypaw flicked his tail towards the corner of camp, and they sat down together.

"I saw how you were looking at her," Jaypaw growled quietly. Spiderpaw blinked slowly.

"What?"

"You think she's stupid! You kept giving her these dirty looks the entire time!" Jaypaw spat. "She's trying really hard, okay? It's not easy for her! She's half a moon behind me, and she feels bad about it...I asked Stormshadow if she could come with us so we'd have a good time. I didn't want you tagging along."

Spiderpaw's ears flattened. "Well it's not like I asked," he hissed. "And I didn't say anything to her, okay? I didn't say anything when she couldn't even get out of camp. I didn't say anything when she was fraternizing with the enemy. I didn't even say anything when she completely mangled that catch of the mouse, okay? So get off my back!" He rose to his paws, bristling, only to freeze as he saw Robinpaw staring right at him. She was holding Birchpool's vole in her jaws, but as he watched she dropped it, turning without another word and running towards the camp entrance. She managed to clear in a single leap, and disappeared into the forest.

**AN: I've got computer-time-restriction-thingies in place now, unfortunately, only 2 hours a day. So updates might be few and far between until I launch a rebellion, or something. Parents, why...?**

**Also, the other day I was backing up Shattered, and I found that in Times New Roman font, size 12, the entire story of Shattered (final AN included) takes up a whopping 747 pages. I patted _Harry Potter And The Deathly Hollows _gently when I realized that they're pretty close. Someday, oh yes...**

**Also, for those of you following my PMD story, I joined a PMD group for the lulz on dART. They give us missions and our team completes them and we write about it and junk. It's pretty easy, but fun. If you want to look at my team and their shenanigans, you can visit my deviantART account (Prin-Pardus). Feel free to leave a comment~**


	7. C h a p t e r 6

**AN: Let's skip ahead again, just a bit. What says you, chaps?**

**C _h a p t e r _6**

Sootpaw licked one paw, drawing it over her ear quickly as she glanced over camp once more. Her ears almost felt as though they were drooping; all of the mentors were either missing or busy, as always.

She sighed softly. _It feels like forever since we were apprenticed...Spiderpaw gets to train every day, but I'm lucky if I can train every other day! I'll never become a warrior at this rate! And from what I've heard, poor Blackpaw's training isn't going well at all..._She scuffed her paw in the dirt. _I might never become a warrior at all. _Her ears flattened as she imagined her brother standing in front of the BranchPile, alone, while she sat off in the corner like a forgotten kit.

Her ears pricked hopefully as she saw Forestheart and Redpaw enter camp, but Forestheart went straight for Silverstar's den. The hope that had blossomed in her chest for a moment faded, leaving her feeling as dejected as ever.

She dug her claws into the soft, dusty dirt; it was the night of the Gathering, over a half moon since she'd been apprenticed, and she knew for a fact that she would not be going.

_I haven't _done _anything, _she thought. _The other mentors just don't have time...I never even got to see the territory with Eaglestrike like he promised...he's too busy._

Her ears pricked again, as she spotted Spiderpaw and Petalcloud entering camp; Petalcloud was holding a squirrel, but, as usual, Spiderpaw was holding nothing. She shook her head ruefully; Spiderpaw still hadn't really warmed to Petalcloud, and he hardly ever seemed to listen to her. He was always wanting to spar with the other apprentices, not learn the basic moves and attempt to learn to hunt.

Sootpaw felt a brief flash of jealousy; what she would give for a mentor, one that would dedicate all of her time to her apprentice, training her, mentoring her, teaching her. Spiderpaw had all that, and he just took it for granted...

But she pasted a smile on her face as she trotted towards her brother. "Hey, Spiderpaw," she purred, and then gave Petalcloud a nod, her yellow eyes glittering hopefully. "Hello, Petalcloud. How are you today?"

Petalcloud yawned, and then glanced at Spiderpaw, irritation in her eyes; Sootpaw wasn't surprise. She knew that Petalcloud was a gentle, kind cat, but apparently spiderpaw could still annoy her.

"Tired," the calico meowed, padding towards the fresh-kill pile. Sootpaw watched her go, her ears lowering slightly again; it was obvious that Petalcloud wasn't in the mood for more training.

"How did it go?" she asked Spiderpaw, pushing back another pang of jealousy.

"How do you think? She treats me like a kit, like I can't do anything by myself. 'Don't go over there, Spiderpaw.' 'Don't touch that, Spiderpaw.' 'Pay attention when I'm talking to you, Spiderpaw.' I'm not interested in what some stupid she-cat has to say, I want to train myself to be a good fighter!" He glanced at her. "No offense."

"None taken," Sootpaw said quietly. "The Gathering's tonight, you know."

Spiderpaw nodded. "I'm going."

She blinked with surprise. "Really? Are you sure?" Too late, she heard the note of astonishment in her voice. Spiderpaw bristled.

"What, do you think that I'm not good enough?" he snapped. She shrank back.

"N-no, I didn't say that. I just thought that...well, we haven't been training very long and...you and Petalcloud aren't on the best of terms..."

"She doesn't get to decide whether or not I go. Eaglestrike does, and he's our dad, so he'll pick us to go for sure." Confidence rang in Spiderpaw's tone, and his green eyes almost seemed to glitter at her. She looked away from him; even if Spiderpaw went, she knew she couldn't go. She hadn't trained hard enough, although that was through no real fault of her own.

Spiderpaw touched her flank with his tail, and he blinked with surprise. "I'm being a little snappy today, I know. Sorry. It's just frustrating, training with her."

"It's frustrating not being able to train at all," Sootpaw blurted. Spiderpaw blinked slowly.

"You haven't been out at all today? What about yesterday?"

She shook her head. "No...the mentors are too busy, and I don't want to go on a patrol and embarrass myself because I haven't learned much...all of the mentors seem to think that one of the others is training me, and they give me weird looks when I say something stupid because I don't know better...I wish I had a mentor, Spiderpaw. Like you."

"Take her," Spiderpaw meowed, flicking his tail dismissively. "I sure don't want her, and she doesn't like me."

"But I'm not sm—er, fast like you," Sootpaw meowed. "She can't teach me the same stuff she can teach you."

Spiderpaw rolled his eyes. "Well if you're going to complain about not having a mentor and I offer you one and you still don't take her, what's even the point? I'm going to grab something to eat." He padded towards the fresh-kill pile.

"No, you're not," a firm voice meowed; Sootpaw turned her head to see Petalcloud frowning at her apprentice. "You didn't catch a single thing to day."

Spiderpaw gave her a sullen look. "Yeah. So?"

"So, you can take that to Jaggedclaw," she gestured with her tail towards the rabbit that Spiderpaw had been going to take, "and wait until everyone else has eaten. Unless you want to go out again and actually try this time?"

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed, fury crackling in his gaze, but to Sootpaw's surprise it suddenly vanished. "Sure, I'll give this to Jaggedclaw," he growled, picking up the rabbit. "Whatever you say." He trotted towards the elder's den. Bewildered, Petalcloud turned to Sootpaw.

"He likes Jaggedclaw," Sootpaw meowed. "I don't know how much Jaggedclaw likes Spiderpaw, but Spiderpaw looks up to him."

"Because he's big and strong," Petalcloud sighed. "Right."

Sootpaw blinked up at the calico she-cat. "Um, Petalcloud...if you're not too tired, would you..." She trailed off, as the calico turned towards her.

"Sorry, Sootpaw...quite frankly, I'm exhausted. Training with Spiderpaw is very...frustrating." Her ears flattened. "Would you mind doing me a favor?"

Sootpaw's ears pricked. "Sure," she said cautiously. "What do you need?"

Petalcloud glanced towards the elders den. "I was just wondering if you could...talk to Spiderpaw for me? He's not taking any of this seriously, all he wants is to be a good fighter, but to become a warrior you have to be well-rounded on both aspects of your training...I don't think he understands that."

Sootpaw blinked slowly. "Well...he doesn't exactly listen to me, usually," she mewed uncomfortably. "I mean, I can try it, but I'm just not sure..."

Petalcloud sighed. "Well, thank you for trying, at the very least." Her eyes strayed to her apprentice once more. "I don't know what to do with him." Her voice was soft enough for Sootpaw to guess that the words were directed more towards herself than the dappled apprentice.

Eaglestrike's yowl startled her, and she nearly sprang out of her fur. She turned, blinking up at her father atop the BranchPile.

"Tonight is the Gathering," he meowed, "and the hour is drawing near for us to go. Silverstar and I have made the selection for who will go tonight."

Sootpaw glanced towards Silverstar's den, wondering if the silver leader would appear, but she did not. Forestheart stood in the entrance of the den, green eyes staring up at Eaglestrike; he looked angry. Sootpaw guessed that Silverstar had been less involved in the choosing of who would go and who would stay than Eaglestrike was letting on.

"Stormshadow, Thistlethorn, Birchpool, Reedrush, Blackpaw, Jaypaw, and Blizzardpaw will go to the Gathering tonight," Eaglestrike meowed. Sootpaw glanced at Petalcloud, seeing her eyes darken.

_She thinks she was snubbed because Spiderpaw's doing badly, _Sootpaw guessed. _I know Father would never do that...but I'm sure she still feels bad..._

Thinking of Spiderpaw, she looked towards the elders den; Spiderpaw was staring up at his father, bristling, looking just as angry as Forestheart. Her heart sank.

_He really thought he was going, even though he's been doing so badly, _she thought. _Petalcloud's right...he doesn't understand what it means, to be a warrior of AshClan._

Eaglestrike was still speaking, but Sootpaw wasn't really listening; she had already known that she wasn't going. She rose to her paws, padding towards Spiderpaw, not wanting him to blurt out or yell anything at their father.

"Hey," she meowed, touching his pelt with her tail. He glanced at her, green eyes still burning. "Hello, Jaggedclaw," she said, ignoring her brother's fury and giving the elder a nod. He blinked at her silently, and she gave him a small smile before turning back to Spiderpaw. His black tail was lashing, and she frowned at him.

"How can he not bring us?" Spiderpaw spat. "I mean, maybe you because you haven't been training, but _me? _I've been sparring with the other apprentices every day!"

Sootpaw's ears flattened; she knew he was angry, and it probably wasn't the right time to speak, but she couldn't let Petalcloud down. "Petalcloud says...that fighting isn't the most important thing," she said quietly. "You have to know how to hunt, and be willing to learn...and be respectful..."

Spiderpaw rolled his eyes. "Petalcloud's been talking to you, huh? She put you up to this?"

Sootpaw looked down at her paws, avoiding his gaze, but the truth was obvious. Spiderpaw let out an angry hiss.

"She just won't leave me alone! I'm learning way more from Jaggedclaw than her!" he spat. "I don't need that stupid calico!" His angry eyes turned on the she-cat, who was sharing tongues with Stormshadow before the gray tom left, with Blackpaw at her side.

"She's just worried," Sootpaw mewed quickly. "She doesn't want to let the Clan down."

"Well if Eaglestrike had given me to someone else, we wouldn't have this problem."

Sootpaw looked at Jaggedclaw over her shoulder, pleading for help, but the gray tabby had already turned away, only his tail sticking out of the den.

"There they go, without us," Spiderpaw growled, as Eaglestrike sprang down from the BranchPile and began to lead the chosen cats away. "This is stupid."

"It'll be us someday, don't worry," Sootpaw meowed, trying to cheer him up a bit. "You and I at the Gathering...we'll see Stonestar, and Northstar, and Blackmoon, and...all those cats that Ravenwing talks about."

"I want to see them _now. _We're both ready. We're apprentices. It's been almost a moon or something since we started training, right?"

"Half a moon, I think," Sootpaw said tentatively. "We've got a long time to go before we're ready, like Firepaw and Blackpaw...and then I'll have a mentor too, and we can train together...it'll be fun."

Spiderpaw snorted. "You're kidding yourself, if you think that's going to happen anytime soon."

She blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Blackpaw won't be made a warrior any time soon," Spiderpaw growled. "She's hopeless at fighting. I bet even I could beat her, although I haven't tried yet."

Sootpaw's ears flattened. "She can't be that bad."

"She hates it, it's obvious. She would have been better as a medicine cat, or something. She tries hard, but it's not enough. Reedrush won't be your real mentor by the end of the moon, you can bet your claws on that."

Sootpaw looked towards the camp entrance, seeing the black apprentice's tail disappear. "You don't mean that."

"Yeah, I do. And if you're planning on going to a real Gathering, you're going to have a long time to way." He drew out the word 'long', until it seemed to ring in her mind.

She felt a flash of anger, and was almost surprised; it wasn't like her to get very angry. She grew up with Spiderpaw, after all; if she was as easy to anger as he was, then she would be angry all the time because of his stupid antics. But she wasn't angry at him; she was angry at Blackpaw, as irrational as it was.

_It's not her fault she can't fight, _Sootpaw thought, but the anger still prickled over her pelt.

Spiderpaw rose to his paws. "Come on."

She blinked. "What?"

"We're going to that Gathering, furball, come on," he growled. "We can't let them just boss us around, tell us what to do all the time."

She blinked at him nervously. "We'll get in trouble."

"We'll be careful! How do you think I keep getting away from Petalcloud, huh? I'm good at sneaking around. It won't be hard. Just roll in some ferns for your scent, and we're good to go, okay?"

Sootpaw glanced around the camp nervously, but most of the cats were already retreating to their dens, anxious to get a good night's rest. She swallowed; she knew it was wrong, but at the same time, the idea of seeing all of the legendary warriors that she'd been told about as a kit was simply too alluring.

"Okay," she said quietly.

"Let me do the talking, if anyone stops us, understand?" he growled. "If anyone asks, we're going hunting."

"At night?"

Spiderpaw rolled his eyes. "They'll be happy that I want to, for once. Just trust me, alright? It'll be fine."

Sootpaw looked at Jaggedclaw again, but he was breathing deeply, as if he was asleep. "Okay," she mewed quietly, nervousness prickling her pelt. Spiderpaw smirked, and flicked his white-tipped tail at her, trotting towards the entrance.

Sootpaw let out a breath she hadn't realized that she had been holding as they exited the camp; she had been certain that someone would try to stop them, but most of the cats that had been left behind were resting.

"Come on," Spiderpaw hissed, breaking into a run. "The ferns I always use are over here."

She saw them, dappled by the moonlight, and rolled in them with him; the fern's gentle scent rose into her nose, and her heart seemed to sink; were they really doing this? Sneaking away to spy on a Gathering?

_Next moon, I won't have to. I'll be there because I'm worthy of it, _she thought firmly. _I won't let anything stand in my way. Blackpaw will be a warrior...and everything will be fine._

She followed him towards the river, hearing the sounds flow over her ears; as she saw the flowing water in the light of the moon, she almost considered hopping over the stepping stones, searching for the Pool of Stars...it would be the perfect night, wouldn't it? With the full moon hanging above them, dazzlingly bright?

Spiderpaw nipped her shoulder. "Come on, mousebrain, don't just sit there and stare. We've got to hurry, if we want to hear anything good."

Sootpaw nodded, following him. Near the river, the undergrowth seemed to fall away; she could feel thousands of small, round stones underneath under her paws, with soft mud and clay mixed in. It made her paws feel heavy, and she wrinkled her nose, wanting to return to the soft forest earth as quickly as possible.

Spiderpaw held up his tail, the white tip bright in the darkness. "Hang on, we're getting close. More quietly, now."

They crept forward together, Sootpaw placing each paw as carefully as she could, not wanting to make any noise. She wished she had Leopardpaw's stealth, as the scent of many cats rose in her nose.

They moved towards the undergrowth once more, and Spiderpaw poked his nose through the thick ferns. He let out a quiet purr, and she quickly did the same, her eyes widening as she saw the huge group of cats by the river.

Her strange dream, the dream of the four Clans that had gone in search of the fifth, rose in her mind. She blinked slowly; the dream was just another mystery for her, another question hat she doubted she would find the answer to.

"There's Father," she whispered excitedly, pointing with her white paw towards the highest of the long, smooth rocks. Spiderpaw nodded.

"So the gray cat next to him must be Stonestar," he mused. "His eyes are yellow. I always pictured them as kind of greenish, in Ravenwing's stories."

Sootpaw nodded in agreement; she had thought Stonestar's eyes were blue. Her eyes widened, as she spotted a white tom, sitting to Stonestar's side. His black paws seemed to blend into the stone, but there was no mistaking those burning golden eyes, eyes that Ravenwing had said used to haunt her dreams, back when Northstar was an enemy to be feared.

_He might still be, _she thought, watching his hard gaze sweep over the arriving AshClan cats. _The peace is an uneasy one, according to Ravenwing..._

Sootpaw watched the two Clans mingle with one another; she and Spiderpaw pointed out all of the PeakClan warriors that they knew to each other in excited whispers.

"That's the apprentice I told you about, Brackenpaw," Spiderpaw meowed, pointing with his tail towards the golden apprentice. He was talking with Blizzardpaw, just as he had promised. Sootpaw smiled, then blinked at the other PeakClan apprentices; there were two of them, a white-and-ginger she-cat and a young ginger tom.

_Siblings? _She wondered. _Who are they?_ She glanced at Spiderpaw, but he was still watching Northstar, his eyes glittering. She sighed quietly; she knew he was admiring the white tom's size and strength, yearning for it himself.

Stonestar or Eaglestrike must have said something, for the chatter quickly died away. Sootpaw's ears pricked, as she strained to hear.

"Do you have any news to share, Stonestar?" Eaglestrike asked with a small smile, glancing towards the gray leader.

"Yes, but first...where is Silverstar? Did something happen to her?"

Eaglestrike's eyes narrowed. "She isn't feeling well."

Stonestar's tail flicked from side to side slowly. "So she's still alive?"

Eaglestrike let out a growl. "What are you saying, Stonestar? Are you making threats?"

Stonestar's yellow gaze was mild. "No. Merely noting that it's been a long time since we've seen her...what, five moons? One moon is understandable. Two moons is questionable. By three I'd think that you would be getting your nine lives, and now we are at five. What exactly could have made her ill for so long?"

Sootpaw could tell her father was feeling uncomfortable. "We already told you that. We were betrayed, and she was injured."

Stonestar's eyes narrowed. "Truly a grievous injury, to keep her in camp for five moons..."

Eaglestrike's tail lashed. "Did you have news, Stonestar?" he snapped. Stonestar smiled.

"Of course," he meowed. "PeakClan is proud to recognize Shrewpaw and Swanpaw today." He flicked his tail towards the two apprentices. "Their sibling, Snowpaw, isn't feeling well and cannot be here today, but we honor her as well."

The Clan turned towards the ginger-and-white apprentice and her ginger brother; the ginger tom looked almost flustered at the attention, but Swanpaw looked cool, keeping her bright blue eyes firmly on her leader.

"The prey is running well for us, which is good, since Emberflight recently welcomed her litter of kits into the world; we have three new kits for the Clan," Stonestar continued. "We are glad that StarClan has chosen to bless us in such a manner."

Sootpaw glanced over the crowd; she saw a thin, brown tabby tom beaming proudly.

Stonestar continued to speak about prey and the territory, but Sootpaw was no longer paying attention to him; her eyes were sweeping over the Gathered cats.

_Is one of them going to announce that we have to go on a journey, or something? _She wondered, her fur prickling at the memory of her dream.

"Hey, Dad's talking now," Spiderpaw meowed, giving her a nudge. She blinked, coming back around.

"This past moon, we also were blessed with three new apprentices, Sootpaw, Spiderpaw, and Leopardpaw. Unfortunately, they could not join us tonight," Eaglestrike said quietly. Stonestar blinked slowly, and Sootpaw wondered if he knew that the two of the new apprentices were Eaglestrike's kits.

"Couldn't join them," Spiderpaw spat, sounding disgusted. "Weren't allowed is more like it."

Sootpaw flicked her tail for him to be quiet. "He's still talking."

"Prey is running well for us also," Eaglestrike continued. "Everything seems peaceful in our Clan. We obviously aren't looking forward to leaf-bare again, but we hope that it will be more peaceful than the last."

Sootpaw glanced up at the trees surrounding them; it was impossible to see in the dim light, but during the day it was obvious that the leaves were starting to change colors. It was the beginning of leaf-fall now, and leaf-bare was only a few moons away; Sootpaw couldn't deny that she was excited, and hopeful. Ravenwing had told them all about the miracle that was snow; Sootpaw had dreamed of it a few times, although she was sure that real snow was much better than whatever she could dream up.

Ravenwing had warned them not to get their hopes up, of course; last leaf-bare it hadn't snowed at all, which had actually lead to a devastating fire that had completely scorched the forest. Sootpaw shuddered at the idea of such a thing; she was grateful that none of her dreams had featured the terrible fire, at least so far.

Eaglestrike was still speaking, so she pricked her ears to listen.

"Other than that, AshClan has little to report," he meowed, "and I assure you that when Silverstar is feeling better, I will step down once again and she will regain control of the Clan."

Stonestar nodded slowly. "I hope she does feel better. Despite her faults, she is a wise leader for your Clan. Shall we consider the Gathering to be concluded?"

Eaglestrike nodded, and Stonestar rose to his paws, flicking his tail. He sprang down from the rock, Northstar moving alongside him, and headed for the stepping stones.

Sootpaw spotted the golden apprentice, Brackenpaw, once again; he had given Blizzardpaw a nod of farewell, before moving quickly to catch up to Swanpaw. He appeared to be talking to her, but she ignored him; Sootpaw wiggled on her belly, trying to get a bit closer to hear. Her eyes widened as a twig snapped underneath one of her paws; she froze, staring down at the Gathered cats, wondering if any of them had heard.

Northstar paused for a moment, ears pricked; he glanced in her direction, and her heart rose into her throat as she saw his golden eyes narrow. But then, he turned away, heading quickly over the stepping stones and onto his own territory.

"Mousebrain," Spiderpaw hissed in her ear, then nipped her flank. "We've got to get back before everyone else.

Sootpaw nodded, quickly springing to her paws and dashing after him; if the moon hadn't been shining so brightly, she would have lost his black coat in the darkness.

Spiderpaw sprang into the camp entrance, then waited for her; she wiggled through it after him, not wanting to make too much noise, and the two of them dove into the apprentice den.

"That was something, wasn't it?" Sootpaw whispered excitedly. "Stonestar was so big! And Eaglestrike was so brave, speaking in front of everyone like that. I could never-"

"Be quiet," Spiderpaw hissed. "You'll wake everyone up. The others will be getting back in a few minutes, and the last thing we need is for them to hear you talking about Stonestar's eyes, or whatever. Shut up, go to sleep, be ready to get up early in the morning."

Sootpaw blinked, and he rolled his eyes. "We're probably going to be the ones on patrol; the cats who went will all be too tired."

Sootpaw's ears flattened at the thought; she knew she'd be practically useless tomorrow, with her brain fuzzy from lack of sleep.

_I probably won't train anyway, so why does it matter? _ She thought sadly, resting her head on her paws.

She closed her eyes, and before she knew it, she was

_looking up at Silverstar, sitting atop the BranchPile. Her ears flattened; she was here, again, watching the entire scene play out._

_She watched Silverstar call her apprentice up. She watched as Silverstar spoke the ceremonial words, mouthing them along with her. She watched as Chillpaw hesitated, looking almost torn – _just say you do, please, _she prayed, _let this all end differently. Let these dreams end! _- before springing upwards. She watched as Silverstar disappeared from sight, heard her gasp of pain as Chillpaw killed her. She watched as Chillpaw was in turn killed. And she watched as everything melted away..._

_But again, something was different. The strange misty place seemed to spring up around her, but even it was different this time; there were vague shapes in the mist now, shapes that she could pick out; a tall tree, a large boulder, dry grass. And there was another shape, a shape with chilling blue eyes, and a voice that whispered her name...whispered for her help...And slowly, she felt herself taking a single step forward, towards those eyes and that white fur..._

A claw jolted her awake. She blinked into Robinpaw's green eyes.

"Good morning," she said hazily, and the ginger she-cat smiled.

"Good morning!" she chirped. "You're coming with me on the dawn patrol!"

Sootpaw glanced towards Spiderpaw; Robinpaw did as well, and her gaze darkened slightly. Sootpaw's pelt prickled uneasily; she knew that Spiderpaw and Robinpaw had had some sort of fight; she had seen Robinpaw running away while Spiderpaw had been yelling at Jaypaw. Spiderpaw wasn't on good terms with the gray apprentice either, but she was glad that Robinpaw didn't hold a grudge towards her.

Sootpaw yawned; all she wanted to do at that moment was curl back up in her warm nest, and pursue her dream. Something had been changing, she could _feel _it. She could have almost touched him...

_But that was Chillpaw, the one who took one of Silverstar's lives, _she thought, her pelt prickling uncomfortably. _At least, I think it was...those eyes are hard to mistake. Who else could it have been, right?_

She realized that Robinpaw was staring at her, and flushed.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I didn't sleep well."

Robinpaw's eyes softened. "Thinking about the Gathering? I was awake most of the night too...I really wanted to go, but I guess I haven't trained hard enough...I wanted to stay up until Jaypaw came back, but I couldn't..." She yawned. "What were you and Spiderpaw doing? Neither of you were there when I finally fell asleep."

Sootpaw blinked, panicking for a moment until she remembered what Spiderpaw had told her to say. "I was, uh, hunting. With Spiderpaw."

"Catch anything?"

Sootpaw's pelt prickled uncomfortably, but Robinpaw only seemed curious. "Um, no. Spiderpaw doesn't really like hunting, and I haven't had much training, so..."

Robinpaw let out a quiet purr. "Maybe Reedrush will teach you along the way."

Her ears pricked. "Is she leading the patrol?"

Robinpaw nodded, and Sootpaw rose to her feet. Robinpaw flicked her tail, limping out of the den with Sootpaw on her heels. Reedrush was waiting at the camp entrance, with Forestheart at her side. Idly, Sootpaw wondered if Forestheart and Silverstar had gone out on another one of their midnight excursions, after the Gathering group had returned home.

"Hello," Sootpaw mewed, somewhat timidly, as she approached the pair of warriors; she liked Reedrush a great deal, but had never spoken to the brown tom. At first, Forestheart said nothing, and her heart sank as she thought he was ignoring her; but then he glanced away from Silverstar's den, his gaze settling on her, and a small smile curled his muzzle, slowly growing into a full-on crooked grin.

"Well hello, Sootpaw," he purred. "Ravenwing's daughter right?" He glanced at Reedrush. "Your soon-to-be-apprentice?"

Reedrush's green eyes seemed to darken. "Hopefully," she mewed quietly; Sootpaw again thought of Blackpaw. Was what Spiderpaw had said true? Might Blackpaw not be ready to become a warrior?

Forestheart seemed to notice her discomfort, for he quickly flicked his tail. "Let's go then, shall we?"

He trotted into the forest, and the rest of the patrol quickly followed; Sootpaw waited for Robinpaw to struggle through the entrance before exiting camp behind her.

Forestheart took in a deep breath of the forest air, and Sootpaw quickly copied him; all sorts of forest scents mingled in her nose, but she could barely pick them apart at all.

_That's why I need a mentor, _she thought unhappily. _How else am I going to learn? Spiderpaw will be a warrior way before me..._

Forestheart glanced over his shoulder at her, and Sootpaw was surprised to see his green eyes glittering gently. "Taking a deep sniff too, eh? What do you smell?"

Sootpaw blinked at the sudden question. Her ears flattened, and she quickly took another breath, trying to identify what she could. "Us," she said slowly, and his whiskers twitched. He gave her a small, encouraging nod. "And...um...leaves," she said, stalling for time.

Forestheart let out a quiet purr. "Right you are. What about you, Robinpaw?"

Sootpaw let out a quiet breath, glad to be out of the spotlight as Robinpaw rattled off scents easily, the words sliding off of her tongue like rainwater. Sootpaw felt a prickle of envy run through her paws.

"Excellent," Forestheart purred, and Sootpaw was surprised to see that he was beaming at both of them, not just Robinpaw. "Believe it or not, that's a good start," Forestheart said to her, giving her a nod. Sootpaw flushed underneath her fur.

"I can't scent much," she admitted, ears burning. "I...haven't had much training."

Forestheart exchanged glances with Reedrush, then smiled crookedly again. "Well, we'll see what we can do about that on this patrol, alright?"

Sootpaw quickly nodded, and Forestheart flicked his tail. "Scent again and see if you can smell one of the things that Robinpaw pointed out."

Sootpaw's ears flattened; she hadn't really been listening to the ginger apprentice. "Um," she said again slowly, opening her mouth. Her eyes darted about, trying to spot something that Robinpaw might have listed. "Ferns," she said finally.

Forestheart's whiskers twitched. "Next time, use your nose instead of your eyes. Still, you're right, we can scent ferns...do you know what else we can do with them?"

Thinking of the night before, she said, "We can roll in them, to hide our scents."

Forestheart blinked; she realized he hadn't expected her to know the answer. "Correct."

"I didn't know that," Robinpaw meowed, giving Sootpaw a nudge. "Nice."

Sootpaw smiled, glad that she had gotten something right. "Spiderpaw told me about it," she admitted.

Reedrush's eyes glittered. "I'm sure he did. Little trouble-maker, or so I hear from Petalcloud."

Sootpaw frowned anxiously; she knew Spiderpaw was often in trouble, but she didn't like the idea of him being gossiped about, even by poor Petalcloud.

"You know what? Why don't we just make this a mentoring session?" Forestheart asked, giving Reedrush a glance. "I mean, the territory doesn't really need another patrol anyway. There's no one here but us and PeakClan, and if Stonestar or Northstar had a bone to pick with us they would have brought it up at the Gathering. Everything's been pretty quiet with Amber and Carmelo, so...? Why not?" He saw Reedrush's uncertain expression, and added, "Eaglestrike can't exactly be mad at us for training his daughter, you know."

Reedrush nodded slowly. "Okay. I don't mind, and honestly training sounds better than wandering around the territory."

Robinpaw let out a pleased purr. "Sounds like fun to me!" she exclaimed.

Reedrush turned to Sootpaw. "What have you been taught already?"

Sootpaw's ears flattened. "Well...you showed me some crouches, that one time...and Frostfeather tried to help me be a little stealthier...Stormshadow showed me a few battle moves...but I don't really know all that much."

Reedrush's eyes widened. "It's been over half a moon since you were apprenticed. Is that all you know?"

Embarassed, Sootpaw looked down at her paws; she felt a tail touch her flank, and looked up to see Forestheart gazing down on her.

"It's not your fault," he said gently. "Things have just been busy around here, I suppose. When you get a proper mentor, you'll make up for lost time. I can see it; you've got the desire to become a warrior, much more so than your brother."

Nervously, Sootpaw nodded, and Forestheart smiled. "Let's get to it."

. . .

"Nice job, Sootpaw," Reedrush purred. Sootpaw blinked at her anxiously.

"But I didn't catch it," she meowed, glancing in the direction where the mouse had disappeared.

"No, but your crouch was excellent; you were just stepping a little heavily, is all," Reedrush said. "I think you might need another lesson in stealth, but..." She glanced up at the sky. "Eaglestrike is probably wondering where we are by now."

"Look what I caught!" Robinpaw's voice reached them. The apprentice pushed through the bracken, a squirrel that was the same color as her pelt hanging in her jaws.

"Nice catch!" Sootpaw exclaimed, surprised; she hadn't thought that Robinpaw could climb trees.

"We found him on the ground, luckily," Forestheart meowed, appearing beside the green-eyed apprentice, looking almost as proud as she was. "He tried to scamper away, but Robinpaw was too quick."

Robinpaw beamed, and Sootpaw nosed her shoulder in congratulations, wishing that she could have caught her own prey; she still hadn't made her first kill, even after more than half a moon of training.

_But I will, _she thought firmly, _no matter how hard I have to train, I will._

"Nice job," Reedrush said, before flicking her tail to Forestheart. "We're running a little late. We should be heading back."

Forestheart glanced up at the sky; sudden worry clouded his green eyes. "Right. Eaglestrike will be worried..." Sootpaw knew it wasn't Eaglestrike that he was thinking of, but Silverstar.

_But I haven't caught anything yet! _She wanted to exclaim, but Reedrush and Forestheart were already moving through the brush, with Robinpaw limping after them. Sighing quietly, Sootpaw followed; as she walked, she tried to step lightly, as Reedrush had said.

_Next time, I'll get that mouse._

But it was more than just catching the mouse, she knew that; she had to know how to fight and how to lead patrols and how to hunt other prey, and at the rate she was learning it would be well over six moons before that happened.

_I have to do _something_, _she thought. _Somehow, I've got to find myself a mentor. Or I will _never _become a warrior._

**AN: Used Pandora radio to listen to some old country station while writing. Jeez, I didn't realize how much I missed old country...*sniffles***

**Iceblossom's kits that we saw on the allegiances are all grow'd up now. Sort of.**


	8. C h a p t e r 7

**C _h a p t e r _7**

He flexed his claws, scraping them in the dirt as he glanced over camp, wondering where Petalcloud was. He hadn't seen her at all today...not that he cared, of course. He would much rather be training with an actually capable cat, rather than the soft calico. Still, if she didn't show up then he would be blamed for not training, and that rankled him.

He rose to his paws, white-tipped tail lashing from side to side. Perhaps she was hiding from her apprentice in the warrior den? He trotted towards it, sticking his nose inside and glancing around; she wasn't there, and when he opened his mouth, her scent was stale.

A shape in the corner of the den stirred, and he blinked into Thistlethorn's sleepy eyes.

"Hello, Spiderpaw," the blue-gray tom said with a yawn. "Are you looking for Petalcloud?"

Spiderpaw nodded. Thistlethorn yawned again, rolling onto his side. "I haven't seen her today, sorry," he murmured drowsily. Spiderpaw flicked his ear in irritation – what sort of warrior just laid around, sleeping all day? - but he said nothing, simply backing out of the den.

_Where is she, then? _He thought crossly. _What on earth could she be doing that's more important than training me?_

He scowled, flopping down on the ground, resting his head on his paws, tail still lashing. _Whatever she's doing, it had better be _really _important. _

He glanced over to the elders den, wondering if Jaggedclaw was awake yet; he saw the tom's tail twitching in the entrance, and rose to his paws, trotting over quickly to the sandy den.

"Go away," Jaggedclaw grunted. "I'm not in the mood to help with your problems."

"You always say that," Spiderpaw meowed, sitting down, wrapping his tail around his paws. "Do you know where Petalcloud is?"

Jaggedclaw turned, giving him an irritated look. "Of course not. Do you think I keep track of everything in this Clan? Why would I?"

Spiderpaw scowled. "I don't know! I was just asking, relax!" His ear flicked. "No one seems to know where she is."

"And you're irritated by that."

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Jaggedclaw shrugged his large shoulders. "Nothing, really, except that you don't like training with her anyway. Why don't you just run off into the forest and spar with the apprentices like you usually do? Then you can come whining back to me, complaining about how you didn't win."

He rolled his eyes. "I win a lot more now, and I don't _whine. _And I'm her apprentice. I'm supposed to be the most important thing to her right now!" He nibbled on his paw, glancing towards the camp entrance again. "It's no fun sneaking off if there's no one to sneak away _from."_

"So, it's her responsibility to train you, but you don't want to be trained by her at all?" Jaggedclaw asked dryly. "It seems to me that if she's avoiding you, she's only granting you your wish."

Spiderpaw bristled. "Who says she's avoiding me, huh?"

Jaggedclaw simply blinked at him, before turning away. Spiderpaw rose to his paws, growling. "You know something, don't you? Where is she, Jaggedclaw? Don't ignore me!" He unsheathed his claws, preparing to lunge at the scarred elder.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," a voice mewed anxiously. He glanced over his shoulder to find Sootpaw blinking at him.

"Where've you been?" he growled. She beamed at him.

"We were supposed to be on patrol, but we ended up training instead. It was really fun, even though I didn't catch anything...still, it was a nice experience. I'm glad that Robinpaw's still nice to me, even after you..."

Spiderpaw's ears flattened. "It wasn't my fault. It was Jaypaw's fault for bothering me so much. I wouldn't have yelled if he wasn't so bent on teaching me a lesson, or whatever." Then, his ears pricked. "Did you see Petalcloud?"

Sootpaw blinked. "I didn't see her, but Reedrush said she smelled her, near the river," she mewed. "We figured she was just hunting too...or looking for you. Did you run away from her again?"

"No," Spiderpaw snapped. He flicked his tail, then rose to his paws. "I'm going to go find her."

Sootpaw's yellow gaze was curious as she blinked at him. "Why? Don't you usually run away from her?"

"Go chase your tail," he replied, before dashing towards the camp entrance.

. . .

_Stupid Petalcloud, _he thought, pushing through the brambles. _Why is she at the river? I'm not at the river, I'm back at camp waiting for her to come get me! Well, I'm not now, but...stupid Petalcloud._

He opened his mouth, trying to catch her scent; his eyes narrowed. Sootpaw had been telling the truth; Petalcloud was indeed somewhere near the river. He flattened himself to the ground, his belly barely brushing the leaves, as he slunk forwards, pushing his muzzle through the ferns.

His green eyes narrowed as the calico she-cat came into view. Sure enough, she was sitting on the riverbank; it was slightly wider here than it was upstream, a bit calmer. He frowned – what was she doing? - as she dipped one paw in the rushing flow, before pulling her paw back out and shaking off the water.

_She might as well be crazy, for all the sense she makes, _he thought crossly, before he rose to his paws and padded forward.

"What are you doing?" he called. Petalcloud's head turned towards him quickly, eyes wide; then, her gaze darkened as she saw it was him, and she silently turned back towards the water. Irritated that she hadn't answered, he stalked closer.

"What are you doing?" he demanded again, slightly louder this time. Petalcloud's ears flattened, and she sighed quietly.

"We're not training today, Spiderpaw. Go find the apprentices, like you always do."

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed. If there was one thing he hated, it was when other cats made assumptions about him. "What if I don't want to, huh? What if I was planning on training today?"

At this, Petalcloud's whiskers twitched. "Sure you were," she mewed, glancing at him, her amber eyes slightly dark. "I'm sure you want to listen to me teach you how to stalk a vole, or catch a bird. There's nothing you'd like more, right?"

Rankled by her sarcasm, he flattened his ears. "Maybe that's right."

Petalcloud shook her head. "You and I both know it's not, Spiderpaw. You don't want to listen to me, and I doubt you ever will. Maybe if you'd had a different mentor, one that could better understand you...but I don't, Spiderpaw. I don't understand you at all, and I'm sorry for that."

"What are you saying?" he spat, tired of her pussy-footing around the issue.

"That I'm not good enough to be your mentor. That I don't understand you, and I don't understand how to. That if I can't mentor you, maybe I'm not good enough to be a warrior. That if I can't mentor an apprentice like a warrior should, maybe I don't belong here at all..." She trailed off, dabbing her paw in the water once more. "I'm not really sure what I'm saying, Spiderpaw. I'm just feeling...confused."

Spiderpaw blinked slowly; he didn't quite understand. How did her not being able to mentor him make her feel like she couldn't be a warrior?

She glanced at him again, and her gaze softened. "Ah. I've confused you. I'm sorry, Spiderpaw...this is exactly what I'm talking about. You don't understand what being a warrior is really all about...and apparently I can't teach you. Mentors are supposed to command respect, teach everything they know to their apprentice...it's a key part of being a warrior, passing on your skills to the next generation. Even Darkstorm has managed it, with his phobia...and if he can, then I should be able to as well. But I can't, Spiderpaw. You don't listen to a word I say. You're not interested in what I want to teach you. You just want to do what you feel like doing, no matter what I say you _need _to do. And that all makes me a bad mentor, and if I'm a bad mentor, then I can't be a good warrior."

Spiderpaw felt a prickle of guilt at the pain in Petalcloud's eyes; was she really considering leaving the Clan, just because he wouldn't listen to her?

He rasped his tongue over his muzzle. "But you're strong in battle, Petalcloud. You're fast; it's hard for the opponent to grab you. That's all that really matters."

Petalcloud shook her head. "No, Spiderpaw, it's not. Sure, I can fight off enemies when the time comes. I can defend my Clan. But if that's all I'm good at, defending my Clan, what about when there are no enemies? What about when the only enemy to my Clan is hunger? What about when the Clan's kits are mewling for food, but there is none available to them? Or what about when sickness is our enemy? When coughing and wheezing saps our strength, makes it impossible for us to serve? Or when inexperience is our enemy? When we have hoards of young cats ready to help their Clan, but no one to teach them? Generations of knowledge could be lost, just because there are no cats to pass them on...every part of being a warrior is important, Spiderpaw. We warriors defend our Clan with tooth and claw, but we have to be able to fill empty bellies and to pass on our knowledge. Medicine cats have to know more than fighting to heal the sick. Fighting isn't all that makes up a Clan." She turned to him. "What about when leaf-bare comes, Spiderpaw? When your stomach is rumbling and empty, when your sister looks at you with dull eyes because she has not eaten in days? What good will your fighting skills be then? Are you going to turn on her, fight her, your own kin, to stay alive?"

Spiderpaw stared at her. What she was saying...actually almost made sense. An image of an emaciated Sootpaw flared up in his mind, and he flinched; Ravenwing had told them often how hard leaf-bare could be, and how much every cat was needed in the Clan. If he couldn't hunt for his Clan, and his sister went hungry because of him...

He looked down at his paws silently, then blinked as Petalcloud's tail brushed his flank.

"I'm sorry, Spiderpaw, I didn't mean to worry you," she said quietly, before rising slowly to her paws. "Do you want to go talk to your father?"

He blinked at her curiously, and her ears flattened. "If I'm not fit to be your mentor...well, he should know so that he can take action accordingly."

He felt another prickle of guilt as she looked away quickly, trying to hide the pain in her eyes.

"Come on, Spiderpaw," she mewed, heading for the woods. Spiderpaw watched her go, paws prickling uncomfortably. For the second time that day, he thought of Sootpaw starving. He swallowed; deep down, he loved Sootpaw, even if it pained him to admit it. The last thing he wanted was for her to suffer.

_She'd be happy to have a mentor, _he thought, _but Petalcloud wouldn't do her much good...they don't have enough in common. And I...well._

'Petalcloud," he said quietly, and she turned to blink at him. Spiderpaw glanced away from her, to the river, his fur ruffling uncomfortably. He looked back at her. "How do you catch a fish?"

For a moment, Petalcloud was confused. "A fish?"

"Yeah. I can see them, swimming around in the water...but I don't know how to get one," he meowed. "If it was leaf-bare...fish are some of the only prey that doesn't hide in a burrow, or anything. They would be easy to catch, if I knew how."

Petalcloud still seemed confused; then, a slow smile came over her muzzle, and she padded towards him. "I can show you," she said, and then looked nervous. "If you'd like me to, that is."

Spiderpaw stared down at his paws. "Sure."

He looked up quickly to gauge her expression, and found to his surprise that her eyes almost seemed to glow; she looked happier than he'd ever seen her.

"It's not really that hard," she purred, sitting down on the bank. "You just have to make sure that they can't see your shadow..."

Slowly, Spiderpaw went to sit beside her.

. . .

"Spiderpaw, there you are," Eaglestrike growled, as his son entered camp. "I've been looking for you everywhere; Jaggedclaw's bedding hasn't been changed." He stopped, then blinked, looking almost puzzled as he stared at his son. "What have you got there?"

Spiderpaw opened his jaws, and a fat fish flopped to the ground. Eaglestrike still looked confused; his head tilted slightly as he looked to Petalcloud.

"He caught it, all by himself," Petalcloud meowed, beaming. "His very first catch."

"A little overdue," Eaglestrike meowed; Spiderpaw bristled, then flattened his fur as he saw his father's eyes gleaming with amusment. "Good job, Spiderpaw. I'm proud of you."

Spiderpaw felt a tremor of warmth run through him as his father rasped his tongue over his black ear, before nodding towards Jaggedclaw's den. "I'm sure he'd enjoy your first catch."

Spiderpaw nodded, then glanced at Petalcloud; she gave him a nod as well, and he quickly scooped up his catch, racing towards the elders den.

Jaggedclaw was asleep when Spiderpaw entered the den, but the fish tail against his muzzle quickly woke him up. He gave Spiderpaw a glare with his single eye.

"You think it's funny, dropping wet food on me?" he growled. For once, Spiderpaw didn't bristle; he smiled, still bolstered by his success and father's pride.

"Just eat it," he meowed. "I caught it myself."

Jaggedclaw rolled his eye. "An apprentice catching prey. How impressive." He sank his fangs into the fish, grimacing. "Where I come from, we didn't eat otter-prey. We ate _real _food, not tiny minnows."

"That's not a minnow," Spiderpaw pointed out. "It's some sort of...bigger fish. Of some kind."

"When did you become a hunter anyway?" Jaggedclaw wondered. "Every time you come to me, you're complaining about Petalcloud trying to make you hunt." His eye narrowed. "Did she finally set you straight?"

"We made a compromise."

Jaggedclaw blinked slowly. "A compromise?"

Spiderpaw nodded. "I admitted that hunting is actually sort of important..._maybe. _And she promised that she wouldn't yell at me so much for wanting to spar with the other apprentices. She says that I can even do some battle training with other mentors, if they'll agree to it."

Jaggedclaw smirked. "Good luck with that. It sounds like she got the better end of the deal."

He wasn't bothered. "We'll see. I'm going to ask Stormshadow right after this if he'll train with me, when I get the moss for your bedding."

"Go on then, do it," he grunted. "Don't sit there staring at me while I eat this fish."

Spiderpaw nodded, springing to his paws and racing towards the small moss-pile that the other apprentices always left for him. Stormshadow was eating a mouse, just as he had been when Spiderpaw had entered the camp. Picking up the moss, Spiderpaw quickly padded over to him.

"Hello," he meowed. Stormshadow glanced at him.

"What?" he grunted.

"Petalcloud said that I could get help with my battle training from another mentor," he said. "I was wondering if you could take me out some time, and we could train together? I want to be strong, like you."

Stormshadow returned his gaze to his meal. "No."

"Why not?" Spiderpaw demanded; the satisfaction he had been feeling began to fade away. "It's okay with Petalcloud, ask her yourself!"

"I said no," Stormshadow growled coldly. "I don't have time to train spoiled brats."

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed, and his claws unsheathed, almost by themselves. "What did you say?"

Stormshadow didn't bother looking at the apprentice. "All you ever do is whine about how hard you have it. You have no idea what its like to have a hard life; you couldn't even begin to know. You're a spoiled brat who scowls and pouts until he gets what he wants. You might have worn down Petalcloud, plagued her with guilt, and achieved what you wanted. But I don't bend, and I don't break. I'm not training you."

Spiderpaw let out a low growl, his claws kneading the ground; there was nothing that he would have liked more than to rake his claws down the gray tom's muzzle.

_Like he has any idea about my life! _He thought angrily. _All he ever does is eat and train Jaypaw! Like that's really so hard too!_

"Where's my bedding?" Spiderpaw heard Jaggedclaw yowl; surprised – he had never heard the scarred tom raise his voice before, it was actually fairly frightening – he turned, blinking to find the single-eyed tom glaring at him. Spiderpaw glanced again at Stormshadow, feeling the anger well up inside of him, but he forced it back down, grabbing Jaggedclaw's moss and padding back to the elders den.

"Keep your fur on," Spiderpaw grumbled. Jaggedclaw yawned, and Spiderpaw blinked slowly, feeling puzzled; the tom did not look angry that his bedding hadn't been changed. He hadn't even finished his fish yet.

_So why did he yowl at me like that? _He wondered. _Was he just...trying to get me away from Stormshadow, before I did something stupid?_

Curiously, he watched the scarred tom, but Jaggedclaw ignored him, gulping down the last of the fish. _Was he trying to look out for me? Well, he shouldn't have. I don't need him! I wasn't going to attack Stormshadow, I'm not stupid. I was just angry, is __all..._The image of slashing Stormshadow's muzzle rose in his mind again, and Spiderpaw winched; he knew it was very possible that he might have struck the gray tabby, if Jaggedclaw hadn't distracted him.

There was no way to know for certain, and he knew Jaggedclaw would rather claw off his own ears – or rather, ear – than admit anything. Sighing quietly, he began spreading the moss into the shape of a new nest.

. . .

"Now, to catch mice, you have to step carefully," Petalcloud meowed. She paused for a moment, then said, "I think Jaggedclaw is incredibly handsome, don't you?"

Spiderpaw was gazing into the ferns, his eyes slightly glazed with thought; he let out an affirmative grunt. Petalcloud sighed.

"Spiderpaw, you aren't listening," she said gently. "Please, focus, okay?"

He blinked, his eyes clearing; he looked at her. "Sorry," he growled.

"Something bothering you?"

"Yeah..." His eyes widened as her words hit him. "Whoa, wait a second. You said Jaggedclaw was handsome?"

To his surprise, she laughed. "I was only trying to get your attention, Spiderpaw. And you agreed."

He glared at her, but to his surprise he wasn't angry, not even as she smiled at him; there was no malice in her gaze, simply amusement, and he had to concede that he hadn't been listening to her, as usual.

"Something bothering you?" she asked again. He flicked his ear.

"Stormshadow wouldn't train me," he growled. "He said he doesn't trained spoiled kits."

Petalcloud blinked slowly. "Did he really say that?"

"No, I'm lying," he spat. "Obviously."

"I didn't mean it like that, Spiderpaw," Petalcloud meowed. "He's just not that...prickly with me, I suppose it's strange for me to hear him speak like that. I mean, I know he has a temper, but...well, he came from a rough place, you know? And he lost Scorpion, his best friend...it happened about six moons ago now, but the feelings are still raw, I'm sure. Scorpion saved him."

"From what?"

Petalcloud shook her head. "That's his story, not mine. I'm sorry he won't train with you, Spiderpaw. Is there anyone else that could help with your battle training?"

"I don't know. There's no one else that's really strong...Forestheart, maybe, even though he isn't really big."

"Being big isn't everything, you know," Petalcloud said softly. "You might never get to be big yourself."

This time, her words sparked anger. "Of course I will," he growled. "I'll be huge, just you wait!"

"Your mother isn't very large herself, and your father isn't huge either," the calico mewed mildly. "I think you need to accept the possibility that you might never be as big as you want to be. But that's okay, Spiderpaw; even smaller cats can become great warriors."

He looked away from her, still steaming, but not wanting to get in more trouble by arguing. "Whatever," he meowed. "Let's go back to talking about mice."

Petalcloud's whiskers twitched. "Okay. Well, open your mouth and scent; try to see if the mouse has stuck around, or whether your loud voice scared him away."

He glanced at her, before obeying; he sorted through the scents in his mind, distributing them into different groups; cat scents, background scents, prey scents, and so on. Then, he blinked. "The mouse is long gone," he meowed, "but I think some cats are approaching us."

Petalcloud nodded. "Friendly, or not?"

"Friendly, of course. We're on our territory!"

She gave him a look, and he scented again. "Yeah, friendly. They smell like AshClan, not stinky old PeakClan."

"Do you know which cats they are?"

He scowled – was this really necessary? - before trying to figure out which cats were pushing their ways through the ferns. One of the scents was unfamiliar to him, smelling oddly of crushed leaves and moss, but the other one he knew almost as well as Sootpaw's. "Bluepaw," he said immediately, "so I guess the other one must be Shimmerfrost."

Petalcloud nodded, opening her mouth to say something, but Bluepaw got their first.

"Spiderpaw, is that you?" she called; he heard twigs snapping and leaves rustling as she plowed through the undergrowth. Her face appeared in front of him, framed by ferns, her blue eyes dancing in her blue-gray face. "It is! Hey, Spiderpaw!" she chirped, before giving Petalcloud a grin. "Hey, Petalcloud! What are you guys doing, huh? Hunting?"

"Quit bothering them," a cold voice snapped; the ferns parted to reveal a second face. Spiderpaw pushed away the urge to shiver as he blinked into Shimmerfrost's cold blue eyes; she had been aptly named, it would seem.

"Hey, Bluepaw," Spiderpaw meowed, smiling despite himself. He eyed Shimmerfrost cautiously. "Hello, Shimmerfrost."

"Are you two looking for herbs?" Petalcloud asked pleasantly. "Spiderpaw and I were just having a little lesson on mice."

"There aren't any mice around here; seems like a poor choice of a place for a lesson," Shimmerfrost meowed icily. "Come on, Bluepaw. We're going."

"We're looking for cobwebs!" Bluepaw purred, ignoring her mentor. "And maybe some juniper berries, if we can find them! I was hoping we might look for honey, but Shimmerfrost says-"

"Shimmerfrost says we're going," the silver tabby snapped. Spiderpaw found it hard to believe that this hardened she-cat and bright Reedrush could actually be related.

"Aww, can't we watch?" Bluepaw pleaded. "I want to see them catch a mouse!"

Spiderpaw glanced at Petalcloud. "Couldn't she watch us?"

"Shimmerfrost's right, there aren't any mice around here, anymore," the calico meowed, unruffled by Shimmerfrost's glare. "Still, I don't think it would hurt if Bluepaw saw us hunt, do you? We could tag along with you on your hunt for herbs, and maybe snag a mouse or two if we spot them on the way."

Shimmerfrost's eyes narrowed, but the she-cat could obviously find no excuse for them not to come. "Fine," she growled, then flicked her tail. "Don't drag your paws, Bluepaw, let's go."

Bluepaw grinned, then wiggled out of the clump of ferns to follow her mentor. Petalcloud began to pad after them, and Spiderpaw quickly overtook her to pad by Bluepaw's side.

"How's your training?" he asked curiously; he had never considered the path of a medicine cat, especially since both positions had been taken since before he was born, but Ravenwing had talked about her experiences as a medicine apprentice several times, just enough to pique his curiosity.

"Pretty good," Bluepaw mewed. "I mean, kind of boring at times, since no one really gets hurt when there are no battles...but I can't really complain about that, right?" Her eyes glittered at him. "What about you, huh? I bet hunting and fighting must be loads of fun!"

"It's okay, I guess. Hunting isn't all that fun...but I do like sparring with the other apprentices," he admitted. To his surprise, she laughed.

"So I've heard," she giggled. "You're pretty tough, right? Jaypaw says you beat him every time."

"We've only sparred twice," Spiderpaw said cautiously. "But yeah, I beat him both times. It wasn't really that hard. See, all I had to do was watch his moves, because then I saw that he always leads with his left paw; his right paw is a lot slower. So when he came at me, I would always dodge to the right – his right, not mine – and he wouldn't be able to grab me before I grabbed him. Worked every time." His ears flattened with embarrassment as he realized that he was babbling, but Bluepaw was still smiling, not appearing to mind.

"Maybe you can show me a few moves then, sometime," she purred.

"I thought medicine cats don't fight? They're just for healing, right?"

Her eyes darkened. "Yeah, you're right. Forget I said anything."

She glanced away, leaving Spiderpaw wondering what he had done wrong; a prickle of embarrassment ran through his fur. Luckily, he didn't have to feel that way for long; within moments, Petalcloud touched his flank with her tail, alerting him that she'd scented a mouse.

"Can you wait a moment, please, Shimmerfrost?" she asked politely. "There's a mouse nearby, and I'd like to show Spiderpaw the correct stalking position."

Shimmerfrost scowled, but nodded, and Petalcloud smiled. "Pay close attention please, Spiderpaw; we wouldn't want you to embarrass yourself in front of Bluepaw here, now would we?"

Spiderpaw rolled hie eyes, but watched intently as Petalcloud fell into a crouch.

"Now, the most important thing is to step lightly, because they're very sensitive," she mewed, her voice a low whisper. "You have to be very careful not to set them off, because mice always have a burrow or hole nearby to duck into, and they're speedy little creatures. Understand?"

He nodded, and the tip of her tail twitched. Realizing that she was motioning for him to try, Spiderpaw mimicked her, crouching and then creeping up to her side. She smiled at him, then gave him a tiny nod, urging him forwards.

Spiderpaw opened his mouth, tasting the air; it only took the sound of claws against leaves for him to pinpoint the mouse's exact position, near a bush which bore many blue-gray berries. Slowly, feeling Bluepaw's eyes on him, he crept forward, stepping as lightly as possible. For once, he was actually thankful for his lanky frame; he made barely a whisper of a sound as he stepped over the dry leaves that littered the dark earth.

He stopped as the mouse's position shifted, his mind quickly sizing up the situation; one of the mouse's beady black eyes was staring right at him, but his dark pelt made him look like just another shadow to the tiny creature. The moment he moved, the mouse would be alerted and dart away, so he couldn't get any closer. He could either wait for the mouse to look away again, and take the risk of it moving on to better feeding grounds, or try to grab it while it was still close, even though he wasn't quite close enough.

Spiderpaw rasped his tongue over his muzzle, as he always did when nervous; the mouse almost jumped with surprise as it saw his little pink tongue move, and Spiderpaw realizing his mistake. Cursing under his breath, he quickly pounced forwards as the mouse began to dart away; he landed short of it, but reached out with one lanky paw, managing to grab its hindquarters just enough to slow it down. He quickly snared it with the other paw, and killed it, feeling its heartbeat die between his claws.

He turned to Petalcloud, somewhat embarrassed by the sloppiness of the catch, but she was beaming at him.

"Not bad for your first try," she purred, then moved to the side as Bluepaw bounded forwards.

"That was awesome, Spiderpaw!" she cheered, bumping shoulders with him. "I thought it was going to get away, but it didn't, you totally got it! It was all like 'eeek' and you were all like 'I'm going to get you now' and it was running and you were jumping and you _got it!_" Her eyes were glowing as if his catch had been the most exciting thing that she had ever seen in her life, and he felt warmed by the praise. He realized he was flushing underneath his fur, and scuffed his paw in the dirt awkwardly.

"Thanks," he mumbled, only to blink as she let out another excited squeak, pouncing towards the nearby berry bush.

"Hey, Shimmerfrost! I think these are those juniper berries!" she meowed excitedly; Spiderpaw turned to see her looking just as excited by the berries as she had been by his catch, as Shimmerfrost, looking bored as ever, slunk forwards. For some reason, the clashing expressions of the two she-cats made Spiderpaw smile, and he was aware of an odd prickling of his pelt as he watched Bluepaw bounce around her mentor like an over-excited rabbit.

**AN: *giggles* Pussy-footing. Ha.**

**I promise we'll get to something that actually resembles a real plot soon. Really. D:**


	9. C h a p t e r 8

**AN: More time-skipping. I'm sorry. It has to be done. D:**

**C _h a p t e r _8**

"Yeah, so then the badger was like 'waaarg I'mma eat you!' and I was like 'StarClan, no!' and then the badger transformed into a giant butterfly, and I don't know if you've ever seen a giant butterfly before but it turns out their faces are really freaky, so then I was even more scared-"

Sootpaw listened to the recitation of Bluepaw's dream, nodding every now and again to pretend that she was paying attention. At the beginning she had tried, she really had, but even the dreams of medicine apprentices were only so entertaining.

Sootpaw decided to distract her – an easy enough task – and try to head the dream off before it got any longer. "So, is that the dream StarClan showed you?"

Bluepaw blinked slowly, then laughed. "No, furball, weren't you listening? That was the dream I had the day _before _yesterday. Yesterday, when Shimmerfrost and I went to the Pool of Stars for the halfmoon, I dreamed off-" she stopped speaking abruptly, and blinked. "Right, I'm not supposed to talk about that...medicine cats apparently aren't supposed to discuss StarClan-related dreams with anyone but the leader, isn't that weird? Silverstar's in the medicine den now with Shimmerfrost, probably to discuss our dreams, but Silverstar looks kind of weird, and I don't think Shimmerfrost will be much-" Abruptly, she clammed up again. Puzzling, Sootpaw waited a moment for her to continue, but Bluepaw was uncharacteristically silent.

_Is something wrong with Silverstar? _Sootpaw wondered anxiously. _More than her hiding in her den all the time? Or is something wrong with Shimmerfrost? _

A prickle of worry ran through her paws, but Bluepaw was chattering on again as if nothing had happened, telling all the details of her dream-badger-butterfly. Sootpaw stared at her paws, lost in her thoughts; Bluepaw's words weren't even entering her ears.

_Is Silverstar troubled by Starclan, for some reason? Or is it something else? What did StarClan show Bluepaw? Does it have anything to do with my dreams?_

She nibbled her paw anxiously. She had dreamed of Chillpaw again, roughly five nights ago, but nothing had come of it; she had only seen his eyes and heard his voice whisper her name, before she had been woken up by Spiderpaw flailing in his own dream.

_I wish I could just ask him what he wants...or ask StarClan what my dreams mean, _she thought. _And what about those other dreams, with Fogheart and the four Clans? Was that the last I'll ever see of him? But why would StarClan show me that...? _Anxiety churned in her belly; there were no easy answers to such questions, not without StarClan's guidance. _If only Bluepaw or Shimmerfrost would take me to the Pool of Stars...I would try to get over the river again like before, but I don't know how to actually get to the Pool...all Ravenwing has said is that it's behind the waterfall, somehow, but how would you get there?_

She sighed quietly, scuffing her paw in the dirt. She wanted to ask Bluepaw about her dreams – Bluepaw was probably one of the only cats in the Clan that would understand – but at the same time, she was frightened to. She wasn't sure that she really wanted to know why Chillpaw was talking to her, or where the strange, misty place really was; what if it was news that she didn't want to hear? What if she wasn't blessed like her mother loved to say, with one paw in StarClan, but with one paw in some other horrible place?

"Bluepaw," she mewed tentatively, "is there more than just StarClan waiting after we die?"

Bluepaw blinked, her mouth open as if she had stopped speaking mid-word. "What?"

"I mean..." Sootpaw shuffled her paws uncomfortably. "I know good cats go to StarClan...but what about good rogues or loners? Or bad cats? Where do they go? Do they just disappear?"

Bluepaw was quiet for a moment. "Well," she said thoughtfully, "Shimmerfrost says that bad cats do go somewhere else, but she's never been there. Medicine cats can't go there like we can with StarClan. Only StarClan cats can go their willingly; other cats have to be sort of...brought there, I guess, by bad cats."

"Where is it?" Sootpaw asked eagerly. "What's it called? What's it look like?"

"It's called the Dark Forest, or Place of No stars," Bluepaw mewed. "It's apparently really creepy...and scary, because so many evil cats live there. I don't know much about it, though, and neither does Shimmerfrost." She cocked her head to one side, watching Sootpaw curiously. "How come?"

Sootpaw swallowed nervously, realizing that she probably sounded strange for being interesting. "Oh, uh, no reason," she mumbled. "Ravenwing was just telling me a story the other day, and the bad cat died, and...well, I was just wondering where he would go..." Her words sounded false to her own ears, but Bluepaw seemed satisfied by them.

The blue-gray apprentice perked up. "Hey, want to go hunt or something?"

Sootpaw glanced over her shoulder; Frostfeather and Darkstorm were sharing tongues – almost literally, as Frostfeather licked his ear – and frowned. Craning her neck, she spotted Reedrush sharing tongues with Jaggedclaw, and her ears flattened.

"I was going to ask Frostfeather or Reedrush for a training lesson, but they're both sort of busy," she mewed. Then, her ears pricked as she spotted her mother entering camp, her jaws full of prey; Sootpaw smiled. Ravenwing was usually very modest, but Eaglestrike was always fond of reminding his kits that their mother was one of the best hunters in the Clan.

"I'm going to ask Ravenwing if she'll give me a quick lesson," she meowed. "Sorry."

Bluepaw's ears seemed to droop slightly, but she nodded. "Okay. Shimmerfrost probably wants me for something anyway." The little blue apprentice heaved herself to her paws, and then gave Sootpaw a smile. "See you later!" she chirped, before bounding into the medicine den with typical Bluepaw enthusiasm.

"Mother," Sootpaw called, and Ravenwing's head turned as she set her fresh-kill down on the pile.

"Sootpaw," she purred, flicking her tail for her daughter to join her. Sootpaw trotted forwards, nosign her mother's shoulder.

"How's your training been?" Ravenwing asked, a note of anxiety in her voice. "I know it's hard, not having a mentor."

Sootpaw hesitated, then gave her a little shrug, not wanting to worry her. "It's fine, I guess. I was wondering if you could take me training, though? I need to work on my stealth, Reedrush says, but she's too busy..."

Ravenwing blinked. "Mothers don't usually train their kits," she said slowly, then smiled. "But in this case I think that would be fine. Come on, then." She flicked her tail, and the black she-cat headed for the camp entrance, with her daughter tagging along.

Ravenwing continued to walk until they were a decent distance away from camp; most of the prey was wise enough to stay away from the large group of cats living within the forest.

"Now, the most important thing when it comes to stealth...well, do you know?"

Sootpaw blinked, trying to remember what Frostfeather had told her during their last session. "Keeping down so they can't see you?"

Ravenwing's whiskers twitched. "Did you hear that from Frostfeather? Yes, that's what she was always taught, because she's a white cat; she stands out rather blatantly compared to the rest of the forest. But for a cat like yourself, with a dappled pelt that blends in nicely with the shadows of the forest, it's not as important. The most important thing for any cat, no matter how large or how small, is to always know where your paws are. It sounds silly, I know, but sometimes you're so focused on your prey that you don't know where exactly you're stepping, which means that you might end up making a lot more noise than you intended. For example, see that twig?" She flicked her tail towards a small twig lying nearby. "If you aren't paying attention and you step on that, you'll make quite a racket and your prey will flee. It doesn't have to see you to know that you're there."

Sootpaw nodded quickly, and Ravenwing crouched to demonstrate. Sootpaw felt a prickle of envy as she watched Ravenwing slink over the soft earth, barely making any noise at all.

"See? Just keep track of your paws, and you'll be fine," Ravenwing purred. Sootpaw nodded, and crouched, copying her. Carefully, Sootpaw crept towards her mother, trying to keep track of all four paws at once. It was difficult; just when she was avoiding a twig with one paw, she would step on dry leaves with another, or brush up against noisy bracken. She finally stopped, ears flattened.

"That wasn't bad, really," Ravenwing purred, licking her ear. "Try it again. It's a little hard at first, I know."

Sootpaw stared at her paws for a moment, before glancing up at her mother, blinking into her green eyes. "Do you think Blackpaw will be a warrior soon?"

Ravenwing looked surprised. "Why?"

"So I can actually have a mentor...one who has time for me," she sighed. "Spiderpaw says Blackpaw isn't good enough at fighting yet. She isn't ready. Do you think...do you think that Eaglestrike will make her a warrior anyway, so that I can have a mentor?"

Ravenwing blinked slowly, and her gaze softened. "Eaglestrike loves you very much," she said quietly, "but he knows as deputy that he has to think of the entire Clan first, and his own kin second...does that make sense? If Blackpaw is ready to become a warrior, then she will be made one, but Eaglestrike won't endanger her by sending her into battle when she isn't ready."

Sootpaw nodded; she hadn't considered Blackpaw being in danger. Then, she smiled.

"Can I try the sneaking again?" she asked, and Ravenwing let out a quiet purr.

. . .

Sootpaw was slightly heartened by the time they re-entered camp; Ravenwing had praised her and said that she was already improving. Her mother had also said that perhaps later in the moon, if she had time, they could continue the lesson and Sootpaw could learn the next step.

"Hey, Spiderpaw!" she purred. Her brother must have returned from hunting only moments before her, for he was setting a plump thrush on the fresh-kill pile. He flicked his ear at her, before giving his mother a nod.

"How about the three of us share a meal?" Ravenwing offered, but the black tom wrinkled his nose.

"I'm bringing my catch to Jaggedclaw," he meowed, picking up his thrush again. "See you later," he mumbled through the feathers. Ravenwing frowned, watching him go.

"When he was a kit, all he ever wanted to do was eat with me, like an apprentice," she meowed; she almost sounded sad. Then, she glanced towards Sootpaw with a smile. "You and I can still share, though, right?"

Sootpaw let out a purr of agreement, and her mother selected a finch from the pile. They moved off to eat it together.

Sootpaw had worked up a slight appetite training, but she had already eaten earlier with Bluepaw, and thus allowed her mother to eat most of the finch. They chatted as they ate, sharing their news, and Sootpaw found that she was satisfied, if only for a few moments, sharing tongues with her mother.

Then, Ravenwing turned, blinking; Sootpaw followed her gaze and saw that Firepaw and Blackpaw were padding towards them.

"Hey!" Firepaw purred, giving Sootpaw a grin. "We've got news for you. Thought you'd like to hear." He nudged Blackpaw. She glanced at him, before giving Sootpaw a nervous smile.

"Um, Eaglestrike just called us into Silverstar's den," she said slowly, "and...well, we're going to be assessed tomorrow."

"Really?" Sootpaw asked, grinning despite herself. "That's excellent!"

Firepaw grinned at her. "I knew you'd be pleased. If Blackpaw can impress your dad, you'll have a mentor, right? So...mind putting in a good word?" He was still smiling, so she knew he was kidding, and she let out a purr of amusement.

"Good luck, both of you," she meowed, giving Blackpaw a nod. "Obviously I can't watch the hunting assessment, but I'll try to watch you spar!"

Firepaw rolled his eyes. "Of course you will."

She blinked, puzzled, and glanced at Ravenwing.

"It's custom for the apprentices being assessed to spar against another apprentice," Ravenwing said. "Their mentors might let them off too easily, and the leader or deputy would be too skilled to really make it a fair fight."

Slowly, Sootpaw nodded; it made sense, she supposed. She only hoped that Blackpaw would do well...if not, who knew how long it would be until she had her own mentor?

"Well, hopefully I won't have to fight either of you," Sootpaw mewed. "I wouldn't want to embarrass myself in front of everyone!"

Blackpaw didn't smile; instead, she glanced down at her paws. "Yeah," she said quietly. "Well, um, Reedrush wants to take me out again before then, so, um, bye." Sootpaw nodded, and the black apprentice slipped away, heading for the camp entrance with Reedrush.

"Yeah, Darkstorm wants to take me out too," Firepaw sighed. "Some sort of last hunt as mentor and apprentice...soft stuff, y'know." He puffed his chest out. "I'm going to be the best warrior in the whole Clan, you know. I'm going to mentor dozens of apprentices, I'll be so good."

Sootpaw rolled her eyes at him; Spiderpaw would have been irked by his ego, but it didn't bother Sootpaw much. She lived with Spiderpaw, after all; she was used to cats that were all talk. Unlike Spiderpaw, however, Firepaw had the muscle to back it up.

Firepaw's head turned as his mentor called his name; Darkstorm and Frostfeather had apparently untangled themselves from one another, for the slightly skinny black tom was flicking his tail impatiently and the white she-cat was nowhere to be seen. Firepaw gave Sootpaw a glance, before trotting towards his mentor.

Sootpaw watched them go, imagining herself walking by her mentor's side, ready to train for hours on end, and she smiled. Then, a prickle of worry ran through her paws.

_Please, StarClan, let Blackpaw pass her assessment._

. . .

_The scene passed as it always did; Silverstar stood over the Clan, asked Chillpaw the question, and died. Sootpaw wasn't watching this time; instead, her gaze flitted over the other cats of the Clan, watching their expressions._

How did none of them know? _She wondered. _How did none of them know that this cat was planning to murder their leader in cold blood? How did none of them suspect a thing? Surely someone...why didn't _someone _stop him?

_But it was obvious from the gazes of the gathered cats that they were expecting a peaceful ceremony, a hopeful one, one of a cat who was previously a loner becoming a full warrior of the Clans. She looked over every face, and saw not one trace of fear or suspicion, not until the act was done and Silverstar was losing a life in a pool of her own blood._

They think he's a hero, _she realized. _At least, before he attacks her...after all, he fought that badger, just the day before all this...protecting...

_The dream dissolved away, cutting off her thought, and she realized that she was at the strange, misty place once more._

No. Not the misty place. The Dark Forest. _She felt a chill of fear as she thought the name. _The Dark Forest. Where the bad cats, the ones not worthy of StarClan, go...

_His icy blue eyes stared at her, their chill piercing even the thick mist. Just as before, the mist was wavering slightly, exposing more of the Dark Forest than before; she could see the trees again, the boulders, the inky black sky unlit by any stars._

"_Sootpaw," he whispered, and her fur bristled at the sound of her name, the way he almost seemed to caress it. "Sootpaw. Please. I need you."_

_She swallowed, and for the first time she realized that she could open her mouth; for the first time, she could reply to him. "Why? Why do you need me?"_

"_Sootpaw," he said again. "Please, help me. Come here. I need your help..."_

_Sootpaw felt something brush her, and she flinched, only for her eyes to widen; even in the mist, the crescent moon marking framed by black fur stood out brightly, shining like the moon itself._

Moonkit? _She wondered, puzzled and frightened; she hadn't seen her friend, even dreamed of her, almost since her apprentice ceremony. "Moonkit?"_

_Moonkit smiled, her blue eyes gentle as she gazed upon her friend. "It's okay," she mewed. "It's okay." Her blue eyes glowed with an eerie light._

_Sootpaw turned back to Chillpaw – for surely that was who this cat was, this cat that called to her – and stared at him uncertainly. Then, slowly, she took a tentative step forward, then another. He smiled as she did so, and the mist began to clear; it almost seemed to part, and she could see more of the Dark Forest now, more of the darkened trees and earth. And, behind him, she thought she saw the glow of more eyes..._

"_Wake, Sootpaw," Chillpaw said softly. "I'll be here, waiting. Waiting for you."_

_She opened her mouth to question him, but found that she was rooted to the spot once more, and the words wouldn't come. They felt as though they were choking her, and she gagged, as the dream bega to melt around her. The last thing she felt was the comforting touch of Moonkit's pelt._

As she felt herself waking up, she quietly performed the Moonkit ritual. She had done so every day – at least, when she hadn't been awakened by other cats – but obviously to no avail.

Slowly, her eyes opened, and she blinked to see Moonkit herself staring down at her.

"What are you doing?" Sootpaw meowed, then glanced around the den; the apprentices were all still sound asleep. She could see the rosy light of dawn cast over the camp; it was still early. "Where have you been, Moonkit? I haven't seen you in...in forever, practically!"

Moonkit smiled down at her. "Here and there," she purred, and then grinned. "And it's Moon_paw _now, silly! You didn't think I was just going to stay a kit forever, did you? We're apprentices now, just the two of us!"

Sootpaw sat up slowly, yawning, then stared at Moonpaw anxiously. "You aren't going to leave me again, are you?"

Moonpaw's eyes gentled. "Of course not, furball. I was just busy, doing amazing-Moonpaw-stuff. I'll always come back to you, as long as you need me...and maybe even when you don't." She smiled again, but Sootpaw couldn't quite shake the slightly ominous feeling from her words.

Then, her eyes widened. "Today is Firepaw and Blackpaw's assessment!"

"Yeah, that's what woke you up again," Moonpaw meowed, and flicked her tail towards the entrance. "See? They just got up. Blackpaw nudged you accidentally in your sleep. Eaglestrike is telling them the rules of the assessment now."

Sootpaw crept towards the entrance of the den, keeping track of all four paws like Ravenwing had taught her so she wouldn't disturb the others. Her fur prickled with excitement as she saw her father speaking to the two apprentices; Reedrush and Darkstorm were also nearby.

"He's telling them that they'll be watched by their mentors and him," Moonpaw whispered in her ear. "They'll be judged not only on how much prey they bring back, but also what kind, and their technique too."

"And then the battle assessment, right?"

Moonpaw nodded, then glanced over her shoulder. Copying her, Sootpaw blinked as she saw Spiderpaw awake and staring at her.

"Who are you talking to? You're being noisy," he complained, stretching. "What's going on? What are you doing?"

She wrinkled her nose at him. "Nosy furball. I was just watching Eaglestrike tell Firepaw and Blackpaw the rules of the assessment."

His ears pricked with interest, and he came to lie beside her; Firepaw and Blackpaw were both already heading towards camp.

"Think we can watch?" he asked.

"Eaglestrike, Reedrush, and Darkstorm will all be in the forest watching them, so I doubt we'll be able to sneak around," she said, then rested her head on her paws. "I'm not worried about hunting, though. Blackpaw's really good at hunting."

"Miserable fighter, though."

She glanced at him, and frowned. He stared back at her, fur ruffling slightly. "Well, it's true! She stinks at fighting. Eaglestrike won't make her a warrior if she can't defend her Clan, and I don't think he should. I mean, it stinks for you that you don't have a mentor, but that's not Eaglestrike's fault."

She sighed quietly. "I hope she does well today. I hope they pick an easy opponent for her to spar with."

Spiderpaw blinked slowly, then nodded. "Yeah. Me too." She glanced at him again, and he smiled at her. "I hope you get a mentor, and I hope Blackpaw does well enough to become a warrior," he said quietly. Sootpaw let out a purr, nuzzling his shoulder; his instances of affection were rare, but that only meant that she valued them more.

He stood. "Come on, let's take care of Jaggedclaw so that when they finish the hunting part, we can watch them spar," he meowed, flicking his white-tipped tail at her. She nodded quickly, rising to her paws and heading for the fresh-kill pile.

. . .

She felt as though she was sitting in a pile of nettles for the rest of the day, the anticipation and anxiety seemed to crawl over her pelt like ants as she waited for Blackpaw and Firepaw to return. Spiderpaw at least had Jaggedclaw to talk to – and he didn't really care about the assessments anyway – but Sootpaw could only stare at the entrance of the camp and wait.

Moonpaw kept her company, at least, but now that she was an apprentice having an imaginary friend made her strange, not cute, so she couldn't talk to her; she tried to nod discreetly or flick her ear as a reply when she could, but eventually Moonpaw stopped talking as well, which meant that the only thing sootpaw had to dwell on was her own thoughts.

_That dream...It keeps changing, I keep getting closer and closer to something...but what? Him? What does he want from me? What can I help him with? I'm not special, I don't have any skills. I don't even have a mentor. I haven't even caught my first prey! And Moonpaw..._She glanced towards her imaginary friend out of the corner of her eye. _She was there...but was that just me dreaming of her, or was it the real Moonpaw?_

Her ears flattened; there was no easy way to get these answers, especially since she was too timid to ask Bluepaw for more help. The only cats who had the answers were StarClan...and Chillpaw himself.

_Maybe I don't have one paw in StarClan, like my mother thinks. _She stared down at her white paw. _Maybe I've got one paw in the Dark Forest instead._

She heard a rustle, and looked up, her ears pricking as she spotted Firepaw's flame-like pelt. The ginger apprentice swaggered into camp, with his jaws full of prey, but she wasn't interested in him; her eyes strained to see Blackpaw, but the black apprentice was nowhere to be found.

Then, she appeared, springing into camp with an enormous crow hanging in her jaws. Her golden eyes gleamed with pride, and behind her Reedrush appeared as well, carrying what Sootpaw could only assume was more of Blackpaw's prey.

Darkstorm and Eaglestrike appeared as well; Reedrush and Firepaw set the fresh-kill they carried on the pile, but Blackpaw turned towards Eaglestrike and, much to Sootpaw's surprise, presented the great black bird to him.

Eaglestrike smiled, letting out a rumbling purr that Sootpaw could hear half-way across the camp. A prickle of jealousy ran through her paws, and she silently swore to herself that someday she would be as good a hunter as Blackpaw was, to make her father proud of her as well.

"Darkstorm, Reedrush, how would you say your apprentices did?" he asked, glancing at them; they exchanged glances, both waiting for the other to go first, before Darkstorm stepped forward nervously.

"Firepaw was, ah, very eager to catch a lot of prey," he said slowly; his gaze flitted over to Frostfeather, and she gave him an encouraging smile. "His first few attempts were not successful...because he was trying too hard and moving too quickly, without taking the proper precautions," he continued. Firepaw's ear twitched; the ginger apprentice looked stoney. "However, he gradually began to slow down and take more time hunting, and after that he was quite successful, as you can see." Darkstorm flicked his black tail towards the fresh-kill pile, which looked almost ready to overflow. "I believe that Firepaw is a good hunter; the only thing he lacks with patience, and that is something that comes with age, not practice."

Eaglestrike nodded slowly. "I agree with your assessment. And you, Reedrush? How do you think Blackpaw did?"

Reedrush smiled down at her black apprentice. "Blackpaw is an excellent hunter, one of the best I've seen," she said. "She has all the patience and stealth of a champion hunter, and her tracking skills are superb as well. She had a bit of trouble locating prey at first – probably because Firepaw scared most of it away with his pouncing."

A few amused purrs rippled through the gathered cats; Firepaw looked slightly irritated, but he didn't say anything.

"Once she found her prey, however, she didn't miss a single catch," she continued, "including the crow."

Eaglestrike nodded. "I actually was there just in time to see her catch it; it was a magnificent leap, Blackpaw."

The black apprentice flushed at the praise. "Thank you, Eaglestrike," she mumbled.

"Both apprentices have passed their hunting assessments, with flying colors," Eaglestrike announced; Firepaw grinned, looking as if he'd never had any doubt, but Blackpaw looked more anxious than before, and Sootpaw knew that she was scared of what was coming next.

"Now, we enter the fighting portion of the assessment," he said. "Apprentices of AshClan, come with me, please." He flicked his gray tail, before padding out of camp with Reedrush and Darkstorm by his side, trailed by Firepaw and Blackpaw.

"It's time," Moonpaw grinned, springing forward; Sootpaw quickly matched her gait, following the moon-marked apprentice.

Eaglestrike let everyone to the training clearing; he sat down on the fringes of the clearing, curling his tail around his paws, before giving Darkstorm a nod. "Let's allow Firepaw to go first. You may pick his opponent."

Sootpaw seated herself on the edges of the clearing, just as Eaglestrike had done, resting her paws on the soft, spongy moss. Around her, the other apprentices began to gather, sitting next to one another; only Spiderpaw sat a slight distance away from the others, his green gaze glittering.

_Is he hoping to be picked? _She wondered. _Probably. All he likes to do is fight, and if he could beat Firepaw and prevent him from becoming a warrior, he'd be very pleased._

Darkstorm swept his gaze over the gathered cats; he looked anxious. Sootpaw knew he had nothing to fear; no matter who his opponent was, Firepaw would pass easily. The only cat that was also equal to him in terms of fighting was Leopardpaw, and he was usually able to beat her.

"I choose...Jaypaw," Darkstorm said quietly. Sootpaw's ears pricked with surprise, and she noticed that, to her left, Reedrush did as well.

_Jaypaw is a safe choice, _she thought, _he's a decent fighter and hunter, but not outstanding in either respect...and he likes Firepaw, so he won't be trying to humiliate him like Spiderpaw or Leopardpaw would._

Firepaw's eyes glinted as he padded for the center of the training clearing; Jaypaw slowly rose as well.

"Good luck," Robinpaw purred to him. "Try not to get beaten too badly."

He shot her a glance, and her green eyes glimmered with amusement as she looked up at him. He rolled his own eyes at her, before padding towards the center of the Moss Clearing as well.

"Now, the usual rules still apply," Eaglestrike meowed; Sootpaw thought his gaze might have flickered in Leopardpaw's direction, but she wasn't sure. "No clawing each other, and biting only if it isn't deep. Firepaw, your goal is to pin Jaypaw down until he has no way to escape your grasp. Jaypaw, if you manage to perform that feat, then Firepaw fails his assessment. Time is also of the essence; if the match is too drawn-out then you would be in trouble in a real battle and thus fail the assessment."

Firepaw and Jaypaw both nodded, before Eaglestrike flicked his tail, signaling for the sparring to begin.

Sootpaw had heard from Spiderpaw that Jaypaw was a very cautious fighter, but Firepaw certainly wasn't he exploded forward almost immediately, paws outstretched. Jaypaw dodged to the side, just as Spiderpaw always said that he did; apparently Spiderpaw hadn't been the only one to pay attention, though, for Firepaw twisted in the same direction, his paws catching Jaypaw's shoulder, causing the gray tom to stumble. Firepaw was on him in seconds, pinning him down; Jaypaw managed to wiggle out of his grasp, however, and the battle continued.

Sootpaw lost track of Firepaw's moves; he was incredibly fast and fierce, and no matter where Jaypaw seemed to want to go, Firepaw was there first. He almost seemed to be toying with the gray apprentice, showing his moves off to everyone; Sootpaw quickly lost interest. When Firepaw decided to win, the battle would be over, and that was that.

Sootpaw glanced over at Blackpaw; her fur was ruffled uncomfortably, and Sootpaw knew she was probably comparing herself to her brother, watching his amazing feats. Quietly, Sootpaw rose and padded towards the black apprentice, sitting down beside her.

"I'm sure you'll do great," she whispered, "don't look so nervous."

Blackpaw glanced at her, her golden eyes wide. "But I'm not as good as him."

Sootpaw purred quietly. "Is anyone?"

"No, but...Jaypaw and Robinpaw are the only ones I've ever managed to beat, ever," she said soflty. "I can't fight Jaypaw now, he'll be tired from his fight with Firepaw, and fighting Robinpaw won't be fair."

Sootpaw blinked. "Maybe Reedrush will pick me, then? I haven't had much training. I'm about as good as a fox cub right about now."

Blackpaw stared at her. "Really? I didn't know that. I figured you would be a really good fighter by now, since you're so big..."

Sootpaw laughed. "No, I'm pretty feeble, I'll admit."

Blackpaw looked slightly heartened. "I hope she picks you...no offense, I mean," she said quickly. Sootpaw purred again.

"Me too."

She turned back to watch the battle, only to see that it was over; Firepaw had Jaypaw pinned on his stomach. The gray apprentice strained to stand, but Firepaw's weight was too much.

Eaglestrike rose to his paws. "Let him up, Firepaw, your assessment is completely."

Obediently, Firepaw slipped off of Jaypaw; he scrambled to his paws. To Sootpaw's surprise, he was grinning, and he nudged Firepaw's shoulder playfully as he stood.

_Spiderpaw would be angry if he was beaten, _she thought. _But Jaypaw...doesn't seem to mind. He's laid-back, like that, I suppose._

Eaglestrike flicked his tail, and Jaypaw went to sit down; he sat on Blackpaw's other side.

"Firepaw, you are a very skilled warrior," Eaglestrike meowed. "However, you were a little slow in this battle; you should have taken care of Jaypaw much sooner."

Firepaw's ears flattened, and for a moment he looked anxious; Eaglestrike paused just long enough to make him squirm a bit – Sootpaw let out a quiet purr to see the arrogant apprentice looking so nervous – before smiling. "However, it is obvious that you could have won the battle much sooner if you had given it your full effort. In a real battle, I am sure you would be a most formidable opponent."

Firepaw quickly nodded, and Eaglestrike held up his tail, signaling that he was not yet done. "However, in a real battle, it would be inadvisable to show off."

Firepaw nodded again, and Eaglestrike smiled at him, sitting back down. Firepaw grinned, knowing that he had passed, and Eaglestrike turned to Reedrush. "It's your turn. Pick your apprentice's opponent."

Sootpaw blinked at the silver tabby as she stood and swept her gaze over the gathered apprentices.

_Leopardpaw, Blizzardpaw, Firepaw, and Jaypaw are all out of the question; they're too strong for her. Blizzardpaw wouldn't mind letting her win, he's a good cat, but it would still be obvious that she was outmatched. That leaves me, Robinpaw, Redpaw, and Spiderpaw. Blackpaw was right that picking Robinpaw wouldn't be fair with her injury; Redpaw is just as fierce as Firepaw is. He practically worships Firepaw, and has tried to learn all of his techniques...which either means that he would be willing to let his idol's sister beat him to appease Firepaw, or that he would be too fierce and beat her. He's too risky to pick. So that just leaves me and Spiderpaw._

She smiled, looking up at Reedrush, the tip of her tail twitching, hoping that the silver tabby would pick her and she would be that much closer to becoming an apprentice. Reedrush's gaze flitted to her, then away again, finally settling on Spiderpaw.

_No! _Sootpaw thought, and her eyes widened as she realized that Reedrush was going to pick her brother. _She thinks that I'm strong, just like Blackpaw did. She's afraid I would be too hard too. Spiderpaw and I are the youngest apprentices, so naturally she thinks we're the weakest...and because of his small size, she thinks Spiderpaw is even weaker than me...She probably hasn't been around to see him spar much, she gets all of her news from Petalcloud, and Petalcloud doesn't train him for battle very often._

"I choose Spiderpaw," she said quietly, sitting down again. Blackpaw's eyes widened with fear; she knew Spiderpaw's fighting skills much better than her mentor did. Sootpaw's gaze flitted to Spiderpaw's, and her heart sank as she saw that his green eyes were glittering with fury.

_Of course, _she thought sadly. _He's always been smarter than me...he probably figured all this out before she even made her decision. And now he's furious that Reedrush thinks he's small and weak...and he'll do anything to prove that he isn't._

Legs trembling slightly, Blackpaw rose to her paws; Firepaw whispered encouragement to her, and Jaypaw licked her shoulder, before she padded to the center of the clearing. Spiderpaw quickly sprang to his paws and stalked towards her; Sootpaw was alarmed to see his fur bristling slightly.

_He's really angry, _she realized, her heart feeling like a stone in her chest. _Oh, Blackpaw..._

Spiderpaw and Blackpaw faced off, the smaller apprentice still bristling.

"Same rules as before, of course," Eaglestrike meowed. "You two may begin."

Blackpaw was still trembling slightly; she couldn't meet Spiderpaw's blazing green gaze, her gaze kept flinching away. Sootpaw knew immediately that she was leaving herself open to attack, and sure enough Spiderpaw lunged forwards. Blackpaw managed to evade him – she was fast, for such a reluctant she-cat - but Spiderpaw sprang at her again, one of his outstretched paws hitting her shoulder. She took a step back, but Spiderpaw was too small for his blow to hurt her; his tail lashed from side to side angrily, and Sootpaw's ears flattened. She didn't want to watch this one-sided battle, but at the same time she couldn't look away.

Blackpaw reared onto her front paws, trying to kick him, but he slid underneath her, striking her stomach with his paws before slithering away. She was unbalanced, and fell to the side; he was on her in moments, struggling to pin her down. She wiggled out of his weak grasp, and struck him on the shoulder with her own paw, sending him into the dirt. Instead of jumping on him like Firepaw would have, Blackpaw looked apprehensive, backing away and preparing for his next moon. Spiderpaw was on his paws in seconds, spitting at her and charging again. This time, he feinted to the left and struck her on the right, sending her wobbling again. She tried to counterattack with a swipe, but he dodged her clumsy attempt easily. Sootpaw could see from Blackpaw's wide golden eyes that the poor she-cat was panicking; Sootpaw looked to Eaglestrike, wishing he would end the farce, but his yellow gaze was firm as he watched.

_He's hoping she'll turn it around, _she thought. _I'm hoping she will too._

Then, Blackpaw did something that surprised her; she reared on her front paws again, preparing for another back-kick. Just as before, Spiderpaw moved to get underneath her. Then, to his astonishment, Blackpaw crashed down on top of him, pinning him under her weight. He only had time to roll onto his back, before he found himself immobilized.

For a moment, his green eyes met Sootpaw's; she blinked at him pleadingly. _Please. Don't move. Just let her pin you._

Spiderpaw stared at her for a long moment, just enough to allow hope to flutter in Sootpaw's heart. Then, his green gaze hardened, and her heart sank; he wouldn't allow himself to be humiliated.

But it was more than that; she remembered their conversation.

"_Eaglestrike won't make her a warrior if she can't defend her Clan, and I don't think he should," _he had said, and her heart seemed to sink down even further, well into her paws; she knew that Blackpaw wasn't ready to become a warrior, and she knew Spiderpaw was aware of it as well, and he wasn't going to let her become one if she wasn't prepared.

Spiderpaw's eyes gleamed, and with explosive force he kicked upwards. Blackpaw let out an _oof! a_s his paws collided with her stomach. He was too small to send her flying far; she landed next to him, on her side, all of the breath knocked out of her body. She struggled to get to her paws, but Spiderpaw was already on her, pinning her down on her side; he had one paw on her shoulder and one on her front paws so that she couldn't move, just as Firepaw had done to him moons before.

Blackpaw struggled weakly, but finally went limp; Sootpaw couldn't see her face, but she knew her eyes were probably brimming with humiliation and shame.

Eaglestrike waited a long moment, as if still half-hoping that Blackpaw could win, before rising to his paws. "Spiderpaw, let her up," he said quietly. Spiderpaw glanced at him, still looking furious – the fur around his shoulders was still ruffled – but he grudgingly backed off. The clearing was completely silent as Blackpaw slowly rose; she stared down at her paws, unable to face her leader's judgment.

"Blackpaw," Eaglestrike meowed; his voice was softer than Sootpaw had ever heard it. "I think it is obvious that you have failed your assessment." Blackpaw's ears flattened; her gaze seemed to drop even farther, if that was possible. "You were hesitant and anxious in your attacks, while Spiderpaw was not. You are not yet ready to become a warrior." He sighed softly. "I'm sorry. You will have another moon to focus solely on your fighting skills, with Reedrush. At that time, we will assess you again. Do you understand?"

Blackpaw nodded, still staring at her black feet.

_Another moon? _Sootpaw thought desperately. _I have to go that long until I can have a mentor?_

Eaglestrike turned to Firepaw. "You passed both of your assessments, Firepaw. You may become a warrior and sit your vigil tonight, if you wish."

Firepaw's eyes sparked. "No," he spat, his fur bristling; he shot Spiderpaw a glare, but Spiderpaw had already taken his seat slightly away from the other apprentices, ignoring the ginger tom. "There's no way I'm becoming a warrior without Blackpaw. I'll wait out the rest of the moon with her. Maybe I can work on my patience." His tail lashed from side to side; he appeared absolutely furious with Spiderpaw, and Sootpaw didn't blame him.

Eaglestrike nodded, and she thought he was smiling slightly. "I accept your decision. It is a kind one." He flicked his tail to the rest of the apprentices. "We should go home now and tell the rest of the Clan the news." He turned to go, pausing beside Reedrush; Sootpaw thought she heard him whisper a quiet "I'm sorry" to the she-cat, before he disappeared into the brush.

Firepaw turned to Blackpaw, flicking his tail. "Come on."

Jaypaw, Robinpaw, Blizzardpaw, and Redpaw all stood to comfort the two apprentices; only Leopardpaw and Spiderpaw ignored them, following Eaglestrike into the forest. Darkstorm hesitated, before following Eaglestrike as well; Reedrush paused to wait for her apprentice.

Sootpaw padded forward, feeling shame burn her ears; she could feel the accusing glares that the other apprentices shot at Spiderpaw as if they were burning her own pelt.

To her surprise, Blackpaw gave her a sad smile as she padded towards her.

"I'm sorry, Sootpaw," she mewed. "I couldn't do it...I knew how much you wanted a mentor."

Sootpaw pasted on a smile. "It's okay," she lied. "I don't mind. I can wait."

_Believe me. You can't be more sorry than I am._

**AN: I can't remember if apprentices spar against each other for assessments in the real series. But, either way, the four Clans from the mountains and PeakClan do. They're a bit more communal than the original four Clans of the series.**

**Sorry for the lateness! I've been really busy with like five different story ideas floating around my head, plus a bunch of one-shots...and some external activities too. Sorry sorry sorry. I'll do better, promise. D:**


	10. C h a p t e r 9

**AN: Normally, I do not approve of continued use of time-skips. But, alas...**

**C _h a p t e r _9**

He crouched, his belly fur brushing the dry leaves that littered the forest floor; in the daylight, the leaves above glowed gold, red, and orange; tonight, under the absent light of the new moon, they were all but invisible against the dark, star-studded sky.

Petalcloud had told him not to come back without catching anything; that had been hours ago, but the prey was mysteriously absent. He hadn't even noticed the sun setting; now the new moon hung, unseen, above his head. He knew Petalcloud probably wouldn't be angry if he came back without anything, at least not too angry; she was probably pacing her fur off waiting for him to come back, imagining him being eaten by badgers or something. But he didn't feel like going back without prey in his jaws; it was like admitting defeat, weakness. If there was anything he hated, it was admitting weakness.

Finally, his eyes widened as he caught the scent of a vole; his ears pricked, and he heard it moving over the dry, rattling leaves. He smirked to himself; he was eager to return to his nest, for the night was unseasonably cold. He resisted the urge to shiver; it would only alert his prey, and he would have to continue his search.

He continued to creep forward, ears pricked for every noise; it was almost impossible to spot his prey, so he was forced to rely on his other sense for this catch. He crouched, eyes narrowed, as he thought he made out a shape in the dim light; his twitching ear told him that he was correct. He let out a low, almost silent purr, knowing that his prey was well in reach. For once, he was glad for his pelt; he was practically invisible in the shadows of the night.

He let out a hiss as a twig snapped loudly in the darkness. The vole sprang away with a squeal; he sprang forwards, but he was too late to catch it as it disappeared into the shadows.

He turned, furious, green eyes burning, peering through the darkness. A flame-like pelt met his eyes.

"Firepaw?" he demanded, fur bristling. "What was that about? You scared off my prey, you big lunk!"

Firepaw's amber eyes gleamed in the darkness, and he took a step forward, his face still hidden by the shadows. "Oops." He took another step forward, then let out a low hiss. "At least that little vole gets to fulfill its destiny now. Maybe it'll be thought of by the other voles as a hero. Maybe as the legendary vole that saw a cat and lived. Maybe they'll even make that vole a warrior."

Spiderpaw's tail lashed from side to side with agitation. "Look, if this is about your sister-"

"Of course it's not about her. Why would it be? It's not like some snot-nosed kit decided to get in the way of her becoming a warrior!" He let out a low, rumbling growl.

"It's not my fault she wasn't ready," he spat. "You chased my vole off, you idiot! You're the reason I haven't found any prey yet, aren't you? You've been scaring it all off on purpose!"

Firepaw shoved his muzzle in Spiderpaw's face, eyes flickering like flame. "Yeah? So what if I am? What's a pipsqueak like you planning on doing about it?"

Spideraw let out a furious hiss, unsheathing his claws, only for his ears to flatten as he saw the gleam of more eyes in the darkness; he didn't have to see them to guess who they were. Redpaw and Jaypaw, of course; they were Firepaw's friends. He knew that if he picked a fight with Firepaw now, Redpaw would join in; Jaypaw might only watch – he wasn't the violent sort – but ever since their last encounter, he hadn't exactly been friendly, either.

Firepaw smirked as he saw that Spiderpaw knew he was outmatched. "That's exactly what I expected from a little worm like you," he sneered. "I'll let you off this time...but you had better hope that I don't have to stay an apprentice for another moon after this. I'm not leaving Blackpaw behind."

"How noble," Spiderpaw muttered under his breath. Firepaw's ear swiveled towards him as the ginger tom turned away, but he said nothing, simply flicking his tail to the other two apprentices. Spiderpaw's face burned underneath his dark coat as he watched them disappear into the shadows of the forest.

. . .

"Spiderpaw, you didn't catch _anything? _You were out there for hours!" Petalcloud sounded exasperated, and his ears flattened.

"I just told you I didn't," he snapped. "It's not my fault. There was only one vole in the entire forest, it seemed like, and I missed him."

She shook her head. "I'm disappointed, Spiderpaw. I at least expected you to come back with something. A butterfly would have been better than nothing!" She frowned at him.

"I just told you it wasn't my fault!" he spat. "It's cold out there, okay? The prey is probably all hiding, or something!" His tail lashed. "Get off my back. I'm going to bed."

"Yes, and you're going to be on the dawn patrol first thing tomorrow," Petalcloud said firmly. "I can't have you slacking off, Spiderpaw. We're not sliding back into that, understand?"

He turned to glare at her, and opened his mouth, but she was already heading for the warrior's den; she would probably be the last cat to curl up for the night, it was so late. He spat in disgust, stalking into his own den.

He stopped, then blinked. "Who took my moss?"

None of the cats moved; his ears flattened as he saw Firepaw, Jaypaw, and Redpaw, all feigning sleep.

"Hey, furballs! Who took my moss?" he yowled.

"Quiet down, Spiderpaw, jeez," Robinpaw groaned. "Quit being so loud! You can sleep without moss for one night, can't you?"

He felt like raking his claw over her muzzle as she blinked at him blearily with one green eye open, before she rolled over and curled back up again. He snarled furiously, but there was nothing he could do; at least one apprentice knew who had done it, but none of them were speaking about it.

He let out another hiss, finally flopping down onto the hard dirt, curling up so that his tail tickled his nose just slightly. Annoyance and anger prickled over his pelt, but he had no idea which apprentice had taken his moss; there was no way to prove anything, and accusing anyone would just end up in a brawl.

_This is just great. How am I supposed to be rested for the dawn patrol like this? _He thought. _Let's review my current standing with the apprentices, shall we? Sootpaw barely speaks to me now; she's depressed about not having a mentor. Firepaw's mad at me because Blackpaw isn't a warrior; Redpaw's mad by proxy. Jaypaw and Robinpaw are still angry about that outburst of mine. Blackpaw hasn't spoken to me either...but she never really does anyway. Bluepaw and I are on decent terms, but she's always busy with her medicine cat junk. I don't know how Blizzardpaw feels about me...we haven't really spoken. I always thought he was one of Firepaw's friends, but he wasn't there tonight...Not that I care about him anyway._

_That only leaves Leopardpaw, I guess, and she's a rogue if I ever saw one. I don't trust her at all. There's something funny about her, something that's off...and I'm going to find out what that is. _He shifted slightly, trying to find a more comfortable position, but his hip was still grinding against the hard dirt. _Not that any of it matters. They don't have to like me; I don't need friends. All I need is respect. They don't have to like me, so long as they respect me. And respect is easy to earn when you deserve it._

. . .

He slept as badly as he had anticipated, rolling and shifting his weight trying to find a comfortable position, but failing; he was awake for several hours before exhaustion finally carried him away into fitful dreams, and even then his sleep didn't seem to last nearly long enough, before he awoke to a gentle nudge.

He blinked into Blizzardpaw's blue eyes, and his own eyes narrowed. "Forget the dawn patrol," he growled. "I'm not coming. I'm tired."

Blizzardpaw's gaze was carefully guarded as he stared down at the black apprentice. "Petalcloud won't let you off with just that, and you know it. Come on." He flicked his tail. "You're only going to get into more trouble if you're stubborn."

Spiderpaw glowered at him, then scowled; he knew Petalcloud would be angry with him if he didn't go. All that he could hope was that it would pass quickly, and that no one asked him to do anything that required any effort.

He forced himself to his paws, wincing at the stiffness in his shoulder from the rough night. Blizzardpaw padded out of the den, then stretched as the morning sunlight warmed his fur; Spiderpaw ignored him, padding towards the entrance of camp. Darkstorm and Frostfeather stood at the entrance, waiting impatiently; Spiderpaw glared at Darkstorm, and smirked as the black tom flinched; apparently Spiderpaw still looked like a kit to him.

Frostfeather touched Darkstorm's flank with his tail, before padding out of camp, with her sort-of mate at her side. Spiderpaw glanced at Blizzardpaw, but the white apprentice said nothing, following the two warriors. Spiderpaw looked longingly at the fresh-kill pile, before stalking out of camp behind them.

Frostfeather and Darkstorm said little; Darkstorm seemed intent on ignoring Spiderpaw, which suited him just fine. Frostfeather spoke a little to Blizzardpaw when he asked her questions, but beyond that the patrol was almost silent.

It was only when they were nearly home that Blizzardpaw addressed Spiderpaw again.

"Frostfeather, I think I smell a vole over there," he meowed, flicking his tail. Frostfeather opened her mouth, and nodded.

"Do you want to catch it?"

"Actually, I'd like to watch Spiderpaw do it. He's really good at hunting now," Blizzardpaw purred. "I always seem to scare voles away."

Frostfeather glanced at her nephew; he looked back at her stonily. Then, she nodded. "That sounds fine. Go ahead, but try to hurry; I want to show Leopardpaw some new moves today."

Blizzardpaw nodded quickly, flicking his tail to Spiderpaw. Spiderpaw shot him a glance, wondering what sort of trick he was attempting to pull, but decided that it would be best to just ignore him; he still didn't know whose side the white apprentice was on.

Spiderpaw slid into a crouch, creeping forwards, with Blizzardpaw at his side; Spiderpaw had to grit his teeth together to stop himself from hissing at Blizzardpaw for his clumsiness; the white apprentice was indeed rather loud, and it was no wonder that he scared most of his prey away.

The vole was finally in range; Spiderpaw shot a quick glance at Blizzardpaw, wondering if he intended to spook the vole before Spiderpaw could catch it, just as Firepaw had done, so that he would have to return to the other warriors with nothing. But Blizzardpaw was motionless, his blue gaze set firmly on the vole.

Spiderpaw sprang forward easily, landing right on the little creature, snaring it between his claws and crushing the life out of it before it could make a sound.

"Nice catch," Blizzardpaw purred. "It didn't stand a chance."

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What do you want?"

Blizzardpaw looked confused for a moment; then, his ears flattened slightly, and guilt came over his face. "I just wanted to talk to you, away from the others," he meowed. "That's why I volunteered to go on this patrol. Firepaw hates the dawn patrol."

"Why?"

Blizzardpaw looked down at his paws. "I'm the one who took your moss." Spiderpaw bristled, and the white tom added hastily, "You should be thanking me for it, though. Firepaw wanted to get a bunch of thorns and put them in your nest so that you'd cut yourself the whole night while you thrashed around. You're almost as bad as Sootpaw, in that respect; it must be genetic. But I managed to talk him out of it; I said that it would be better just to take your moss."

Spiderpaw's pelt prickled uncomfortably; he was still confused. "I don't get it. Whose side are you on, exactly?"

Blizzardpaw gave him a small shrug. "No one's, really. I mean, I like Firepaw well enough; he's a good cat at heart, despite his temper. You're not either, you're just different from the rest of us. I don't want to be on either side; it's not really my place, I'm not really involved. It's too bad that Blackpaw couldn't be made a warrior, but she just wasn't ready. But Firepaw...well, he's really angry about all this, as I'm sure you can gather, and in his mind every other apprentice is either with him or against him, and quite frankly it's a bit dangerous to be against him in this matter."

"So you were just saving your own pelt, is that it?"

To his surprise, Blizzardpaw chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. But I was trying to look out for you too, on the nest thing. It could have been a lot worse for you if I hadn't talked him out of it. I've got to be careful, though, or I might find some thorns in my nest."

"But why's he so angry about it all of a sudden?" Spiderpaw demanded. "It's been half a moon since Blackpaw failed her assessment. He's been mostly keeping out of my way since then. Why's he starting all this foxdung now?"

Blizzardpaw sighed quietly. "He's just worried, I guess. Blackpaw isn't improving very much; he thinks she might fail her assessment again, and he wants to be a warrior really badly. He's not sure if he can wait another moon to see if she'll catch up. He doesn't want to make that choice again, because he's not sure which side he'll pick. He doesn't want to betray his sister, though, so he's scared. And in typical Firepaw style, he's turned that fear into anger, and the only one he can blame is you." Then, he perked up slightly. "But I've been trying to convince your dad into helping Reedrush and Blackpaw. He's a really good fighter, and an awesome mentor, too. If anyone can help her, it's him."

"So...you just wanted to apologize, or what?"

Blizzardpaw shrugged. "Yeah, I guess...and to kind of warn you, too. If Blackpaw isn't getting better in her training, then, well...Firepaw's only going to get angrier, and things are only going to get worse. It might be a little beneficial to have some friends on your side." He seemed to be hinting at something, but Spiderpaw wasn't taking the bait; he watched the white tom through narrowed eyes.

"Robinpaw's not really all that mad at you," Blizzardpaw said finally. "She's a really good friend of mine, so I know, believe me. She's less angry about the stuff you said, and more concerned that you never apologized to her. I mean, you guys are cousins; she expected a little courtesy, you know? She kind of thinks you're, ah, a rude furball. Her words, not mine."

Spiderpaw bristled. "It's Jaypaw's fault in the first place! He was yelling at me, so I got mad! Jaypaw's the one who should be apologizing!"

Blizzardpaw shrugged his shoulders once more. "Like I said, I'd rather not pick sides in all of this. I'm just trying to help you out. If you apologize to Robinpaw, she'll forgive you, and Jaypaw might come around too. And with Jaypaw's support, Firepaw might seem a little less menacing. Okay?" His ear twitched. "Frostfeather and Darkstorm are probably getting angry that we're not back yet."

Blizzardpaw turned to go, pushing through the brush; Spiderpaw hesitated, before picking up his vole and following him.

. . .

He paused at camp only long enough to leave the vole in the fresh-kill pile, before he left again to get some more moss from his nest. When he returned, Petalcloud was waiting for him.

"Spiderpaw, I've been looking for you all day!" she meowed. "Where have you been? Hurry up and deliver that moss to Jaggedclaw. We've definitely got some training to do, since you didn't catch anything at all yesterday."

"This isn't for Jaggedclaw!" Spiderpaw growled. Petalcloud frowned at him.

"Spiderpaw, he can hardly go and get it for himself. Deliver it to him, and hurry." Then, she blinked. "What happened to your own nest?"

_Well, your idiot of a son has decided to be a huge pain in my tail, so he enlisted his buddies in stealing it! _Spiderpaw wanted to yowl. _Oh, and he's the reason I didn't catch anything either! Thanks for completely doubting me, Petalcloud! _

However, for once he chose to remain silent; he knew that Petalcloud was fiercely protective of her two foster kits, and she had enough to worry about with Blackpaw's delayed warrior ceremony, let alone Firepaw's antics. Still burning under his fur, he padded towards Jaggedclaw.

"About time you got here," the elder grumbled as Spiderpaw dropped his moss in the entrance. "If it wasn't for your sister, I'd be starving to death. Hurry up with that nest."

"I'm not in the mood for this," Spiderpaw snapped. Jaggedclaw blinked at him slowly, almost curiously with his single eye.

"What's got your tail in a knot today? Was your sister breathing too loudly? Did Petalcloud dare question your impeccable hunting skills? Oh, let me guess, the sun just isn't bright enough for you?"

"Well, where should I start? First, Firepaw and his buddies were trailing me the entire night, making sure I didn't catch any prey. Then, one of them stole my nest, when it was too dark to go and get a new one. And, oh, Blizzardpaw just informed me that Firepaw's going to get even worse, because Blackpaw's training still isn't going well. So I think I have a pretty good reason to be angry, unlike you! All you ever do is lie around and growl at everyone."

Jaggedclaw blinked slowly. "Firepaw's giving you trouble?"

"Yeah, he's mad at me because of his stupid sister. Not that it's my fault Reedrush is a crappy mentor!"

Jaggedclaw eye narrowed. "You best watch your tongue, apprentice, when you're talking about her," he spat.

Spiderpaw tensed, fur bristling, but the scarred tom didn't move. Spiderpaw waited a moment longer, before he started shaping the moss into a nest in silence.

"Sit up," he said quietly, sliding the moss underneath the massive tom, wincing as he always did as Jaggedclaw came crashing back down on his side. "Can't you ever just try to sit down slowly?"

"Can't. Too stiff," he grunted, resting his head on his large paws. "You can go away now, before Petalcloud comes over and yells at you."

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed, but he glanced over his shoulder, and sure enough Petalcloud was watching him, impatience in her gaze. He sighed quietly, and padded towards her, his ears flat against his head.

. . .

The rest of the moon proceeded with much of the same; it seemed that every time he glanced over his shoulder, Firepaw or one of his cronies was watching him with narrowed eyes. The forest was mysteriously devoid of prey whenever he went hunting by himself; Petalcloud grew frustrated with him bringing back nothing day after day, and he could tell that she was as frustrated with herself as she was with him. The other apprentices mostly avoided him; sometimes Blizzardpaw would give him meaningful looks before gesturing to Robinpaw, who almost always seemed to be at his side, but Spiderpaw would ignore him.

He had to replace his nest at least eight times.

But none of that seemed to matter; none of it seemed to faze him in the slightest. He had his gaze set on the Gathering; after all, it would be the second in his life that he was old enough to attend, and surely his father would allow him to meet PeakClan this time? He hadn't done anything particularity notable, but that didn't matter; neither Blackpaw nor Firepaw were attending the Gathering – Firepaw said he didn't want to face them again until he had his warrior name, and Blackpaw was simply too ashamed – which would surely boost his chances.

"You still haven't apologized, have you?" Blizzardpaw asked, coming to sit beside him; Spiderpaw flicked his ear in irritation.

"No, I haven't, and I'm not planning to," he growled. "Quit bugging me about it."

Blizzardpaw blinked at him. "It's okay to admit that you're wrong sometimes, you know. No one will think worse of you. Some might even think better of you for admitting that you can make mistakes."

"Shut up, leave me alone, and stop stealing my bedding," he growled in reply.

Blizzardpaw looked surprised. "Me? It's not me."

Spiderpaw rolled his eyes. "Riiight. You stopped doing it because your poor conscience caught up to you, right?"

Blizzardpaw blinked slowly. "No, Firepaw just hasn't asked me to do it again. I don't know who's doing it, I haven't really been around...do you want me to help you get some more?"

"No one took it today," he meowed. "It's just every couple days. It'll probably happen tomorrow."

Blizzardpaw nodded slowly. "Well, would you like my help tomorrow?"

"I don't need anyone's help! Leave me alone, okay?" Spiderpaw spat. "I'm just waiting for Father to come out and tell everyone who gets to go to the Gathering!"

Blizzardpaw's ears flattened. "Okay," was all he said, as he rose to his paws and padded over to Robinpaw and Jaypaw, who were sitting together facing the BranchPile, probably waiting for Eaglestrike's announcement as well. Robinpaw glanced over at Spiderpaw curiously, but he ignored her, and she quickly looked away again.

Finally, Eaglestrike appeared from the medicine den, looking troubled. He padded towards the BranchPile slowly.

"Silverstar and I have made our decision as to who is going to the Gathering tonight," he said softly, his gray coat looking almost silver in the moonlight. "Reedrush, Petalcloud, Darkstorm, Frostfeather, Ravenwing, Blizzardpaw, Robinpaw, and Jaypaw."

Spiderpaw's fur bristled; he glanced over at Blizzardpaw, and saw that the white tom was beaming and chattering away excitedly with Robinpaw. His eyes narrowed as he saw that Jaypaw was staring right at him, his amber eyes narrowed in cold dislike, before the gray tom looked away.

Hissing curses to himself, Spiderpaw rose to his paws, turning to go; then, there was a surprised ripple in the crowd, and he turned to see that Silverstar was standing in the entrance of the medicine den.

She padded out slowly, almost gingerly; Eaglestrike blinked down at her in surprise. Her fur was unkept and ruffled; her blue eyes seemed almost hollow. She did not face the Clan; she looked up at the BranchPile and her deputy silently.

Forestheart quickly emerged from the medicine den, pressing his pelt against hers, murmuring something in her ear; she glanced at him as well, before saying softly,

"I will lead AshClan to the Gathering tonight."

"Are you sure, Silverstar?" Eaglestrike sounded anxious, and his son did not blame him; Silverstar looked as if a gust of wind would bowl her over. She blinked at her deputy with almost glazed eyes, then nodded, coughing quietly.

"I've kept my duties waiting for two long; tonight is the sixth Gathering since...well. I need to be there. Stonestar needs to see me. I have heard that there are rumors concerning my health." She coughed again, and Spiderpaw's ears flattened; did Silverstar really think that going in such a state would help the Clan at all?

Eaglestrike's ears flattened, and he looked to Shimmerfrost, who was standing in the den entrance as well. She gazed back at him with icy eyes, before wordlessly going back inside.

Finally, he nodded. "Okay, Silverstar," he meowed, and too Spiderpaw's surprise he actually smiled. He sprang down from the BranchPile, touching muzzles with her gently. "I'm glad you're feeling up to it."

Silverstar gave him a small nod, before fixing her Clan with her blue eyes, and flicking her tail towards the camp entrance. Wordlessly, the Clan – Forestheart included, although he had not been named in Eaglestrike's announcement – followed her.

Spiderpaw seethed; he had been passed over again, but there was little he could do about it now. He would like to watch this Gathering, especially with Silverstar representing AshClan, but he was certain that PeakClan's deputy had seen him last time, and it wasn't wise to risk it again. Scowling, he stalked into the apprentice den, only to blink with surprise.

His nest was gone.

Anger crackled over his pelt, and he let out a furious hiss. _Let the PeakClan deputy see me, then. I don't care!_

He headed for the camp entrance. No one tried to stop him.

. . .

He crouched, peering through the ferns, his eyes narrowed suspiciously as he gazed at the moonlight-bathed cats. His gaze flicked over the group; there was that golden apprentice again, Northstar's son. A similar-looking cat was sitting next to him – his sister, perhaps? - but she rose to her paws and sprang towards Bluepaw with a grin on her face. His eyes narrowed in jealousy.

_Medicine apprentices get to go to Gatherings just because they're special, _he thought enviously. _Stupid Bluepaw._

He lied down amongst the ferns, resting his head on his paws, his eyes slightly narrowed as he surveyed the scene; his gaze quickly found PeakClan's deputy, and the tip of his tail twitched nervously, knowing that if Northstar had truly seen him last time, he might be in some serious trouble.

_Who cares? I'm already in trouble all the time anyway, _he thought angrily. _And it's not like I'll go to the next Gathering, either, especially not if Blackpaw fails to become a warrior and Firepaw continues to pester me._

He pricked his ears, trying to pick up some of the chatter, but there were too many cats, and everything seemed to blend together into one giant roar. He nibbled on one paw impatiently, keeping his eyes on the large rock where the leaders sat, hoping that the important part of the Gathering would begin soon.

Then, he went rigid as his gaze met Northstar's. The white tom's eyes narrowed, and Spiderpaw felt his heart thud wildly in his chest; there was no question that he had been spotted. Northstar made a small movement with his tail; Spiderpaw blinked, confused, as Northstar did it again. It was a simple tail-flick, but instead of moving towards Northstar as most beckoning tail movements did, this one was pushing away from the white tom.

_Go,_ Spiderpaw thought. _He's telling me to go._

Northstar made the movement again, then twitched his right ear; Spiderpaw's head sank.

_I have to go now, or he's telling Silverstar, _Spiderpaw realized. His eyes narrowed; this was a Gathering that he absolutely could not miss, and he wasn't going to let PeakClan's deputy get in his way.

_I'll just circle around and hide somewhere else, _he thought. _He can't watch me forever._

Northstar flicked his tail one last time, then looked almost as if he was going to rise to his paws; Spiderpaw's heart caught in his throat, and he quickly began to move backwards, wiggling out of sight, only to pause as Stonestar's voice rumbled over the Gathering. Northstar's attention was instantly diverted to his leader, and Spiderpaw let out a sigh of relief, scooting back up so that he could see.

"We shall begin the Gathering," Stonestar growled quietly. Then, to Spiderpaw's surprise, he smiled at Silverstar. "It's good to see you again, Silverstar. There were rumors about your health."

"Thanks for your concern, but it's not needed," Silverstar mewed, but her weak voice seemed to secure the opposite impression. Stonestar nodded slowly.

"PeakClan is still doing well," he said quietly. "We have a few cases of whitecough, but nothing very serious. Emberflight's kits are doing well, and our apprentices are all learning quickly. The prey is still running well, so I think that this leaf-bare will not be nearly as hard as the last."

_We've still got some time before it's leaf-bare, stupid. Don't be counting your prey before you catch them._

Stonestar continued to speak, but Spiderpaw wasn't paying attention to him; his focus was on Silverstar. The silver leader looked almost as though she wasn't even paying attention; she was staring on her paws with a faintly hollow look in her eyes, looking almost like a silver statue. Only the faint twitching of her flanks as she coughed quietly showed that she was still alive.

Finally, Stonestar stopped speaking, looking at Silverstar expectantly. But she said nothing, still staring at her paws silently. Stonestar glanced at Northstar, but neither of them said anything; finally, Eaglestrike reached up to touch her flank with his tail; she blinked with surprise, coming out of her reverie.

"I'm finished," Stonestar said quietly. Silverstar nodded quickly.

"AshClan is...doing well," she said slowly; she only managed to look up for a moment before her gaze fell back down to her paws. She continued to speak, mumbling too quietly for Spiderpaw or anyone else to hear. Northstar and Stonestar exchanged glances once more.

Then, Silverstar's quiet voice gave way to violent coughing; her back arched as she wheezed for breath, gasping for air as the coughs shook her frail frame. Stonestar's eyes widened in alarm, and he took a step back; Eaglestrike sprang up to Silverstar's side, saying something urgently that couldn't be made out over the force of her coughing.

Shimmerfrost and Bluepaw broke away from the cats they had been talking to, springing forwards; Silverstar looked as though she was still trying to force out words through each cough. Spiderpaw's pelt prickled with alarm as he watched his leader look around wildly, her blue eyes seeming huge in her silver face, before her lids suddenly fluttered closed and she sagged to the side. Eaglestrike managed to catch her, propping her upright with his shoulder before grabbing her scruff.

The Gathering seemed to explode with anxious voices; Stonestar, Northstar, Eaglestrike, and the medicine cats all huddled around Silverstar, until she was no longer visible; her wheezing breath seemed to fill Spiderpaw's ears. With trembling legs, he scrambled to his paws, and gave the Gathering one last look before plunging into the undergrowth, running as quickly back to camp as his fear would allow.

**AN: Maybe now it's time for our plot?**


	11. C h a p t e r 10

**C _h a p t e r _10**

She awoke to rough jostling. Blinking up at Spiderpaw, she frowned at him.

"I didn't steal your nest, if that's what you're wondering," she mumbled groggily.

"No, idiot! Something important happened at the Gathering!" he growled. "Something really bad!"

She blinked at him, confused; his green eyes were wide, and she could smell his fear-scent. Something had really gone wrong at the Gathering. She sat up slowly, still feeling sleepy, rubbing one eye with her paw. "What happened, then?"

"Silverstar was talking and then she started coughing really loudly," Spiderpaw whispered, his voice tight with anxiety. "I think she passed out. The Gathering's definitely over, they're all heading back here-"

"Hang on, hang on," she said slowly, her mind still slowed by sleep. "You weren't supposed to be at the Gathering, were you?"

He boxed her ears with one paw. "This isn't the time to worry about that! Silverstar is sick, _really _sick. Our dad might be Eaglestar sooner than we thought."

Sootpaw's ears flattened; she knew her father would be a good leader, but at the same time she didn't want him to have to have that sort of responsibility so soon. Silverstar hadn't even had her nine lives for a full year...

"I wonder how long she's been sick," she mewed. "I mean, Father's been protective of her for a long time, but...I wonder how much of that was from Chillpaw's betrayal, and how much was from her sickness."

He flicked his tail irritably. "Who cares? All that matters now is that she's sick." His ears pricked, and he turned, flicking his tail to her quickly. "Come on, look!"

She heaved herself to her paws, tripping over one of the sleeping apprentices as she made it to his side. Her eyes widened as she saw Silverstar's limp body being carried into the camp; her scruff was in Eaglestrike's mouth, with most of the weight being carried by Forestheart. They disappeared into the medicine den, with Shimmerfrost and Bluepaw on their tails; the rest of the Clan spread out behind them, looking anxious; instead of returning to their dens, they began talking to one another, their voices slightly shrill with panic.

"Who tripped over me?" a low growl demanded behind them. Firepaw's amber eyes gleamed in the darkness of the den. Sootpaw winced, glancing at Spiderpaw.

"It was me, sorry," she mewed. "But, look at what's going on!"

Firepaw gave Spiderpaw a glare, before rising to his feet and peering out of the den; his eyes widened as he saw the gathering crowd of cats.

"What's going on?" he demanded loudly.

"Silverstar's sick," Sootpaw whispered. "I think she collapsed at the Gathering."

"How do you know that?" Firepaw asked. Sootpaw looked down at her paws, and the ginger tom looked at Spiderpaw.

"I was looking for more moss when I heard them," Spiderpaw meowed; she glanced at him quickly, her yellow eyes wide as she realized he was lying; luckily, Firepaw wasn't paying attention to her alarmed look. "I knew I'd get in trouble if they saw me out so late, so I ran back here. It's obvious what happened, though, I saw them carrying her in."

Firepaw's eyes narrowed, but he said nothing, simply turning back into the den to wake Blackpaw. Sootpaw saw the gleam of more eyes in the gloom, and realized that Leopardpaw and Redpaw were awake as well.

Sootpaw returned her gaze to the medicine den, hoping that Shimmerfrost or Bluepaw would appear and reassure everyone that Silverstar was going to be fine, but the entrance was empty. She nibbled her lip anxiously.

_What will AshClan do if their founder dies?_

. . .

No cat could sleep that night; there was too much excitement and anxiety. Sootpaw could almost smell it on the air, mixed with the Clan's sharp fear-scent.

The apprentices all huddled together, seeking news; Blizzardpaw, Robinpaw, and Jaypaw confirmed Spiderpaw's story, that Silverstar had indeed collapsed at the Gathering. Spiderpaw was quiet, and Sootpaw wondered if he had been spotted at the Gathering by Northstar again, but he obviously couldn't say anything.

At dawn, Eaglestrike appeared, but he did not give any news as to Silverstar's condition. Instead, he ordered several warriors to patrol; the scent markers had to be renewed. If they were not, then PeakClan would understand that AshClan was weak.

Birchpool, Thistlethorn, and Blackpaw obediently shuffled out of camp, but Sootpaw knew that they would want to finish the patrol as quickly as they could, to return home again in hopes of news.

Around sunhigh, Bluepaw appeared to grab a bite to eat, and was immediately pounced on by the other apprentices.

"What's going on?" Sootpaw whispered.

"What's happening? Is Silverstar going to be okay?" Robinpaw asked anxiously.

"What's she sick with? Can it be treated?" Jaypaw inquired.

Bluepaw looked a bit flustered with all of the attention, but also slightly pleased. "Silverstar's really sick, but she's been like this for awhile," she whispered. "The signs started showing up...oh, two moons ago, maybe? Back then she was just coughing a bit, sneezing now and then. Maybe one-and-a-half moons, I can't remember. Anyway, at first she was running a fever. And there for a long time, it was really really high. But in the past...half moon, maybe? I'm awful at keeping time...anyway, kind of recently, she started cooling down. We thought it was a good sign, but her coughs were only getting worse, and sometimes she was a bit delusional."

"Why would Shimmerfrost let her come to the Gathering, then? Or Eaglestrike?"

Bluepaw shrugged. "I don't know...yesterday was the first time in a long time that she had been lucid for any amount of time. I guess they just wanted to hope that she was recovering. And she probably would have tried to go anyway, once we were all at the Gathering. Forestheart would have stayed behind to look after her, but he wanted her to go too, he wanted her to prove to AshClan that she was okay. He didn't want them to doubt her."

"Two moons seems like a really long time," Jaypaw observed. Bluepaw nodded.

"Yeah, it's really weird. I don't really understand it myself, but Eaglestrike says that whatever she has reminds him of the sickness they used to get back home, the forest-sickness. Apparently it always struck in late leaf-fall to early leaf-bare, and took its time killing the inflicted cat."

Blackpaw's eyes were wide. "You really think she's going to die?"

Bluepaw's ears flattened, and for a moment she looked somber. "I'm not sure...but we don't have the right herbs to treat it," she admitted. "I mean, it's not exactly like the forest-sickness – she doesn't have a whole lot of fluid in her lungs, at least not enough to kill her – but it's close enough that we would probably try the forest-sickness cure to help her. But Eaglestrike says that it was all destroyed in the war against FrozenClan."

"So there's nothing you can do?" Sootpaw whispered. Bluepaw blinked at her, her blue eyes dark.

"Unless we can get that forest-sickness herb somehow, then no."

"I don't know why everyone's so worried," Redpaw said loudly. "I mean, she's only lost three lives. She's got seven left!"

Bluepaw's ears flattened. "Yeah. That's just the thing, though...the forest-sickness never stopped at just one life. That's why it was so important during the war against FrozenClan in the old forest; all three forest leaders became infected with it, and it killed them because the cure was gone."

Sootpaw stared at her in disbelief. "So you mean...if you can't fix this, then...Silverstar could die seven times from this disease?"

Bluepaw nodded. Then, a yowl made her leap into the air with fright; Sootpaw recognized the voice as Shimmerfrost's.

"I'm coming!" Bluepaw yowled back, quickly picking up some fresh-kill from the pile. "Sorry, guys," she meowed, before dashing back into the medicine den.

Sootpaw stared at the other apprentices, seeing her horror mirrored in their eyes.

"But, if Silverstar dies..." she trailed off.

Redpaw's fur was ruffled around his shoulders. "I don't see what the big deal is," he blustered. "I mean, Eaglestrike's practically been running everything anyway."

Sootpaw bristled at his insensitivity; she herself couldn't remember a time when Silverstar had led the Clan, but in her dream Silverstar had been filled with love and pride for her Clan. AshClan wouldn't exist without the silver she-cat's determination; how could Redpaw be so callous?

She could see the other apprentices bristling too, but to her surprise it was not Spiderpaw or Blizzardpaw that knocked Redpaw to the ground: it was his idol, Firepaw.

"Don't you talk about her that way," Firepaw snarled down to him. "You might not remember, but Silverstar saved you and your sister when she let you two into the Clan. She didn't have to, but she did it because she wasn't going to let two kits starve." He glanced at the rest of the apprentices. "Most of you don't remember her being leader, but I was five moons old when we beat Lion. I remember everything. She loved this Clan more than anything else." He turned to glare down at Redpaw. "And I will _not _let anyone talk badly about her. Understand?"

Redpaw nodded meekly, and Firepaw let him up. Sootpaw blinked at the ginger apprentice, surprised by his loyalty.

_I shouldn't be surprised, though, _she thought. _He's loyal to his sister to almost a ridiculous extent. It's only natural that he would feel the same way about Silverstar, since she took his sister and mother in._

Firepaw gave Spiderpaw a glare, as if daring him to challenge his words, but the black apprentice remained mute.

"What are we going to do, then?" Blizzardpaw asked. "We can't just let Silverstar die..."

"But if the herbs that could help her were destroyed, what can we do?" Blackpaw asked timidly. "We just have to hope that she's going to be okay...a sickness can't really take away seven lives, can it?"

No one answered her question; they were all too scared of what the answer really might be.

. . .

By sunset, no one had emerged from the medicine den except Eaglestrike, and he only paused a moment to send out the other patrols before he returned to the den. Sootpaw's pelt crawled with anxiety, and she knew the rest of the Clan felt the same way; they were starving without news. The apprentices had spread what little Bluepaw had been able to tell them through the rest of the Clan, but it wasn't enough; the Clan wanted reassurance that their leader would recover, and be the same cat that they all remembered.

Even as night fell, few cats were willing to give up their vigil; some fell asleep right in the center of camp, the luxury of moss forgotten. Sootpaw saw Reedrush trembling beside Jaggedclaw, Darkstorm asleep with his head resting on Frostfeather's flank, Petalcloud with her pelt pressed against Stormshadow's side, Birchpool and Thistlethorn huddling together, while Ravenwing paced anxiously just outside of the medicine den. The apprentices were all together again, except for Leopardpaw, who had gone hunting on her own. Sootpaw had watched her go, faint disbelief stirring in her heart.

_Why would she go hunting now, when we're waiting to hear whether our leader will live or die? _She wondered. _Is she forcing herself to do it, knowing that the Clan must be fed and that it's her duty? Or...does she just not care?_

Sootpaw's ears flattened; she wanted very badly to believe that Leopardpaw was a good cat. The dappled she-cat had saved Sootpaw's life, after all. But, some things just didn't add up about her, and she knew Spiderpaw was suspicious.

She leaned against her brother's warm pelt, slightly comforted by him; for once he was not on the outskirts of the conversation. The other apprentices had pushed their grudges aside – even Firepaw, for the moment – in an attempt to help their leader in some way, as small as it might be,

"What can we do?" Firepaw asked for the umpteenth time; the ginger apprentice had a hard time standing still and waiting for news. He was pacing again, as he had been on and off since they had spoken with Bluepaw.

"There's nothing we can do," Blackpaw said softly, as she always did. This time, however, Firepaw stopped pacing and glared at her.

"That's not good enough!" he spat. "We should be doing _something! _We should be helping her somehow! There has to be something we can do!"

Blackpaw flinched away from his words, her ears flattened against her head, and Firepaw sighed. He touched her shoulder with his nose gently.

"Sorry. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at this stupid disease, I guess...I just hate not being able to help." He was pacing again, his ginger tail lashing back and forth. Redpaw watched him; for once there was not admiration in his amber eyes, but caution as he regarded the older apprentice.

"It's in StarClan's paws now," Jaypaw said calmly. "We have to trust them. If it's Silverstar's time, then there's nothing we can do. But I don't think StarClan will take AshClan's leader just yet."

"They didn't stop Nightshade when they killed our mom," Firepaw growled. "Why wouldn't they take her too, huh?"

Sootpaw blinked slowly, exchanging glances with Spiderpaw; she knew that Firepaw and Blackpaw had once had two mothers, Petalcloud and some other she-cat, but eve Ravenwing didn't know the full story. The name Nightshade, however, felt familiar, although she couldn't quite place it from Ravenwing's stories.

"No offense, or anything, but your mother was a rogue when she died, and Nightshade was a rogue too," Blizzardpaw meowed. "They weren't really StarClan's business. But Silverstar's a Clan leader. She's important to StarClan."

"Are you saying my mother wasn't important?" Firepaw spat. "She was important to me! And besides, Nightshade was working with FrozenClan!"

"FrozenClan turned their back on StarClan. There was nothing they could do," Blizzardpaw said gently. "I know your mother was important to you, Firepaw. I'm not trying to say that she wasn't."

The apprentices were quiet a moment, and Sootpaw looked up into the starry skies, wondering if their ancestors were watching. The moon hung above them, almost full except for a small slice on one side. Normally the moon's gentle glow was comforting, but tonight the moonlight felt cold. Chilling.

_Did Chillpaw know anything about this? _She wondered. _He was asking for my help, and he never mentioned any sickness...but I have the feeling that he couldn't say more than that...it was hard for him to communicate through that weird mist. _She swallowed. _If I had gone to him sooner, made it through the mist...would he have been able to tell me that Silverstar was sick? _

Her eyes widened. _He lived with FrozenClan. If there's a chance that some of the forest-sickness herb survived, FrozenClan would know where. So maybe...maybe if I can talk to him, he could tell me where it is and how we can help Silverstar!_

She swallowed; it might be dangerous, but it could also be the only shot that Silverstar had at surviving.

_I have to try it, _she thought. _Tonight, maybe, if I have the dream...I've got to. For Silverstar. And for AshClan._

Firepaw was still pacing, and she looked away from the moon to watch him. _It pains him that he can't do anything to help. He's a strong cat; he doesn't like feeling powerless. _She glanced at Spiderpaw. _There are some things that strength just can't fix._

"If we want to help the Clan, why don't we go hunting like Leopardpaw did?" she suggested quietly. "No one's been hunting today except her, but we've all been eating." Her stomach rumbled quietly as she spoke; she and Spiderpaw had picked halfheartedly at a thrush, but her anxiety had caused her stomach to roll too much for her to eat.

Firepaw stopped pacing to stare at her a moment. Then, he scowled.

"I'm practically worthless when it comes to hunting," he growled. "I don't think I could catch anything right now. I'm too...impatient." She knew he was thinking of his assessment; it seemed almost like another life to her now, where the only thing that she had been worried about was whether or not she would have a mentor. Now, it felt almost as if that didn't matter; Silverstar might actually die. Her training just seemed...insignificant now.

"I could try," Blackpaw said nervously. "I'm, um, pretty good at hunting."

"I'm not all that good, but I could try; any piece of prey would help," Jaypaw offered. Blackpaw smiled at him, and he let out a quiet purr.

Robinpaw's ears flattened. "I'm probably chase off anything I tried to catch right now," she meowed, flicking her tail towards her bad leg. "I really have to concentrate to be quiet, and right now I'm just too worried."

Blizzardpaw pressed his pelt against hers. "Same here."

"I'm still pretty clumsy, and I haven't learned much myself," Soopaw admitted. Redpaw nodded silently.

Slowly, the apprentices all turned to Spiderpaw; he glowered at them with his icy green eyes.

"I would try to hunt, but I've been having really miserable luck lately," he said coldly, watching Firepaw. "I think I'd be more of a hindrance than anything. I might accidentally scare all the prey away."

Firepaw met his gaze steadily, before sighing. "I think you'll have better luck, for tonight at least," he growled quietly. "You might as well give it a go."

The ghost of a smirk flitted over Spiderpaw's muzzle, but he nodded, rising to his paws. Blackpaw looked worried, and the black tom shot her a glance.

"I'll hunt separately from you two, if that's what you're worried about," he growled. Blackpaw's ears flattened, but neither she nor Jaypaw objected.

Spiderpaw loped towards the camp entrance, disappearing into the darkness; after a brief moment, Blackpaw and Jaypaw followed.

Sootpaw was suddenly overcome by weariness; she yawned slowly, resting her head on her paws. She didn't want to go to sleep, not when there might still be news, but at the same time, if there was even a chance of having that dream...and she was so exhausted from all of the waiting and fear...and the moonlight wasn't really that cold at all, as if drifted over her pelt...

_She opened her eyes, and blinked with surprise as she found herself surrounded by mist. There was no prologue this time, no scene of Chillpaw's betrayal, and she felt a rush of gratitude rush through her. But, peering through the mist, she also saw that Chillpaw's blue eyes were not beckoning her as they had before._

_Sudden fear seized her; what if she had waited too long, because of her fear? What if whatever strange connection Chillpaw had with her had faded? What if she had missed her only chance at speaking with him?_

_Movement caught her eye, and she turned, her heart leaping as she saw blue eyes gleaming at her through the mist. Then, she blinked as she realized that they were framed by jet-black fur._

"_Moonpaw?" she called, and the black apprentice bounced forwards, the moon marking on her chest glowing as if filled with starlight._

"_Sootpaw," she purred, nuzzling her friend's side._

"_Moonpaw, I need your help," Sootpaw said anxiously. "I need to find Chillpaw."_

_Moonpaw almost looked confused. "I thought you didn't want to meet with him, sillypaws?"_

"_I was scared," she admitted, "but I think I need to now. I think he has some information for me."_

_Moonpaw smiled. "He certainly does!" she purred. "It might not be what you expect."_

_Sootpaw was confused, but it didn't matter, so long as Moonpaw could help her find the white tom. "Where is he?"_

"_You can't find him, but he can find you," she said mysteriously. "Hang on just a moment, okay?"_

"_Wait," Sootpaw meowed, but the black apprentice had already charged off into the mist. Sootpaw already found herself longing for the black apprentice's warm pelt; the mist was cold as it curled around her paws, and she shivered._

_It felt like an eternity before she saw blue eyes gleaming at her again._

"_Moonpaw?" she asked tentatively. She heard a low purr._

"_I'm afraid not," the voice said, and her heart began to thump in her chest as she realized that it was Chillpaw._

"_Don't worry," Moonpaw whispered in her ear, appearing at her side as if from thin air, as imaginary friends often did. "It's okay."_

_Sootpaw glanced at her, and swallowed, feeling her fear rise up in her again as Chillpaw's blue eyes gleamed at her. She felt almost as if her legs were stuck again, as if she couldn't move, just as before._

But this time, I have to, _she thought. _This time, I've got to help Silverstar.

_Feeling Moonpaw's warm fur against her side, she was emboldened; slowly, she took a step forward, and the mist almost seemed to clear. She took another, and another, the Dark Forest appearing more solidly through the mist, walking towards Chillpaw's glowing eyes._

"_Don't be afraid," he said quietly as she approached. "I won't hurt you. You have my word on that."_

_Chillpaw slowly seemed to take shape in front of her eyes; she saw the slight smirk curling his white muzzle, how his short white fur seemed to gleam even in the darkness, how his blue eyes watched her approach without a trace of emotion. She grew nearer and nearer, the mist dissipating more and more, until she could almost touch him._

_Gently, slowly, Chillpaw reached towards her with his muzzle. Their noses collided, and for a moment Sootpaw's fur almost seemed to stand on end, as she felt indescribable cold seep through her pelt, through her skin, deep into her bones. She drew back with a cry, but the sensation was gone almost immediately, and so was the mist._

_Chillpaw smiled as she looked around wildly; she was finally here, in the Dark Forest, the place where no starry paws dared tread. Everything was dark – the earth, the trees, the rocks – and as she blinked into the sky, she shivered as she saw that only one star hung there, gleaming._

"_The north star," Chillpaw said, following her gaze upwards. "A very special star for most Dark Forest cats. But not for us."_

"_Us?" Sootpaw echoed; she turned to look behind her, but Moonpaw had vanished._

"_Yes, us," another voice, this one unfamiliar, rumbled. Sootpaw turned back, and let out a squeak of surprise; a gray tabby had appeared by Chillpaw's side. One yellow eye gleamed at her, glowing like the sun itself, and her throat tightened as she realized that he did not have another._

_She took a step backwards, filled with fear._

"_Don't fret, pet, I won't hurt you," the unfamiliar tom meowed._

"_Who are you?" Sootpaw whispered. "I don't understand. I thought only Chillpaw was here..."_

_Chillpaw laughed quietly, but it was a laugh entirely devoid of any sort of amusement. "Of course not, Sootpaw. I'm not the only cat that StarClan has deemed unworthy to enter their realm. But I am one of the few who does not wish to enter it."_

_Her ears flattened; she was confused. "What are you talking about?"_

"_Don't be frightened," the one-eyed tom said. "Neither of us or any of the cats that we travel with are going to hurt you. You're very important to us, Sootpaw. We need you."_

_She took another step backwards, half hoping that the mist would return and shield her from their gaze._

"_I told you that you shouldn't have come, you only confused her more," Chillpaw growled; the one-eyed tom smirked._

"_You couldn't have found her without me, don't forget," he growled. Then, he dipped his head to the dappled apprentice. "My name is Blight, pet. You've probably heard of me by now."_

_Her eyes widened. _Of course! He's the tom that helped beat ShellClan during the war, _she realized. _He's also the one that brain-washed...Nightshade! That was where I remembered her from. She was his follower...and an old friend of Bramblethorn's. She saved Silverstar's life during the battle with Lion. Is she here too?

"_My Nightshade isn't here," Blight meowed, as if he had managed to guess what she was thinking. "She made it into StarClan, thanks to that last noble act of hers. I wasn't so, ah, lucky."_

_She stared at him, feeling real fear creep through her pelt; Chillpaw had only ever killed one cat, and that had been in revenge. Blight was a cold-blooded murderer, even more so than Chillpaw. He had killed countless cats during the war and after it._

But how could he be here? FrozenClan turned their back on StarClan. They became like...rogues.

"_What are you thinking about now?" Blight asked. "Why I only have one eye, perhaps? The Dark Forest heals the wound that killed us, but unlike in StarClan, the others aren't healed. My, ah, old friend Snake, for example, regained his eye when he joined StarClan. Dark Forest cats are not so privileged."_

_She simply stared at him, and he frowned. "Did I guess wrong?"_

"_She's probably wondering how either of us came here. I turned my back on StarClan when I murdered Silverstar, that's true," Chillpaw meowed, "but I was still a Clan cat when I died. I still carry a Clan name, technically – although, Sootpaw, I would prefer if you referred to me as Chill here. You, however, don't carry a Clan name at all."_

_Blight nodded slowly. "Yes. But contrary to what I told Nightshade, I kept my belief in StarClan. It wasn't a reverent belief, but a belief nonetheless. I had witnessed their power first paw; I knew they existed. I also had a sort of grudge against them, I suppose, which was enough to land me here when I died."_

"_What do you want from me?" Sootpaw asked nervously. "I just came here to ask you a question, Chillpaw."_

"_What we want from you is quite simple, but I doubt we'll have time to discuss it; time passes so much more quickly in the outside world than it does here, I'm afraid," Chillpaw said. "And, again, I'd prefer Chill. You may ask your question now, for the time being."_

_She swallowed; she had intended to ask Chillpaw about Silverstar, but now her mind was bubbling over with new questions of what Chillpaw really wanted from her._

Like he said, that can wait. Silverstar can't, _she thought firmly._

"_You lived in FrozenClan with that rogue, Lion," she said. "Did the forest-sickness ever trouble the Clan? Do you know how to cure it?"_

_Chillpaw shook his head. "We never had a case of it, to my knowledge. Even if we had, no one but the medicine cat and leader of FrozenClan knew where the cure was, so it didn't matter; Leafshadow was dead, and so was her old apprentice, and Northstar was gone. StarClan never showed Slaughter where it was, to my knowledge. The only cat who might know where it is would be Northstar."_

_Her ears pricked. "So there is still some of it left?"_

_Chillpaw nodded, and glanced at Blight. Blight smiled._

"_I suppose it's my duty to explain it, since they were my Clan," he meowed. "During the war on the forest Clans, Northstar knew the forest-sickness would be a great ally to him. He knew he had to destroy the herb in the forest, and so he did. But he also knew that it could still kill mountain cats, especially if they were exposed to it in battle. That's often how it's transmitted, you know, in battle. Blood spilling, open wounds...it's practically a breeding ground for the disease. So he made sure that FrozenClan had their own supply. Unfortunately, it's in a rather sacred place, one that only medicine cats and leaders know the location of."_

_Sootpaw's eyes gleamed. "So if we can get Northstar to show us where this place is, we could get the herb?" she asked eagerly._

_Blight laughed. "Good luck with that. But if you could, pet, then it would work."_

_Sootpaw almost trembling with excitement; even the prospect that she could help Silverstar in some way was exciting._

"_I'm sure the others have already thought of this, though," Chillpaw said. "Quite a few of your Clanmates are survivors from the war, remember. They know how Northstar is."_

_Sootpaw blinked slowly, her momentary happiness disappearing as quickly as the mist. _

So I really haven't accomplished anything, _she thought, then glanced at Blight quickly, _except get myself into trouble.

"_Are we going to explain what we need her for now?" Blight asked, glancing at Chillpaw. Chillpaw cocked his head to one side, thinking, then shook his head._

"_There's no need to confuse her further, and she's already worried for her leader," he said. "Besides, I doubt we'd have the time to explain everything, which wouldn't help us at all. We've got the time to wait."_

"_Some of us do," Blight meowed quietly. "Some of us do not."_

"_Has she been wailing about that again? I've told her that we'll have enough time. She lived a decent lifetime, she won't fade for a long time yet. She'll have plenty of time."_

"_She's still worried. You know how she is."_

_Chillpaw laughed his strange, humorless laugh. "You're right. We'll reassure her again when we return."_

_Sootpaw stared at the two of them, completely confused by their conversation. Chillpaw gave her another small smile, seeing her bewilderment._

"_We'll leave you now, Sootpaw, and contact you again when we can," he said. "You'll be waking up soon, but until then I'm sure you'd rather dream of something more pleasant."_

"_How do I know that I can get back here?" Sootpaw asked._

"_Trust us, pet," Blight said. "We got you here in the first place. Trust me, we can bring you back."_

"_I think your friend is here to take you home," Chillpaw said. Sootpaw turned, seeing Moonpaw waiting for her, grinning._

"_You can see her?" she asked, turning back to the Dark Forest cats._

"_Of course. She's part of you, and you're here; why wouldn't we be able to see her?" Chillpaw asked. "Hurry, now. We'll speak to you again soon."_

_Sootpaw gave both toms another nervous glance, before she rose to her paws again and hurried towards her friend. Moonpaw reached up to touch her nose; as she did, the Dark Forest almost seemed to slide away from Sootpaw, and the mist returned, clouding her vision._

"_Come on," Moonpaw purred, still grinning. "I make a wicked awesome dream for us. Hurry up!"_

_She charged forwards, disappearing into the mist. Sootpaw glanced over her shoulder one last time, but could see nothing through the mist; quickly, she hurried to follow Moonpaw._

_Moonpaw brought her to a clearing, one that Sootpaw recognized from her dream, with the blue flowers dotting the field._

"_Moonpaw?" she called, padding into the flowers. As she did so, everything seemed to stretch; she was suddenly much taller than before, and as she blinked down at herself, she saw that her fur had turned to Moonpaw's sleek black. A crescent moon marking gleamed on her chest, and she found herself grinning; she had become Moonpaw._

"_Moonlight now, silly, at least for this dream" she heard Moonpaw whisper in her ear. "The best warrior in AshClan! The prettiest, the fastest, the most graceful!"_

_Delighted, Sootpaw raced forwards through the flowers, running faster than she ever had before. The wind sang in her ears as the sun warmed her dark fur, and she felt almost as if she was flying._

"_Thanks, Moonpaw," she whispered. "I like this dream a lot better."_

**AN: A side note on Blight; I meant to mention this earlier, but Blight's use of "pet" contrasts very well with Forest's use of "princess," just as their separate kidnappings of she-cats did, which was intentional. Forest captured Silver out of necessity; he treated her kindly, and they forged a close bond. His nickname for her places her above himself, like royalty, because status and control mean very little to him. Blight, on the other hand, brutally crushed Belladonna's mind, warping her until she became Nightshade. They had a close bond too, but it was extremely unstable and dangerous. Blight's nickname, "pet," places Nightshade as being lower than him, beneath him, so to speak. Even when he called her by it with fondness, it was also reminding her that she was only his plaything, powerless to stop him from doing whatever he wants. Also, even in death he refers to her as "my Nightshade" because of his control issues. And now he's calling Soot "pet," which means...well, think of it however you wish.**

**So, my computer's internet has been out for nearly two days; I had plenty of time without it, so I started writing this chapter, and finished it in only a few hours, which was nice! And my internet's back up, so as a treat have this extra-early update~!**


	12. C h a p t e r 11

**C _h a p t e r _11**

He glanced over his shoulder; he could hear Jaypaw moving around in the undergrowth, and he rolled his eyes. Jaypaw was a pretty balanced cat; he wasn't good at hunting or fighting, but he wasn't really bad, either. He was good enough to become a warrior when it was his time, but he would never really shine above his Clanmates. Still, he knew that Jaypaw was one of those cats that didn't really mind either way; he had always been relaxed, very different from his dark cousin.

Blackpaw, however, was impossible to hear; she was definitely a gifted hunter, although it seemed that StarClan had completely removed any ability to fight in return. Spiderpaw's lip curled; thanks to Blackpaw's own incompetence, he had Firepaw on his tail.

He shook himself; it wouldn't help to think about either of them right now, not when he was supposed to be hunting. For the first time in nearly a moon, he might actually be able to catch something while he was out in the forest.

He opened his mouth, letting the faintly sweet scents of the forest flood in; his eyes narrowed as he heard leaves rustling, and his sense of smell told him that it was a shrew. Lowering himself to the ground, he crept forward towards the sound, careful not to make any sounds of his own.

The bright moonlight made everything easy to see; he saw the shrew within moments, and smiled. It was well within his reach, and completely unaware of his presence. He crouched, resisting the urge to lash his tail in eagerness, preparing for the deadly strike.

There was a rustle in the undergrowth nearby; Spiderpaw's head turned, and in the same movement the shrew sprang forward. Spiderpaw let out a hiss of anger, but knew the little creature would be too fast for him to catch; this time, he allowed himself to lash his tail back and forth. He opened his mouth again, seeking the scent of whatever had scared away his prey; his mind was already buzzing with dark thoughts of Firepaw, Redpaw, and Jaypaw. But the scent was not male at all; he blinked in surprise, and let out a furious hiss.

"Leopardpaw!"

The dappled she-cat appeared, padding to the exact spot where the shrew had vanished. She gave him an amused glance, her green eyes glinting in the light of the moon.

_She's sneakier than any cat I've ever seen; no way she didn't make that noise on purpose! _He thought furiously.

"Why did you do that?" he demanded. "Firepaw and I have a truce, for the moment!"

Leopardpaw smirked at him. "I'm not on Firepaw's side, or yours, for that matter. Your apprentice foolery is not my concern."

"So, you just thought you'd mess with me anyway?" he growled. Leopardpaw shrugged.

"Sure, if that's what you want to call it. I have some interesting information for you, though."

"I don't want any of your information, flea-bag," he snarled. "I don't trust you one bit. You're probably lying your fur off."

She rolled her eyes. "It's not like I would gain much from that, you know. But I'm sure you'd like to know who is stealing your nest."

This time, it was his turn to roll his eyes. "Yeah, right. It's totally not Firepaw or one of his friends. Definitely not."

She let out an amused purr. "Correct. It's not."

He bristled. "What are you talking about? It has to be Firepaw. Blizzardpaw told me that it was his idea!"

"The first time, yes," Leopardpaw meowed. "But not the times after that. That was someone else with his or her own agenda. Firepaw decided not to ask questions because, like you, he assumed that it was someone on his side, and the identity of the moss-thief didn't matter. I can tell you that it's not who you think, though."

"Is it you?"

Leopardpaw sighed. "It's not who you think, didn't I just say that? I know you're suspicious of me. Obviously I'm not the one."

His eyes narrowed. "You could just be lying to make me question the other apprentices, make me paranoid," he growled. "How do I know you're not lying, and it isn't Firepaw? Or you?"

She smiled, her white fangs glinting in the darkness. "You don't, I suppose. You're right, this could all be a fun little game of mine. But I think you'll find that I've already planted the seed of suspicion in your mind, and whether you tend to it or not, it will grow all the same." She yawned. "I think I've caught enough prey for tonight; I'm going back to camp. See you around, Spiderpaw." She flicked her tail at him, and he watched with narrowed eyes as she vanished into the undergrowth without a sound.

. . .

He padded into camp for once feeling pleased with himself; he had caught plenty of prey, surely enough to convince Petalcloud that the last half moon had only been some sort of fluke. But Petalcloud spared him barely a glance as he entered the camp; she was whispering to Stormshadow anxiously. Spiderpaw blinked, realizing that he might have missed some important news while he was hunting; he padded towards the other apprentices after depositing his catches on the fresh-kill pile.

Only some of them were even awake; Sootpaw, Blizzardpaw, and Robinpaw were all asleep. Redpaw and Firepaw were still awake and watching the camp entrance; from their expressions, Spiderpaw guessed that nothing had been resolved.

He sat down beside Sootpaw, glancing down at her; she didn't look peaceful, but that wasn't surprising. Blizzardpaw had been right when he said their fitful sleeping must be genetic; Sootpaw was twitching in her sleep, and as he watched she shuddered from nose to tail.

_What if she's getting sick too? _He thought anxiously, the fur around his shoulders ruffling with discomfort at the very thought. He wasn't sure what he would do without her; they had a bit of a tough relationship at times, but he knew it wasn't easy to put up with him.

He lied down beside her, pressing his pelt against hers as if it warm her; to his relief, she wasn't actually cold or hot; the shudder was probably just from whatever dream she was having. He yawned slowly, feeling weary, and rested his head on his own paws, blinking up at the moon. He was tired, but perhaps not quite enough to sleep just yet.

_Was Leopardpaw telling the truth, or just lying to me? _He wondered. _She was probably only trying to make me suspicious of the other apprentices, those that aren't involved in Firepaw's bullying...but at the same time, I still have to wonder...she was right, she planted this idea and I can't let it go, I just keep nibbling at it like it's a piece of fresh-kill..._He let out an irritated growl. _But who besides Firepaw and his friends would have a motive, anyway? Blizzardpaw said that Robinpaw isn't really mad at me...but then again, maybe she's doing it because I haven't apologized? Not that I'm going to, or anything. It could be Blackpaw, as some sort of revenge too, but that doesn't make any sense either; she's not the vindictive type. It could be Blizzardpaw, trying to stay on Firepaw's good side...or maybe it's Sootpaw, although I don't know why she would bother, unless her weird dreams are telling her that she has to. _His whiskers twitched with amusement at the thought. Then, he frowned, as something else occurred to him.

_Did her dreams warn her that something like this would happen? _He wondered. _Was she too scared to tell anyone? Did she think that she would be made fun of, or that they wouldn't believe her? _He blinked up at the stars, feeling a prickle of nervousness in his belly; if Sootpaw thought that it was her fault that Silverstar was sick, she would never forgive herself.

_No, _he decided. _She would never do anything like that. She would tell our father if she thought her dreams had something to do with Silverstar, or if they were warning her about something happening to the Clan. But...that brings up another question, I suppose._

_Why did StarClan give her these dreams? Why not me? We're siblings, so wouldn't we share in that ability? I think it'd be useful to have dreams from StarClan, and I could definitely handle them better than Sootpaw...she's terrible under stress, especially since she doesn't have any training._

_Maybe she has the dreams because our mother used to be a medicine cat? Did she pass her connection with StarClan down to us? But then, why only to Sootpaw? She doesn't even look like our mother. I'm the one with her build and fur and eyes...It just doesn't make any sense._

He sighed softly; only StarClan themselves knew the answer to his questions, and even he wasn't arrogant enough to assume that they would speak freely with him. StarClan only spoke to medicine cats and leaders, everyone knew that.

And, apparently, to Sootpaw.

His nose wrinkled as he realized something else. _Ugh, does that mean she's going to be leader some day? Like if Silverstar dies and Eaglestrike becomes Eaglestar? Is that what that all means? Is StarClan trying to prepare her for that, or something? Maybe she's getting secret training in her dreams..._He laughed to himself quietly. He had seen Sootpaw hunt, and if she really was being trained in her dreams, then StarClan was apparently full of terrible mentors.

He realized that he had raised his head slightly to peer up at the stars and the moon; he lowered them back onto his paws, then yawned, his little pink tongue curling up over itself. The yawn seemed to release his weariness, as he felt it flood his body.

_If we do get news, it won't be in the middle of the night, _he thought drowsily. _Might as well..._

. . .

It was the sun in his eyes that woke him up the next morning; he blinked sleepily, peering blearily at the sliver of sun peeking over the horizon. He frowned to himself, then glanced around; he was surrounded by a ring of sleeping apprentices.

He yawned silently, then stretched, limbering himself up; the night had been chilly, and he had grown slightly stiff by sleeping on the hard ground. He rose to his paws, shaking his coat – he was half surprised not to be covered in a layer of frost – before glancing around the camp; the other warriors of the Clan all appeared to be asleep as well; as far as he could tell, no one had returned to their den.

His ears flattened. _Is this how it's going to be from now on, until she dies? We're going to be hanging on, waiting for news every night, watching our leader's lives slip away from us?_

By his side, Sootpaw stirred; she blinked slowly, her yellow eyes looking almost glazed.

"What did you dream of?" Spiderpaw asked. "Anything...special?"

She glanced at him, and then looked down at her paws. "Yeah." Her voice was soft, but he could still hear the tremor of anxiety running underneath it.

"Are you going to tell anyone about it?" he demanded. She glanced at him.

"I'm pretty sure our father has already drawn the same conclusion as me, if that's what you mean," she answered. He flicked his ear at her, irritated that she wouldn't tell him more, but it didn't really matter; it sounded like she only knew as much as Eaglestrike did, and what use was that?

The rest of the Clan slowly began to wake up as well; the camp was filled with the murmurs of low voices, as each warrior made sure that no new news had been spread, before they began watching the medicine den uneasily once more.

Eaglestrike emerged from the medicine den, and Spiderpaw's ears pricked; a ripple went through the Clan as they whispered amongst themselves, wondering what the deputy had to say.

_He's probably just setting up the dawn patrol, _Spiderpaw assured himself. _I'm sure it's nothing. Silverstar's condition probably hasn't changed at all...or maybe she's gotten better..._

Eaglestrike's shoulders were hunched slightly; he moved as if to stand on the BranchPile, only to pause as he realized that there was no point; he had the Clan's undivided attention, and it was silent enough to hear a feather fall.

The Clan blinked at him silently, waiting for his news. Eaglestrike hesitated, his ears flat against his head, and Spiderpaw's heart felt as though it was sinking into his paws like a stone.

"During the night...Silverstar lost a life," Eaglestrike said quietly. The Clan was completely silent, watching him.

"Does that mean...StarClan healed her? And she's well again?" Reedrush asked, her voice tight with anxiety. "Is she going to be okay?"

Eaglestrike shook his head. "It appears that StarClan could not completely wipe out the disease. She's reverted to the early stages of it again; all she has now is a light cough and a fever. But if we can't cure it, then she will lose another life."

"Is it...is it possible that someone else might catch this disease too? Where did it come from?" Darkstorm asked, pressing his pelt against Frostfeather's.

"We aren't sure where it came from yet...however, it is extremely similar to the forest-sickness, and we believe it probably came from the same place, the old forest. It might have been passed to us during the battle with Lion's cats; they could have been carriers of the disease. Chillpaw's attack would have exposed her to it again, since he also came from there. That's probably why she became ill first."

Spiderpaw's eyes widened; was his father implying that other cats might become sick as well?

"But if that's true, couldn't PeakClan have sick cats as well?" Stormshadow wondered.

Eaglestrike nodded. "If that is indeed where it came from, PeakClan probably has cats that are becoming ill. Shimmerfrost believes that the incubation period of this disease varies from cat to cat...Silverstar presented with signs first because of her double exposure. But if there are more cats that are sick here in AshClan...it won't be long. That is why if any of you are coughing or running a slight fever, or even feeling just a bit under the weather, you need to see Shimmerfrost immediately. It might only be whitecough; we can take care of that. But if it is indeed this mystery illness, then we can try to slow down the process.

"We are going to try and meet with Northstar soon, if we can. Because this disease is similar to the forest-sickness, we hope that it can be treated in the same way. Only Northstar knows where FrozenClan's supply of the herb can be found."

Frostfeather's tail lashed. "What if he won't give it to us? What if PeakClan decides that now would be the perfect moment to try to take their territory back?"

"Then we will fight them, of course," Eaglestrike said gently. "Don't think that we won't defend our territory. But I believe that Northstar will ally with us, in this matter; getting to FrozenClan won't be an easy matter, too dangerous for a single warrior, and we don't know who resides there now. Tremor and the other rogues said they were going there, but there is obviously no way to know if they made it or not."

He swept his gaze over his Clan, and his yellow eyes softened. "Please, everyone, do not worry. We are going to do everything that we can do to make sure that AshClan stands strong. StarClan has not forsaken us; they will help us, in the end. Don't worry."

He dipped his head to them, before turning and disappearing into the medicine den; instead of bursting into anxious whispers and yowls as Spiderpaw had expected, the Clan was oddly silent.

He glanced at Sootpaw. "Anything you didn't know?" he said softly. She shook her head.

"Hey, hang on a minute," Blizzardpaw said slowly. "Any cat that fought in the battle against Lion could be sick, right?"

Spiderpaw and the others glanced at him. "Yeah?"

"Well...if we could have gotten it by fighting them...then what about us apprentices? What if our mentors are infected? Could we be getting sick too?"

Spiderpaw's eyes widened at the thought. _Petalcloud fought in that battle, _he realized, feeling chilled; he shivered. _She could get sick...and maybe me too. Or...maybe not. We've never really trained together for battle, at least not often, and never with our claws unsheathed or anything...But Stormshadow fought in that battle, and so did Darkstorm, Bramblethorn, and Eaglestrike...so Jaypaw, Firepaw, Blackpaw, and Blizzardpaw could all be sick. And then if they're carrying the disease and they sparred with the rest of us, all of the apprentices could be sick, and then if we were sparring with our own mentors..._

He swallowed anxiously, feeling another chill run over his fur. Looking at the other apprentices, he could see his own fear and uncertainty reflected in their eyes.

. . .

At sunhigh, Bluepaw came out, her blue eyes dark. She was immediately beset by the other apprentices, just as she had been before. But this time, they only had one question:

"What was it like?"

She blinked at all of them, and her ears slowly flattened. "I didn't see her die, if that's what you mean," she mewed. "But..." She looked down at her paws. "I heard it. See, she was getting colder and colder...I guess that's one of the things that makes this different from the forest-sickness. The cats died from that when they drowned in the fluid that built up in their lungs. But with this disease, they just get colder and colder, until they..." She shuddered. "We all knew the end was near; we just had that feeling, you know? Shimmerfrost was watching, and Eaglestrike was pacing, and Forestheart was right up next to her trying to keep her warm...and I was just looking for something to do, anything to do, so that I didn't have to watch. I was sorting herbs, and then I heard it...it was just a sort of sigh, you know? Just a little exhale, but I could _feel _it, you know? Like right inside of me. And then Forestheart made this _noise_, this like...I don't know what it was, but it was so full of _pain, _and it sounded like it was coming right from his bones, like it was being ripped out of him. And the whole time, Shimmerfrost was silent, she just watched..." Bluepaw trailed off; Spiderpaw moved forwards, pressing his pelt against hers. He saw some of the other apprentices stiffen with surprise out of the corner of his eye, but paid them no attention.

Bluepaw smiled, nuzzling his shoulder, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "Thanks," she said quietly, then sighed, plowing forwards. "I was really scared that she wasn't going to come back...that the disease would take all of her lives in one swoop, you know? It felt like forever before she started breathing again. But her breathing was easy, and light, and for a moment I thought that she might actually be okay, that everything would be fine...but then she coughed, and it was like..." Bluepaw shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Bluepaw," Blackpaw meowed. Redpaw moved forward to lick her ear, nuzzling his sister's blue-gray fur. Bluepaw relaxed slightly, sandwiched in-between the two toms, but she finally shook herself, rising to her paws.

"I'm sorry, guys, I'm going to go and...I don't know, collect herbs, maybe." Her ears were still flat, and Spiderpaw could see that her blue eyes were full of pain.

_This wasn't the first time she's seen a cat die, _Spiderpaw remembered. _Is she thinking of him too?_

He rose to his paws, ready to accompany her into the forest, but she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Spiderpaw, but I really would like to be alone right now, if that's okay," she said quietly. Spiderpaw blinked, then sat back down; he didn't think that she should be alone with her grief, but at the same time he didn't want to bother her if he wasn't wanted. Bluepaw tried to smile again, then gave up, exiting camp without another world.

Spiderpaw glanced at the other apprentices, daring them to make some sort of comment about him being nice to Bluepaw, but no one was in the mood for jokes; Silverstar's death and the chilling sickness seemed to hang over everything like a dark cloud.

. . .

Eaglestrike emerged from the den later in the day to dispatch the patrols like normal; he also signaled for both Blackpaw and Firepaw to approach. He said something quietly to the both of them; Firepaw bristled, but Blackpaw only bowed her head. Eaglestrike continued to speak, and Firepaw's bristling fur slowly flattened itself, although he was still far from happy from the glitter in his amber eyes.

"What did they want?" Jaypaw asked Blackpaw as the two apprentices returned to the group.

Blackpaw's ears were flat against her head. "Eaglestrike said that everything is going to be...different, for awhile at least...and that my assessment was going to be postponed again, at least for a little while. He wasn't sure when he would have time to help me train again, or assess me...but I wasn't going to be ready anyway."

"It's stupid. You should be a warrior already," Firepaw seethed, his tail lashing; Spiderpaw felt his hot amber gaze scorch his fur, but he ignored the ginger tom.

"What did Eaglestrike say to you, Firepaw?" Redpaw wondered. Firepaw's fur ruffled.

"He said that...well, if Blackpaw isn't going to be assessed for awhile, that if I wanted to be a warrior soon then I should go ahead and have my ceremony," he growled. "But there's no way I'm doing it without Blackpaw."

"I think you should," Blackpaw said softly. "You deserve it. You're ready to be a warrior."

"Yeah, you totally are ready!" Redpaw exclaimed. "You passed your assessment, and Blackpaw will be a warrior eventually."

"Besides, the Clan could use a bit of good news," Blizzardpaw said. "I want Blackpaw to become a warrior as much as anyone else, but the Clan needs something to lift their spirits right now, with so much fear hanging in the air."

Firepaw glanced at the other apprentices; all of them nodded, except Jaypaw, who pressed his pelt against Blackpaw's side comfortingly. Even Spiderpaw nodded, although for a selfish reason; if Firepaw became a warrior, then he and Spiderpaw would not spend nearly as much time together.

Firepaw glanced at Blackpaw again, and she gave him a small smile, licking his muzzle. "Really, go ahead," she mewed. "I won't mind at all. I'll be the first one to say your new name, so long as you're the first to say mine."

Firepaw smiled. "It's a deal." He glanced over his shoulder, looking at Eaglestrike, who was speaking quietly to Ravenwing. "Should I tell him now?"

Spiderpaw blinked at his mother; her green eyes were hollow with pain and fear, and his stomach clenched in sympathy; Ravenwing and Silverstar had been friends ever since they were kits, and he knew it pained her deeply to know that Silverstar had lost another life.

"Why don't you wait a minute," he said softly. "Give them time to finish."

Firepaw gave him another glance, then shrugged, curling his ginger tail around his paws.

Eaglestrike continued to speak quietly with Ravenwing, until Shimmerfrost appeared in the medicine den entrance and beckoned him forward. He disappeared inside with her, and Ravenwing resumed her nervous pacing.

Eaglestrike reappeared moments later, with Shimmerfrost at his side. He opened his mouth, but the silver tabby beat him to it.

"Quit jabbering to each other, and listen," she snapped. "Bluepaw and I are going to the Pool of Stars tonight to ask StarClan more about this disease, and hopefully where we can find a cure. We'll tell Eaglestrike whatever StarClan tells us, if anything, and then he and I are going to PeakClan to discuss the matter with Stonestar and Northstar. From there, we'll decide our next move as a Clan. Understand?"

Eaglestrike glanced at the medicine cat, probably wanting to speak to the Clan more gently while they were scared and confused, but Shimmerfrost ignored him, her blue eyes glittering coldly before she turned and went back into the medicine den once more.

"I'm sure Shimmerfrost and Bluepaw will have good news for us when they return tomorrow," he said finally. "Until then, we just have to wait." He glanced over at the other apprentices, and Spiderpaw watched his gaze meet Firepaw's; the ginger apprentice hesitated, then gave Eaglestrike the smallest of nods, and the gray tom smiled.

Eaglestrike turned and padded up the BranchPile, much to the Clan's confusion; he already had their attention and it was quiet enough for them to hear what he had to say without being on top of the speaking place.

Eaglestrike looked down upon Firepaw, and flicked his tail. The ginger apprentice slowly rose, as Blackpaw nuzzled his shoulder.

"AshClan, it is easy in times like these to lose faith," the gray tom said softly. "It's easy to lose hope. It's easy to think that StarClan has turned away from us in our time of need. But this is not so. Moons ago, StarClan came to Silverstar in a dream and told her that she would have a great destiny, that she would be destined to build and lead a Clan. AshClan, we are living proof that this is true. And I believe that StarClan could not take the leader of our Clan so soon, not while they still have so many plans for her. It is true that cats die; that is simply a part of life. We mourn the fallen and honor their sacrifice. But it is also true that cats grow up, and today that is what we are going to honor, not the loss of one of our leader's lives. With this ceremony, we will assure StarClan that our faith is still strong, and that we understand although times may be tough, they will always light our paths. Firepaw, come up here please."

Spiderpaw turned his head, seeing Petalcloud's eyes glowing gently with pride as she watched her son pad towards the BranchPile. He felt Sootpaw become rigid against his side; something was bothering her. He glanced at her, puzzled.

_Is she thinking of Chillpaw, and what he did? _Spiderpaw wondered. Then, he looked to Thistlethorn. _His warrior ceremony was the first after Chillpaw's betrayal. Did he feel it too? Were the other warriors afraid that he would betray AshClan just as Chillpaw had? Is that why he's so compelled to prove himself whenever he can?_

"Although I am not AshClan's leader, I, Eaglestrike, call upon our warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained long and hard to learn your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn.

"Firepaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

Firepaw looked up at his leader, and Spiderpaw could see the determination in his eyes, blazing even brighter than his pelt. "I do."

"Then, by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Firepaw, from this day forward you will be known as Fireblaze. StarClan honors your loyalty and courage, and we welcome you as a full warrior of AshClan."

"Fireblaze!" Blackpaw yowled immediately, surprising Spiderpaw; Blackpaw was usually the last cat to speak during any occasion.

"Fireblaze! Fireblaze! Fireblaze!" The chant grew until it seemed to ring in Spiderpaw's ears, bouncing off of the trees and sounding over the entire camp. Spiderpaw found himself chanting along, although it wasn't for Fireblaze's benefit; he was picturing himself being named a warrior, imagining his own warrior name being cheered by the Clan.

"We will hold your vigil tonight," Eaglestrike continued. "It must be conducted in silence, of course, but until nightfall you are able to speak."

Fireblaze nodded quickly, and Eaglestrike flicked his tail before leaping down from the BranchPile, signaling that the ceremony was over. He padded back over to Ravenwing, and the two of them sat down to share tongues over a small squirrel.

Fireblaze padded back to the apprentices, his ginger chest puffed out with pride.

"Cool name!" Blizzardpaw purred. "Like fire blazing through the forest. I've seen that first paw, and it's a pretty frightening sight!"

Robinpaw rolled her eyes. "You don't even remember that, furball," she meowed.

"Like you do?" Jaypaw asked, nudging his sister playfully.

Blackpaw was quiet, but she looked happy, her golden eyes gleaming with admiration as she blinked at her brother. "Maybe you can help me train for my own assessment, whenever it comes, since you're a warrior now," she meowed. Fireblaze nodded.

"Definitely," he meowed. "Whenever I have the time. Warriors are always busy, you know, going out on patrols and fighting enemy warriors!" He grinned, white fangs flashing.

"The only enemy warrior you've ever fought is your own tail," Spiderpaw meowed. He was joking, feeling almost caught up in the excitement with the rest of the apprentices – seeing one of their own become a warrior had them all in high spirits – but he could tell from the narrowing of Fireblaze's eyes that the new warrior had taken it as a jibe.

Blizzardpaw rushed to Spiderpaw's aid, distracting Fireblaze with a question - "Are you nervous about your vigil?" - but Fireblaze's amber eyes glinted at Spiderpaw warningly before he answered the whtie tom. Spiderpaw's heart sank; it seemed that even the ginger tom becoming a warrior would not get him out of Spiderpaw's fur, not until his sister joined him. Spiderpaw glanced at her quickly; the fur was ruffled uncomfortably around her shoulders, and she was obviously picking up the tension between her brother and the black apprentice.

_Maybe it's up to me to help her become a warrior, _Spiderpaw thought. _She's got to become one somehow, or I might really wake up to find thorns in my nest...or claws at my throat._

**AN: In this case, -blaze is a verb rather than a noun, as it is in some names. I use -blaze for determined, fierce cats that are quick and easy to anger, but incredibly loyal. They have blazingly hot tempers, but are immeasurably warm towards those they care about. Somewhat ironically, the main characteristic that I use to distinguish between -blaze and -fire would be that -blaze cats tend to have red-hot tempers that flare up and die down quickly, whereas -fire cats hold grudges. Unfortunately, I had to compromise, since Firefire would obviously be a horrible name.**

**Also, this Saturday I'll be visiting family out of state, and I might also be staying with my grandparents for all of next week. They have dial-up and you have to have a password to get in and stuff, so if I do stay with them (it hasn't been decided yet) then this might be the last time I see you guys for awhile. Consider this your warning~**


	13. C h a p t e r 12

**C _h a p t e r _12**

Sootpaw poked her nose out of the den, watching as Shimmerfrost and Bluepaw padded towards the camp entrance; they were going to sleep at the Pool of Stars, just as they had said. She felt a prickle of longing deep within her paws to join them, to find out what her dreams really meant, but she knew the Pool of Stars was forbidden to apprentices.

_Especially those that can't even hunt or fight, _she thought darkly, ears flattened.

Shimmerfrost ignored Fireblaze, who was sitting his vigil, but Bluepaw touched his flank with her tail and smiled at him as she brushed past. Fireblaze remained stoic and silent, but Sootpaw knew his amber eyes were glittering with pride.

She looked over her shoulder at the other apprentices, and saw Spiderpaw sleeping alone; his moss was there for once, but he still had a scowl on his face, as always.

_What does he dream about? _She wondered. _Becoming a warrior? Leading the Clan? Why can't I have dreams like that? _Her ears flattened, and she glanced at Blackpaw; the black apprentice also seemed to be sleeping fitfully. _Is that how it's going to be for me and Spiderpaw? He'll be sitting his vigil, while I'm tossing and turning in the apprentice den still? _She stared down at her paws. _I guess if we don't find the cure, though, neither of us might ever become warriors..._She shivered. She knew she should be sleeping like the others, curled up in her nest...but the thought of meeting Chillpaw and Blight again scared her. Her legs trembled at the very thought of facing Chillpaw's cold tone and Blight's gleaming eye...

_But they might know something about all this, still, _she thought. _And it's not like I can just refuse to sleep for the rest of my life..._

She sighed softly, squeezing in between Spiderpaw and Jaypaw as she curled up in her nest. She tucked her tail against her nose and her paws underneath of her, still staring out of the den entrance.

_What if StarClan doesn't tell Shimmerfrost and Bluepaw anything after all? What if Northstar won't help us? What if AshClan is the only one getting sick, not PeakClan? What are we supposed to do then?_

She closed her eyes, trying to block out the thoughts, forcing her muscles to relax one by one, gradually lulling her mind into a sense of false security and calm. _Father said that we had to trust in StarClan, _she thought sleepily. _I guess that's our only choice right now._

. . .

_She opened her eyes to be faced with mist once again. Her ears flattened, and she looked around anxiously; the last thing she wanted to do was face Chillpaw and his friends again, but it seemed like she had no choice._

"_Hey, Sootpaw!" Moonpaw purred brightly; Sootpaw turned to see her friend heading towards her._

"_Can you tell Chillpaw that I'm here again?" she asked nervously. Moonpaw laughed quietly._

"_Sillypaws, he's expecting you tonight. I don't have to tell him anything. All you've got to do is push through the mist and touch noses with him again."_

_Sootpaw shivered, remembering his bone-chilling touch from before. "Do I have to?"_

_Moonpaw's eyes glittered with sympathy, and she licked Sootpaw's shoulder. "No, I guess you don't have to...he can't make you, and I sure won't if it makes you uncomfortable! But he really needs you, Sootpaw. You're the only way he can get home again."_

_Sootpaw's ears flattened. "Get home? What do you mean? Is he...trying to get to StarClan?"_

_Moonpaw cocked her head to one side. "I'm not supposed to talk about it, and really I barely know more than you do. You can ask him yourself...or you can pull yourself out of the dream. I made another one for us, I think you'll like this one as much as you did the last one!" She gave Sootpaw a bright smile._

"_I can pull myself out of this dream? Really?"_

_Moonpaw nodded. "You're probably not strong enough to do it by yourself yet...but if you want to follow me to the dream that I made for us, all you have to do is touch my nose. As you get better at all this dreaming stuff, eventually you'll be able to come and go whenever you want. You won't even need me." Unlike last time, there was no ominous tone to her words, and her blue eyes were bright and kind as she looked at her friend._

"_So...I really don't have to see Chillpaw? Not if I don't want you?"_

"_No one can force you into it," Moonpaw meowed. "And if you get scared, just yell for me and I'll come and bring you back here, where you'll be safe again."_

_Sootpaw glanced away from Moonpaw's sky-blue eyes, peering into the mist; her ears flattened again, and she sighed, steeling herself._

"_I have to know what this is all about, I guess...but promise you'll come if I need you?"_

_Moonpaw nuzzled her side. "Of course, Sootpaw. I'm your friend. I'll help you whenever I can. Okay? Chillpaw's waiting for you. Just walk in that direction, you'll find him."_

_Sootpaw took a deep breath, then nodded; slowly, her paws feeling as if they were made of stone, she headed forwards, into the cool embrace of the mist._

_She saw the glow of Chillpaw's blue eyes ahead of her, but he was silent until she reached him; gently he reached down to touch their noses together. The same incredible chill ran through her, just as before, and as it did so the mist melted away, leaving only the Dark Forest behind._

"_Welcome back," Chillpaw meowed. Sootpaw looked over his shoulder, seeing Blight just behind him, sitting down with his tail curled around his paws. Then, Sootpaw blinked as she met the gaze of another cat, a golden-brown she-cat with bright green eyes. She was pretty, but there was something in her eyes, some unspoken malice, that made Sootpaw's fur ruffle._

"_Who is that?" she asked. "Is that the she-cat you said was wailing before?"_

_The golden she-cat bristled. "Have you two been talking behind my back?" she snapped._

"_No, no. Calm yourself," Chillpaw said quietly. "We were talking about Brightstar."_

_The she-cat snorted. "Oh, _her. _What a kit. Just because she's been here the longest, she thinks she's entitled, or something...pah." She spat onto the ground. Sootpaw flinched, and the she-cat smiled._

"_Oh, don't be worried, little Sootpaw," she purred; her voice changed from derisive to as smooth as honey in a heartbeat. "None of my bad temper is directed at you. You're actually very important, dear. Do you remember me?"_

_Sootpaw's ears flattened, and she glanced quickly at Chillpaw._

"_I've told you, none of us will harm you," he said patiently. "We need you, Sootpaw."_

"_No," Sootpaw said slowly, returning her gaze to the she-cat. "I don't remember you. I'm sorry. Should I?"_

_The she-cat laughed. "No, of course not. I was only joking. I was present the day of your birth; Blackmoon and Rosedapple were guarding camp while dear Ravenwing pushed out those kits of hers."_

"_Me, you mean. And Spiderpaw," Sootpaw said uncertainly; she didn't know why this she-cat would have been in the camp at the same time her mother had given birth._

_The she-cat exchanged glances with both Blight and Chillpaw, but neither of the toms said anything. "Yes, you, and your brother too," the she-cat said finally. "Unfortunately, I suffered an, ah, accident before I could greet Ravenwing..."_

_Sootpaw's eyes widened as the realization hit her. "You're the traitor," she gasped. "The one who went to Lion and told him the Clans' battle plan!"_

_The fur bristled around the she-cat's shoulders, but she quickly flattened it. "Traitor is their word for me," she meowed. "I was a great asset to PeakClan, but they never saw that. I simply went to the side that valued me more." She licked her paw and drew it over one ear with an arrogant little flick. "My name is Dapplefern, if you've forgotten that."_

_Sootpaw turned to Chillpaw. "Is she with you too? And this Brightstar cat you keep talking about? How many of you are there?"_

"_Seven of us, in total," Chillpaw meowed. "You've met three of us; Blight and I thought it would be easiest to meet those you've heard about before first. The other four you don't know, and I doubt they've been featured in any story that you've heard."_

"_Seven?" Sootpaw swallowed nervously. _One Dark Forest cat is bad enough...three is plenty...but seven?

_Her fur bristled. "What makes you think that I'm just going to meet all of your Dark Forest pals and go along with whatever you have planned? Moonpaw told me I don't even have to be here if I don't want to be. She said that I could leave, and never come back."_

_Blight shot Chillpaw a glance. "Of course Moonpaw told you that," he growled, but it seemed that his comment was more directed towards the white apprentice than Sootpaw. "That's true, pet, you can leave, with the help of your little friend. We can't keep you here."_

"_And if you choose to leave, then we won't follow you," Chillpaw said calmly._

"_We won't?" Dapplefern asked, a note of surprise in her voice. "But we need her!"_

_Chillpaw glanced at the she-cat over his shoulder, and his eyes narrowed. "If Sootpaw doesn't want to help us, then we can't make her."_

_Dapplefern rose to her paws, fur bristling. "Who said, huh? I wasn't consulted about that!" She let out a hiss. "You and Blight think you're the only important ones, with your little plans and your precious apprentice-summoning. But if you think you're going to let the only cat that can help us just walk away, you two have another think coming!" Her green eyes glittered, and Sootpaw felt a tremor of fear; she shrank away from the dappled cat, only to find that Chillpaw had moved closer to her, his tail almost touching her flank. Blight was standing, glaring at Dapplefern._

"_Chillpaw and I get to make the decisions because we're the ones that can bring her here," he growled warningly. "The more cats we have, the easier things will be, but don't for a second think that you're more valuable than anyone else, traitor."_

"_Traitor?" Dapplefern screeched, her fur fluffed up so that she looked almost like a lion. "Who are you calling the traitor? You're the one who broke that crazy she-cat. How many cats did she kill, exactly? She was more of a liability than-"_

"_Don't you talk about Nightshade in my presence!" Blight roared, unsheathing his claws. Sootpaw let out a squeak of fear; it seemed that a battle would erupt at any moment._

"_Both of you, calm down!" Chillpaw's voice was sharp, and she could have sworn she heard a note of anger in it. He was standing on his paws as well, fearlessly facing down the two cats, even though they were both much larger than he was. He took a step forward, so that he was standing between Sootpaw and the others._

"_Frightening her isn't exactly helping our cause, now is it?" he asked icily, his cold eyes raking the two cats. "We said we would do this slowly so as not to frighten her, but I think we're having the opposite effect. Dapplefern, you are dismissed."_

"_You can't just dismiss me, like I'm a kit," she spat, green eyes flashing. Chillpaw's own eyes narrowed, and he stared at her straight on, meeting her gleaming gaze with his own. Sootpaw was surprised that the golden she-cat didn't drop dead from the intensity of his glare._

"_I said you're dismissed," Chillpaw meowed again; Sootpaw could almost imagine icicles forming around his words. Dapplefern held his gaze only a moment longer before she faltered and stared down at her paws. With another glare at Blight, she turned and disappeared into the shadows of the forest._

"_Sootpaw." She shivered as Chillpaw turned to face her. "There's nothing to be afraid of. I promise, no one here will hurt you."_

_She took a step backwards. "Right, I'm perfectly safe with a bunch of murderers and traitors."_

_Chillpaw sighed softly. "I can never quite calculate how some cats will react...Dapplefern threw off my calculations in the battle against your Clan as well." He flicked his ear with irritation. "No matter. Blight, I think it would be best to get the rest of our group now; I don't think we can scare her more than we already have." He turned to Sootpaw. "Whatever your decision is, we will respect it. But please, allow us to give you all of the pieces of the puzzle first."_

_Sootpaw glanced over her shoulder; she only had to call for Moonpaw, and her friend would appear to save her. There was really no danger here. If Chillpaw was telling the truth – if these cats really did need her for something – then they would not hurt her._

"_Okay," she said finally. Chillpaw nodded to Blight, and the gray tom headed towards where Dapplefern had disappeared._

_Chillpaw sat down, wrapping his tail around his paws calmly, blinking up at the dark sky; Sootpaw tried to follow his gaze, but her eyes quickly fell back down to her paws; seeing a sky that was completely black, save for a single star, was alien to her. It made her feel uncomfortable, as if a stone had been dropped into her belly._

"_Do not think badly of us."_

_Sootpaw glanced towards Chillpaw, her ears pricking as he spoke. "What?"_

_He glanced at her, but quickly returned his eyes to the sky. "We are all in the Dark Forest for a reason, that is true. But hurting you in any way will not help us. We only have a singular goal in mind. Dapplefern is high-strung; she is afraid that she will not get the chance to prove herself as she desires. The rest of us – save myself – are also afraid. They do not want to languish here and fade."_

"_Fade?"_

_He nodded. "Yes. Time passes differently here, but we are still mortal. That is why your visits will be brief at best; time is much faster for the living than for the dead. StarClan grapples with this problem as well; it's part of why they cannot communicate as much to the living as they would like. A Dark Forest cat – or even a cat in StarClan – has almost exactly half of their life left in their bodies when they pass into the afterlife. I will have slightly less than six moons to live here. Dapplefern and Blight obviously have more than that. Leaders who have fallen to come here will have even more. But eventually if our lifeforce is not replenished – at the end of my six moons, for example – I will fade away. The fading is gradual, usually beginning when the cat has only a moon of life left, and it will continue until the cat has disappeared entirely."_

"_But where do they go after that?"_

_Chillpaw shrugged. "Who knows? Most believe that they simply cease to exist...their spirits are gone, after all. But that's not the point. What I was getting at is that their emotions are all rather high right now; you could be their salvation, aside from StarClan."_

"_StarClan?" She felt hopelessly confused; what did StarClan have to do with Dark Forest cats? Weren't they enemies?_

_He nodded again. "It's rumored that the north star will guide Dark Forest cats who wish to be redeemed to StarClan, if they can pass several tests. But none of the cats you will meet wish to attempt it, for various reasons."_

"_If they could get to StarClan, why wouldn't they go?"_

"_It can't be proven that the north star leads to StarClan; many believe that is only a tale for kits. Not only that, but all manner of ill-tempered cats lie on the path to redemption; the fatality risk is allegedly rather high. And then, of course, there are cats like Blight that don't wish to make it to StarClan anyway...he has turned his back on the stars."_

"_I know that, from last time," she meowed._

"_It's good that you remembered that." He glanced at her again. "You're their hope right now, Sootpaw. You represent safety...even life, perhaps. They won't dare harm you. You have nothing to be afraid of; I promise you that." He was quiet a moment, before his ears pricked. "They're coming."_

_She strained to see, peering through the darkness – with only a single star shining, the Dark Forest was worse than a new-moon night – and saw Blight's single eye gleaming as he led four more cats forward. He moved to the side slightly, allowing them to approach further._

_Sootpaw's gaze flitted over the four of them – a white she-cat, a ginger-and-white she-cat, a white tom patched with blue-gray, and a skinny brown tom – and swallowed nervously. Chillpaw's words had eased her anxiety slightly, but there was still no denying that she was in the company of murderers._

"_Go ahead and tell her your names," Chillpaw said calmly. "She's not going to bite you any more than you are her."_

_The cats looked at one another, as if expecting one of them to step forward. For a long moment, none of them moved, until finally the ginger-and-white she-cat stepped forwards. Sootpaw blinked with surprise as she realized the she-cat's eyes were not both the same color; one glittered gold, the other blue._

"_I suppose I have to go first; seniority, and all that," she growled, then fixed Sootpaw with her odd-eyed stare. "My name is Brightstar."_

The one they were talking about...the one who is scared of fading, _Sootpaw realized. _She must be really old then, to have lived through nine lives and then have spent all that time in the Dark Forest..half of the time she spent alive, right?

_Brightstar glanced at Chillpaw. "Do I have to say anything else?"_

_Chillpaw sighed quietly. "No. Introductions are all we need right now."_

_Brightstar's pelt bristled, but she didn't seem angry. "It ruffles my fur, taking orders from an apprentice who couldn't even become a warrior," she growled._

"_I could have, I simply chose not to," Chillpaw said calmly. "Let the next cat speak. You know we don't have much time before she will wake up."_

_Brightstar's pelt was still ruffled, but she shrugged, moving back to sit with the others._

_The other she-cat was already stepping forwards; her green eyes glinted, framed by white fur. "My name is Nettlefrost. I was deputy of ThunderClan."_

ThunderClan? _Sootpaw wondered. _Wasn't that...one of the four Clans that sent cats to go on that journey? To find SkyClan? Wasn't Fogheart from that Clan?

"_Furball. She doesn't know what ThunderClan is." Brightstar was loud and disdainful, but Nettlefrost was unruffled._

"_It doesn't hurt to make the introduction complete, now does it?" she asked smoothly._

"_Fine. Then I'll have her know that I led WindClan. Happy now?" the ginger-and-white she-cat snapped._

_Chillpaw flicked his tail sharply at the both of them; they glanced at him, but said nothing._

He really is the leader, _she marveled. _Because he can contact me? But he said Blight had a part in that too...are they joint leaders? Or is Chillpaw ranked above him here, for some reason?

_She blinked slowly. _Chillpaw doesn't have much time left, does he? How old was he when he died, a year? He said he had a little less than six moons...I wonder how much time has passed in the Dark Forest, compared to in life. It's been six moons since he died, or close to it, I guess...

_She blinked as she realized another one of the cats had stepped forwards; it was the white-and-blue tom. At first glance, he seemed large and imposing, but it took her a moment to realize that his size was influenced by this long, thick fur; taking it into consideration, he was actually probably a bit undersized._

"_My name is Swiftshade," he said slowly; he fixed her with his keen amber gaze. "I used to belong to RiverClan." _

_He stepped backwards, and the fourth cat, skinny brown tabby with bright golden eyes, blinked at Sootpaw; he almost looked nervous, and he glanced over his shoulder for reassurance from the others; they only blinked at him stonily._

_His ears flattened. "I'm, er, Shrew," he said timidly. "I used to be Shrewfoot, but I'm just Shrew now. I used to be in, um, ShadowClan. But that was a long time ago, okay?" The fur on his tail was standing straight up, making him almost look like a brown-furred fox._

"_She has no idea about ShadowClan, we just mentioned that," Brightstar snapped. "She doesn't know the four Clans. She can't associate you with what happened that leaf-bare."_

_Shrew's ears flattened, and Sootpaw felt a prickle of pity; the other cats she wasn't so sure about – especially Chillpaw – but he didn't really seem so bad. He reminded her a bit of Darkstorm, actually._

"_So, is that everyone?" she asked, looking to Chillpaw. He nodded._

"_All seven of us. Now, for what you actually need to do..."_

_Sootpaw's pelt prickled uncomfortably; she wasn't sure she really wanted to hear what they desired from her._

But...I have to, _she thought, taking in a deep breath. "Okay. What do you want from me?"_

_Chillpaw smiled, but as usual it was devoid of any actual humor. "Far away from here, to the south, it is said that the forest is completely black," he said softly. "The north star provides the only light in the Dark Forest; if you go far enough south, there is no life at all. At the very farthest point to the south, it is said that there is a pool. It is called the Pool of Eternal Night. Because there is no light, the Pool of Eternal Night and the sky seem almost to melt into one another; here there is no horizon to split them apart, no sun shining to distinguish between the two of them. And it is said that this is true, that they are truly one. And it is said that here, the boundary between the Dark Forest and life is at its weakest. With the proper ceremony...it is even possible to cross over."_

"_Or so it's said," Blight said dryly. "It could all just be an old queen's tale, but there's no way to know for sure unless we attempt it."_

_Sootpaw's ears flattened. "What sort of ceremony?" she asked cautiously. "And...what happens when you come back to life? I mean, no offense, but...won't your bodies be all...you know, rotten?"_

"_The ceremony is a simple matter," Chillpaw meowed. "Ideally we would need nine cats from the Dark Forest to complete it...but finding cats who will agree to join us has been problematic. Here, the only salvation seems to be from StarClan; going the opposite direction frightens many cats, and for good reason. I assure you, the ceremony will not damage you in any way. You have nothing to fear."_

"_Really, it didn't even have to be you," Blight said. "We could use any living cat for this...although, for some reason, the number of cats roaming the Dark Forest is oddly low." He rolled his single eye sarcastically._

"_So...what exactly is it that I have to do? Just come with you to this pool?"_

_Chillpaw nodded. "Come with us, participate in the ceremony, help us cross over. As for our bodies, don't worry about that. We will have new bodies."_

_Sootpaw's eyes widened. "New bodies? Are you going to...possess someone?"_

_Chillpaw's whiskers twitched. "We're not exactly ghosts, Sootpaw, whatever stories you've been told. Possession isn't really that easy for us. No, we're not going to possess anyone. Our spirits will simply...take what's available, so to speak." He cocked his head to one side. "Are you familiar with how most cats reach StarClan?"_

_She nodded. "Ravenwing says their spirits walk up into the sky, and become a star, so that they can watch after their family."_

"_Normally, that's true...but some spirits aren't strong enough," Chillpaw meowed. "Some spirits can't make it. Any kit that has never taken its first breath of life cannot ascend to StarClan. They don't have the strength; they've never been truly alive. They simply disappear when they die because their spirits are not yet fully formed. For example, when a she-cat that is carrying kits dies, she ascends but her kits do not."_

_Sootpaw's ears flattened. "The kits don't follow her? That doesn't seem fair to them."_

_Chillpaw shrugged. "They've never experienced life; by natural law, they were never alive, and thus cannot truly be dead, and thus not in StarClan. The point is, their spirits are still unformed. Maleable. And it is possible, if a cat is able to cross certain barriers, to enter that spirit..."_

_Her eyes widened. "Like reincarnation?"_

_He nodded. "We will be born devoid of any memory of our old lives. We will be new cats." He smiled again. "Think of it as allowing us a second chance, Sootpaw. Think of it as you being our savior."_

_Her breath caught in her throat; how many times had she dreamed of being important, of being recognized, of being heroic? How many times had she wondered if she would ever earn her own acclaim, her own legacy beyond her mother's or father's? How many times had she hoped that she would claw her mark into history?_

_She gazed at the seven cats; silently, they stared back at her, their eyes glowing eerily in the darkness. _

If I do this...if I take them to this Pool of Eternal Night...I'll be saving them. I don't know if I can trust Chillpaw's word but...the longer I stay here, the more practiced I'll be moving in and out. If it's some sort of trap, I can get out of it. _She took a deep breath. _I have to do this. I...I've got to prove myself, somehow. AshClan isn't giving me that opportunity...so I'm going to take it.

_She found herself smiling; Chillpaw watched her closely._

"_Well?" he asked quietly. "Are you going to help us, or call your friend to take you home again?"_

"_I'll help," Sootpaw said quietly. Chillpaw's muzzle curled into a smile, and this time she thought she saw a glimmer of something almost like emotion in his eyes, before he nodded to the other cats._

"_Thank you," Shrew said quietly, but he was the only one to thank her; the others simply nodded as if they had expected it from the beginning._

_Blight flicked his tail to Shrew. "Go and tell Dapplefern that Sootpaw said yes," he growled, then laughed quietly. "On second thought, tell her that Sootpaw said no. She deserves to squirm a little."_

_Shrew's ears flattened, but he nodded quickly, disappearing into the dark brush._

_Sootpaw turned to Chillpaw. "Am I going to see you guys again, before you reach the pool?"_

"_Of course. It's a long journey, and you'll have to visit us from time to time; the ceremony performs better when those participating are more closely connected," he meowed. "We'll only bring you here during your sleep, however. I have a feeling that you're going to be quite busy during the day."_

_She blinked at him, confused before her eyes widened as mist crept into her vision. "What's happening?" she meowed, shrinking back, her ears flattening._

"_Relax, kit," Brightstar snorted. "You're just waking up, I'd expect."_

"_Here comes your friend, to take you back," Chillpaw said; Sootpaw turned, seeing Moonpaw bounding towards her._

"_Hey!" the black apprentice panted, giving Sootpaw a warm smile. "Having fun? Come on."_

_She offered Sootpaw her nose; Sootpaw glanced over her shoulder once more, blinking at the five cats who stared back at her, their eyes glowing like multicolored stars in the darkness. Gently, Sootpaw reached to touch Moonpaw's nose, as the mist swallowed her up._

She awoke to a nuzzle on her shoulder; Spiderpaw blinked down at her with his sharp green eyes.

"Shimmerfrost and Bluepaw just got back," he said quietly. "They're in the medicine den now, with Eaglestrike. I guess we'll find out if they've heard anything real soon. Thought you'd want to know."

She yawned, her pink tongue curling as she stretched and limbered up. "Why are you awake?"

He shrugged. "I dunno...had a hard time sleeping, I guess."

She nuzzled his side with her nose, then yawned again, shuffling to the entrance of the den; the Clan was stirring, but as far as she could tell no one had poked their noses out of the dens yet.

"Want to eat some breakfast while we wait?" she offered; Spiderpaw shrugged, and the two siblings made their way to the fresh-kill pile. Sootpaw let Spiderpaw select their prey – a shrew, she noticed with a slight shiver – and they sat down together close to the apprentice den, keeping their eyes on the medicine den.

It wasn't even dawn yet, Sootpaw realized as she looked up at the sky. There was only a slight shimmer on the horizon promising the sun's light; it was earlier than she had thought.

She nibbled the shrew, thinking of her dream, and shivered again despite the morning being realatively warm.

_Did I really agree to helping those cats? _She wondered. _It feels real...but...it seems so strange, too. Nettlefrost, Brightstar, Swiftshade, and Shrew...they were all from the original four Clans. Dapplefern was from PeakClan, Blight was from FrozenClan, and Chillpaw was from our Clan, AshClan...does having cats from the different Clans make the ceremony stronger, I wonder? But what about SkyClan?_

She took another bite of the shrew. _I guess SkyClan must not still exist, or something...did Fogheart's group fail in their mission? But, if so, then they could never come home, right? Where did they go instead?_

She realized that Spiderpaw was staring at her.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, finishing off their vole. "You've got a weird look on your face. Is something wrong?"

"You mean besides me not having a mentor and our leader possibly dying of sickness?" Sootpaw asked. She had meant for it to be a joke, but it came out sounding bitter.

_And let's not forget that I just allied myself with some Dark Forest cats...oh, and I'm having weird dreams about some cat named Fogheart and his apparently failed mission to find a Clan neither of us have ever heard of._

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed. "I was just asking. You didn't have to snap at me."

Her fur bristled. "You snap at me all the time!" she spat. "Are you just exempt from that? You're just so troubled and your life is just _so _hard that you can snap at however you want?"

Spiderpaw stared at her, astonishment on his face; Sootpaw realized that she could count on one paw the number of times she had snapped back at him. Her ears flattened, and she looked away, but she did not apologize.

Then, her ears pricked as she heard the murmurs of the Clan; most of the warriors and apprentices had emerged from their dens by now, and were watching the medicine den, eager for some news. She focused on the medicine den as well, rather than Spiderpaw's expression, blinking as a silver head appeared. For a moment, she thought it was Shimmerfrost, but the silver tabby appeared beside the first cat; Sootpaw's eyes widened as she realized that the silver she-cat was Silverstar.

Slowly, Silverstar headed towards the BranchPile, then stopped as she saw the Clan was already waiting for her. Her fur was still rough and unkempt, but her blue eyes were not glazed, and her breathing did not sound like a terrible rasp as it had before.

_They said that the disease regressed, that StarClan couldn't get rid of it completely, _Sootpaw thought. _So...this is what she was like, two moons or so ago._

"AshClan." Silverstar's voice was soft; Sootpaw leaned forwards slightly, straining to hear the words of her leader. "I know the past few days have been a very trying time for you. They've been hard for all of us. And I am sorry for that." She dipped her head. "I sealed myself away from the Clan. I was afraid, and in pain...and in mourning." She sighed softly, then lifted her head, her blue eyes gleaming. "But the time for mourning is over, and I mean that for all of you. I have lost one life; I still have five to give to my Clan, and I would give them all to protect you. Shimmerfrost says the disease may be contagious; we don't know enough about it yet, but because it behaves similarly to the forest-sickness, I think the same. It would be safer for AshClan if I remained in the medicine den, to avoid the risk of infecting anyone else." She glanced over her shoulder, smiling at Eaglestrike; he smiled back, but his yellow eyes were anxious as he watched his leader.

"Eaglestrike shall lead the Clan for the next few moons, until this disease is sorted out," she continued; she paused for a moment, coughing quietly, and Sootpaw's stomach clenched with sympathy. "He has already done admirably in my absence, and I thank him for that." She gave Eaglestrike a small nod, before facing her Clan once more. "This might be the last time I speak to you for some time, until we learn more about this disease. But I have faith that StarClan will light AshClan's path, even if I am not here to lead you. I want you all to be strong, and continue to have faith...I know that StarClan will provide for us."

"Of course, Silverstar," Ravenwing said softly, her green eyes darkened by sorrow. "We all know that StarClan is always watching over us."

Several other warriors murmured their agreement; Sootpaw glanced to Shimmerfrost, wondering if she was going to speak of her dream, but the icy she-cat's blue eyes were cold and disinterested.

"Now, as you all know, Shimmerfrost and Bluepaw visited StarClan last night, at the Pool of Stars. StarClan has given them a prophecy, one that shal lead us to the cure for the chilling sickness." Silverstar smiled, then looked over her shoulder again, giving Shimmerfrost a nod. However, it was not Shimmerfrost that padded forwards, but Bluepaw.

The blue-gray apprentice looked nervous as she stood before her Clan; she looked to Shimmerfrost, but her mentor gave her no encouragement.

"StarClan...gave us a prophecy last night," Bluepaw said slowly. "They...um...they said we have to go on a journey. PeakClan too. Both Clans will allow four warriors to go – two warriors and two apprentices from each Clan. This journey might take some time...there are several components to the cure, and the clues that StarClan left us...were not exactly clear. But I'm certain that we can figure them out and find the cure to the chilling sickness." She swept her gaze over the Clan, landing on Spiderpaw; Sootpaw glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, and saw him give Bluepaw a small, encouraging nod. Bluepaw's eyes glittered slightly, and she seemed to become slightly larger as a confident twinkle entered her eyes.

"I will be one of the AshClan apprentices going on this journey," she announced. "Shimmerfrost is needed here, and a medicine cat will be needed, one that knows the prophecy...the prophecy came to us, not PeakClan."

Sootpaw's eyes widened. _What does that mean? _She wondered. _Why would StarClan tell us and not PeakClan? Has PeakClan fallen from favor?_

"So, that means that there is still room for one more apprentice, and two warriors," Silverstar meowed. "We cannot force anyone to go, so volunteer if you wish. The Clan will not think any less of those who cannot or do not wish to go. We need many cats here, to help the Clan prepare for leaf-bare."

Sootpaw turned, looking at Spiderpaw; his ears were flat against his head.

"Maybe I should go," he said quietly, glancing at her. "Do you think so?"

"Maybe," she mewed. "But not just because you want to protect Bluepaw."

His eyes narrowed. "She's my friend. My only friend, practically."

Sootpaw sighed, pressing her pelt against his. "I'm your friend too."

_Should I be going? _She wondered. _Is this what Chillpaw meant, when he said I might be busy? Two warriors and two apprentices from each Clan...it's just like in my dream. _Her eyes widened. _So that dream, about Fogheart and the others...am I going to have more of them? Was his journey in the past linked to mine in the present? It has to be, it can't be coincidence._

_I should go._

She opened her mouth, ready to declare her decision, only for someone to meow,

"I will go."

She and Spiderpaw turned together, and Sootpaw's eyes widened as she realized that it was Jaypaw who had spoken.

His mother, Frostfeather, looked equally surprised. "Honey, you can't go. What about your sister?"

Jaypaw nodded. "That's why I've got to go. She spent a lot of time in the medicine den; she could be infected. I've got to take care of her."

"Jaypaw..." Robinpaw nuzzled his shoulder. "You don't have to take care of me."

Jaypaw nodded quickly. "Yes, I do."

Silverstar blinked at him, and then smiled. "It's a noble decision, Jaypaw. Frostfeather, I know you're protective of your son, but if he feels that he's ready, perhaps he should go. Remember how young we were when we set out on this journey.

Frostfeather's ears flattened. "We were much older than him," she said anxiously. "I mean, I can't deny that we had some shenanigans as apprentices, but this..."

Jaypaw rose to his paws, moving to press his pelt against hers. "Please, Mother. I'm ready for this. I know I am."

She gazed at him, then let out a weary sigh. "Jaywing had that same quiet determination...I guess I can't stop you. Please be careful."

Jaypaw smiled. "Of course."

_Jaypaw? _Sootpaw thought incredulously. _But...he's not really skilled at anything! He's a decent hunter and fighter, but he's definitely not the best. Is he really prepared for a journey that could take moons?_

Her heart sank, as she realized that she had missed her chance. _I guess he's braver than me after all._

"I'll go." Sootpaw's ears swiveled as she picked up the sound of Thistlethorn's voice. She turned to stare at the blue-gray tom; before Fireblaze had been named a warrior the day before, Thistlethorn had been the youngest warrior in the Clan.

_Him volunteering makes sense, at least, _she thought. _He used to be the youngest warrior; he wants to prove himself and earn his place in the Clan, like all of the others did in the battle against Lion, or the struggle with PeakClan for the territory. He wants to leave his own mark._

"I want to go too." Reedrush stood, and the Clan stared at her. Sootpaw saw Blackpaw standing in the entrance to the apprentice den, staring at her mentor with wide yellow eyes. Reedrush's own green eyes gentled as she saw her apprentice's expression. "I know it will be hard for you, adjusting to a new mentor as you had to do after Bramblethorn's death," she said gently, "but I'm afraid I've taught you all that I can. You need a more battle-savvy cat than myself. Your apprenticeship is nearing its end; you don't need me anymore."

She returned her gaze to Silverstar. "However, the journeying party will need a good hunter on their side. Thistlethorn gives us strength; I will be the one filling our bellies."

There was a low, rumbling growl; Sootpaw thought a badger had entered the camp, before she saw Spiderpaw's head snap towards the elder's den. She followed his gaze, and stared at Jaggedclaw, who was on his paws, fur bristling.

"You can't leave," he growled. "It's too dangerous."

Reedrush stared at him. "Do you think I can't handle it?"

"I think it's too risky to guess," he snapped. Reedrush's fur bristled.

"I'm just as capable as any other warrior," she spat.

"Really? When I found you, you were passed out in a ditch on the side of a Thunderpath!" Jaggedclaw snarled. "You would have died if it hadn't been for me!"

"And you would have died after the battle with Lion if it wasn't for me!" Reedrush snarled back. Her green eyes glowed with anger, more than Sootpaw could have ever guessed that she possessed; Reedrush had always appeared so calm, at least on the surface.

_But underneath all that, this tension between them...where is it coming from?_

"And besides," Reedrush hissed, her eyes narrowing. "You can't stop me."

Jaggedclaw's single eye widened, and he impulsively took a step forward, only to falter as his injured shoulder betrayed him. He nearly collapsed, forced to lean on his good shoulder, his eye burning with humiliation and anger. Reedrush's ears flattened, and she almost looked as if she was going to move towards him to help, but she quickly looked away from him and back to Silverstar.

"I'm going on this journey," she said firmly, her silver tail still lashing from side to side. Silverstar blinked at her, then nodded.

"Okay." She turned to look at Bluepaw. "Reedrush, Thistlethorn, Jaypaw, and Bluepaw. Those will be our four cats to make the journey. Now we only need to speak with PeakClan and Northstar." She coughed quietly; Eaglestrike moved forwards, touching her flank gently with his tail.

"You need your rest, Silverstar," he said quietly, before flicking his ear to Shimmerfrost. "Come on. We need to speak with Northstar and the rest of PeakClan about all of this."

"Of course," Shimmerfrost said, her blue eyes narrowed. She flicked her tail to Bluepaw sharply. "Take care of Silverstar while I'm gone."

Bluepaw nodded quickly, and guided Silverstar back into the warrior den; Eaglestrike and Shimmerfrost headed for the camp entrance.

Sootpaw watched them go, then blinked at Reedrush curiously; the silver she-cat was staring down at her paws, her green eyes unreadable.

_She has an apprentice, a kit, and Jaggedclaw...not to mention that I was supposed to become her apprentice once Blackpaw is made a warrior, _Sootpaw thought. _Why would she push all of that away, to go on this journey? There are plenty of other capable cats..._Her ears flattened. _It just doesn't make any sense...and now, once again, I'm back to where I started, mentor-wise..._

She sighed softly, laying down and resting her head on her paws. _How can I become a warrior like this?_

**AN: Congrats to everyone that guessed Dapplefern would be in here (I think you all hate her more than Slaughter and Blight combined, from the reviews .) even if she wasn't the whiny she-cat they were talking about. xD**

**Pool of Eternal Night = coolest pool name ever. If I ever own a house with a swimming pool, that's totally what I'm calling it. **

**I'm not sure how many of you have read my first fic, Prowling the Clans, but if you have you might recognize Nettlefrost from there (only she was known as Nettlepaw). Her history of use is a bit complicated; the first time I used her I only rped her once or twice before some major junk went down and the group sort of fell apart. For giggles, I put her in PtC as a main character, but I gave up on that fic. Then I brought her back more recently for new role-play (she's in the same place as Chillpaw is now), and now she's here with Chilly again. Yay. :D**


	14. C h a p t e r 13

**C _h a p t e r _13**

Spiderpaw's ears flattened; the fight between Reedrush and Jaggedclaw had been bad enough...but Bluepaw was leaving him too. She was practically the only cat that he was on decent terms with in the entire Clan.

He licked one paw, drawing it over his ear as he watched the medicine den; he wanted to go and say goodbye to her, or ask her about her prophecy, but Shimmerfrost had told her to watch Silverstar, and he didn't want to interrupt that.

He glanced towards Sootpaw; she was obviously deep in thought, and he frowned.

_When was the last time I saw her play? _He wondered. _She's always so serious now...always so worried. It's because of those stupid dreams of hers...why did StarClan send them to her at all, if they just make her anxious all the time, and she's too afraid to tell anyone about them? She won't even tell me, and I'm her brother!_

_And now she's worried about this journey...did she want to go? She almost looked like she was going to volunteer. _His ears flattened at the idea. _She's the only cat here besides Bluepaw that can stand me...if she had gone, I'd be alone..._He felt a twinge of anxiety in his stomach, but he quickly pushed it away. _Not that it matters. Eventually AshClan will see me for the powerful warrior that I am, and then I won't have to be alone anymore. Fireblaze will be begging me to be his friend. I'll be the one stealing _his_ nest!_

_Speaking of..._He glanced over his shoulder, his eyes narrowing as he spotted the ginger tom with his dark sister, speaking to Thistlethorn.

_I forgot that Fireblaze and Blackpaw trained with him, _Spiderpaw thought. _He's not much older than they are, really, only by a few moons. They are probably good friends..._His eyes narrowed. _Is he the one that's been stealing my moss, for Thistlethorn?_

His pelt prickled, but he blinked slowly as Blackpaw rose to her paws; glancing around the camp, he saw that Birchpool and Stormshadow had also risen; Eaglestrike hadn't given orders for the dawn patrol, but what else could it be?

His green eyes narrowed as something occurred to him, and he smiled. _That would be one way to get Fireblaze off my back...but I can't talk about it in front of him._

He rose to his paws quickly, padding towards the dawn patrol; he could feel Sootpaw's puzzled gaze run over his fur, but he ignored her as he broke into a gentle run.

"I want to come too," he meowed. Stormshadow gaze him a cold glance, then shrugged; Birchpool flicked her tail with an easy-going purr. Spiderpaw peered at Blackpaw out of the corner of his eye; her fur was ruffled uncomfortably, and she didn't look at him.

Stormshadow led them into the forest; Blackpaw trailed right along his heels, leaving Spiderpaw and Birchpool to bring up the rear. Birchpool didn't seem to mind; she had a peaceful gleam in her blue eyes as she glanced over the forest. She looked down at him, and Spiderpaw found himself turning away; there was something unsettling about her almost unfocused gaze.

_She lost her memories when she was hit by a Twoleg monster, _Spiderpaw thought, _and probably a bit more than that. Jaggedclaw should count himself lucky; at least he's not crazy._

The thought of the scarred tom made his ears flatten; Jaggedclaw would in a foul, bitter mood once Reedrush had left with the rest of the cats on the journey. _And I'm going to be the one taking care of him, because no one else wants to, _he thought sourly, before he felt a prickle of pity for the elder._ It's probably a good thing that I didn't volunteer, I guess. Jaggedclaw would be left all alone then..._

He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't realize Blackpaw had stopped in front of him; he bumped into her flank with his nose, and she flinched as though he had struck her.

"Sorry," he mumbled, peering around her; she had stopped because Stormshadow had stopped to scent the air; Spiderpaw blinked with surprise as he realized that they were already on the border with PeakClan.

PeakClan's scent was strong; their dawn patrol had already been through the area. Spiderpaw concentrated, until he found his father's scent, and Shimmerfrost's; there was no fear-scent or blood-scent, so he assumed that the two of them had made it over to PeakClan's side peacefully.

Spiderpaw craned his neck, looking up at the Peak; the waterfall pounded the river with explosive force, showering one side of the Peak with dazzling water; if he cocked his head to one side, he could see a faint rainbow. He shivered, remembering that he had been born atop the craggy rock, in PeakClan's nursery.

_Shimmerfrost watched Ravenwing give birth to me, _he realized; he hadn't really considered it before, but now the thought made him wrinkle his nose. _Gross._

It wasn't until Birchpool nudged his flank with her nose that he realized Stormshadow and Blackpaw had started moving again; he hurried to catch up.

As they neared the edge of their territory that was bordered by a Thunderpath, Spiderpaw caught the scent of a finch; neither Birchpool nor Stormshadow had seemed to notice, although he saw Blackpaw's golden eyes dart towards the direction of the scent.

_Time to use Blizzardpaw's little trick, _he thought with a smirk.

"Stormshadow, I think I smell a finch nearby," he meowed; the large tom paused, giving the air a sniff, before glancing over his shoulder at Spiderpaw. Spiderpaw smiled at him.

"I'd like to catch it, but I'm horrible at catching birds," Spiderpaw meowed. "Petalcloud tells me that Blackpaw's one of the best hunters in the Clan now. Can I watch her catch it?"

Stormshadow glanced at Blackpaw, who was staring determinedly at her paws as if by doing so she could make herself invisible. He let out an affirmative grunt; Blackpaw's ears flattened, but she padded forward, disappearing into the brush. Spiderpaw crept after her as silently as a falling leaf.

Blackpaw looked at him nervously as he approached, before signaling for him to stop with her tail. He did so, crouching and watching as Blackpaw fell into a bird-hunting crouch; the movement seemed as easy and familiar to her as breathing, and he blinked as he saw a spark of confidence entering her gaze.

The finch chirped just above their heads, on a low branch, completely unaware of either of them; their dark pelts helped them blend in perfectly with the shadows of the forest. Spiderpaw knew the two of them would be at a disadvantage during leaf-bare if it snowed, but for the rest of the year the advantage was theirs.

Blackpaw crept forward, keeping the finch firmly in her sights; Spiderpaw gauged the distance between the branch and the ground and smirked; there was no way Blackpaw could leap high enough to catch the finch.

Blackpaw stopped, her golden gaze focused; Spiderpaw blinked as he realized she was indeed planning to spring.

_Idiot, _he thought, only to stare with shock as Blackpaw sprang upwards with explosive force. The finch spread its wings, but it wasn't fast enough to avoid her paw; the finch fell to the ground, and Blackpaw landed in it perfectly, killing it with a swift bite.

_If only she could be that fierce in battle! _Spiderpaw thought. _With that speed and agility, she could run circles around Stormshadow!_

Blackpaw blinked at him, looking nervous. "Did, um, that help you?" she asked timidly. Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed as he remembered why he had led her out here. He rose to his paws, letting out a quiet growl.

"I want your brother off my back."

Blackpaw's ears flattened, and she looked down at her paws. "I, um, can't help you with that. Sorry."

Spiderpaw's tail twitched. "I'm serious. He's been blaming me for you staying an apprentice, and I'm tired of it. It's not fair."

Blackpaw seemed to shrink underneath his gaze, as she pressed her belly against the ground. "I told him not to be mean to you, but he won't listen to me." She flinched again as his tail twitched, almost as if she thought Spiderpaw was going to strike her. He stared at her, feeling confused.

"I'm not going to hit you," he meowed, puzzled. She glanced up at him quickly.

"You're not?"

"What? No! Why would I do that?" He felt an uneasy prickle of shame run over his pelt as he saw the relief glinting in her eyes. _Did she really think I was luring her here to beat her up over this?_

He realized she was watching him with a mixture of fear and confusion. "What do you want, then? I told you, I can't help. Fireblaze does whatever he wants, there's not much I can do about that."

"I want you to become a warrior," Spiderpaw meowed. He frowned at her as she remained crouching. "I'm really not going to hurt you or anything, relax. I just wanted to talk to you away from him so he wouldn't get mad over it." She didn't move, and he let out an irritated growl. "If I really was going to rough you up, would you just sit there and take it?"

She stared down at her paws. "I don't like fighting...and I'm not any good at it. Jaypaw always talks about how you beat him...so I know that if you were going to fight me, you would win, simple as that."

"But you should still put up at least a bit of a struggle," Spiderpaw said, exasperated. "This is the reason you're not a warrior. You're not willing to stand up for yourself."

She nodded slowly, still staring at her paws. "Yeah. I know. Reedrush keeps telling me that. In a nicer way, I mean, but we both know what she's really saying..." She sighed softly. "Reedrush is frustrated with me. That's why she's leaving on the journey. She doesn't think she can help me."

Spiderpaw snorted. "She's right. She can't help you. You've got to help yourself. Grow a backbone; I know having Fireblaze as a brother is probably tough, but still."

She glanced up at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

He cocked his head to one side. "What do you think I mean? He's loud, forceful, fierce. He has opinions, he sticks by them, and he makes sure that everyone knows it. You probably spent most of your life just trailing after him, agreeing with him, because he would badger you about it until you gave in otherwise. You're submissive to him, and in turn he protects her."

Her eyes widened, and he smirked, enjoying his superiority. "I'm quite observant."

She shrank back from him. "Why are you talking to me about this? Is that why you came on this patrol?"

He flicked his tail with irritation. "No. You've just gotten me side-tracked a bit. What I followed you out here for is-"

He broke off, as Stormshadow's gruff voice entered his ears, "Blackpaw! Spiderpaw! What are you two doing?"

He let out an irritated hiss; Stormshadow would be coming after them in a few minutes. "Look, just pretend to be asleep tomorrow night," he meowed quickly. "I'm going to help you become a warrior, okay?"

Blackpaw stared at him, then nearly leaped out of her fur as Stormshadow's gray face appeared in the brush. He glared at the two of them – noticeably more towards Spiderpaw than Blackpaw – and flicked his ear.

"Quit messing around, you two. Let's go. I've got things to do," he growled. Blackpaw nodded meekly, picking up her finch and pushing her way through the brush; Spiderpaw hesitated, before slinking after her.

. . .

He spent the next few hours with the rest of the Clan, waiting anxiously for Eaglestrike and Shimmerfrost's return; the apprentices had grouped together again, although this time Fireblaze wasn't among them; he was sitting with the warriors now, and obviously enjoying himself.

Blackpaw avoided looking at Spiderpaw; she sat closest to Jaypaw, pressing her pelt against his; it was obvious that she would miss him when he was gone. Spiderpaw felt out of place; he longed for Bluepaw's company, but the blue-gray apprentice was obviously a bit busy with Silverstar and the chilling sickness.

He settled for Sootpaw, but she didn't even seem aware of him; she was gazing at the sky despite the fact that the sun was hanging nearly directly above her, her yellow gaze glazed and vacant.

Robinpaw was practically plastered to her brother's side; her green eyes were filled with worry at the thought of what she was going to do without her brother. Spiderpaw ignored her, but he could feel his cousin's emerald gaze raking his pelt.

Finally, just after sun-high, Spiderpaw's ears pricked at the sound of approaching pawsteps. Almost as one, the Clan turned to see Eaglestrike and Shimmerfrost entering camp.

Eaglestrike smiled, seeing that once again he didn't have to call his Clan together. Instead of moving forward, he stopped, sitting down and curling his tail around his paws.

"Shimmerfrost, alert Silverstar, if you please," he meowed quietly to the medicine cat; she didn't spare him a glance as she stalked into her den. Bluepaw and Silverstar appeared in the entrance moments later, with Forestheart's glinting just behind them.

"I spoke with Northstar, and Stonestar," Eaglestrike meowed once he saw that his leader was listening. "We told them of our prophecy. Blackmoon told us that he and Birdpaw had not received a prophecy...it seems that AshClan holds that honor." He gave Bluepaw a small nod, and she flushed underneath her dark fur. "However, PeakClan cats are most definitely sick; Blackmoon had at least three in his den." He sighed softly. "One...has already died."

Spiderpaw's eyes widened, and he glanced towards Sootpaw; she seemed to have snapped out of her reverie, and was staring at her father in shock.

"Snowpaw was sick for over two moons," Eaglestrike continued. "She died only a few days ago."

_She had two siblings...they were at that Gathering, the first one that I went to, _Spiderpaw realized. _Stonestar said that she was too sick to come...She had this disease. And now she's dead..._

"But Snowpaw was a brand-new apprentice, or at least that is what Stonestar said," Reedrush mewed. "How could she have gotten sick?"

Eaglestrike gave her a small nod. "Yes. Snowpaw had not been officially training for very long. However, Stonestar said that she was very eager to become a warrior, and that she would often spar with some of the other apprentices. One of the apprentices that she was close to is also sick; she probably received the disease from her own mentor, since he fought in the battle. The incubation period seems to vary from cat to cat...it obviously proceeded with Snowpaw quite quickly. We believe this is because PeakClan has no immunity to the disease. Most of AshClan hails from the original forest, or at least close to it; our bodies have adapted to the forest-sickness, and, in turn, it takes longer to affect us. PeakClan has no such immunities, save for Northstar."

"So, Northstar agreed to help us?" Frostfeather demanded. Eaglestrike nodded.

"He feels it is in PeakClan's best interest to cooperate," he replied. "However, he will not be the only cat going. He only intends to find the FrozenClan herb and bring it back; four other warriors will be accompanying our own for the journey for the true cure. They have already volunteered. Young Rabbitleap, Rainwind, Brackenpaw, and Swanpaw will be coming on the journey with our own warriors."

_Brackenpaw is Northstar's son...and Rabbitleap is his apprentice, _Spiderpaw thought suspiciously. _Swanpaw...isn't she Snowpaw's sister? Is she worried about getting sick too?_

He looked to Bluepaw, only to find that Silverstar was smiling and nodding.

"I knew that Northstar would help," she meowed. "However, I also know that he's impatient. He wants to leave soon, very soon, correct?"

Again, Eaglestrike nodded. "Tomorrow, actually," he meowed. "At dawn. PeakClan will be waiting for us at the river." He turned to the rest of the Clan. "I suggest all of you that are going to wish Reedrush, Jaypaw, Bluepaw and Thistlethorn goodbye do so as quickly as possible...we have no way of knowing how long this journey will take, or where it is even headed."

He rose to his paws, padding into the medicine den; Shimmerfrost and Silverstar followed him, but not before the silver leader whispered something to Bluepaw. Bluepaw nodded, and smiled, then trotted towards the other apprentices.

"Tomorrow? You're leaving so soon?" Redpaw asked, touching his sister's nose with his own as she joined them. "Did StarClan tell you when you'll be back?"

Bluepaw sighed quietly. "No, they didn't...the whole prophecy is really confusing," she confessed. "There are at least three herbs that we have to gather and combine..."

"Why not tell us some of the prophecy? Maybe we can help," Blizzardpaw offered. Bliuepaw's ears flattened.

"I'm not supposed to, StarClan said not to," she mewed nervously. "The prophecy...it's sort of a line-at-a-time sort of thing, and they said it wouldn't do any good to figure it out ahead of time. We had to take each piece as it happened, once we made it to FrozenClan's sacred place."

Spiderpaw snorted. "That's stupid."

Bluepaw shot him a glance, her blue eyes anxious, and he felt a small prickle of guilt. "I mean, it just...doesn't make sense, I guess, why they would give such a weird prophecy and the orders," he said quietly.

Bluepaw shrugged. "StarClan works in mysterious ways, I guess? I don't know...but there's nothing that we can do but trust them." She yawned, then grinned, some of her old twinkle reentering her eyes. "I'm just worried about getting up so early!"

Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched; that was the thing that he liked about Bluepaw. She didn't hold grudges, or dwell too much on the past, or hold onto the negative feelings like he did. She let the go, moved on, and smiled. He knew Shimmerfrost didn't like Bluepaw very much, and the Clan mostly thought that she was a ditz, although they loved her for it...but he respected it. He could see it for what it was; a coping mechanism, something to allow her to move past the hard parts of her life so that she could focus on the good.

_Considering what she went through as a kit...well, if I could, I would like to just smile away my problems too, _Spiderpaw thought. _But I hold onto them, think about them until they're bigger and more troublesome than they were before...I hold grudges, like Firepaw does. I don't just let things go._

He realized that he had been staring at Bluepaw while he was thinking, and he flushed, quickly looking down at his paws.

"Are you sure you really want to go?" Robinpaw asked her brother anxiously. "I mean...there are other apprentices that could take your place...and I feel fine. You don't have to go just because you feel like you need to protect me."

"I _want _to go," Jaypaw meowed. "I want to help. I want to be a part of something big...I mean, when our mother was our age, they had a giant enemy Clan to compete with, right? FrozenClan was causing problems even when they were only apprentices. PeakClan doesn't do anything like that, and we haven't heard from the Twolegplace cats in a long time either..." He trailed off.

"Ravenwing likes to say that every generation needs their own struggle," Sootpaw mewed. "For hers, it was FrozenClan, and the struggle to build a Clan here. For the generation before her, it was the struggle to find a new home and negotiate with FrozenClan to allow them to stay there. For us...I guess this is our struggle. It's natural to want to be a part of it, especially if..." Her voice died away, and Spiderpaw glanced at her quickly; her yellow gaze was still troubled, almost far-away as she blinked up at the sky.

Blizzardpaw nudged his friend with his shoulder. "We'll be praying to StarClan for you guys to be safe," he promised. "And for you all to come home quickly."

Jaypaw let out a quiet purr. "Thank you."

The apprentices were silent then, for a little while; Blackpaw began grooming Jaypaw's fur. Spiderpaw glanced at Bluepaw, wondering if he should do the same, but she seemed preoccupied, looking towards the medicine den.

Finally, Spiderpaw rose to his feet. "I'm going to bring Jaggedclaw his food. He's probably hungry."

None of the apprentices looked at him; his fur ruffled slightly at being ignored, but he said nothing else, simply stalking towards the fresh-kill pile and grabbing a plump sparrow.

Jaggedclaw appeared to be asleep as Spiderpaw approached, but as Spiderpaw set the sparrow down cautiously at the entrance of the den, he saw that Jaggedclaw was not breathing slowly and deeply like a sleeping cat. He frowned, reaching out with one paw to touch Jaggedclaw's back.

The scarred tom let out a low, rumbling growl; he sounded like a Twoleg monster. Spiderpaw felt a prickle of nervousness, but he pushed gently with his paw.

Slowly, Jaggedclaw shifted, until his single eye gleamed at Spiderpaw in the darkness of the den. "What do you want?"

His voice was a low growl as well, gravelly, as if his throat was dry. Spiderpaw made a note to get some moss and fill it with river-water for him.

"I brought you some food," he meowed, pushing the sparrow towards him. Jaggedclaw stared at it, then closed his eye.

"I'm not hungry."

Spiderpaw frowned again, but he felt a flutter of sympathy for the old tom; it was obvious what was eating him. He sat down, curling his white-tipped tail around his paws.

"This journey might be a good thing for her," he said softly. "It will give her some time to cool down...some time to see what it's like when you're not around. She'll have time to miss you."

Jaggedclaw was silent, but Spiderpaw knew that he was listening. "She's just angry that you don't trust her enough, that you don't think she can take care of herself. She was right; she's a grown warrior. She can hunt and fight like anyone else, if not better because of what she's had to endure in the past. She can handle this journey."

The scarred tom remained silent, and Spiderpaw cocked his head to one side. "Or are you mad that you're not able to go? That you're confined to this den while she can go wherever she wants? Do..." He hesitated. "Do you think she's going to leave you behind?"

Jaggedclaw said nothing for a moment, but Spiderpaw waited; he could be patient when he needed to be.

"Both," the tom rumbled finally, opening his eye again. "Or neither, maybe. I don't know. I just...don't want her to go." He spread his paws, almost in a motion of helplessness, and Spiderpaw felt pity prickle over his pelt.

"When she went to Twolegplace before...I was with her," the gray tom said slowly. "The first time, I helped her through it. The second time, we had to save Eaglestrike and the others. We were always together...so I could make sure that she wasn't sniffing around where she shouldn't be going. But now...I'm not there to stop her...and I'm pretty sure there's someone she's going to be looking for. I think I let something slip, a long time ago, and if I know Reedrush, she won't stop until she figures out what it meant..." A deep sigh forced itself out of him, sounding as though it came from his very bones. "It's dangerous, looking for knowledge like that. There are things that she thinks she wants to know about me, about where I've been, but...she doesn't want to know them. She can't. And if she tries, I think she might end up getting hurt."

Spiderpaw blinked slowly. "She's going to be with four other warriors...Thistlethorn, Rabbitleap, Rainwind, and Northstar. They're not going to let anything happen to her."

"You don't know her!" Jaggedclaw insisted. "She doesn't understand boundaries, or impossibilities. I'm not even sure she knows what danger is. She escaped from a Twoleg prison in the middle of leaf-bare, with kits on the way. She nearly killed herself. If I hadn't found her..." He shook his head. "It's like she thinks she's invulnerable. And so long as I was there to protect her, she was. But I failed, and now I'm here, and there's nothing I can do for her...I should be the one on that journey, not that Thistlethorn whelp. He's still wet behind the ears. He's never been farther than that lake, but do you think the answer is really going to be that close? He can't possibly be prepared for what's out there...and for that matter, neither are those PeakClan cats. They're sheltered, soft. The only one that might be able to protect Reedrush is Northstar, and I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him."

_A long time ago, that would have been pretty far, _Spiderpaw couldn't help but think. _But now...you're practically powerless. Even as strong as you used to be...I bet even Blackpaw could beat you in a fight._

"She'll come back," he meowed. "You've got to trust her. And she might find out things about you, but that's okay. Everyone in AshClan can see that she's...quite fond of you. And no matter what she finds out there, she always will be."

Jaggedclaw snorted. "You're naive. You're as sheltered as a PeakClan kit. You have no idea what's out there. You have no idea what one cat can do to another..." He sighed again, more quietly this time, and he rested his head on his paws. "Take the sparrow to someone else. I've no appetite for it."

Spiderpaw considered being stubborn, but something told him that Jaggedclaw was one of the few cats that wouldn't relent; he bent to pick up the sparrow, and headed back to the other apprentices. His gaze settled upon Bluepaw; as if sensing it, she turned to blink at him, and he flicked his tail, beckoning her to him. She rose to her paws after giving her brother's ear a quick lick, and trotted towards him.

"I figured you probably haven't eaten today," he meowed, lying down and dropping the sparrow; she brightened, lying down beside him.

"You're right," she mewed, and her stomach gave a gentle rumble as if to prove it. "I've been trying to keep Silverstar's fever down most of the day, and talking to Forestheart...he's worried, of course, but he's been worried for two moons now." She nibbled on the sparrow, and let out a purr. "Did you catch this?"

"No," he admitted; Fireblaze hadn't given him any trouble recently, but then again he hadn't been out hunting much either. "I guess I'll be hunting tomorrow...after you're gone." His ears flattened at the thought.

"Yeah..." Bluepaw's eyes darkened, and Spiderpaw felt a pang of guilt; he was sure that she was scared and worried about the journey just like everyone else, and he didn't want to be the one to remind her of it.

"Why do you have to be the one that goes?" he blurted. Bluepaw blinked in surprise. "Shimmerfrost is perfectly capable, and wouldn't she be more useful in treating injuries and stuff? The only thing she's going to do here is help with the sick cats, but since we can't treat the chilling disease, it doesn't seem like having a medicine cat here helps us much at all?"

Bluepaw stared at him for a moment, and her ears flattened. "I don't want to go either," she confessed, "but I have to. Shimmerfrost...she has this thing, where she sees like...I don't know, shadows or something. Dark spirits, I guess. They don't really exist, but...they terrify her. The only time that she doesn't see them is when she's around cats that make her feel safe...if anything, it would be worse on the journey, because she's not at all safe around PeakClan. Silverstar...she's one of the few cats that Shimmerfrost really likes. Silverstar makes her feel safe and protected. Her visions are getting worse, I think...they have been ever since Silverstar was hurt, because after that it was like she couldn't even protect herself, let alone Shimmerfrost. If she went on the journey...I don't know what it would do to her. And PeakClan didn't get the prophecy...so it has to be me." She stared down at her paws. "But I think I'm just as scared as Shimmerfrost is."

"I don't want you to go," Spiderpaw mewed. Bluepaw looked up from the sparrow, as if startled; he couldn't be sure, but he thought she might have been flushing underneath her fur.

"I didn't mean it like that," he said hastily, flushing underneath his fur as well. "It's just that...you're one of the only cats that can stand me, I guess."

Her whiskers twitched. "Furball," she purred. "Maybe if you were actually nice to the others, they'd like you more."

"Maybe if they weren't all stupid furballs, I'd be nicer," he retorted, and she laughed.

"Some of them are furballs, I will admit, but some of them are nice, too. Give Blizzardpaw a chance, or Robinpaw...Blackpaw might be a bit timid for your tastes, but she's nice too. They'd like to be your friends, if you would let them."

Spiderpaw took a bite of the sparrow. "I don't need friends," he replied, as he often did to himself. "I just need cats that will respect me."

She blinked. "Well, if you're always a prickly mouse-brain, they won't respect you either," she pointed out. "It's a give-and-take kind of thing. You've got to let them in and let them see the good stuff, so they can start to look past the bad stuff. Friendship is a kind of respect too, you know."

He rolled his eyes. "Do you medicine cats always have to be so _wise?" _She laughed again.

"I really doubt Shimmerfrost would ever call me 'wise.' I appreciate it, though," she purred, flopping on her side and pushing the rest of the sparrow towards him. He finished it off, then copied her as she rolled onto her back just as a cloud covered the sun.

"I respect you, Spiderpaw," she said after a moment. "Because we're friends."

He turned to look at her curiously. "We are?"

She twitched her whiskers at him. "As close as you're going to get to one, I think."

He rolled his eyes at her again, but she only smiled.

"I hope the other apprentices are nice too," she said after a brief lull. "Brackenpaw's sort of okay...I've talked to him at Gatherings before. But the other apprentice, Swanpaw...I'm not sure about her. The other apprentices call her the 'ice queen,' after her mother. I'm not sure we'll get to be friends."

"Who cares? They're PeakClan cats. They're the enemy."

"Medicine cats are supposed to be above that, though. Birdpaw and I are good friends, I really like her...Blackmoon says I remind him of her. If that's true, I should be okay with Northstar too, since he's her dad...but I think it's important that our two Clans have cats that are friends with each other. We're going to be relying on one another during this journey, and the cats that stay here will too."

"What do you mean? Why would we need their help?"

"They might need us more than we need them," she admitted. "The sickness is really hurting them...Eaglestrike said they already had three other cats sick, right? And that poor apprentice died...PeakClan can't resist the disease, so they're going to have a really hard time keeping up with all of the sick and the hungry. It'll be a lot of work for them, and we should help them out...our Clans don't like each other now, but we have to band together against outside forces."

"Like Cane and Amber," Spiderpaw said, remembering one of Ravenwing's stories. "They were siblings that hated each other, but together they kept Carmelo down."

She nodded. "But after Cane died, Amber didn't know what to do...and Carmelo is probably a lot stronger now. It's the same with our Clans. If PeakClan perishes, we get their territory, but we're also defenseless against outsiders, like the Twolegplace cats. Without PeakClan's numbers, our Clan is too small to really stand a chance."

_That does make sense, I guess, _Spiderpaw admitted. _I've always thought of PeakClan as the enemy...but Bluepaw's right. Sometimes, they're our allies._

The two of them were quiet then, just watching the clouds pass over the bright blue sky; it was a beautiful sight when framed by leaves of gold, orange, and red. Spiderpaw felt oddly relaxed; he smiled as the clouds covered the sun for a brief moment, dappling the camp in shadow. Bluepaw's eyes seemed to glitter right beside him, as bright as the sky itself.

"Bluepaw..." He glanced at her, his green eyes bright compared to his dark fur. She glanced back at him, still smiling. "I...I'm really going to miss you."

Bluepaw blinked slowly, her blue eyes darkening slightly. "I'm going to miss you too." She reached out with her tail, touching his flank, and his pelt prickled furiously as if it was crawling with ants. He swallowed nervously, but didn't look away from Bluepaw's dark eyes.

"Bluepaw!" Shimmerfrost's sharp voice nearly made both of them leap out of their fur. Bluepaw flopped over on her side, and turned; Spiderpaw followed her gaze to see Shimmerfrost glared at her apprentice from the den entrance. "I'm going to collect some herbs. Watch Silverstar when I'm gone. Make sure she eats some more feverfew. I'm going to see if I can find any lavender."

Bluepaw's ears flattened, but she nodded. "Okay, Shimmerfrost," she mumbled. The silver tabby stalked out of the camp entrance; Bluepaw shot Spiderpaw a glance. He sat up slowly.

"Um, I guess you have to go," he said, feeling awkward. She nodded.

"Shimmerfrost always takes forever gathering herbs...I'll probably be stuck in there the rest of the day," she mewed. Then, she shrugged and smiled, although the smile did not quite reach her eyes. "I guess it's okay. I already said goodbye to everyone...I probably won't see you again, unless you're up at dawn tomorrow."

"I don't think I will be," he answered, "unless I'm dragged out on the dawn patrol again."

Her whiskers twitched. Then, before Spiderpaw could react, she darted forwards and licked his ear, before quickly backing away, flushing underneath her fur. "Bye, Spiderpaw," she mumbled, before turning tail and dashing into the medicine den. Spiderpaw blinked after her, feeling mystified.

**AN: Aww. Too bad she'll be gone most of the story. Oh well. Forbidden love is over-rated anyway, ya?**

**If you haven't already, take a glance at my 100 one-shots. I double-updated, so the newest one-shot pertains to this story (although only by a bit).**


	15. C h a p t e r 14

**AN: It is SO HOT here...nearly ninety degrees _indoors _because our AC has been broken for a week. Whyyyy. My computer's fan isn't working properly either, so it keeps overheating. ;^;**

**C _h a p t e r _14**

_She opened her eyes, and realized that she was walking; she tried to stop, but found that she could not; it was as if someone else was in control of her limbs. Panicking, she looked around, opening her mouth to call out for help, only to realize that she was surrounded by a group of cats. To her left, a swift river flowed, rushing furiously over smooth, gray stones._

_Swallowing, she found that she could turn her head; she looked over her shoulder and saw a small tabby tom padding along behind her; she blinked at him, but it was as if he was looking straight through her._

_She turned back to the front, trying to see over the backs and shoulders of those in front of her, to see who was leading the group; her eyes widened as she recognized the silver-gray pelt of Fogheart._

It's another one of those dream...memory...things, _she realized. _That must be why they can't see me...and I guess I can't stop because if I did I'd be left behind, right? Weird...They must still be looking for SkyClan...are they following this river?

_Turning her head again, she quickly counted the cats, blinking as she realized there were only fifteen present; confused, she counted again, but the result was still the same; only fifteen remained on the journey._

What happened to the sixteenth? _She looked over the group again, and saw that it was an apprentice that was missing; there were only seven apprentices. She frowned, trying to remember which one was absent, but could not; all of the journey cats had seemed to blend together at the Gathering, and she could only remember a few of them._

_Her gaze drifted over the camp as she picked up the cats she remembered; Fogheart from ThunderClan, and his ginger apprentice, the white WindClan she-cat, the brown tom from ShadowClan, and the tortoiseshell RiverClan warrior. They had been the first to volunteer; it was the only reason she remembered them._

So, one of the apprentices is missing...what happened to her, or him? Redstar said they couldn't come back until they found SkyClan, so he or she couldn't have just left...and even if they had, another apprentice would have had to take their place to make sixteen again, as it was agreed..._Her heart sank as she realized the apprentice must have died somehow; a fall, an enemy creature, a disease, something had killed the him or her._

_Her ears suddenly pricked as one of the nearby cats spoke; it was the tortoiseshell from RiverClan._

"_I told you we should have crossed the river," she said; her voice was tight, cross. "We should have stayed in the middle, so we could keep both branches in sight. We can't see the left branch of the river __at all anymore."_

_Fogheart paused a moment to look at her. He nodded. "You're correct...I thought that the two branches would eventually meet up again, but apparently not..." He frowned. "Should we try and go over now?"_

"_Definitely not!" the brown tabby from ShadowClan exclaimed. "It's too fast here."_

_Looking at the river, Sootpaw thought he was right; it reminded her of the river dividing PeakClan and AshClan's territory; it was fast, fierce, dangerous._

_The tortoiseshell snorted. "Hardly. A RiverClan kit could make it across this river with their eyes closed."_

"_We can't all be RiverClan kits, now can we, Amberfur?" Fogheart asked mildly. He stopped, flicking his tail and signaling for the rest of the group to stop as well. "But the fact remains that we need to get over the river. We have three options; we can backtrack and find an easier place to cross, we can try to cross here, or we can continue ahead and find a place to cross there."_

"_Going back will only waste time," another warrior meowed; he smelled of the same swift-flowing water that Amberfur did, so Sootpaw guessed he was from RiverClan as well. "We should cross here. It shouldn't be too hard."_

_Fogheart glanced towards the ShadowClan warrior that had objected before. "What do you think, Oakclaw?"_

"_Going back would waste time, I agree with that," the tabby growled, "but it would be foolish to cross here. We'd have to swim over. ShadowClan has already lost one apprentice...we don't want to lose another." He glanced towards the tabby apprentice that had been walking behind Sootpaw; she glanced at him curiously as well, watching his ears flatten with discomfort._

"_We should go on ahead and find a better place," Oakclaw continued. "It's best to be safe."_

_Fogheart nodded, then glanced towards the white she-cat of WindClan, waiting for her judgment. She looked nervous._

"_I don't think going back to a safer place to cross would be such a waste of time...I mean, we can move quickly," she mewed. "It wouldn't be too much trouble."_

_The rest of the eyes turned to Fogheart; he seemed deep in thought. Finally, he shrugged. "I don't see a reason for us to find the other river in the first place. I think it would be safest to remain on this side and follow this river. We'll have to make a decision as to which to follow eventually anyway, if they don't meet up again farther down. We might as well choose now."_

_Amberfur snorted. "For all we know, SkyClan could have stopped and decided to stay in the land between the two rivers, where they would be safe from harm. We should follow that path to make sure. __I think it makes the most sense. We're also less likely to find any enemies there, since neither foxes nor badgers like getting their paws wet."_

_Fogheart rose to his paws. "Feel free to cross the river yourself, RiverClan, but I don't think we will join you, for the moment. We don't want to lose more time by going backwards, " he paused to nod towards the white she-cat, "and if we can find a safer place ahead of us, we might try to cross," he flicked his tail towards Oakclaw, "but at this moment I feel no need to follow both branches of the river."_

_Amberfur sneered, then flicked her tail to the other RiverClan cats. "Fine. RiverClan is not so afraid to get their paws a little wet."_

_She rose to her feet, and the other RiverClan cats followed her, following her into the river. Sootpaw blinked, feeling a sense of unease as she watched the two RiverClan apprentices; they looked hesitant, especially the smaller of the two of them, a little black she-cat._

_Amberfur slipped into the flowing river, the water seeping into her fur; her eyes widened in surprise for a brief moment as the river tugged her downstream, but she quickly regained control; she flicked her tail for the others to follow her._

_The other warrior and both apprentices followed suit, padding into the water; the black she-cat's eyes were wide, and Sootpaw realized she was too small to touch the bottom. She could see the she-cat's legs working quickly underneath the surface, propelling her forward, but she could also see that she was losing ground; the she-cat wasn't strong enough to compete with the river's current. She opened her mouth to alert Fogheart and the others to the apprentice's danger, but they were already padding up the bank; the other RiverClan cats were too focused on their own crossings._

_Finally, Amberfur looked over her shoulder, her eyes widening as she realized the black apprentice was drifting._

"_Nightpaw, swim to the right! Swim towards us!" she ordered. "The current is faster to your left!"_

_Sootpaw could see Nightpaw's paws churning, but the she-cat was already losing strength; she was slowly drifting towards the left. Sootpaw turned slightly, searching for the deeper current that Amberfur had mentioned, and her heart sank as she saw how swiftly the river flowed there._

"_Hang on, Nightpaw, I'm coming," Amberfur meowed, swimming forwards, but she was too late; Nightpaw's hindquarters were twisting behind her, already caught by the flow, being tugged, and the black she-cat only had a moment to cry out before the river tore her away, pulling her under, tossing her like she was a piece of prey._

_Sootpaw was nearly knocked over as a white streak rushed right in front of her nose; it was the WindClan she-cat, racing down the bank, following Nightpaw; the two of them quickly disappeared from sight. Knowing there was nothing they could do, the RiverClan warriors turned, swimming back to Fogheart's group's side._

_Amberfur emerged from the water without pausing to shake her fur dry; she moved as if to try and head after Nightpaw and the WindClan she-cat, but Fogheart touched her flank with his tail and shook his head._

"_There's nothing you can do. We have to hope that Whitecloud could catch up with her," he said softly. Amberfur's ears flattened, but she said nothing, her eyes staring forward urgently._

_Time seemed to fly before Sootpaw's eyes; one moment the sun hung above her, the next it was nearing the horizon. Finally, in the distance, a white pelt appeared. Sootpaw strained to see, but there was not a water-logged black shape next to Whitecloud._

_Whitecloud approached with her ears flat and a small shake of her head. "I couldn't catch up," she said miserably. "At the speed she was going, she's probably over the falls by now..."_

_Fogheart touched her pelt gently with his tail. "You tried your best."_

_Amberfur bowed her head in sorrow, her haughty RiverClan visage abandoned, humbled by the loss of Nightpaw. Fogheart pressed his pelt against hers, and for a long moment, there was nothing but silence._

_And then..._

_Sootpaw blinked, closing her eyes for only a second, but when she opened them again she was surrounded by mist. Her ears flattened, and she glanced around anxiously, but there was no one there, no eyes watching her._

What do these dreams mean? _She wondered. _I think they're of the past...I've never heard of any of those Clans before, but...what am I supposed to learn from them? Am I seeing them because they're going on a journey, like we are? Both journeys require two warriors and two apprentices from each Clan, just like ours...that can't be a coincidence. And two of the apprentices have died so far, in their journey..._Her eyes widened. _Does that mean two from ours will die as well?

What does Chillpaw know about all this? He seems to think that I'm going to be on the journey. I want to. I feel like I should be...like it's my destiny, or something. By day I would travel alongside PeakClan cats...and by night, Dark Forest cats..._She suddenly felt small, insignificant, as helpless as a kit. _These aren't things I should have to be dealing with! _She thought suddenly. _This isn't the sort of thing that cats my age are expected to handle! Sicknesses, visions, Dark Forest cats...I don't want any part in this, any of it! I don't want to be the one seeing these things.

Why does it have to be me?

_Her shoulders slumped, and for a moment she wished desperately that she could share her dreams with someone. _

Yeah, that would go well. Hey, Ravenwing, guess what? You know that evil cat that caused Silverstar to go kind of crazy? He's chatting with me in my dreams. We're practically best friends now...and I'm going to help him and his Dark Forest friends come back to life! Great, huh? Not only that, but now I'm having dreams of a journey that might or might not have happened in the past, with Clans that might or might not have even existed. Fun stuff!

_Her ears flattened as she realized she sounded like Spiderpaw, the grumpy furball. She sighed. She didn't want to end up like him, snapping at everyone and being rude all the time...but she didn't want to handle this all by herself, either._

I need someone to talk to, someone to help me with these visions...the Fogheart ones are the ones that worry me the most, since I don't understand what they mean at all! At least the Dark Forest stuff sort of makes sense...

_Her head turned slightly, as something occurred to her; one cat that would not mock her or disbelieve in her visions. _Can I trust him? I mean...he probably knows more about this than I do, but...

_She sighed softly; she didn't exactly have many other options, now did she?_

"_Chillpaw?" she called uncertainly into the mist. "Chillpaw, I'm coming, okay?" She padded forwards slowly, into the mist, and slowly it cleared before her eyes; the Dark Forest entered her vision, as shadowy and creepy as ever; she saw the glow of Chillpaw's eyes and the glimmer of his white fur, as he grew nearer and nearer. She closed her eyes as their noses touched, and his chill ran through her body._

"_Hello, Sootpaw," he said softly. She looked past him, and her eyes widened as she realized that the other members of his group were asleep. Turning around, she blinked; this wasn't the same place as they had met before. The trees were thicker here; they almost seemed to loom over her, like angry shadows, and she quickly looked away from them._

"_Hello again, pet," she heard Blight purr; she flinched at the sound, her ears flattening as he rose from the group of sleeping cats._

"_What are you doing?" she asked, glancing at Chillpaw. "Why are they asleep? Where are we now?"_

"_We're still in the Dark Forest, of course," Blight meowed. "We've been moving, like we told you...we're heading for the Pool of Eternal Night. It's a long way, pet."_

"_Blight, you can go to sleep now, thank you for your help," Chillpaw meowed; Blight's eyes narrowed and he glanced towards Sootpaw, before smiling and shrugging._

"_Fine," he meowed, giving a theatrical yawn before slinking back towards the others, curling up and resting his head on his paws._

"_I didn't think Dark Forest cats could sleep," Sootpaw said slowly. She looked to Chillpaw. "Can you dream, too?"_

_He shook his head. "We can't really sleep. It's just an...unconscious state, if that makes any sense. Even dead cats need their rest, I suppose...I had a feeling you would come, so Blight and I volunteered to stand guard for the night." He anticipated her question, and said, "It's a dangerous journey, and there are many bad cats here. We've got to keep our guards up, or we'll be murdered in our sleep, especially with you around."_

_She was confused. "With me around? What do you mean?"_

_He laughed. "Your scent, Sootpaw. You smell of fresh air, of leafy forests, of sweet water. You smell like life, and believe me, any cat for hundreds of fox-lengths around can smell you. You'll draw attention to us. Few cats know of the Pool of Eternal Night and special ceremony, but they will still be drawn to you, if only to your light...like moths to a flame."_

_She blinked at his odd analogy – didn't everything fear fire? - then shrugged. It wasn't really important._

"_So it's dangerous to travel with me? Then shouldn't you try to keep me away, so you don't attract attention to yourself?"_

_Chillpaw shook his head. "No. You have to form bonds with us, in order for the ceremony to work."_

"_Bonds?" she swallowed. "Like...blood bonds, or something?"_

_He let out a quiet purr. "No. Nothing like that...nothing dangerous for you at all. You'll see, along the way. There's no reason to wonder about it now. Why are you here? Do you have something to ask me?"_

_Her ears flattened as she realized how stupid it was, coming to Chillpaw for help...but at the same time, she had no one else to turn to, no one else that would understand._

"_I've been having these...these dreams," she said tentatively. "Visions, of a journey that I think happened a long time ago. And I think they have something to do with what's happening now, but I don't really know for sure..."_

_His cold eyes glinted with interest. "Do tell."_

_She explained as quickly as she could, and for a long moment Chillpaw was silent._

"_Do you think StarClan sent them?" she asked finally, when he didn not speak. "Do you think they mean something? Like...like is their journey some weird parallel of ours?"_

"_I'm almost certain that StarClan sent them," Chillpaw meowed, "for certainly none of us did. Our power doesn't extend that far...odd, though, that it is of the past...StarClan doesn't much dabble in the past."_

"_You said that you thought I'd be busy...did you mean with the journey? Am I going to go on it?"_

_His whiskers twitched. "I can't tell the future, Sootpaw. But yes, I suspected that you would go. It seemed the sort of thing that you would do, trying to be a hero for the Clan, and proving yourself. After all, you don't have a mentor to leave behind, right?"_

_She blinked; that hadn't occurred to her before. Then, she frowned. "You can't tell the future?"_

_His whiskers twitched again. "No. That's more StarClan's department than ours...StarClan looks to the future, for their prophecies and such. They don't like to dwell on the past, to be reminded of their mistakes...it is the Dark Forest that looks at the past. Most Dark Forest cats are consumed by it."_

"_Trying to find out where they went wrong," Sootpaw said softly. "Trying to figure out where exactly they fell from favor..."_

_Chillpaw nodded. "Precisely. Looking to the future is useless for us; it's difficult for us to contact the living, and when you're already dead, what does the future have to offer? Not to say that it's impossible, of course...some cats have managed, but it's complicated. I've never pursued it myself."_

"_So, if this vision is from the past...why do you think StarClan sent it to me? Were they looking at their own mistakes? Does this journey parallel mine?"_

_Chillpaw shrugged. "If you look far enough into the past, if you truly _look,_ I think you will find that every journey is parallel to another...it's simply how they work. Lives are almost always lost, allies are found, enemies made...that's all the simple truth. If StarClan did show you these visions for some reason, it could be a variety of things. They could be warning you of things to come. They could be trying to fix their mistakes in the past, trying to learn from them, to protect those on this new journey. Or, this journey might hold important information of another matter...the destination, what they were looking for, how it all ended...something has to be important for them to show it to you. Of course, it could be all of those things combined; there's no way to know for sure, and StarClan is too cagey to just tell you, I'm sure."_

"_So...do you think this journey will lose two apprentices too?"_

_He shrugged. "It's a possibility. You only know how one died; there's no telling about the other."_

_She swallowed, hesitating, before asking the most important question, "Do you think I should go?"_

_He smiled. "That is your decision, not mine. You have to make it...but there are things to consider. If someone happens during the beginning of the journey, or at least early on, and an apprentice is lost, the journey will be that much closer to failure, especially since many fewer cats are going on yours. Every paw will be needed. Perhaps StarClan is telling you to go to make sure that there will be enough cats, even if something does happen to one of the apprentices._

"_Then, you must consider your own family and Clan. What will your family do if you go missing? And where would you be more useful; hunting and fighting for your Clan, or helping find the cure to the sickness?"_

_Her ears flattened as she thought of the pain her family would go through. Eaglestrike and Ravenwing would be frantic...Spiderpaw would be alone, since he had no other friends...they would all be worried about her._

But they'll know I'll be with five powerful warriors...they trust Reedrush, at least, if not Thistlethorn and the PeakClan warriors too. They know I'll be okay, right? And...I'm no good at hunting or fighting for my Clan...I'm just a burden right now, when everyone is needed to help support the sick cats and everything...I could keep up on the journey. I could manage the pace...and I would learn so much, more than I ever could at home without a mentor to guide me. It would help me more than any other training.

_Excitement prickled her paws, and Chillpaw blinked back at her calmly as she smiled._

"_Have you made a decision?"_

_She nodded slowly. "I think so. I think...I think I'm going to try and go. We need four apprentices, and if something really is going to happen to them, then I should be there."_

_Chillpaw nodded. "It's good that you've reached a decision...but be careful. If you die on this journey, then we will be stuck here...forever."_

_Sootpaw looked towards the sleeping Dark Forest cats, her eyes lingering for a moment on Shrew, who looked even smaller and vulnerable while asleep. She nodded. "I will be. I promise." She rose to her paws, then smiled hesitantly at the white tom. "Thank you for your help, Chillpaw."_

_He smiled back, although there was no warmth in his eyes or in the curl of his muzzle. "No. Thank you for helping us."_

_She turned to go, blinking with surprise as she saw Moonpaw waiting for her; quickly, she touched noses with the black apprentice, and everything dissolved to mist around her._

Her eyes snapped open suddenly; she stared ahead of herself for a moment, her eyes adjusting, before she slowly rose to her paws, looking towards the den entrance; bright moonlight dappled the camp, and she swallowed.

_They're leaving at dawn, _she thought. _If I'm going to follow them, I've got to be right after them._

Slowly, she sat back down; if Jaypaw noticed her absence when he left the apprentice den, he might be suspicious. She closed her eyes, feigning sleep, silently counting the seconds until dawn came.

She must have dozed off, for when she opened her eyes as a paw brushed her flank, she saw Jaypaw carefully stepping over his sleeping denmates, poking his head out of the den and pausing for a moment. He turned back to look into the den, and she quickly narrowed her eyes to slits so that he wouldn't realize she was awake.

Jaypaw bent by his sister's side, licking her ear gently in farewell, before leaving the den; Sootpaw's head rose slowly, as she strained to see him.

She could hear the journeyers whispering to one another, trying to remain quiet so as to not wake the entire Clan; and then, slowly, one by one they padded out of camp. Sootpaw's ears pricked, but she could hear nothing after several moments.

She swallowed nervously. _Now or never._

She rose to her paws, stepping carefully over her denmates. _Remember where your paws are, just like Ravenwing said, _she thought to herself; as she was thinking it, she felt her back paw brush the flank of one of the apprentices. She flinched, and glanced over her shoulder, freezing as she saw her brother's green eyes staring at her.

"What are you doing?" he hissed. Her ears flattened, and she turned to face him.

"Please, Spiderpaw," she whispered. "Please, don't say anything. I have to do this. It's my destiny."

He simply stared at her, and for once she realized her brother didn't know what to say.

"Okay," he said finally, much to her surprise. His ears flattened, and he stared down at his paws. "Just...try to stay safe, okay? Don't do anything stupid. Besides running away to go on a journey, I mean."

She found herself smiling. She reached forward, nuzzling his muzzle with her own. "I'll miss you, and your stupid sharp tongue," she mewed. Spiderpaw rolled his eyes at her, then sighed.

"I'll miss you too," he said softly. "Be careful. Keep an eye on Bluepaw...knowing her, she'll get herself into trouble."

She nodded. "I promise, I will."

Spiderpaw simply nodded, and then rested his muzzle on his paws, watching her. "Better hurry. The dawn patrol will be out soon. Remember the ferns."

She nodded again, then turned, heading out of the den quickly. She hesitated, almost wanting to return to the comfort and safety of her nest, before steeling herself, taking a deep breath.

_It's my destiny. I was chosen for a reason._

Quickly, before she could change her mind, she padded out of camp.

. . .

She smiled to herself as she rolled in the damp ferns, the same ones that Spiderpaw had shown her when they were sneaking off together; it felt like such a long time ago. The dew was clinging to the brush, disguising her scent further, just as it had when she had followed Silverstar and Forestheart out of camp that greenleaf morning.

_Remember all they taught you, _she thought, as she slunk through the grass, heading for the river. _Keep track of where your paws are. Stay low to the ground and out of sight. Make sure to hide your scent._

_They aren't going to be happy that I sneaked along for the trip...they won't let me join when they already have the four apprentices that they need. I'll have to follow them in secret, until they're too far away to try and send me home...or until something happens to one of the apprentices. _Her heart sank at the thought; she didn't want anything to happen to Jaypaw or the PeakClan apprentices, but she had the ominous feeling that something would.

It was easy to see where the patrol had gone, even without scenting; they had blazed a trail through the morning dew, and she followed it closely so that her own trail would be indistinguishable.

She stopped as she heard voices, and crept forward nervously, barely peering through the leaves of a bush. She blinked, feeling a tremor of anxiety as she saw that the PeakClan cats were already waiting for AshClan.

"You're all here and ready?" the white tom, Northstar, rumbled quietly; she shivered. His voice sounded like thunder rolling over the rocky cliffs of PeakClan's territory, and it sent a chill down her spine. As long as she had been alive, Northstar had been AshClan's ally, but she knew that in the past he had Silverstar had been deadly enemies.

"'We are," Reedrush said calmly, and Sootpaw felt a rush of admiration for the silver tabby as she blinked at Northstar without fear. Glancing away from him, Sootpaw looked at the other PeakClan cats; she knew Rabbitleap's distinctive short tail, so the other cat was Rainwind; his apprentice, Brackenpaw, sat close by, and she knew that the ginger-and-white she-cat had to be Swanpaw.

"Hello!" Bluepaw said excitedly to the other two apprentices. "I'm Bluepaw, AshClan's medicine cat in training!"

Brackenpaw nodded, but Swanpaw only rolled her eyes.

"We know that, duh," she said icily. Bluepaw blinked, but didn't look disheartened; she gave the two of them a bright smile. Jaypaw surveyed the PeakClan apprentices with nervous eyes; Thistlethorn bristled at Swanpaw's rudeness, but had the sense not to say anything.

"Now, the plan is that we are going to the mountains first, so that I can gather some of the forest-sickness's cure," Northstar growled. "That's the only part of the journey where I will be with you. For the rest, Bluepaw will guide you with whatever it was that StarClan told her."

The other cats nodded, and Northstar flicked his tail. "We have little time to waste. Let's go."

The other warriors followed him as he headed down the river bank; Sootpaw waited a moment before beginning to follow them, making sure to keep hidden in the brush.

"Isn't this exciting?" Rabbitleap purred to Bluepaw. "I always used to dream about this sort of thing, exploring all sorts of places, going on journeys and such! I just wish we had a little time to go sightseeing!"

Bluepaw shrugged. "I think it will be sort of fun, I guess...but I would kind of rather be home, too, with my friends."

Rabbitleap frowned, and Sootpaw saw her give the Peak a linger glance. "Yeah...I'm going to miss Hawktalon a lot...I hope he doesn't feel too lonely...he wasn't really happy about letting me go. His sister's sick, though, so he felt he had to stay behind."

Sootpaw's eyes widened as Swanpaw's ears flattened. _She lost her sister, and now her mother is sick too? _Sootpaw thought. _How awful. No wonder she wants to get away from all that._

Bluepaw glanced over her shoulder, blinking at Swanpaw. "Hawktalon's sister is your mother, right? That must really stink, I'm sorry."

Swanpaw bristled. "I don't need condolences from a rogue, thanks," she hissed. "It's your Clan's fault that she's sick."

Bluepaw blinked. "How do you figure that?"

Swanpaw only snorted in reply; Brackenpaw glanced at her, before meowing to Bluepaw, "If Lion and TalonClan hadn't attacked us, the sickness would never have spread here."

Sootpaw blinked in understanding. _Of course, Northstar's part of that too. He started all of this. Funny how they don't mention that. _She sighed quietly. _It seems like this journey is off to a rocky start already...can we really work together? We're supposed to be allies, but..._

She glanced over her shoulder. _Maybe this would all be easier if I went back home. I mean, I could be wrong...no one knows for sure that something will go wrong...and I've got enough to worry about, right?_ But even as she argued with herself, she knew that she couldn't leave, not while there was even the slimmest chance that she would be needed.

"What route are we taking to go to the mountains?" Reedrush asked. "We're going through the Twolegplace, I presume?"

"If you want to die, then sure," Northstar grunted.

Thistlethorn bristled. "What are you talking about?"

"He just means that we don't know how things are in Twolegplace right now," Rainwind said quickly, smoothing things over. "We don't know how powerful Carmelo is; if he's gained strength since the battle, then he would almost certainly try to kill us."

Reedrush's eyes narrowed. "I still think it would be our best option. The Thunderpath is dangerous too."

"There aren't too many monsters this early, and we've got the tunnel," Northstar meowed firmly. "We'll be fine."

_Is she afraid of the Thunderpath, because of what happened to Birchpool and Jaggedclaw? _Sootpaw wondered; however, she could see something else in Reedrush's eyes, some quiet determination. _There's another reason she wants to go into Twolegplace...I just don't know what that would be. It certainly wouldn't be to talk to Carmelo, and I doubt that she really likes Amber that much either...so what is she looking for?_

She had to wonder in silence; she obviously couldn't approach them. _Not until we're through the marsh, at least, _she decided. _Crossing the Thunderpath won't be much fun, though...I wonder what tunnel he was talking about? Maybe I just didn't see it before because Reedrush didn't want to get too close when she was showing me the territory, with Blackpaw..._She felt a rush of nostalgia for that first excursion, only to realize how pathetic it was, to feel herself longing for her first tour of the territory, when she hadn't even been out with her mentor.

_Eaglestrike never did go with me like he promised, _she thought ruefully.

The sounds of the Thunderpath grew in her ears as they approached; the group was heading into the forest, forcing her to crouch and hide so that they wouldn't spot her. Her ears flattened as the Thunderpath came into view; monsters scurried over it, racing at tremendous speeds, and she flinched at the very idea of crossing it.

She continued to creep forwards, realizing that this was the closest she had ever come to the Thunderpath; she could see the tunnel that Northstar had been talking about, a narrow opening in the side of the slope leading up to the Thunderpath.

"I still think it would be best if we went through the Twolegplace," Reedrush meowed; Bluepaw nodded, looking nervous.

"We don't have any time to waste," Northstar snapped. "Going through Twolegplace would be a waste of time, not to mention dangerous. If you don't want to get your paws dirty by going through the marsh, then you can just stay here."

With that, the white tom disappeared into the tunnel; Sootpaw strained to see him, but could not from the angle at which she was crouching.

She heard his voice echo from within the tunnel, but couldn't make out what he was saying; Rabbitleap entered the tunnel without any hesitation, with Bluepaw right on her tail. Slowly, one by one, the other cats followed suit, although Sootpaw watched Reedrush give a glance in the direction of the Twolegplace before her silver tail disappeared from view.

Sootpaw forced herself to remain motionless; she knew that if she moved too quickly, she might alert them that she was following her; at the same time, if she wasn't fast enough then she might lose them in the marshes.

Slowly, she began moving forward, stepping as carefully and softly as she could. She could hear the group's voices, but they were echoing through the tunnel, sounding far away; she felt her heart thudding in her ears as she approached the tunnel, and she swallowed, trying to take a calming breath as a monster roared above her. She flinched, ears flat; when she pricked her ears again, she could no longer hear the voices of any of the cats.

She stared into the tunnel, shivering; the bottom of it was damp, and it smelled dank. She flinched as a monster roared over the Thunderpath, sounding as though it was going right over her head.

_Once I go in here...I can't go back out, _she thought. _The marsh isn't our territory. When I go through this tunnel, I'll be leaving AshClan's land...if I turned back right now, I wouldn't be in much trouble, but if I tried turning back after leaving the territory..._

_But...at the same time, when I leave this territory, I won't have my mother peeking over my shoulder, or my father trying to keep me under his gaze, or my brother embarrassing me...I'll be..._

Slowly, she took a step forward, feeling the water rush over her paws. She smiled slightly, and took another step, then another, and another, until she was padding through the tunnel with ease, not even stopping to flinch as more monsters rushed over the Thunderpath.

The end of the tunnel seemed almost to glow with starlight as she approached it, and when she opened her mouth, it wasn't mud or dank water that she scented.

It was freedom.

**AN: Fogheart's group and Firestar went the same way while looking for SkyClan; unfortunately, during Fogheart's group's journey, the river that they and Firestar followed branched into two separate branches, and they followed the wrong one. By the time Firestar and Sandstorm left in FQ, the branch that Fogheart's group followed had dried up, so he didn't have the same dilemma.**

**By the way, I'm most likely going on vacation this coming week, and since there is something wrong with my computer's battery (it only takes about an hour to die now, instead of three, and even that is being a little optimistic) I probably won't be bringing it with me. So the next update might be kind of extremely far away. Sorry! D:**


	16. C h a p t e r 15

**AN: I actually brought the computer on vacation! Feel free to cheer. I couldn't use it during the eleven hour drive (insert silent sobbing here) but I used it while we were hanging out at our condo, so enjoy this update!**

**C _h a p t e r _15**

"Spiderpaw! Spiderpaw, wake up!" His father's voice was tight, anxious. Spiderpaw opened his eyes with deliberate slowness; he hadn't slept a wink since dawn, but Eaglestrike didn't need to know that. Spiderpaw sent a quick prayer towards StarClan, thanking them for it being Eaglestrike instead of Ravenwing; she could read him all too well.

"What?" he asked, putting a bit of sharpness in his voice.

"Where's Sootpaw? Have you seen her?" his father asked quickly. "We found her scent when the dawn patrol went out this morning, but it just disappears...Did she say anything to you before she left?"

"No," Spiderpaw lied; his fur prickled uncomfortably; luckily, Eaglestrike was already too on edge to notice. His gray tail lashed anxiously from side to side. Spiderpaw stared down at his paws, unable to meet his father's gaze.

"She's probably just hunting," he said quietly. "She likes to go off by herself sometimes...just to think, you know?"

"I know that, but she always tells someone first, and she never goes off this early alone!" Eaglestrike snapped; Spiderpaw flinched, his ears flattening, and he glanced up at his father's face quickly. Eaglestrike sighed softly, touching Spiderpaw's flank with his tail.

"I didn't mean to yell at you," the gray tom said softly. "But if she's run off to...I don't know, to follow the journeying cats, I don't know what we'll do...they're probably too far away by now, they've definitely got a head start."

"Who's missing?" Robinpaw asked sleepily, raising her head. She blinked at the deputy slowly, before pricking her ears with alarm. "Wait, did something happen to the journeying group? Is Jaypaw okay?"

"They're fine," Eaglestrike assured her. "It's Sootpaw that has gone missing. Did she say anything to you?"

Robinpaw yawned, shaking her head. "No. I didn't even wake up when she left, I guess." She pushed the nearest apprentice to her, Redpaw, with one paw.

"Quit," he mumbled; Spiderpaw suppressed a snicker when he realized that Redpaw's voice was being muffled by one of his paws, which was in his mouth.

Robinpaw pushed him again. "Come on, furball, wake up. Eaglestrike needs to ask you something."

Redpaw blinked slowly, then yawned, pulling his paw out of his mouth as he did so; he stared at it for a moment as if uncertain as to how it had gotten there, before turning to Eaglestrike. "Yeah?"

Spiderpaw took the opportunity to touch Blackpaw's flank with his own paw, waking her up. She stirred slowly, her eyes widening as she realized it was him. Her gaze quickly flicked to Eaglestrike, who gave her a tense smile.

"I was just wondering if either of you knew where Sootpaw went? We can't seem to find her," the deputy meowed. Blackpaw blinked slowly, shaking her head to quickly; Redpaw only yawned again.

"I don't know where she went...maybe she took another dunk in the river," he said with a quiet laugh, only for his ears to flatten as he realized that none of the others were joining in. The ginger apprentice's ears flattened, and Spiderpaw smirked again.

_He doesn't have his pals around anymore, _he thought smugly. _Fireblaze is in the warrior's den, and Jaypaw's out on the journey. Redpaw's alone._

Then, he blinked as he realized that several apprentices were missing. "Where are Blizzardpaw and Leopardpaw?"

"Blizzardpaw was on the dawn patrol; he's the one that they sent back to alert me that they had found her scent," Eaglestrike answered, then frowned. "We don't know where Leopardpaw is either...she doesn't leave much of a trail. We think she was probably hunting, but until she comes back there's no way to know for certain..."

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed. He knew very well where Sootpaw had gone, and he also knew that she wasn't going to be found any time soon.

_But what is Leopardpaw doing out there? Did she run into Sootpaw on the way? _He wondered. _She goes hunting quite often...she always brings back something, at least to make sure that she doesn't look suspicious, but..._He frowned. She had no connection to Sootpaw, but at the same time he had the feeling that she was up to something.

"So none of you know anything?" Eaglestrike asked. The four apprentices shook their heads, and he sighed quietly. "Okay. Well, we're sending out a few more patrols to try and look for her...it would be good of you four to volunteer, if you can."

"Of course," Robinpaw meowed, and Eaglestrike gave her a nod, before leaving the den.

Redpaw rolled his eyes dramatically. "The deputy's daughter goes missing, and suddenly everyone's worried," he scoffed. "I bet if it was someone unimportant, they wouldn't even care."

"Like you?" Spiderpaw shot back, bristling. Redpaw's eyes narrowed, and for a moment he looked confident, before his gaze flicked around him and the ginger apprentice realized that he didn't have anyone on his side.

"That's my sister you're talking about," Spiderpaw hissed, enjoying the ginger apprentice's discomfort. "I suggest you keep your mouth shut."

Redpaw swallowed, looking nervous; then, his gaze found Sootpaw's empty nest, and a smile crept over his muzzle.

"I wouldn't be acting so brave if I was you," Redpaw growled. "Everyone knows that Sootpaw and Bluepaw were the only ones that can stand you. I've got Fireblaze, at least; you've got no one. You're all on your own, more than you ever were."

Spiderpaw's green eyes narrowed, but Redpaw was right; Bluepaw had been his only friend, and Sootpaw was his sister. All of the other apprentices had some sort of bone to pick with him...except Blizzardpaw, but he was too much of a coward to be much help.

Redpaw looked to Robinpaw, as if for approval, but she only gave him a scathing look.

"It's not nice to make fun of Sootpaw, or Spiderpaw," she meowed. Spiderpaw felt a moment of smugness, before she shot him the same look. "Even if Spiderpaw is a complete furball." She rose to her paws slowly, stretching. "I'm going to join one of the patrols that's looking for her, if either of you care."

"I want to help too," Blackpaw mewed quickly, and the two she-cats quickly left the den, leaving the two toms eying each other uncertainly.

"Hey!" a loud exclamation at the den entrance nearly made Spiderpaw jump. He swung around to face a grinning Fireblaze.

"Heard your sister is missing, huh? Doesn't surprise me. I'd run off if I had to look at your ugly mug all the time too!" the ginger tom purred. Fury crackled over Spiderpaw's pelt.

"Shut up," he snarled, only to be pushed by Redpaw; the ginger apprentice was emboldened now that his warrior friend was hanging around to back him up.

"She'll probably never come back, knowing you're waiting for her," he jeered. "I know I wouldn't. I'd be embarrassed just to be related to you!"

Spiderpaw turned towards the ginger apprentice, fur bristling. "I told you to shut up about my sister!" he hissed, crouching to spring, only to find Fireblaze knocking him over with his shoulder, pinning him down with one paw.

"Settle down, Spiderkit! What are you so angry about, huh? Better not let the big-shot deputy see you like this." Fireblaze's eyes narrowed. "I bet your sister won't even get in trouble for running away, since she's his daughter. She'll probably just get yelled at, don't you think? Now, if it was Redpaw here, who ran away without telling anyone...I think at the very least Eaglestrike would delay his warrior's ceremony."

"It's not my fault your stupid sister isn't a warrior!" Spiderpaw spat. "Let me go!"

Fireblaze's amber eyes burned. "What's that, Spiderkit? You don't like it when we talk about your sister, but you think mine's fair game? Huh? Is that it?" Spiderpaw let out a hiss of pain as Fireblaze's claws pricked him through his fur. He twisted around, sinking his fangs into the ginger warrior's leg, and felt a prickle of satisfaction as Fireblaze let out a yelp of pain.

"You little-" Fireblaze hissed, digging his claws into Spiderpaw's pelt, swatting his muzzle with one paw. Spiderpaw could see Redpaw looking excited out of the corner of his eye; he flailed, refusing to yowl for help as he struggled to free himself from Fireblaze's claws.

Fireblaze turned quickly as pawsteps approached; Petalcloud stuck her head into the den, blinking with confusion.

"Spiderpaw, what are you doing lying around?" she asked; Fireblaze had retracted his claws and blinked at his mother, a look of complete innocence on his face. "And Redpaw, you too. You should be doing something...I'm sure Forestheart has _something _for you to do!"

Redpaw nodded quickly, mumbling something to the calico as he slipped past her; Spiderpaw scrambled to his paws, giving Fireblaze a glare. He wanted to tell Petalcloud what her darling son was up to, but he knew that she would never believe him.

"Come on, Spiderpaw," she mewed, flicking her tail. "I'm sure you enjoy talking to Fireblaze about becoming a warrior, but you can do that later."

"Right," Spiderpaw grumbled under his breath. Fireblaze nuzzled his foster-mother's shoulder.

"I think I'm going to join one of the patrols looking for Sootpaw," he meowed. "It's scary to think that she might be stuck somewhere, hurt and unable to get home. Hopefully we'll find her."

Petalcloud let out a low purr, licking her son's ear. "I'm sure we will. Hurry, honey, or they'll leave without you."

Fireblaze left the den, brushing Petalcloud's pelt with his, but not before giving Spiderpaw a parting glare.

"What do you need me for?" Spiderpaw growled, following Petalcloud out of the den. "It sounds like all the patrols have plenty of cats. I'm sure they'll find Sootpaw soon. And it's way too early to be training."

Petalcloud laughed quietly. "It's never too early to train, dear, but that's not what I want you to do. I don't think Jaggedclaw has eaten anything since Reedrush volunteered to go on the journey; I'm worried about him. He doesn't have anyone to really look after him like Sootpaw does." She glanced at him over her shoulder, her amber eyes warm. "You're his friend. If anyone can convince him to eat, it's you."

His ears flattened. "We're not really friends," he mumbled. "At least, he's not friends with me."

Petalcloud blinked at him for a moment; then, she surprised him by licking his ear, almost as tenderly as she had with Fireblaze. "I don't think you give yourself enough credit, Spiderpaw," she said quietly, smiling at him, her amber eyes giving off a gentle, motherly glow. "Behind your thorny, prickly exterior there is a very strong, smart tom underneath. A lot of cats here would be your friend, if you would just let them in."

He rolled his eyes, flushing with embarrassment; Petalcloud didn't usually praise him so highly, or so often.

_She's just honeying me up so that I'll go along with whatever she says, _he thought. He scowled. "Fine. I'll go bring him something. But it's not my fault if he doesn't eat."

Petalcloud nodded, and he headed towards the fresh-kill pile, grabbing the nearest piece of prey before trotting towards the elders den.

Jaggedclaw's back was turned towards the entrance as he approached; the scarred tom didn't turn around as Spiderpaw dropped the fresh-kill on the sandy floor.

"Jaggedclaw," he said softly; the tom did not react. Spiderpaw felt a prickle of worry run through his pelt. "Jaggedclaw! C'mon, turn around. I brought you some breakfast." He reached out with one paw, only to freeze as the tom rumbled,

"Don't touch me."

"Jaggedclaw, you've got to eat. Petalcloud's been badgering me – literally." He tried to keep a cheerful tone, making light of the situation, but in reality he was worried for the older tom. Jaggedclaw said nothing, so Spiderpaw summoned up his courage again to poke the tom's back with one claw.

Slowly, the scarred tabby shifted his weight so that one eye gleamed at Spiderpaw in the darkness. "Leave me alone."

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to starve yourself to death, or what?"

Jaggedclaw's eye slowly closed; he said nothing, and Spiderpaw's pelt bristled.

"You're going to just lie here and mope?" the black apprentice demanded. "As soon as Reedrush leaves, you decide that life just isn't worth living?"

Jaggedclaw's eye opened again. "I've been considering this for some time, actually," he rumbled softly. "All I have now is time...time to think, to make decisions. If Reedrush would here, I'm sure she would stand in my way. She's quite good at that. But she's not, and it's likely that she'll be gone for some time. She'll get used to life without me again...and when she comes back, I'll no longer be here."

Spiderpaw simply stared at him for a long moment. "You're serious? You're just going to starve yourself?"

"What good am I?" Jaggedclaw spat. "I can't hunt. I can't fight. I can't even walk. Just making dirt is a challenge for me. Do you know how humiliating that is? I used to be one of the strongest cats anywhere, and now I am completely useless. I don't have any great wisdom to share. I haven't spent all my life working for the Clan. I spent less than a season helping AshClan root itself here...and now the rest of the Clan will be taking care of me for _years_ until I finally die. I'm just sucking up resources here. I have nothing to offer. I have nothing to give."

"But the Clan is fine with all that!" Spiderpaw insisted. "That's part of Clan life!"

"If I have served my time, if I had trained for moons to earn my warrior name and then served my Clan for a few good years before retiring, I would be fine with that," he growled. "But this sort of...early gratification doesn't sit well with me. Where I came from, it was every cat for themselves. Older cats had to fend for themselves as much as younger cats. Food wasn't just handed out. You had to _earn _it. Lying here every day without having earned this sort of rest is..." He shook his head.

"I don't expect you to understand, Spiderpaw. Clan cats are communal; they don't live the same way that I used to. Helping each other is in your blood. It's not in mine." He closed his eye again.

"Jaggedclaw," Spiderpaw mewed, feeling helpless. "I just can't let you die. And starving yourself, well..."

"You could make it easier on me." Jaggedclaw's voice was low. "A few poppy seeds...maybe four because of my side...that would do it." Spiderpaw simply stared at him as Jaggedclaw continued. "Shimmerfrost leaves most evenings. Sometimes she comes back with herbs, sometimes she doesn't, but that's not important. That would be your chance."

Spiderpaw's throat felt tight. "You're asking me to help kill one of my Clanmates."

Jaggedclaw fixed him firmly with his stern gaze. "No. I'm asking you to help a cat that used too be a proud warrior to die with a little dignity."

"Jaggedclaw..."

His eye closed again. "Take the prey to someone else who needs it more. Someone that can actually help the Clan." With that, the scarred tom turned, until his back faced the entrance once more.

Spiderpaw didn't move for the longest time. Then, he let out a quiet growl. "Fine. But I'm not going to help you."

Jaggedclaw said nothing, and Spiderpaw picked up the fresh-kill once more, his heart as heavy as a stone.

. . .

"Spiderpaw, what's wrong? You seem a bit...unfocused." Petalcloud blinked at him, concern in her eyes. "You missed that mouse by quite a bit; I could hear every movement you were making."

Spiderpaw stared down at his paws. "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

Petalcloud touched his flank with her tail. "I'm sure they'll find Sootpaw. We're looking over the entire forest now."

"I'm not worried about her," he meowed. It was half a lie; he was worried about her, of course, but not because she was missing as everyone thought. Rather, he was worried about her trying to track and follow much more experienced, much more dangerous warriors.

However, it wasn't Sootpaw that was on his mind.

_If only Bluepaw was here...I'm sure she would know what to do about Jaggedclaw, _he thought. _Medicine cats know all about that...emotional junk. She'd know how to make him eat. She'd know exactly what to say to make him feel better._

_I don't know why Petalcloud thinks I would be able to talk to him about this. Honestly, how should I have any idea how he feels? I'm not injured. I'm not useless. I'm not...well. I guess I am alone, like him since Bluepaw and Sootpaw are gone._

His ears flattened at the thought, and he quickly glanced towards Petalcloud. _Does she want me to help him because she thinks I'm like him? All bitter and angry? Are Jaggedclaw's injuries all __that separate us from being alike?_

He realized that Petalcloud was watching him.

"What's going on with you, Spiderpaw?" she asked. Her voice wasn't sharp, wasn't angry, wasn't demanding;it was simply curious. "If you're not worried about Sootpaw, then what exactly are you thinking about?"

His fur ruffled around his shoulders. "I'm not worried about anything. I'm fine. Can we get back to hunting now?"

Her whiskers twitched. "Spiderpaw, asking to hunt? There's definitely something wrong." She sat down, tucking her dappled tail around her white paws. "It's okay, Spiderpaw. You can tell me anything. It will just between us, I promise. Is it about Jaggedclaw?"

He opened his mouth to say yes, then paused; oddly, it wasn't really Jaggedclaw that was bothering him the most. He was worried about the scarred tom, sure; he was worried that Jaggedclaw might really end his life one way or another; he was worried that he wouldn't be able to talk him out of it; he was worried that he might fail to protect his Clanmate. But, at the same time, he also knew that there was very little that he could do for Jaggedclaw. The older tom had to make his own decisions, one way or another. What really worried Spiderpaw was his _own _decisions, the ones that would impact the course of the rest of his life. And there was one in patricular that he was uncertain of.

"It's Bluepaw," he blurted, then flushed underneath his fur, thanking StarClan for his dark coat. Petalcloud didn't look surprised as he had expected; instead, she smiled a knowing little smile.

"I see," she mewed. "Somehow I don't think you're only worried about how she's going to do on this journey."

His ears flattened. "Yeah."

She laughed quietly. "I've been told that such...feelings are very normal for apprentices. I've obviously never had the experience myself – I was born a kittypet, as you know – but as I recall, my close friend Swansong did have a crush on the tom next door." Her whiskers twitched at the memory.

"But Bluepaw isn't a kittypet, or even a normal apprentice," Spiderpaw said miserably. "She's a medicine cat apprentice. Someday, she'll be the medicine cat for our whole Clan. Medicine cats...well, you know, they can't..."

Petalcloud laughed quietly. "It's okay, Spiderpaw, I understand. I remember Swansong mooned over that tom for what seemed like _forever. _So when she announced that she wanted to leave, to go into the wild, I was obviously confused...but she said that she simply didn't care for him any longer. Feelings like that, especially when you're young...they pass very quickly. Apprenticeship is a troubling time; you're finding your place in everything. It's confusing, turbulent, difficult. If I had to guess, I'd say that you'll find another little she-cat that you end up liking, especially since Bluepaw won't be around again for some time. Fireblaze certainly did."

Spiderpaw's ears pricked. "Whoa, what? Fireblaze used to like someone?"

Petalcloud let out a _mrrow _of amusement. "Indeed he did. That was a long time ago, of course, but yes. The point I'm trying to make is that it's okay to like someone...even Bluepaw. That's not important. Your feelings might eventually change; hopefully they will. But, if you don't, then you've got a choice to make, and she does too. I can't tell you what to choose – duty or love - but I don't think I need to. I'm sure when the time comes that you'll know for yourself." She blinked at him, her amber eyes warm. "Do you feel any better now?"

To his own surprise, Spiderpaw smiled. "Yeah," he meowed. "Actually, I kind of do."

. . .

Spiderpaw returned to camp feeling pleased, his jaws full of prey, only for his ears to flatten as he saw his father's expression. It was one of complete hopelessness; Spiderpaw guessed that none of the patrols had found any sign of Sootpaw.

_Of course not, _he thought. _After all, she took all those lessons on stealth...she'll obviously be hard to catch..._

He was glad that his sister had succeeded in her mission, but at the same time he knew he had to play his part. Dropping his catches off at the fresh-kill pile, he padded towards the deputy.

"Any news? Did the patrols find anything?" he asked.

Eaglestrike's yellow eyes were dark with worry. "No, nothing. We've found nothing at all...I'm thinking about going over to PeakClan's territory and asking if they've seen any sign of her, or if they'll help us look...it's like she's simply vanished." He heaved a sigh, his shoulder's slumping. Spiderpaw felt a pang of guilt.

"Where's Mother?"

"She's still looking," his father answered. "She won't give up. She's scenting all over the place, looking in every nook and cranny...if anyone can find Sootpaw, it's her, but..." He swallowed. "Spiderpaw. It's possible that your sister might not be coming back. Do you understand? She could be...she could be walking with StarClan now." Eaglestrike's voice was thick, and Spiderpaw's stomach clenched.

"Isn't it possible that she decided to go on the journey? To follow the journeying cats?" Spiderpaw asked quickly. "She could be okay, if she's with them."

Eaglestrike shook his head. "She would have asked us...I'm certain of it."

"You would have said no," Spiderpaw meowed, almost defensively. "You wouldn't have let her go."

Eaglestrike looked towards the camp entrance, as if hoping to see his daughter waiting for him, or his mate returning with news. "No. Of course we wouldn't have let her go. She's young and inexperienced and helpless...she hasn't even caught her first prey yet. We would never let her go and do anything so dangerous. But..." He shook his head. "Maybe she did follow them. There's no way to know for sure; they're long gone now, most certainly. I hope that she's with them, and I hope that she's safe, but we won't know until Northstar comes back."

His ears pricked. "Northstar's coming back?"

Eaglestrike nodded. "Yes. He's bringing back the forest-sickness cure, in hopes that it can help stave off the disease. If Sootpaw is with them, I'm sure he'll force her to return with him...so hopefully we'll have her back very soon."

"Yeah..." Spiderpaw's brow furrowed with worry, but to anyone else it simply looked like he was worried about Sootpaw's welfare.

_What if Northstar brings her back early? What if she doesn't get to go through the whole thing? She'll be devastated...and in _so _much trouble when she gets back..._

His ears flattened, but there was nothing he could do for Sootpaw now; he just had to hope that both she and StarClan knew what they were doing.

He glanced at the sky; the sun was starting to set. There wasn't anything left for him to do that day...and he still had his session with Blackpaw to look forward to.

_Might as well try to get some sleep before then, so I'm not too tired tomorrow,_ he decided, and turned to pad into his nest, only to let out a furious hiss as he realized that his moss was gone. Again.

. . .

His ears pricked slightly as he heard the other apprentices entering the den; they yawned, murmuring to one another sleepily as they curled up in their own nests. He listened intently for any sign of guilt, any small admission, but of course there was none as the apprentices settled down to sleep.

He waited a long time, until the den was filled with the sound of slow and steady breathing, before he opened his eyes and stretched slightly. His belly scraped against the hard den floor, and he let out an irritated growl; he hadn't been able to go and get his new nest. Eaglestrike was more watchful than ever of his son, and Spiderpaw didn't want to answer any questions as to why he was replacing his nest yet again.

Spiderpaw swept his gaze over the den carefully, before rising to his paws; slowly, cautiously, he stepped forward, moving towards Blackpaw. Gently, he reached out with one paw, touching her flank; she didn't move. Letting out an annoying breath, he jabbed her with one claw. Instantly, Blackpaw's eyes sprang open, and she twisted around, her mouth open in a terrified yowl, only to find herself muffled by his tail.

"Shut up!" Spiderpaw hissed. "Do you want to wake up the whole camp? I told you just to _pretend, _not to actually fall asleep, idiot!"

Blackpaw stared up at him, looking terrified, and Spiderpaw grudgingly admitted that hissing at her probably wasn't the best way to gain her trust. He pulled his tail away from her mouth, flicking it in the direction of the entrance.

"We've got to hurry, if we want to use as much time as we can," he meowed. Blackpaw simply stared up at him, looking puzzled, before slowly rising to her paws. Spiderpaw tiptoed out of the den; glancing over the camp quickly; nothing stirred. Letting out a small sigh of relief – and silently thanking StarClan that Eaglestrike had eventually gone after Ravenwing and dragged her home – he crept towards the camp entrance, with Blackpaw trailing him like a shadow.

She was silent as they entered the forest; Spiderpaw hesitated for only a moment to scent the air, before he began moving through the brush as silently as he could. Blackpaw matched his pace easily; she was slim and sleek in the moonlight, nearly as stealthy as Leopardpaw; it was no wonder she was so good at hunting. He just hoped he could help her turn that speed and stealth into an advantage in battle.

Only when they reached the Moss Clearing did Blackpaw finally speak.

"What are we doing out here?" she asked, shivering as a chilling breeze swept over the two of them, sending leaves fluttering down all around the two apprentices.

"I told you, I'm going to help you become a warrior," Spiderpaw meowed. "We're going to train."

Blackpaw looked suspicious. "Why would you help me? You don't seem to like me very much at all...and I don't really know you all that well..."

"Because I'm tired of your idiot brother and his friends bothering me all the time, scaring off my prey and stealing my moss," he snapped. "If you become a warrior, they'll stop all that."

"I've been training with Eaglestrike," she mumbled. "He says I'm getting a little better..." She didn't sound certain of her improvement, and Spiderpaw rolled his eyes.

"He's just trying to make you feel better. From what I've heard, you're terrible. I'm a pretty quick study, so I'm going to see if I can help you out...if I had to guess, I'd say that my father will pair us up again when you are reassessed, to see how well you can do against me. You might not even have to beat me, so long as you've improved. That's what we're going to work on."

The black she-cat shivered again. "Spiderpaw, it's cold...and dark. I don't really feel, um, comfortable with this."

His eyes narrowed. "Do you think you'll feel more comfortable on the battlefield, with your Clanmates fighting around you, blood in the air, enemies' claws seeking your flesh?"

She flinched. "Um, no...but...it doesn't really seem right, us sneaking off in the middle of the night to train...Can't we do this in the daytime?"

"No way. I'm not spending more time than I need to with you, and besides, I've got my own training to do. I'm trying to become a warrior too, you know, as soon as possible. Being an apprentice stinks."

Her ears flattened. "I don't really mind it much...I mean, apprentice duties are sort of boring, and I guess it would be kind of nice to get the respect of a warrior...but being a warrior is really dangerous, too."

"That's your problem; you're a coward!" he spat. "You can't hide behind your brother your whole life. What if something happens to him, huh? Who's going to fight your battles for you then?"

She flinched again. "That won't happen. Fireblaze is really strong."

He snorted. "Right. Fireblaze is the best warrior that ever lived. You think he hung the moon and the stars, don't you? Sorry to break it to you, but he's not all that great. He's strong, sure, but he's arrogant and is about as smart as a dead squirrel. Eventually he's going to do something stupid in battle, and it's going to cost him, and you aren't going to have anyone to protect you. You've got to protect yourself. Now," he crouched, "try to block my attack, okay?"

She stared at him with wide yellow eyes, as if he was an approaching fox; he waited a moment, before performing a straightforward maneuver, charging at her head-on; this time, however, he wasn't performing the move simply out of anger, as he had during that first battle with Leopardpaw; he was trying to gauge her reaction time, her default defense.

To his surprise, Blackpaw closed her eyes and braced herself for the strike. He didn't hold back, plowing into her with outstretched paws and tackling her to the ground. She let out a muffled sound of pain as her back hit the moss.

"Why in StarClan's name would you close your eyes?" Spiderpaw asked, disbelief in his voice; he hadn't thought that Blackpaw would be this unwilling to defend herself. "What on earth is wrong with you?"

She stared up at him mutely, looking paralyzed with fright; with a growl, he backed off, allowing her to scramble to her paws. She faced him again, her shoulders slumped slightly and her tail hanging low.

"Did you think I was just going to stop, or what?" he demanded.

"I-I don't know," she stammered. "I just...froze up." Her ears flattened. "It happens a lot...Reedrush says I just need to relax, that my Clanmates won't hurt me, but how can I relax when a cat is running right towards me?"

"You don't _relax._ You defend yourself!" he exclaimed. "Move out of the way, dodge it, perform a counterstrike..._something. _Anything is better than just sitting there like a moon-struck mouse!"

She stared down at her paws, and Spiderpaw heaved an inward sigh. _It looks I've got more work ahead of me than I realized, _he thought grimly, then let out a quiet growl as he crouched again.

"I'm going to run at you again, alright?" he announced. "And I'm not going to stop or whatever, so don't be stupid. Try dodging to your left, alright? Just two steps should do it. Can you handle that, or should I knock you to the ground again? Maybe I'll actually use my claws this time."

Blackpaw looked alarmed, and he sighed. "That was a joke. Try to keep up, will you?"

He crouched again, and she tensed. He sprang forward, paws outstretched once more;she moved to the left as he had instructed, just in time, but to her surprise he twisted around and pawed her flank as he landed, pushing her to the side. If he had been larger, he could have knocked her over.

She watched him rise again to his paws. "I thought you said all I had to do was dodge," she mewed. "That could have bowled me over."

"If the enemy tells you to dodge – which would be stupid of them, but whatever – you should be prepared that they might do something unexpected," he meowed. "You're a fast cat; you could have easily moved away in time, but instead you just stood there and gawked. That sort of thing is exactly what is going to get you killed."

"So if I dodge or I don't dodge, I'll still get beaten," she mewed with a quiet sigh. "It sounds like I really can't win, Spiderpaw."

"Probably not, at least right now," he agreed. "You're honestly about as threatening as a newborn kit...or maybe a newborn mouse. But I'm sick and tired of your brother, and sick and tired of you trying to flee rather than flight. So we're going to be doing this every night until you're ready to become a warrior. Got it?"

She paled under her fur. "E-every night?"

His eyes narrowed. "Every. Night."

**AN: Poor Redpaw doesn't get any pairings in the poll. I kind of forgot about him, actually, hmm. He's also a little more...thuggish than I'd originally intended. But I should be used to my characters doing their own stuff, I guess. Yes, Chillpaw, I am looking at you! **

**Also, there's a reason why RobinxSpider isn't on the poll; they're cousins! Naturally that sort of thing wouldn't matter too much to normal cats, but since the warriors are somewhat anthropomorphic it wouldn't really be such a good idea. I did consider it for a brief while, though (cripple+barb-tongued cat=amazing fun!) before I remembered that they were related. **


	17. C h a p t e r 16

**C _h a p t e r _16**

She yawned slowly, stretching out her body with a slight shiver. The cool mud had felt good during the day, when she had been tired from walking in the bright sunlight – the reeds offered little protection compared to her forest canopy – but during the night it had felt like she had been freezing her fur off.

_No dreams...at least, not any of importance, _she thought, with another tongue-curling yawn. _I'm kind of glad, though...when I wake up from those dreams, sometimes I feel more tired than when I went to sleep..._

She turned her head, looking at the trail of crushed reeds she had left behind; the journey had left one too, of course, but she had departed away from their path to make her own nest; it had felt safer that way, since she was surrounded by tall, swaying reeds.

She rose to her paws slowly and crept over the soft mud; it was incredibly cool against her paws, and felt unstable, as though it would crumble underneath her paws at any moment. She shivered again, although this time she wasn't sure if it was from the chill of the mud or the thought of falling into the murky water of the marsh.

She reached the journeying cats' trail; it was much wider than the one she had left behind, but that was understandable with so many cats walking together. She also had a sneaking suspicion, based off of the numerous smaller side trails that she had found, that Bluepaw had taken every opportunity to dart away from the group and investigate the strange creatures of the marsh.

Sootpaw didn't blame her; several times she had been distracted by the curious croak of a frog, or the flash of scarlet from the wings of the odd red-winged blackbirds. However, the little apprentice kept her mission in mind; it was the most important thing at the moment.

Out of habit, she opened her mouth, but of course scented very little; the scent of the mud seemed to cover eveything, burying the other scents beneath it, like tasty fish beneath the surface of a river.

At the thought of fish, her stomach gave a gentle rumble, and she winced; she had not been able to catch anything, of course. She hadn't managed to catch anything in her forest home, and she was ill-adapted to the strange muddy marsh, so all prey had eluded her.

_As soon as we get out of the marsh, it won't matter anymore, _she thought firmly. _I can't show my presence yet – I'm sure there are patrols around the Thunderpath, and the whole Clan is probably looking for me, so one of the journeying cats would only have to take me to the Thunderpath and then I would surely be found and taken back home – but once we're out of the marsh we'll be too far away for them to spend the time bringing me back. And hopefully then I can get something to eat...if they aren't too angry with me. _Her ears flattened at the thought of Northstar's rage; it would be a sight to behold, of that much she was certain.

_I should get moving; they've probably been moving since dawn, and I don't want to be left behind, _she thought, with a swift glance at the sky; she hadn't slept too long, but the sun was still higher than she would have liked. She frowned as her stomach gave another gurgle, and began following the smashed-reed trail.

The reeds were almost as much of a hindrance as a help, however, as she had found out the day before when she had nearly stumbled onto the journeying cats when they settled down to share a meal. The reeds seemed to muffle almost every sound; only the croaks of the frogs and toads managed to overpower their stifling abilities. Because of this, she had to be extremely careful not to move too quickly; at the same time, she didn't want to move too slowly in case she was left behind. So long as they were in the marsh, tracking was easy, but she knew it would be much harder once they were out of it.

Still, so long as she was on the easily-tracked reed trail, she could allow her mind to wander a bit as her eyes looked skywards; it was easy to forget that she and Spiderpaw were underneath the same sky, when her view was framed by reeds and his by branches.

_Is he worried? _She wondered, feeling a flutter of uncertainty in her stomach. _Eaglestrike and Ravenwing are probably going crazy right about now...I've never spent a night away from them before..._Her ears flattened. _Do they know I followed these cats? Or do they think something happened to me? I could have fallen in the river, or been carried off by a fox...They must be really worried._

Her ears flattened; she never wanted to hurt her family. _But I have to be here. I have a destiny, whether they like it or not...I'll be careful, I'll be cautious. I'll always have one eye over my shoulder, my nose in the air, and my ears pricked...I promise, Mother, Father, I'll be careful._

She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't hear the flowing of the stream until it was almost too late; she only stopped when the mud crumbled away underneath her paws, plunging them into the chilling water.

She let out a squeak of surprise, staring at the little stream; it was not wide, but seemed to be deep, and it was flowing quickly over the dark earth. She turned her head, trying to see where the stream came from, but the reeds obscured her view; it was the same when she looked to see where the stream went. Frowning to herself, she took a careful step backwards, shaking off her wet paws.

There were pawprints on both sides of the stream, and the reeds were flattened in front of her, so it was obvious that the group had crossed the river. The opposite bank looked oddly disturbed, the mud in almost jagged shapes, but it didn't seem too important to her.

She took another step back, crouching and eying the opposite bank. _I guess I've got to jump over...better make it good, because that water is _cold!

She hesitated for a moment, the tip of her tail twitching, before she took in a deep breath and charged forward, spreading her paws wide as she leaped over the stream. She saw the rushing water pass underneath her stomach, and smiled as all four paws hit the mud of the bank.

Her triumph was short-lived, however; the force of her landing crumpled the already weakened mud, and before she could react her hind paws were sliding down into the stream, taking the rest of her body with them.

She let out a loud yelp as the chilling water soaked into her tail and back legs. She scrambled to pull herself back onto the bank, but the mud continued to crumple underneath her frantic paws.

Finally, one of her claws hooked onto something solid – a rock, buried underneath the mud – and she used it to pull herself out of the stream. Her entire backside was soaking wet, and she was certain that her yelp and hopeless scrabbling hadn't gone unnoticed. For a long moment, everything – the frogs, the birds, even the reeds – were completely silent.

Her ears flattened, and she pressed her belly against the ground anxiously, preparing for Northstar to come charging through the reeds and pin her to the ground; after several minutes, however, the sounds slowly returned to the air, and no cat appeared to drag her away.

She let out a quiet breath of relief. _Thank StarClan._

. . .

The hunger pangs were nearly unbearable by the time the sun began to set in the great blue sky. Sootpaw's paws felt as heavy as stones, and they were caked with mud; she felt as though she was walking on at least a tail-length of mud, rather than her own paws. She yawned sleepily, glancing towards the sky; it would be a little while before the moon rose in the sky, but she knew that the group had probably settled themselves down for the night, taking time to eat before they curled up in their nests.

_I should probably start making one too, _she thought groggily. _Although, I'm tired enough that I might just collapse right here..._

The thought was amazingly inviting, and before she quite knew what she was doing, she found her head resting on the reed-covered ground and her muddy paws tucked against her chest. She let out a drowsy sigh, her eyes drooping closed.

_Tomorrow, _she promised herself, as her stomach gave a loud gurgle. _Tomorrow, I'll show myself...and then maybe I'll get something to eat...tender mouse or musky vole or...mmm. _Her mouth filled with water at the very thought of prey, and she gave herself a little smile, feeling the weariness begin to take hold of her mind, sending her thoughts spinning.

_Will I see Chillpaw again tonight? I'm not really sure if I want to or not...I used to be scared of those dreams, but he promised that he wouldn't hurt me, and they need me to come back to life...it's not so bad going there, I guess, when I don't have to be scared. Chillpaw isn't nice, exactly, but he doesn't really seem all that bad either...none of them seem really _bad, _even though I know all the terrible things that Blight and Dapplefern did...I wonder what some of the others did, though? Some of them seem scary, like Brightstar, but little Shrew doesn't seem like he could do very much at all..._

She shifted slightly, curling into more of a ball to conserve heat; already the air was beginning to cool, and the mud coating her fur didn't help. Her thoughts continued to shift and change, taking different shapes, flashing odd colors, until she wasn't really thinking anymore at all, just hovering on the line between awake and asleep...

There was a sudden loud sound in front of her, and her eyes snapped open at the sound of reeds being crushed, stalks breaking. She moved to look, only to find powerful jaws grabbing her scruff, pulling her up roughly. She let out a yelp of pain and fear.

"Shut up," a low voice growled in her ear; she went rigid as she recognized it as the voice of PeakClan's deputy.

He was carrying her down the reed path, holding her so that her back paws dragged the ground; she let out another whimper as one of them struck something sharp, but she couldn't twist around and see what it was. Northstar let out another warning growl, and she fell silent, trembling.

_This wasn't how I wanted to make myself known! _She thought, panic rising in her chest. _What did I do wrong? How did he find me? He didn't walk down that path by chance..._

She blinked with surprise as she saw a slope rising above them; there were no reeds dotting it, no mud splashed over it; it was covered in thick, waving grass. She could make out the shapes of cats; most of them were standing, waiting for Northstar's return.

Northstar entered the grass, pushing through it roughly and powerfully; twisting her head a little, not enough to pull her scruff, she saw his muscles rippling under his white pelt, and felt another tremor of fear run through her.

Northstar entered the small space of flattened grass that the warriors had created; he dropped Sootpaw unceremoniously, and she tumbled to the ground, crouching there like a piece of forgotten prey.

"Sootpaw?" she heard Bluepaw gasp.

"Sootpaw? What is she doing here?" Thistlethorn demanded.

"Another AshClan apprentice? Two is bad enough!" she heard someone spit; it was almost certainly Swanpaw.

Sootpaw sat up slowly, her face burning in shame, unable to meet any of their eyes.

"I knew someone was following us when we met at the river," Northstar growled. "I had my suspicions as to who it was, but I'd hoped that the marsh would have scared them off. I heard her make quite a ruckus earlier today, which is when I knew she was still following us."

_He knew it was either me or Spiderpaw, since he saw us at the Gathering, _she realized, her face flushing even more.

"Sootpaw, what are you doing here?" Reedrush asked. "Why did you run away from home?"

She swallowed nervously. "I-I had to," she stammered. "I had to come and help."

"Right," Swanpaw leered, a sneer twisting her pretty face. "We definitely need a dumb AshClan apprentice tagging along. I thought the prophecy said only two were supposed to come, right?" She turned towards Bluepaw. "What do you make of that, Idiotpaw? Maybe StarClan just wasn't clear enough?"

"Swanpaw, be quiet," Rainwind said sternly. "Bluepaw has done nothing wrong. Any blame lies with Sootpaw for following us...and us for not noticing her."

Swanpaw's ears flattened, and she shot Sootpaw a glare. As if to make things worth, Sootpaw's stomach suddenly gave a loud,wet gurgle.

"I bet she hasn't eaten anything since she left! Can you even hunt?" Brackenpaw demanded.

Sootpaw flinched at his accusation, but did not reply, simply staring down at her paws in silence. Swanpaw snorted, and Brackenpaw let out a quiet sigh.

_This isn't how it was supposed to happen! _She thought miserably. _I was supposed to come in myself, surprise everyone...or step in and rescue someone, something like that...not be dragged here like a dead fox!_

"What are we going to do with her?" Reedrush asked. "She can't come with us. She hasn't been mentored."

_Yeah, because your apprentice isn't ready to become a warrior! _Sootpaw thought bitterly, then winced; she was starting to sound a bit like Spiderpaw, frustrated and sour.

"We can't waste time dragging her all the way back," Rabbitleap mewed. "It would take too long. At least a day, and that would only be if they were both going very quickly."

"I say she takes herself back home," Thistlethorn growls, "and if she tries to follow us again, we'll take care of it. She was ordered to stay home. She shouldn't be here." Sootpaw looked up in time to see the blue-gray tom give her a glare, before he turned his furious gaze onto Northstar. "And what about you, huh? You said you heard her making noise earlier. Why didn't you get her then?"

"Because I knew we would have this same discussion, only then we would be wasting daylight and precious traveling time," Northstar said calmly.

"At this point, anything we do with her is a waste of time!" Thistlethorn snapped. Northstar's golden eyes narrowed, but the AshClan warrior did not back down.

"I really have to come," Sootpaw said quietly. "I know I can't explain it to you all...but I just _know _I have to be here, on this journey. I...I _feel _it. I would have volunteered if Jaypaw hadn't beat me to it." For the first time, she looked to her cousin, and was relieved to see that his amber eyes didn't carry any anger; they were calm and thoughtful as he looked back at her.

"I think if Sootpaw followed us this far, she should be able to come," Bluepaw mewed. "She could be helpful, don't you think?"

"I thought StarClan told you we had to have two apprentices from every Clan?" Reedrush asked. "Are you saying that StarClan was wrong?"

"N-no," Bluepaw stammered, looking nervous. "I just mean...what if StarClan knows something that we don't? Something could happen on our way to the mountains...the mountains are really dangerous, right? Maybe Sootpaw will be one of the two apprentices from AshClan that we'll need."

Jaypaw looked towards the blue-gray apprentice sharply. "Are you saying that I'm not up to the task?"

She paled. "N-no, of course not..."

Northstar flicked his tail, and with that simple motion the attention of all the gathered cats returned to him. "Bickering won't change the fact that she is here. And her decision to follow us will not impact our journey at all. It's too late for her to return home now; she won't go on her own, and we don't have time to hold her paw and escort her back. She's coming with us."

Sootpaw was astonished, and she clearly wasn't the only one; most of the others were staring at Northstar in shock – Swanpaw's jaw had actually dropped – and it was clear that they were all wondering if the older tom had gone insane, deciding to bring an untrained apprentice into the mountains.

"I am departing from the rest of you once I attain the forest-sickness cure," he meowed. "Sootpaw will be coming back with me then. Perhaps she could be helpful in carrying some of it, even. I'm sure her parents will punish her when she returns home. There's no need for us to do that...aside from the fact that if she wants to eat, she hunts." Sootpaw quailed under his stern golden gaze. "We cannot tolerate weakness. If you cannot hunt for yourself, you would never be strong enough to make it over the mountains anyway." He looked to Reedrush and Thistlethorn. "As AshClan warriors, she is your problem, until our ways part."

Thistlethorn's fur bristled, and he quickly shot Reedrush a look. "She was supposed to be your apprentice. You teach her to hunt."

Reedrush's ears flattened, and for a moment she looked mutinous, but she finally gave Northstar a small nod.

Sootpaw's stomach gave another pained gurgle; Swanpaw's whiskers twitched, but no one else said anything. Finally, Northstar rose to his paws.

"We have another long day in front of us tomorrow; we'll be heading into the pine forest, hopefully. Everyone should get some rest." With that, he padded a short distance away from the rest of the group and lied down, settling himself on the flattened grass. His eyes closed, and he spoke not another word.

For a moment, the other cats were frozen; then, Brackenpaw moved to curl up beside his father. Rainwind and Swanpaw followed suit, although Sootpaw noticed that Swanpaw curled up a small distance away from the others.

To Sootpaw's surprise, Rabbitleap was the first to approach her.

"Hey, small stuff!" she purred. "Seems like Northstar dislikes you already. Good job with that." She grinned down at the gray apprentice, giving her a playful tap on the shoulder with one paw. "He hated me too when we first met. I bet you guys will bond adorably on the way back, when it's just the two of you."

Sootpaw couldn't help but smile. "Somehow, I doubt that. He's scary."

Rabbitleap's grin grew wider. "Yeah, he is. Underneath the scariness, he's just a cuddly furball, though."

"And underneath the cuddly furballness?"

"He's a stone-cold killer, of course!" the she-cat purred. "And trust me, you don't want to go deeper than that." She nosed Sootpaw's shoulder. "Good luck on keeping up tomorrow. I hope you get something to eat."

Sootpaw nodded, and Rabbitleap turned away, trotting towards her Clanmates; Sootpaw watched her, almost mystified by the PeakClan she-cat's kindness.

"She and Bramblethorn were friends," said a soft voice, and Sootpaw turned to find Bluepaw standing beside her. The gray-blue apprentice's eyes were uncharacteristically dark as she remembered her foster-father. "It was a weird friendship...they met when she was stealing prey from him, but during the next Gathering they talked a little and became friends. He respected her...I think it's because she's nice to everyone...so I decided that I wanted to be nice to everyone too." Bluepaw gave Sootpaw a small smile, but it didn't quite reach her sorrowful eyes. "I'm glad you're here, Sootpaw. Jaypaw's nice, but...he's not you."

"Or Spiderpaw," Sootpaw teased, and was surprised to see her friend flush slightly.

She looked away from Bluepaw, searching for the gray apprentice, but he and Thistlethorn had already retired for the night as well. She frowned, then looked to Reedrush; touching Bluepaw's flank with her tail, she trotted towards the silver tabby.

"Can we, um, go out?" she asked timidly; Reedrush looked over her shoulder at her.

"To get you something to eat, you mean?" she asked, and Sootpaw nodded quickly. Reedrush's green eyes hardened. "No. You shouldn't have come along on this journey. You're not prepared for it. I'm tired, I've been walking all day, and the last thing I want to do is go and help you hunt."

Sootpaw's ears flattened as the silver tabby padded a short distance away and curled up. She looked over her shoulder, but Bluepaw had already done the same. Feeling defeated, she slunk towards the blue-gray apprentice and hesitantly sat down beside her. Bluepaw's eyes opened, and for a moment Sootpaw was afraid that she was going to pull away; the gray apprentice did not relish the idea of another cold night sleeping alone. To her surprise, Bluepaw smiled, and moved closer, until the two apprentices were snuggled together.

"Thanks, Bluepaw," she whispered in the dying light.

"Night, Sootpaw," was her only reply.

. . .

_The grass flowed around her, bright, green, inviting. She smiled, watching it move from side to side, like some vast stream; she rolled onto her back, and was surprised to find Moonpaw lying beside her, her blue eyes giving off a pretty glow, her crescent marking gleaming in her white fur._

"_I'm almost insulted that you consulted Chillpaw instead of me," she mewed with a smile. "I mean, I probably would have told you the same thing, but still!" She flashed Sootpaw a grin, her white fangs gleaming, looking even brighter in her black muzzle._

"_Sorry," Sootpaw laughed. "He was just...the first cat I thought of." She almost frowned; it was troubling, somehow, that she had first turned to a Dark Forest cat, rather than her faithful friend. "I guess because you're in my imagination, I knew you couldn't really have answers...and those are what I needed."_

_Moonpaw shrugged. "As good an answer as any, I guess." She rolled over onto her side and then rose to her paws; as always, her black coat was gleaming and spotless. "What do you want to play, huh? We've got all night."_

_The mention of the night made Sootpaw blink, and the dream seemed to shift; the glowing sun disappeared, replaced instead by a huge, luminous moon, surrounded by glittering stars. She smiled up at it, liking the way the moonlight turned her fur silver instead of blotchy gray. Then, she blinked again._

"_Shouldn't I be talking to Chillpaw? Or dreaming about the traveling cats?" she asked anxiously. Moonpaw blinked back at her with eyes of blue innocence._

"_I don't know. Should you be?" she asked. Sootpaw frowned at her, and she chuckled. "Do you want to be?" She flicked her tail, and one side of the grass that encircled them melted away into mist. Sootpaw stared into the mist for a long moment, then sighed._

"_I don't really _want _to, no," she said, "but I guess I should...will you stay with me this time?"_

_Moonpaw giggled. "No way. It's a creepy place!" Her eyes twinkled merrily. "Besides, I'll be there when you need me."_

"_How do you know when that is?"_

"_Because you'll be needing me!" Moonpaw meowed, as if it was obvious. "Like you said, I'm in your imagination. I'm a part of you. I'll always be around when you need me." She gave Sootpaw a nudge. "Go on then, furball. Don't be wasting time, if you're really going."_

_Sootpaw sighed softly, and stepped into the mist, feeling it close around her, sealing the grassy dream away. She gave almost a forlorn glance over her shoulder, before she began padding forwards._

_This time, the mist did not clear, even when she walked. She felt a prickle of uncertainty, but kept going. After many moments, the mist seemed to actually grow thicker, rather than fade; she could almost feel it brushing over her fur. She shivered, but still kept going; surely in a few moments she would see the glow of Chillpaw's eyes, hear his soft voice, feel the darkness of the starless sky above her head._

"_Sootpaw! Stop!"_

_She froze, trembling, and quickly looked over her shoulder; her eyes widened as she saw Chillpaw padding through the mist quickly._

"_Don't go any further," he growled, twitching his tail. "Come with me."_

_Her ears flattened, but she walked towards him; he waited until she reached him before flicking his tail again and striding into the mist. Timidly, she followed, relaxing slightly as the mist began to part in front of her and the shapes of the other cats began to appear._

"_I don't understand, how did I miss you?" she mewed. Chillpaw glanced at her, his fur slightly ruffled._

"_Blight and I were not waiting to receive you," he answered. "Without us waiting here, trying to contact you, you cannot reach us." His cold eyes bored into her. "You must never come without alerting your friend first, understand? The mist doesn't look dangerous, but if you wander too far, you'll be trapped. Forever."_

_She stared at him with disbelief. "I would have never found my way out?"_

_He shook his head, then reached forward, quickly touching noses with her and banishing the remaining mist._

"_Are you alright, little pet?" Blight asked, moving forward to look her over. She nodded quickly, and Chillpaw gave the gray tom a warning look. Blight backed off, but remained nearby, his tail flicking from side to side._

_Chillpaw returned his gaze to Sootpaw. "Why are you here?"_

_She swallowed nervously. "I thought I was supposed to come here. You said I had to do certain things for the ceremony, right?"_

"_We didn't expect you to return again so soon; we thought you would be tired from your travels," he meowed. "It's true that you have plenty to do before we reach the Pool of Eternal Night, but it is also true that we have plenty of time before then. If your body is tired, then your mind will be too, and we don't want any other mistakes taking place."_

"_I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I didn't know the mist was dangerous."_

_He flicked his ear at her, dismissing her apology. "Now you do."_

"_I'll leave then, I guess, if that's what you want," she said hesitantly. Chillpaw glanced towards the other cats, then shook his head._

"_Walk with me," he said softly; she blinked with surprise, but followed him as he headed deeper into the shadowed forest._

"_I'm sure you have questions, don't you?" he asked, flicking his cold gaze towards her. "You've had plenty of time to think of them while you walked."_

"_Yes...I did," she said slowly, trying to organize her thoughts; she had all sorts of questions, but she knew there were some of them he wouldn't answer. "Here's something I don't understand. You said that a living cat could open up the Pool, right? Why do you need so many cats to do that? Why couldn't I just...take you both with me?"_

"_The problem is that I alone cannot contact you," he replied. "I need Blight for that as well. It is possible for a living cat to enter the Pool of Eternal Night and bring a Dark Forest cat with them, to life. However, if you did that with me, Blight would remain here and you would be unable to help him as well because you could not get back here. The same would be true if you took Blight and left me behind. As much as I dislike the arrangement, we depend on each other._

"_The only way to send multiple cats from the Dark Forest through the Pool is with the ceremony. Unfortunately, the ceremony needs many cats to make it work; the more the better, preferably nine. Which means that we have to put up with these less than savory characters, for the moment."_

"_So, you don't like them?" she asked curiously. "Why not?"_

"_There are some crimes that can never be forgiven," he said simply. "I do not feel emotionally about such taboos, but I understand them. My philosophy revolves around balance...and many of these cats have upset their balances in tremendous ways. I cannot stand for such a thing, especially when their motivations were so...impure."_

_She frowned at him. "You murdered your own leader. Don't you think that was a taboo?"_

_To her surprise, Chillpaw smiled, looking almost amused. "Patience, Sootpaw. You're trying to wheedle my story out of me before it is time. Mine will be the last that you hear."_

"_So, is that what I have to do? Hear everyone's story?"_

"_And make your own judgments from them."_

"_What kind of judgments?"_

_He only smiled again, and she frowned at him. "This secrecy thing isn't very much fun, you know. I feel like I'm being left in the dark here."_

_At that, Chillpaw actually grinned, his white fangs flashing in the darkness. "Leave the darkness to us."_

_She couldn't help but smile, and she felt a prickle of pity for the white tom. _What must it be like, to be trapped here forever? Or...not forever, I guess, but until you fade? And it's not even a quick death...it takes a long time, and near the end you don't know how many more minutes you have left, every second could be your last...it would be horrible. I don't know if it's worse than what some of these cats deserve, but...I guess it's my job to end that. I'm here to help them.

"_When do you want me to come back again?"_

_He shrugged. "Whenever you're feeling more rested. We don't want to tire you out. Tired cats make mistakes, whether awake or asleep...and a mistake either way could end up killing you. Where would we be then?"_

Where would we be then? They'd be stuck here until they fade, and I...where would I go? It's it a terrible thing, to be helping them? Would StarClan be angry with me, for taking the choice out of their paws and into my own? _The thought was oddly troubling, but she pushed it away. _If StarClan doesn't want me doing this, let them tell me that, _she decided._

"_Your friend is coming. She'll take you to another dream, so you can get some rest."_

"_What if I want to stay?"_

_She heard a giggle behind her. "It's not your choice, sillypaws," Moonpaw chirped. "I mean, it is, but choosing to stay here is the wrong one."_

_She blinked at her friend, then glanced towards Chillpaw. "So, just a few days?"_

"_If you're feeling up to it. Make sure to send Moonpaw here first, so you don't end up getting lost."_

"_Sorry about that, last time," Moonpaw mewed. "I was distracted by this really pretty butterfly."_

_Sootpaw's ears pricked. "Can I see it too?" she asked, and the black apprentice grinned._

"_Right away!" she exclaimed, reaching forward and touching Sootpaw's nose. Instantly, the mist melted over her vision, concealing Chillpaw and the others from view._

"_I'm really sorry, Sootpaw," Moonpaw said quietly. "I should have been paying more attention."_

_Sootpaw let out a quiet purr, nudging her side. "If you weren't paying attention, it means that I wasn't either. So it's fine. Come on, I want to see this butterfly!"_

_Moonpaw grinned, and charged into the mist, leaving Sootpaw hurrying to catch up._

**AN: You know what's weird? All of the love interests in my stories have green eyes. Foxfire, Frostflight, Forest. They also all have names that start with 'F' (both the ladies even have alliterative names). Which is weird, because I'm not fond of 'F' names, or green eyes...well, I do like green eyes in animation (so yummy, they are my weakness, especially when they have little designs under the eyes...like Axel from KH, or that guy from Bleach with the pretty green eyes and the green tear thingies and the skull hat thingamajig...I don't like Bleach and I don't even know that guys name, but his design is love) but not in real life (probably because I have them?). I'm more partial to blue eyes myself...anyway, just thought that was weird. I guess green eyes and an F name is sort of a red flag when looking for potential mates. The more you know, and all that.**

**The exception is, of course, Gingerstep, who had amber eyes, but she wasn't really successful...it was complicated in JtR. XD**

**I like that feeling that you get right before you go to sleep...how your thoughts are sort of spinning all around, and sometimes you can even see your dreams beginning to take shape...it's nice.**

**Also (why is this AN so long D:) I'm going to be gone from Saturday until Tuesday...and then I start school (!) on Thursday. This year is going to be tough (senior year, four AP classes) so I might be fairly inactive. If that happens, I apologize in advance. I love you guys. D:**


	18. C h a p t e r 17

**C _h a p t e r _16**

Blackpaw let out a grunt as she hit the ground for the seventh time that night. She blinked up at him, her golden eyes wide as always; every time he hit her, she seemed to expect him to bite her or slash her throat, as if he was some mindless killer.

He let out a low hiss. "Why don't you ever _do _anything?" he snarled down at her as he moved back, allowing her to rise to her paws again.

She winced at his sharp tone, as she always did. "I just can't help it," she mewed meekly, staring down at her paws. "I try to brace myself and think brave thoughts, but as soon as I see you running at me, I just...freeze up." She gave a feeble shrug. "Sometimes I can move out of the way, but that doesn't do me any good...I'm not fast enough to dodge your next move, and you always get me in the end."

"You're always waiting for someone else to step in and protect you," he snapped. "But there's no one here but me and you, and that's the same way it'll be on the battlefield, just you and your opponent. If you can't focus, you'll be eaten alive."

"But a real warrior is never alone," Blackpaw insisted. "We fight as a group, so there is always someone there to have our backs in a real fight."

"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "And because you suck so much at fighting, someone is going to be watching your back all the time, but you won't be protecting anyone but yourself. You're a liability, and that's exactly why you haven't been made a warrior before."

She sighed softly. "Can I try it again?"

Moments later, she hit the dirt for the eighth time that night.

"Forget it," Spiderpaw seethed as he moved back. "This is completely hopeless. I finally get why Reedrush ran off rather than try to continue mentoring you."

Hurt flashed in Blackpaw's golden orbs, and Spiderpaw knew he had gone too far. He let out another hiss, turning away from her, staring into the twisted shadows given off by the branches and remaining leaves above them. A cool wind rustled above them, and a few more leaves drifted slowly to the ground; one brushed his shoulder on the way down, and he watched its fluttering descent towards the ground.

_Leaf-bare is practically here, and we've got a sick leader and doubtlessly more on the way, _he thought grimly. _Two very strong warriors and three apprentices are wandering around StarClan-knows-where...PeakClan has already suffered one loss themselves, and there will doubtlessly be more...not to mention the threat of the Twolegplace cats. They've been quiet for a long time, but I am sure they'll be showing their ugly mugs around here when food starts getting scarce in their own territory._

_Not to mention that Jaggedclaw has basically completely given up on everything..._

"Are you okay?" Blackpaw asked, her voice as soft as a feather's fall. He glanced over his shoulder at her, giving her a hard stare.

"If you ask your opponent that, they'll just kill you," he growled. She cocked her head to one side, watching him.

"Forget the lesson, just for a moment," the ebony-furred apprentice said. "Pretend that we aren't opponents on a battlefield, that we're just two apprentices sparring in the Moss Clearing. Pretend that you totally don't hate my guts because I'm so pathetic. Pretend that I'm your Clanmate who actually cares about your well-being."

He eyed her with suspicion. "There's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine."

She smiled. "I know I'm a crummy fighter, but I'm not stupid. You're angrier than usual, and for you that's saying quite a bit. You can tell me what's wrong. I won't tell anyone."

His lip curled. "Sure. Let's pretend that you won't go running off to tell your big powerful brother about...whatever is bothering me."

Blackpaw actually looked injured. "Of course I won't tell him. I promised I wouldn't. I know Fireblaze doesn't like you, but I don't have any grudge against you. You were only trying to make your Clan stronger. I can't blame you for that. I wasn't ready to become a warrior; you were right not to let me become one the easy way."

Spiderpaw watched her for a moment, grinding his teeth together as he thought; finally, he let out a quiet growl. "Okay. Fine. But if I hear any bit of this circulating around camp, I will personally shred your pelt...and it won't be hard, either."

Blackpaw shrugged. "I'm okay with that. I won't tell."

"I'm worried about Jaggedclaw," he blurted. "He refuses to eat, and there's nothing I can do about it. He won't talk to me anymore, he just ignores me, and there's nothing I can do to convince him that he can't just let himself starve to death...he thinks he's hurting Reedrush or something, I don't know...he thinks things will be easier for her when she's gone. But they won't be easier for her or for anyone else, they just won't be, because at heart Jaggedclaw is a good warrior and it's not fair for him to have to die just because of some stupid accident with a monster, or something he did in his past..." Spiderpaw clenched his jaw as he realized that he was babbling, and he looked away from the black-furred apprentice once more, staring into the darkness of the night.

He nearly leaped as he felt Blackpaw's tail touch his flank.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said quietly. "I know that Jaggedclaw is a good cat, even if he is pretty scary. Fireblaze and I had to take care of him when we were apprentices too, you know. Fireblaze envied his strength just like you do, but he didn't have the patience for Jaggedclaw's temper and growling."

Spiderpaw snorted. "Of course Fireblaze couldn't handle him. He can't see past his own stupid nose...and I don't envy Jaggedclaw. I'm going to be strong too. I don't need him."

"I think you do," she replied. "I think you know that you probably will never be as big as Jaggedclaw, or as strong...I think you know that almost no cat ever could be. And I think you also know that it's more than his strength that you envy; Jaggedclaw _knows _things about the world, and he knows things like loyalty and respect...the things that really make up a warrior, beyond combat or hunting prowess. I think part of you is hoping that he could be a mentor like Petalcloud could never be; she's a wonderful cat, but she doesn't understand you in the same way that he does."

Spiderpaw stared at her for a long moment. "How do you know all that?"

She laughed quietly. "I'm just observant, I guess...although not all of that is from me. Some of it is from Bluepaw. She really cares about you, you know." Her golden eyes glinted in the moonlight. "She understands you better than you know."

He ruffled the fur around his shoulders. "So, what should I do?" he demanded. "What can I do to help Jaggedclaw? I don't want him to die. Not like that."

A thoughtful look entered Blackpaw's gaze. "Actually, I might have an idea," she said slowly. "I used to sort of shadow Shimmerfrost, when I was younger. She was a medicine apprentice at the time, of course, so I was really sort of following Rumble...he was an amazing cat, and a very good healer. I learned some things from him. Shimmerfrost doesn't seem to care for anyone's well-being anymore, not like she used to. She might not want to help you...but I think she can."

His ears pricked. "Help how? Does she have some magical anti-suicide herbs, or what?"

She giggled. "No, nothing like that. But there is something that could help with his pain. That's what keeps him from walking and stuff, right? The pain and the stiffness?"

"Why wouldn't Rumble have given him something, if it could have helped?"

"Rumble was busy with something else when Jaggedclaw was recovering...he was really worried about something, and he was always mixing herbs and stuff, but he would never tell Shimmerfrost or me what it was." She frowned. "And then he got sick, you know, and died..." Her ears flattened at the memory. "And then there was that whole Chillpaw thing, and Silverstar was depressed, and I guess Shimmerfrost never got around to helping Jaggedclaw since she had more important things to do. Not that I think she should have just ignored him," she added hastily, seeing that Spiderpaw was rankled.

"So, you think she'll give me something I can use to help him?" he demanded. Blackpaw gave him a small shrug.

"Maybe. I'm not sure if she'll have any, but it's worth a try, right? If he's not in so much pain, things might be better for him."

Spiderpaw nodded slowly. "You're right." He hesitated, then sighed. "Thanks."

Blackpaw let out a quiet purr. "You're welcome, Spiderpaw."

He quickly glanced towards the sky; the moon was nowhere to be seen, and it was starting to get brighter.

"We should head back to camp now, before anyone becomes suspicious," he said. Blackpaw stared down at her paws.

"Do you think we could, um, try it again? Just one more time?"

Spiderpaw rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Like it'll make a difference." He crouched, and she faced him, tensing; staring at her, he realized that her mouth was moving, that she was whispering something to herself.

_Speaking brave things instead of thinking them? _He wondered, before charging forward and springing into the air, paws outstretched.

To his surprise, she wasn't there when he landed; he turned around to strike her before she could move farther away, but she dodged that blow as well, grinning brightly.

"I did it!" she meowed, standing still just long enough for Spiderpaw to tackle her to the ground.

"You'd still be dead on the third strike, if this was a real battle," he pointed out, but she only grinned up at him.

"I dodged two," she purred, "and that's good enough for me."

He got off of her, shaking his coat free of dust. "You're still too afraid to strike your opponent, though."

She shrugged. "We've got plenty of time, right? Come on, we should be heading back now. You've got to be bright and cheerful when you're talking to Shimmerfrost, asking her for those herbs!"

She trotted into the forest, leaving Spiderpaw rolling his eyes as he padded after her.

Their short journey back home was uneventful; they reached camp just as the sun was starting to peek over the horizon, casting rosy fingers over the sky. Spiderpaw didn't spare the pretty sight a glance as he slipped into his nest.

Blackpaw settled nearby, and Spiderpaw closed his eyes slowly, listening to the breathing of his Clanmates; the breaths that were missing were obvious, and he opened his eyes again to stare at his sister's empty nest.

_What are you doing right now, Sootpaw? _He wondered. _Are you safe? Are you happy? Are your paws tired? Is your belly empty? Are you thinking about me too?_

He twitched his nose with irritation; he usually wasn't so sentimental. He gave himself an irritated little growl, glancing away from her nest.

His eyes found Blackpaw's ebony fur instead. He watched her breathe for a long moment, her black flanks rising up and down with each steady breath; then, slowly, he reached out with one paw and tapped her.

"I don't think you're pathetic," he said softly.

Blackpaw didn't move, but he thought he heard the quietest purr.

. . .

"Come on, lazypaws," Petalcloud teased as he padded out of the apprentice den, eyes fuzzy with sleep. "There's plenty we need to do today."

"Actually...would you mind if I took the day off?" Spiderpaw asked. "I've got some stuff of my own to do."

Petalcloud frowned at him. "Like what?"

She followed his gaze towards Jaggedclaw's den, and her own eyes softened. "Oh, I see. You're not having any luck with him right now, huh? It's fine, Spiderpaw. Take the day off. I'll find Fireblaze and Blackpaw, maybe go hunting with them." She smiled at him and flicked her tail, and without another word, Spiderpaw quickly trotted into the medicine den.

"Hello, Spiderpaw," he heard a weak voice mew; it took him a moment to realize that it had come from Silverstar, who was lying off to the side in a small test. She was sitting up and smiling slightly at him, but as he stared at her she coughed quietly.

"Uh, hey," he said, lacking a better response because of his shock of being addressed by his leader. For almost all of his life – or at least all he could remember – she had been hiding in her den or the medicine den, depressed or sick.

Shimmerfrost turned from sorting her herbs, fixing her icy eyes on him. "What did stupid apprentice thing did you do?" she snapped. "Step on a thorn? Get scratched by a mouse? Sneeze so hard you thought your nose would fall off?"

Irritation prickled over his pelt, but he didn't want to mouth off in front of Silverstar.

"There's nothing wrong with me," he meowed, but before he could say anything further, Shimmerfrost let out a hiss.

"Then stop wasting my time!" she spat, moving forward as if to push him out of the den.

"Oh, Shimmerfrost, relax," Silverstar said mildly. "He obviously came here for _something._ What do you need, Spiderpaw?"

Spiderpaw glanced towards her again, still unnerved by her, before firmly fixing his gaze on the medicine cat. "Blackpaw told me that you can give stuff to fix joints."

Shimmerfrost's tail flicked with irritation. "Yes, that's true, but I don't currently have any. There aren't any old cats hobbling around, in case you haven't noticed."

"There's Jaggedclaw," Spiderpaw said, a growl creeping into his voice.

Shimmerfrost snorted. "I don't have time to go foraging for herbs for just one cat. We've practically got a plague running amok in camp, if you haven't noticed."

"Silverstar's the only one sick," Spiderpaw pointed out. Shimmerfrost's eyes narrowed.

"Right _now _she's the only one sick. Wait a moon, see how many are sick then," she retorted. "Now, go away. I don't have time to go looking for herbs for Jaggedclaw's joints."

"I thought you already had some that could help?" Silverstar asked. "There are some herbs that can help with joint pain that have other uses, correct?"

Spiderpaw was surprised that Shimmerfrost glared at Silverstar with as much intensity as she did to him.

"Yes, that's true, but I wouldn't want to use too many of those. We might actually need them," she answered. "I don't have an apprentice to send scurrying around anymore, remember?"

"Tell me what you need, then, and I'll go get it," Spiderpaw declared. "You could just use a little of each kind of joint-herb so you don't have to waste too much."

She glanced at him again, and he resisted the urge to shiver under her icy stare. Then, she flicked her tail with irritation.

"Fine, whatever. I'll see what I can do to make a little mixture...but daisy leaves are the very best for joint pain, and I don't have any of those. There probably aren't many daisies around still this time of year, but you can try to find them anyway. Now, go on. I'm a busy cat."

Spiderpaw nodded quickly. "Thanks, Shimmerfrost. And thank you too, Silverstar." He shot the leader another look, before quickly ducking out of the den.

He trotted out of camp with only a quick look towards Jaggedclaw's den.

_Daisies, _he thought to himself with a frown. _Daisies, daisies...where am I going to find daisies?_

He paused for a moment to think. _Well...there's always plenty of stuff near water...the river is pretty barren, but there might be some near the Black Stream? I guess it's worth a shot._

He broke into a run, loping through the undergrowth, feeling the rich earth crumble beneath his paws as brambles reached out with thorny fingers to stroke his pelt.

He found himself smiling as he sprang over a fallen log without slowing down; there was a certain sort of happiness in this fluid motion, this flowing of well-trained muscles, the forest blurring around him. The wind brushed his face, running over his fur, and he opened his mouth for a moment to enjoy it.

Then, he skidded to a stop rather ungracefully, nearly falling over as he scented a familiar cat. His eyes narrowed.

_Lurking in the forest again, huh? _He thought suspiciously. _Shimmerfrost won't be expecting me back right away..._

He crept forward silently, making less sound than a falling feather, peering through the fronds of a fern where the scent was strongest. His eyes narrowed again as he saw a golden pelt, dappled by the shadows above as Leopardpaws's slim figure crept forward.

"Slinking around as always, huh?" he said loudly, feeling a prickle of vindictive pleasure as he heard the squeak of whatever Leopardpaw had been hunting. The dappled apprentice pounced, but her prey had already fled; she turned quickly to Spiderpaw, her leaf-green eyes glittering with anger. Her anger cooled more quickly than Spiderpaw would have liked, however, and her familiar patronizing smile curled her muzzle.

"Wandering around like a lost kit, huh?" she retorted.

"What are you doing out here?" he growled. "You're always skulking in the shadows on your own. What are you really planning?"

She shot him a grin. "Wouldn't you like to know?" she teased, rising to her paws. "For your information, I'm not on my own today. Fireblaze invited me to come hunting with his mother; his sister said she was tired. Petalcloud was worried about her getting sick, but Fireblaze managed to talk her out of sending Blackpaw to the medicine den." She cocked her head to one side. "What are _you _doing out here?"

"Looking for daisies," Spiderpaw meowed, then flushed hot underneath his fur as he realized how ridiculous that sounded. "Shimmerfrost needs them, I mean."

Leopardpaw only laughed. "It's okay for toms to like pretty flowers, you know," she purred lightly, then flicked her tail. "I think I saw a few daisy plants the other day, actually. I can take you to them."

_No thanks _was Spiderpaw's knee-jerk reaction, but he forced himself to consider her offer; she was being nice, after all, even though he didn't particularly trust her.

"Just point me in the right direction," he said finally.

She shrugged. "Have it your way, then," she meowed, and flicked her tail again, pointing towards a large ash tree. "I saw some in that direction, not too far from here."

"Thanks," he meowed grudgingly.

"No problem," Leopardpaw replied, "but you owe me a vole."

. . .

Spiderpaw was padding towards Shimmerfrost's den, his mouth full of daisy leaves, when he noticed that she had already left a packet of herbs in the mouth of Jaggedclaw's den.

He set down some of the leaves in the entrance of the medicine den, before quickly trotting towards the elders den; studying the packet of herbs, he quickly chewed up the remaining daisy leaves and smeared the wad on top.

_Disgusting, _he thought, wrinkling his nose, _but hopefully he'll eat this, even if he won't actually eat food..._

"Jaggedclaw," he called. "I brought you something." The tom didn't move, and his tail twitched with annoyance. "Come on, turn around." He poked Jaggedclaw with one paw. "It's not food. I got it from Shimmerfrost."

Slowly, Jaggedclaw turned, interest gleaming in his eyes.

"It's not those poppy seeds you were asking for, either," Spiderpaw said sharply.

"What is it?" Jaggedclaw asked, looking at the herbs; his voice was quieter than Spiderpaw had ever heard him speak before.

"Just eat it," Spiderpaw meowed, pushing it towards him with one paw. "It won't hurt you, but it won't really keep you alive either. It's not food, or anything." Jaggedclaw said nothing, and Spiderpaw's ears flattened. "Please, Jaggedclaw. Just eat it."

Jaggedclaw didn't move again for a long moment; then, slowly he pulled the packet of herbs towards him. He chewed them slowly with a grimace; Spiderpaw held his breath until the scarred tom swallowed.

"Thanks," Spiderpaw said quietly, but Jaggedclaw was silent, motionless, his eye closed once more.

Spiderpaw waited for a long moment, before rising to his paws, leaving the scarred tom in his silence.

He padded to the fresh-kill pile, grabbing a squirrel and nibbling on it absentmindedly.

_I wonder what Bluepaw's up to right now...or Sootpaw, _he thought. _I bet they're having a lot more fun than I am._

His ear flicked as he saw a dark shape emerge from the apprentice den; it was Blackpaw, yawning tiredly.

"Hey," she said sleepily, padding towards him.

"Go away," he meowed sharply, and Blackpaw looked hurt for a moment.

"Fireblaze would freak out if he saw you talking to me. He'd probably say I was harassing you," he said. "Do both of us a favor and keep your distance."

Blackpaw's ears flattened. "He's off hunting, he's not here now. Besides, I just wanted to share prey with you."

He watched her mistrustfully. She stared down at her paws.

"If you don't want to, that's okay," she mewed softly. "I'll go and see if I can find Robinpaw, I guess..."

_Bluepaw was as much her friend as she was mine, _he thought. _She must feel lonely now that Bluepaw's gone...and Sootpaw too, I guess._

"Fine," he meowed, and Blackpaw immediately brightened, only to turn her head as someone shouted her name.

"Blackpaw, what do you think you're _doing?_" Redpaw asked incredulously, padding towards them quickly. "Spiderpaw's the enemy, remember! He's the reason you're not a warrior!"

Irritation crossed Blackpaw's features, but she only said quietly, "No he's not. Spiderpaw's okay."

Spiderpaw shot her a look-what-you've-gotten-me-into glare, before hissing at Redpaw, "I think you should just back off."

Redpaw puffed his chest out. "I don't think so. Just wait until Fireblaze hears that you've been harassing his sister!"

The next glare Spiderpaw sent Blackpaw's way was of the I-told-you-so variety.

"Really, Redpaw, it's okay, Spiderpaw and I were just talking," Blackpaw meowed, but Redpaw had an arrogant, gleeful gleam in his eye.

"I'm sure Fireblaze won't see it that way," he purred.

Anger crackled over Spiderpaw's pelt like lightning. He rose to his paws, fur bristling; anxiety passed over Redpaw's face, but he quickly masked it, inflating himself with a deep breath.

"I think you need to stop messing around with other cats' business," Spiderpaw hissed, showing his face aggressively towards the ginger tom. "Because right now, I don't see Fireblaze nearby to guard you, or anyone peeking over your shoulder. And I can beat you, Redpaw, I've done it before."

"That was just sparring, it doesn't count," Redpaw blustered. "If we really fought, I wouldn't hold back. I'd beat you easily."

A cocky smile flickered on the edge of Spiderpaw's mouth. "Do you really think that, Redpaw? Or is that all just a lot of talk?"

Redpaw met his gaze firmly for a moment, but Spiderpaw sensed weakness; he narrowed his eyes, giving the ginger tom his most intense stare, and Redpaw crumpled.

"Y-you just wait!" Redpaw spat. "I'm telling Fireblaze right now!"

With that, the ginger tom fled, his tail standing straight up as he disappeared into the forest.

"S-" Blackpaw started, by Spiderpaw cut her off with his sharp gaze, raking her pelt with it. He sat down, and tucked his squirrel between his paws once more.

"Go away, Blackpaw," he growled. "I told you you'd just cause trouble."

Blackpaw opened her mouth as if to speak, but just as Spiderpaw had expected she reconsidered, giving him a long glance before padding away, her tail low.

Spiderpaw finished off his squirrel, his pelt prickling with anxiety; with each bite he felt as though Fireblaze was about to burst into the camp entrance and tackle him to the ground.

_Hope those herbs have taken effect by now, _he thought, rising to his paws as he cleaned his muzzle and whiskers with a quick lick.

He looked towards the elders den; Jaggedclaw hadn't moved, but he didn't appear to be asleep, either.

_Alright, _he thought. _Let's see if I can actually use my brain. Jaggedclaw isn't some kittypet; he won't stand up just because I told him to._

_Let's see..._

Turning, he raced into the apprentice den; he swept his gaze over the mossy nests, before smiling slightly as he saw Redpaw's.

_I'm already in trouble; can't get much worse, _he thought, and sank his fangs into the ginger apprentice's bedding.

"Jaggedclaw," he called, padding towards the scarred tom with the moss in his jaws. "I brought you your new nest."

Jaggedclaw's eye opened slowly. "I don't need one."

Spiderpaw's tail lashed. "If you're going to die, that's fine, but there's no reason for you to do it in a dirty nest," he replied. "You might as well be somewhat comfortable."

Jaggedclaw scowled at him, then let loose a loud sigh. "Fine. I'll humor you." Slowly, the tom heaved himself to his paws, as he did every day; then, he blinked slowly, his eyes widening in astonishment. Slowly, he turned his scarred muzzle towards his injured shoulder, and stared at it for a long moment. Spiderpaw waited, resisting to urge the purr as Jaggedclaw lifted up one paw, watching his injured shoulder move.

"The pain," he meowed. "It's...it's so much duller, like..." His gaze flicked to Spiderpaw. "Those herbs, did they...?"

A grin split Spiderpaw's muzzle. "Yup," he purred. "Shimmerfrost knows some herbs that really help with joint pain, and Silverstar helped convince her to make an herb thingy for you. I went and got some of the stuff myself." He allowed him another purr of pride.

Jaggedclaw continued to raise and lower his paw, looking almost like a kit that was starting to walk for the first time. "It's...the pain is still there, but it's much duller than before...it's not aching as badly, or throbbing..." He trailed off and stared at the black apprentice. "Thank you."

Spiderpaw's tail twitched. "Don't thank me just yet. Come on." He flicked his ear towards the fresh-kill pile. Jaggedclaw's gaze followed the movement, and he suddenly looked wary.

"I don't think..."

Spiderpaw saw a flicker of fear in the tom's amber eye. _He's scared that he'll falter, like he did when he was arguing with Reedrush, _he realized. _He hates showing weakness above all else._

"Come on," he said firmly. "It's only a few steps, not so far at all. If you need help..."

To his surprise, Jaggedclaw let out a low chuckle. "If I leaned on you, I would only smash you flatter than a leaf," he meowed.

Spiderpaw decided to let the size comment pass, for the moment at least.

"Come on, Jaggedclaw," he meowed again, refusing to let a pleading note enter his voice. "There's hardly anyone here to see you. Most cats are out on patrol or whatever. If you can't make it, that's okay. Don't you think walking would be good enough?"

Jaggedclaw's gaze hardened. "Moons ago, I would have taken walking for granted," he growled. "Now I have to have an apprentice lead me on, like I'm some doddering fool."

Spiderpaw realized his mistake immediately. "That's not what I meant."

Jaggedclaw let out another chuckle, but this one was tinged with bitterness. "Of course it's not. You're not brave enough to tell me how pathetic I am to my face."

Sudden irritation stabbed Spiderpaw like a thorn, and he felt his fur bristling. "Not brave enough?" he spat. "You're the one who's hiding here in your den like a coward! You weren't brave enough to tell Reedrush how you felt. You weren't brave enough to tell her your past so she wouldn't go on the journey and leave you here. You weren't brave enough to try and do this starving thing while she was here, because you didn't want to face her, didn't want her to know how hopeless you think you are! And now that you've got a chance to change that, now that we've found a way to dull the pain, you're still too scared to try and leave your shelter!"

Jaggedclaw's eyes narrowed. "You don't know what you're talking about," he rumbled, and Spiderpaw realized that the scarred tom was actually growing angry; his dirty, unkempt fur was rising on his shoulders and along his spine.

An idea occurred to Spiderpaw, and for a moment he hesitated – he was certain that Jaggedclaw's wrath would be a sight to behold, and that he might be injured in the process – but he had no choice.

"You're a coward, that's what you are," he snarled, taking a step backwards as he spoke so that he was halfway out of the den.

"Watch your mouth," Jaggedclaw snarled back, his single eye burning with anger.

"A dirty stinking coward!" Spiderpaw yowled, and Jaggedclaw moved forward before either of them quite knew what was happening; Spiderpaw let out a yelp as Jaggedclaw's paw hit him, sending him sprawling.

He sprang to his paws immediately, ears ringing from the blow, and stared at the scarred tom. For a moment, both of them were motionless, before Spiderpaw grinned.

"See what just happened?" he asked. Jaggedclaw blinked slowly, then looked over his shoulder, seemingly astonished to find that he had moved from the inside to the entrance of the den.

"You walked," Spiderpaw purred, ignoring his blooming headache. "Only one step, but that's something."

Jaggedclaw simply stared back at him, bemused. Then, slowly, painfully, the gray tabby reached out with his good paw and leaned on his good shoulder as he took another step. His tail flicked from side to side, freed from the confines of the den. There was still a stiffness to Jaggedclaw's movements, but Spiderpaw had the feeling that if the tom continued to work, it might lift somewhat; his green eyes gleamed with excitement and he almost seemed to beam with pride, like a queen fawning over her kit.

He realized that Jaggedclaw was no longer looking at him, and he turned, following his amber gaze to Fireblaze's astonished face; next to the ginger warrior was Redpaw, whose jaw had dropped as he stared at Jaggedclaw, standing on his own, his single eye gleaming.

Spiderpaw felt the glow of triumph rising within him, and he turned to Jaggedclaw with a low purr.

"Let's see Fireblaze try to mess with me with _you _around."

**AN: I've been busy x9001 lately, so sorry for the slow updates. Thanks for being so patient, you wonderful people~**

**Blog update tomorrow, it's too late tonight. xD**


	19. C h a p t e r 18

**AN: In case it isn't terribly clear, this story, unlike Shattered, has a linear timeline. The chapters begin and end at the same time for the characters; for instance, last Sootpaw chapter left off during the night while she was dreaming, so the next Spiderpaw chapter continued that same night.**

**This makes it a bit harder to make everything fit as neatly as I'd like, but at the same time it's much less confusing for both me and the reader, since certain characters aren't skipping completely ahead of everyone else (*coughNightshadecough*) or lagging a few days behind most of the time (*pokes Northy*).**

**C _h a p t e r _18**

She was content, oddly enough, despite being so far away from home and almost everything she knew. Her belly was full, her paws were rested; she was a little tired, and Swanpaw's biting remarks were beginning to wear on her a bit, but she really had nothing to complain about. After all, she was alive, and when thinking of Chillpaw and the Dark Forest, she realized what a blessing being alive was.

Not to say that Swanpaw wasn't quickly becoming her least favorite part of the journey.

She glanced quickly towards Reedrush, who was slightly ahead of her, and smiled; Reedrush had woken her up rather early in the morning so that they could go and hunt together, away from everyone else.

Sootpaw still hadn't managed to catch anything, but she had missed a little frog by mere whiskers, and that had been enough to cheer her up. Reedrush had caught her a mouse, even though Northstar had said that Sootpaw had to rely on her own skills; they had decided that if the white tom didn't ask, they wouldn't tell, and he had not decided to question either of them.

She glanced up at the sky; it was nearly sunhigh, but that was almost impossible to discern thanks to the rapidly gathering clouds above them; the coming storm was seemingly at odds with her sunny mood.

Her gaze flicked to Reedrush again, and she frowned slightly, feeling puzzled; they were not heading for the lake as Sootpaw had expected; instead they were cutting through the pine forest, heading to the mountains to save time. Sootpaw had thought that the reason that Reedrush had wanted to go through the Twolegplace was to visit the lake, but when Northstar had announced that they would be cutting through the forest to save time, Reedrush hadn't seemed disappointed.

_So why did she want to go to the Twolegplace, then? _She wondered. _We've always been told that it's a dangerous, scary place. She's been there before, when she and Jaggedclaw came through...it's not like there's anything new there to see. Why would she want to go back?_

She noticed Northstar seemed uneasy; the large white tom seemed to be looking up at the sky ever so often, squinting up at the clouds with unreadable golden orbs.

_He's not worried about a little rain, is he? _She mused, before a loud sneeze caught her attention. She turned to look over her shoulder; Jaypaw was behind her, and he had stopped walking to rub his nose with one paw.

"You okay?" she asked, and he nodded quickly.

"Bug flew up my nose," he replied.

It wasn't for several minutes that she realized she had hardly seen any bugs at all the last few days, even in the marsh where they were supposed to be plentiful; most of the insects had died because leaf-fall was slowly giving way to leaf-bare.

_Did he lie?_ She thought, but could come up with no good reason why the gray apprentice would hide a sneeze.

She nearly jumped out of her fur as thunder rolled above her head; she looked up at the sky just in time to have a raindrop splash her face. She shook herself, sending the droplet flying, only to be hit with a sheet of water as the clouds above released their precious cargo.

Within moments, the entire party was soaked; Northstar's ears flattened, but he said nothing. Just ahead of them, Sootpaw could see the grove of pine trees that they were supposed to be heading towards; hopefully their needles and branches would provide some protection from the storm.

White lightning lanced above their heads, followed by the heavy clap of thunder; Sootpaw's ears flattened at the sound, and she shook herself again, despite knowing that the motion would do little good for her sodden pelt.

_When was the last time I heard a storm? _She found herself wondering. _It must have been a long time ago, back when I was just a little kit..._

Lightning flashed again, illuminating the group for a moment – she could barely see past her own nose in the pouring rain – and her eyes widened as she realized that Northstar had broken into a run. The rest of the group quickly followed suit, dashing towards the safety of the pine trees.

The pine needles felt strange underneath her paws; she had never seen more than one or two of the coniferous trees in the same place before. It felt strange to be surrounded by green, when the air was so cold; it was unsettling. The pines stood above her like great stone pillars, their trunks sticky with sap and their needles a startling green against the great cloudy sky.

Still, the sound of raindrops hitting the branches above them was oddly soothing, and she found herself relaxing slightly even as the thunder continued to rumble.

"Are we going to stop?" she wondered aloud; Northstar glanced over his shoulder at her, eyes narrowed.

"We don't have any time to waste," he growled. "We're trying to save our Clanmates. Don't forget that."

"A stop sounds pretty good to me, actually," Jaypaw said quietly. She glanced over her shoulder to blink at him again, and he yawned. "We've been covering a lot of ground the past few days, is all. We're all pretty tired."

Bluepaw nodded in agreement. "I could use a nap," she meowed, and then gave her coat a good shake, sending water flying everywhere.

"Stop it, furball!" Swanpaw spat, raising up a paw to shield herself from the spray. "What's wrong with you?"

"She's just wet," Thistlethorn snapped at the white apprentice. "Give her a break."

"We're all wet and tired," Rainwind said calmly. "Perhaps a break would be for the best, Northstar, to allow us to unwind."

Northstar let out a snort of disgust. "So, you lazy cats are the ones that StarClan chose to figure out this mysterious prophecy and save both of our Clans. Great."

Jaypaw looked worried. "I'm sure we could go a bit farther, actually," he said quietly. "I wouldn't mind too much."

"Yeah, let's keep going," Brackenpaw said quickly, blinking up at his father. "I'm not tired, I don't need to rest."

Northstar simply nodded, and the party began walking once more.

. . .

The mountains soon rose above them, jagged peaks frosted with snow jutting up towards the dark sky. Sootpaw stared at them in awe, silently wondering how they, the puny insignificant cats, were expected to cross them.

_But Ravenwing did, and Eaglestrike too, so it must be possible, _she realized. _That's the legacy I have to live up to...my parents crossed mountains and went through Twolegplaces and built a Clan. How can anything that I ever do amount to that? How can I ever prove myself, when my parents have already done so much?_

Her ears flattened at the thought; she knew that Spiderpaw was much more ambitious than she was, but at the same time she still wanted to prove to her parents that she was just as good as they were.

_It's not like I can tell them about the stuff I'm doing with Chillpaw, _she thought ruefully, _and they're going to be really mad about me going on this journey when I get home..._She sighed softly. _They're probably already disappointed in me, since I'm so useless..._

She felt a tail brush her flank; when she turned, she was surprised to find that it was not Bluepaw staring at her, but Jaypaw.

"You okay?" he asked quietly. "You look worried."

"Yeah," she mumbled. "Just thinking about my parents."

He nodded in understanding. "I'm thinking of mine, too...and Robinpaw, of course." His amber eyes darkened.

"Which dad do you think about?" Sootpaw blurted without thinking. She flushed with embarrassment, realizing that she didn't know whether or not Jaypaw remembered his real father, Brightfire, at all.

"I don't really think about Brightfire or Darkstorm all that much, honestly," he replied. "I'm usually thinking about my mother or Robinpaw."

She couldn't help but notice the slight growl in his voice as he spoke the black tom's name.

"You don't like Darkstorm?" she inquired. He shrugged.

"I know Frostfeather loves him, so I guess part of me feels like I should too...but he was never there for Robinpaw or me, when we were little. It wasn't until we were apprenticed that he could even look at us without flinching...and he's always still sort of wary of us. We never really did any father-son bonding...and I guess I still sort of blame him for not saving Robinpaw. I get that he has this weird fear of kits or whatever, but all he had to do was catch her, and she wouldn't have a limp or feel like she's not as good as the other apprentices." Jaypaw's fur ruffled slightly, the rain making it stand up in slick wet spikes.

"What about Brightfire?" Sootpaw asked cautiously. "Can you remember him at all?"

Jaypaw was quiet for a moment. "Frostfeather says he used to visit us a lot," he said finally, "but I can't really remember him. Sometimes I can sort of remember his smell...it was weird, almost salty underneath the normal forest smells. And sometimes I can sort of see his fur in my mind...but that might just be because Robinpaw inherited it from him, I don't know. Sometimes I wonder about what things would be like, if he hadn't died...if I would have a real dad, you know, or if he would just be like Darkstorm, sort of distant. I guess there's no way to know now, right?" He attempted to smile, but the smile gave way to a quiet cough.

Sootpaw felt a prickle of sympathy for the poor tom. "That's why you're mad at Spiderpaw, right? Because he hurt Robinpaw's feelings?"

As soon as she saw his muzzle twist, she regretted her words. "Robinpaw's always afraid that she can't be good enough, because of her leg," he spat. "I told Spiderpaw to keep his mouth shut...she tries _so _hard to keep up with me, to move past her injury, but part of her is always afraid that she can't, that she's going to fail. She used to get up at dawn every day to train, did you know that? She wants to be the best. And when Spiderpaw said that...it was like she saw that she couldn't be the best, no matter how hard she tried." He shook his head.

"She doesn't still feel that way, does she?" Sootpaw asked anxiously. "Spiderpaw never meant it that way. He would never really want to hurt anyone."

Jaypaw shrugged again. "I don't know. She says she's fine now, that she just wants him to apologize...she did always get over things pretty quickly, but he still shouldn't have done it, and he never apologized. That's the thing that bothers us the most; your brother just mouths off all the time to everyone, and never admits that he regrets it. He's always screeching about how he's the best, the hero..." Jaypaw's ears flattened. "That's kind of part of why I wanted to come on this journey, I guess. I wanted to prove that I could be a hero just as much as he could...and to make sure that Robinpaw is safe, that she doesn't get safe. I won't fail her like Darkstorm did."

Sootpaw nuzzled his shoulder. "She loves you, you know. More than anyone in the whole world."

Jaypaw smiled, letting out a quiet purr. "I know. That's why I'll always protect her and help her, whenever I can. I always want her to look up to me like that. I always want to be there for her." He coughed quietly, and Sootpaw blinked at him with concern.

"You've been coughing a bit," she observed. Jaypaw nodded, then shook his muzzle, sending water flying; more water streamed down his muzzle as the rain continued to beat down on them.

"I think I've just got a cold. It's been bothering me for a few days, but it's nothing serious," he replied. "I'm fine."

"Being out in the rain can hardly be good for you, though; it's cold," she mewed with a shiver. Jaypaw laughed, nudging her with his shoulder.

"I just told you I'll do anything for Robinpaw; that includes trudging around in the rain," he joked. "Besides, I'm sure we'll go through the tunnels when we reach the mountains. We'll dry off there."

Sootpaw blinked; she hadn't realized that there were tunnels in the mountains.

_My parents didn't use them, did they? Probably only FrozenClan really knows about them...I guess that's another way my parents are better than me, huh? _She thought, then gave her fur another shake. _Still, I really would like to be out of this rain, I guess._

"Isn't this great?" Bluepaw chirped, falling back to pad alongside them; she was grinning, her white fangs flashing even in the gloom of the overcast sky. "Bramblethorn used to say that rain was StarClan's way of replenishing the forest. I've always liked rain." She bounced along beside them, looking as chipper as always.

"Great isn't the word I'd use, no," Jaypaw meowed dryly.

"At least someone is happy," Sootpaw laughed, nudging Bluepaw playfully with her shoulder. Bluepaw nudged her back with a grin, surprisingly strongly, nearly sending her tumbling into the mud and needles.

"Quit goofing off," a sharp voice meowed behind them; Sootpaw's ears flattened as she recognized it as Swanpaw's. Sure enough, the white apprentice caught up to them, blue eyes gleaming coldly.

"You can't just be playing around," she growled. "We have a mission to focus on. We can't take breaks," she paused to glare at Jaypaw, "and we can't play around." She shot a second glare towards Sootpaw and Bluepaw.

Sootpaw's ears flattened, but Bluepaw wasn't perturbed.

"We can still have fun while we continue our mission," she purred. "There's no reason we can't all be friends, right?" She tapped Swanpaw's shoulder with her paw.

Swanpaw let out a hiss, lashing out; Bluepaw let out a yelp, falling to the ground as Swanpaw swatted her muzzle. Bluepaw blinked up at the white she-cat, confusion clouding her blue eyes.

"Don't you dare touch me," Swanpaw snarled. "I'm not here to be any of your friends. I'm here to help my mother, got it?" She stalked away, tail lashing.

Sootpaw was surprised to find anger burning inside of her; her eyes narrowed as she watched Swanpaw hurry to catch up with the others. She took a step forward, letting out a quiet hiss, only to find Jaypaw blocking her.

"It won't do any good," he said softly, and helped Bluepaw to her feet. "Just let it go."

"I'm fine, really," Bluepaw meowed, looking shaken. "She didn't use her claws. I was just surprised, is all."

"She can't just _do _that, though! You were only trying to be friendly!" Sootpaw exclaimed, her anger already beginning to ebb away.

"Maybe PeakClan cats just aren't all that friendly," Jaypaw said, with a glance in Swanpaw's direction; the white apprentice hadn't even stopped to see if Bluepaw was standing again. "Either way, there's no point in raising a fuss now. We've got to get used to traveling with them; it might be another moon before our journey is over."

"Or even longer," Bluepaw said nervously. "You should count yourself lucky, Sootpaw. You'll be going home in a few days; you'll be with your parents and your brother again, safe and sound."

Her ears flattened. "That's exactly what I don't want."

Bluepaw blinked at her curiously as the three of them began walking again, hurrying to catch up. "You don't want to go home?"

"Why do you think I came out here?" Sootpaw asked. "I want to be a part of this. I want to help. I just...have a feeling that I'll be needed."

Jaypaw sneezed. "Really? I never thought of you as that sort of cat."

"What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. You've always been sort of quiet...we've never trained together or anything, and you're never at any of the apprentice sparring sessions."

She flushed. "I'm always too embarrassed," she admitted. "Since I don't have a mentor, I've never had any battle training, so I'd just make a fool of myself if I sparred against anyone...plus, Spiderpaw is really good, so that would just make everything worse."

Jaypaw nodded with understanding. "I know what you mean. Robinpaw's pretty good at sparring too, so Fireblaze and Redpaw sometimes tease me for being shown up by a cripple...not when she's around, of course, or I'd rip their pelts off. I'm not a very good fighter, even with Stormshadow as my mentor. Still, I'm working to get better. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you tagged along with us once in awhile; he'll actually be open for an apprentice, since I'm here."

She shivered, only partially because of the rain. "He kind of scares me, really...and I know he really dislikes Spiderpaw. I don't think he'd take that out on me, but...Spiderpaw would be really jealous. Stormshadow is the exact kind of mentor that Spiderpaw wants."

"I don't know why he wants to be all big and tough and scary," Bluepaw meowed. "I think he's fine just the way he is, even if he is a little small."

Sootpaw thought she saw a hint of a flush underneath Bluepaw's dark fur, but the pouring rain made it impossible to tell.

"Hurry up, you three!" she heard Northstar rumble; the three apprentices glanced at one another, before breaking into a lope together.

. . .

Sootpaw was aware that their surroundings were changing; the pines were beginning to thin out, and the forest earth and needle blanket were beginning to give way to thinner, rocky soil. The mountains loomed ever closer, and she couldn't help but shiver when she saw their cold peaks.

"We are not going over the mountains," Northstar said as they drew closer. "We are going through a tunnel to save time; it will also be safer. The journey will take about two days; I could move much faster by myself, but I doubt you will be able to navigate the tunnels by yourselves. We will all have to stick closely together to avoid anyone getting lost or veering off into a forking tunnel."

"Two days?" Brackenpaw asked with surprise. "That sounds like an awfully long time."

"The mountains are large," Northstar said simply, giving his son a glance with his cold golden eyes. "It takes time to work through them, especially since the tunnels are not completely efficient. They tend to curve and twist rather than blazing a clear trail through the rock. Still, it is faster than attempting to climb the mountains, and a lot easier on your soft forest paws." He flicked his tail. "Obviously there will be no prey in the tunnels, which means that this is our last meal until we're out of them."

Sootpaw's eyes widened; she shot Reedrush a nervous glance. This time, Northstar would probably be paying attention to make sure that she really was catching her own prey.

"The entrance to the tunnels is up there," he said, flicking his tail; Sootpaw followed the motion and blinked as she realized that the ground had already started to slope up towards the mountains underneath her paws without her realizing it. She couldn't see the entrance to the tunnels against the rocky face of the mountain, but she knew that they were probably hard to see from farther away.

To her surprise, Jaypaw flopped down underneath the nearest pine tree.

"What are you doing? Too lazy to hunt?" Swanpaw jeered.

"I'm not really all that hungry, and it takes me forever to hunt anyway," he meowed, not rising to her jibes. "I'll just wait here for you guys."

Sootpaw blinked at him, puzzled, but he seemed relaxed; she glanced towards Reedrush again, who gave her a beckoning flick with her tail.

"No," Northstar said quietly. "She'll be coming with me."

"Can I come too?" Brackenpaw asked hopefully; Northstar shook his head.

"Hunt with your mentor. Just because you're on this journey doesn't mean that your training has stopped," he growled. Brackenpaw's ears drooped, but Northstar wasn't paying attention, flicking his tail again to Sootpaw. Anxiety prickled her pelt and stung her stomach, but she had no choice but to follow the white tom.

She trailed after him, head bowed slightly, ears burning; she knew that she would be unable to catch whatever they found on their way, and she would be forced to starve until they reached wherever they were headed.

_FrozenClan's old camp, I guess? Tremor and the old FrozenClan cats are probably still living there...the ones left over from the wars that didn't defect to Carmelo after they lost the battle...and the pregnant queens forced to stay behind..._Her stomach gave a gurgle, and she sighed. _Maybe Bluepaw will share a few bites with me._

She bumped into Northstar's tail, not realizing that he had stopped; he gave her a disdainful glance over his shoulder, and she flushed even deeper.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"Do you know how to hunt?" was all he said in reply. She swallowed nervously.

"Um, no," she admitted Northstar would only catch if she lied when she fumbled her attempt at catching prey. He nodded, as if he had expected nothing less.

"Reedrush mentioned that you didn't have a mentor," he said, and flicked his tail. "You and I will be companions on the way back, and it would not be advised for me to bring you back to your parents half-starved. However, do not think that I will catch your food for you. You're an apprentice; someday you will be a warrior for your Clan, and mentor or no mentor, you cannot neglect your studies. Leaf-bare is coming soon, and you will be expected to provide for your Clanmates."

She nodded quickly. "I know that, and I really do want to help them. I don't want to be a burden to my Clan."

"As long as you're willing to learn, I'll teach you what I can in the limited time that we have."

She longed to ask why, why an enemy warrior would help an apprentice who was of another Clan – albeit a Clan that his own currently had an uneasy treaty with – but did not dare.

"Do you scent anything?" he asked. She quickly opened her mouth, thanking StarClan that she was actually a decent scenter.

"Yes," she said, after a brief pause. "I mean, I think so."

"Don't think. Know. What do you smell?"

She glanced at him nervously; his gruff approach was very different from Reedrush's gentle help. "Um, a bird of some kind. And a mouse."

"A bird of some kind?" he echoed. "Not good enough. You need to know exactly what kind of bird you're dealing with."

"Why?" she couldn't help but ask. "They're all basically the same, aren't they?"

He merely stared at her. "It's obvious to me why you haven't caught any prey, if you approach them all with that mindset. Of course there are different approaches. You wouldn't use the same stalk for a mouse as you would a vole even though they look similar, now would you?"

"No," she said timidly, and he flicked his tail.

"Some birds are slower than others; pigeons and doves, for example, are somewhat slow-witted and will take a moment to launch their plump bodies into the sky. Jays, on the other paw, are quick to react; not only that, but they will immediately fly to the nearest branch and call out loudly for all to hear that there is a predator lurking around. You'll have a much harder time catching prey after that."

"Okay, I get it now. So, what kind of bird is it, and how do I can it?"

He flicked his ear dismissively. "It doesn't matter, for the moment. Birds are often difficult to catch, and unless they're plump, they're feathers get in the way of the meat, which means they're generally not worth the effort. We'll be going after the mouse. Do you know how to hunt those?"

"Sort of," she said uneasily. "I mean, I know the basics of stalking...but I'm not quite fast enough to catch them."

He nodded as if he had expected her answer. "Follow me. We'll get closer to the mouse." He padded forwards, his large paws barely making a sound as he fell into a crouch and crept over the ground; she watched his powerful muscles rippling under his pelt, and felt a prickle of envy.

_He's so big, but he can still move so stealthily, _she thought. _I want to be able to do that too._

He glanced at her, and frowned. "You're stepping too heavily." He stopped, holding up his tail for her to stop to. She did so, watching him anxiously. "Imagine that you're on a slope, with hundreds of pebbles underneath your paws," he meowed, sweeping one paw gently over the fallen needles as he did so. "One false move with send them tumbling, and you along with them."

Without quite meaning to, she glanced over her shoulder, blinking up at the mountains. _For FrozenClan apprentices, it wasn't just pretend, _she thought. _One wrong step, and they could fall off the mountain...it must have been really tough for them. _She glanced towards the white tom, eyes gleaming with new respect. Silently, she moved forward again, imagining the slide of smooth pebbles underneath her paws; Northstar said nothing, but she thought she saw him nod with satisfaction out of the corner of her eye.

He stopped again, and she did as well. "Do you see it?" he asked. She peered through the sparse brush; for a moment she could see nothing, but then she picked out the mouse, camouflaged nearly perfectly with the brown needles. If Northstar hadn't pointed it out, she wouldn't have seen it at all. She nodded, and he said,

"Well, then catch it."

She looked at him nervously, and the tip of his tail twitched with irritation. "Imagine that you are a hawk," he growled. "You lock your eyes onto your prey, and as soon as you do, their fate is sealed. When you strike, you do not miss; when you dive, your prey's death is only seconds away. Hawks do not fail, and neither will you."

Sootpaw took a deep, steadying breath, and felt a warm pelt brush her side. She glanced to the side, blinking as she saw Moonpaw's blue eyes gleaming back at her.

"You can do it," the black apprentice purred. "You're ready, I know you are. And if I know it, so do you."

Sootpaw smiled, feeling heartened, and locked her eyes onto her prey, taking another deep breath to settle her nerves. Remembering what Reedrush had attempted to teach her the day before, she settled into a hunting crouch, and crept forward, almost able to feel the imaginary pebbles underneath her paw once more. She tensed as the mouse paused in its scrabbling; her eyes narrowed as she pictured her hawk wings, felt the push and pull of the wind around her as she soared through the sky. She unsheathed her claws, like talons, and without the slightest hesitation, sprang forward.

It was like she was falling out of the sky in slow motion; she saw the mouse look up at her, saw its eyes widen in fright, saw the certainty in its dark orbs that it was going to die. And, like the hawk, she did not miss, grabbing the creature in her paws and killing it with a bite to the throat.

It took her a moment to realize what had happened; it wasn't until she tasted blood on her tongue that she realized she had actually done it, that she had actually made her first kill. She turned to Northstar, a grin splitting her muzzle, but he only looked guarded, as usual.

"Well done," was all he said. "Go on back to the others, eat. I'll be along soon."

She nodded quickly, picking up her mouse; she paused for a moment, studying the white tom; he was still watching her. Quickly, she pressed her nose against his shoulder in thanks, before springing away.

Jaypaw's eyes were closed when she approached, his head resting on his paws; next to him was Bluepaw, cleaning her whiskers, and Brackenpaw, who was looking into the forest, probably in hopes of seeing his father.

"Hey," Sootpaw purred with pride, her voice slightly muffled by the mouse she carried. She dropped it at Jaypaw's paws, and he nearly jumped with surprise, his eyes snapping open.

"You caught it? Nice!" Bluepaw exclaimed.

"My first catch," she meowed with pride; Jaypaw smiled.

"Congratulations," he grinned. Sootpaw glanced towards Brackenpaw, wondering if the PeakClan apprentice would be friendly enough to congratulate her as well, or if he would be cold like Swanpaw and belittle her for not knowing how to hunt. However, it appeared he still wasn't paying attention; the uneaten vole between his paws seemed forlorn and forgotten.

Sootpaw sat down, and frowned; Jaypaw hadn't changed his mind and tried to catch anything while she was gone.

"Do you want some?" she asked tentatively. Jaypaw shook his head.

"No, I'm really not too hungry. Besides, it's your first prey. You've earned the right to eat it."

"Hey now, if someone's offering seconds I'd be glad to take them up on that!" Rabbitleap's chipper voice purred. Sootpaw glanced at the gray-and-white she-cat; she hadn't realized that she was back as well. Whatever remained of what the PeakClan warrior had eaten had apparently already been disposed of.

"Do you really want some?" Sootpaw offered, but Rabbitleap only twitched her whiskers.

"I was just kidding. Jaypaw's right, your first prey is something special, and you should be the one to eat it. Besides, you'll be hungry by tomorrow, when we're stuck in those gloomy tunnels!"

Sootpaw smiled, and went to take a bite of her mouse, only to find Bluepaw already nibbling it playfully. She pawed the blue-gray apprentice's muzzle, and the medicine apprentice giggled, pawing her back.

Sootpaw took a bite of the mouse, sighing with pleasure as its delicious juices flooded her mouth; there was nothing like tender, musky forest prey. It wasn't as good as the prey back in her home territory, of course, but it was fairly close.

Brackenpaw sprang to his paws when Northstar returned; Sootpaw's whiskers twitched as she saw a plump thrush in his jaws, and she guessed that it was the bird she had scented earlier.

Brackenpaw hurried to sit beside his father; Sootpaw watched them for a moment, before returning her attention to her own meal. She finished it in minutes; by that time, the remaining members of the party had returned with their own meals, all except Swanpaw, who came back empty-pawed. Sootpaw couldn't help but feel a small sense of vindictive pleasure as she saw Swanpaw shoot Reedrush an envious glance; the silver tabby had managed to snag a rather large squirrel.

_Serves her right for making fun of me, _Sootpaw thought, before feeling a twinge of guilt; after all, Swanpaw had lost her sister and her mother was sick; it wasn't fair to judge her sour temper, when things were so hard for her.

_She might even be blaming us, since the battle and sickness wouldn't have happened if AshClan hadn't come here, _she thought, ears flattening slightly at the thought. _But it wasn't really our fault, was it? We had to come to the forest, it was our destiny...If she's mad at anyone, shouldn't it be Northstar?_

"Hey, Swanpaw, want some of my food?" Bluepaw offered; Swanpaw shot her a scathing glance.

"No thanks," she growled. "I don't want anything that an AshClan cat has slobbered all over."

Hurt flitted over Bluepaw's face, but she simply shrugged. "Okay, if that's how you feel." Sootpaw watched Swanpaw's expression as Bluepaw gulped down the last of her dinner; there was no mistaking that longing look.

"Let's go, then, if everyone's finished eating," Northstar meowed, rising to his paws, cleaning his white muzzle with a rasp of his tongue; Rainwind, who had been the last to return, spat out a feather and rose to his feet.

Northstar flicked his tail, leading them up the slope; Sootpaw felt her heart pound more quickly as soil gave way to rough rock underneath her paws. Above them, a gaping mouth appeared, black as pitch: the tunnel.

She opened her mouth, tasting the cold air that seemed to waft out of the dark maw; she shuddered, imagining the icy walls closing around her. What if they collapsed, or what if the tunnel ended in a way that Northstar did not expect? What if they got lost?

"Hold onto the cat in front of you," Northstar instructed. "Keep touching them, otherwise you might get separated and head down a different branch. I doubt it'll happen, but we might as well take precautions. I'll be going in first, to read the signs."

"The signs?" Bluepaw echoed curiously. "What're those?"

"I'll explain on the way, it's faster that way; there's no point in weighing down our journeying with meaningless exposition," he said simply. "Come on now, let's hurry."

Brackenpaw bounced up to grab his father's tail in his mouth, as Northstar disappeared into the darkness; the rest of the party quickly built a chain behind him. Sootpaw found herself on the very end, clinging to Reedrush; the silver tabby blinked at her with kind green eyes.

"Don't be afraid," she said softly, as her silver pelt faded into the shadows. "The darkness can't hurt you."

_But the cats that dwell in it can, _she thought, her fur prickling, and for a moment she wasn't sure whether she was referring to the Dark Forest cats, or FrozenClan.

The chill seemed to settle on her pelt as soon as she entered the tunnel; the floor was smooth under her paws, worn down by the paws of many cats and whatever had created them in the first place.

She heard Northstar's voice wafting towards her, echoing slightly off the walls; she pricked her ears, trying to listen closely.

"FrozenClan did not create the tunnels," he meowed, his voice soft; he did not have to be loud for her to hear. "We were not even the first to find them. That honor lies with the rogues that were our ancestors, many years ago. They discovered the network of tunnels running through these mountains, although they did not see the value of them at the time. It was only after the fire that they became of use. The rogues of my father's time explored them, and tried to learn their twists and turns, but it quickly became apparent that it was nearly impossible to remember where each tunnel led, and it was difficult to share this knowledge with others. That is, until my father created the first Carving."

Sootpaw bumped into Reedrush's hindquarters, and mumbled an apology, only to realize that the silver tabby had stopped walking.

"If you press your muzzle against the tunnel wall as we go along – for the apprentices, it will be a little high – you can feel it," Northstar continued, and she heard his paws brushing the ground as he began moving forward; the cats in front of her let out low murmurs as they felt whatever Northstar was talking about.

Reedrush made a noise of interest, before whispering, "Lift your muzzle a bit to feel it."

Sootpaw did so obediently, eyes widening as she felt the grooves in the stone; they were quite deep, but she didn't have time to explore them further as the group kept moving.

"My father figured out that in order to map the tunnels, we needed some way of marking them, of showing which tunnels were useful and which were not; to differentiate between their destinations and turns. The one you just felt is the simplest; it simply means 'camp.' If we continue to follow this trail, we will end up at the camp. Of course, there are many twists and turns and branches along the way, and it is easy to get lost; this is why the tunnel is not at all hidden. There is no risk of an outsider stumbling onto this tunnel and heading through it into our camp."

"But how do you know you're going the right way?" Brackenpaw's voice rang out.

"There are other markings as well; these are diagonal, and they tell whether to go to the left or the right. They are accompanied by the sign of wherever the path leads; for example, here in a short time we will find the Carvings that mean 'go left to the camp.'"

"The right branch doesn't lead anywhere, then?" Rainwind meowed.

"Exactly."

Sootpaw blinked; she had to admit, the idea was ingenious; it was hard for her to imagine the cat that had come up with it.

_Frozenstar, the founder of FrozenClan...Northstar has quite a legacy to uphold. Would his father be proud of his path now? _Her ears flattened. _Would mine?_

"But what if these 'Carvings' wear down?" Thistlethorn growled. "Or what if you misunderstand them?"

"Apprentices are tutored when they are quite young about the Carvings, to ensure that no mistakes are made," he meowed. "It's not unheard of, of course, but very rare, and if it does happen then usually a warrior can find them, with time. Venturing into un-Carved tunnels is very dangerous, of course, since even we don't know where they all go.

"The Carvings don't generally wear down, either; only rarely does water pass through these tunnels now, and only when there has been a lot of heavy rain...most of the tunnels we frequently use never flood anyway," he continued. "We should be fine."

The group was silent then; Sootpaw couldn't help but stare in front of her, eyes straining in the darkness, hoping for some glimpse of light, some proof that the sun was still shining above them, past the rock and dark clouds.

The tunnel gradually became narrower, so close that her fur nearly brushed it on both sides, and she could feel her breath catching in her throat at the thought of being trapped, unable to reach the stars and sun and air. She began to breath more rapidly, almost panting against Reedrush's tail, which was still in her mouth.

"It's okay," she heard a soft voice whisper, and she felt a nose nudge her hindquarters. She tilted her head just slightly, relaxing her grip on Reedrush's tail, and thought she saw the slightest flicker of blue eyes.

"Don't be afraid; I'm right here," Moonpaw whispered. "Northstar knows where he's going; you'll be out of here soon enough, okay? I promise. Just relax. This is way better than scaling the mountains."

_Like my parents did, _she thought again, ears flattening. Moonpaw seemed to sense her discomfort; she nosed her tail again comfortingly.

"Don't worry. Chillpaw and the others wouldn't let anything happen to you. They need you, remember?"

Sootpaw's eyes widened. _Can they impact the living like that? _She wondered

"Not exactly," Moonpaw admitted, sensing her thoughts again, "but if anything was going to happen, they'd warn you...or someone else would. StarClan seems to have an eye on you too, right?"

Sootpaw suddenly recalled her last StarClan-given dream. _Is someone going to drown, like Nightpaw did in my dream? _She wondered anxiously. _Northstar mentioned that water could sometimes flow in these tunnels, or something like that...but he said that water almost never gets in the tunnels, so..._

_Should I visit Chillpaw again tonight? _She asked Moonpaw. _Is he going to be...expecting me again?_

"I don't think so; he said to take some time off, remember? So that you wouldn't be tired. I personally think that you just need some time away from him and all this spiritual nonsense; some time to relax and play. With me, of course!" Sootpaw was certain that Moonpaw was smiling at her, though she couldn't see her grin in the darkness.

_If you say so, _she thought wearily; Moonpaw was right about the 'spiritual nonsense' taking its toll on her. The large gray apprentice felt worn out from all that had been going on the past few moons; of course, she knew that she probably wasn't the only one that was tired.

"Have fun!" Moonpaw giggled, and Sootpaw realized she couldn't hear the black she-cat's pawsteps anymore; she was gone.

The tunnel twisted and turned as they walked; Sootpaw tried to keep track of how many forks they went down, how many times the tunnels sloped upwards or slid downwards, but by the time Northstar called for them to rest, she had completely lost track.

_Thank StarClan we have him to guide us, or we'd never be able to find FrozenClan's camp, _she thought wearily. _AshClan is really lucky that PeakClan decided to help us out...although I guess they really had no choice, since we're the ones who received the prophecy..._She frowned. There was something disconcerting about only one Clan receiving a warning, and the other Clan forced to sit in the dark; she didn't understand why StarClan would choose AshClan over PeakClan.

_Has PeakClan fallen from favor again? _She wondered. _They've been moving back to the old Clan ways, or so I've heard...Stonestar is very adamant about that. But, if so, shouldn't StarClan be pleased? Why not give them the prophecy?_

She sighed; she wasn't likely to get an answer out of any of the journeying cats, except perhaps Bluepaw, and she had a feeling that ditzy Bluepaw wouldn't be much help.

_Maybe Chillpaw knows, _she thought sleepily as she laid down, hearing the rest of her companions settling down ahead of her. _He was kind of helpful when it came to my dreams...I wonder how much Dark Forest cats know about prophecies? I guess I can't ask him tonight, though, since I kind of promised that I'd take a break..._She yawned. _I wonder if he knows how things are back in AshClan? I'd really like to ask him about that..._

**AN: All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you'd better run, better outrun my gun~**

**Yep. A song about some kid shooting other kids is what I needed to write the last few days. Sad, mm?**

**So sorry this update is late! It's been nearly two weeks or something, so you all have my permission to berate me for my schedule slippage. I'm sorry. Writing has just been really _hard_ the last week or so; I'd sit down at my computer and get like five lines down and then I would just suddenly hate everything I had ever written and then I would retreat to the far corners of the internets and cower in my own authorly self loathing. **

**And then this chapter turned out a lot longer than I was expecting...kind of. Originally I wanted a lot more to happen, but that would have made it absolutely ginormous to incorporate all I had planned, and it simply wasn't practical...ugh. Sorry sorry.**


	20. C h a p t e r 19

**AN: Again, Jay and Soot are _cousins. _And, again, although that doesn't matter to actual feral cats, it does matter to me, so JayxSoot or RobinxSpider (or, heck, JayxSpider or RobinxSoot xD) are not going to happen. It's not often that I confirm/deny pairings flat-out, so be satisfied with that. :p**

**C _h a p t e r _19**

Spiderpaw's hope for Blackpaw's progress was proving to be premature. She was back to being her normal helpless, defenseless, frozen self; Spiderpaw almost wanted to swipe his claws over her face to wake her up. The only reason that he didn't was because, although he hated to admit it, she had been rather helpful with his Jaggedclaw problem.

She was lying on the ground, her ebony pelt tinted silver by the moonlight, panting slightly; her pink stuck seemed almost to be sticking out, taunting him.

"Get up," he snapped, flicking his tail sharply.

"But I'm so tired," Blackpaw moaned, shifting her weight so that she was lying on her side. "We've been doing this every night...can't we just take a little break?"

"If you improving, I'd be glad to give you the night off, but you're not," he growled. "Every time it seems like you're getting better, the next time you're even worse!"

Her ears flattened. "I just don't have a knack for it, like you do. It's harder for me, and it's just taking me a bit longer."

"You've been training for over six moons! I bet even Bluepaw would be a better fighter than you if she was given that amount of time!"

Her gaze dropped down to her paws. "I know it's taking me a long time, and I'm sorry for that. But I'm not really that bad."

"Yeah, you are," he growled, his tail flicking from side to side with irritation. "It's like you're not even making an effort tonight."

"I am making an effort!" she said defensively. "I told you, I'm just tired. Can't we take a break? Just for tonight?"

His green eyes narrowed. "Are you going to take breaks in the middle of a battle, too? I suppose the enemy warrior who has his claws on your throat is going to be completely willing to take a time out? 'Sure, we can pick this up in a minute. Rest, catch your breath, and _then _I can kill you.'"

She frowned at him. "You know I don't mean that. I just think a little break would be nice, don't you? I know you're tired too, you're not immune. Besides, we could still hang out, and share prey and stuff like that."

He rolled his eyes. "Right. Because that worked _so_ well earlier."

Her ears flattened again. "Fireblaze won't bother you now that Jaggedclaw is feeling better."

Spiderpaw snorted. "The odds of Jaggedclaw actually getting his paws dirty right about now aren't exactly high. He's not magically cured, or anything. It's going to take a long time for him to push himself into anything more than a walk to the river and back. You're naive if you think that Fireblaze will let this stupid grudge thing just go away, even with Jaggedclaw on my side."

"He's not really such a bad cat...he's just protective," she mewed timidly. Spiderpaw rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. Protective. If he had his way, you'd be cooped up in a little den so that you couldn't be running off with oh-so-terrible cats like me." He rolled his eyes. "Your brother's nothing but a stuck-up furball."

"Please don't insult him," she said quietly. "I love Fireblaze very much; I know he's not perfect, but no one really is."

"Yeah, you're right about that," Spiderpaw growled, allowing his irritation to boil over. "Like you, for example. You can't see that your brother is a rancid piece of foxdung, and you're not brave enough to stand up for yourself. You'd rather let him boss you around so that you don't have to fight anyone. And when I'm spending all my time trying to help you out, all you want to do it take breaks."

"Spiderpaw, I'm doing the best that I can!" she exclaimed, her golden eyes brimming with hurt. "This isn't as easy for me as it is for you. I'm not a born fighter. I'm trying to learn, I really am, but sometimes you're so difficult, it's hard...And leave Fireblaze out of this. He has nothing to do with any of this."

Spiderpaw's eyes gleamed, as an idea occurred to him. "Right," he said sarcastically. "Fireblaze has absolutely nothing to do with how you won't even lift a paw to defend yourself. And I'm sure Fireblaze has nothing to do with why you failed to become a warrior." He laughed quietly. "It's almost pitiable, how easily I beat you. Do you remember, huh? Do you remember when you were easily beaten by the youngest apprentice in the Clan?"

She stared down at her paws. "Spiderpaw, stop it. We shouldn't be fighting, not over something stupid like this. I didn't deserve to be a warrior; you were better than me, that's true, but..." There was a slight tremor in her voice.

"Didn't deserve to be a warrior? How about didn't even deserve to become an apprentice?" he sneered. "I bet a newborn kit could beat you...probably because you'd do something stupid, like call for a break. Or, maybe you'd just run away! That's all you seem to be content with during our training sessions. You either let me knock you to the ground, or you just dodge. You never try to fight back. What's the matter, Blackpaw? You scared?"

"I'm leaving now, Spiderpaw. You're obviously cranky; we can talk more tomorrow, after you've had some sleep," Blackpaw said; her voice trembling, and she took a step forward, but he let out a quiet growl.

"No, Blackpaw, you're not the one who's leaving. _I'm _leaving. You're not worth my time. You're a loser, a nobody; you'll never become a warrior because you're too afraid to try. I'm sick of your brother following me around, and tired of you getting me into trouble. We'll be denmates, and Clanmates, but we'll never be friends or training partners. I don't have time to play around here with you. I'm going to be a powerful warrior, and I'm going to leave you and your piece-of-foxdung brother behind."

He turned away, taking a step towards the woods, before glancing over his shoulder with a smirk on his muzzle; he saw the pain in Blackpaw's eyes, and he felt a twinge of guilt, but pushed it aside.

"Oh, and by the way?" he leered. "I lied when I said I didn't think you were pathetic. I was hoping that you might be more inspired, and actually try to train...but I guess I was wrong. You're pathetic, Blackpaw. You're more than pathetic, really. If I had my way, AshClan would have never let you, your filthy brother, or your mouse-brained mother into our Clan. You disgust me."

With that, he turned away, padding towards the edge of the Moss Clearing, heading in the direction of camp; the leer slide from his muzzle as he did so, once Blackpaw could no longer see his face. Somehow, it didn't feel natural to sneer at the ebony-furred she-cat, although he knew it was necessary.

He heard her paws brushing the ground half a second before her paws hit his back. He was sent sprawling, tumbling head over tail until he came to a stop with her paws against his shoulder. She glared down at him, yellow eyes blazing.

He didn't move, and for a long moment they simply stared at one another; when he continued to be silent, the anger in her eyes slowly faded, replaced by concern.

"Are you okay?" she asked, a touch of anxiety in her voice. "Spiderpaw, are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

She backed off, but he still didn't move; part of him was still frozen in shock that she had actually attacked him. That had been the entire point of his verbal attack, of course, but it had still been jarring to see the mixture of pain and rage in Blackpaw's eyes.

"Did I hurt you?" she asked again, her fur slightly ruffled. "Oh, just stay there, okay? Don't move. I'll go get Shimmerfrost, she'll patch you right up-"

"I wouldn't recommend that," he said finally. "She's liable to bite your face off at this hour."

Blackpaw blinked at him cautiously, as if he might be angry that she had tackled him. "You're sure you're okay?"

Then, Spiderpaw did something that surprised them both: he smiled.

"Better than okay," he purred. "That was good, Blackpaw."

She flushed underneath her fur, ears flattening. "Sorry about that...I didn't mean to get so angry, I just sort of...lost control there for a moment. I'm really sorry, I would never hurt you on purpose."

Spiderpaw rolled his eyes. "Quit apologizing; didn't I just say that was good? I was starting to think that you didn't have a temper at all. I'm glad I was wrong about that."

Blackpaw allowed herself to beam for a moment, before a wide yawn shook her entire body. She blinked at him, looking sleepy, and Spiderpaw sighed.

"We can take off the rest of tonight, if you're going to be such a kit about it," he grumbled, the smile finally disappearing. Blackpaw let out a quiet purr.

"Thanks, Spiderpaw, I appreciate it!" she chirped, twitching her tail at him as she started towards camp. Then, she paused, and looked over her shoulder at him. "And, just so you know, I'm fine if you make fun of me. I know I deserve it most of the time. You're hard on me, and that's good, because it's the only way I'll ever get better. But _please _keep my brother and my mother out of it."

"And just so _you _know, everything I said about your brother is completely true," he said with a grin. "But the stuff I said about Petalcloud...well. She's okay, I guess...for an overbearing mentor."

Blackpaw's whiskers twitched. "She can be a bit...concerned, I guess. But that's what I love about her. So, please..." She yawned again, twitching her whiskers at him once more. "Night, Spiderpaw."

With that, she sprang forward, quickly disappearing into the dark undergrowth; Spiderpaw had to admit that she was fast. He sighed quietly, looking up at the sky; the moon hung above his head, shining brightly; tomorrow night would be the half moon.

_Shimmerfrost will be going to the Pool of Stars tomorrow night, then...alone, _he thought, and felt a twinge of sorrow. He dug his claws into the mossy ground. _StarClan, please watch over Bluepaw for me...she's the only real friend I have, and I don't want anything to happen to her...I mean, I know we can't ever...be a thing, with her being a medicine cat and all, but...I really like her. Don't let anything bad happen to her._

He let out a soft sigh, giving his head a small shake. _Blackpaw will be wondering why I'm not back yet, _he thought, and padded out of the clearing, feeling the soft moss give way to crackling leaves underneath his paws. He found himself smiling again, and frowned; it wasn't a good habit for him to pick up. After all, Jaggedclaw practically never smiled, and he was a well-respected warrior.

_Or, at least, he was, _Spiderpaw couldn't help but think. _And he will be again._

The wind rustled the branches above his head, and he couldn't help but flinch; the sound was too close to paws crunching over leaves. Normally he didn't mind being out at night, but alone...that was something else. He shivered as a cool breeze ran over his fur.

_At least we made some progress, with Blackpaw. For awhile there I was afraid that she didn't have a backbone at all, that she really was just a squishy blob of simpering. I guess I'm glad that's not the case. Hopefully now we can make some _real _progress._

He scowled. _It sounds like I'm going to be busy all the time now...I've got to train Blackpaw, keep out of Fireblaze's way, help Jaggedclaw with his recovery, make sure Redpaw isn't spying on me – that won't be hard, at least, he's a complete idiot – and keep an eye on Leopardpaw to make sure she isn't up to anything. Oh, and figuring out who stole my moss. At least I know it wasn't Bluepaw or Jaypaw now, since they're on the journey...or Sootpaw, Reedrush, or Thistlethorn, I guess, although I didn't think they'd do it anyway._

He suddenly felt rather weary; all this stuff – plus his training with Petalcloud – would surely be wearing on him. Then, his eyes narrowed, flashing with determination. _I can handle all this stuff easily, StarClan – are you listening? Heap all you want on me, none of it will be a problem. I'm going to be the best warrior ever. I'm going to handle anything you throw at me. Got it?_

. . .

He was jostled roughly awake, as a cat stumbled into him; he opened his eyes to see Redpaw smirking down at him.

"Oops, I tripped," the ginger tabby meowed with a contemptuous grin. "Wow, Spiderpaw, you look tired. Been staying up at night? Wondering why your sister disappeared? Or thinking about how puny you are?"

Spiderpaw let out a hiss, preparing to feel the usual blaze of anger, but found that he was too tired for such apprentice nonsense. He settled for a glare instead. Redpaw seemed surprised, but apparently the dim tom thought that it meant Spiderpaw had acknowledge his superiority; the flame-coated apprentice left the apprentice den with a definite swagger.

"What a furball," Robinpaw meowed beside him; his gaze flicked towards her, but she was pointedly not looking at him, speaking to a half-asleep Blackpaw instead. Blackpaw murmured her groggy agreement, before turning over; Spiderpaw heard her breathing steady as she slipped back to sleep.

"You can't pretend I'm not here," he growled, but Robinpaw continued to ignore him, leaving the den. Spiderpaw glanced at Blackpaw again, but she was obviously asleep; he sighed to himself, and stretched. He was too awake now to go back to sleep, but still too sleepy to be fully awake.

"Spiderpaw, are you still in here?" Petalcloud asked, peeking into the den. "What are you doing, sleepypaws? Come on, we've got training to do." She flicked her tail at him.

He rose to his paws slowly, and she blinked as she realized how tired he looked. "Are you okay? Didn't you take a day off yesterday?"

"Yeah, I did, but things were busier than I expected," he meowed. It was only sort of a lie.

"Well, it can't be helped; we can't stop training," she said, but she looked worried as she glanced him over. "We'll take it easy today, okay?"

He shook his head, feeling faintly irritated by her hovering. "I'm fine, okay? Just tired, but it's not a problem. I can still train like anyone else."

She surprised him by touching his shoulder with her nose. "Just don't push yourself too hard, okay?" she mewed. "The whole world doesn't rest on your shoulders, you know. Apprentices always seem to feel that way...I remember those days, even though I was only a kittypet." Her eyes seemed distant for a moment, as she was drawn into a memory of long-ago time.

_Probably a time when her friend Swansong was still alive...and before she met Blackpaw and Fireblaze, I'd guess, _he thought.

Petalcloud blinked, and seemed to come back to herself; she gave herself a little shake, before flicking her feathery-furred tail. "Come on, let's go. I think we need some battle training."

"That wasn't our deal, remember? I agreed to learn the boring hunting stuff, and you said I could pick whoever I wanted to teach me battle training," he pointed out.

"Yes, that was the deal," she admitted, "but the only cat that you want to help you with that is Stormshadow, right? And he already told me that he said no. I was hoping you'd pick someone else, so I waited for a bit, but that obviously hasn't happened. We can't neglect that part of your training just because you think I'm not a good enough fighter to help you, Spiderpaw."

_I'm getting a lot more training than you think...and Blackpaw is too, _he thought, but he knew it would be foolish to say so out loud. He wasn't sure if Petalcloud would approve of their training, but he knew it didn't matter; even if he told her not to, she would eventually let something slip to Fireblaze, and he would figure everything out. Spiderpaw could only imagine what that confrontation would be like.

"Whatever," was all he said; Petalcloud peered at him for a moment, as if suspicious, but when he said nothing more, she simply shrugged.

"Let's go," she mewed, and he followed her silently out of camp.

. . .

"Okay, now come at me," Petalcloud ordered. Spiderpaw watched her cautiously.

"Just charge you, or what?" he asked, and she shrugged.

"Whatever you feel like doing," she meowed. "I know you've been sparring a lot with the older apprentices, and I'm curious to see what you've picked up by spending time with them."

Spiderpaw watched her, eyes narrowed slightly as he formulated his plan. Petalcloud was fast, he knew that, so anything he did would have to catch her off guard quite a bit to even have a chance of succeeding.

_Alright, let's try this, _he thought, and charged forward. Petalcloud settled into a familiar stance as he approached her, and his eyes gleamed; he knew the stance well. It was good for anticipating solid hits, but the way her paws were spread meant that she could be unbalanced easily.

He quickly changed directions, springing to the left; she shifted to compensate, only to blink as he moved to the right, paws outstretched. Petalcloud grinned, and sprang into the air; she was even faster than he had thought. His paws grasped nothing but air. He landed easily, spinning to spring at her again, only to find that she had moved once more; she was behind him now. He only had time to realize that fact before he found his muzzle pressed up against the ground, her paws on his back and a purr in his ears.

"Nice try, but just a hair too slow," she meowed, letting him up. "It was also somewhat predictable; as soon as you moved towards the left, I knew you weren't going to stay that way; I still had time to react to that strike, so obviously you were going to attempt to change directions. Good thinking, though; I'm sure it works very well on the other apprentices. Most of them aren't ready to adapt to their opponents' movements yet."

Spiderpaw shook his sleek coat. "Okay, so what move are you going to show me to beat my opponents when they guess my moves?"

Her amber eyes glimmered with amusement. "There's no magical move that I can teach you so that you can beat everyone," she laughed. "Usually mentors wait a little longer to introduce this idea to their apprentices, but I think you're ready, don't you? Your pool of moves is relatively small, but you have remarkable ingenuity."

He cocked his head to the side, mystified. "What idea are you talking about?"

She laughed quietly again. "It's kind of a big idea, I suppose...basically, the moves you use in a battle don't matter."

His eyes widened. "What are you talking about? That doesn't make any sense."

She chuckled. "It probably doesn't, not to you, but I have faith that you'll understand. I'll explain it as best I can. Basically, in a battle you can use any move you like. You could use the back kick like I tried to teach you before – do you remember that? You could use that move as many times as you wanted, over and over, and still win the battle."

"There's no way," he objected. "Your opponent is going to figure that out, and expect it. They'll avoid it and hit you with a counter-strike easily."

She shook her head. "Not so. You can use the same move over and over as many times as you like; you just have to adapt it to the situation at paw, do you see? For example, when you charged at me, you could have simply stayed the course and attack me. I would have dodged it, of course, since it's fairly predictable. However, you changed it up; you moved in different directions hoping to confuse me. That's what I'm talking about, Spiderpaw. It's not how many moves you know, it's how you _use _them that really counts." She sighed softly. "I'm afraid that's why Blackpaw has so much trouble. She knows all the moves, she's learned them and committed them to memory; it's _using _them that's really hard for her. It's not that she's unintelligent, she just has a hard time dealing with moves on the fly, so to speak; she's bad at predicting the movements of others. She's fast enough to compensate for that, but sometimes she just shuts down...but that's neither here nor there. The important thing is that you need to understand this idea. I could teach you moves all day long, but until you learned how to really use them, they're meaningless."

He was starting to get a glimmer of what she was talking about. "So, you aren't going to teach me more moves?"

She shook her head. "I'll leave that to the other apprentices, or the warrior that you want to train you, as we agreed to before; who you learn the moves from is your choice. It is the techniques of using them and adapting that I will show you. I'll teach you how to take advantage of your slim build and speed."

He bristled slightly. "I won't be small forever."

Her eyes gentled. "Perhaps not. Either way, it's useful to know; if you do grow, you can adapt these techniques into those a larger cat would use, and you'll already know how smaller cats plan their attacks."

He nodded slowly; he had no intention of being a runt forever, but it made sense to learn the techniques of a smaller cat, so that when he fought one he would be able to predict their actions that much more easily.

"Okay," he meowed. "Show me what to do."

She grinned at him. "That's just it; I'm not showing you anything. You're showing me what _you _can come up with." She crouched again, flicking her tail at him. "Show me what you've got."

He paused to think for only a moment, before racing forward, pulling the same move he had last time, zigzagging from the left to the right. Petalcloud reacted just as he had expected, leaping into the air to avoid his blow; she was caught off guard when he jumped higher than she'd expected, aiming for her in the air.

They collided, and he unsheathed his claws for only a moment to grip her fur as she landed on her paws; he nipped her ear, but not too roughly. He felt her muscles moving underneath his paws as she reared onto her back legs, struggling to keep her balance.

The only way to get rid of an enemy clinging to her back was for Petalcloud to fall backwards; Spiderpaw knew that he would be crushed if he hung on, and he hoped that she wouldn't be able to recover her paws in time. He sprang to the ground and turned, feeling quite smug, only for his eyes to widen as he saw that she had not fallen backwards as he'd expected, but had rather managed to keep her balance as he leaped off of her. She moved towards her now, teetering on her back legs and falling forward with full force; he tried to move out of the way but was unsuccessful, and found himself with his nose pressed into the dirt.

"Good try," she mewed, letting him back to his paws and giving herself a good shake. "Try not to use your claws next time, okay?"

Spiderpaw struggled to his paws, panting, feeling his weariness sweep over him. _If I'd been well-rested, I probably could have reacted in time, _he thought with an irritated growl. Still, he had to admit that Petalcloud had been smart to predict that he would leap off and leave himself open to attack.

Petalcloud let out a quiet purr. "Don't just stand there, Spiderpaw, we don't have all day! Don't tell me you're bored already?"

Spiderpaw crouched again, thousands of possible actions rushing through his mind, and he smiled. _With so many possibilities, how could I ever be bored?_

_. . ._

He entered camp with Petalcloud, feeling stiff; it was as if he had aged five years during their training session. His paws felt as heavy as stone, and he lugged himself towards the fresh-kill pile slowly.

Glancing around camp, he spotted Robinpaw and Blackpaw, apparently sharing tongues; Blackpaw blinked at him, eyes twinkling. Robinpaw stared at him for a long moment, her green eyes unreadable, before surprising him with a small smile.

He frowned, puzzled. _Just this morning, she was as prickly as a thorn bush? What's with the smiling, huh? What's she up to?_

Blackpaw rose to her paws and trotted over to him; she licked one paw and then rubbed it over his shoulder, flattening a patch of fur that had been sticking up.

"What are you doing?" he snapped, pulling away and looking over his shoulder. "Do you want Redpaw or Fireblaze to see?"

"They're both hunting," she replied mildly. "I think they took Leopardpaw with them too, so there's no real danger of him finding out. Robinpaw won't tell."

Spiderpaw gave Robinpaw a suspicious squint; she was still lying down, and she gave him another little smile. "What's up with her, huh? One minute she's acting as if I don't exist, the next she's smiling at me?"

Blackpaw blinked at him innocently. "I don't know what you mean." There was a twinkle in her golden eyes that made him feel faintly uneasy, but he pushed the feeling away; Blackpaw was hardly the devious sort, after all. She was usually as easy for him to read as a badger's trail.

"Right," he said slowly, before flicking his gaze around camp once more, just in case any ginger-furred toms decided to appear. "Well, er, I'm going to go and eat with Jaggedclaw," he meowed, side-stepping her. She frowned at him.

"Can't we eat together?" she asked.

"Yeah, because that worked out _so _well last time," he meowed with a roll of his eyes. Blackpaw's ears flattened, but she nodded.

"You're right, I guess. Oh well. See you around." She nosed his shoulder, before trotting back to Robinpaw. Spiderpaw watched the two she-cats giggle for a moment – what exactly did they find so humorous, anyway? - before padding towards the elders den.

Jaggedclaw was awake, his amber eye shining brightly in the dim light. "Hello, Spiderpaw."

Spiderpaw smiled; the older tom sounded happy, for once. "Hey," he said, and gave a casual flick of his tail. "Hungry?"

Jaggedclaw looked wary. "Yes."

"Well, come on then! I'm not going to bring it to you," he said. "You're not helpless anymore, remember?"

Jaggedclaw's eye narrowed. "I was never _helpless,_" he growled, but even his growl didn't seem as sharp as before. "Besides, it's...a rather long way."

Spiderpaw glanced over his shoulder. "Only about ten steps, I'd say."

"Which is more than I managed for all of yesterday," the scarred tom said.

"Well, all the more reason for you to try; you can see if you can beat your record," Spiderpaw replied with a quiet purr. "Come on, it's nothing to be scared of."

He got the desired result, as Jaggedclaw's fur ruffled. "Better watch your tongue, scraplet. I'm not scared of anything."

Spiderpaw blinked at the unfamiliar term. "Scraplet?"

Jaggedclaw seemed surprised to hear the word come from his own mouth. "It's what we called kits, back where I grew up."

"Where did you come from, anyway?" Spiderpaw asked eagerly, but Jaggedclaw ignored the question by heaving himself to his paws.

"You ate your herbs, right?" Spiderpaw questioned, feeling as suddenly uneasy as he always did whenever the large tabby rose to his feet; there was something incredibly unnerving about having to crane his neck just to look into Jaggedclaw's face.

"Of course," he growled in reply, taking a moment to stretch, letting out a deep sigh as the stiffness was pulled from his muscles.

Spiderpaw stepped to the side to give him more room; slowly, carefully, the tom made his way out of the den, blinking in the bright sunlight.

He was quiet for a long moment, before he began limping towards the fresh-kill pile. Spiderpaw hovered alongside him, hoping he wouldn't falter or stumble; Jaggedclaw would squash him like a bug.

Jaggedclaw lowered himself down gingerly, wrapping his tail around his paws and selecting a mouse. He stared down at it for a moment, a small smile creeping over his muzzle.

"What are you smiling about?" Spiderpaw asked curiously, lying down beside him. Jaggedclaw's eye flicked towards him quickly.

"Nothing," he said quietly, but his gaze didn't move away; Spiderpaw felt faintly unnerved by the thoughtfulness in Jaggedclaw's amber eye.

"You don't think about feeling the sunshine on your pelt, do you?" he asked softly. "You don't think about sitting down without pain, taking a few steps without help...it would never occur to you to feel grateful about such things. You're young. You expect them."

"Yeah, I guess," Spiderpaw said uncertainly.

"It's been a long time since I expected any of those," Jaggedclaw said, tilting his muzzle slightly to feel the gentle breeze caress his fur. He was silent a moment, before shaking his head. "Sorry. I've been thinking a lot lately. There isn't much else for me to do." He took a bite of his fresh-kill, chewing it slowly.

"It's okay," Spiderpaw said, feeling awkward; he wasn't sure how to comfort the older tom, if he even needed comfort at all.

He watched Jaggedclaw eat, then rise slowly to his paws; Spiderpaw followed suit quickly.

"I'll get your moss, if you want," he offered, but Jaggedclaw shook his head.

"There's no reason to send you out again," he meowed, then stumbled; Spiderpaw's eyes widened as he realized that the scarred tom was about to fall over. He moved forwards to help, only to find that Jaggedclaw was flanked by two she-cats.

"Got you," Blackpaw purred, bracing herself against Jaggedclaw's side, holding him up.

"Don't worry," Robinpaw said cheerfully. "I need help getting around all the time because of my leg, and I don't even have the excuse of it being a cool war wound."

Jaggedclaw looked embarrassed, but he didn't say anything until he reached his den; he muttered a quiet apology, and the two she-cats smiled.

"No problem," Robinpaw purred. Then, she turned her green eyes on Spiderpaw; he stiffened with surprise as she gave him a smile as well.

"You haven't eaten yet," she observed. "The three of us can share a meal."

Spiderpaw glanced towards Blackpaw, bemused, but she appeared distracted.

"It might not be such a good idea for me; I'm pretty sure Fireblaze will be getting back soon," she meowed. "I'll eat with him. You two have fun, though." She flicked her tail at the two of them, before padding away; Robinpaw and Spiderpaw atared at one another again.

"Er, I'll talk to you later, I guess," Spiderpaw said to Jaggedclaw, who only twitched his whiskers at him.

Robinpaw limped towards the prey pile with a bounce to her step; she picked out a thrush, and he followed her to the edge of camp.

"So, how are you?" she asked with a grin. "How's your training going, huh?"

He stared at her, and hesitantly took a bite of the thrush; she didn't object, and his eyes narrowed.

_Something's going on here, _he thought suspiciously.

"What's Blackpaw been telling you?" he growled. Robinpaw giggled.

"Oh, nothing," she purred. "I understand though, it's okay. Jaypaw probably wouldn't let you off so easy, but he's off being a big-shot hero, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" Spiderpaw asked, but Robinpaw wasn't paying attention.

"Hey, Darkstorm!" she exclaimed, rising to her paws; Spiderpaw turned to see the black tom hovering near the warrior den. He appeared groggy, as if he had just woken up from a nap.

"Um, hello," he said, a note of anxiety in his voice; he glanced towards Spiderpaw, and shivered. Spiderpaw bristled, but didn't say anything; he wasn't sure why Robinpaw was being nice to him, but he didn't want to jeopardize it by yelling at her father.

"What are you doing? Do you want to go on patrol? We could hunt together," Robinpaw said eagerly. Darkstorm's eyes darted around, as if trying to look anywhere but his daughter's face.

"Uh, maybe," he said, edging back towards the warrior den. "We should do that at, um, some moment in time. Like, maybe tomorrow. But I've got some sleep to catch up on...been staying up really late, working hard as a warrior, doing patrols and stuff...you know how it is..." He quickly disappeared.

Spiderpaw looked towards Robinpaw; she looked downcast as she picked at their thrush. Spiderpaw wasn't quite sure what to say.

"To answer your question earlier, my training is going pretty well," he said awkwardly. "Petalcloud's been teaching me some interesting techniques."

"Yeah," she said, looking at her paws and pushing the thrush towards him. "Well, that's good."

She seemed downcast; he really didn't want to inquire about her daddy-issues, but he figured he had no choice; Blackpaw would berate him later if he didn't.

"What's up between you and Darkstorm?" he asked, his question half a resigned sigh.

"Nothing," she said softly, making designs in the dust with one claw. "I mean, I'm not mad at him or anything. I get it. He doesn't really like me all that much."

"Because of his kit-thing?" Spiderpaw inquired. _That's probably why he never looks at me, either. I'm still small enough to be a kit,_ he thought with a curl of his lip.

"No, not really. I'm big enough that I don't freak him out too much anymore," she meowed. "I think it's my leg. He was the only one in camp when I fell, you know, and everyone kind of blamed him for awhile...I heard that he ran off right after it happened, to go hide near GreenRocks because he thought everyone would be mad at him."

"Are you?"

"Mad at him? No. I can't even really remember the accident...I mean, I kind of remember being up somewhere really high, and then I remember falling...the sky was spinning, it seemed like...sometimes it was between my paws and sometimes it was over my head. I don't remember anything more than that...but I do remember the fire. Sometimes I can remember the way the smoke scorched my throat, and the crackling heat all around me...and I remember that he saved me. He was terrified of me, but he risked his life anyway to help me." Her gaze was slightly misty as she blinked up at the sky; Spiderpaw wondered if she really was remembering the fire.

"I don't get it, then. Why would he still feel guilty over your leg? You'd be dead if it wasn't for him."

She shrugged. "I don't know. Mother says he's prone to feeling guilty...she says he has self-esteem issues, or something. I try to hang out with him when I can, but most of the time he avoids me...Jaypaw doesn't like him much for that reason."

Spiderpaw snorted. "Jaypaw doesn't like anyone that looks at you the wrong way."

She let out a quiet purr. "Yeah, that's true. He and Fireblaze are alike in that manner, I guess...but Jaypaw doesn't really seek revenge like Fireblaze does, I guess...and Jaypaw is never angry when anyone does anything to him; it's only when I'm threatened. Which is kind of nice, because I know I'll always have someone to depend on, but I guess at the same time it's kind of a pain...he's always hovering over me, like he's afraid I'm going to break another leg, or something."

Spiderpaw saw ginger fur out of the corner of his eye; he turned slightly, eyes narrowing as he saw Fireblaze, Redpaw, and Leopardpaw enter camp. Leopardpaw was looking smug, her jaws full of prey, and he let out a quiet hiss of dislike.

Blackpaw bounced up to her brother immediately, and Spiderpaw guessed from the way that the ginger tom puffed his chest out that he was bragging about his own hunting prowess. He felt a prickle of envy.

_Were Sootpaw and I that close? _He wondered. _I mean, I didn't always defend her...except for that one time when Fireblaze was 'training' us. But she always put up with my bragging and listened to me when I needed to complain...I miss her. _His ears flattened as he realized that he was half hoping that Northstar would return with Sootpaw in tow.

_I know she thinks she has some big destiny...but she still thinks like a kit. She's naive and trusting and can't even fight or catch her own prey. I shouldn't have let her go. Eaglestrike would flay me if he ever found out that I did..._

"What's the matter?" Robinpaw asked, poking his shoulder.

"Nothing," he lied, taking a bite of the thrush, chewing while staring at his paws.

"Look, I didn't mean to make this awkward," Robinpaw meowed. "I was just thinking that we could talk about our training, and stuff like that...to let this grudge go. I was really glad when Blackpaw said that you were sorry."

Spiderpaw nearly choked on his thrush. "She said what?"

Robinpaw laughed. "Don't be embarrassed! I won't tell anyone. I know that you have your weird craving-respect thing, and that you're too embarrassed to actually apologize. Blackpaw told me all about it. And, honestly, I'm tired of pretending to be mad at you to get you to apologize anyway; that's good enough for me."

Spiderpaw turned, staring at Fireblaze and Blackpaw; he attempted to glare fiercely enough that Blackpaw would turn around, but she didn't appear to notice. Fireblaze, however, did; he seemed to think that Spiderpaw was glaring at him, and he matched it with his own fiery gaze.

Spiderpaw looked away quickly, scowling down at the half-eaten thrush.

"I bet Fireblaze would like you more if you apologized to him, too," Robinpaw meowed.

"No way," he spat. "I'm never apologizing to that stuck-up furball. I didn't do anything wrong anyway. Even Blackpaw agrees."

Robinpaw shrugged. "I'm just trying to help." Her eyes darted towards the warrior den; Spiderpaw followed her gaze, and saw that Darkstorm was peeking out of the warrior den, as if checking to see if it was safe to come out.

"You can finish that," Robinpaw meowed, flicking her tail at the thrush, before springing to her paws and bouncing towards the dark tom; he looked almost panicked as he searched for an escape, but there was nowhere for him to go.

Spiderpaw watched Robinpaw nudge Darkstorm playfully, trying to get him to move towards the camp entrance, before flicking his gaze to Jaggedclaw; the scarred tom was staring out of the elders den into the forest, looking almost...wistful?

_I guess that's the next step, then, getting him out of camp, _Spiderpaw decided. _Although, we'll have to be careful. I don't want him thinking he can go after Reedrush and drag her back here himself._

He stared down at the thrush, feeling strangely lonely; he was on better terms with the other apprentices than before, but he still didn't have a friend; Bluepaw and Sootpaw were gone, Robinpaw was more interested in following Darkstorm around, and Blackpaw couldn't hang out with him so long as Fireblaze was around.

He fixed the ginger tom with his green eyes thoughtfully. _I suppose we'll have to do something about that. _

**AN: Spider seems to be really good at pushing buttons to get results. Petalcloud, Jaggedclaw, Blackpaw...who's next? Robinpaw? Stormshadow? Silverstar? The possibilities are endless. :O**


	21. C h a p t e r 20

**C _h a p t e r _20**

Jaypaw's quiet coughs rang out in the tunnels; the rest of the group was silent, not wanting to admit the thoughts that were floating through their minds. Jaypaw was sick, that much was certain; the only question was how sick he was.

_Please, StarClan, don't let him have the chilling disease, _Sootpaw prayed. _He's a good cat, he doesn't deserve it...not that Silverstar did, of course, or those other PeakClan cats...I really want to go on this journey, you know that, but not at the cost of one of my Clanmates..._She couldn't quite finish the thought, couldn't make herself say 'dying,' even when it was only in her head. It had been bad enough to lose Silverstar, and Silverstar still had several lives left to lose; Jaypaw only had one, and she couldn't imagine waking up in the apprentice den without him or any of the other apprentices.

_I guess that's our responsibility though, isn't it? We're the ones that chose to come on this journey. The rest of the Clan is depending on us now, because no one else can save them. If we succeed, we're heroes. If we fail...we cause the downfall of the Clans._

"It's not much farther now," Northstar said softly; he was the first to speak in hours, since about the time that they had gotten up. Sootpaw wondered what time it was; there was no way to tell in the belly of the mountains, of course, but her stomach was rumbling loudly; she guessed it was around sun-high above ground.

"Good, I'm tired of running into Rainwind, and I'm sure he's tired of it too!" Rabbitleap joked; her cheery tone seemed oddly out of place in the darkness, bouncing off of invisible walls and smothering the sounds of Jaypaw's quiet coughing.

The tunnel felt as if it was sloping upwards; that was nothing unusual, since it had been sloping upwards and downwards ever since they entered it, but Sootpaw fervently hoped that this time it meant they were close to the exit. It was chilly in the tunnels, where light had never warmed the dark stone, and even after Moonpaw had reassured her that she was safe, she couldn't feel but help uneasy when she looked up and saw inky blackness instead of the comforting lights of stars.

It took her a moment to realize that the tunnel seemed grayer than before; as they continued, the shades of grayness became lighter and lighter, and her heart rose as she realized they really were nearing the end.

"It will be very bright," Northstar warned. "Your eyes will need time to adjust properly."

Sootpaw was only half-listening; it was all she could do not to leap over Reedrush's head and charge over the rest of the party. Anything would be better than being stuck in the darkness.

Finally, she saw it, the shining mouth of the tunnel; Reedrush was in her way at first, blocking most of the light with her body, but then suddenly Reedrush had moved to the side and Sootpaw was outside and there was a cold breeze brushing her fur and the light was-

_Oh! _

Northstar hadn't been kidding; the sunlight was so bright that it felt as if it was sinking its claws into her eyes. She closed them quickly, lowering her head and giving herself a good shake. She couldn't imagine being a FrozenClan cat, always walking on the edge between the darkness and the light.

It was several minutes before she could open her eyes again; when she did, she gasped at the breath-taking view before them, and she saw that she was not alone.

The entire valley spread out before them, sheltered by the gray mountains; she could see the bountiful forest, the dark marsh, the white sands that bordered the...she couldn't even remember the word at first.

_Ocean, _she thought, almost reverently; the word seemed to perfectly capture the beauty in the rolling waves that she saw before her. They were far away, but she thought she could see the white crests of the waves, the sun glinting over the water, seabirds calling loudly as they looked for tasty fish.

It was one of the most amazing things she had ever seen.

"Pretty, isn't it?" Reedrush asked softly, touching Sootpaw's flank with her tail. Sootpaw blinked up at the silver tabby, and realized that she looked a little bit sad.

"This is where I would have grown up, if my mother hadn't taken me away," Reedrush mewed. "But...I suppose I'm glad she did, or I wouldn't have met your mother, or anyone else in the Clan...well, I might have met them in battle, but that definitely wouldn't have been a good thing."

Northstar was looking impatient. "We can't stand here and gawk at the view. There will be plenty of time for that later. Right now, we need to tell Tremor and his cats that we're here."

"Where do you think they are?" Rainwind wondered. "A lot of them are FrozenClan cats, so they might be at your old camp..."

Northstar shook his head. "It was TalonClan's camp too, and I'm sure many of them would prefer to forget those times now."

He glanced upwards, frowning to himself. "Checking FrozenClan's camp would be the smartest idea, but it's a bit of a trek for untrained cats like yourselves."

"We live on the Peak," Brackenpaw reminded his father somewhat timidly. "We're used to that sort of thing."

Northstar glanced at him. "You're used to walking well-traveled paths, not up cliff faces," he replied. "I'll go up by myself, and return if there is any sign of them there."

Sootpaw was uneasy with Northstar leaving the rest of them behind in unknown territory, but she rationalized that it probably wasn't very far, and there were a good many warriors to take care of any dangerous rogues that might be passing through.

"Wait!" a deep voice rumbled, and she turned with surprise, peering downwards; her eyes widened as she saw several cats moving towards them from below. They seemed to be leaping from outcropping to outcropping, working their way up the mountain.

Northstar peered over the edge with her, his eyes narrowing with surprise; he seemed to recognize them. He flicked his tail to the rest of the group, telling them to move backwards, before stepping aside himself as the cats pulled themselves over the lip of the cliff.

"That never gets any easier, honestly," one of the cats, a slim silver tabby, meowed. Sootpaw was barely paying attention to her; her attention was focused on the large brown tom that was sizing their group up.

_Tremor, _she thought, and her gaze drifted towards the silver tabby. _So, is she Minnow?_

Minnow suddenly turned, and meowed an apology to someone that Sootpaw couldn't see; she moved to the side, and two more cats pulled themselves up, the second with the help of the first. Sootpaw blinked at the two of them – a white tom and a gray-and-white she-cat – before returning her attention to Tremor.

"Hello again, Northstar," Tremor said, dipping his head respectfully; Northstar did the same.

"How did you know we would be here?" PeakClan's deputy rumbled.

"Feather alerted me; StarClan told her in her dreams that we would be receiving visitors...although I admit this is not what I had expected. There are quite a few cats here." He turned his amber eyes on them, and Sootpaw shrank back despite herself; his eyes were kind, but he was _large, _about as large as Northstar, and almost as intimidating.

"Yes. We're not here for pleasure, of course. StarClan has sent us, but I'll get to that in a moment. These are Reedrush, Thistlethorn, Bluepaw, Jaypaw, and Sootpaw of AshClan, along with Rainwind, Rabbitleap, Brackenpaw, and Swanpaw of my own Clan."

Minnow's gaze flitted over them, stopping as she reached Sootpaw. Her eyes widened with surprise; Sootpaw stiffened, wondering if she had done something wrong, but Minnow said nothing, simply giving Tremor a nudge with her shoulder. His gaze flitted to her as well, and Sootpaw's ears flattened; she wanted to hide behind Reedrush, but didn't want to appear a coward.

"I see," Tremor said slowly, and gave the group another nod. "Well-met. What are you here for?"

Northstar quickly explained their situation, about the prophecy for the cure as well as his own smaller mission to claim the cure for the normal forest-sickness, in hopes that it could help stave off the chilling disease as well. Tremor looked interested.

"We've been having the same problems ourselves; many of the former TalonClan cats are ill. I do not know where the cure for the forest-sickness is, however," he meowed.

Northstar smiled. "Of course not. I'm the only cat alive that does...now, at least."

"Do you think that the cure for the forest-sickness will truly help?" Tremor asked. "We've received no prophecy for fighting the...chilling disease, as you call it. That's why we came here to meet you; taking you back to camp would be ill advised."

Northstar shrugged. "I'm not sure whether it will or not, but we have to try it; we don't have many other choices. We aren't sure what the prophecy means yet, so we'll need time to figure it out – or at least _they _will."

"I'm sure it won't be too hard," Bluepaw chirped. "StarClan wouldn't make a mystery that we couldn't solve."

Minnow purred quietly. "That's the spirit. Are you going to look for the forest-sickness cure right away, then?"

"I would be happy to," he answered, "but my comrades are probably hungry. They aren't used to going so long without eating."

Tremor nodded with understanding. "We can hunt for you, if you like."

"We can hunt for ourselves-" Reedrush said quickly, but Tremor shook his head.

"There's no reason to wear down your paws now; you'll need them on your journey," he purred, his voice deep and smooth. "Just wait here. Swift, come with me. Sage, you can go with Minnow."

The young gray-and-white she-cat rose to follow Tremor, while the white tom followed Minnow; they headed in opposite directions, quickly moving out of sight thanks to the jagged edges of the mountain.

"I wonder what that was about," Sootpaw mewed as she sidling up alongside Bluepaw. Bluepaw looked curious.

"What are you talking about? They just went to get us some food. I think it's rather nice of them, don't you?"

"Yeah, but that's not what I was talking about. Did you see how Minnow looked at me? And Tremor did to. It was weird." She shivered, her fur ruffling slightly.

Bluepaw shrugged. "Maybe they just think your face looks weird," she giggled, poking Sootpaw's nose playfully; Sootpaw growled and nipped her ear. Bluepaw giggled, and if it hadn't been for Northstar's stern glare, the two of them probably would have attempted to tackle one another.

Tremor's group returned a short time later, with prey in their jaws; they set it down in a small pile, and the cats quickly approached to pick out their pieces to share. Sootpaw grabbed a mouse for herself and Bluepaw, and invited Jaypaw with the flick of her ear. He padded over to them, coughing quietly.

"You feeling okay?" Bluepaw asked anxiously, touching his flank with her tail.

"Fine," he replied; his voice had a slight rasp to it. "I'm just kind of tired."

"You want some?" she asked, flicking her tail towards the mouse that she and Sootpaw were sharing. Jaypaw blinked down at it, then shook his head.

"No. Thanks, but I'm not really hungry."

Sootpaw's heart sank. "You haven't eaten in days," she pointed out. "Surely you're a little bit hungry? Just a little?"

He shook his head again, and she realized that his amber eyes looked dull and dim.

_Please don't let him be sick, _she thought again.

"Excuse me," she heard a deep voice meow; it was surprisingly soft, and when she glanced up to see who had spoken, she blinked with surprise as she stared up into a white face.

"Sorry to bother you three, but I noticed that you look a bit unwell," Sage said gently. His green eyes were gentle but concerned as he blinked down at Jaypaw.

"I'm fine," Jaypaw meowed, but the validity of his statement was hampered by another cough.

"If I may," Sage said gently, reaching out with one paw; when Jaypaw didn't refuse, he touched the gray tom's flank, and nodded slowly to himself before moving to touch Jaypaw's forehead.

"You have a slight fever, and your eyes are a bit unfocused. Your coughing worries me quite a bit as well. How long have you been without an appetite, and how long have you been coughing?"

"I've had a little bit of a cough for...I don't know, maybe a week? But Bluepaw and Shimmerfrost didn't think it was too serious then." Jaypaw gave Bluepaw a glance, and she nodded. "As for the eating...well, there's just no reason for me to eat when we've got so much work to do. And if I'm not hungry, I shouldn't waste the time, right? We've got a lot of ground to cover. Lives are at stake."

"It was just a little cough...no big deal, right?" Bluepaw mewed. Sage looked grave.

"That's what we said, too...but we've already lost several cats to the chilling disease," he answered. "I can't say for certain myself – Feather is much more gifted than I – but I do not believe this is a mild cold. I would go so far as to venture that this might be something quite serious. In any case, you should not be going on this journey."

Jaypaw's eyes widened, and his fur bristled. "You can't be serious. I've already come this far. There's no way I'm turning back now, not because of some stupid cough!"

Sage's green eyes were calm. "I understand your feelings, but I cannot in good faith allow you to endanger your life. It is possible that you might have inherited some resistance to the disease from your parents; if I have heard correctly, both of your parents were Clanborn. But it will not be enough to keep the disease at bay for long if you continue to push yourself. If you will not tell your journeymates, then I will."

Jaypaw's fur flattened, and he looked abruptly defeated. "I can't go home now," he said. "I _can't. _Robinpaw is depending on me. I promised that I'd protect her, I can't be sick..."

Sootpaw felt a surge of pity for the gray tom, and against her better instincts she nuzzled his shoulder sympathetically.

"I'm sorry," Sage said quietly. "I'll give you time to let it sink in, but if you do not tell your journeymates before nightfall about your condition, I will be forced to." He gave Bluepaw and nod, then paused a moment to blink at Sootpaw.

"I know of Bluepaw's origins – she came from Twolegplace, or so Minnow says – but what of yours?" he asked, a note of curiosity in his voice.

"I'm Ravenwing's daughter," she mewed, then added, "Eaglestrike's too, of course."

Sage nodded in understanding. "I see. It's good to meet you three." He rose to his paws and padded away, going to stand beside Swift, who Sootpaw guessed was his sister.

"Who do you think they are?" Sootpaw whispered to Bluepaw inquisitively. "They don't look that old."

"They're probably about our age...although Sage is pretty big, so maybe a bit older," Bluepaw observed. "Could they be Minnow's?"

"I don't think she had kits, at least not during Lion's battle," Sootpaw said, trying to remember the stories that her mother had told her; she wasn't even sure if Ravenwing had ever met Minnow, although she'd heard of her. "They'd have to be two moons younger than us, if that was the case...it kind of makes sense, since Swift is silver like her, and Sage has green eyes, but I don't think they're that much younger than us."

"Hmm," was all Bluepaw said, before blinking at Jaypaw with concern. "Are you okay?"

Jaypaw stared down at his paws silently; he didn't speak a word, and Bluepaw and Sootpaw exchanged worried glances.

"It's not the end of the world," Sootpaw assured him, touching his flank with her tail. "I'm sure it's just a little cold. Shimmerfrost will patch you right up."

"That's not the _point._ I wanted to help Robinpaw, but if I have to go home...Can't you help me?" A pleading note entered his voice as he stared at Bluepaw. "Can't you just use some herb to make the cough go away?"

Her blue-gray ears flattened. "I want to, but I don't know what sort of herbs are around here...and they said it's too dangerous for us to go down into the forest, in case we get sick," she mewed. "I'm sorry, Jaypaw, I would really like to help, but..." She trailed off, and Jaypaw rose to his feet, padding away; Bluepaw looked after him helplessly, before turning to Sootpaw, her eyes wide and sorrowful.

"It was only a little cough," she mewed helplessly.

. . .

"So, where is this cure for the forest-sickness?" Tremor asked keenly; the party had finished their meal, and Northstar now held their full attention.

Northstar smiled. "It's an interesting place. I can't quite explain it to you. You'll have to see it for yourselves." He turned towards the members of his party. "I'm sure you'll be happy to learn that we're going back into the tunnels."

Bluepaw let out a melodramatic groan. "Do we _have_ to?"

"No," he answered, "and this goes for all of you. You can remain behind and stay here, I don't care. It's your choice. I'd prefer it, really, if most of you stayed behind, but there's nothing I can do to stop you. And there are a few of you that must come." He gave Tremor a small nod.

"I already know about the Carvings from the ex-FrozenClan cats," Tremor said. "We've thoroughly explored the Carved tunnels, and have found no sort of cure."

Northstar's eyes gleamed. "Precisely. The tunnels that we will be passing through are not Carved at all."

Sootpaw's eyes widened. _Is that safe? _She thought nervously. _He told us himself that cats get lost...who's to say that he won't have forgotten the way? It's been a long time since he was last here..._

"How do you know the way, if it is un-Carved?" Tremor asked; his voice was not suspicious, merely curious.

Northstar flicked his tail. "As my party has already found, I really dislike wasting time with explanations. I'll fill you all in on more details as we go." He began walking away; Tremor waited a moment before following him.

"I think I'll stay here; you all are welcome to," Minnow said cheerfully. Swift sat down beside her, looking somewhat nervous.

"As much as I'd like to stay out of those dingy tunnels, I don't think we can miss this big secret, can we?" Bluepaw asked, cocking her head to once side; Sootpaw quickly shook her head, and the two of them trotted after Northstar, with Reedrush, Brackenpaw, Rabbitleap, Swanpaw, and Jaypaw following behind them. Sootpaw noticed that Rainwind and Thistlethorn were the only ones staying behind to chat with the two loner she-cats.

Northstar moved with remarkable ease, even when the landscape became jagged; Sootpaw was reminded of her earlier lesson with him when she nearly fell as pebbles skidded under her paws; she took one look down at the drop just below her, and shuddered, reminding herself to be more careful of where and how she was putting her paws down.

She spotted the mouth of another tunnel opening; this one was smaller than the last, and she shuddered at the thought of her shoulders brushing up against both sides of the tunnel.

Northstar paused only for a moment, to see who had come along and who had stayed behind, before he disappeared into the darkness. Sootpaw grabbed Bluepaw's tail tightly, and plunging in after her.

The chilling effect was immediate, just as before, and she couldn't help but shiver.

"As I told the other cats earlier, my father realized what an asset the tunnels could be. He was one of the first explorers of them, and one of the few to survive. These tunnels are dangerous if you don't know your way around, and there are too many twists and turns to count." As he spoke, the tunnel forked, and he went left.

"But he did not reveal to FrozenClan all that he learned. My father was crafty and wise; he knew the benefit of keeping information to himself. There is a place deep within these mountains, a secret place, a sacred place. My father and his medicine cat, Leafshadow, were the only cats to know about it when I was young. When my father appointed me deputy against Clan traditions, he shared the secret with me, and so I have kept it, sharing it only with the medicine cat after Leafshadow. Today, I am the only cat alive that knows the way. But that will change. Are you paying attention, Tremor?"

"I am." Tremor's rumble was soft, but deep; she could feel it reverberating through her paws.

"Good." Northstar was quiet again for a long time; the tunnel twisted twice more; Sootpaw was already beginning to have trouble keeping track of the twists and turns.

_How did Frozenstar manage to remember this? _She wondered. _He must have been very intelligent...that's what everyone always said, I guess...but he was crazy too, wasn't he? I guess you can be crazy and crafty at the same time..._

"What is this sacred place of yours, exactly?" Rabbitleap asked from behind Sootpaw, almost hesitantly. "I mean, wasn't there a place that the cats communed with StarClan already? FourPool?"

"It is not sacred in the traditional sense, no," he answered. "My father found it before he decided to build FrozenClan, actually, and it was used by him before then. It is not sacred in the idea that it has a connection to StarClan. It has a connection to spirits, yes, but not the ones you know. The Clans are not the only ones with religion. The rogues of the mountains believed in gods long before the Clan cats came. And this place is not sacred only in the spiritual sense, but in the practical sense as well."

"Because of the forest-sickness herbs?" Bluepaw asked.

"Partially," he replied. "It is the only place in our mountains where the forest-sickness herb can grow...we call it the snowberry plant. The forest cats call it-"

"The iceleaf plant," Tremor said quietly, and Sootpaw imagined Northstar nodding.

"Correct. Eating the leaves and berries has an immediate cooling effect, as if the cat had just eaten a block of ice."

"But...how would that help the chilling disease? The forest-sickness had fevers, so that makes sense, but the chilling disease makes you cold," Sootpaw couldn't help but meow.

"It was very effective for cooling forest-sickness fevers, that much is true; we don't know what effect it will have on the chilling disease, but we assume that it can only be good. Those afflicted have the illusion that they are-"

"On fire." The speaker's voice was flat, without malice; Sootpaw almost didn't recognize that it was Swanpaw's. "They think they're on fire. They thrash around and yell, trying to get someone to put out the flames..."

_Her sister, _Sootpaw thought, with a pang of pity.

"Yes," Northstar said softly. "Sometimes the body has a way of telling the mind exactly what it needs. They feel they are on fire, and the herb has a cooling effect; it is another reason that we are hoping it can help."

After that they walked in silence; Sootpaw finally lost track of their way, and she hoped that Northstar knew where he was going. It was impossible to say how long they had been walking, or how deep they were in the mountain network now; minutes could have been crawling past or hours could have flown by, she couldn't tell. She felt the old prickle of fear returning, the thought that she might never see the stars or sun again, that she would be trapped in the tunnels of eternal night.

That made her think of Chillpaw and the other Dark Forest cats. She couldn't imagine what their reality, with their skies always dark, the stars extinguished.

_And instead of going towards the single remaining star – the north star – they're choosing to go into the darkness...to go even deeper, even farther away from the light..._She shuddered. _How do they make that choice? How do they tear themselves away from the only comfort in their world? I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision to make, following an old legend in hopes that there's something beyond the darkness..._

She sighed softly. _I hope they're right. I hope there really is something waiting for them. I hope that they can save themselves...no matter what, everyone deserves a second chance, right?_

She smiled to herself; she could imagine Ravenwing purring quietly, licking her head, and murmuring, 'Silverstar used to say the same thing.' The dappled apprentice felt a sudden longing for her mother's soft fur, her comforting scent, her glowing green eyes. And she missed her father too, his kind eyes, and even her brother; Spiderpaw's sharp tongue would have set Swanpaw straight the moment she dared open her mouth. He would have been all over her after she pushed Bluepaw; Swanpaw would never have dared to do anything like that again.

_I wish I had his courage, _she thought, his ears flattening. _Sometimes it gets him into trouble, but...he's never afraid. He never thinks that there's something he can't do. He'll push himself and everyone else as far as he has to, to make sure the job gets done._

She closed her eyes. _He would be better on this journey than me...he would never quit, never stop to rest, never whine about being hunting. He's a good hunter and already a good fighter; he could handle anything the journey threw at him. Whereas I...well...I'm miserable at everything. If I had more training then _maybe _I could be good at something too, but..._She swallowed. _Have I bitten off more than I can chew, by going on this journey? I guess...I guess I can still turn back now. If Jaypaw tells Northstar about his sickness, then he'll have to go home...but no one would stop me from coming home too. Mother and Father would be happy __to see me, happy that I was safe...they might not even be mad..._

Spiderpaw rose into her mind, his green eyes glinting as she entered camp; she imagined him blinking at her silently, before giving her a disdainful curl of his lip.

'Couldn't go the distance, could you?' she imagined him saying, and her heart sank in her paws.

_Spiderpaw wouldn't be happy if I came back. He would know that I quit...that I gave up before seeing what I could really accomplish. _

She sighed again, and opened her eyes, blinking with surprise; the lightning had changed while she had been lost in her thoughts. It was grayer now, slightly fuzzy; she could almost make out the twists in the tunnel before they happened.

_There's no way we're on the other side of the mountain, it's too soon, _she thought with surprise. _But how else could it be getting lighter?_

There was tension on the air, she realized; it was coming from Northstar, just ahead of her. There was uncertainty in his step, an uneasiness in the way his ear twitched; he was nervous about entering the sacred place. And why wouldn't he be? The last time he had came, his father might have been alive.

Northstar stopped abruptly; Sootpaw bumped into Bluepaw and mumbled an apology.

"There is something you all must understand before we enter," Northstar said softly. "I am breaking the unspoken law, by allowing outsiders into the sacred cavern. I do this with a heavy heart; it flies in the face of the old beliefs. But I must, and it is important; this secret is not meant to die with me. The more cats who know of this place, the better; in it lies the hopes of our Clans, as well as your cats, Tremor."

"Understood," Tremor said softly. "We will treat the cavern with the utmost respect, I promise you."

Sootpaw saw Northstar nod slightly in the gloom, and he began walking again. Sootpaw rose slightly on her paws, craning her neck to see where the light was coming from; her eyes widened as the tunnel widened, the cavern blooming before her like a rose.

It was huge, easily fifty fox-lengths across, and almost completely circular; the stone walls were all a dark blue-gray color, smooth and worn. Her eyes widened as she tilted her head back, seeing that the light was coming from a hole in the ceiling of the cavern; the sunlight shone down through it fiercely, but only a fraction of the light managed to reach the dusty floor, hundreds of fox-lengths below.

She realized that the floor of the cavern was not rock; it was dirt, loose and dry, sliding through her paws like sand. She scooped some of it up, watching it run through her claws, before blinking as she saw the figures of three small plants near the center of the cavern, where the most light shone through. The three plants were illuminated, captured in the soft beam, their white berries sparkling like dewdrops. They were small, thin, with a reed-like stalk, and somewhat tall and lean. The leaves were large, spread wide.

"This is amazing, Northstar," Rabbitleap whispered, craning her back to stare at the top of the cavern. "It's...it's like..." Words seemed to fail the gray-and-white she-cat for once, and Northstar touched her flank gently with his tail.

"I had always hoped that I would be able to show someone that I cared about this place," he said softly. "Now I can say that I can."

Rabbitleap's blue-green eyes glimmered, and she pressed her nose against her mentor's shoulder.

"What is all of this, Father?" Brackenpaw asked with amazement, trotting up to his father's side. "It's so...huge. And there's lichen everywhere."

Northstar touched the golden tom's shoulder briefly with his tail, before fixing his golden eyes on Tremor. "This is our sacred cavern. This is our burial ground. It is the only place in the mountains where the earth is soft enough to dig into, at any time of year."

"Your...burial ground?" Rabbitleap whispered, and the she-cat gazed around the cavern with new-found awe gleaming in her eyes.

He nodded. "It is also one of the few places that the snowberry plant can grow. Forest cats have fertile soil, but this is all we FrozenClan cats had." He turned to look at the three lone plants in the sunlight. "It took many years for the soil to become rich enough for them, of course, and it is still very poor compared to the forest's soil. The sunlight allowed lichen to thrive here, and when the lichen died it became the earth." He began walking towards the light. "This is where all FrozenClan warriors are buried – along with elders, kits, and apprentices. The most prestigious cats are buried in the center; the others are buried farther away."

Sootpaw and the others trotted after him, stopping when he did; he stared down at a small stone, and Sootpaw's eyes widened as she realized that similar stones, smooth, pale, and unmarked, were scattered all over the den floor, half-buried in the dirt.

"Markers," she whispered, "for the bodies."

Northstar did not move; he continued to stare, and Sootpaw noticed that the three snowberry plants were all near three different grave-markers.

"The most prestigious cats were buried in the center...so is one of them...?" Rabbitleap blinked at Northstar anxiously.

Northstar flicked his tail to one of the plants, the one that was in the very center of the entire cavern. "That one is my father's grave. I carried him here alone, and buried him, then planted a single berry over his grave...it was our custom." He closed his eyes. "I knew to win the war we would need to outlast the forest Clans, and I knew they would succumb to the forest-sickness if their herbs were destroyed. We had to plant the snowberry plants here – as I said, it was the only place. My father knew that the earth was not yet rich enough for them to survive, even with the lichen. And so when a warrior was killed and buried, he would plant a snowberry berry on top of the grave. So that when the warrior's body turned to earth..."

"It would feed the plant," Tremor said, and Northstar nodded.

"He was crafty," Northstar meowed, "but that only meant that every warrior's death was just as much a blessing as a time to mourn. He comforted himself with that; it didn't matter how many warriors died, so long as they fed the plants and allowed the rest of the Clan to survive. I lost my mentor to his foolishness." Gently, he reached out to touch the stone that he had been staring at before. Slowly, hesitantly, Brackenpaw did as well.

"Brackenheart, right? The cat I was named for?" he asked, blinking up at his father. Northstar blinked down at his son, then nodded again.

"Yes. I hoped that you would live up to his legacy," was all that he said.

_The plant above Brackenheart's grave is still alive, and so is Frozenstar's, _ she thought. _They have enough sunlight to survive...I wonder who the third grave belongs to?_

"Sunlight isn't enough to keep them alive though, surely?" Sage asked thoughtfully. "Don't they need water? Surely not enough of that makes it down here."

Northstar nodded. "That is true. One of the medicine cat's duties was to care for these plants; Leafshadow used to go and gather moss, soak it in water, and come here to place the water-soaked moss around the plants to keep them alive. There were many, many more alive then...but without her care most of them have died. Only these three hardly plants have managed to survive. We should count ourselves lucky." He turned to Tremor. "One of these plants is yours, obviously. Take its berries and replant them wherever you see a grave-marker, and soon you will have more. Use the leaves to combat the chilling disease, if you can. We will take the other two, one for PeakClan and one for AshClan. If we move quickly, they will survive the trip."

Tremor nodded quickly. "Thank you, Northstar. This is quite a gift that you have given us."

Northstar didn't say anything, and Tremor glanced at the remaining cats. "If you need some time to yourself, we can wait in the entrance," he said quietly.

Northstar sighed, then shook his head. "I would like it, but there's simply no time to be wasted. I suggest you begin gathering some of the leaves while I dig up these other two."

Tremor nodded, and immediately he began picking the leaves of the third snowberry plant; Sage gently took a few of the round, white berries and began looking for places to plant them.

Northstar began to dig, his massive paws sending up clumps of earth at a time; Rabbitleap and Brackenpaw moved to help, but he simply shook his head, and they hung back.

Northstar dug up the first plant, then the second. He turned towards Sootpaw, and her eyes widened as his hard golden gaze met hers.

"One of these is yours now," he growled to her. "You're coming back with me, you've got to carry one."

She blanched, ears flattening; Sage glanced at her curiously.

"S-sir, I..." she stammered, then trailed off; out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone move.

It was Jaypaw; he stood, and seemed more frail than ever as he gave a small cough.

"Sir," he said quietly. "Sage says that...I'm not well. He doesn't think that it's a good idea for me to continue on this journey."

Northstar's eyes flicked to Sage, and the white tom nodded.

"I don't know if he has the chilling disease, but he is indeed ill," Sage meowed carefully. "It would be unwise for him to come with you."

"I would continue if I could," Jaypaw meowed quickly, his gaze sweeping over the group as if to erase all doubt from their minds. "I just...I can't." His ears flattened, and he slowly reached for one of the snowberry plants; when Northstar didn't stop him, he grasped it firmly in his jaws.

Northstar fixed Sootpaw with his gaze. "I see," he said slowly. "AshClan has lost an apprentice for this journey...and yet StarClan said there must be two. Are you stepping up to take his place now?"

Sootpaw swallowed; the question suddenly seemed much more real to her now, much more pressing.

_I could just say no, _she thought. _No one would think ill of me for it. I've had my taste of adventure; I've been hungry, tired, and wet. I've had my fun away from home. I could go back right now, back to my mother and father and..._

Just as before, Spiderpaw rose in her mind, looking disappointed, perhaps even angry, and her ears flattened.

_He loves me; of course he does, I'm his sister. And he would be glad to have me back, to know that I'm safe. But he would be disappointed. He would never forgive me for giving up, for turning my back on my Clan...for giving up my responsibilities just because I was scared._

She took a deep, steadying breath, and as she did so, she thought she caught the faintest scent of Spiderpaw's sleek fur. Then, she gave Northstar a smile.

"Of course I'm coming," she meowed. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

**AN: I think Belladonna/Nightshade's eyes changed a bajillion times too (why am I so bad at keeping eyes consistent?) but I think usually I said they were gold/amber? At least, I remember doing that a few times, and I like that color for her, so now it's official. Anyway, green eyes can be 'masked' by the more dominant gold eyes, like both Blight and Bella/Night/Mother had, therefore if both Blight and B/N/M carried the recessive gene for green eyes their kits could in theory have green eyes, as Sage does. There's only a ¼ change of that occurring (using really really simplified genetic stuff, and I'm not even sure if that's accurate D:) but since there were three total kits and he's the only green-eyed one it seems pretty close. :p**

**No, the snowberry/iceleaf plant isn't based on a real plant (although I'm sure something like it exists somewhere. xD). But it does give us a lovely excuse to hear Northy talk, yay. Can we ever get enough of him?**

**Also, early update for you darlings! Yeeaaah~!**


	22. C h a p t e r 21

**C _h a p t e r _21**

His fur bristled. _Keep smiling. We'll see how long that lasts, _he thought to himself as he blinked at the ginger warrior.

"What are you waiting for, little Spiderkit?" Fireblaze asked with a growl, his eyes narrowed. "Stop standing there and hurry up!"

"I was scenting," he meowed, trying to keep the edge out of his voice. "We're on a patrol. Scenting is kind of what we do."

Fireblaze rolled his eyes. "Well, you're taking forever! I've got stuff to do, you know."

"Now, Fireblaze, it's okay to slow down sometimes," Birchpool said breezily; the white she-cat was tilting her head up to stare at the clouds. "It's better to make sure we conduct the patrol thoroughly, rather than rush through it and miss something important. What did you smell, Spiderpaw?"

"Just PeakClan scent, mostly," Spiderpaw meowed. _And Fireblaze's scent, with Redpaw and Leopardpaw, _he thought with a small smirk. _This is where they were hunting together earlier today. You sure have been spending a lot of time with Leopardpaw, haven't you, Fireblaze? Trying to recruit her into your little band?_

Birchpool nodded slowly. "Good," she mewed, but didn't move; her blue eyes reflected the clouds that were floating above their heads, moving lazily over the azure sky.

"Come _on,_" Fireblaze groaned. "Slowing down is all nice and good, but just standing here isn't getting the job done. Let's go." He padded forward, pushing his way through the brush; Spiderpaw watched him go, eyes narrowed.

_Ordering Birchpool around? Someone's taking advantage of his warrior status, _Spiderpaw thought disdainfully; still, he said nothing. It hadn't been his choice to go on the dusk patrol anyway, he had been roped into it, and anything he said to Fireblaze would probably result in a shouting match and go downhill from there.

_Besides, I've still got to come up with a plan to shut him up, _Spiderpaw thought, as he finally began moving after the ginger apprentice; Birchpool shook herself from her reverie and followed. _As much fun as it is to rile him up, that will only make him angrier. Angrier cats are more easy to manipulate, of course, but since I don't know exactly _how _I want to manipulate him yet, it wouldn't be very useful..._

The patrol continued mostly in silence; Fireblaze and Spiderpaw didn't bother wasting words on each other, and Birchpool had little to say, preferring to stare up at the clouds or watch the last few leaves in the trees flutter to the ground.

They neared the Black Stream, and Spiderpaw's fur prickled uncomfortably. The scent of the journeying cats had faded by now, but there was no doubt that this was where they had gathered together; Spiderpaw glanced around, wondering where Sootpaw had hidden and watched.

_Hopefully she's okay, _he thought for the umpteenth time. _I don't want to see her anytime soon – I hope when Northstar comes back, she's not with him. I hope she's giving this journey her all, going as far as she has to...and I'm sure she will. She's always quiet around me, but underneath that, I think she's stronger than she lets on..._His ears flattened. _I could use a bit of that strength now, I guess. There's just so much going on, so much for me to keep track of, and it's all exhausting..._

Birchpool looked wistful as they followed the Black Stream, and he realized that she was missing someone too: her son, Thistlethorn.

_Is she hoping he'll come back home soon too? _He wondered. _She loves him, even though she doesn't remember anything of when he was a kit...the Thistlethorn that she knows just sort of sprang into being, I guess. She can't remember him playing around when he was a kit, or mewling for milk...does that hurt their relationship? It would be hard for him, since he remembers all this stuff and she doesn't...I've never really talked to him, but I know that Fireblaze was good friends with him...they both had that ambitious sort of courage, that wanting to be great. _His ears pricked, and he blinked, looking towards the ginger tom; if Fireblaze was missing anyone, it was carefully masked. Fireblaze's eyes darted towards him as he realized that Spiderpaw was staring, and he let out a quiet hiss.

They neared the Thunderpath; Spiderpaw gazed into the tunnel that ran underneath it, picturing Sootpaw creeping through it, before turning away and continuing down the patrol path.

As they drew farther away from the Thunderpath and the stench of the monsters began to clear, Spiderpaw noticed another odd scent on the breeze; he opened his mouth, trying to capture it, but he quickly realized that it was not a scent he knew. It was cat-scent, most definitely, but unfamiliar to him.

"Do you smell that?" he asked, his gaze flicking towards Birchpool; she took in a deep breath, then nodded.

"Smells like other cats, definitely not from the Clans," she mewed. "It's almost...familiar, but I can't quite..." She frowned to herself.

"It's like rogues, or loners...but not quite," Fireblaze said. "I think it's familiar too..."

"Maybe there are more loners in the territory," Spiderpaw suggested. "We scented Leopardpaw before we actually found her, right?"

"And there have been some signs of another loner, too," Birchpool said thoughtfully. "It could be. We should definitely alert Eaglestrike."

"We're close to Twolegplace...it could be some cats from there too," Spiderpaw suggested. Fireblaze's eyes widened, and he nodded.

"Yes, that's why I recognized it. It has to be Twolegplace cats."

"But...are they Amber's? Or Carmelo's?" Birchpool wondered. Spiderpaw felt a prickle of unease.

_Hopefully Amber's, or we'll be in some real trouble, _he thought nervously. _With so many cats sick, a real battle would be dangerous...we might not be able to hold them off._

"Amber hasn't contacted us in some time," Birchpool said thoughtfully. "I don't see why her cats would stop by in our territory without saying anything to us...but at the same time, I doubt Carmelo's cats could have gotten here either. They'd have to go through Amber's territory to do so, or cross the Thunderpath and come through the marsh, and we haven't scented them."

"They could have come around the other side of Twolegplace, where Blight's forces invaded last year," Fireblaze suggested. Birchpool nodded.

"That's also a possibility," she mewed. "We should definitely make sure to inform Eaglestrike."

Fireblaze puffed out his chest with pride. "I'll take care of it," he meowed, a self-confident smile curling his muzzle; Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed, but he bit back his insults.

"What if Amber's been defeated by Carmelo, and he didn't have to bypass her?" Spiderpaw asked. Birchpool's blue gaze clouded over.

"Then I expect we're in a great deal of danger, if her troops have fallen to him," she mewed. Fireblaze shot Spiderpaw an irritated glance.

"We would have found signs if they had. There would be a lot more scents around Twolegplace, new scent markers...plus I'm sure we would smell blood or hear the sounds of battle. It's far away, but those sorts of things kind of carry."

"Not if they were in the middle of Twolegplace," Spiderpaw snapped. Fireblaze let out an irritated growl, and flicked his tail.

"Let's just hurry up. We're wasting time here just talking," he meowed, and began pushing his way through the brush once again. Spiderpaw glared at his ginger back, but remained silent.

He nearly jumped as Birchpool's tail brushed his flank.

"Had a falling out, did you?" she asked, her blue eyes glimmering down at him. "You two seem rather tense."

_How is the rest of the Clan so oblivious to him? _Spiderpaw thought, his fur bristling. _They all think I'm the one causing trouble, when he's the one bothering me!_

"We're not tense, we're just fine," he growled, shrugging off her touch. Birchpool blinked at him slowly.

"I know some of the Clan thinks I'm a bit batty...and it's true that I'm not the same cat that I was before my accident...or so Thistlethorn says. I can be a little distant, a little odd...but I'm not completely blind. You're angry with him, and he with you. It's fine if you don't want to tell me why, but don't think that I have no idea that it's going on."

Spiderpaw glanced towards the white she-cat almost curiously, but she was moving forward faster than he was, catching up to Fireblaze. Spiderpaw let out a quiet irritated huff, before breaking into a sprint to catch up to them.

The patrol was silent as they neared camp; Spiderpaw paused for only a moment as another scent reached his nose. His eyes narrowed. _Leopardpaw, _he thought, his lip curling. _And she's alone, of __course...this one is fresher than the last. What does she _do _out here? She always brings back prey, but surely no cat can spend as much time hunting as she does..._His tail lashed. _There's definitely something fishy about her, the way she's always off on her own in the forest, that dumb smirk of hers...and I'm not getting anywhere trying to figure it out! She obviously won't talk to me about it..._His gaze slid to Fireblaze. _Although, I wonder...they've been getting chummy lately. Has she spoken to him about whatever she's doing? And why exactly are they hanging out so much? I didn't think they were friends; I doubt he let his scuffle with her be forgotten that easily. It was moons ago, I guess...back when Sootpaw and I were still just little kits...but he obviously doesn't let things like that go._

Spiderpaw's gaze bored into the ginger tom's back, but luckily he didn't turn around. _Fireblaze might be looking for new members of his little gang, _he pondered. _After all, Jaypaw's gone...Robinpaw's kind of on my side, I guess, and Blizzardpaw is just floating around in the middle. The only real ally he has is Redpaw. Leopardpaw's smart, strong, and a good hunter; naturally he'd want her on his side. Plus she's sneaky enough to do things like steal my moss and get away with it..._He bared his fangs at the memory of sleeping on the hard ground. The moss thief was just something else for him to worry about on top of everything else.

Then, he blinked as something occurred to him. _Getting Blizzardpaw on my side shouldn't be too hard, since Robinpaw is. I might actually be more powerful than Fireblaze right now...no wonder he wants to draw Leopardpaw in. But if _I _could be the one to befriend her, not only would I gain more power, but I would also have a better chance of learning what she's up to...not to mention that her becoming friends with me would do much more than ruffle Fireblaze's fur. _He allowed himself a small smirk at the idea as they entered camp.

Fireblaze struck off immediately towards the medicine den, where Eaglestrike normally was; Spiderpaw ignored him, sweeping his gaze over the camp to look for Leopardpaw instead. He found the dappled she-cat sitting with Redpaw, looking bored; he was prattling on about something or another, probably boasting of his own exploits. Spiderpaw smiled; a bored Leopardpaw would be more interesting in listening to him than the ginger blowhard.

He padded over to them, ignoring Redpaw's look of surprise as he sat down. He paid not the slightest bit of attention to the ginger tom, focusing his gaze on the dappled she-cat instead.

"Hello, Leopardpaw," he meowed, trying to keep his voice light; she blinked at him, confused, before an amused smile curled her muzzle.

"Hello, Spiderpaw," she purred, directing her full attention to him, dropping Redpaw like a dirty piece of prey. The ginger tom glanced between the two of them, bewildered.

"So, er, as I was saying, I was stalking this squirrel-" he started to say, only to be fixed by Leopardpaw's haughty gaze.

"Go drool on Fireblaze's paws, or whatever else you enjoy doing," she meowed. Redpaw blinked at her, before looking to Spiderpaw, who fixed him with a cold glare; Redpaw seemed confused, and almost hurt by the dappled she-cats comment. His ears flattened, but he said nothing, simply rising to his paws and padding away.

"I've been wanting to get rid of him all day, but sitting alone is boring," Leopardpaw meowed, touching Spiderpaw's flank with her tail. He stiffened uncomfortably, and the amused smirk returned to her muzzle. "What did you come over here for? You want to challenge me to another spar, huh?" Her green eyes glittered fiercely at him.

"No. I just thought we'd...talk," he said slowly. Her whiskers twitched.

"Talk, huh? From what I can tell, you don't really like talking. You're more the shouting kind."

Spiderpaw rolled his eyes. "Yes, I have a sharp tongue. Ha ha, very funny. Let's just move past that part, shall we?"

"And go onto what? The part where you challenge me to a duel?" She cocked her head to one side. "I'm pretty sure all of our conversations have contained either you yelling at me, or wanting to fight me. I suppose I'm irresistible, in that manner." She let out a mischievous purr.

"I wouldn't say irresistible, no," he scoffed, before narrowing his eyes. "Apparently you're pretty attractice to Fireblaze, though...or Redpaw, at least."

She twitched her whiskers at him, and he was irritated that he couldn't get under her fur. "Well, you know. Some of us are imply impossible for toms to deny. I suppose I have that effect on them...although Redpaw is rather easily lured." She nodded towards the ginger tom, who was talking to Robinpaw; she looked as bored as Leopardpaw had been moments ago.

Spiderpaw almost considered going to help Robinpaw out, but decided against it; he was obviously doing much more important things.

"So, now, why are you really here?" Leopardpaw asked, re-fixing him with her green gaze. "As sweet as it would be for you to liberate me from my ginger oppressors, I really doubt that's what you had in mind. And you're not really one for chatter either...or mingling, for that matter. So what is it, little Spiderkit? What do you want?"

He bristled. "Don't call me Spiderkit," he snapped. Leopardpaw let out another amused purr.

"You'll always be Spiderkit to me, with an attitude like that," she chided, flicking her tail against his muzzle. He jerked away from her touch, and forced himself to flatten his fur.

"I'll be honest with you; it bothers me to see you hanging out with Fireblaze. He's a real jerk, the last kind of friend you need...and if you're on his side, you'll become a real pain in my tail," he said bluntly. Leopardpaw blinked.

"His side?" she echoed innocently. "Whatever do you mean?"

His eyes narrowed once more. "Don't play games with me. You probably know more about all this than even Fireblaze; you're always quiet and watchful, so most cats don't notice you, and that lets you get in close before they're aware of it. You know very well that Fireblaze dislikes me, and you definitely know that he's only trying to recruit you. Fireblaze isn't dumb like Redpaw; he's keen enough to see that as one of the oldest of our generation, he has the potential to become very powerful, perhaps even becoming leader, but as the son of the current deputy, I'm a threat...not to mention I humiliated his sister. He needs more cats on his side to secure his own success, and I'm sure there's a whole lot he would do to get it. So please don't act stupid and insult my intelligence."

Leopardpaw flashed him a fang-filled grin. "Delightful. So this is to be a bond based on gain, rather than friendship? Interesting. Your direct approach is intriguing. I'm sure he appreciates it as well."

Spiderpaw blinked, puzzled at first, until he realized she was no longer looking at him; she was looking over his shoulder, and as he turned he saw why she looked so amused. Eaglestrike and Fireblaze were sitting together in the entrance to the medicine den; Eaglestrike appeared to be talking to Fireblaze, but the ginger tom only had eyes for Spiderpaw and Leopardpaw. Fury crackled in his amber gaze.

"How long was he watching?" Spiderpaw spat, turning to Leopardpaw, but she only gave him a little shrug and laughed.

"Don't worry, little Spiderkit, I'm sure he's not too angry with you," she mewed. "Aside from the all-consuming rage, that is."

Spiderpaw glanced back to the two toms, and saw that Eaglestrike was striding away from the ginger tom, heading for Stormshadow and Petalcloud, who were sharing tongues; Spiderpaw's ears flattened as Fireblaze padded towards them.

"Hey, Spiderpaw, why don't we go on a hunting patrol?" the ginger tom asked cheerfully, his pasted-on smile clashing with his narrowed eyes. Spiderpaw realized that the other warriors were watching them; Fireblaze was only being friendly for appearances, and there was no telling what he would do if he managed to get Spiderpaw alone.

"No thanks, I'm tired," Spiderpaw growled, and gave the sky a quick glance. "Besides, it's getting late. Most of the prey is asleep in their burrows."

"No, I insist. Northstar and your dear sister will be returning home soon, perhaps even tomorrow, and we have to make sure that the fresh-kill pile is full for them! Northstar will be dropping by to update Silverstar, I'm sure." Fireblaze lowered his muzzle slightly, until he was hissing into Spiderpaw's ear, so quietly that only the two of them could hear. "If you don't come, I'll drag you out by your scruff. Wouldn't that be embarassing?"

"You wouldn't dare," Spiderpaw spat back, equally quiet, but in the back of his mind he wasn't certain there was anything Fireblaze wasn't capable of.

The ginger tom gave him a rough nudge with his nose, one that probably seemed only playful to the onlookers. Spiderpaw cast Leopardpaw another glare - she returned it with a grin - before heaving himself to his paws.

"I'll be right back," he glowered at her, before slowly following the ginger tom towards the camp entrance, his fur ruffling around his shoulders.

Fireblaze was silent as they drew further and further away from camp; Spiderpaw considered bolting for a moment, but steeled himself; he was tired of cowering around the ginger tom like a helpless kit.

"I think we're far enough away now that they won't hear you yelling," he said bluntly. "So you might as well start now."

Fireblaze spun around to face him. "Trying to give me orders, Spiderkit?" he spat. "You think you're so great, don't you? Well, you've got another think coming." He took a step forward, and Spiderpaw resisted the urge to step back. "Just because you're the deputy's son, you think you can get away with anything. Well, you can't! I'm watching you, Spiderpaw. And when you goof up, I'll be the one to catch it and make sure everyone knows." He let out a low growl. "But that's not what I want to discuss with you. I'm sick of the way you've been following my sister around. You already know that. But it makes me absolutely _furious_ to see you padding after her, then turning your attentions to a completely different cat! Do you think I'm blind, huh?"

Spiderpaw watched him coolly. "I'm no more interesting in Leopardpaw than I am your sister. And you seem to be mistaken. She's the one that's been following _me_."

"Do you think I'm really stupid enough to believe that?" Fireblaze snarled. "Blackpaw's not interested in you, and she never will be! You're delusional if you think that's what's going on."

"And you're delusional if you think she likes you watching out for her all the time!" Spiderpaw shot back, his fur bristling. "She hates that you're always looking over her shoulder, and if she tries to talk to anyone you don't like, you scare them away!"

The ginger tabby bristled. "I'm just looking out for her! It's always been that way. You don't understand because your sister doesn't care for you the way mine does. Your sister sneaked off without telling anyone, remember? She just wanted to get away from you!"

Spiderpaw bit back the truth, that he had known Sootpaw was sneaking off, had even given her advice to do so; as Fireblaze had said, he was eagerly awaiting Spiderpaw's mistakes. "Sootpaw was just doing what she thought was right. At least I'll support her on that front, unlike you. You won't let your sister be a hero; you're too afraid she'll outshine you."

"I just don't want her to get hurt. And there's no doubt in my mind that you'll hurt her," Fireblaze growled, and took another step forward. "This is your last warning, Spiderpaw. I'm sick of trying to keep track of you. Stay away from Blackpaw, and stay away from Leopardpaw too. Why don't you make it easy on everything, and just keep your grubby paws to yourself?"

Fireblaze's tail lashed. "Now, I've got some hunting to do. You can just lay about and whine like you usually do. Just don't get in my way." He turned away, disappearing into the brush. Spiderpaw glared after him, wanting to yell all sorts of obscenities, but knowing that it was wiser not to speak.

_At least I wasn't a complete coward this time. I wasn't hiding behind Jaggedclaw,_ he thought bitterly. He glanced towards the direction of camp, but unfortunately he couldn't return now, alone and without prey. Cursing Fireblaze under his breath, he turned towards the brambles.

The sun was gone now; it had already been almost completely gone when they had returned from the dusk patrol, merely a slim wafer of light on the horizon. Now it was dark, but not quite dark enough for the stars to shine. Looking up, he could see the moon beginning to rise.

_The halfmoon, _he thought idly, pausing for a moment to blink at the shimmering halfcircle. _I suppose Shimmerfrost is heading to the Pool of Stars? I wonder if she misses Bluepaw..._His heart sank at the thought of the blue-gray apprentice, and he found himself changing direction, although he wasn't exactly certain where he was going. It wasn't until he heard the sound of rushing water that he realized he was on his way to the river.

He stopped, and for a moment he thought he could scent Sootpaw, could see her crouched on the branch straddling the river once more, could feel the sharp claws of fear pin him to the ground as his sister was lost to the current. His ears flattened at the memory.

_I couldn't save her then...Leopardpaw had to step in for me, _he remembered. _And I can't help her now, either, not when she's so far away...she might be coming home with Northstar now, right? In a way...I guess I'm sort of glad. It's not the same with her being gone...even with Robinpaw talking to me again, I still feel...lonely. _His fur ruffled uncomfortably. He didn't like this feeling of empty, aching loneliness; even when his Clan so close, just a brief trot away, he felt as though he was the only cat he could talk to.

_Even the moon has friends, _he thought, gazing up at the sky once more, seeing the first stars beginning to shine feebly alongside their white companion. He shook his head in disgust. _Look at me. Comparing myself to the moon. I'm such a furball. This wouldn't happen if Sootpaw was here; with her around, at least I've got something to focus on..._

He sighed softly. _If I know Fireblaze, he's scaring off all the prey within a hundred fox-lengths. Perhaps I should try fishing? I don't have much experience, but it can't be all that hard...the fish scales will show up in the moonlight, and I'll blend in with the shadows._

He rose to his paws once more, slinking forward, heading towards the sound of water hitting the earth; then, he froze as another sound reached his ear, a low groan.

_An injured rogue? _He wondered, his thoughts instantly flying to the scents that the dusk patrol had discovered. Instantly, he was on high alert, his ears swiveling and his eyes wide. Opening his mouth, he flattened himself even closer to the ground as he caught a scent. He relaxed immediately; it was only Shimmerfrost.

_What's she doing still over here? _He wondered. _Shouldn't she be chatting it up with Blackmoon and Birdpaw, heading to speak to StarClan? I know it's not all that far away, but..._

He crept forward on light paws, peering through a thick bramble bush, searching for the silver-furred medicine cat; his eyes widened as he saw her. She was lying on the ground, slightly on her side.

She was not alone.

It was the other cat that had made the groaning noise he had heard, Spiderpaw quickly realized, for the tom did it again as he rubbed his muzzle against Shimmerfrost's fur. Spiderpaw was frozen, unable to think, until Shimmerfrost reached up at licked the mysterious tom's muzzle, agonizingly slowly. The tom bent his head, pressing his muzzle into her fur, and Shimmerfrost let out a deep purr; Spiderpaw was surprised he couldn't feel it vibrating through his paws.

_Who is he? What is she doing? _He thought, still frozen with shock; things weren't making sense, and it was taking him longer than usual to catch on. _She's a medicine cat! What does she think she's doing with...him?_

His eyes narrowed; the tom looked faintly familiar, but Spiderpaw couldn't catch his scent.

_Did the river wash it off? _He wondered. _But, if he came over the river...A PeakClan warrior!_

His eyes were huge in his dark face; if they widened any more, they would pop like green grapes. _What does she think she's doing?_ It was all he could manage. He was shaken to the core, watching one of the Clans' most important rules being broken.

He started to back away, then froze; he wasn't sure if he could move quietly enough without being heard. Both cats seemed preoccupied, but he knew that Shimmerfrost was nasty enough just doing her duties; he couldn't imagine what she would do to a cat that had found out her secret. He had no choice but to remain motionless, staring ahead with amazed eyes.

Finally, Shimmerfrost sat up, giving her fur a good shake. "I need to be going. Blackmoon will wonder where I am, and I'm sure his pest of an apprentice will be asking questions."

"That's my Clanmate you're talking about," the tom warned, his voice a low rumble, but his eyes glittered in the moonlight as he stared at the beautiful silver she-cat; he was obviously infatuated. Shimmerfrost, however, seemed less interested; she flicked her ear at him.

"Your Clanmates were wondering where you are too. We don't want to make anyone suspicious. Go on," she growled. "And remember..." Her voice fell until she was almost murmuring, "if you let anything about our little exchange slip, I will personally climb up to the Peak and slit your throat."

The tom pressed his pelt against hers. "Don't worry," he whispered in her ear, so quietly that Spiderpaw could barely make his words out. "I won't tell anyone, my sweet." He flicked his tail to her, before slipping into the river; she watched from the bank as he reached the other side and disappeared into PeakClan's stony territory.

She turned to look over his shoulder then, and Spiderpaw's muscles tensed as his heart leaped into his throat, thinking he had been spotted. However, he quickly realized that she was staring sightlessly over his head, her eyes dull despite their iciness. She almost looked as lonely as he felt, as she finally turned away and began padding over the stepping stones towards the waterfall and the Pool of Stars.

**AN: *flails* Another late chapter. I'm sorry, my darlings. Writing has just been very challenging for me lately. D:**

**But medicine cats cheating on StarClan makes up for it, right? 8D**

**BTW, if you haven't already, check out the new one-shot in my challenge thingy (13. Nothing). It's about our dear friend Blight, so it's relevant to this story~**


	23. C h a p t e r 22

**C _h a p t e r _22**

"_Hello," she said with a smile; Chillpaw did not return it, but she hadn't expected him to._

"_Good to see you again, pet," Blight said with a slight grin. _

"_You joined the journeying cats," Chillpaw meowed. "I knew you would."_

_She blinked at him. "Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" she asked, cocking her head to the side, glancing between the two toms. Blight's eye glittered with amusement._

"_I'd say good, wouldn't you?" he asked, nudging Chillpaw with his shoulder. Chillpaw shot him an icy look, before flicking his gaze back to Sootpaw; she suppressed a shudder. Locking eyes with Chillpaw was still unnerving, even though she knew he wouldn't hurt her._

"_It means that our meetings will be more brief than I like," Chillpaw meowed, his gaze lingering on Sootpaw for a moment, before looking up at Blight once more. "But good, I think. It makes everything easier."_

"_She definitely showed some motivation,conviction, all that," Blight said with a grin. Sootpaw frowned at the pair of them, feeling confused._

"_What are you talking about?" she asked. "Why do I have to be...motivated?"_

_Blight glanced towards her, his single eye gleaming like a bright sun. "It's for the ceremony, pet. You have to bond with us."_

_She blanched, and Chillpaw gave a quiet sigh. "Blight, you're frightening her again. I've told you about this. Sootpaw, relax. It's a simple process, and requires nothing but an open ear on your part. The ceremony demands that there must be a certain link between you and the rest of us...and the easiest way is through sharing our stories, one by one. It's easiest if you display...certain qualities. We obviously cannot tell you these, in case you try to force the behaviors to make everything go more smoothly."_

_She blinked, still confused, but less worried. "So I really don't have to do anything?"_

_He shook his head. "Simply be yourself. You're already a kind cat. We only ask that you listen. As Blight rather carelessly said-" He paused again to throw the dark gray tom another glance; Blight simply rolled his eye in reply. "You've displayed motivation and conviction in helping your Clanmates by joining the journey despite your own fear and lack of security. Thus, it's time that you heard one of our stories."_

_Sootpaw looked to Blight curiously, but he let out a quiet purr._

"_Not me, pet. I'll come later, if you even get to me at all...an innocent thing like you might never reach a point where you have to-"_

_Chillpaw shot the tom another dirty glance, and Blight scowled. "What I mean is, it's unlikely that you'll be chatting with me about Nightshade and all that any time soon."_

_Her ears flattened. "I'm not...I thought all I had to do was go with you to the end of the forest, to find the Pool of Eternal Night..."_

_Blight laughed. "You say it so casually, but I don't think you know how dangerous that is, pet. Much more dangerous than just listening to a couple stories from-"_

"_Blight." Chillpaw's voice was like the sound of splintering, crackling ice. "How about you go and tell Swiftshade it will be a moment."_

_Blight's fur ruffled, but he shrugged. "Whatever you say. You're the boss, after all." His eye glinted strangely, and the fur on Sootpaw's back stood up without her meaning to raise it. The dark tabby tom padded towards the others, his form melting away into the darkness; all she could see was his single gleaming eye._

_Chillpaw flicked his tail to her. "Come with me." _

_He began walking forward; she cast an anxious glance over her shoulder, towards the glowing eyes, before hurrying to catch up to him, as quickly as she could. They soon fell into stride together; Chillpaw was small for his age, and she was large for hers, so their strides were nearly the same length. She noted this with a faint smile of amusement, and wondered if she should say anything, but she knew that Chillpaw probably wasn't amazed by little coincidences like she was._

"_Blight does have a point, as bluntly as he put it," Chillpaw said finally. "This journey is more dangerous than anything else you'll have to do. We will encounter enemies, and there is a chance that you will get hurt."_

"_I know that, I guess...but I can always run away if something like that happens, right?" she asked. "These stories...I don't want to know every crime you guys committed while you were alive. Hearing it from other cats is bad enough, but from those who actually _did _them..." She shivered. "Blight was right when he said I was innocent, I guess. I'm just not sure I'm ready for that."_

"_When you decided to embark on this journey – our journey – you said that you would help us." Chillpaw's icy gaze turned to her, and she quickly looked away, dazzled by the intensity of his focus. "If you're going back on your promise-"_

"_No, I'm not," she said quickly. "I don't want to break my promise. I do want to help. I just don't know if this is..."_

"_I wasn't finished," he said softly. "If you are going to break your promise, we won't be angry at you. We won't berate you, haunt your dreams. No one can reach you without my abilities, and I will not let them do so. If you leave now, you will be safe. I assure you of that. We cannot complete our mission without you. The journey will be dangerous for us all, and there is no point in reaching the Pool if we have not complete the requirements for the ceremony itself. So if you're not ready for this – if you don't think you're capable of listening to our crimes – we need to know now, before we go too far. It's possible for us to get lost, Sootpaw. Even the darkest of cats can be lost in the shadows. We're no more at home here than you are."_

_Her ears flattened. "I don't want to let you all down..."_

_His tail brushed her flank. Startled, she looked up, and found that he was staring down at her again. "I won't lie to you. We will be disappointed if you choose not to help us. But, ultimately, there is nothing we can do about that. If you're not strong enough, we cannot push you. You can leave any time you want. You have that power. You know that."_

_She stared down at her paws, and sighed quietly. "You know...I dreamed about it. What you did to Silverstar."_

"_I know." His voice was as soft as frost creeping over a leaf. "The connection had to be forged. Your mind didn't know who I was, and it resented an alien presence invading it; I had to introduce myself to you before I could go much further. Unfortunately, that was one of the few images strong enough to provoke a reaction from you."_

"_It was awful. Seeing my leader die again and again...and knowing that there wasn't a happy ending, that you taking her life truly broke her...I was afraid to go to sleep. And then you started appearing, calling out to me, and it was confusing and even worse than before..."_

"_I know it was uncomfortable for you."_

_She looked up at him again. "No. It was much, much worse than that. I was only a few moons old when the dreams started! How was I supposed to cope with something like that?" She drew away from his touch, and he frowned. _

"_Sootpaw," he said quietly, then paused for a moment as if trying to collect his thoughts. "I apologize. But it was necessary, in order to make sure we had enough time-"_

"_You were more concerned with this crazy plan than whether or not you were driving _me _crazy!" she meowed, the pent-up fear and frustration bubbling out of her. She closed her eyes as the memories of Silverstar's death washed over her, berating her just as they had when she was only a few months old._

"_Sootpaw, you have to understand-"_

"_I don't _want_ to understand," she said, with a quick shake of her head. "I don't want to hear all you and your friends have done, all of the cats you killed, all the lives you destroyed...I don't want to have to listen and nod and pretend everything's okay, when I know that you don't regret your crimes...you don't, do you?" She gazed up at his face, searching his icy gaze. "Do you?"_

_He was quiet for a long moment. "No," he said finally, his voice barely a whisper in the breathless air. "I cannot say that I regretted my actions. But my personal feelings are only half the story, Sootpaw. That is what I am trying to tell you. You cannot take a cat and strip him away of everything but his actions, and judge him...there are always other factors, other things you don't know."_

"_Right," she said. "Silverstar was just _so _bad and awful that you had no choice to kill her, right? Your own aunt, and you don't even feel bad about it! How am I supposed to help you, Chillpaw? How am I supposed to condone helping a murderer reclaim life?"_

"_Sootpaw," he said again, and his voice was harder this time, cutting her like jagged ice. "We are prisoners here. You can leave with Moonpaw any time you like; you can wake up and pretend that none of this has ever happened, if you choose. We don't have that luxury. This is our prison. There's not a boulder blocking the entrance, there's not a physical enemy that we can fight, but we are trapped here all the same. Would you wish that upon your worst enemy?"_

_She swallowed, taking another step back. "I don't know, Chillpaw, I don't know. I just...I need some time to think, okay?"_

"_Time is another luxury for you. One that we cannot spare."_

_Her temper blazed. "Quit treating me like I'm some disobedient kit! I don't have to help you if I don't want to. I said I need some time to think about it, okay? And I'm going to take that time whether you want me to or not."_

"_Sootpaw-"_

_She took another step back. "Chillpaw. I'm not asking you for this. I'm telling you that I am going to take some time to think. You said so yourself, I can leave any time I want...and if I really want to, I can stay away. Nothing is forcing me to come here."_

_A shadow crossed the white tom's face, but he simply bowed his head. "You're correct, Sootpaw. There is very little I can do to stop you. If this is your choice, so be it. But please, Sootpaw...please return to us. I know you think us the villains, think that we have no place in your word...you think we have wasted our chances. But we're just waiting, Sootpaw, waiting for someone to give us that second chance. And that someone is you. You're the only one who can help us."_

Silverstar gave you a second chance, and look where it got her, _Sootpaw wanted to say, but she bit the words back, choking on them. Without another word, she turned, and found Moonpaw blinked at her. Silently, the black she-cat flicked her tail, and the Dark Forest melted into mist._

"_Sootpaw," Moonpaw said quietly, but Sootpaw shook her head._

"_I don't want to hear it, Moonpaw," she growled, then sighed quietly, closing her eyes. "Please. Take me somewhere...brighter."_

_She felt Moonpaw's pelt touch hers, and at the same moment light blazed behind her eyelids as the green sun caressed her pelt with its rays._

_. . ._

"Wake up," a voice called, and someone nudged her gently; she shifted slightly, and someone else poked her not-so-gently on her other side.

"Come on, don't just lie around! They brought us breakfast!" she heard an excited voice squeak.

"Bluepaw, please, don't shout," she heard Reedrush's quiet mew reprimand the apprentice. Bluepaw murmured something apologetically, and Sootpaw's eyes fluttered open.

It took her a moment to remember where she was; Northstar had taken them to one of the dens that dotted the mountainside, after they had emerged from the tunnels. Tremor, Minnow, Swift, and Sage had left them, taking one of the snowberry plants and promising that they would return the next morning.

Sootpaw yawned, stretching slowly, and her thoughts drifted back to FrozenClan's sacred burial ground. It was empty now; they had taken all three snowberry plants, two for the Clans, one for Tremor's group.

_Nothing but bodies now, _she thought, and her ears flattened. _All of Northstar's friends and comrades, buried under the lichen..._

"Didn't you hear me?" Bluepaw asked, prodding her again. "They brought us breakfast! Come on, or fat ol' Swanpaw will eat everything."

"Don't call her fat," Reedrush mewed, although this time her voice was less stern and more amused. "Sootpaw, come on. We need to be leaving soon. I think Northstar and Jaypaw are already ready to leave."

Sootpaw's ears pricked. "They're leaving without us?"

Reedrush nodded as Sootpaw rose to her paws. "They need to deliver the snowberry plants, and Jaypaw needs to be seen to. We have to plan our first move before we go anywhere, and Northstar doesn't want to wait. If you want to say goodbye to Jaypaw, you need to hurry."There was an unspoken warning in her words; this might be Sootpaw's last chance to say anything to Jaypaw, if he was truly sick.

Sootpaw nodded slowly, and followed Reedrush out of the rocky den.

The other journeying cats were already awake and chewing on prey; Northstar was growling at Jaypaw, who was staring at an untouched thrush between his paws. Next to Northstar, the two snowberry plants stood, having been temporarily planted so they wouldn't wither. On Northstar's other side was Tremor, flanked by Minnow, sitting with his brown tail curled around his large paws. His amber-yellow gaze met Sootpaw's, burning with strange intensity. She quickly looked away, feeling unnerved. _I really hope he doesn't decide to come along._

"Sparrow or pigeon, Sootpaw?" Bluepaw chirped, having already reached the remaining pieces of prey. Sootpaw opened her mouth, but Reedrush was already moving forward to claim the sparrow.

"Plump pigeon it is," Bluepaw purred. "Come on, Sootpaw."

The two of them moved a short distance away from the others, curling up together to eat; it was chilly outside, the morning mist curling above the forest. Sootpaw gazed at it, forgetting her hunger for a moment, mesmerized by the way the shimmering fog made the ocean's waves glitter like starlight.

_I almost wish we could stay longer, _she thought, before realizing that Bluepaw was not waiting for her and was already a quarter of the way through the pigeon.

"What were you dreaming about?" Bluepaw asked through the pigeon's feathers. "You were kind of frowning in your sleep and twitching. It was funny, but Reedrush said we should leave you alone since you obviously weren't sleeping well."

Sootpaw's ears flattened. "Nothing, really. I mean, I was having bad dreams, but...I don't really remember them." Her fur prickled as she lied, and she looked down, certain that Bluepaw would catch on, but the blue-gray apprentice seemed content.

She was still looking at the pigeon, chewing, when white paws entered her vision. She turned, expecting Swanpaw's icy blue eyes, but instead finding Sage's calm green orbs.

"I caught that," he said, sitting down. Sootpaw blinked, exchanging glances with Bluepaw.

"Thanks, it's really good!" Bluepaw meowed enthusiastically. "It must have been hard to catch it around here!"

Sage's whiskers twitched. "We caught most of the prey in the forest, actually. It's easier to catch it there...my paws are too soft for running over this rock." He turned one paw over, and Sootpaw saw that its gray pad was scuffed up. Sootpaw turned over her own paw, wincing; it looked raw, and it was throbbing faintly.

"We're not used to the rough stones either," she said. Sage flicked his tail with a frown.

"I knew I was forgetting something. I was going to get some dock leaves for you all, to help with your paws," he said. "I suppose I can get them later."

"Later?" she echoed. He nodded, and then looked almost embarrassed, his gaze dropping to his paws.

"I would like to come with you. As I said yesterday, many of us are suffering from the chilling disease...I am Feather's apprentice – not exactly the way you Clan cats think of it, but close enough – so it is my responsibility to look after them. Also, I am sure that there are many plants outside of this valley for me to study...and through studying them, I could perhaps adapt some of our own herbs and learn new mixtures. I think it would be a good experience...so long as no one objects." He glanced up at them, looking almost shy, and Sootpaw found herself letting out a quiet purr.

"Don't worry, we'll be glad to have you," she mewed. "I'm sure your knowledge would come in handy. Maybe you and Bluepaw could swap knowledge, even."

Bluepaw cocked her head to one side. "Won't your mother miss you?" she asked, flicking her ear in Minnow's direction.

"Minnow's not my real mother," Sage said, "although I know many cats see the similarities. Swift and I are the kits of Belladonna and Blight."

Sootpaw's eyes widened in understanding, and she looked towards Sage's sister with new interest. Swift's eyes were Blight's gold, albeit gentler and less intense, and her pelt bore some of his dark gray coloring, tempered with her mother's white. Then, she frowned.

"Belladonna? I thought Blight's mate was Nightshade?" she asked.

"Belladonna was her original name," Bluepaw said, surprising both of them.

"How do you know that?" Sage asked. "Most cats do not."

"Bramblethorn used to talk about her...he loved her, I think," the blue-gray apprentice said softly, scuffing her paw in the dirt. "He really missed her, and sometimes he would look up at the stars when he thought everyone was asleep...he would do it right outside the nursery. When I was little, I thought he was looking over me while I was sleeping, but once I heard him whispering...I think he was talking to her."

"I do not know Bramblethorn," Sage said thoughtfully. "Perhaps when this is all over, I could meet with him. I would like to know more about my mother; Minnow knows very little of her time as Belladonna, I'm afraid."

"He's dead." Bluepaw's voice was flat. "A badger killed him."

Sage's eyes widened. "I had no idea. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to reopen an old wound."

Bluepaw shook her head. "It's fine...here, Sootpaw, you can have the rest." She pushed the remains of the pigeon towards the dappled apprentice. "I'm going to say goodbye to Jaypaw." She rose to her paws; Sootpaw's gaze tracked her as she headed for the sick tom.

"Have I made her angry?" Sage asked anxiously. "I honestly did not mean to. Feather has never mentioned meeting Bramblethorn to me...I know she met Rumble, and several other cats, but..."

"No, she's not mad. I'm not sure if Bluepaw can even get mad, really. She forgives pretty easily, and you didn't know. She's understanding like that; it's why she's a good medicine cat," Sootpaw meowed. "Here, are you hungry? I'm pretty full."

"Thank you," Sage meowed, and he quickly finished off the rest of the pigeon.

"I think I'm going to say goodbye to Jaypaw...if you don't mind," she said uncertainly. He gave her an encouraging nod, and she padded towards the little group.

"Hey, Sootpaw. Here to wish me luck?" Jaypaw asked as she approached. He attempted a smile, but it faltered; he was clearly unhappy about being sent home.

"You should be the one wishing me luck," Sootpaw teased, sitting down next to him, before her cheerfulness gave way to concern as he coughed quietly. "How do you feel?"

"The same as always. This cough isn't anything. I really wish..." He sighed quietly, and gave a feeble shake of his head. "Never mind. Wishing won't help, I guess."

She touched his flank with her tail, stopping her ears from flattening despite the faint heat she felt radiating from his pelt. "Next time we have a dangerous, scary journey, I'll make sure you take my place," she offered. "Besides...I'm pretty sure Robinpaw will be happier with you back home. She misses you, I know she does. And I'm sure she likes that you want to protect her, but I'm pretty sure she'd be happier to have you by her side."

Jaypaw sighed again. "Yeah, I know. She was really worried about me going...but I guess I was sick before I even decided to leave, so worrying didn't change anything."

Sootpaw felt a wave of pity for him. "I really wish you weren't sick."

He attempted another smile. "Yeah. Me too." He glanced towards Northstar, who was deep in conversation with Tremor. "I guess we'll be leaving soon."

"Try not to kill Spiderpaw, okay? Even if he deserves it. He's the only brother I have," she meowed, giving him a playful nudge.

"I'll try not to. Really...I don't think I'm mad at him anymore. It seems kind of silly, now that I'm away from it all...Robinpaw was never really angry, so I shouldn't be. Your brother's a furball, but he's not malevolent, just angry. I dunno...maybe we'll be able to go hunting a few times before I have to be confined to the medicine den."

Sootpaw felt a rush of longing for her brother, with his bright green eyes and sharp tongue. "Tell him I miss him, and that I think about him a lot, and hope he's okay."

This time, Jaypaw managed a real smile. "Bluepaw said the same thing."

At that moment, Northstar rose to his paws. "It's time for us to say our farewells. Jaypaw and I will be setting off now; we should reach the forest in a few days' time. Tremor has said he can guide you through the tunnels in whatever direction you decide to take." Northstar paused for a moment, his gaze sweeping over the group. Finally, he dipped his head to them. "Be careful, all of you. Remember that the Clans are depending on you; don't take breaks when you're merely feeling tired. At the same time, don't push yourselves too far; understand your limits. May StarClan light your paths." With that, he turned and gently took one of the snowberry plants in his jaws. Jaypaw quickly touched noses with Sootpaw, before copying him, grasping the other snowberry plant firmly.

The two toms turned away, heading upwards towards the yawning tunnel. Bluepaw let out a loud "Goodbye!" and the others followed suit; a chorus of farewells soared upwards as Northstar and his young ward disappeared into the shadows.

The group was silent for a moment, straining to make out the two toms even though they were no longer there; finally, Tremor turned to Bluepaw.

"Northstar tells me you received a prophecy," he rumbled. "Let's hear it."

Bluepaw looked nervous as all eyes turned to her. "Um, okay. Well, StarClan told me tell it in pieces, so we don't try to figure out too much ahead of time...so we don't make mistakes, you know."

"Alright, well tell us the first part," Minnow said kindly. "What direction will you all be heading in?"

Bluepaw took a deep breath, frowning with concentration. "The first thing they said was..._head for the home torn asunder. Follow the trail of Twolegs' thunder._"

"That much is easy," Reedrush meowed. "The home must be the lake, the home of the Kalan, because Twolegs' thunder is obviously the Thunderpath."

Rainwind nodded slowly. "That much makes sense. The rhyming is strange, though; I didn't think most prophecies did that."

"Maybe this one is just special? I don't know," Bluepaw said uncertainly.

"Which direction will we be going on the Thunderpath?" Brackenpaw interjected. Bluepaw opened her mouth as if she was about to recite more of the prophecy, but Reedrush beat her to it.

"I'd assume we are going West, since heading down by the lake will be taking us west anyway. If they were telling us to go to the marsh, I'd assume East," the silver tabby meowed. "Simple enough. We can figure out what to do next when we reach the Thunderpath. It won't be for a few days anyway, right, since we have to go through the tunnels?" She glanced at Tremor, and he nodded.

"I think we'll take a different route than you all did to get here, though," he said. "We can go through a different tunnel that will take you farther to the west of the pine forest. If you go in a straight line from there, you'll skirt the edge of the lake and find yourself on the Thunderpath. It'll take a bit of time, just like the other tunnel, but you'll be a bit closer to your destination."

Rainwind nodded. "Sounds good to me." The silver-gray tom looked to the rest of the group for approval, and they silently nodded.

"Let's go, then," Tremor said with a flick of his tail. "Minnow, Swift, I'll see you both in a few days." He gently touched muzzles with Minnow, and gave Swift an affectionate nuzzle, before padding upwards, digging his claws into the rough stone. Sage whispered farewell to his sister and foster-mother, before following close behind.

Sootpaw turned to follow the others, only to find a tail brushing her flank. She turned, blinking with surprise as she realized Minnow had been the one to touch her.

"Hey," the silver tabby mewed quietly; her green eyes were wide and quizzical, but also faintly...unhappy. "We didn't get a chance to talk earlier."

Sootpaw shot an anxious look over her shoulder, and was relieved to see that Bluepaw was waiting for her. "Um, yeah. Sage talked to me earlier, but I didn't get to talk to you. I know you were one of Rumble's friends, right?"

Minnow's green eyes clouded with grief at the thought of the blind tom. "Yeah. He saved my life, along with Belladonna..." Her green eyes sharped as they peered down at the dappled apprentice; Sootpaw began to feel uncomfortable, and she wanted to hurry after the others.]

"I've, um, got to go, or they'll leave without me," she mewed feebly. Minnow nodded quickly, and for a moment she looked almost embarrassed.

"Right, right, sorry. I just wanted to talk to you, to see if...well, never mind. Good luck on your journey, Sootpaw. Be careful, and may the stars guide your path."

Sootpaw nodded, and turned away, ready to dart up after the others, only to pause again as Minnow said softly,

"If you've got time after all this...come up here sometime, to the mountains. I'm sure Sage would take you. I'd like to get to know you."

Sootpaw didn't turn around, but she gave an odd bobbing sort of nod, before dashing after her Clanmates.

. . .

She didn't relax until the light had faded well behind them, until she knew that if she glanced over her shoulders she wouldn't see Minnow watching her. She shivered, her fur ruffling, only partially because of the chilliness of the cave.

She was at the end of the line, of course; Bluepaw was in front of her, but this time Sootpaw didn't have to clutch her tail to feel safe. From what she could gather, Tremor and Sage were at the head of the group, with Swanpaw on their heels, followed by Brackenpaw and Reedrush, who were in turn followed by Rainwind, Rabbitleap, and Thistlethorn.

Sootpaw allowed her mind to wander; they would be in the tunnels for over a day, after all. She couldn't talk to Bluepaw without disturbing the others, which meant that thinking was all that was left open to her.

Her thoughts turned invariably to Chillpaw, and it was all she could do not to shiver again. His icy eyes seemed to bore into her mind, and she quickly closed her own, trying to block his out.

_I want to help...I want to be a hero. But, at the same time, I'm just not sure they can be trusted...after all, Chillpaw sent me horrible nightmares for moons trying to get a hold of me. Who's to say he wouldn't do it again if he needed to? What if I can't block him out? And what if he's lying about all this Pool of Eternal Night stuff? What if he actually has something else planned?_

Her ears flattened. _There's no one I can ask, no one who can help me with all this. I'm completely on my own, and it's terrifying. I don't know how to deal with all of this, the Dark Forest stuff and the dreams StarClan has been sending me without explanation, and now this journey...it seems like quite a load to bear for a she-cat that only caught her first prey a few days ago...I'm not sure I'm up to the task._

She sighed softly, the sound echoing around her. _StarClan thinks I can handle it, though, or they wouldn't have given me the task of taking care of all this...although I doubt they know about everything Chillpaw is planning._

_I'd like to help him, and I know if I don't I'd feel terribly guilty...I've only been in the Dark Forest for a few minutes at a time, but even with such short visits, I know that it would be __terrible to be confined there...trapped, as Chillpaw said. But even with all that, I can't listen to them relating their crimes, I _can't. _I don't want to hear about all the cats they murdered, how they slaughtered them without remorse...I don't even want to think about my leader losing a life, let alone these cats murdering even more innocents...and what's worse, none of them feel guilty about it. If they did, they'd be in StarClan, right? Whatever they did, they did with no remorse. And I'm just not so sure that I can help those kinds of cats get into life again...it doesn't seem fair, not with all the good cats that don't get to go back...although, I guess it's like Chillpaw said, they deserve a second chance, whereas good cats don't need them..._

She thought of her brother, feeling longing rise up within her. _He's lucky he doesn't have to deal with any of this. He doesn't have creepy dead cats haunting his dreams, or ghostly StarClan dreams, or a dangerous journey..._

"You're not alone, you know," a voice whispered next to her, and Sootpaw nearly leaped out of her pelt with fright. She glanced to her side and saw Moonpaw's eyes sparkling at her, even though there was no light for them to shine in. She realized that the tunnel had widened; most cats were walking in pairs, or in rows of three, shoulder-to-shoulder.

_I know I'm not alone, so long as I've got you,_ she thought gratefully, and Moonpaw somehow managed to give her a dazzling smart, her fangs glittering as bright as daylight.

"And I'll never leave you, remember?" she purred. "I'll always be here when you need me...especially when you have to make tough decisions."

_Please, Moonpaw, I told you I don't want to talk about it._

"Do you think it's just going to go away? Chillpaw and the others are waiting, Sootpaw. They're counting on you to save them. You've got to be their hero."

_Right now I think I'm trying to be the hero for too many cats. AshClan and PeakClan are expecting me to return with the forest-sickness cure, and StarClan is expecting me to do...something with the dreams they're giving me._

"Don't worry about those things, sillypaws! You've got the day to figure those out. It's your nights that belong to Chillpaw."

Her fur bristled. _I don't want to have to _belong _to anyone._

"Don't get all prickly with me; if you turn into Spiderpaw, we can't be friends anymore," the jet-black apprentice teased. "Seriously, though. I think you should give them a chance, even if you're not quite comfortable. You're just trying to bring them into the light. What could be more noble than that?"

_But I don't want to listen to their crimes! I already feel like I know too much about the darkness of cats. I'm afraid if I hear much more, I'll start having nightmares completely independent of Chillpaw's influence..._

She felt Moonpaw lick her shoulder. "Don't worry," the blue-eyed apprentice mewed, her voice soft and tender, almost like a mother's. "I'll look after you. That's what friends are for."

She found the smallest of smiles inching its way over her face. _I know, Moonpaw. I can always count on you._

"If you're so uncomfortable with all this, why not try something else?" Moonpaw suggested. "Maybe you'd be more comfortable with them if you could get to know them first. I mean, lots of cats to bad things, but that doesn't mean they're bad cats...and even if they are, no one's _all _bad. I mean, look at Northstar; a year ago he probably would have gone straight to the Dark Forest, but now he's a good tom. He's on our side. Maybe that can happen to the rest of the Dark Forest cats too."

Sootpaw blinked slowly. _Maybe that will work...I'm not sure. _Her ears suddenly pricked as the faintest sound of rushing water reached her ears. _What is...?_

"You hear that?" Bluepaw whispered, but even her quietest whisper was practically a shout in the caves.

"Yeah, I-" Sootpaw broke off as Tremor let out a warning growl.

"Everyone, be quiet. I'm not sure what is going on; there shouldn't be water here. Let's proceed carefully."

The group walked forward slowly, and Sootpaw moved forward so that she was walking alongside Bluepaw, the two of them barely brushing pelts. Moonpaw was on her other side, but Sootpaw didn't look at her.

The sound of flowing water grew louder and louder, until Sootpaw was certain that a colossal river was pouring just ahead of them, and that they were all about to tumble into it and drown in the darkness.

"Stop," Tremor commanded, and the group quickly halted; there was silence for a moment – save for the sound of rushing water – and then the sound of a paw hitting the water.

"I cannot reach the opposite bank, at least not with one paw," Tremor said, sounding concerned. "I can't tell how far across the river is. I am sorry, everyone; there is not supposed to be any water here. We don't use this tunnel very often; I think the rains must have flooded the adjacent tunnel. They cross here, the second one a little lower than this one, which created this stream...or river."

"Should we turn back?" Bluepaw asked anxiously. "Can we go another way?"

"That would just be wasting more time! We've been down here awhile already!" Thistlethorn exclaimed. "We should see if we can make it over."

"PeakClan jumps over rivers and such all the time." Swanpaw's tone was haughty. "Maybe you AshClan cats can't manage it, but we could. I bet I could leap over it very easily."

"We can't take the chance. If you don't make it, it would almost certainly be fatal," Tremor growled. "We'll turn back. Everyone, flatten yourselves to the wall, give me room to pass you so I can lead us back. We'll have to go through the tunnel by which you arrived. It'll take more time in the long run, but we'll be safer, and-"

"We can't waste any more time!" Swanpaw hissed. "PeakClan is depending on us back home! We've got to move as quickly as we can."

The rushing water seemed to fill Sootpaw's ears, and for a moment she did not see the blackness of the cave, but RiverClan warriors pushing their way through a powerful current, trailed by two others, one of which was steadily losing ground...

_Nightpaw, _she thought. _Swanpaw._

"Swanpaw, don't!" someone – Brackenpaw? - shouted. "We can't take the chance-"

"I can do it!" Swanpaw spat, and Sootpaw could almost hear her crouching, almost hear her muscles coiling to spring-

"No!" Sootpaw shouted, but there was the sound of claws scraping against stone, as Swanpaw sprang into the air. And then there was a splash, the sound of a terrified yowl, and a second splash as another cat hit the water. For a moment the tunnels were filled with fear-scent and splashing and voices, all jumbling together into an uproarious din. All Sootpaw could see were Nightpaw's terrified eyes, as the dark apprentice was torn away from her Clanmates by the chilling cruelty of the river.

And then there was a pained grunt, the sound of wet paws slapping stone, and Tremor yowled for the others to get back, to make way. And slowly, Sootpaw heard the sound of one cat, no two, clawing their way out of the water.

"Are they okay? Swanpaw? What's happening?" Brackenpaw exclaimed; all that answered his cries were the sound of coughs and water dripping onto cool stone. Someone let out an exhausted gasp; someone else let out a whispered 'thank you,' followed by a loud, "I'm okay, Brackenpaw! Quit bawling, you sound like a kit!"

Sootpaw felt a rush of relief, followed by a rush of dislike for the white-and-ginger apprentice.

"What happened?" she meowed, more to herself than the others; Nightpaw was still in her mind, disappearing from sight as she was dragged farther downriver by the cruel current.

"It's okay," Swanpaw's rescuer – Sage – said, his voice tight and breathless. "It's okay. I got her. She didn't make it to the other bank, but I caught her and dragged her back. She's okay."

"You stupid furball! You could have gotten killed!" Brackenpaw yowled, his loud voice hurting Sootpaw's years.

"Are you sure you're both okay?" Rabbitleap asked anxiously. "You're both soaked now, I'm sure! You'll catch a chill in this cold old cave for sure! We need to warm them up, Tremor, right away!"

Tremor let out a gusty sigh, tempered partially by relief that the white tom was alright. "Yes. We'll need to get them dried off and start down the other tunnel. Move to the side, everyone. Let me and Sage get through."

The journeying cats did as they were told, but space was still tight; Sage's wet fur brushed against her pelt as he walked past, and she went rigid.

"Come on," Tremor rumbled, behind her now, and she obediently turned to follow him.

_Swanpaw's really okay? _She thought, feeling as though she was still in a daze. _Thank StarClan for that...thank StarClan my dream didn't come true. But the dreams are starting to make more sense, aren't they? They're very similar to our journey in some ways – four warriors from each Clan, losing one apprentice early on, and a drowning later – but also different – only two Clans on our journey, and Swanpaw didn't actually drown...Sage managed to save her. What does it that mean, though? Is our journey somehow linked to the other one? Or is it just a coincidence? Is StarClan really sending these for a reason...?_

_Yes, I think that's obvious now. I don't know why, but our journeys are similar. For whatever reason, these connections matter...and by sharing these dreams with me, StarClan is trying to...warn me about the coming dangers. _She let out a quiet breath. _But I still couldn't help, could I? I couldn't save Jaypaw, or Swanpaw, even though I knew something was going to happen..._Her ears flattened. _If I had been closer, then maybe I could have stopped her...oh, StarClan, don't let her or Sage get sick because of this!_

She let out a quiet breath. _If these dreams really are a warning, then StarClan is trusting me with them...not Bluepaw, not Shimmerfrost, not Silverstar, but _me. _I have to do better next time. I have to make sure I am worthy of these signs, because otherwise they're useless..._

_And I've got to keep my promises. I already told Chillpaw I'd help him, and I will; I won't go back on my word. But we're going to do it my way. I won't allow evil cats to reclaim life, not when they don't show a scrap of remorse. But...I think they do. Surely even Chillpaw has that buried somewhere inside of him, underneath all the snow and ice...every cat is decent at the core. I believe that. Sometimes it's just harder to find that core, that goodness. So I'll help him find it, and show everyone, even StarClan, that just because a cat is cold or dark doesn't have to mean he's evil. And maybe...maybe I can help Silverstar, too. Maybe I can help her see again that every cat deserves a second chance, that her giving Chillpaw a second chance really _did _help him, he just wasn't ready to show it..._

_He did hesitate, in those final moments before he struck. I saw it, over and over. I saw it, I felt it. He was torn. Maybe...maybe that's why he really showed it to me over and over. Maybe he wanted to show me what he himself isn't ready to admit._

_I'll help him, and the others too. I'll help them in any way I can. Because that's what a hero is supposed to be...right? A savior, one who looks out for others that can't look out for themselves..._

_I want to be a hero._


	24. C h a p t e r 23

**C _h a p t e r _23**

Spiderpaw glanced over his shoulder, on edge, feeling as though every hair was standing on end.

"What's the matter?" Blackpaw asked curiously, cocking her head to one side. "I told you, Fireblaze and Redpaw aren't around. There's nothing to be scared of."

"Yeah, the coast is clear. Relax," Robinpaw giggled, nudging his shoulder playfully. "You've hardly touched your squirrel, and I went through so much trouble to get it for you!"

Blackpaw rolled her eyes. "_I'm _the one who caught it."

"Yeah, but I flushed it out for you! It heard me staggering around and ran right into your paws," Robinpaw grinned, then nipped Spiderpaw's shoulder. He flinched, and she frowned. "Seriously, what's up? You've been acting weirdly all morning."

"Nothing's wrong," he growled, heating under his fur from embarrassment. In reality, he could feel her cold gaze on his pelt, even though when he turned around Shimmerfrost was nowhere in sight; he knew she hadn't seen him crouched in the shadows, watching her do whatever she had been doing, but he couldn't help but feel that she was creeping up right behind him, preparing to stop him from ever breathing her secret aloud.

"You don't look like nothing's wrong," Blackpaw mewed, touching his flank with her tail. "Are you sure that everything's really okay? Fireblaze didn't rough you up yesterday, did he?"

He pulled away from her touch. "I can take care of myself, thank you," he snapped. "And don't think that Fireblaze would have beaten me up without getting a few slashes for his trouble. I don't need you watching over me. You can't fight anyway."

Blackpaw's eyes gleamed with hurt, and she quickly looked down at her paws; Robinpaw frowned at him.

"There you go again, saying mean things. Blackpaw was just asking."

"Yeah, well, I don't need her looking after me! She hates it when Fireblaze does it, so why would she think I'd like it?" he snapped, tail lashing. He pushed the squirrel towards the ginger she-cat roughly. "You take it. I'm not hungry."

Robinpaw let out a quiet huff of a sigh. "Alright, furball, you're in a bad mood, we get it. Take it to Jaggedclaw, then. Blackpaw and I already ate, remember?"

He shot a glance towards the elders den; Jaggedclaw was sitting outside, resting his muzzle on his paws, but Spiderpaw couldn't read his expression.

_Hopefully he isn't depressed again...although I don't know why he would be. Maybe I can coax him to come over here again; he needs to build his strength._

Without another word, he rose to his paws, trotting towards the scarred tom; Jaggedclaw's good ear pricked slightly as Spiderpaw approached, but otherwise he did not move.

"Ready to get your fresh-kill?" Spiderpaw asked, flicking his tail towards the two female apprentices and the squirrel. Jaggedclaw yawned slowly.

"Maybe later," he grunted, his breath coming out in a quiet sigh. Spiderpaw frowned down at him.

"What's the matter now?"

Jaggedclaw closed his eye. "Nothing. I'm fine. Go and play with Blackpaw and Robinpaw; they're your friends. You don't need to bring me fresh-kill anymore, so there's no reason you should be stuck with me."

Spiderpaw snorted. "Stuck with you? To hear you complain, you're stuck with _me._"

Jaggedclaw didn't say anything; Spiderpaw tapped his muzzle impatiently with his tail; Jaggedclaw twisted his head, and Spiderpaw quickly pulled away before the scarred tom nipped his white-tipped tail off. "Come on, what's wrong? You're moping. You shouldn't be moping. You can walk; you didn't think you'd ever do that again, remember? I bet in time you could even join patrols, and stuff like that-"

"I should have been on patrols," Jaggedclaw said with a quiet growl. "I should have been providing for my Clan all these moons, not lying here feeling sorry for myself."

Spiderpaw blinked, perplexed. "But you couldn't. You didn't have the herbs."

He dug his claws into the ground. "I should have _tried. _After the accident, I just gave up, and I drifted apart from everyone...I isolated myself. And Reedrush kept trying to penetrate the walls I was throwing up to hide myself, but I just kept pushing her farther and farther away...and now she's gone."

"She's not gone. She'll be back in a moon...I bet even less than that. I bet the journey will be over way before then," he meowed quickly. "And when Northstar and Sootpaw get back, they'll tell you all about Reedrush and how much she misses you."

"She shouldn't miss me!" Jaggedclaw spat, becoming suddenly animated; his eye snapped open, and his fur bristled. Spiderpaw flinched, and Jaggedclaw's fur flattened itself.

"Why not? I thought you kind of...well, you're friends at the very least," he said tentatively.

Jaggedclaw stared down at his broad paws. "She shouldn't miss me. She deserves better. I always let down everyone I...care for. I betray them. I don't want that for her. Or...you." He shifted his weight, so that he was facing the den instead of the camp. "Go on. Return to your fellow apprentices. I'll fetch my own fresh-kill later."

Spiderpaw hesitated, but Jaggedclaw was obviously in a dark mood and not to be trifled with. He sighed quietly, and turned away.

. . .

"I don't get why we have to go on these extra patrols now," Spiderpaw grumbled. "I was on one yesterday...and besides, it's not likely that we're going to find anything anyway. We didn't find _her_ until she wanted to be found, remember?" He jerked his tail towards Leopardpaw.

"We go on these extra patrols because Eaglestrike ordered us to," Forestheart said softly. "He's concerned about the rogues. He thinks looking for them is better than doing nothing at all."

"And what do you think?" Leopardpaw asked, drawing her gaze away from the sky, blinking at the brown tabby. Forestheart's green gaze rolled towards her over his shoulder.

"What I think doesn't matter. I'm not the deputy...and Eaglestrike is currently acting as the leader for AshClan." There was no denying the note of bitterness in the usually-lighthearted tom's voice.

"I'm sure Silverstar agrees; being vigilant is the best way to make sure our borders are secure, after all," Petalcloud mewed gently. "Besides, the Twolegplace rogues might not be as good at hiding as Leopardpaw, here."

Leopardpaw let out a quiet purr. "I doubt anyone's as good as me," she meowed, shooting Spiderpaw a glance; he stared back at her stonily, irked by her arrogant attitude.

"Hiding and being sneaky aren't everything," he retorted, but she simply twitched her whiskers at him, obviously amused.

"Stealth can be very important in battle; it can allow you to get the edge over your opponent," Petalcloud pointed out, shifting gears from patrolling to mentoring with ease.

"Yeah, but if we're going to fight a huge gang of rogues, they're going to be expecting us," Spiderpaw argued. "You might be able to surprise them and have enough time to attack one, but after that they'll be ready."

"But that one cat might make all the difference, if we're outnumbered, or if I can get the leader before anyone can react," Leopardpaw meowed.

"Yeah, but the odds of the _leader _being unaware of you are slim to-"

"Be quiet," Forestheart growled, suddenly going rigid; the apprentices stopped bickering at once, opening their mouths to scent whatever had set the tabby tom on edge.

_It's those Twolegplace cats again, _Spiderpaw thought, wrinkling his nose with distaste. _But we're pretty close to the river right now...they've come a long way into our territory. They might even venture over to PeakClan's soon...that will be a lot of trouble for everyone, since I'm sure the arrogant furballs will blame us somehow._

"The scent is faint, but recent," Forestheart said softly, his ears swiveling around to catch any suspicious sounds. "I'd guess they started off by rolling in damp ferns to disguise their scents, but it's beginning to wear off. They might even still be around here, so I want everyone on their guard, understood?" His green eyes were narrowed slightly as he looked at Spiderpaw and Leopardpaw. Spiderpaw bristled.

_I know how to be quiet, thanks, _he thought crabbily. _I thought Forestheart was supposed to be the relaxed one? Whenever I see him or whenever he's talking about my father, he always looks like he has a bunch of thorns stuck in his tail...He obviously doesn't care for Eaglestrike, for whatever reason, but that's no reason to act like I don't know what I'm doing!_

The patrol continued on their way more slowly, tensing as they neared the river; the sound of rushing water easily disguised any quiet pawsteps. Spiderpaw's gaze shot around the area furtively, but all he could scent was PeakClan's scent-marker.

Gradually the Twolegplace-cat scent began to fade, but it was clearly making Forestheart more worried, rather than less.

_If the ferns or whatever they used started wearing off, then as their scent gets weaker we're getting closer to where they came from, _Spiderpaw pondered. _And if there are more of them lying in wait..._

They followed the Black Stream towards the Thunderpath, but there was still no signs of the rogues' initial entry; they neared Twolegplace, and Forestheart raised his tail, signaling for the group to fall into a half-crouch and proceed carefully.

Spiderpaw winced as thorns brushed up against his belly; moving in a half-crouch was awkward, forcing him to take longer strides than normal, with his weight on his shoulders. They began to ache after only a few minutes; glancing to the side, he saw that Leopardpaw was moving with practiced ease, practically slithering over the ground like an adder.

Then, Forestheart stopped, his fur bristling; it took Spiderpaw only a moment to realize why as he opened his mouth to scent. Twolegplace rogue scent hung heavily in the air, cloaking the other scents of the forest. It was old, older than the scents that had found earlier, but at least ten times stronger.

_It's a scent-marker. They put it here on purpose, _Spiderpaw realized.

Slowly, Forestheart rose out of his crouch, opening his mouth again to catch more of the scent. Petalcloud did the same, her amber eyes widening.

"There's at least ten cats," she mewed, looking to the tabby tom for confirmation. He nodded tersely.

"But why would they leave this scent all over the place? They were trying to be sneaky in our territory by disguising it," Spiderpaw meowed. "Why put a scent-marker right here?"

Petalcloud trotted forwards, following the scent for a short distance, before returning to the patrol with a frown. "It's very concentrated; it doesn't go far down like most scent-marker's do," she mewed. "They aren't trying to create a territory line here, and show where their territory ends and ours begins. They aren't trying to claim more of the forest."

"So why did they do it? Why take the time?" Spiderpaw demanded.

"Because," Leopardpaw said, her soft voice causing the others to turn towards her. "It's not a claim to the territory. It's a message. Carmelo is telling us that his rogues are here...and they don't care if we know."

. . .

"Forestheart's patrol has brought us back troubling news," Eaglestrike meowed from atop the BranchPile, the sun setting behind him, giving his fur a golden glow. "Forestheart, if you would."

Forestheart rose to his paws, standing near the medicine den; Silverstar stood beside him, leaning on him for support. "Carmelo and his group of cats have left us a scent-marker, near our border with Twolegplace," he growled. "We know it's Carmelo, because Amber wouldn't have bothered; also, there were distinctly male scents in the marker, and Amber doesn't allow her males to have those sorts of privileges. We believe it's a message to us; Carmelo's forces have obviously grown stronger, and he might be making a move to invade our territory. He might have already overwhelmed Amber; I don't see how else his cats could have entered our territory so easily. We need to anticipate a potential strike against us in the coming days."

"He's only trying to intimidate us," Stormshadow rumbled, sitting to the right of Petalcloud with Fireblaze and Blackpaw on his other side. "If Carmelo intended to actually fight us, he wouldn't have given us warning. He just wants us to become paranoid."

Eaglestrike nodded. "That was my first thought as well. However, it could be more than that; Northstar enjoyed intimidating his opponents and messing with their heads before he struck; that's how he managed to fell MarshClan. Unfortunately for Carmelo, we're a tougher nut to crack. I am sure that I don't even need to say to you all that we will not be intimidated, and we will not back down."

The Clan murmured in agreement, but Spiderpaw could see the flicker of fear in several cats' eyes. _Are they remembering the last time we fought Carmelo? _He wondered. _My father helped lead that battle, when Carmelo's cats teamed up with Lion's...my father led the battle against Blight. _He felt a flicker of warmth at the thought. _And now he'll do so again, I have no doubt._

"We'll need more patrols, of course," Eaglestrike continued, "and I also want them to be larger. At least three warriors on each patrol. We'll need two extra patrols between the dawn and sunhigh patrols, and the sunhigh and dusk patrols. We'll also need to contact PeakClan soon to make sure they're aware of the threat, but I think it would be best to wait until Northstar returns." He paused for a moment, his yellow eyes clouding over; Spiderpaw knew he was thinking of Sootpaw, probably praying for her safe return.

Silverstar gave a quiet cough, and the Clans' attention turned to her; she gave them all a small smile.

"Eaglestrike is right when he says that we will not be easy for Carmelo to intimidate," she meowed. "But I want you all to be careful. Don't work too hard, and don't go over your limits. A tired Clan is a Clan half beaten. Right now, remaining healthy is the most important thing." Forestheart licked her ear gently, and she touched her muzzle to his shoulder.

"I would also like to thank Eaglestrike, for leading AshClan in this tough time," she continued. "He's done a remarkable job thus far, and I'm proud to have him as my deputy. Spiderpaw, you should be proud too." He blinked as she fixed him with her warm blue gaze, and felt the Clan's eyes upon him; he ruffled his fur uncomfortably, before nodding. Silverstar smiled.

"Hopefully things will be brighter when Northstar comes back to us. I'm sure the iceleaf plant will be helpful in some way...and Northstar is also a brilliant strategist. I suppose this is another time that we'll have to put our personal feelings aside and work together with PeakClan. Everyone, remember that they are our allies; their warriors fought and died on the battlefield the same as Brightfire and Rainsplash did. We should honor PeakClan's warriors with as much respect as we give to our own."

The Clan again murmured in agreement, and Silverstar returned to the medicine den without another word, followed by Forestheart; Eaglestrike sprang down from the BranchPile, signaling that the Clan meeting was over.

"You were on the patrol that found the scents, weren't you?" Spiderpaw turned to find Blizzardpaw blinking at him curiously, Robinpaw at his side. He nodded.

"Were you scared?" Robinpaw asked eagerly. "Were there a lot of scents? Did they surprise you, or did you think they were going to be there?"

"I wasn't scared," he said immediately. "It was a little weird scenting so many cats and not knowing where they were, but it wasn't terrifying or anything. And yeah, there were a lot of scents...ten, maybe? They obviously wanted to make an impression. We sort of scented them earlier, but the scent was really weak, too weak to really follow, so we just continued the patrol."

Blizzardpaw looked concerned. "They're really bold, to leave a big smelly marker like that. You guys replaced it with one of our own, right?"

Spiderpaw nodded. "Of course. If we hadn't, we would have looked weak, like we were afraid of their challenge."

Robinpaw shivered. "I would have been terrified, thinking that they could be watching us without us even knowing it. What if they had attacked you?"

"I don't know," Spiderpaw said quietly; it was a sobering thought, but one that he had pondered the entire way back to camp.

"It would have been bad...but I don't think Forestheart would let anything stop him from getting back to Silverstar," Blizzardpaw meowed, glancing towards the medicine den. "Not when she needs him the most."

"Same with Petalcloud," Robinpaw mewed. "She's got Blackpaw and Fireblaze to fight for."

_What about me? Or Leopardpaw? Who would we be fighting for? _His gaze found the dappled she-cat, relaxing in the shadows of the branches above. He felt a chill run down his spine. _Would she even fight at all?_

He blinked, realizing that Blizzardpaw and Robinpaw were looking at him curiously. "What?"

"I asked if you were looking forward to seeing Sootpaw again," Blizzardpaw said with a smile. "She should be back in a day or two, right?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah. I guess." He wasn't sounding very convincing; Robinpaw looked puzzled. "I mean, it'll be good to have her back at camp," he clarified. "But, at the same time...she sneaked away for a reason. And I don't want her to be unhappy when she gets back. Plus it's not exactly safe around here anymore, with the chilling disease and Carmelo's cats..."

Robinpaw nodded in agreement, but Blizzardpaw looked thoughtful. "I think it'll be good to see her again. She'll have all sorts of stories to tell, I'm sure. Maybe she'll have something great to say about Jaypaw, wouldn't that be nice?" He nudged Robinpaw gently. Worry clouded her green eyes, and Spiderpaw guessed that Robinpaw would be elated if Jaypaw was coming home.

_Is she going to be jealous when Sootpaw gets home, that I have my sister back and she doesn't? _He wondered. It was a troubling thought; he had already grown used to having her company, in the few days since she started talking to him.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see," Robinpaw sighed. "For once, I'm actually looking forward to Northstar getting back, too. I must be going crazy, because he's definitely more dangerous than Carmelo."

"He's smarter," Blizzardpaw said thoughtfully, "but not quite more dangerous. At least not for us. He is helping us with the disease, after all; he could have simply left in secret and returned with only enough of the cure for his own Clan."

Robinpaw nodded in agreement, before flicking her green gaze towards the sky; Spiderpaw followed her, blinking as he saw that the moon had already climbed part of the way into the sky; he had lost track of the time.

"It's getting late; with all these new patrols, we're going to want to be well-rested, I suppose," Robinpaw said, flicking her tail against Blizzardpaw's side. "Come on."

Blizzardpaw gave Spiderpaw a small nod as he passed, and Spiderpaw watched him go curiously. _Is Blizzardpaw on my side too now? _He wondered, before glancing towards the shadows where Leopardpaw had been lying; she was gone. _Of course. _

He sighed, yawning so hard it felt as though his jaw would snap, before padding into the apprentice den and curling up in his nest. He rested his muzzle on his paws, closing his eyes, pretending to sleep; he would wait for awhile before nudging Blackpaw and taking her to the training clearing as he did every night.

_Robinpaw's right about being well-rested with all these coming patrols, _he thought wearily. _I'd love to just stay here in my nest and not have to worry about training...but unfortunately, I don't think Blackpaw will ever become a warrior without my help...she might not earn her warrior name even _with _my help. Half the time I'm not even sure I'm making any progress..._

His thoughts were faintly fuzzy, but he didn't mind; he was too tired to attempt to straighten them out. He bottled up another yawn, shifting his muzzle so that he was slightly more comfortable, letting out a gentle sigh.

Some time later, he felt a paw nudge his muzzle gently; he shifted away from the touch, only to have the paw poke him again. His eyes opened slowly, and he frowned up at the apprentice who had woken him; Blackpaw stared down at him, her golden eyes glowing in the moonlight.

"Did you not want to be woken up?" she whispered. "Were we taking tonight off? I'm sorry, I didn't know!"

Spiderpaw blinked, realizing to his chagrin that he had unintentionally fallen asleep. He let out a growl, and Blackpaw flinched.

"I wasn't growling at you. I didn't mean to fall asleep. Come on." He rose to his paws, padding towards the entrance of the apprentice den, only to glare up at the moon; it was much higher than it had been before, nearly to the very pinnacle of its path. "How long did you wait to wake me?"

"A little while," she admitted. "I was nervous, and I didn't want to wake you up if you really wanted to sleep...plus, you looked kind of peaceful, you know? Usually your face is kind of twisted and smirky and you're glaring at everything, but...I figured I'd let you get some rest."

"Well, don't do it again," he snapped. "This training is more important. Come on."

They padded out of camp together, onto a carpet of crackling leaves; Spiderpaw winced with each step, imagining all of AshClan being awoken by the noise.

"At least this way we know Carmelo's cats can't sneak up on us," Blackpaw offered, but her joke was met with only silence.

They neared the Moss Clearing, and Spiderpaw paused for a moment, ears swiveling in case they had been followed. He heard nothing, and signaled for Blackpaw to take her usual place.

"Let's start like we always do," he said, a note of weariness in his voice as he crouched. Blackpaw watched him silently, waiting for his move; he didn't waste any time, rushing towards her with paws outstretched. Before he even hit her, he knew he would; she had a troubled, distracted look in her golden eyes.

She hit the ground with a thud, but this time he didn't get off of her like he normally would. He glared down at her, and she blinked up at him innocently.

"Guess what? You're dead again," he growled down at her. "What could possibly be more important to you than this training? You're trying to become a warrior, remember? It's been a quarter moon since your brother was named a warrior; it's been over a moon since he _earned _his warrior name! Do you really want to be that much of a loser? Are you really that okay with being so far behind?"

Her ears flattened. "Spiderpaw, I'm sorry. I was just thinking..."

His fur bristled. "Just thinking isn't good enough!" he spat, fur bristling. "I'm wasting my time here every night, trying to help you out! You've proven to me before that you can dodge my attacks, even attack me if you're angry. You're making strides, but you're wasting everything because you're distracted and unwilling to train! What in StarClan's name could be so important that you're throwing all this training away?"

She swallowed. "Nothing," she mumbled. Spiderpaw let out an infuriated hiss.

"It's not just nothing, it's something. Fess up, because I'm not getting off of you until you do. I don't care if Fireblaze himself stumbles onto this little scene, I'm not moving."

"I was just...wondering if we were...friends," Blackpaw mumbled, flushing underneath her dark fur with embarrassment.

Spiderpaw stared down at her, confused. There were a hundred other things he would have guessed that she was thinking of before _that. _

He didn't say anything, and Blackpaw blinked up at him, looking worried. "I'm sorry, Spiderpaw, I was just thinking...I mean, you're pretty grumpy with everyone, but sometimes it seems that you're snappier to me than the others...and you don't really like talking to me or eating with me even when Fireblaze isn't around, so..." She let her voice trail off and dropped her gaze from his face to his chest, looking flustered.

Spiderpaw released her, taking a step back, and she rose to her paws nervously. "Spiderpaw...?"

"I don't know if we're friends or not," he said flatly, "but I don't want to be."

Her golden eyes widened, gleaming with hurt, but he ignored it. "You keep saying you want to become a warrior, but you let dumb stuff like this get in your way. Who cares if we're friends or not? Your enemies certainly won't, and those are who you have to be thinking about! Carmelo's sending rogues into our territory; do you honestly think we're not going to end up fighting him? A battle is certainly coming, Blackpaw, and we've got to be prepared. Silverstar isn't going to be the only sick cat, there will be more. And that makes every healthy cat that much more important. Your Clan is depending on you, but instead of working hard and proving yourself, you're filling your head with dumb thoughts. I expect better than that out of any cat I can call a friend."

"Spiderpaw," she mewed again, her voice a choked little whisper.

"Don't 'Spiderpaw' me," he snapped. "I'm sick of this, Blackpaw. If you're not going to work hard, why should I? I've been running myself ragged with all this dirt; I've been trying to look out for you and Jaggedclaw and my sister and everything else. If you're not willing to step up and act like a warrior, fine, but don't drag me down with you. If you're not going to work hard, then I'm not going to stay up until dawn trying to train you." He turned away. "Come and find me again when you're ready to actually put some effort into this; don't talk to me again until you are."

With that, he padded away, pushing through the brush and stomping on the fallen leaves with reckless abandon, half-hoping that one of Carmelo's rogues would spring at him just so he could finally have someone to fight. He let out a furious hiss, digging his claws into the leaves.

_Why can't she focus on something actually important? There's a sickness overrunning the Clan, Carmelo is threatening us, and she's far behind her brother in becoming a warrior...and yet the only thing she can think of is whether or not we're _friends? _She keeps saying that she's trying, but I'm not seeing it! I'm not seeing anything but her cowering and flinching and hiding behind her big strong brother. She's not taking any of this seriously, and that's what really gets underneath my fur. I'm not staying up all night exhausting myself so we can play little games and have adorable friendship bonding sessions. There are more important things than that at stake!_

He heard a quiet crackle and froze, first thinking that Blackpaw had followed him; as he heard another crackle, he realized that the sound was coming in front of him rather than behind him.

_Leopardpaw? _He wondered, eyes narrowed. He pricked his ears, trying to hear, and it was only then that he realized he had drifted towards the river after stomping out of the Moss Clearing.

_Shimmerfrost? _A chill ran down his spine; the last thing he needed was to run into the crazed she-cat leaving her lover. He hesitated, but there was nowhere he could go, at least not quietly.

_Unless..._His eyes drifted upwards toward the trees; they were thin and spindly against the cold sky, almost completely barren of leaves. He crouched, wincing at the sound of his fur brushing against the carpet of leaves, before springing up as high as he could. His claws dug into the thick lower branch of an old maple. He swiped his tongue over his muzzle nervously, his eyes darting around below him; he couldn't see anything through the brush and branches.

_If it is Leopardpaw, I need to see what she's up to, _he decided, and slunk forward, careful to keep his claws tight against the bark. He continued until it began to dip slightly under his weight, then paused, sweeping his gaze over the forest floor once more. His heart sank into his paws as he made out two slim figures. Their fur was alight with starlight, but it didn't matter; he knew their eyes all too well.

_Leopardpaw and Shimmerfrost meeting up. Figures. _His eyes narrowed and he leaned forward slightly, trying to get a better view.

"I was just getting herbs," Shimmerfrost hissed, her voice low. "Is that a crime? Lavender helps with chills, and in case you weren't paying attention, Silverstar isn't exactly feeling well."

"The lavender isn't quite fresh; you didn't just pick it," Leopardpaw said calmly. "Don't pretend I'm a fool. I'm no medicine cat, but you'd be surprised what I've picked up on."

Spiderpaw's breath caught in his throat. _Has Leopardpaw seen Shimmerfrost with that PeakClan tom too? One dangerous she-cat with information over another dangerous she-cat is exactly what AshClan _doesn't _need right now..._

Shimmerfrost let out a low hiss. "I was taking some time to myself, you're right. Wanting some time away from a coughing leader and her smothering mate isn't exactly a crime either."

Leopardpaw's white fangs seemed to glow in the darkness as she smiled. "No...but a medicine cat taking a mate is. Especially a mate that isn't from her own Clan."

It was too dark for Spiderpaw to be sure what happened next; one moment Shimmerfrost was looking haughty, the next she was hissing down at Leopardpaw, who was pinned underneath of her.

"I suggest you keep your pretty mouth shut," the silver tabby snarled. "I will gladly shut it for you. Who I mate with is my business, not yours."

Leopardpaw was unafraid, despite the spitting medicine cat on top of her. "I wasn't trying to make it my business, Shimmerfrost. I was only trying to give you a friendly warning. If you continue to be so careless, it's only a matter of time until you're caught."

"Your concern for my well-being is touching, but entirely unnecessary," Shimmerfrost said icily, her temper already beginning to ebb away, replaced by her usual chilly demeanor. He could practically smell her suspicion.

"I don't have a problem with the mating thing at all, really," Leopardpaw meowed mildly. "I think it's a rather foolish rule, myself. I really don't see the point in forbidden medicine cats to have relationships; it seems like it would just make you long for them more, wouldn't it?"

Shimmerfrost let out another quiet hiss. "Stop playing games. What do you want? I know your kind; you don't do anything for anyone unless they can pay you back somehow. What kind of favor are you after."

"My kind? Shimmerfrost, we're practically birds of a feather." Her white smile gleamed again. "I'm not after any favors. I only wanted to let you know that you should be more careful...and that if you don't like the system, there are better ways to force it to change than simply acting out..."

_What exactly is she suggesting? _His claws dug into the bark, and it was all he could do not to snarl at the smug apprentice. _I knew she was bad news! But there's nothing I can do about it right now. She hasn't actually _done _anything beyond being a giant creep...and Shimmerfrost would never back me up, not without potentially exposing herself...I've got to wait for Leopardpaw to really make her move, as infuriating as it is...and I've got to try to get closer to her. That's the only way I'll ever really be able to catch her._

Shimmerfrost's lip curled. "I'm not interested in anything you have, little kit," she sneered. "I'm content with my life."

Leopardpaw purred so quietly that Spiderpaw could barely hear her. "That's not what I see. But believe that if you want, it's no skin off my nose. Let me up, if you would. I've got places to be tonight."

"I bet," Shimmerfrost hissed, but she took a step back. Leopardpaw rose smoothly to her paws, giving herself a little shake, before disappearing into the shadows of the trees; Shimmerfrost watched her go, eyes narrowed. Spiderpaw's breath caught in his throat as Shimmerfrost turned towards his hiding place.

_Don't let her scent me, don't let her scent me, _he thought anxiously, but Shimmerfrost only looked up at the sky thoughtfully, before turning and heading in the opposite direction.

Spiderpaw was motionless until the moon dipped towards the horizon; only then did he believe that the two she-cats were gone, and only then did he descend from his perch and pad in the direction of camp, imagining every crackle of the leaves to be a dangerous she-cat sneaking up on him.

**AN: Yay, it's October! And do you know what that means? NaNo is just a month away! I'm super-duper excited. Anyway, I'll be doing the usual blog update when this chapter is posted, but I'll also have some stuff about my NaNo up too; I'm going to need you guys' help. So, if you're not one of my readers who usually visit the blog anyway, please do so after I post this chapter (gimme like half an hour or something to write everything up, I'm pretty slow with all that xD), so you guys can see what I need you to do. It's not a big deal or anything, so don't sweat it, just something I thought might be fun for my loyal readers. Thanks! :D**

**(Link to the blog is still on my profile, in case you've forgotten.)**


	25. C h a p t e r 24

**C _h a p t e r _24**

_She blinked with surprise; one moment she had been playing with Moonpaw, and the next she was here._

But where exactly is here? _She thought, looking around with puzzlement. She was in a strange forest, a pine forest; the needles were thick underneath her paws. She craned her neck back, looking up, blinking at a squirrel chattering down at her._

_It took her a moment to realize that she was walking; when she tried to stop, she found that she could not. It was as if an invisible force was controlling her. She tried to resist for a moment, before simply relaxing, allowing the force to pull her further through the pine forest; she seemed to glide over the ground, and when she brushed up against the nearby bushes, they felt like feathers gliding over her fur._

I'm here, but not really here...is this another one of those memories? _Her question was answered almost immediately, as a group of cats entered her vision; they were lying down together, encircled by pine trees. Pricking her ears, she could hear the soft sound of water rushing over stone nearby. _The river.

"_All I'm saying is that if SkyClan had gone this way, we should have found some sign of them," one of the warriors growled, obviously irritated. It was the brown tabby tom, the first cat from ShadowClan to volunteer; Sootpaw tried to remember his name, but she couldn't._

"_Hush, Oakclaw," the white she-cat from WindClan mewed gently. "SkyClan might have been cloaking their way. We can't know for sure."_

"_Whitecloud is correct. We should remain optimistic; surely StarClan would have sent us some sign if we were going the wrong direction," Fogheart rumbled._

"_Optimistic?" a tortoiseshell spat; it was the RiverClan warrior, Amberfur, who had tried to lead them across the river, resulting in Nightpaw's death. "StarClan hasn't protected us. We've already lost two apprentices!"_

"_One of them was from your foolishness," Oakclaw growled. Amberfur's muzzle twisted in a snarl, but Fogheart quickly moved between them._

"_Please, calm yourselves. Their deaths are no one's fault; they were merely unfortunate. We know that Nightpaw and Toadpaw are in StarClan now, watching over us. Do you really think they would allow our journey to end in failure?"_

_Amberfur's next hiss was full of bitterness, but she said nothing, simply turning away and staring into the forest, her eyes slightly glazed._

"_I think we should continue; we've been here too long," Whitecloud said, a note of anxiety in her voice. "I know we're all tired, but this place...it doesn't feel safe."_

"_WindClan isn't used to be surrounded by trees, we understand, but we need time to rest," another cat meowed; Sootpaw recognized him as the other RiverClan warrior. "We've been walking nonstop for days and days, without any sign that we're going in the right direction."_

_Oakclaw dug his claws into the group. "We're wasting time, that's what we're doing. We should be on the move. I say if we don't find any sign of SkyClan in the next few days that we should turn back and follow the other branch of the river."_

"_You know as well as I do that there could be numerous branches," Fogheart said. "The only way to follow them all would be to split up, and I don't think that would be wise, considering..." He trailed off, but Sootpaw knew he was thinking of Nightpaw's death, and perhaps Toadpaw's as well._

"_So, what? Are you saying that our journey is doomed to fail?" another warrior spat. "It was your big idea to bring us all out here on a fool's quest, Fogheart. We can't go home until we find SkyClan, the leaders said so!"_

_Sootpaw noticed that most of the apprentices were silent, watching the older warriors argue; they looked worried, but too timid to interrupt. _

"_I want to go home," one whispered, her ears flat against her pale gray head; the ginger apprentice from ThunderClan touched her flank with his tail._

"_Don't worry, we'll find SkyClan, and we'll bring them home. I bet your mother is thinking of you right now. I bet she's waiting for you," he said quietly. The she-cat let out a quiet sniffle, burying her face into his fur, and he licked her ear gently. Sootpaw felt a flutter of pity for the pale she-cat; she couldn't imagine not being able to return home for moons._

Even if we failed in our mission...we would still get to go home and see everyone again, _she thought, her family appearing in her mind, their eyes glowing and pelts sleek. _They'd be happy to have us back, even if we didn't succeed...

"_Enough sitting around," Amberfur growled. "If we're all going to meet our unfortunate end somehow, if StarClan has left us, we might as well get it over with." She rose to her feet, shaking her amber-and-black coat, giving the rest of the group a glare. Slowly, the rest of the group rose with her – Sootpaw watched as the ginger ThunderClan apprentice helped the pale gray apprentice to her paws – and began to follow._

_Sootpaw trailed after them, watching them closely, wondering what she was supposed to be learning; so far nothing had happened, unless StarClan was trying to hint to her that there would be unrest during the journey. _But so long as Swanpaw's around, it's inevitable; I already knew that.

_Fogheart had moved to the head of the group, but he suddenly stiffened and held up his tail, signaling for the others to stop. Oakclaw did not stop, marching until he reached Fogheart's side; he let out a low, rumbling growl. Sootpaw opened her mouth, and caught an odd scent; it smelled like cat, but like the pine forest too, full of bitter needles and barren earth._

"_Who's there?" Fogheart called cautiously; Sootpaw was tugged forward by the strange force, until she was standing just behind him. She peered forward, yellow eyes wide, waiting to see what cat appeared._

_The shape of a large tom began to approach, light dappling his pelt; his fur was long, gray, and thick; he almost reminded her of a storm cloud. Sootpaw felt a prickle of unease as his serious amber eyes stared at the Clan cats._

"_Come no further," he rumbled. "This is not your land to tread upon."_

_Oakclaw bristled. "Get out of our way," he spat. "We're on a mission, and no flea-bitten rogue is going to deter us from that."_

_Fogheart touched his tail to Oakclaw's flank, but the tabby tom took an aggressive step forward, hissing. The rogue did not flinch._

"_Turn back; go the way you came," he said coldly._

"_We don't take orders from cats like you. StarClan has sent us here," a warrior snarled; Sootpaw turned to find that it was the male RiverClan warrior._

"_Graystorm, Oakclaw, please, don't antagonize him. Rogue, we're only here to-" Fogheart broke off as Oakclaw sprang forward. _

_The rogue moved almost soundlessly, dodging the ShadowClan warrior's attack with ease, twisting around much more quickly than Sootpaw would have believed possible for a cat of his size, and striking the tabby tom's back. Oakclaw was thrown to the ground, but the rogue simply stared down at him; Oakclaw let out a hiss of rage, but the rogue took a step back, and turned his eyes to Fogheart once more._

"_Don't say I didn't warn you," the rogue said softly, before melting away into the shadows; Sootpaw hadn't even heard his pawsteps over the dry nettles._

"_Good riddance," Oakclaw snarled, scrambling to his paws. He moved as if to go after the gray rogue, only to find Fogheart in his way._

"_He was not provoking us; he was trying to warn us of something," Fogheart hissed. "Attacking him for no reason was uncalled for. For all we know, this is his territory; he could have claimed it moons ago, before half of us were even born."_

"_Well, we aren't going to turn around because of some old fleabag," Amberfur sneered. "He was just trying to scare us away from his territory."_

"_We don't have any time to waste just because an old fool got in our way," another warrior agreed._

_Sootpaw turned to look at the apprentices, but they appeared too timid to speak. _I wonder how the first apprentice, Toadpaw, died, _she thought. _It seems that since two apprentices have already died, they aren't exactly trusting of the warriors...

"_I-I think it might be a good idea to turn back," the pale gray apprentice said. Fogheart turned to look at her over his shoulder, his eyes softening._

"_I understand, Birchpaw. I also think that it would be a good idea to heed his warning," the gray tabby agreed. _

_Oakclaw's tail lashed. "We don't have time to waste on this. If SkyClan really went this way, we're falling farther behind by the minute. If they didn't...well, we've already lost them. We have no choice but to go forward."_

_Many cats murmured in agreement, but several looked anxious. Amberfur was already moving without pausing to wait for the rest of the group; the others had little choice but to follow her. Oakclaw quickly moved to pad beside her, and together they led the group on._

_Time seemed to blur; when Sootpaw looked up at the sky, she saw the sun moving quickly, until it hovered directly over her head. She let out a quiet breath, seeing it puff in the air before her, before melting away in the blink of an eye._

_Finally, the group came to a stop; the river they had been following wound before them like a sky-blue ribbon. On either side were massive boulders, that seemed to be perched as precariously as a bird on a branch. The group looked nervous._

"_What if they fall down on us?" one of the apprentices whispered to another. _

_The ginger apprentice looked up at Fogheart. "Does this remind you of anywhere?"_

_The gray tom nodded. "SnakeRocks."_

_Even Amberfur looked slightly hesitant; she took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Come on. It's just a bunch of rocks; SkyClan would have been at home here. You WindClan cats can't complain; your jumping up and down from your big plateau all day."_

_She strode forward, confidence in her stride, Oakclaw at her side; the rest of the group trailed after her, looking anxious._

"_Please, everyone, be careful," Fogheart meowed. "This is exactly the sort of place that-"_

_A gray streak suddenly landed right in front of Amberfur; the tortoiseshell let out a yelp of surprise, and Oakclaw advanced with a hiss, only to recoil._

"_Get back!" the rogue snarled; between his claws was a limp, thin dark body. _

An adder, _she realized, her breath catching in her throat even though she was in no real danger._

_Amberfur was ashen underneath her dappled fur; she stared down at the dead adder with a mix of horror and fear._

"_I told you to stay back, but you wouldn't listen," the gray rogue snarled. "All of you, get out of here, now. There are adders crawling all over this place." As he looked over his shoulder, there was a quiet hiss from the shadows of one rock; Sootpaw saw the glint of a forked tongue, and a shudder wracked her entire body._

"_We have to get through, you don't understand," Amberfur said foggily, still in shock, but Oakclaw pushed her back, nudging her away from the rocky canyon, towards the pines once more._

"_Thank you for saving Amberfur," Fogheart said to the rogue, warmth in his voice. "We're sorry for __chasing you off before. What is your name?"_

"_It doesn't matter to you. You can call me Smoke," the gray rogue growled. "Hurry up, now. These adders aren't scared of cats, and-"_

_Sootpaw felt a sudden sharp pain in her side, and she cried out, thinking that a deadly adder had struck her; when she looked, there was nothing there. The pain jabbed at her again, and she realized that it was not coming from the dream, but rather-_

Her eyes fluttered open, and for a moment she thought that she had been blinded, her breath catching in her throat. It took her a moment to realize that she was only in the tunnels.

She was prodded again, and smacked the paw away. "I'm up, I'm up."

"Good!" Bluepaw chirped. "Tremor wants to get us moving again."

Sootpaw yawned and attempted to stretch, only to touch the cat in front of her with her front paws; whoever it was drew away with a quiet grumble, and she quickly pulled back.

"I feel like I hardly slept at all," she complained.

"Me too! But Tremor's right, we've got to move fast if we're going to make it out of here any time soon. Come on, let's go!" Bluepaw nipped her flank playfully; Sootpaw attempted to nudge her, but missed and hit the wall instead. Growling a complaint, she began to walk forward as she heard pawsteps in front of her.

_I guess that was another dream from StarClan...Bluepaw cut it short, though. I hope there wasn't anything else important...besides the canyon full of adders. _She shuddered again, remembering their gleaming eyes and slick tongues. _If we come anywhere _near _a snake, I'm going home._

She yawned slowly, wincing as her jaw made an odd noise. _I'm really hungry. I hope we get out of here soon...I could eat a whole badger. _Her stomach let out a low gurgle, and behind her she heard Bluepaw giggle. _I hope Chillpaw doesn't try to bother me tonight...I'd really like to rest, as mean as that sounds. I'm sure he's freaking out a bit, wondering if I'll come back..._She snorted to herself; trying to imagine Chillpaw with anything else but an icy cool gleam in his eyes was impossible. _Okay, maybe _he _isn't so worried. But I bet the others are...some of them are kind of scary, but some of them don't seem so bad...I guess I'll find out just how bad they were pretty soon, though, if Chillpaw has his way._

Thinking more about the Dark Forest or the journey was too exhausting, and thinking about her family was too difficult; every time she pictured her mother or father, a lump grew in her throat, attempting to choke her.

_I wish Moonpaw could visit them and tell them I'm okay, _she thought wistfully. _All she seems to be good for is saying creepy things and helping me reach dead cats._

"Love you too," the imaginary apprentice snickered beside her; this time, Sootpaw didn't attempt to look.

_I was just kidding, furball._

"Yeah, well, you had better hope that night comes soon! You've got all sorts of stuff to wrap up, you know. It's dangerous where Chillpaw and the others are, and the more time you waste, the better chance that something will happen to them!"

_That would make everything easier, I guess, _she thought, and immediately felt guilty. _Not that I want them to die. Again._

"I'm pretty sure if they died again, they'd stick around and haunt you," Moonpaw teased. Sootpaw let out a low purr, only to feel Bluepaw give her a nudge.

"What's so funny?" the blue-gray apprentice whispered.

"Nothing," Sootpaw mewed. "I was just, um, thinking. About something Spiderpaw said."

This time, it was Bluepaw who let out a quiet purr. "Your brother's pretty funny, even when he's angry. I kinda miss that right now; everything's so serious, with Jaypaw being sick and Swanpaw being mean..."

"It's a life-or-death journey, Bluepaw. It's supposed to be serious," Sootpaw remarked. She felt her friend nudge her again.

"You know what I mean. I wish he had come with us. It seems like when we get back, everything will be different..." Bluepaw's voice was a small sigh.

"Nothing will have changed," Sootpaw said quickly. "We'll still be friends, Spiderpaw will still like you, and Fireblaze will still be a furball."

Bluepaw giggled. "I don't think Fireblaze could _ever _change."

They walked in silence after that; Sootpaw lost track of the time very easily. Time didn't seem to matter in the cool, dark tunnels; there was no sun to guide them, no moon to light the darkness, no stars to show them their way. There was only turn after turn, twist after twist, gentle slopes and steady climbs. There was nothing to hear but pawsteps, nothing to smell but other cats, nothing to taste but the cool tunnel air. It was peaceful, but in an almost maddening way; Sootpaw would have gladly traded all of the silence in the mountains for the laughter of her Clanmates, or the squeak of prey.

Her eyes were closed, so it took her awhile to realize that the tunnels were becoming lighter and lighter by the moment; when she finally opened them, she was surprised to see that the tunnels were washed with fuzzy gray light. She smiled, and quickened her pace just like the cats ahead of her. She suddenly found herself running, practically throwing herself into the sun's embrace as she emerged from the mountain's coils.

She took a deep breath of the sweet air, tinged just slightly with pine and clear water, before staring down at the view laid out in front of her; the lake sparkled like a bright jewel, lapping gently against its reed-covered shore. The pines rustled against each other gently, needles barely touching, like tentative friends.

She turned, and saw that Reedrush was admiring the view as well; however, the silver tabby's green eyes were unusually dark. Sootpaw moved towards her, but Reedrush blinked, emerging from her thoughts, and turned as Tremor began speaking.

"This is where you and I part ways," he rumbled. "My son, Sage, has offered to go with you all on this journey. He knows quite a bit about herbs, so I hope he will be useful to you."

Tremor waited to make sure there were no objections; Sootpaw glanced towards Swanpaw, thinking that she would be the first to speak up, but the ginger-and-white apprentice was looking at her paws, rather than the white tom.

"I have to return to my own cats now, but I wish you all the best of luck. May the stars shine down upon you and your mission." He dipped his head to them, and they murmured farewell; the large brown tom then turned and disappeared into the tunnel's entrance.

The group didn't move for a moment; Sootpaw guessed that they were all enjoying being out in the sunlight again.

Then, someone's stomach gave a loud gurgle; the warriors glanced at one another uncertainly, until Rabbitleap grinned broadly, giving her stomach a gentle rub with one paw.

"I don't know about you guys, but I am _starving!_" she purred. "Let's hurry on down to the forest and get something to eat!"

Her plan was met with no objections; every warrior was clearly eager to fill his or her stomach. They began their descent down the mountain.

. . .

"Hunting is _so _hard here," Bluepaw grumbled. "There's hardly any prey."

"It's scarce," Sootpaw agreed, nibbling on the thrush that she had managed to snag. "I think it used to be nice, though, before the Twolegs came and messed everything up." Her gaze drifted towards Reedrush once more; the silver tabby was sitting alone, staring towards the lake, seemingly lost in her thoughts.

"Thank goodness I have you," Bluepaw meowed, taking a bite of the thrush. "Otherwise I'd be starving."

Sootpaw flushed. "It was a lucky catch. The bird heard something and freaked out and flew towards me."

"Yeah, but it was a good jump," Bluepaw meowed around a mouthful of meat. Sootpaw purred at the compliment.

"I wish I was as good a hunter as Rabbitleap," the blue-gray apprentice continued. "She caught two mice for herself, and a vole for Swanpaw."

Sootpaw twisted around, finding the ginger-and-white apprentice; she was eating, but didn't look happy about it. "I guess she finally had to swallow her pride, huh?"

Bluepaw nodded in agreement, taking another bite. Sootpaw pawed her nose.

"Don't eat all of it, I caught it," she meowed, tugging the thrush towards her.

"Yeah, but you said it was just luck," Bluepaw meowed with a grin, tugging the thrush back. Sootpaw growled, playfully batting her ears, only to have Bluepaw tweak her whiskers.

"Now it's on!" Sootpaw declared, crouching and then springing at Bluepaw; they tumbled together, rolling over the hard ground and throwing up needles in all directions.

"Quit it, furballs! I'm trying to eat here!" Swanpaw spat.

"Both of you, settle down," Thistlethorn ordered, and frowned at Reedrush. "Sootpaw's your apprentice. Control her."

The silver tabby wasn't listening, so Rainwind quickly stepped in. "They aren't hurting anyone; besides, everyone has been under a lot of stress the last few days. It might be good for them to relax a bit...although I'd rather not be swallowing needles with every bite of prey."

Sootpaw and Bluepaw drew away from each other sheepishly, settling back down to eat their thrush.

Reedrush rose to her paws abruptly. "I'm going into Twolegplace."

Sootpaw's ears pricked, and she looked to Thistlethorn in bewilderment, thinking that as the other AshClan warrior he might know what Reedrush was talking about; however, the blue-gray tom looked as puzzled as she was.

"Twolegplace?" he echoed. "We're supposed to be heading in the opposite direction."

Reedrush turned her sharp green gaze to him. "I know that. But I have...business to conduct there. Cats to talk to. It won't take long."

"Northstar said we shouldn't get distracted," Rabbitleap meowed, sounding nervous. "We need to stick to the prophecy."

The fur around Reedrush's shoulders bristled, but she quickly flattened it. "And Rainwind just said that we could all use a bit of time to relax. You all can spend the rest of the day gaining your strength back and hunting while I go to Twolegplace. Sage and Bluepaw can gather herbs; I'm sure there's plenty around here. I'll be back by nightfall, we won't be wasting too much time."

"Reedrush, I don't think this is-" Rainwind began, but the silver tabby quickly cut him off.

"This isn't up for debate," she hissed. "I'm going whether you like it or not. You can't actually stop me, or hold me back. You all can go on without me if you want, that's fine. I've got business to finish, and this is the only time that I can do it." She turned away. "I'll come back at nightfall. Whether you're here or not when I return is your own matter."

"Hang on," Thistlethorn growled. "You can't go by yourself. Twolegplace is dangerous."

"I'll be fine. It's not like I haven't been there before," she retorted, glancing over her shoulder at them.

"You were with Jaggedclaw then...and things might be different now. We don't know how much power Carmelo has, or what Amber is planning. You need protection," Rainwind said gently.

Reedrush bristled. "I said I'd be fine!" She turned away with a hiss, pushing her way forcefully through the whispering reeds.

Bluepaw looked worried. "She's not usually like this. She's usually really nice."

"I don't know what's with her, but she can't be allowed to go alone," Thistlethorn growled. "Not when we don't know what she's getting into."

"We can hardly send a huge patrol after her," Rabbitleap pointed out. "I mean, having a lot of cats makes it look like we're planning an invasion, or something. If we're sending anyone, it needs to just be one cat. Preferably a she-cat, since Amber likes them more and Carmelo doesn't seem to have a preference...a smaller one would be better, since she would look less threatening...Wait, why are you guys staring at me?" She blinked at them with wide blue-green eyes.

"Because you'd be perfect," Rainwind meowed. "So long as you don't mind."

Rabbitleap's ears flattened. "I-I'd really rather not," she stammered. "I don't have any experience with Twolegplace cats, and the whole place kind of freaks me out...plus, I'm pretty sure Reedrush doesn't really trust me, since I'm from PeakClan and all..."

Eyes drifted towards Swanpaw and Bluepaw, but the two apprentices were quickly dismissed; Bluepaw had no battle training, and Swanpaw obviously wasn't cut out to be Reedrush's companion.

"I'll do it," Sootpaw said softly, surprising even herself; she flushed slightly as all eyes turned to her. "I'm her apprentice, after all...and I can follow her a little ways before she finds out I'm there, I think..."

The warriors gave her an appraising look. "That could work," Rainwind mused.

"She'd be less likely to claw your face off," Rabbitleap offered. "Sounds good to me."

Bluepaw's blue eyes gleamed with concern. "Are you sure? Twolegplace sounds really scary."

Sootpaw nodded. "I'm sure." _After all, half the time I'm trotting around with dead murderers; what could be worse than that?_

Sage touched his nose to her shoulder. "We'll be waiting for you and Reedrush, and praying for your safe return," he meowed. "Be very, very careful. Minnow didn't tell us many stories about her time in Twolegplace, but I know she didn't like it there. Try not to take any risks."

Sootpaw smiled at him. "Of course. I'll be as careful as I can." She rose to her paws. "I've got to hurry; I'm sure Reedrush isn't wasting any time."

"Good luck," Bluepaw chirped, but the others merely watched her as she followed Reedrush's trail of crushed reeds.

. . .

She finally caught sight of the silver tabby, weaving her way through the tall grass that seemed to surround the entire Twolegplace; she left a clear path for Sootpaw to follow, for which the dappled gray apprentice was grateful. Reedrush's scent was easily covered up by the Twolegplace's; all of the monsters rushing past and Twolegs running by made individual scents difficult to pick out.

She blinked as Reedrush stopped; Sootpaw quickly froze as well, quietly cursing herself for getting so close; she didn't want Reedrush to know that she was following her until it was too late to turn her back.

"There's no point in cowering. I knew you were there the entire time," Reedrush meowed, giving her a glance over her shoulder.

"Could you scent me?" Sootpaw asked cautiously, padding forwards. Reedrush shook her head.

"I didn't know who was following me, but I was certain someone was. No way would a hot-headed cat like Thistlethorn just let me storm away without someone trotting in my pawsteps." Reedrush's voice was oddly quiet. Sootpaw blinked up at her curiously.

"You sounded kind of angry back there," she mewed, as the two of them began moving again. Reedrush nodded.

"I suppose I did. I've kind of...not been myself lately." She gave her head a little shake. "I've not been myself for moons, really."

"Ever since Jaggedclaw got hurt?"

Reedrush's eyes darted towards her again, but she simply shrugged. "Maybe. I guess. Sometimes it's hard to remember...hard to think of the differences, the changes, the before and after. I can't quite put my paw on it, but I know that I feel differently, I act differently. I definitely get angrier more easily...I yell when I shouldn't."

"I'm sure Jaggedclaw has forgiven you for that little fight by now," Sootpaw mewed. "He doesn't seem the type to hold grudges...not while he has other things to think about."

Reedrush laughed quietly, almost bitterly as the gray of the Twolegplace approached them. "Don't be silly. Jaggedclaw doesn't have anything to think about. All he can do is lie around and stare...he says he's thought about everything imaginable, with all the extra time he has. He says he's bored beyond belief, that every day feels the same...I tried to help, but I'm just not enough for him. Maybe I never was."

"Where are we going?"

"We're going to look for a couple cats, and hopefully they'll help us find another."

"Who are we looking for?"

"They go by Natasha and Mitch, or at least they used to; I haven't seen them in moons. They used to be mediators between Cane and Amber – back when Cane was still alive, obviously. I don't know what they're doing now, with Carmelo gaining power...but my guess is that if they're both alive, they're both still well-known. Any cat that we talk to should be able to guide us to them. I'd prefer talking to a she-cat, but if we have to ask a tom, I'll handle it."

Sootpaw nodded slowly, then blinked as she felt the rough path underneath her paws; it was hard and gray, rather uneven in places, and seemed to be composed of flat squares; she surveyed it for a moment, thinking of how similar it was to the rough mountain terrain, before quickly catching up with Reedrush.

She opened her mouth again, trying to catch the scents of cats, but they were hopelessly buried underneath the smells of everything else; each scent seemed to be vying for dominance against the others, creating a hopelessly confusing whirlwind of scents, scents that seemed to invoke colors, sensations, and sounds; she flattened her ears against the noise, both real and imaginary. Every time a bright-skinned monster rushed past, she couldn't help but flinch.

The Twoleg nests rose all around them, large and imposing; she could see bigger buildings near the center of Twolegplace, but even the smaller ones around the outskirts were still larger than anything Sootpaw had ever seen, save the mountains and ocean. She felt dwarfed by them, marveling at how the Twolegs could construct such giant dwellings; cats never build their own nests, beyond gathering moss.

_I wonder if kittypets realize how amazing Twoleg nests are, _she thought, craning her neck back to peer up at one of the many shining squares embedded in one of the nest's sides. _Imagine the view from way up there...you'd be able to see everyone coming and going. It would be really neat._

"Here," Reedrush whispered, ducking into a nearby alley; Sootpaw found that it was somewhat easier to scent here, sheltered from the wind and heavy smells.

She could see a large shape moving around the end of the alley; it was moving slowly, crouched against the ground. For a moment, she thought it might be a dog – there was a faint doggy smell in the air – but relaxed slightly when Reedrush approached without fear.

"Hello," Reedrush called; the large figure shifted with surprise. There was a loud squeak, and the shape quickly pounced, before muttering under its breath in a low, steady rumble. The shape rose to its paws, and began heading towards them.

"Riley, if I've told you once I've told you a hundred times, don't bother me when I'm trying to—oh. Hello there." The tom stopped and stared at the two of them a moment, his amber eyes giving them both a glance over – they lingered for a long moment on Reedrush – before shifting his considerable girth with embarrassment. "Sorry, didn't mean to snap at you. Riley usually screws me up when I'm hunting, the mousebrain...Anyway, my name's Tubs. What can I do for you two beautiful ladies?"

The name certainly fit him; his stomach hung low, nearly touching the ground; he was remarkably wide as well, with a tiny head perched upon his round body. He looked more like a fat gray raindrop than an actual cat.

"We're hoping you could lead us to a few cats," Reedrush mewed smoothly. "So long as it's no trouble, of course."

"Naw, no trouble," Tubs said quickly. "Anything to help a pair of she-cats. You two must not be from around here; you smell a bit odd." He gave the air a generous sniff. "I can guide you anywhere you need to go. Who are you looking for?"

"Two cats, named Natasha and Mitch. They're usually together. A few moons ago, they used to-" Tubs cut Reedrush odd with a bob of his head.

"I know 'em both fairly well. They used to guide new cats around, but Carmelo decided giving specific cats that job wasn't really necessary; we're all supposed to help new cats get where they're supposed to be. I know where Natasha is, and I'd bet my tail that Mitch is with her." He flicked the fluffy appendage as he spoke. "Just foller me."

Reedrush allowed him to pass her, heading out of the alley; Sootpaw trailed behind them, a little worried.

_It sounds like Carmelo has a lot of power now, _she thought anxiously._ Hopefully he doesn't want to cause any trouble._

"Either of you hungry?" Tubs asked, giving them a look over his shoulder.

Reedrush shook her head. "We already hunted near the lake."

Tubs let out a rumbling purr. "Sounds like a lot of work to me; prey isn't so easy to catch around there. If you want a meal before you all leave, I can show you a nice little string of nests where the Twolegs will give you some food if you just meow for a bit."

Sootpaw eyed the tom with distaste; no wonder he was so large. He caught her look, but only seemed amused.

"You two are _those _kind of cats, right? The proud ones that never take what's given to 'em?" He let out another rumbling purr. "That's all well and good, but here in leaf-bare there isn't always enough prey to go around. I say better to be embarrassed but alive rather than dead with my pride intact."

"I suppose that's one place where we can't agree with you," Reedrush said quietly. "I've always been taught that accepting food from other cats is fine...but Twolegs cannot be trusted. Any wild cat cannot truly consider themselves to be wild if they're taking Twoleg offerings."

Tubs laughed. "Fine by me. Being wild isn't all it's cracked up to be...although I'd guess you two have seen your share of hardships, eh?"

They didn't answer, but he didn't pry; he seemed to be full of jolly good nature as he led them through the twisted maze of Thunderpaths and gray stone.

Reedrush seemed to become more and more on edge the longer they walked; Sootpaw was becoming more relaxed as the Twolegs and monsters began thinning out, but Reedrush's gaze darted around as if she expected someone to lunge out and attack them.

The nests were beginning to change; there was more wood, and they looked older, with sagging frames and broken windows. Most of the nests were empty; no light shone through their doorways, and the Twoleg scent was largely faint and stale. It almost felt a little spooky, but Sootpaw wasn't much afraid of Twoleg ghosts.

Tubs finally came to a stop in front of one of the nests; the smell of cats was unmistakable, mostly she-cats but with a few toms thrown into the fix. Reedrush stared up at the old, decrepit house with wide green eyes; Sootpaw was puzzled by the expression on her face.

"Is...is Amber still here?" Reedrush asked softly, her gaze sweeping over the front porch as if she was looking for someone. Tubs seemed confused.

"Er, no. You really haven't been around here in a long time, huh? She died moons ago...last newleaf, I think."

Reedrush's head turned towards him quickly. "Amber's dead?"

"I'm sorry if she was a friend o' yours," Tubs said uncertainly. "From what I can gather, she was a hero to a lotta she-cats. Flicka leads Amber's group now."

Relief flashed over Reedrush's features. "So, she's still holding her own against Carmelo?"

Tubs peered at her. "What are you, a spy or somethin'?"

Reedrush ignored his question. "This place doesn't smell like it did before. It's more...milky. Why is that?"

"This is where the queens and kits stay; they're all cen-tro-lized here," Tubs explained. "Most of the fighters have moved elsewhere. Toms come by with food for their mates, but otherwise it's just queens and kits."

"And Natasha is here?" Reedrush seemed surprised by the idea.

"She should be. I'll go and get her; we aren't supposed to let outsiders inside."

Reedrush nodded, and the plump tom tottered up the steps into the Twoleg nest.

"He's kind of strange," Sootpaw whispered.

"I can't say I agree with his view of things, but he's been helpful. It's all this stuff about Carmelo that bothers me, though...I don't know why Tubs would be allowed here, unless Flicka and Carmelo are working together." She wrinkled her nose. "But Flicka seemed pretty hateful towards all toms when I saw her last."

"Maybe she's changed."

"I hope not," Reedrush growled grimly. "The last thing we need is a cat like Carmelo with more allies."

Her ears pricked as there was a sound from the entrance of the nest; Tubs appeared, stepping to the side and allowing a slim tabby to slip past him. She paused for a moment on the porch, blinking down at the two she-cats curiously, before recognition gleamed in her eyes.

"Hello," she purred, leaping down the steps with ease, muscles rippling under her sleek pelt; she was obviously being well taken care of.

"Hello, Natasha. It's good to see you, do you remember me?" Reedrush looked honestly happy, which made Sootpaw somewhat hopeful; perhaps after this conversation, Reedrush would feel more like herself again.

"Oh, let me see..." She frowned. "It was 'R' something. Rowan? River?"

"Reedrush," the silver tabby mewed, whiskers twitching with amusement. The brown she-cat nodded, green eyes gleaming, before turning her attention to Sootpaw.

"Who's this? Is she your daughter?"

Reedrush's eyes darkened for a moment, but she shook her head. "No. This is Sootpaw, my apprentice."

"Ah, I see." Natasha nodded. "What are you two doing here? Is everything alright in the forest?"

There seemed something slightly off about the tabby to Sootpaw; she looked a bit nervous, and kept flicking quick glances over her shoulder towards Tubs when she thought he wasn't paying attention.

"We've been having some problems, but nothing we can't handle," Reedrush said evasively. "What about you? Tubs says Amber's dead."

Natasha let out a quiet sigh. "Yes, that much is true. She passed away during newleaf. Before you ask, I don't know how she died, exactly...it's rumored that she just sort of gave up."

"Gave up?" Sootpaw echoed, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Her fights with her brother were everything to her; the entire reason she built up her forces was to overpower him. After he died...it just wasn't the same." Natasha gave a little shrug. "I can't say I agreed with her she-cat-supremacy ideas, but she was a good leader. Things aren't quite the same without her."

Reedrush's eyes narrowed. "What exactly do you mean?"

"I'm afraid I can't exactly say," Natasha said softly, flicking her ear in Tubs' direction meaningfully.

"I see. You aren't being mistreated though, are you? If there's anything we can do..."

Natasha let out a quiet purr. "No, no. Things are fine. Better than fine, really." Her eyes seemed almost to glow, and Sootpaw caught a faint, almost milky scent wafting off of her fur.

"Are they Mitch's?" Reedrush asked, a knowing look in her eyes. "You two always looked like a couple."

Natasha laughed softly. "We tried to deny it, but it didn't quite work. They're his, two little toms...oh, they're the sweetest little things, if a bit rowdy. They're probably terrorizing poor Ivy right now. I need to get back to them soon, if you don't mind. Can I ask what you wanted to talk to me about?"

Reedrush's face took on a more serious expression. "Did you know a cat named Bullet?"

Natasha frowned. "Bullet, Bullet...the name sounds familiar...oh!" Her eyes gleamed. "Yes, I remember him. An older tom, with a young mate, and a sweet little kit. We met them as they were passing through Twolegplace; I think Mitch gave them directions on how to get to the other side. We saw him again a few moons later, but with no mate and no kit...neither of us asked him what had happened. We figured it was an accident on the Thunderpath – it happens so frequently – or that they might have been attacked. Such things are unfortunately rather common for traveling families, and we didn't want to pry..."

"Is he still here? Could I talk to him?" Reedrush asked eagerly. Natasha blinked.

"He's not here anymore, no. He left a few days after reappearing. Mitch asked him where he was going, but he was rather vague...'Heading back to my roots,' I think he said. He was heading in the opposite direction of where he and his family had gone; my guess is that he was following the Thunderpath past the lake."

"Do you know where he came from? Did he ever mention anyone besides his mate and kit?"

"No, no...neither of us knew him all that well. He wasn't much of a talker...you know how some toms can be. He kept everything rather close to himself, we couldn't get much out of him."

"I know exactly what you mean," Reedrush sighed. "Is that all you can tell me?"

Natasha blinked at her. "I'm afraid so. I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful...but again, he really didn't like to talk all that much. He seemed more the stoic type, I suppose."

"You've been very helpful," Reedrush assured her, rising to her paws. "Thank you, Natasha, really. I appreciate it."

Natasha nodded, rising to her feet as well, before giving Sootpaw a smile. "You be nice to Reedrush, you hear? Mind her well. She's a young cat, but a smart one." She touched Reedrush's nose with her shoulder, before springing up the steps and disappearing into the Twoleg nest with a last flick of her tail.

Tubs turned to watch her go, before lumbering down towards them. "Was she helpful?"

_Like you weren't listening the whole time, _Sootpaw thought, but the gray tom's eyes were earnest as he blinked at the two of them.

"Somewhat," Reedrush said vaguely. "I'm afraid we have to be on our way now, though."

Tubs frowned. "Are you sure you don't want to stick around? The toms bring all sorts of prey back before nightfall."

"We already ate, as I told you." A note of frost had creeped into Reedrush's voice.

He shrugged. "Suit yourselves, I suppose. Do you have a place to spend the night?"

"If you could help us get back to the lake, we'd appreciate it."

He frowned. "You aren't going to stick around? See the sights?"

Reedrush's eyes clouded over. "I've seen more than I'd like in this Twolegplace already."

**AN: Tremor acts as Sage & Swift's foster-daddy, BTW. I'll let you guys speculate on what that means between him and Minnow.**

**Oh, Tubs, you useless fat sack of a cat. I don't know why I made you, but I did, and now I'm not quite sure how I feel about you.**


	26. C h a p t e r 25

**C _h a p t e r _25**

He tilted his head slightly; the way the setting sun was shining on the spindly branches made them look like crooked claws or kinked whiskers, depending on how he looked at them. He squinted, wondering if he could imagine them into anything else, before finally sighing quietly and giving himself a little shake.

_I can't believe I'm honestly this bored, _he thought, staring at the white tip of his twitching tail. _There's just nothing to do. I don't feel like talking to Robinpaw or Blizzardpaw, I'm sick of hunting, I can't really train with Petalcloud until I find another warrior to teach me more battle moves..._He scowled. _It's not my fault their all busy or hate my guts...I guess this is how Sootpaw felt when no one would train her. _He let out an irritated breath through his nose, resting his muzzle on his paws. _The only warriors I'd like to train with are Eaglestrike and Stormshadow...but Father already has his tail in a twist with all the stuff he has to worry about as deputy, and Stormshadow...well, there's no love lost between us._

He scuffed one paw in the dirt, surveying the dusty ground with disinterest; he was almost bored enough to consider tossing around one of the fallen leaves like a stupid kit.

_Ugh, _he thought, rolling onto his back and staring up at the darkening sky. _Sootpaw had better come home soon. I'm practically bored out of my skull here. I'm sure she won't be happy about coming home so early, but...I miss her. _He rolled back onto his side, shaking his sleek coat clear of dirt and dust. Glancing towards the elders den, he blinked as he saw that Jaggedclaw was finally awake; the scarred tom was staring at the fresh-kill pile, as if contemplating whether or not it was worth the trouble of getting up.

Spiderpaw quickly sprang towards the fresh-kill pile, grabbing the first furry creature he saw, before trotting towards Jaggedclaw and laying it down at his paws; Jaggedclaw surveyed the catch slowly, before dragging it towards himself with one claws.

Spiderpaw sat down, relieved that Jaggedclaw wasn't going to bite his ear off. "How are you today?"

"Fine," Jaggedclaw grunted, gnawing on the mouse. "How are you?"

His question sounded odd; Spiderpaw squinted at him suspiciously. "I'm going to say fine, but for some reason I don't think you'll believe me. Who have you been talking to?"

"I wasn't doing the talking," Jaggedclaw said softly, crunching a bone between his powerful jaws; Spiderpaw couldn't help but wince at the sound.

"Was it Blackpaw?" Spiderpaw demanded, the fur around his shoulders ruffling with irritation.

Jaggedclaw looked almost amused. "Funny how you immediately jump to her. Is she on your mind?"

His tail lashed from side to side. "No."

Jaggedclaw merely smiled down at his meal; somehow, this irritated Spiderpaw further.

"I don't see how it's any of your business anyway," he said, hating the sulky note in his voice.

"I wish that Bluepaw had stayed behind," was all that Jaggedclaw said. "She was a good influence on you. Left to your own devices, you're...well."

"Were you going to say that I'm a lot like you?" Spiderpaw snapped. "Cranky and alone? At least _I _didn't drive Bluepaw away."

Jaggedclaw's single eye widened with a mixture of shock and stark disbelief; Spiderpaw looked away, fur still bristling, almost wishing that he could bite the words back.

"Perhaps you should go. If you continue to say things like that, I'm not sure I can be held responsible," Jaggedclaw growled. Spiderpaw turned to glare at him.

"Good. I was tired of talking to you anyway, you old fleabag," he spat. "Blackpaw's a fool. I want nothing to do with her."

He rose to his paws, stalking away; almost immediately he regretted it, but his pride forced him to continue on, until he practically threw himself into his nest. He heard apprentices shifting on either side of him, but he ignored them, rankling still from Jaggedclaw's supposed insult.

_I don't have time to worry about Blackpaw, _he thought, letting out a hiss under his breath. _She's a furball. I don't need her. And I miss Bluepaw, sure, but I don't need good influences! I'm not going to end up like Jaggedclaw, old and cranky and alone..._I _won't be dumb enough to run out in front of a monster. _

He dug his claws into his mossy nest, feeling it give way underneath the pressure; it was all he could do not to shred it to pieces.

_At least I can get a good night's rest, _he thought, irritation prickling his pelt. _I don't have to worry about that dumb kit keeping me up at night anymore._

Beside him, he felt someone come into the den; he didn't have to lift his head to know that it was Blackpaw. Redpaw's steps were always heavy, Robinpaw's were always clumsy, Leopardpaw's were always nearly silent, and Blizzardpaw was usually trotting, but Blackpaw's were always fluttering, like a feather skirting over the earth.

She paused for only a moment, and he felt her gaze heating his fur, but he kept his eyes closed. After a moment, she moved on to her nest, which had mysteriously moved to the opposite side of the den.

He opened his eyes for only a moment, and in that moment their eyes met; she hastily looked away, and he closed his once more, but her golden gaze continued to burn in his mind, flickering like a tawny flame.

. . .

He yawned slowly as the warm sunlight caressed his dark pelt; his mossy nest was jumbled underneath of him; he hadn't slept well at all. Sitting up, he frowned down at the dry green and brown mess; it was clumped up in places and bare in others.

_No moss-thief would want this, _he thought grimly. He turned, flicking his gaze around the den; Blackpaw was gone, but the other apprentices were sleeping soundly.

He padded to the entrance of the den, feeling tired despite the fact that he had actually been able to close his eyes the night before; he had gotten more sleep than usual, but he still felt just as tired as he had when he had curled up for the night. His dreams had been strange, jumbled, with bright fires and dappled shadows.

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. _I just need to get back into the swing of things. Sootpaw will be back soon, and everything can get back to normal...or as normal as can be._

His thoughts weren't very reassuring; feeling annoyed again, he swiped angrily at the ground with one paw, sending up nothing more than a puff of dust. He looked towards the elders den, and saw that Jaggedclaw was not in the entrance; his ears flattened as he thought back to their last conversation.

_I might have been a little hard on him, _he thought, then scowled. _I'm not really mad at _him..._it's Blackpaw that's tied my tail in a knot. And he just had to bring her up, and Bluepaw too..._He let out a quiet growl. _He's going to be cranky for days now, I'm sure...maybe I should apologize. Normally I wouldn't, but since it's him...he's not as irritating as most cats, and I'm one of the few friends he has anyway...I don't want him to get all depressed again._

He glanced towards the fresh-kill pile, noticing that it was running rather low; there was an easy solution to that, of course. He turned towards the camp entrance, only to stop as someone called his name. He glanced over his shoulder, and saw Robinpaw limping towards him eagerly.

"I'm going hunting," he growled, and she grinned.

"I know! I want to come with you," she purred, giving him a playful nudge. "We don't hang out enough, don't you agree?"

He watched her suspiciously, wondering what she was up to, but her green eyes simply sparkled up at him. Finally, he shrugged, padding towards the camp entrance, slowing his pace slightly so that she could keep up.

She nipped his shoulder. "I'm not crippled, I can run!" she meowed, before breaking into a quick trot; he was surprised, and it took him a moment to follow suit; by the time he did, she had already sprang out of the camp entrance.

He sprang after her, and was startled when he realized that she was no longer smiling.

"What?" he asked cautiously, confused by the abrupt mood swing.

"You're a real jerk sometimes, you know that?" she said. "Poor Blackpaw is really sad because of you."

_This again? _He thought with disbelief, the fur around his shoulders bristling. "That's not my problem! I can't help it if she's poured out her little sob story to every open ear!"

"For your information, Blackpaw hasn't told me anything," Robinpaw responded hotly. "She was just really mopey yesterday, and this morning too; she was sitting all alone in camp, and you didn't even look at her. I don't know why you're angry with her, but cut it out. She doesn't deserve it."

"Stay out of my business," he spat, stalking forward, pushing his way forcefully through the brambles despite their poking thorns.

"I most certainly will not!" The plucky ginger apprentice followed him. "You need to apologize for whatever you did!"

He let out a hiss. "Maybe I didn't do anything. Maybe you're imagining everything, did you think of that?"

Robinpaw's green eyes narrowed. "Don't try to play games, Spiderpaw, it isn't going to work. Deflect all you like, but I know you and Blackpaw had some sort of fight, whenever it happened. You should apologize."

"Leave me alone!" he spat. Robinpaw changed tactics, abandoning her anger for a pleading expression, her green eyes wide and innocent.

"You shouldn't be so mean, especially to her. She's a good influence, and-"

A spark of anger flared up inside of him at the word 'influence.'

"You can take your stupid influences and stuff them up you-"

"Hey," a low voice meowed, interrupting Spiderpaw's growl; he glanced over to see who had spoken, blinking as he realized it was Blizzardpaw. The white tom was looking at the two of them curiously; Robinpaw made a face at him.

"Am I interrupting anything? I thought you said you were going hunting, Robinpaw," he said calmly.

"We're hunting. We're just...talking. In addition to hunting," she said quickly.

"Actually, I was wanting to hunt alone." Spiderpaw glared at her. "Robinpaw just decided to tag alone."

Blizzardpaw appeared to be rather amused. "I'm glad she did. It's dangerous to be out here alone, especially with Carmelo's rogues lurking around."

Spiderpaw fumed, hating having to use the buddy-system, as if he was still a kit. Still, he didn't have time to waste; he gave a quiet sigh, then flicked his tail. "Fine. Come on, then. I've got stuff to do."

. . .

Spiderpaw entered camp feeling slightly more calm, with a finch in his jaws; Robinpaw's bright chatter and Blizzardpaw's quiet serenity had managed to soothe his temper, especially since Robinpaw didn't bring up Blackpaw again.

Several cats were gathered near the medicine den; Eaglestrike appeared to be speaking to them. Spiderpaw looked away, glancing towards the elders den, only to have Robinpaw poke his shoulder with her nose. She glanced towards the gathered cats meaningfully; he looked to them again, as they began to head for the camp entrance, leaving Eaglestrike behind; his eyes narrowed as he realized that one of them was Blackpaw, walking beside Darkstorm silently, sheltered by Stormshadow; Birchpool was bringing up the rear, looking as thoughtful as ever.

"Maybe you should go with them," Robinpaw suggested, her eyes glittering at him; Spiderpaw rolled his own.

"She doesn't need me to watch her," he retorted. "Why don't you go? They could use another apprentice, and I'm sure Darkstorm would _love _your company."

Robinpaw's ears pricked; she quickly handed off her own catch, a small vole, to Blizzardpaw, before bouncing after the patrol; Spiderpaw watched her go, unamused.

"Would you like to share?" Blizzardpaw asked thickly through the two pieces of fresh-kill now in his jaws. Spiderpaw shook his head.

"I'm already spoken for," he meowed, flicking his tail towards the elders den. Blizzardpaw merely shrugged, trotting towards Redpaw; Spiderpaw watched, mystified.

_How can he be friends with both me and Redpaw? _He wondered. _How can he manage not to ever make anyone angry?_

_Guess I should see if I can do the same._

He padded towards the elders den cautiously; Jaggedclaw wasn't visible. He dropped the finch, and waited for a moment, but the scarred tom did not appear.

"Jaggedclaw?" he called hesitantly. He saw a single eye gleam in the darkness, heard the large tabby shifting his weight, finally thrusting his marred muzzle out of the den.

"Yes?" he growled, looking none too friendly.

"I brought that for you," Spiderpaw meowed, gesturing towards it with his white-tipped tail. "I just caught it, so it's pretty fresh."

Jaggedclaw hooked his claws into the little bird, pulling it towards himself quickly, so that it disappeared into the darkness of the den. "Thank you."

The tip of Spiderpaw's tail twitched nervously; for a long moment, neither of them moved. Finally, Spiderpaw sighed.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you yesterday. I'm sorry about that. You're an elder, and as an apprentice it wasn't my place."

Jaggedclaw studied him for a moment, then pulled himself slightly farther out of the den with a shrug of his powerful shoulders. "I shouldn't have brought Bluepaw up. And you were right when you said that I drove Reedrush away." His single eye clouded over for a moment, and Spiderpaw winced; the last thing he wanted was for the older tom to lose himself in his regrets once more.

_But what can I do? I'm the one who brought everything up again...if I had something to distract him with, something else for him to think about during the day when no one's around..._

He tapped his tail against his muzzle, trying to think; he found Blackpaw entering his mind, and he closed his eyes. _She helped me pull him out of his funk the first time, with the herbs, _he mused. _Maybe she could do so again...she's pathetic and annoying sometimes, but she's always compassionate...it's what a lot of the others like about her. What would a compassionate cat suggest right about now? What would Blackpaw say?_

_She'd say that he wants to make himself feel useful again...but of course he doesn't have any old cat wisdom like most elders. Wisdom would never be his thing anyway, I don't think. But what else are elders good for?_

_But he's not an elder, not really. He's still a young cat...relatively, I guess. He wants to think of himself as a warrior...a warrior that hunts, fights, and trains apprentices for his Clan..._

Spiderpaw's eyes widened as the idea rocked him; he felt a sudden sense of elation. _Yes! That's perfect!_

Jaggedclaw was squinting at him suspiciously, and Spiderpaw realized that he was grinning, probably looking like a fool. He quickly wiped the smile from his muzzle, wondering how to introduce the idea to Jaggedclaw.

"Have you been training with Petalcloud?" Jaggedclaw asked finally, and Spiderpaw had to struggle to hold back another grin.

"Yeah. We've been hunting a lot...and she's started me on some new fighting stuff," he said slowly. Jaggedclaw nodded, and Spiderpaw plunged ahead. "She says that knowing moves isn't all that important; it's how you use them that matters." Jaggedclaw nodded again. "But she also said that knowing more moves is very helpful, and a long time ago we agreed that I'd be able to pick my own mentor for that sort of thing." He waited, but Jaggedclaw still hadn't glimpsed his idea. "So, I was thinking about it, and I know I want a tough mentor, one that won't let me get away with anything. And I want someone that's strong, and experienced."

"Like Stormshadow."

"Exactly...but he hates me, for whatever reason. You remember when I asked him." He knew they were both thinking of the same thing: Jaggedclaw's yowl, which had almost frightened Spiderpaw at the time, although later he had realized that the scarred tom was protecting Spiderpaw in the only way that he could, calling him away from the danger. "So Stormshadow definitely won't work."

"Your father is fairly strong and experienced, but I suspect that he's too busy to train you."

Spiderpaw nodded again. "Exactly. There aren't very many toms that fit what I want...Well, there is one." He paused expectantly, and Jaggedclaw's eye finally gave a knowing gleam.

Abruptly, his face hardened, and he attacked his finch with savage force, gulping it down. "Perhaps you should look elsewhere."

"Won't you at least consider it? You're the perfect mentor for me, Jaggedclaw. You've been all over the place and learned loads of techniques. You're powerful and everyone respects you. You-"

"Fear and respect aren't the same thing," Jaggedclaw growled, but Spiderpaw was persistant.

"You have enough experience to point out my mistakes; you're not afraid to tell me my flaws, like you did yesterday. And I'll get angry, sure, but eventually I'll cool down and see that you're right. You can help me become stronger-"

"You'll never be as strong as you want to be, Spiderpaw, we both know that. Most of the techniques I know are for larger cats, they won't be of any use to you-"

"But if I'm fighting a larger cat, I'll need to know what sort of moves he'll try," Spiderpaw insisted. "Petalcloud can show me finesse and strategy, but only you can teach me the moves I need to know. Please, Jaggedclaw. Just think about it."

Jaggedclaw let out a loud breath through his nose, staring Spiderpaw down, but the black apprentice met his gaze firmly and without fear; finally, the large tom's eye slid away.

"It will be some time before I'm strong enough to leave camp, let alone go to the Moss Clearing."

"I can wait," Spiderpaw meowed firmly. "It'll be worth it."

"I can't demonstrate the moves myself, and practicing them on a rock or stump won't do you any good. You need a living, breathing partner to spar against, and I'm not cut out for that."

"I've got a few ideas, don't worry about that," Spiderpaw said quickly. In reality, he had no idea who to spar with – the thought had completely slipped his mind – but so long as Jaggedclaw said yes, Spiderpaw was willing to make any sort of promise. He would figure the rest out later.

Jaggedclaw let out another sigh, more quietly this time. "Fine."

Spiderpaw's face lit up; he quickly sprang to his paws. "Thank you, Jaggedclaw! You won't regret this, I promise. I'll be the best apprentice you'll ever train."

Jaggedclaw simply stared at him, and for a moment Spiderpaw was afraid he had misspoken. Then, to his surprise, Jaggedclaw's scarred muzzle curled into a smile.

"Thank you, Spiderpaw," he growled, his voice as quiet as rustling leaves, before slowly closing his eye.

Spiderpaw watched him for a moment, before turning away, feeling his excitement build.

_Jaggedclaw's going to train me! _He thought, then whispered it to himself, just to make it real. "Jaggedclaw is going to train me."

His spirits fell for a moment as he realized that it was now his duty to find a sparring partner. He shrugged; he had plenty of time to come up with one, after all. As Jaggedclaw had said, it would be awhile before he could being mentoring Spiderpaw in earnest.

_Who could I spar with, though? Obviously not Redpaw. Not Blackpaw, either; I've had enough of that. Not Robinpaw, because of her leg...she wouldn't be good to practice on. Blizzardpaw, maybe? He would be a good cat to spar with...maybe Sootpaw, when she gets back! _His eyes gleamed at the idea. _I'm sure she has loads to catch up on. Yes, she'd be perfect._

He let out a self-satisfied purr, congratulating himself on his success. _Things might finally be looking up._

_I should tell Petalcloud._

He looked around for the calico she-cat, finally spotting her in the warrior den; it was unusual for her to be a late riser, but she was probably tired from all the stress every warrior was under, with Carmelo's rogues running amok and the sickness creeping into the Clan.

He grabbed a squirrel from the fresh-kill pile and padded towards her; she gave him a sleepy smile.

"You're actually coming to talk to me without having to be cajoled?" she purred. "How unusual."

He sat down, nudging the squirrel towards her. "I'm in a good mood, I guess."

Her eyes glittered with amusement. "You don't say. How often does that happen? Once a moon?" She purred quietly, taking a bite of the squirrel; he did so as well, chewing slowly without saying anything. Petalcloud waited, watching him for a moment, before flicking her tail against his flank. "Well? What has you in a good mood, Spiderpaw?"

"I found a cat to teach me my warrior moves," he replied. Petalcloud's gaze darted immediately to the elders den, and she let out another low purr.

"You finally figured it out, hmm? I knew you would." Her eyes were the color of warm honey as she blinked at her apprentice. "I'm glad you did, Spiderpaw. I'm sure Jaggedclaw will be grateful to have something to do."

He stopped mid-chew. "How did you know I'd pick him?"

"As soon as he started walking around, I knew. He's the kind of cat you look up to, the kind you want for a mentor; it was obvious that eventually you'd work your way around to the idea." Petalcloud was still smiling, but her smile seemed a bit strained now. Spiderpaw's ears flattened.

"You're a good mentor too, even if I don't always appreciate it," he said, staring down at his paws. Petalcloud licked his ear, surprising him.

"Thank you," she mewed, taking another bite of the squirrel. She swallowed, then asked, "Who is to be your sparring partner? I'm sure Jaggedclaw isn't quite feeling up to letting an apprentice tackle him."

Spiderpaw shrugged. "I haven't decided yet. I've got some time to think about it; he says it might be awhile before he can make it to the Moss Clearing."

"How about Blackpaw?" Petalcloud suggested. Spiderpaw glanced up at her, wondering if she was aware of his and Blackpaw's rocky relationship; from the glimmer in her eyes, he guessed that she was.

"I don't think so," he said simply, trying not to growl the words.

Petalcloud sighed softly. "I know she's the kind that gets underneath the fur of cats like you, but she tries, Spiderpaw. I'm just as disappointed as you are that she hasn't become a warrior yet, but there's no reason you can't be friendly with her. Perhaps extra training would be exactly what she needs."

Spiderpaw had to fight to hold back a bitter laugh. "I don't think all the training in the world would make a difference when it comes to her. It's not how much she knows; she knows the moves. It's not about the skills; she could dodge and strike if she wanted to. It's how she thinks. She's not brave enough to take a stand for herself."

Petalcloud's fur remained flat, but her eyes gleamed angrily. "Spiderpaw, don't talk about her like that. She's tried to be a good friend to you for several moons now; I used to see her taking out your dirty moss all the time, trying to help you out when most of the other apprentices looked down on you-"

His eyes widened. "My moss? Is that what you said?"

Petalcloud nodded. "Yes. She'd bring it out when you were off hunting or sparring with the other apprentices; I never said anything about it, but I know she was only trying to help you."

Inwardly, he was reeling, but he tried to keep calm, simply nodded. "I'll think about it," he managed to meow, before rising to his paws. "You can have the rest."

He padded away, then stopped, wondering where to go; he settled for the apprentice den, darting inside and staring down at his nest.

_Blackpaw was the moss-thief? It was her all along? But...why? How? Blizzardpaw did it the first time, so why would she do it?_

_She even did it a few times after we started training together, if it was really her! _His tail lashed with agitation. _Why? That's what I don't understand. Why?_

He let out a low hiss. _The patrol should be getting back soon...I need to confront Blackpaw about this. I can't let it go...I need to know for sure if she's really the thief..._His heart sank. _I...I hope she isn't. _His ears flattened as his gaze bored into the little mangled clump of moss that he had created and slept in. He let out a low, furious hiss, and swiped at it, clawing it to shreds; he wasn't quite sure whether he was imagining it as Blackpaw or Fireblaze as he tore through it, slashing until it was little more than scraps of moss strewn all over the den.

He panted, then turned, not wanting to look at the mess that he had created, and strode towards the entrance of the den.

_StarClan help me when Blackpaw gets back here, _he thought, staring at the camp entrance with narrowed eyes.

There was a sudden flicker in the shadows of the camp entrance; Spiderpaw tensed, falling into almost a crouch as he waited for the patrol to appear.

Then, his eyes widened as Northstar pulled himself through the camp entrance; in his jaws was a cat whose white fur was almost impossible to see underneath her crimson blood.

For a moment, the Clan was perfectly still. Then, as Jaypaw entered the camp with Blackpaw leaning against him, the camp erupted into chaos.

A wave of cats surged forward, crowding around the patrol; Spiderpaw would have joined them, but he was frozen, eyes wide. He could hear Ravenwing yowling, crying Sootpaw's name, but his sister did not appear.

_Jaypaw? Why is he here? _was all he could think. _Why isn't Sootpaw here? Did...did something happen?_

Frostfeather was torn between her son, daughter, and mate; she settled for attempting to group all three of them together so that she could comfort them. Jaypaw pulled away from her, moving forward with determination towards the medicine den.

Shimmerfrost moved to block him, and flicked her tail to the patorl, motioning for them to head towards the nursery; Northstar led the way, carrying Birchpool's limp form – it was the only sign that the white she-cat was still alive.

Finally, Spiderpaw's shock released him; he darted forward, coming to stand beside Ravenwing, who was following the injured cats towards the nursery.

"Out of my way!" Fireblaze spat, pushing through the crowd to reach his sister; Blackpaw had already been led into the nursery by Jaypaw.

"Back off!" Shimmerfrost snarled. "The last thing I need is you to get in my way!"

"I need to see her! She's my sister!" Fireblaze roared, fur bristling and eyes wild. Eaglestrike grabbed him by his scruff, but Fireblaze twisted out of his grip, looking almost as if he would claw the older tom's muzzle off.

"Come on, Fireblaze, we have to let Shimmerfrost see to her," Petalcloud mewed, her eyes wide with anxiety; she pressed her pelt against her son's, and he quieted somewhat, although his fur was still standing upright.

"I'll let you all know how things look when I'm finished examining them," Shimmerfrost growled. "If you all want to make yourself useful, grab some cobwebs and poppy leaves from my den, and bring them to me."

Blizzardpaw immediately darted towards the medicine den; he was quickly followed by Fireblaze, who was determined not to be outdone.

"Where is my Sootpaw? What has happened to her?" Ravenwing asked, although her voice was now almost a whisper, filled with despiar. "What's going on?"

"What's all this commotion?" Spiderpaw turned to see Silverstar padding towards them, leaning against Forestheart, whose brow was furrowed as he took in the frantic scene.

"Northstar and Jaypaw just returned with the sunhigh patrol; we don't know what's going on," Eaglestrike growled. "But...it doesn't look good. Many of them were injured. They might have been ambushed."

"By Carmelo's rogues?" Eaglestrike nodded, and Silverstar's eyes darkened with worry. A raspy cough wracked her body, and Forestheart moved as if to fetch something from the medicine den, but she shook her head. "I'm fine. Shimmerfrost will need all the herbs she has right now. Who all was on the patrol?"

Eaglestrike quickly listed the patrol members, but Spiderpaw wasn't listening; his gaze was fixed on the entrance to the camp. Blackpaw flashed through his mind; first he saw her golden gaze, reeling with hurt as he snarled at her, denouncing her as his friend; then he saw her injured and bloody, leaning heavily on Jaypaw for support as she limped into the nursery.

_Please let her be okay. I won't even bring up the moss-thief thing, I promise, just...please let her be okay. _He wasn't used to this feeling, this sensation; it was as if his heart had been filled to the brim with dark, cold water, and it was beginning to spill over, trickling down through his chest into his stomach, chilling everything as it went, before gathering into a dread-filled pool, weighing down his paws like stones.

He barely moved as Northstar appeared in the entrance to the nursery, merely lifting his green eyes to the white tom's face, trying to gauge what was happening in the nursery; the PeakClan's deputy face was inscrutable, his golden eyes emotionless.

Immediately, he was beset by a barrage of questions; he bore them silently for a moment, before letting out a low, dangerous growl. Immediately, the Clan was silenced.

"I will answer your questions, but I will not repeat myself, so I suggest you all remain silent and listen well," he rumbled, before turning his golden gaze onto Silverstar. She looked at him with fear gleaming in her blue eyes, but Spiderpaw could see that she was not afraid of Northstar, but of losing one of her Clanmates.

"What exactly happened to our patrol?" she meowed. "And why is Jaypaw here? Did Sootpaw join you?"

"Sootpaw is alive and well; she is on the journey now," Northstar meowed. Ravenwing opened her mouth, but Eaglestrike murmured something to her, and she remained silent. "As for the patrol, they were attacked by a group of rogues; probably Twolegplace cats."

"Carmelo's?"

Blizzardpaw and Fireblaze returned with cobwebs and poppyseeds in their jaws; they quickly disappeared into the nursery.

"Perhaps. There were many of them; the patrol was badly outnumbered. They attacked the patrol near GreenRocks, springing down upon them so that they could not flee. The patrol might have perished if Jaypaw and I hadn't heard the yowls of battle. As it was, both sides fared badly."

"But why is Jaypaw here?" Frostfeather asked anxiously. "Is he alright? Did Sootpaw take his place?"

Northstar glanced towards her. "I was getting to that. It became apparent after several days that Jaypaw had contracted the chilling disease."

Frostfeather sucked in a sharp breath, looking into the nursery; as if on cue, Jaypaw appeared, flanked by Blizzardpaw and Fireblaze. Frostfeather moved as if it go to him, but Jaypaw shook his head, glancing at Northstar.

"I don't want you to get sick, Mother," he mumbled. "I have to go to the medicine den, with Silverstar."

"Jaypaw," Frostfeather whispered, a soft, heart-broken sound; Silverstar touched Frostfeather's flank with her tail.

"I'll take care of him," she vowed. "He won't leave my sight. Northstar, what about the herbs? Did you find them?"

"Yes, and with Tremor's help we removed them from the burial cavern," Northstar growled. "Tremor's group took one plant; Jaypaw and I took the other two. Unfortunately, mine was destroyed in battle."

"I left mine at GreenRocks; we had to hurry back here, because Birchpool was bleeding so much," Jaypaw said anxiously.

"I can go and fetch it now," Forestheart offered; Silverstar nodded, and he nuzzled her shoulder before racing out of camp, springing through the entrance with ease.

"And our Clanmates? How are they faring?" Eaglestrike's voice was tight.

"I cannot vouch for their condition; most of them were not badly wounded, but I'm no expert," the white tom answered. "Birchpool is in by far the worst condition. During the battle, she was struck by a falling rock, and suffered a head wound; she was knocked unconscious. Only Shimmerfrost can tell us if she will be alright."

"I would, if you would get out of my way," came Shimmerfrost's icy voice; Northstar moved to the side, allowing her to pad halfway out of the nursery.

"Is everyone going to be okay?" Petalcloud asked nervously. "How badly is everyone injured?"

"Birchpool's the worst, as Northstar said. It seems she was doing quite a bit of fighting; she's got several bad injuries on her back and sides as well as her head wound...I'm not sure if she'll even wake up. If she does, she won't be the same cat." Shimmerfrost's voice was flat. "As for the others...Darkstorm has some injuries, but only one on his shoulder is very deep; Robinpaw must have fought bravely, for she has several wounds on her chest and shoulders, and very narrowly missed losing an eye; Stormshadow has several deep gashes on his chest and an especially worrisome on one his stomach; he was lucky he wasn't disemboweled. Blackpaw has several slashes on her muzzle and a long, thin slice running down most of her side, but other than that she's mostly unharmed. Most of them should be fine with rest and watchfulness; it would be better if I had an assistant, but I think I can handle it on my own."

Spiderpaw let out a quiet breath, most of his anxiety melting away, although the heaviness remained in his heart. _I need to see Blackpaw._

"Why isn't Sootpaw here? Why did she join the journey?" Ravenwing persisted.

"Once it became apparent that Jaypaw was ill, we knew we needed another apprentice; Sootpaw had already followed us most of the way, and she volunteered. She's a brave little cat, if a bit foolish. I wouldn't worry; she has plenty of capable warriors looking after her." Northstar turned again to Silverstar. "I would be most concerned with the remaining snowberry plant. There's only one, and I am sure PeakClan won't be pleased."

Silverstar frowned, seeing the problem. "Our soil is more fertile...but we wouldn't even have the plant without you."

"There's no guarantee it will help, of course," Northstar said. "It might prove to be entirely useless; there's simply no way to know for sure."

"We should plant it here; there's a better chance that it will survive," Eaglestrike meowed. "PeakClan can gather the leaves and berries whenever they need to."

Northstar shrugged his powerful shoulders. "I'll need to speak to Stonestar about it, but I agree that the most fertile soil is here, and that it would be wisest to plant here, so long as the plant is shared equally between the Clans." His gaze flicked to Silverstar once more. "I need to return home to my Clan and tell Stonestar of all that has happened." He hesitated for a moment, before dipping his head. "I hope that all of your warriors required."

"Thank you for your help, Northstar. AshClan won't forget this, I promise you." Silverstar's voice was steady for a moment, before giving way to dry coughs that seemed to wrack her entire body. Northstar's gaze was inscrutable, but he simply nodded.

"Good luck," he said softly, before padding away; Spiderpaw didn't turn his head to watch the white tom disappear into the forest. His gaze remained fixed on the entrance to the nursery. Around him, he could hear other cats murmuring to one another, comforting each other, but he felt numb; Sootpaw wasn't coming back. Blackpaw was injured, and his relationship with Robinpaw was rocky at best.

_Just as things seemed to be coming together, they started falling apart..._

_If I had been on the patrol instead of Robinpaw, maybe I could have made a difference...maybe I could have warned Birchpool about the rock, or protected Blackpaw..._His ears flattened against his head. _My anger and pride got in my way again. I keep letting that happen, and I don't know why – Sootpaw nearly died all those moons ago because of it. Why can't I keep it under control? It's always controlling _me, _instead of the other way around._

He turned away from his mother and father, padding towards the apprentice den; he curled up on the hard ground, and stared at the wall, allowing his mind to sink into the numbness that threatened to consume him.

. . .

He closed his eyes when night fell, but he did not fall asleep. The ground was too hard, the den was too empty without Blackpaw and Robinpaw, and the chill of the coming leaf-bare pierced the den without warm apprentice bodies to fill it. There was a great void in the den, and he knew that Blizzardpaw felt it as well, but neither of them said anything. Spiderpaw could hear Redpaw's breathing, slow and steady; nothing seemed to bother the young ginger tom, or he was just very good at hiding it.

Blizzardpaw's breathing finally steadied as well, after some time – perhaps half an hour, perhaps half the night, it was impossible for Spiderpaw to tell. He finally opened his eyes, but it didn't make much of a difference. The moon was declining; it would be completely gone in only a few days. It offered little comfort to him, shining just outside the den like a white claw.

He rolled onto his side, stretching his long legs out and continuing to stare out of the den. Then, without quite realizing what he was doing, feeling as though he was sleep-walking, he rose to his paws and padded towards the entrance of the den.

Instantly the frosty fingers of leaf-bare graced his pelt; his breath puffed before his face in icy plumes. He blew out, long and slow, watching his breath curl in front of his face like shimmering smoke, before closing his jaws. He turned his head slowly towards the nursery, staring at the sandy entrance; even in the darkness, he could see the dark stains of blood.

_I played there, once, _he thought groggily. _I slept in there, with my mother and my sister...it was where I grew up. It was a place of innocence, a place that I was always seeking to escape...now I almost wish I could return to it, the nursery and that simpler time. Now it might be the place where Birchpool dies._

Slowly, he padded towards the nursery, the black mouth yawning before him like a sleepy kit. He reached out with one paw, touching the sand where drops of blood had mixed with the grit; then, slowly, he pulled his claws through the dirt, churning up the sand and hiding the blood.

He did that for a long time, cloaking the blood under a layer of dust, until the nursery almost looked like itself again. However, no matter how long he worked, he couldn't quite make himself reach in deeper, to place his paw into the shadows of the nursery. He wasn't sure why, only that he feared it. He didn't know what he feared, whether it was the scent of blood or death or the sight of his Clanmates so badly injured, but he knew that it was a fear that shook him to the core, made his breath catch in his throat. It was a simple sort of knowing, but a terrifying one. His mind felt impossibly clear, his thoughts razor-sharp, but also disjointed and jumbled; he wasn't sure whether it was the fear or his weariness. He wasn't sure why he was even out here in the chilly night, why he was bothering to cover up the blood of his Clanmates, only that he had to. Everything, even the cold, felt surreal, despite the clarity of his mind.

Then, he heard a whisper, so soft that he thought he had imagined it; he ignored it at first, focusing on his task, before it reached his ears once more, as quickly as a leaf skirting over moss.

"Spiderpaw."

It was Blackpaw, he knew that immediately; there was no one else with a voice like hers, soft and gentle and feathery somehow. No one else said his name with that quiet helplessness, that hint of fear, that soft reverence. He was her hero in some ways; in others, he terrified her.

"Spiderpaw," she mewed again; slowly, he looked up from the sand into the gaping tunnel, and saw her eyes glinting at him dully.

"What," he said, his voice dull; he wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement, but somehow it barely mattered.

"Can you come here? Please?" Her voice was ragged, tight with pain. Something inside of him seemed to splinter, and numbly he rose to his paws, moving forward despite the strange fear that seemed to grasp his chest, constricting his breath.

She was lying on her side, cobwebs plastered on her muzzle and flank; her golden eyes were dull with pain, but it seemed to be more than the physical pain that ailed her. "Spiderpaw."

"What?" he said again, but this time it was certainly a question. He sat down, unable to look around, unable to face the other injured cats; he kept his eyes on hers.

"What were you doing out there? Why are you still awake?" Her voice was weak, gliding into his ears.

"I don't know." His voice was quiet, although not as quiet as hers. "I couldn't sleep."

Blackpaw attempted a weak smile. "Neither can I. Every time I close my eyes, it's like I'm still there...trapped...with their spitting faces and leers and claws..." She closed her eyes, trembling. Spiderpaw watched her, uncertain of what to do. All of his cunning, his manipulative skills seemed to have escaped him underneath the fading moon.

"I miss Sootpaw." His voice was still flat, but jagged around the edges, or so it seemed to him. Each word seemed to claw itself out of his throat. 

"I know. But I'm glad it's Jaypaw...I'm glad it wasn't Sootpaw that had to get sick. I'm sure she's happy, Spiderpaw."

"Maybe. Part of me thinks she is, but it seems like by the time she gets back, I won't really know her anymore. She'll be different, or I will be...maybe I already am, I don't know." He was still staring down at her, but it wasn't her golden eyes he saw; it was Sootpaw's.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help, but there's nothing you or I can do...we just have to wait and hope that she comes back..." Blackpaw was still trembling. "Spiderpaw...can I tell you something? Will you keep it a secret?"

He was quiet, and she blinked up at him, her eyes gleaming with desperation. "Please, Spiderpaw? Promise you won't tell anyone, not even Petalcloud?"

He nodded slowly. "I promise."

"Birchpool...it's my fault." Blackpaw's voice was an almost inaudible whisper, and her breath seemed to catch in her throat as she said the white she-cat's name.

Spiderpaw didn't say anything; all he could think was _I told you so. I told you if you didn't become strong, other cats would get hurt. _Even he knew he couldn't say that aloud.

"There were a bunch of them...they came out of nowhere, you know, they were hiding up on the rocks...they sprang down at us, and it was like a hundred monsters rushing down on us. I was so terrified, Spiderpaw. I couldn't do anything, I just froze up. And then two of them were attacking me and I tried to run but there were rocks in every direction; they trapped me. And they were coming towards me and I tried to jump over them or climb the rocks or _something, _anything besides just standing there, but I was frozen...and then Birchpool came." Her eyes were wide.

"Spiderpaw, she was so fierce...I've never seen her like that. She took down one of them immediately, and she was chasing the second off when I heard a laugh; there was a third rogue on top of the rocks. Birchpool was busy fighting the second rogue, and he knew it, and he pressed his paws against the stone and it moved forward and I knew it was falling, I saw it, I tried to open my mouth but no sound came off, and then it fell and it hit her and she just fell down...her eyes were open and everything, she was just staring ahead of herself, and there was nothing I could do, nothing I could do for her...I couldn't save her, Spiderpaw, I-I could d-do anything..." Her voice seemed to stumble, to squeeze her throat, and she let out a quiet, sorrow-filled whimper.

Spiderpaw felt the splintering feeling once more, as if the icy numbness, the fear, the clarity of his thoughts were all cracking. Silently, he reached out, placing his paw on top of hers. She pressed her nose against it; it was as soft as a flower petal, and her warm breath fluttered over her fur. He moved so that he was lying against her, pressing her pelt against her back, warming her; she twisted around and buried her face in his fur.

"Birchpool's going to die, I just know it," she cried into his ebony fur. "And it will be my fault, because I wasn't brave enough...I was too scared to fight, to protect my Clanmates like a warrior should...you were right, Spiderpaw, you were right all along..."

_I wanted her to see that I was right...but, StarClan, I didn't want a cat to have to die for that to happen. Blackpaw's learned her lesson. Don't let Birchpool die, not for this._

He knew she needed to be comforted, but he didn't know how; he hesitated, before giving her ear a quick, brisk lick. If anything, that seemed to make her shake harder, and she pressed her face even deeper into his fur.

The moon continued its path, soaring over their heads before dipping down towards the horizon; finally, Spiderpaw drew away from Blackpaw, feeling bone-weary and yet somehow invigorated; something somewhere had shifted, he could feel it, although he didn't quite know what it meant.

"I've got to go, Blackpaw," he said, rising to his paws. "Everyone will be waking up soon."

She blinked up at him. "I understand. Thank you, Spiderpaw...for listening, and being there, and trying to help me before...I wasn't ready then." Her gaze shifted, solidified, sharpened. "But I'm ready now, Spiderpaw. I promise you, I'm ready to train."

He gazed down at her, and did not smile, but it seemed as though his heart had lightened somehow, as something brushed the last remaining numbness away. "I know."

**AN: 'Things might finally be looking up?' Really, Spider? You should be more genre savvy than this. I am disappointed in you. Right now, it seems the only thing 'looking up' will be our mortality rate. **

**Okay, I'm a bit confused. I uploaded the last chapter a few days early, as a lil present (because, again, I'm really bad at holding them back when I've finished them ahead of time xD). Readership was about the usual number, if a bit higher than normal...and yet there were only four reviews. I don't want to complain, but the numbers are bothering me; somewhere around one in thirty people who read this chapter actually reviewed (I'll let you guys do the math xD). Only one in thirty people actually took the time to review – thank you to Ravenshade, Silverblossom, PurplePanda, and Priceless. I'm not asking my readers to review just because I like hearing compliments; I ask for reviews because I enjoy _critique,_ and it warms my heart when people take a few minutes to point out the little mistakes that I made, while also offering up what they liked/what they felt I did correctly. That means a _lot _to a writer, which I'm sure most of you know. It takes quite a bit of time to write chapters, especially compared to the reasonably small amount of time it takes to post a review.**

**I'd just really appreciate it if you guys could explain the sudden drop, because it makes me feel like I did something wrong the last chapter, or something. It's kind of...disturbing (totally not the right word, but I can't think of one that works better, ugh) to me when this happens, because it makes me feel like there's something wrong with the chapter that I posted, that I am at fault; if that's the truth, then okay, but at least _tell _me so. I'm really insecure when it comes to stuff like that, I guess.**

**Anyway. Here's another somewhat early update for you all.**


	27. C h a p t e r 26

**C _h a p t e r _26**

She yawned slowly, stretching and blinking up at the hazy dawn sky; she was still impossibly tired. She and Reedrush had returned later than intended after their adventures in Twolegplace, and then they had walked the entire next day. Sleeping was difficult with the Thunderpath so near; they had decided not to stray too far from it, padding along in the ditch that ran right alongside the tarry trail.

_Why does saving the Clan have to be so _hard? She yawned again, tongue curling, before rising to her paws wearily. The other cats were shifting around her, waking up slowly. Her stomach let out a tentative growl, but she ignored it; they probably wouldn't eat until sunhigh.

"Good morning, Sootpaw," Bluepaw chirped, ever chipper. "How are you?"

"Fine," she replied, ears swiveling as the older warriors began speaking amongst themselves. "I wonder how far we'll have to go before we find the first herb. Do we even know what we're looking for?"

"I think it'll be awhile before we can start looking," Bluepaw said; Sootpaw thought there was a note of anxiety in her voice, but when Bluepaw smiled at her brightly she decided that she had only been imagining it. "We probably still have a ways to go. I'm sure we'll know when we're there."

Sootpaw merely shrugged, before looking towards the older warriors once more; it appeared that they were on the move. She flicked her tail to Bluepaw, and the two of them quickly fell into step behind Reedrush and Thistlethorn.

Rainwater that had collected from the storms only a few days before squelched underneath Sootpaw's paws with every step, leaving them feeling cold and heavy. It was a cold day anyway, with the dark clouds of leaf-bare hanging over their heads; having waterlogged paws only made it worse.

She shivered as a chill ran down her spine, just as a monster roared past; even though the ditch was quite a bit lower than the Thunderpath, she could still feel the rush of wind the monster left in its wake.

The horizon was growing brighter, as the sun appeared, a shining golden disc rising into the heavens. Sootpaw wasn't looking at it, however; she was wrapped up in her own thoughts as usual.

_I suppose we're going to meet a mysterious rogue now, according to my dream, _she thought. _Unless Tubs was supposed to be that rogue...he and Smoke had the same eye and fur colors, so I guess he could be...but a lot of stuff was different, too. It was just me and Reedrush, for one thing...and we weren't going to chase him off like the Clan cats did, and he didn't warn us about anything like Smoke did. He was more of a guide than anything._

She frowned. _There's no way to know, I guess, at least not until we either run into the real rogue or I have another dream-memory-thing. _

_I kind of wish that Chillpaw had talked to me again; I would have liked to tell him the new plan. I suppose he was just holding back, though, since I was so tired...I'm still tired. _She gave her head a weary shake. _Journeys are always so much easier when they're in your head. The walking and the hunger and the cold can't really touch you in your imagination, but now they're all too real..._She shivered, her fur ruffling slightly, and felt a pelt brush her side. She turned, blinking as she realized that it was Sage. He gave her a kind smile.

"You seem cold," he noted. "I inherited my father's rather warm pelt. It came in handy in the mountains."

"I bet," she mewed, pressing closer against him, soaking up his warmth, letting out a quiet purr.

"I'm cold too!" Bluepaw protested, quickly floating over to Sage's other side and snuggling into his thick white pelt. "Ooh, that's nice."

Sage looked a bit embarrassed, and Sootpaw rolled her eyes. "I told you she wasn't mad," she mewed, nudging Sage teasingly. He smiled, his green gaze flicking to the blue-gray apprentice.

"I'm glad," he meowed, and Bluepaw beamed at him happily.

"How pathetic you AshClan cats are; you can't even walk for a few days without complaining," a familiar voice sneered. Sootpaw took a deep breath to push down her anger; she looked over her shoulder and saw Swanpaw smirking at them.

"We're not pathetic! That's not very kind of you to say!" Bluepaw squeaked indignantly.

Swanpaw snorted. "Territory-thieves don't really deserve kindness. If it was up to me, we'd have chased every single one of you rogue-bloods out of the forest the moment you dared set a paw on our soil."

"But you didn't quite manage that, did you?" Sage asked mildly, fixing her with his sharp green gaze. "From what I understand, there was a battle and PeakClan lost. AshClan won their territory."

Swanpaw flushed, although with anger or embarrassment from being addressed by Sage, Sootpaw couldn't tell. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out, and after a brief moment she turned away from them with a growl.

"Squeaking at her like a kit won't help, you know," Sootpaw meowed to Bluepaw. Bluepaw sighed.

"I know. But she's _such _a stuffy furball! And so rude, too! If Shimmerfrost heard _me _talking like, she'd-"

"Congratulate you?" Sootpaw asked, and both of them laughed. Sage looked puzzled.

"Shimmerfrost?" he echoed.

"My mentor, the medicine cat of our Clan," Bluepaw explained. Understanding entered Sage's eyes.

"Oh, I see. The she-cat who was mentored by Rumble."

Bluepaw nodded quickly. "Yeah. She was made a full medicine cat by Rumble right before he died." Her eyes darkened slightly. "I remember him. He was a pretty nice cat."

Sage nodded in agreement. "Tremor likes to tell stories of him, and I know that Minnow was fond of him as well. Feather says she sometimes speaks to him in her dreams."

Bluepaw frowned. "So is Feather like your medicine cat?"

Sage cocked his head to one side, thinking. "Sort of. She's our healer, and she speaks to our ancestors; in those manners she is like your medicine cats. But she is not forbidden to have kits; our population is rather small right now, and any kit benefits our group. Perhaps in the future, our rules will change, but right now she is allowed to have kits and take a mate if she so chooses."

Bluepaw blinked. "And StarClan doesn't have a problem with that?"

"We don't speak to StarClan very often," Sage replied. "We have cats like Rumble and Sprig that visit us—Sprig used to be a Clan cat, but she fled her Clan and came to live with the rogues. She rejoined StarClan when she died, but now I belief she walks the skies with Rumble."

"What about the ancestors of the ex-Clan cats, like those that joined FrozenClan after their Clans were destroyed...the MarshClan, ShellClan, and BirchClan cats?"

"Most of them left when Lion died; quite a few of them serve under Carmelo, I think," Sage meowed. "Most of the FrozenClan cats are still with us, but they weren't very keen on StarClan anyway. I think some of their ancestors have stayed with StarClan, but some have joined the new group of ancestors...and then some sort of pad between the two groups, like Brackenheart."

"Brackenheart?"

Sootpaw looked over her shoulder to see who had spoken, and blinked as she realized that it was Brackenpaw. His ears flattened with embarrassment.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be eavesdropping...but you mentioned Brackenheart? Do you know him?"

Sage looked over his shoulder as well to gaze at the golden tom. "Again, I've never met him, but Feather has. She says he's one of the cats that moves between our ancestors and StarClan, helping wherever he can."

"He was my father's mentor," Brackenpaw said quietly. "They were really close. Father talks about him all the time, and I was named for him...from what Father's said, he sounds like the type to promote cooperation between the two groups."

_He calls Northstar 'Father?' _Sootpaw wondered. _How strange. I wonder if Northstar answers to that. Somehow I can't quite imagine it..._Her whiskers twitched in amusement.

"But what are your ancestors called?" Bluepaw inquired. "Lesser StarClan, or something?"

Sage let out a quiet purr. "No. We aren't quite a Clan, so neither are our ancestors. We call them the Starwalkers."

"Starwalkers," Sootpaw repeated, tasting the word on her tongue. "So what are you all called?"

Sage gave a small shrug. "We don't really have a name; Tremor is used to calling his followers a band, but there are too many of us for that. I'm sure we'll think of something; our group is still being built."

"You're making your own little society...it's cute," Bluepaw purred.

"I think it's kind of cool," Brackenpaw said quietly. "I'd like to see more of it, when all this stuff is finished. Do you think Tremor would like us visiting every once and awhile? Just to see how you all are getting on?"

Sage looked uncomfortable. "Maybe," he said, but for some reason he sounded uneasy; Sootpaw blinked at him quizzically, but he said nothing more.

Brackenpaw moved so that he was walking on Sootpaw's other side; she looked at him out of the corner of her eye, feeling curious.

_Robinpaw and the others say that he's pretty friendly, but he's hardly talked to us at all, _she thought. _I wonder if he and Swanpaw are friends..._

"What's that up there?" Bluepaw mewed curiously. Sootpaw looked away from the golden tom, following Bluepaw's gaze, and blinked; in the distance was a strange land-form, a large hill that seemed to be sitting squarely on the Thunderpath. Thin trees stuck up on the top of it like rigid hairs, with thick brush spread underneath their branches.

"That's weird," she mewed. "How do the monsters get over it? It doesn't look like the Thunderpath goes over it...there's all those trees on top."

"The Twolegs probably built a tunnel to go through it," Rainwind answered. "Although I've never seen anything like it myself."

"It's so big, though...their tunnel would have to be so long," Sootpaw whispered. "How did they built a tunnel through solid rock?"

"If the Twolegs can destroy a lake, they should have no problem with a hill," Reedrush meowed, a slight growl in her voice.

"Are we going to go through the tunnel, then?" Sage inquired.

The warriors looked at one another, before Rainwind finally shook his head. "No, I don't think that would be a very good idea. Being so close to the monsters would be dangerous. We'll have to climb over it."

"We might be able to hunt up there," Brackenpaw meowed, as his stomach gave a quiet rumble; Rainwind nodded.

"It's nearly sunhigh; I'm sure no one here would object to taking a quick break to catch a bite to eat?" the gray tabby asked. No one else said anything, which Sootpaw assumed meant that everyone agreed.

They grew nearer to the hill, and as they did so, the tunnel came into view; it glowed from within, as if fires had been kindled inside the darkness; Sootpaw gazed into it, mystified, but couldn't spot the source of the gently glowing orange light.

"Pretty," Bluepaw breathed. "I kind of wish we were going in there."

"I wish you were," Sootpaw heard Swanpaw mutter under her breath from behind. "One of those monsters would take care of you pretty quickly."

Anger flickered in Sootpaw's heart, and she turned, ready to snap at the ginger-and-white she-cat, only to find that Brackenpaw had turned around as well and was glaring at his Clanmate.

"Swanpaw, there's no reason to be rude to them. Their our allies. We need them. I'd like to see you try to tend to our injuries, or tell us where StarClan wants us to go. Bluepaw's more important on this journey than you are."

Both Sootpaw and Swanpaw were mystified; Swanpaw let out an agitated hiss, her tail lashing, but only turned up her nose and stalked towards the head of the group; Brackenpaw watched her go with his steady golden gaze.

"Thanks," Bluepaw mewed shyly to Brackenpaw; he dipped his head to her.

"You were paw-chosen by StarClan; I'm not going to challenge that, and neither should Swanpaw. She just doesn't know her place," the golden apprentice smiled.

"I'm glad you're on our side," Sootpaw purred, nudging him with her shoulder as she would a Clanmate. He looked slightly taken aback.

"I'm not on anyone's side; we should all be as united as possible in order to make sure our journey succeeds," he said, before letting out a quiet purr. "I will admit that it's nice to put her in her place every once in awhile, though."

They laughed, and Sootpaw felt slightly heartened; she was glad that the PeakClan apprentice wasn't as hostile as she'd feared.

_Maybe this won't be so bad._

. . .

"Okay. We're going to take some time to hunt. Try not to go too far; make sure you're back as soon as you've caught something. If you can't catch anything, return back quickly anyway; I'm sure someone here will share," Rainwind instructed.

"Don't take forever, or giggle and scare all the prey away," Thistlethorn growled, glancing in Sootpaw and Bluepaw's direction; they glanced at one another, stifling quiet laughs. "We don't have a lot of time to spare."

"Understood," Brackenpaw meowed, and the others nodded; Rainwind flicked his tail to them, before turning and padding into the brush; the others followed suit, most of them quickly disappearing.

"Can I count on you to catch us something?" Bluepaw blinked up at Sootpaw pleadingly. "Pretty please? I stink at hunting."

Sootpaw rolled her eyes. "Fine. But you had better fix me up if I step on a thorn or a badger attacks me or something."

Bluepaw grinned. "Deal." They touched noses, and Sootpaw turned, opening her mouth to scent the air, deciding to head in a different direction than the others to make sure that she didn't run into anyone or scare off anyone's prey. She quickly trotted away from Bluepaw into the thick undergrowth, feeling the brittle branches rub against her fur.

She could hear almost nothing over the roar of the monsters as they rushed through the tunnel underneath her paws; she resisted the urge to trot back to the edge of the slope and peer down at them. It was very strange, being right above such terrible beasts, and she couldn't quite push away the feeling that at any moment one of them might ignore the tunnel and decide to charge right up the little hill instead.

_It's pretty big, for a little hill, _she observed, looking over her shoulder. _It's about the size of the Peak, I'd say. It must have been a lot of work for the Twolegs to get through it...although I guess clearing out all these trees and trying to go over it would have been hard too. I wonder if there used to be cats living here...they could hunt on this hill and then in the surrounding area. _She opened her mouth, checking for scents, but the stink of the Thunderpath and monsters outweighed almost all others.

_Hunting here will be harder than I thought. I guess I'll just have to hope that I run into something. _She fell into a crouch, trying to blend in with the rest of the brush. She crept forward, keeping her mouth open in hopes of catching a stray scent despite the stench, her golden eyes sweeping the area for the slightest twitch of a tail or quiver in the leaves.

An abnormally loud monster rushed through the tunnel, letting out an awful grunting growl, and she tensed; she thought she heard the faintest crackle of leaves, but it was buried underneath the monster's sound. As soon as the monster passed, she pricked her ears, trying to reclaim the sound, hoping that it had come from something soft and fuzzy to fill her belly.

_That smell, _she thought, frowning as she tasted the air. _It smells kind of like-_

Something suddenly plowed into her, and she felt claws prick her back as she was driven into the ground. Dirt filled her mouth, and she gasped for breath, trying to twist out of her attacker's grasp, but whoever had her was holding on tightly. Panicking, she thrashed, coughing as more earth got into her mouth.

"Get off of me!" she spat, trying to twist around, but her opponent was too strong. She inhaled another mouthful of dirt, and choked, coughing violently.

Suddenly the weight on her back was gone, and she heard the crackling of leaves as her attacker bounded away. She lifted her head, still coughing and spitting, trying to force the dirt out of her mouth and throat. By the time she finally caught her breath, her attacker was nowhere in sight.

Terrified, she looked over her shoulder, half-expecting to see another cat leap out at her and finish what the first started; even when she saw no one, she still felt the eyes of invisible cats watching her every move.

She forced herself to take a deep breath. _Whoever that was didn't want to kill me...either that, or something scared it off. Or it might be going after someone else now...I've got to get back and warn __everyone!_

She turned, ignoring the hunger pangs that gripped her, fleeing as quickly as she could back to their makeshift camp.

When she arrived, Reedrush was speaking softly to Bluepaw, who looked unnerved; the blue-gray she-cat sprang to her paws as she arrived.

"I'm glad you're okay! Were you attacked too?" the medicine apprentice meowed anxiously. Sootpaw nodded, looking towards the others.

"Are you alright?" Reedrush asked, licking Sootpaw's ears soothingly. "You look shaken."

"Someone attacked me from behind, pinned me down...there was nothing I could do. It was too big, too strong," Sootpaw mewed. Reedrush nuzzled her gently.

"Someone attacked me as well. I think I surprised him with my strength, though; I managed to kick him off, but I couldn't get a glimpse of him before he was gone. Thistlethorn heard the scuffle and came to my aid, but the tom had disguised his scent. He tried to follow him, but couldn't find him. Thistlethorn thought it would be wise to make sure none of the others were in danger. I decided to come back and make sure Bluepaw was okay."

"How do you now it was a tom?" Sootpaw asked.

"He said something to me. 'Turn back. This isn't your territory.'"

A chill ran through Sootpaw as she remembered her dream. _Smoke? Like in my dream?_

"The cat who attacked me didn't say anything." Sootpaw turned to Swanpaw as the she-cat spoke; she hadn't noticed her before. She was sitting down, huddling underneath one of the stiff, leafless trees. Her voice was stiff, but underneath Sootpaw could hear the current of anxiety. "And I couldn't smell it either."

"So there's more than one attacker?" Bluepaw asked nervously, shivering. "I hope everyone's okay."

"They weren't trying to kill us; the cat who attacked me could have smothered me pretty easily," Sootpaw said softly, leaning against Reedrush. "She or he was pretty strong."

Reedrush rose to her paws. "Perhaps I should go and look as well. You all should be okay; with three f you, you can watch each others' backs."

Sootpaw looked towards Swanpaw, but the ginger-and-white apprentice was staring at her paws. "Okay."

Reedrush turned to go, only to freeze at the sound of twigs snapping; without meaning to, Sootpaw unsheathed her claws, fur bristling; Bluepaw's eyes were wide.

"Relax." Thistlethorn's growl was sharp. "It's just me. I ran into Brackenpaw and Rainwind, and Rabbitleap too. They're both fine."

Sootpaw's fur flattened as she saw the three toms come closer. "None of you were attacked?"

Rainwind shook his head. "Brackenpaw and I were hunting together; I was showing him a special crouch. My guess is that the attackers are too cowardly to fight two cats at once. Rabbitleap was near us."

"Where's Sage?" Swanpaw asked anxiously. "Didn't you find him?"

Thistlethorn shook his head. "We didn't see him. I couldn't find his scent."

"We have to go and look for him!" Swanpaw exclaimed. "What if he's hurt?"

"I'll look for him, don't worry," Thistlethorn meowed.

"I'll come too," Rainwind offered. "So far they've targeted the cats they see as being weaker, but if you're coming after them there's no telling how they'll react."

"Hey, wait!" Swanpaw objected. "We aren't just going to sit here and wait for you to come back! We want to help!"

"For once, I agree," Reedrush meowed, giving Swanpaw a glance. "There's no point in us all waiting back here; we should find Sage and then continue on our way. We can stop and eat farther down the Thunderpath. Staying here would be too dangerous."

Thistlethorn shrugged. "Fine. Let's hurry."

They set off at a brisk pace, weaving through the brambles and tall, thin trees; Sootpaw's fur prickled uncomfortably, imagining enemies behind every tree trunk or twisted branch.

"Sage?" Swanpaw called, her voice tight with anxiety. "Sage? Where are you?"

Sootpaw's ears swiveled as she picked up the sound of a distant call; she opened her mouth, but Thistlethorn and Rainwind had already changed direction, leading the group in search of it.

They broke into a run, springing over the fallen, moss-draped logs; Sootpaw's heart was in her mouth as Sage's scent entered her nose. There was the slightest taint of blood, and her breath caught.

They burst into a small clearing; Sootpaw's eyes widened as she saw the white tom lying on top of what appeared to be a black lion. Upon further inspection, the lion was not a lion at all, merely an extremely fluffy tom – his fur was thick and long, sticking out in all directions like a prickly burr – and his fur was not black, but rather the darkest brown that she had ever seen. His green eyes glittered defiantly, surrounded by thick, chocolate-brown fur.

"What happened?" Swanpaw meowed, moving towards them only to have Rainwind stop her with his tail; the gray tabby's expression was one of caution.

"He underestimated me, that's what happened," Sage meowed, letting out a quiet purr.

"I didn't underestimate nothin'!" the pinned tom spat. "You just got lucky, yeh ugly twat!"

Sootpaw wasn't sure what a twat was, but from his disgusted tone she guessed it was nothing good.

"I recognize his voice; he's definitely the one that attacked me," Reedrush meowed, eying the brown tom with distaste. "A rather nasty character, I'd say."

"Who else is with you?" Thistlethorn growled. "Who is helping you attack innocent cats?"

"Innocent? Ha! You all are trespassing, yeh idjits," the tom snarled. "And I isn't giving her up, and there's nothin' you can do to make me!" He glared at them, but Rainwind seemed satisfied.

"So there's only one other cat," he said. "Good. We'll keep an eye out for her."

The tom's expression grew even stormier. "Shut up, yeh prey-grubbing twist-tail. Why, I oughter-" He then proceeded to rattle off a list of threats that he would perform if only the 'mangy furball' pinning him down would let him up. Many of them flew right over Sootpaw's head, but there was at least one that she recognized, and she gaped at him, appalled by the mere mention of such an act.

"That's about enough of that," Thistlethorn snarled, advancing; the rogue opened his mouth to spit at more insults, only to choke on the pawful of dead leaves that the blue-gray tom had scooped up from the forest floor and stuffed into his mouth. The rogue coughed and thrashed, still shouting obscenities, but they were muffled by the dry leaves.

"That's better, don't you think?" Thistlethorn asked no one in particular. The rogue worked his tongue around the leaves, managing to spit them out.

"Don't make him put them back in there," Sage warned. "None of these she-cats need to hear such words, understand? Now, we aren't meaning to trespass. There weren't any scent markers; we didn't know we were in anyone's territory."

"Well, you are. Yer in _mine,_ and I'd really like to kick your tails out of it," the rogue grunted. "Ouch, shift your weight a bit, wouldja? You done messed up my leg something awful..."

Sage shifted his weight and the tom attempted to lunge out of his grasp, only to let out a hiss as Sage's claws dug into his shoulders. "Let's have none of that, now."

Sootpaw blinked at him, surprised. _I thought he was supposed to be a healer? He's pretty tough for a pseudo-medicine-cat..._

"Lucky little..." the rogue grumbled underneath his breath. "If that branch hadn't given out on me earlier, you'd be in some trouble now, you bet..."

"I saw that; it's how I knew you were here," Sage meowed. "I saw the broken branch when I was first setting out. You didn't realize the tree was dead, I assume, and the branch gave out under your weight?"

The rogue grunted his assent. "Messed up my leg. But I still managed to climb up the other trees, and get a few of you, dint I?" His eyes glittered at Reedrush, and she bristled.

"You climbed with an injured leg?" Rabbitleap asked; she actually sounded interested. "That's pretty impressive."

The rogue looked to her as if sizing her up. "Like that means anything, coming from a tail-less freak like you. You couldn't climb a tree if yer life depended on it."

Rabbitleap purred quietly. "You're right about that." She twitched her stubby tail.

"Once I knew a cat was in the area, I remained alert," Sage continued. "I heard him jump and managed to dodge his attack; despite his tree-climbing prowess, he isn't very good at landing."

"You wouldn't be either, with a bad leg!" the rogue spat. "An' I still managed to put up a fight, dint I?"

"That you did," Sage agreed, and for the first time Sootpaw noticed the claw marks on his muzzle.

"Well, what are we going to do with him now?" Rabbitleap asked, looking towards the older warriors.

"Let's just leave him. As annoying as he is, he isn't worth our time," Thistlethorn growled. "Best to just be done with him."

"But it doesn't feel right, leaving him here all injured," Rabbitleap mewed anxiously. "Can't we patch him up a bit?"

"He's got a she-cat looking after him; let her do it," Swanpaw meowed dismissively. "She's tough enough to tackle apprentices, I'm sure she can handle some mangy rogue's leg."

"Mangy rogue?" the tom snarled. "I'll have you know I'm from some prime stock. I'm a purebred cat, y'know. I was bred to be in shows-"

"Bred? You're a kittypet?" Swanpaw's laugh was scornful. "A kittypet! No wonder a healer managed to take you down. You'd better trot on home, little kittypet."

"I told you, you hubris-filled insignificant she-cat, I'm not some helpless little creature that can be fended off as easily as a feather!" For a moment, the tom's roguish rasp gave way to a much younger, more polished voice; his ears quickly flattened as he realized his mistake. "I mean, you had better shut yer mouth before I cut yer tongue out. Cuz I will, y'know, soon as this dumb brute gets offa me."

Sootpaw blinked at him curiously; as she peered at him, she realized that he wasn't really that old a cat; he was probably Thistlethorn's age, if not younger – perhaps closer to Fireblaze. She felt a prickle of pity for the tom; his thick fur was an obvious marker of a kittypet, now that she thought about it.

_So what's he doing out here, trying to play the tough guy? Is the she-cat he's with a kittypet too?_ She wondered.

"If you're a kittypet, then how did you get this territory for yourself?" Reedrush asked suspiciously. "It's not the best, but there's plenty of prey, I'm sure. Someone else wants it, surely."

The rogue eyed them with suspicion. "Yeah, duh. That's why I was tryin' to warn you all away. If you keep goin' the direction you're goin', you'll run into some real trouble. Adder don't like trespassers."

"Adder? Who's that?" Thistlethorn asked quickly. "And don't even think about lying, because we'll force the truth out of you one way or another."

The rogue rolled his eyes. "Right. I'm terr-o-fied of yah. Yer truly a frightening, mangy bunch."

Thistlethorn unsheathed his claws. "I mean it, rogue. I'm not here to play around with you; none of us are. We're on a mission."

The rogue snorted. "A mission, golly, how important. I shoulda realized it at once. Well in that case, I beg yer pardon."

Thistlethorn took a threatening step forward, and the rogue's eyes quickly flicked towards the leaves that had been crammed into his mouth moments ago; he swallowed a bit nervously. "Adder's one of the rules around these parts; he runs this lil stretch o' road," he growled. "This is really his neck-o'-the-woods, but he lets me an' Nightingale stay here so long as we keep trespassers away. An' we were doin' a pretty good job, 'till you ugly bullies started poking your nose everywhere. Honestly, my leg _hurts._ How'm I supposed to scare away trespassers now, huh? Didn't think of that, didja?"

"I'll admit that never crossed our minds," Reedrush said dryly.

"If Adder's as pathetic as you and your 'Nightingale,' I think we'll be fine," Thistlethorn rumbled, flicking his tail. "Come on. We should go. We've wasted enough time here."

"Wait!" The rogue attempted to sit up slightly, his green eyes glowing. "I mean it. Don't go no further. Adder isn't the kind you mess with. This stretch is called Adder's Fangs for a reason. He and his band'll kill you without a second thought. And then he'll come after me and Nightingale for letting you all past us."

Sootpaw felt another twinge of pity, and blinked as she remembered her dream. _Smoke and the adders..._

"Maybe we should listen to him," she said timidly. "He's obviously not all that bright, but he seems to know what he's talking about." The rogue glared at her, but she ignored him.

Rainwind looked thoughtful. "Us walking into another ambush would be unwise."

Swanpaw let out an agitated hiss. "Forget him, he's just trying to scare us off! There's probably no Adder at all. He just doesn't want to admit that we're tougher than him, so he's trying to make us run away. We shouldn't give him the satisfaction."

There was a sudden rustle in the undergrowth, and a new cat appeared, padding forward hesitantly; she almost looked like an ethereal being, with her thick, whispy white fur. She had some of the strangest markings that Sootpaw had ever seen; her tail was dark chocolate brown, and so were her toes and a patch over her nose, as well as her ears; her front paws had paler brown socks. A dirty blue bow hung around her neck, matching her sky-blue eyes. She blinked at them timidly, before looking to the captured rogue; his eyes were wild as he stared at her.

He began to thrash, trying to escape Sage's grip. "I told you not to come here! I told you to run if they caught us! Get out of here, Nightingale!" His voice was wild, the growl sliding out of it once more, replaced by youthful fear.

Nightingale flinched, but didn't flee, even as Thistlethorn moved forward to help pin the flailing tom down. She watched with sorrowful blue eyes.

"Why are you here?" Rainwind asked. "If you're trying to rescue him, I'm afraid you're outnumbered."

"Don't bother questioning her; she can't talk," the chocolate-furred rogue hissed.

"Can't, or won't?" Thistlethorn growled.

"Her voice was messed up in a fire moons ago, by the smoke," the rogue answered, only to let out a hiss of pain as his captors put pressure on his injured leg.

"A fire?" Reedrush echoed, ears pricked. "The one in Twolegplace? The one that ended up burning down half the forest?"

"I don't know about yer stupid forest! It was in Twolegplace, yeah. It started in our owner's house." The tom finally gave up struggling, his muzzle thudding against the ground as his body went limp. "Nightingale and I were both in cages. Our owner managed to open some of 'em, but not all. She got to me, but not Nightingale. Most of us ran outa there without lookin' back, but I came back later to see if anyone was still hanging around. I found Nightingale half suff-er-cated, and I managed to get her out. We bounced around Twolegplace before coming here...where we hoped everyone would _leave us alone._" He gave them all a glare.

Sootpaw's ears flattened. _Poor things. Neither of them look very well-kept; their fur is matted and their pelts are dingy...I wonder if they've been able to hunt for themselves. The male has been in quite a few scuffles too, from the look of him..._

Reedrush's ears flattened. "We didn't come here to bother anyone. You're the ones who attacked us."

Nightingale still hadn't moved; she seemed to be waiting for something. Rainwind looked at her again, his eyes glinting with curiosity.

"So you two have just been out on your own...two kittypets without any training on living in the wild? It's a miracle you've lasted as long as you have."

"Not a miracle, it's hard work that keeps us alive," the rogue grumbled.

Rainwind nodded slowly "I suppose so. Tell me, what's your name?"

The rogue eyed him suspiciously, as if the question was some sort of trap. "Rook."

"Why don't you come with us?" Sootpaw blurted. All eyes turned to her, and she flushed with embarrassment, but persevered. "I mean, this can't be a happy life...the territory isn't all that good, and you're close to the Thunderpath, plus you have to always be attacking cats and scaring them away...You guys deserve a better life, don't you think?"

Rook was glaring at her, but Nightingale was nodding slowly, somewhat shyly; the brown rogue's gaze flitted to her, and he frowned.

"They're tryin' to take us in as fools, Nightingale," he growled. "Don't listen to 'em. They'll just use us."

"Like Adder is?" Rainwind's voice was soft, but cutting; Nightingale visibly flinched, and Rook's gaze dropped to his paws.

"We chose this life," the rogue kittypet meowed. "Its ours, not nobody else's."

Swanpaw snorted. "Once a kittypet, always a kittypet. You all can't stand not having someone to boss you around, that's the real problem." She turned her icy blue eyes on Sootpaw. "And of course it would be a softhearted AshClan cat that offers to take them in. Disgusting."

"Sootpaw has a point," Sage meowed. "Rook, your leg is in bad shape. It's not broken, but walking on it will certainly be hard for you now, and tree-climbing is out of the question. You've already failed to stop us from going ahead—as Thistlethorn said, we have a mission to complete, and we cannot be deterred. If you can't climb trees and ambush whoever comes after us, you'll fail Adder again, and from what you've told us he doesn't sound like the kind of cat that accepts failure more than once."

Nightingale moved forward, and Thistlethorn tensed, but she only reached out to touch Rook with one brown paw, blinking at him with her liquid blue eyes, round with innocence; she looked about as menacing as thistledown. He looked up at her, and to Sootpaw it seemed that they were sharing some sort of strange understanding; finally, Rook's shoulders slumped.

"Get offa me," he grumbled quietly. Sage and Thistlethorn exchanged glances; Sage shrugged, and moved back. After a moment, Thistlethorn followed suit. Rook heaved himself to his paws, staggering slightly to the side with a grimace, obviously in pain.

"Are you coming with us?" Sage asked, but Rook didn't answer; he shot a dirty look in Nightingale's direction. She touched his flank with her tail, before nodding to Sage; Sage smiled.

"Excellent. I'll take a look at your leg, then. Bluepaw, would you mind gathering some herbs for me? There's probably some around here." He then rattled off a list; when he finished, Bluepaw bounced away eagerly.

"By the time we get this all squared away, it'll be nightfall," Rainwind said. "I suggest we wait to enter Adder's territory until tomorrow. Being ambushed at night would not be good."

The rest of the group nodded in agreement, save for both Brackenpaw and Swanpaw; Brackenpaw's face was carefully neutral, but Swanpaw was bristling with irritation.

"Typical AshClan cats," she hissed. "You just have to drag everyone along with you, even the riffraff."

Rook bristled, only to flatten his fur as Nightingale touched him with her tail again. He turned away from Swanpaw with a disgusted hiss, sitting down and wrapping his thick, bushy tail around his paws.

Rainwind looked towards the apprentices. "As for the rest of you, you should take advantage of this time to hunt, now that we've got the ambush problem resolved."

Sootpaw nodded, quickly rising to her paws, but Brackenpaw and Swanpaw were more sluggish; Swanpaw looked mutinous.

Sootpaw trotted into the forest, her mind abuzz. _If Rook and Nightingale are supposed to be Smoke and Adder is the adders from my dream...what does that mean for our journey? Can we fight off an entire patrol of dangerous cats?_

She thought of Silverstar and Jaypaw, and her ears flattened. _We have to._

**AN: Rook is a Norwegian Forest Cat (think Maine Coon but without the weird lynxy ears and waaay fluffier oh God). Nightingale is a Rag Doll (so cute omg). **

**Whoa, Rook, one minute you're saying dumb things like 'yer,' and the next you're using cool words like 'hubris?' Wassup with that, yo?**

**I should add Rook and Nightingale to the charrie bio thing soon (to find it easily, go to the right and click "May (11)," then go to "May 24" and click "CHILLED BIOS."**


	28. C h a p t e r 27

**C _h a p t e r _27**

The Moss Clearing was eerily quiet, strangely silent; the usual grunts of pain and defiant hisses were absent. Spiderpaw ran his tail over the thick moss absentmindedly, trying to distract himself from the emptiness.

_Of course it's empty. Jaypaw, Sootpaw, Robinpaw, and Blackpaw all aren't here...Redpaw, Blizzardpaw, Leopardpaw, and I are the only ones left. _He had been hoping to find at least one of the apprentices here so that they could train together, but apparently it wasn't meant to be.

_Just as well. It's nearly nighttime anyway,_ he thought, lifting his eyes to the trees, studying the dull purple shadows that graced their branches as the sun sunk lower and lower, leaving streaks of color over the sky, arching like fingertips overheard. He blinked up at the sky for a moment, not caring about the beautiful of the colors splashed over the darkening sky, before letting out a quiet growl. He rose to his paws, bristling his fur to help him warm up; frost plumed out in front of his muzzle with each breath.

_Hopefully Fireblaze is done visiting Blackpaw, so I don't have to wait before seeing her, _he thought grumpily. _That furball spends all of his time in there with her now. He's no use to anyone, at least not as a warrior._

He turned, padding back to camp, feeling the leaves crunching underneath his paws; he took a small amount of pleasure in the sound.

He sprang through the camp entrance, glancing around the camp; for once he was hoping to spot a ginger pelt. Unfortunately, he did not see Fireblaze; he ground his teeth together with frustration. _Blackpaw doesn't need you hovering over her all the time, you big ginger lummox!_

As if on cue, a broad ginger head appeared in the nursery entrance; Fireblaze's amber eyes narrowed with dislike as he spotted his black arch-nemesis, but he didn't say anything, simply heading for the warriors den. Spiderpaw waited, tail lashing from side to side, until Fireblaze entered the warriors den and disappeared from sight. Then, slowly but surely, Spiderpaw edged his way towards the nursery, making sure that no one was paying attention to him. He hovered in the entrance, ears pricked just in case anyone else was still inside.

He heard the low murmuring of voices, and let out an irritated growl, only to blink as he realized it was Blizzardpaw; the white tom was saying goodbye to someone, probably Robinpaw.

Spiderpaw hurried to take a few steps back, but he couldn't move fast enough without drawing more attention to himself; Blizzardpaw's head peeked out of the nursery, and his startling blue eyes blinked at Spiderpaw curiously.

"Hey, Spiderpaw, what are you up to?" he asked; Spiderpaw was suspicious, but the white tom's tone was light and friendly.

"Nothing. I was heading for the apprentice den," Spiderpaw muttered. Blizzardpaw looked quizzical.

"Wrong side of camp, my friend," he said.

"I know," Spiderpaw growled. "I'm not stupid."

"Never said you were," Blizzardpaw meowed curiously. "Something the matter?"

"No!" Spiderpaw snapped. Blizzardpaw cocked his head to one side.

"Only trying to be pleasant," he said. "But you seem to be in a bit of a foul mood today. I hope you feel better tomorrow." Blizzardpaw smiled, before turning away and heading for the apprentice den; Spiderpaw watched him go, rankled.

_He's just so..._nice, Spiderpaw thought. _How does he deal with cats like me and Fireblaze, and still manage to smile?_

He shook his head, mystified. However, it was obvious that it would be no good to talk to Blackpaw now, not when Robinpaw was awake; the ginger she-cat meant well, but she was a terrible gossip.

He scowled, and padded into the apprentice den; even curling up into his cold moss nest reminded him of Blackpaw.

_I'd still like to ask her about the moss-thief thing...but she's got a lot going on right now. I suppose I shouldn't bother her; she'd only worry more about us being friends. _He blinked slowly; were they friends? Had he and Blackpaw reached that point the other night?

_I guess non-friends don't stay up all night comforting each other. _He rested his muzzle on his paws, yawning and closing his eyes to feign sleep. _It's like this was her diabolical plan all along._

He shifted his weight, trying to get more comfortable, but his moss nest was thin; harvesting more moss from GreenRocks was unthinkable, now that blood had been spilled there.

_If we just get a good rain to wash everything away, it would be okay, but right now getting moss from GreenRocks would be..._He wrinkled his nose at the very thought.

He blinked, realizing that Blizzardpaw and Redpaw's breathing was more regular now; he glanced around the den to make sure that they were asleep, before rising to his paws and carefully picking his way out of the den. He paused at the entrance, sweeping his gaze over the camp just in case, before proceeding to the nursery.

He peered inside, staring into the gloom. "Blackpaw?" he whispered, but received no reply. He waited a long moment, then tried again. "Blackpaw? Are you awake?"

He heard an odd sound from within, somewhere between a sigh and a groan; he frowned, creeping forward carefully, trying to see who had spoken. "Blackpaw? Robinpaw?"

"Who's there?" The voice was definitely not bright Robinpaw, nor soft Blackpaw; it sounded weak, almost hazy. He froze, staring at the white shape that shifted slightly.

"Birchpool?" he called cautiously. "Is that you?"

"Who's there?" she said again; she was staring sightlessly in front of herself, eyes glazed. Spiderpaw took a step forward, moving slowly in case he scared her; something obviously wasn't right with the white she-cat.

"Birchpool, how do you feel?" he asked, trying to keep his voice low and soothing. "It's good that you're awake. Shimmerfrost wasn't sure-"

"It's so foggy," Birchpool whispered. "Everything's so dim...but the pain...the pain is sharp. I can feel it, just waiting to pounce again..."

His ears flattened. "Just relax, Birchpool. I'll go get Shimmerfrost, and she'll give you some poppy seeds, okay?"

Her gaze suddenly sharpened, and her head twisted towards him with frightening speed. "No. You stay," she hissed with surprising intensity. "I remember. I _remember._"

"Remember what?" he asked nervously, trying to edge towards the entrance without her noticing.

"It's not much...but it's everything, too," Birchpool meowed, her voice taking on the hazy quality once more. "Thistle's name. I remember. I remember how he got it. I remember that much. Everything's so hazy, but that one memory is so clear...Thistle, my sweet little kit...my son..."

"Birchpool, you need to rest," Spiderpaw said carefully. "Poppy seeds will help you sleep. You can tell me about Thistlethorn's name tomorrow, okay?"

"No, no, this can't wait," she fretted. "No, no, it can't wait at all. I need you to tell him, understand? I need you to tell my Thistle that I remember this. I need you to tell him."

"Okay, I'll tell him, just please don't move," Spiderpaw said quickly. "Just relax, Birchpool. You'll injure yourself further if you keep moving."

"Bullet was there, with me," Birchpool meowed; she was only half listening to him. Her voice was dull, but her eyes gleaming almost manically as she stared at him. "We were near the lake. The Kalan had recently fallen apart. We were deciding where to go. It was nightfall, yes...I remember the crickets chirping, chirping, chirping. They were so beautiful, but so sad..." Her gaze dropped to her paws, and she was silent for a long moment, as if trying to find the thread of the story once more. He could see the tension in the way her paws gripped the den floor as she grappled with her own mind.

"And Bullet went to hunt for us—we had argued, I think, about what to do. He needed time to clear his head. So I went to sleep with my son curled up against my belly, and when I opened my eyes, he was gone. I was frantic and when Bullet came back he was terrified; he loved Thistle, I know that. We looked all around our little camp and the lake, but we couldn't find him, couldn't scent him. I was wailing, half-mad with fear...

"And then there was the quietest rustle in the reeds...no, in the grass, because we had moved into the grass to search. And then he appeared, covered in mud and dirt, with his fur sticking up in all directions...and he was covered in thistles, positively matted in them...we had to rip out half his fur to get them out. But he had caught a little vole, just a scrap of a thing, and he was so proud...so we named him Thistle. My little Thistle. My thistledown, my restless one, my little wanderer..." Her voice trailed off, and she seemed to lose the last of her strength as her head fell back upon her paws.

"Just hold still, I'll be right back," Spiderpaw meowed, but Birchpool was still staring at him.

"Promise you'll tell him," she meowed. "Promise that you'll tell him I managed to remember something. I know it'll mean something to him. I know he'll want to know. Promise."

"I promise," Spiderpaw meowed. "But you'll be able to tell him yourself, okay? He'll be back in no time, just you wait."

Birchpool wasn't listening, she was staring sightlessly in front of herself again. He thought he heard her let out the quietest of sighs, and she smiled, and he felt a sudden twinge of foreboding.

_Something isn't-_

His thought broke off as her sky-blue eyes suddenly rolled back into her head; her neck snapped back and her mouth opened in a soundless cry as her body suddenly began to spasm, jerking as if a playful kit had grabbed her scruff and was shaking her. Spiderpaw's jaw dropped, and for a moment he was frozen in panic, before he turned and fled, racing towards the medicine den.

"Shimmerfrost!" he bellowed as he burst into the den, but the silver she-cat was not inside. Another silver head rose, blinking at him sleepily.

"What are you doing, Spiderpaw?" Silverstar asked groggily. "What's wrong?" Beside her, a brown head rose as Forestheart blinked at the black apprentice tiredly.

"Birchpool," Spiderpaw panted. "Something's wrong with her. I don't know exactly what it is, but—but I think she might be dying!"

Silverstar's eyes widened. "Shimmerfrost-" She stopped as she realized that the silver tabby wasn't in the den. Silverstar's ears flattened, but she took a quiet, calming breath. "Spiderpaw, I need you to go and get your mother, quickly. She's had training as a medicine cat; she might be able to help Birchpool. Forestheart, go and see if you can find Shimmerfrost; she's probably gathering herbs."

_Or being with her lover, _Spiderpaw thought, but he didn't say anything; he nodded quickly, and turned, dashing towards the warrior den as quickly as his paws could take him.

"Mother!" he hissed, peering into the darkness. "Mother, wake up!"

"Spiderpaw, what is it?" His mother's voice was soft, but concerned. "Did you have a nightmare?"

He didn't have enough time to be angry about her treating him like a kit. "No. It's Birchpool. Something's wrong and Shimmerfrost isn't here-"

Ravenwing was on her feet immediately; the rest of the den was beginning to stir to the sounds of their voices, but Spiderpaw ignored them, turning and heading into the nursery once more.

Birchpool was still convulsing, but the spasms were weaker; the eyes of terrified apprentices gleaming in the darkness.

"What's happening? I just woke up, and..." Robinpaw's voice was tight with fright.

"Spiderpaw, get both of them out of here. Stormshadow, Darkstorm, hold Birchpool down. Keep her as still as you can. I'm going to Shimmerfrost's den to get some herbs, understand?"

They nodded, and Ravenwing raced towards the medicine den; Spiderpaw ducked into the nursery, readying to help Robinpaw, but she brushed him away.

"I'm fine," she meowed, heaving herself to her paws. "I think Blackpaw's in shock."

Spiderpaw looked down at the black apprentice; she was staring straight at Birchpool, a glazed, terrified look in her eyes. Gently, he grabbed her scruff, pulling her to her feet.

"Come on," he said quietly, leading her out of the den; she leaned against him, her breath coming in short pants.

"What's going on? Blackpaw, are you okay?" Fireblaze was racing towards them, his amber eyes wild. "What's happening?"

"Blackpaw's fine, it's Birchpool," Spiderpaw growled. Fireblaze's eyes narrowed.

"I don't think I asked you, Spiderkit. And Blackpaw doesn't look fine. Blackpaw? Can you hear me?" he peered at his sister with concern.

"I'm fine," Blackpaw murmured, her voice whisper-soft; Fireblaze shot Spiderpaw a glare, as if it was his fault, before padding to Blackpaw's side and whispering something in her ear. He led her away – she still looked shell-shocked - and they sat down together in the corner of camp. Spiderpaw let out an irritated hiss, before turning back to the nursery. His mother passed him in a hurry, her jaws full of herbs, disappearing inside just as Robinpaw came out.

"Robinpaw!" Blizzardpaw exclaimed, racing to her side. "What's going on? Everyone's scared."

"Birchpool...there's something wrong with her." Robinpaw's green eyes were wide in the moonlight. "I think...Blizzardpaw, I think she might be dying."

Blizzardpaw's ears flattened; the white tom turned to Spiderpaw. "Is this true?"

His fur ruffled uncomfortably. "I don't know. Something's wrong with her, definitely, but dying...I don't know."

There was a muffled noise from the nursery, and their heads snapped towards it, but no one appeared in the entrance; Spiderpaw felt a sudden overwhelming wave of helplessness. He dug his claws into the earth as the feeling washed over him. _There's nothing I can do to help Birchpool now. It's in my mother's paws, and StarClan's..._His gaze found Blackpaw huddled next to her brother, and his ears flattened. _Please let Birchpool live. For Blackpaw's sake, if not for her own._

He was surprised to feel Robinpaw press her pelt against his. "You okay?" she asked. "You look worried."

He moved away. "Of course I'm worried. One of our Clanmates is injured and possibly dying." It came out harsher than he had intended, but Robinpaw didn't seem offended; rather, her green eyes gleamed with sympathy, and for some reason this bothered him further. He looked away from her, focusing on the nursery. Robinpaw moved closer again, but this time he didn't move. Blizzardpaw sat down on Robinpaw's other side, silent.

Spiderpaw wasn't sure how much time passed before Ravenwing appeared again, coming out of the nursery with painful slowness. Her green eyes were dull and glassy; as her eyes met her son's, he knew immediately that she had failed. Birchpool was no more.

"Ravenwing?" Robinpaw whispered, but Ravenwing bowed her head.

"I couldn't save her...I'm sorry. Her wound reopened, and she was bleeding too quickly for me to stop—maybe if I'd had more training, or been faster, maybe..." Ravenwing trailed off as Frostfeather moved forward, pressing her pelt against her sister's.

"You did the best you could," the white queen mewed. "No one could have asked for anything more, we all know that. Shimmerfrost said that there was a good chance Birchpool wouldn't survive...she's walking with StarClan now."

Robinpaw let out a muffled wail as she buried her face in Blizzardpaw's fur, her stoic demeanor fracturing; it was only then that Spiderpaw remembered Birchpool was her mentor. His heart sank with sadness; he wanted to comfort her, but Blizzardpaw had it handled, crooning something into her ear while his tongue massaged her fur. Spiderpaw's gaze shot again to Blackpaw, but she wasn't looking at him.

There was a sudden rustle near the entrance; heads turned as Shimmerfrost and Forestheart entered camp. Shimmerfrost's jaws were filled with herbs; she stopped as she and Ravenwing stared at one another. Shimmerfrost dropped the herbs; they hit the dust with a quiet, pathetic thud.

"She didn't make it?" the silver tabby growled. Ravenwing shook her head. Shimmerfrost's eyes darkened with sorrow for a brief moment, before the usual chilliness took over.

"It's already nightfall. We should have her vigil now; we can't wait until tomorrow," the silver tabby said quietly.

Petalcloud's eyes widened. "So soon? It's nearly moonhigh."

"It won't be proper, but it's the best we can do; we can't keep her body here for very long, and she can't stay in the nursery." Silverstar's voice was quiet, but firm as she stood in the entrance to the medicine den; Forestheart quickly went to her side, helping her join the others, although she was careful to keep her distance to make sure they couldn't catch the chilling disease. In the medicine entrance, Jaypaw's head poked out, but he couldn't comfort his sister.

Stormshadow let out a quiet growl. "Darkstorm and I will carry her body out. Shimmerfrost, perhaps..."

Shimmerfrost nodded quickly. "I'll help prepare the body. I expect it's not in a form that most of you would want to see right now." She strode into the nursery, past Ravenwing.

For a long moment, the camp was silent; the only sound was the faintly whistling wind rushing over the trees. Then, Spiderpaw rose to his paws, padding towards Blackpaw and Fireblaze.

Fireblaze let out a threatening growl as he approache; Spiderpaw expected to feel the lick of angry flames, but all he felt was a deep, chilling sensation, much as he had felt when the patrol had returned, battered and bloody.

"I only want to make sure that Blackpaw's okay," he said.

"I can take care of that myself, thank you," Fireblaze spat. "She's my sister, not your little toy."

"Fireblaze." Blackpaw tilted her head slightly, looking up at her brother. "Please. Not tonight." She turned to Spiderpaw, her eyes still faintly glazed. Fireblaze looked surprised, but he forced himself to flatten his fur.

"I'd like to talk to her alone, if that's okay with you," Spiderpaw meowed, keeping his voice carefully neutral. Fireblaze's fur bristled once more.

"It's okay," Blackpaw mewed, pressing her nose into her brother's fur. "Please."

Fireblaze looked completely bewildered, but to his credit he, for once, did not protest. He licked Blackpaw's ear tenderly, before rising to his paws. He gave Spiderpaw a firm, odd look, before turning away, padding towards Redpaw, who was looking half-asleep on the other side of camp.

Spiderpaw sat down beside Blackpaw; she leaned against him, resting her muzzle on his shoulder.

"It's your fault," he said. Blackpaw's ears flattened, hurt glimmering in her golden eyes, but she didn't attempt to defend herself.

"Birchpool was injured protecting you, and she's dead because of it," he continued. "But it's not only your fault. It's the fault of Carmelo's rogues, too. They're the ones who attacked you. Their the ones who pushed that rock."

"If I had been able to defend myself-"

"You would have been distracted by the battle, and the rogue might have killed you with a rock instead," Spiderpaw said. He stared down at his paws. "I wouldn't want that."

"Better me than her," Blackpaw mewed. "Birchpool had more to offer to the Clan than I do."

"We both know Fireblaze would be half-mad without you," Spiderpaw said. "I'm not saying that Birchpool wasn't a good warrior, but you've got just as much to offer as she did." He licked her ear. "Don't let her have wasted her life by saving you. She thought you were worth saving. It's your duty now to live up to that."

She nodded slowly. "I want to, Spiderpaw. I want to so badly, but I'm just afraid...I'm afraid I'm not strong enough, not fast enough, not _good _enough to be able to protect my Clan."

He licked her ear. "Don't worry. When I'm finished with you, you will be. All I ask is that you're really and truly willing to work this time. You can't hide anymore, Blackpaw. I know it seems like that's easier, but you've got to stand up for yourself." His eyes softened. "I'd say you've already made progress, sending Fireblaze away like you did. You can't always depend on him. I know he's your brother, and he'd do anything to defend you...but you can't let him end up like Birchpool."

She nodded again. "I know. I promise, Spiderpaw, I'll train as hard as I can. I might not end up being the best warrior...but as long as I can protect my Clan, I know Fireblaze will be proud of me."

Spiderpaw let out a quiet purr. "That's exactly what I want to hear."

They sat there together for a moment, silent; Spiderpaw could almost hear Blackpaw's heart thumping in her chest, and he started to groom her, working slowly and carefully, until her heartbeat stopped behaving like a fluttering bird and began to settle. She relaxed under his touch, sighing as he eased her tension.

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye, and he turned; Birchpool's body was being placed in the center of camp. Her fluffy white fur had been groomed to perfection; if it wasn't for the thick cobwebs hiding the wound that had killed her, she might have been simply asleep. Spiderpaw felt Blackpaw's heart begin thumping rapidly once more as she laid eyes on the dead warrior, as she heard Robinpaw let out a wordless wail of grief and rush to her mentor's side, shadowed by a silent Blizzardpaw.

"It's my fault," Blackpaw said again, trembling. "It's my fault, my fault, my fault..." She buried her face in Spiderpaw's fur, trembling. Spiderpaw spotted Fireblaze rise to his paws on the other side of camp, eyes narrowed, but Spiderpaw flicked his tail at him, motioning for him to stay away.

"Do you want to say goodbye to her?" he asked softly once she stopped whispering to herself. "This is your only chance, of course."

She turned again to look at the body, and trembled. "I-I can't. Everyone knows it was my fault...Robinpaw probably hates me now, I couldn't..."

"No one here is going to blame you," he said firmly. "The only ones they'll blame is Carmelo's crew. That's what keeps the Clan strong—we don't blame each other. Robinpaw will be mourning, but she won't be angry with you. You're friends, and she's not the type to hold anything against you."

Blackpaw took a deep breath. "I'd like to say goodbye. Will you come with me?"

His ears flattened, but he nodded. "Sure."

They rose together, padding towards the body like two silent shadows; Spiderpaw's heart seemed to grow heavier with each pawstep, until he and Blackpaw stopped, staring down at her. Blackpaw pressed her nose into Birchpool's fur, and whispered something to the white queen; Spiderpaw couldn't hear her words, but he could guess what she's saying.

_I'm sorry too, Birchpool, _he thought, closing his eyes. _I don't know if you can hear me...but if I could do it over again, I would have been on that patrol instead of Robinpaw. I would have been there to help you...maybe I could have saved you..._

A memory floated into his mind, of Birchpool on patrol; he remembered her staring up at the clouds, looking somewhat dazed but oddly happy. _She was never the type to let things trouble her. She was always adrift in her thoughts, but she always had something kind to say...I know you wouldn't want anyone to mourn too long for you, Birchpool. You'd want us all to let go as quickly as possible, to focus on the living...to focus on what we have to fight for. _He let out a quiet breath. _There's no point in thinking about what could have been, not for me or Blackpaw. We've got to prepare for the next challenge, the next battle, to make sure we're one pawstep ahead of Carmelo and all of his allies._

He touched Blackpaw's flank with his tail; for a moment she didn't move, but she finally drew away fro the white warrior, giving him a small smile.

"I think I'm going to sit with Fireblaze now," she said quietly. "But thank you, Spiderpaw."

He ruffled his fur, feeling faintly uncomfortable; there was something strange, something foreign in the way she was looking at him now. "Of course. I'll visit you tomorrow...we can discuss your training."

She nodded, and then quickly licked his muzzle, before padding towards her brother; Spiderpaw watched her, mystified, before rising to his paws to allow the next mourner to come in behind him. He hesitated, looking around the camp and wondering who to sit with; it was obvious the Clan wasn't sleeping tonight.

He smelled a faintly milky scent, and felt his mother's tail brush his shoulder. He turned towards her, and she drew him close with one paw, pressing him against her tightly. His nose was smashed up against her chest, making it difficult to breathe, but for one he didn't mind.

"I'm glad Sootpaw isn't here," she murmured into his fur. "The very thought of her fighting against Carmelo...the possibility that it could have been her instead of Birchpool...it sounds terrible, I know that, but a mother can't help but want to protect her kits at all costs."

"I know what you mean." His voice was muffled by her fur. "I'm glad she isn't here either. She made her choice, and she wouldn't have wanted to come back. This journey is her destiny."

Ravenwing sighed, and the two of them pulled apart. She gazed down at him, a sad little smile curling her muzzle. "I'd like to think you two are still my little Sootkit and Spiderkit; I wish the worst trouble you two could get into is just sneaking out of camp and tumbling into a river. But you're older now, and things are much more dangerous...I just don't want to lose either of you. You've always been a risk-taker; I never would have expected Sootpaw to sneak off like she did. And if she's brave enough to do that, then you, my little rebel..." She nuzzled his head. "Just promise me you'll keep yourself self. Play the hero if you must, but don't force me to bury my son."

He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to; she knew he couldn't make that promise, not so long as the lives of his Clanmates were on the line, and he knew that she was strong enough to weather his loss if necessary. It would hurt her—dear StarClan, it would hurt her—but underneath his mother's soft, gentle demeanor was a warrior as tough as steel.

_Let's hope that somewhere, Blackpaw has that same steel, _he thought. He pressed his pelt against his mother's, and she pressed hers against his. They sat together in silence, watching AshClan pay its last respects to their fallen warrior.

. . .

The next morning, Birchpool's body was buried; against Forestheart's wishes, Silverstar accompanied the warriors carrying the white she-cat. Jaggedclaw managed to limp after them; he growled at any cat that dared try to stop him.

"I'm an elder whether I like it or not, and this is my job," he rumbled. Spiderpaw was filled with pride as he watched the scarred warrior enter the forest, but he couldn't help but feel unhappy that Jaggedclaw's return to work within the Clan was due to the death of a Clanmate.

The Clan was silent as the burial party left the camp, and just as silent when they returned some time later; Eaglestrike hadn't ordered any patrols, no cats had left the camp to go and hunt, and the only cats that had moved otherwise were the injured, who had returned to the nursery with quiet somberness.

At sunhigh, the Clan finally stirred, as if they were coming awake again after a period of hibernation. Petalcloud padded towards Spiderpaw, her golden eyes dark and troubled.

"Come," was all she said as she flicked her tail; Spiderpaw looked to Ravenwing curiously, wondering what she made of the calico she-cat's strange behavior, but his mother simply licked his ear.

"Go on," Ravenwing mewed, and dutifully Spiderpaw followed his mentor.

"Should we be going out into the forest without any other warriors?" Spiderpaw asked as they left camp. "Eaglestrike hasn't even sent out a patrol yet."

Petalcloud didn't say anything; she simply continued walking, and Spiderpaw found that he was almost growing frightened.

_What if she's lost it? What if she's gone off the deep end? What if all this stress is too much for her? She used to be a kittypet, right? They aren't equipped to handle this sort of stuff...not like we forest cats are..._He said nothing, simply trailed after the dappled she-cat, but he found himself on high alert, ears swiveling and mouth open to catch any lingering traces of the invading rogues.

He grew even more apprehensive as he realized where their course was taking them. He looked to Petalcloud, but her face was expressionless; her honey-colored eyes were dark and her mouth was set firmly, but it was impossible to see what she was truly thinking.

Sure enough, the sharp tang of rogue-scent grew in his nose; his ears flattened as he scented blood as well, the blood of enemies and Clanmates alike. Petalcloud and Spiderpaw pushed through the brush together, and Spiderpaw sucked in a sharp breath as the bloodstained moss of GreenRocks came into view. His eyes skirted over the scene, taking everything in; the moss hanging off of the rocks in long strips, ripped away by sharp claws; the splash of blood underneath one of the medium-sized boulders, turned rusty red by time's touch; the stale scent of rogues and fear; the unmoving bodies of the enemies that had fallen to AshClan's claws.

Petalcloud said nothing, even as he looked up to her for guidance, wondering why they had come to see the grisly scene. Finally, he touched her flank with his tail.

"Why are we here?" he asked.

For a moment, he feared he would receive no response; then, Petalcloud began moving forward again, heading for the bloodstained boulder, the one that had almost certainly caused Birchpool's fatal wound. Petalcloud touched it gently with her thick, cloud-like tail, before continuing; here and there she stopped to point towards a rusty patch of earth, but mostly she simply walked, weaving her way through the rocks with the same stony expression. Then, she stopped, and turned to face her apprentice.

"Why are you here?" he asked again. "Why did you show me all of this?"

"The spots I marked for you are where Clan blood was spilled," she meowed, her golden eyes faintly misty. "Some of it is Birchpool's, some Darkstorm's, some Stormshadow's, Blackpaw's, and Robinpaw's...some of it was even Jaypaw's or Northstar's, perhaps."

"We already knew they were injured. Why is where their blood was spilled important?"

"I want you to look, Spiderpaw. I want you to see it. I want you to smell it. I want you to taste it, feel it, to hear it. I want you to _experience _this battle, Spiderpaw. Do that, and you'll see why I brought you here."

He waited, but she was staring at him as if she was anticipating something; he frowned, but complied, opening his mouth to scent the air once now. The scent of blood was thicker than it was before, and it seemed to rise up, attempting to choke him; he refused to allow it, sucking in a deeper and fuller breath instead, pushing beyond the initial choking sensation. He began to sort out the scents, first separating the rogues from the Clan cats, and then focusing more deeply on the rogue scents.

_Two toms and one she-cat, _he thought. _The she-cat smelled faintly of milk. She was a queen...she had kits at one point, although I guess if she was fighting here something must have happened to them..._He sucked in another breath hungrily, searching for more of the scent. _And one of the toms smells milky too...were they mates? Or was he the father of another litter, scent here to fight?_

_The second tom...he was sick at one point. I'm not sure with what, but he definitely smells ill. He must have been recovering from an illness, and was sent here to fight...or perhaps he was starting to get sick, and they sent him here to die._

He frowned. _These three cats...alone, on a level composed purely of their scents, they don't seem the type to attack and murder Clan cats...they were parents, two of them, and one of them was trying to get well again...And these are only the three that died here. The others' scents aren't as strong, I can't get much from them..._

He finally turned his eyes to the bodies; they were slightly bloated now, but not covered in flies; most of the insects had been killed by the cold, after all. The cold would be able to preserve the bodies for some time, perhaps a moon.

He stared at them, his gaze flicking from the sick tom – a skinny gray cat who looked as though he hadn't eaten in a moon – the father – a brown tabby with broad shoulders – and the queen – a slim tortoiseshell, whose fur would have been sleek and glossy if it wasn't matted with blood. The she-cat's eyes were still open, gleaming bright gold.

Slowly, she began to form in his mind; he could picture her like any Clan queen, standing protectively over her kits and snarling at her hidden enemies, golden eyes burning as bright as flame. And slowly in his mind's eye the other two toms joined her, protecting the huddled kits. He could almost hear their voices, their snarls, their battle cries.

His gaze flicked to one of the bloodstains on the moss, and the mental scene changed. He imagined the tortoiseshell slashing at Blackpaw there; he could see the black apprentice flinching, her eyes wide with fear as the tortoiseshell clawed at her face. He pictured the brown tom, the one who might have been the tortoiseshell's mate, joining in on the attack, backing Blackpaw into a corner. And in his mind's eye he saw Birchpool springing forward, her white fur gleaming like the stars as she valiantly fought to protect Blackpaw, just as the tortoiseshell would have fought for her kits. He imagined the third tom, the sick tabby, standing just above, pushing the boulder that would kill Birchpool as hard as he could. Spiderpaw could almost see his strain, hear his pained coughs as the tabby struggled to save his comrades from the spitting white warrior. Spiderpaw saw the boulder fall, heard Blackpaw's yowled warning that would come too late for Birchpool.

He flinched, cutting off the thoughts, stemming the tide of battle that roared in his mind; he realized that he was panting, and that Petalcloud had not moved. She was watching him still, her golden eyes emotionless as she gazed down on her apprentice.

_There's no way to know if that's how it happened...it's just one scenario, one of many, _Spiderpaw thought. _These three dead rogues are all I have to work with, but...but it could have happened like that. The tortoiseshell and her mate could have been fighting for their kits, fighting to ensure that their kits – if they even had kits, if they were even mates, if those kits are still alive - would have a brighter future in this forest under Carmelo's rule; the sick tom could have been pushing himself to the limit to ensure that outcome._

_They were fighting like warriors, all three of them. And they died for it. They died standing up for Carmelo and fighting for the future of all his rogues...just as Birchpool died standing up for AshClan and fighting for Blackpaw and her own son._

He looked to Petalcloud again, and now he could see that the emotionless look in her eyes was only a thin layer; underneath of it was a deep, dark wisdom, and he was only just now beginning to glean what Petalcloud already understood.

"I see it," he said. "I see it. I see the battle. I see them, our enemies."

"They aren't our enemies, any more than PeakClan was," Petalcloud said softly. "They're simply another group of cats wanting the best life possible for the next generation, just as we do. That's all Carmelo wants. AshClan chased PeakClan out of their territory for the future generation; now Carmelo is trying to do the same to us. It's like a circle, Spiderpaw."

"Well, we can't let them," Spiderpaw growled, bristling. "This is our home."

Petalcloud nodded. "Yes. You're right. We can't let them take our home. We can't step aside and let it happen any more than PeakClan did. PeakClan fought for their home too, Spiderpaw—you weren't even born before that battle, you know. PeakClan fought bravely against us, but in the end we were stronger because we were united." She looked towards the boulder that had struck Birchpool once more. "Birchpool died protecting my daughter. Blackpaw and Birchpool were not united; Blackpaw couldn't protect herself. Birchpool stepped in and it cost her her life. Protecting your Clanmates, watching each others' backs is what keeps us all united. Making friends with your Clanmates, instead of enemies...that's vital."

"I know."

"Do you?" She studied him for a moment. "I know you and Fireblaze have a long-standing grudge. I know that Blackpaw is involved. I know that your friendship with her is complicated. I brought you here to show you what's really important, Spiderpaw. You can't let your petty feuds get in the way of the Clan's unity. When we aren't united...we fall, all of us." She nodded towards the boulder. "We've seen this happen already. And now Carmelo has, too. You can bet that he isn't happy having his own soldiers die. He's going to be unifying them too; these fallen soldiers will be his martyrs, and through them he will only become stronger. We have to become stronger too, or we will fall, just as PeakClan fell to us."

He turned towards the fallen rogues, staring into the tortoiseshell's sightless eyes. "I understand."

To his surprise, she let out a quiet purr, touching her nose to his shoulder. "I knew you would, Spiderpaw. And I just want you to know that I am honored every day to be your mentor. There is no one that I would rather train than you." She gazed down at him, motherly fondness breaking into her golden eyes. He blinked up at her, and then reached up, touching noses with her.

"There's no one that I'd rather have as my mentor," he said, and was not surprised to find that when he looked inside of himself, it was true.

**AN: By the way, guys, some people have mentioned writing fanfics/drawing fanart of my stories. If you do, don't be afraid to show me! I love seeing what you guys have whipped up, and it's quite gratifying to be able to inspire someone else with my own work. So, feel free to do either of those if it strikes your fancy, so long as I get to admire the final result. :D**

**I know the last few chapters have been kind of jumpy, so I tried to keep this one more smooth, without so many page breaks; I think I succeeded, and hopefully it's smoother for all of you too, although I'm sure Spiderpaw's imagining of the battle threw some of you. He pieced together a mental scenario with all he had – the bodies of three dead rogues, and their scents, which gave him some clues as to who they were. All he knew was that the tortie was a queen, the brown tom was a father, and the gray tom was sick; through that, he attempted to construct their lives. The scene he imagined is entirely possible, but not the only possibility. It doesn't really matter, though; all that matters is the lesson learned. That much is a fact.**

**Blog update tomorrow, I don't have time tonight. **


	29. C h a p t e r 28

**C _h a p t e r _28**

_Moonpaw ran up to her as soon as she entered the dream; she greeted the black apprentice with a quiet purr._

"_Hey, Moonpaw. How are you?" she asked, only to blink when she saw the anxiety on the black apprentice's face. "Is something wrong?"_

"_Chillpaw needs to see you, and quickly," Moonpaw meowed. "Something's happened, and now it's time for you to make your decision. He can't wait any longer."_

_Sootpaw blinked, but nodded quickly. "Okay. Take me to him."_

_Moonpaw turned, plunging into the swirling mist; Sootpaw hastened to catch up, having to run just to keep the black apprentice in sight. Gradually, the mist began to clear, and she could make out Chillpaw's ghostly form._

"_Chillpaw!" she exclaimed, dashing towards him, passing Moonpaw; the black apprentice had stopped, simply watching. "What happened? What's wrong?"_

_He said nothing until they touched noses, sending the familiar icy tingle running through her body._

"_We were attacked," he meowed. Her eyes widened, and the other Dark Forest cats rose in her mind; her breath caught as she realized that if even one of them died, the ceremony would be that much harder to complete. Chillpaw had said that it would already be more difficult with only seven cats instead of nine; what would they do if they were down to six, or five? Could they even attempt it?_

"_Oh, it's sweet if you to look so worried," a smooth voice purred. Blight padded forward out of the shadows, his single eye gleaming. "We're all still alive and well. There's no need to fret, pet."_

_She looked to Chillpaw for confirmation, and he nodded._

"_We are all still alive, at the very least," he meowed, and flicked his tail, motioning for her to follow. Blight turned with a slight smirk, padding alongside the white tom._

_It was darker than before, she noted; there was still the single star gleaming in the sky, but it seemed smaller now, weaker. The scenery looked more gray than anything, with the shadows hovering underneath every branch._

_The two toms led her deeper into the forest; she could barely make out the shapes of the other cats. Most of them sat up when they saw her, but one remained lying down; the thick-furred tom, Swiftshade._

"_Is he injured?" she whispered to Chillpaw. _

"_Sort of," the white tom replied. "He was injured defending Nettlefrost in battle, but the injury healed almost immediately. We don't bleed like living cats; we bleed lifeforce, and it heals our injuries as it seeps out..."_

"_That's what keeps you here, right? The lifeforce stuff?" she asked. "And when you run out of it, you fade?"_

"_Exactly," Blight meowed. "Lifeforce is the only thing that keeps us tethered here...and a few of us will be running rather low soon." Sootpaw followed his eyes towards the other cats, and blinked as Brightstar's odd-eyed gaze met her own._

But why was Swiftshade defending Nettlefrost? _Sootpaw wondered. _She was the deputy of ThunderClan, right? Shouldn't she have been strong enough to take care of herself?

"_I see," was all she said, before asking, "Who was it that attacked you?"_

_Chillpaw shrugged. "Just a small group. We outnumbered them fairly easily, and they weren't all that intelligent. We dispatched them."_

_Sootpaw looked around, but couldn't see any bodies. Did Dark Forest cats fade away when they died, leaving no trace of their existence behind? Somehow, she found this to be impossibly sad._

Why did they attack the group if they were outnumbered? _She wondered, but didn't have time to ask; Chillpaw was fixing her with his icy eyes, and it was obvious that he was wanting to ask her a question. It wasn't difficult to guess what it was about._

"_I've made my decision," she said quietly._

"_That much is obvious. You're going to help us; you wouldn't have followed us thus far if you weren't," Chillpaw meowed. Blight let out an amused purr at the expression on her face._

"_You're too soft to follow us here and see the faces of the cats you were leaving behind, pet, that's how we know you're going to help," he explained. "Although, judging from your expression, there are conditions attached."_

_Her ears flattened, and she nodded. "I hope you don't mind, but...although I will help you, I don't want to know your crimes...at least not right away." Chillpaw's ears pricked but he said nothing, waiting for her to continue, and she plunged forward, "I know that eventually you all will have to tell me what you did...but I'd like to put that off as long as possible. The problem of me hearing your crimes and nothing else is __that as soon as I know what you've done...I won't be able to think of anything but that. I won't be able to really think of you as anything but murderers or thieves or...whatever you were." Her voice faltered as Chillpaw stared at her. "But if I could get to know you all before then...if I could understand not just how but _why _you all did what you did, I think it would be better..." She trailed off uncertainly._

_Blight turned towards the others, who had been listening intently. He smiled, his single eye gleaming. "What did I tell you?"_

"_It wasn't that hard to predict," Brightstar growled. "I told you both that she was too young and too soft to be helpful. Us sharing our lives with her is a waste of time. She made a promise and she should keep it without any cobwebs attached."_

"_I think it's a good idea," Shrew said timidly, only to shrink back as Dapplefern snarled at him._

"_You aren't allowed to speak," she spat. "Not with what _you've _done."_

"_It's because of what he's done that he prefers Sootpaw getting to know him before he tells her," Nettlefrost remarked with cold amusement._

_Shrew flattened his belly to the ground, ears flat against his head as Dapplefern towered over him, still hissing._

"_I don't think Sootpaw getting to know him will help, since he's such a disgusting coward," Brightstar sneered. "_My _Clan would never have tolerated such weakness...he would have been chased out before he knew what had happened. But ShadowClan has always been forced to pander to the helpless...all of their warriors are weak. It's why they nearly perished in my time—"_

"_Like WindClan was much better!" Dapplefern scoffed, turning towards the old leader. "From what Nettlefrost has said, WindClan nearly perished under your reign, too! Didn't StarClan send a fire to wipe you out?"_

_Brightstar let out a furious hiss. "StarClan would have never dared to raise a paw to me and my Clan! Nettlefrost is a liar!" _

_Nettlefrost met Brightstar's unsheathed claws with chilly indifference. "All I can say is that ThunderClan was doing much better than WindClan under your reign, Brightstar, and far better than ShadowClan. Make of that what you will."_

_Sootpaw's eyes shot to Swiftshade, half-expecting him to interject something about the power of his own Clan, RiverClan, but the blue-and-white tom was strangely silent, watching the she-cats fight with emotionless yellow eyes._

"_Don't you _dare _speak to me in such a tone, insolent whelp!" Brightstar spat. "You __weren't even _alive _during my reign. What does a pathetic kit like _you _know of the struggles of WindClan?"_

"_I know that even fat RiverClan nearly took WindClan over in my time," Nettlefrost smirked, throwing an arrogant glance in Swiftshade's direction. "WindClan is utterly pathetic."_

"_Not as pathetic as a she-cat who dares throw away-" Brightstar's screech was cut off by Blight snarling,_

"_All of you! Be quiet!"_

_The three she-cats turned towards him, eyes sparking with anger._

"_And _you," _Brightstar seethed. "You and that stupid apprentice, always thinking that you are better than us. I am the oldest here, and the only leader! I was the first to come to the Dark Forest! If it wasn't for me and my connections, you would have never even heard of the Pool of Eternal Night-"_

"_Your 'connections?' Is that what you call them?" Dapplefern snorted. "When I came here, you were all alone! Your companions all left because they were tired of listening to you talk and talk about your great leadership! If your leadership was so great, why did your own medicine cat-"_

"_Enough!" _

_Chillpaw's voice was sharper than a dagger, and it seemed to cut into the entire group at once; they all flinched in unison, turning their eyes to him. Sootpaw marveled at his power; how had such a small, thin, young cat been able to silence them all so quickly?_

"_None of you are doing yourselves any favor at all by acting this way in front of Sootpaw," Chillpaw hissed. "You will drive her away and have no one but yourselves to blame...although I'm sure you'll each spend moons trying to figure out how to blame one another. Sootpaw just said that she has no desire to hear of your crimes, and yet you insist upon throwing them in each others' faces! I have told you before and I will tell you again that I will not stand for this kind of behavior. It makes no difference to me whether or not you manage to claw your ways back into life. Blight, Sootpaw, and I will gladly leave you here; you can all grovel before StarClan, scraping your bellies against the dirt to earn their approval." He swept his gaze over them, and even though his blue eyes were not directed towards her, Sootpaw couldn't help but tremble._

_He waited a moment, before hissing more quietly, "Sootpaw has laid out her terms for us. I say we accept them. Are we in agreement?"_

"_Yes," the others murmured, all save Blight, who looked towards Chillpaw with great interest gleaming in his eye. _

"_Good," Chillpaw meowed, the terrifying note in his voice now absent. "We've wasted enough time here; we need to keep moving if we're going to get to the Pool at a reasonable time." _

_Sootpaw blinked with surprise. "I'm going to be walking with you?"_

_He blinked at her. "Yes. We've waited long enough for you to make your decision. We can't waste any more time. From now on, in all likelihood whenever you dream of us we will be on the move. You will still be able to find us; Blight and myself will anchor you to this place. You will not become lost, so long as we are here waiting for you."_

_She nodded, indicating her understanding. Chillpaw flicked his tail, and after a brief pause, Swiftshade slowly rose to his paws and Shrew stopped cowering against the ground. Chillpaw said nothing more, simply padding forward, moving between the tall, dark trees; slowly, the other Dark Forest cats trailed after him. Blight broke into a trot to catch up to the white tom, falling into his stride as he reached him._

_Sootpaw's ears flattened, and her eyes darted from each cat uncertainly; she wasn't sure if she was supposed to walk with Chillpaw, or fall behind with the others._

_Swiftshade paused for a moment, looking over his shoulder at her; Shrew copied him, giving Sootpaw a timid smile and flicking his tail, inviting her to join them._

_She loped towards them, panting slightly. "Um, hello."_

_Swiftshade gave Shrew a look. "I think I will be the first to speak with her."_

_Shrew's ears flattened, but he nodded. "Er, that's fine. I guess I'll just...walk a bit faster." He hurried forward, his tail dipping down low with anxiety._

_Sootpaw watched him go; she found herself wondering what any cat could have done that would be terrible enough for even Dark Forest cats to look down upon him. _Perhaps he ran away during battle? _Sootpaw guessed. _Or...sided with the enemy so he didn't get hurt?

"_Chillpaw has suggested that you and I speak first," Swiftshade rumbled, "because I will be the first to share my story with you."_

_She blinked at him curiously. "Why is that?"_

_He shrugged. "You have displayed characteristics that I lack; my fatal flaw led to my downfall, and my coming here. You do not share it." She blinked at him quizzically, but he merely shrugged again. "It is part of the ceremony."_

"_Okay," she mewed, feeling slightly unnerved. _Blight and Chillpaw both said that they will be some of last ones for me to speak to...so is this planned from the very beginning? Or do I have to 'display certain characteristics' before I can hear their story? I suppose it's good that Chillpaw is at the end...I want to get to know him the most. He's the one that doesn't fit. He's the youngest, the smallest – well, Shrew might be a little smaller – the coldest, the leader...the only one whose crimes I've seen first paw. He's the one I'm most curious about...

_She realized that Swiftshade was watching her, and she blinked. "Sorry, I was just thinking about something."_

_Swiftshade nodded slowly. "Sometimes a few moments of reflection – or even a few hours – are useful to clear the mind," he said. "Take as much time as you like."_

_She shook her head. "No, no, I'm finished now. I know I should be spending all of my time trying to help you guys...so, um, what do you want to talk about?"_

"_What do you want to know?"_

_Swiftshade spent the next few minutes answering her questions with short, easy answers: she learned that his father had died when he was very young; he had a sister, who had been smaller than him but much smarter; his mother had always been somewhat distant, but he remembered her fondly as being pretty and kind. Sootpaw learned that his favorite prey was vole, which most RiverClan cats thought was odd; his favorite activity was sunning himself and watching the clouds pass; he had never been especially close to any of his Clanmates; he had once had one friend, but she had passed away during his apprenticeship, and he wouldn't speak any more of her. _

_He answered almost every question she threw at him, but she still somehow felt that she didn't know him at all; she was only scratching the surface, only learning useless, trivial information. She wanted to find _him, _the real Swiftshade that was buried under his easygoing demeanor. She wanted to learn of his ambitions, what he prized above all else, how he thought, not superficial things like his favorite prey. And yet, she couldn't think of any way to find out without delving into his crimes, an area that she was not yet confident enough to broach. _

"_Anything else?" he asked, but she simply sighed, feeling tired and frustrated. His ears pricked, and he blinked slowly. "Did I say something wrong?"_

"_No." Her voice was quiet, a note of helplessness embedded in it. "I just don't know what I'm doing."_

"_You're helping us."_

"_Yes, but...why? All I know is that most cats would consider you all to be evil...and from what I've seen, several of you have terrible tempers and have done terrible things and yet I'm still trying to save you...and I don't know whether it's right or wrong, all I know is that I promised and can't go back on my world, but I'm just getting pulled deeper and deeper into a world that I don't understand. I'm not strong enough for this, not for any of it, and eventually I'm just going to drown in all this darkness because I can't seem to find my footing..." She trailed off, realizing that she was growing short of breath from babbling for so long. She glanced towards him, shame burning underneath of his fur, but he only watched her carefully._

"_Everyone bites off more than they can handle, one way or another," he meowed. "Or...almost everyone." He looked away, his eyes drifting up towards the inky black sky. "Some of us just give everything to someone else, someone stronger, and hope that everything works out for the best...and sometimes it does, but sometimes it doesn't..."_

_She stared at him, wondering at the almost melancholy note in his voice. "Is that what brought you here?"_

_His eyes dropped from the sky abruptly, and bored into her. "Perhaps. But I don't think you want to hear about that yet."_

_She felt a prickle of curiosity, but resisted the urge to act upon it; Swiftshade was right. She wasn't yet ready to handle the knowledge of his crimes, not until she understood the reasons behind them._

"_But, what I don't understand is that if you're the type who would rather give the responsibilities to someone else...then why did you protect Nettlefrost in battle?"_

"_Who told you I did?"_

"_Chillpaw, and I can't see him really lying to me."_

_Amusement flitted over Swiftshade's strong features, but only for a second. "He wasn't lying. I did protect her."_

"_But why? You're not a coward like Shrew is, but...you don't seem all that brave, either."_

"_I can't really say that I'm brave, no. But I'm not a coward, either. These conflicts in the group...they don't concern me. I don't want to get involved. It's not any of my business. And in battle, I'm not likely to stand up for another...again, it doesn't concern me."_

"_So why Nettlefrost? She seems strong enough to protect herself. She was the deputy, right?" Sootpaw asked. Swiftshade nodded._

"_She was the deputy of her Clan, but only for a short time, I believe. As for why...well, she was being attacked, and I was nearby. I had to help."_

_She frowned with confusion. "You just said you prefer to stay out of conflicts. So why did you have to help?"_

_Swiftshade's eyes darkened. "I don't know. Perhaps because she reminded me of my sister. She's cold, and smart, just like my sister was."_

_Sootpaw's eyes gleamed with understanding. "It was your sister that you followed, wasn't it? She was the one that you handed the responsibilities to. And somehow, it led to you getting here. And you can't help but move towards she-cats that remind you of your sister, because that's all you knew; your father and your mother were both absent, and you didn't have any friends...your sister was all you had."_

_Swiftshade simply stared at her for a moment, as if lost for words; then, slowly, he smiled. "Chillpaw wasn't kidding. You're smarter than you look."_

_She couldn't help but laugh; there was something about the thick-furred tom that she instinctively liked. He reminded her almost of Birchpool, in his relaxed, laid-back nature. Then, she sobered as she forced herself to remember who Swiftshade really was; he wasn't some airy, spacey she-cat who enjoyed gazing at clouds and sharing tongues with her son. Swiftshade was quite possibly a killer, perhaps even of multiple cats._

"_So, you followed her sister. What did she want you to do?"_

_Once more, his eyes were unable to hold hers. They slid away, floating up towards the sky. He sighed quietly. "I miss the clouds. This darkness is nothing to look at." He looked to her again. "Do you know what I really miss the most?"_

"_The stars?" she guessed, trying to hold her curiosity at bay. He snorted._

"_No. Have you ever really looked at the stars? They're distant, always hiding behind the clouds...they only come out at night, when the sky is cold and dark. The stars are supposed to guide our paths, but they're a world away, untouchable...no. What I really miss is the color blue. The sky's never blue here...the only blue I ever get to see is in the eyes of Brightstar and Chillpaw, and I never want to look too long at them." He wrinkled his nose._

"_Did your sister have blue eyes?"_

_His silence was answer enough. She hesitated, then touched his fluffy flank with her tail._

"_I have a brother," she told him. "His eyes are green, and they're really bright because his fur is so dark. My mother's the same way. I know if something happened to them...I'd really miss seeing them too." _

_The older tom still said nothing, so she continued, "In some ways, I'm really no better than you. I follow Spiderpaw around all the time too; when we were kits, I did exactly what he said...even if it was really stupid. We sneaked out of camp together once, and nearly died...although I guess that was my fault." She laughed quietly._

"_You nearly drowned because you left your brother. You chose a different path, struck out on your own," Swiftshade rumbled. "And now you've made your own choice again, here on this journey. There's a chance you might die now too...wouldn't you say it would have been safer if you had simply stayed home? Wouldn't you say that following your brother would have led you down the more secure path?"_

"_More secure, maybe...but not the right one," she replied. "Joining this journey's what is right for me. It's something I have to do. I have to prove myself. I...I guess you never did that."_

"_No...I suppose I never did." His amber-yellow eyes were misty, distant. "I allowed my sister to do all the proving. She always knew what she wanted from life. She was never confused. She had a set path and she stuck to it, no matter who had to die..."_

_Her ears pricked. "So, you really did it? You killed someone for her?"_

"_More than just someone. Several someones, one of which was our deputy. My sister wanted power, and she got it..."_

_Sootpaw's ears flattened, but she continued, "Your sister never got it, though, did she? The rest of the Clan saw through her, saw her ambitions and intentions."_

_Swiftshade laughed. "No. My sister was a master of manipulation. She could always twist others' words around so that she was in the right and they were wrong. Most of the Clan loved her. She became leader with almost no opposition, once ours...mysteriously died. Very few had anything against her, and I took care of them too."_

"_She twisted you so you'd do what she said, didn't she?"_

_He nodded. "I was her plaything. She knew I had no ambition, no real desires other than to be left alone...to be normal. She poked and prodded and pushed and wheedled and twisted until I would do whatever she said...I had no choice. So I killed the deputy, and I killed the cat that would have been chosen deputy before her, and I killed the leader and I killed the two cats who dared oppose her. And after all that, she threw me away."_

"_Threw you away?" Sootpaw echoed. Swiftshade laughed, an awful, bitter sound._

"_That's exactly what I mean. Once she had reached the pinnacle of her power, once she had become secure, she became paranoid. I was the only one who knew about her rise to power. I had to be eliminated, to make sure that I could never speak against her."_

"_You said she was small though, right? She couldn't have been strong enough to kill you...and making someone else do it would just be adding another cat that knew about her dark side, right?"_

_Swiftshade laughed again. "You're exactly right. She couldn't have me killed. But she could frame me for the death of another...the Clan chased me out without a twinge of guilt. I had never really been one of them." He looked to her again. "You said you wanted to wait to get to know us before hearing our crimes...but you dragged it out of me anyway."_

"_Once I figured out your motivation...everything else kind of became clear," she admitted. "I guess...I guess I know you're all capable of terrible things. What I really want to know is _why. _Like, why did you come here? I thought StarClan forgave those who feel remorse for what they've done."_

"_They do."_

_Her ears flattened. "But how can you not feel bad? You were used and thrown away, just like you said. You killed innocent cats and were betrayed. How can you not feel bad?"_

"_Because if I hadn't, she would have simply had me exiled sooner," Swiftshade answered. "I didn't live very long on my own; I didn't have the motivation, the stamina for it. When you're dying, every moment seems impossibly sweet...by doing what she asked, I managed to draw out my life for several years. If I hadn't gone along with her plans, my life would have been moons shorter."_

"_So you're fine with innocents having to die just so you can live a few more years yourself?" She couldn't cloak her surprise and disgust. _

"_I'm not proud of it. But you have to own up to who you are, and in this case that is exactly who I am." He met her eyes firmly this time. "These are the kinds of cats you're dealing with. At our core, we might not all be bad...but we're remorseless. We're selfish. We grab onto life with both claws and never look back, never think of who had to suffer for us to live."_

_She stopped walking, and he stopped too, watching her carefully._

"_So, I really am helping a bunch of remorseless killers come back to life," she whispered._

"_You're giving us a second chance," he growled. "A fresh start. Who knows? In my new life, I might not have a sister. I might have two parents to watch over me. I might be close to my Clanmates. Everything could be different. That's why were going on this journey, Sootpaw. I don't want to spend an eternity as an outsider in StarClan – there are rumors that we can be allowed in if we past tests and show remorse. But how do you think cats like me would be looked upon there? We'd be little more than common prey, or even dirt. That's not what I want. I want a chance to be something more than...what I became." His ears flattened, and as much as she wanted to fight it, she couldn't help but feel the faintest stirring of pity._

_She stared down at her paws, not trusting herself to speak; she wasn't sure whether she would condemn Swiftshade, or offer him hope. She closed her eyes, trying to picture Swiftshade's victims, but could not; he had mentioned them so offhandedly, so carelessly, as if killing them hadn't mattered to him at all. It had just been part of his duties to his sister._

_Then, her ears pricked as something occurred to her, and she looked up at him. He blinked back at her uncertainly, his tail lowered slightly._

"_Your sister...she must be dead by now too, right?" Sootpaw asked. "Did she come here?"_

"_No." Swiftshade's ears flattened. "She went to StarClan. Brightstar helped me look into the past – she's been here the longest, so she knows the most – and in my sister's final moons she regretted what she had done. Maybe it was just out of fear, or she was truly coming to her senses...either way, she showed remorse and StarClan allowed her to join them."_

"_But if she had come here...what would you have done? Would you have tried to hurt her, to take revenge for what she did to you?"_

_He looked startled, but his answer was immediate. "No. I would never have done anything to hurt her."_

"_Even with all she did?"_

"_She was my sister." He said it as if that simple fact explained everything. "You would never hurt your brother. I could never hurt my sister."_

_She gave him a small, sad smile, and then touched her nose to his shoulder. "Then perhaps there's still hope. Maybe you can do better the second time around."_

_Swiftshade's eyes glinted, and he dipped his head to her. "I will. I swear it."_

_Sootpaw nodded, then turned towards the rest of the group to see how far ahead they had gotten since she and Swiftshade had stopped, only to find that the others had stopped as well and were watching the two of them. Sootpaw flushed underneath her fur._

"_Sorry," she mewed, and she and the blue-and-white tom padded towards them quickly. "We were just talking."_

_Chillpaw flicked his tail, beckoning her, and with a last look at Swiftshade, she hurried to catch up to him, walking alongside him. Chillpaw gave Blight a silent look, and the gray tabby dipped his head before falling back._

"_I trust it went well?" _

_She gave him a small shrug. "I think so...I mean, I learned more than I expected...and I'm still not quite sure how I feel about all of this...but I do feel kind of hopeful. I think if Swiftshade has a better family and Clan the next time around...he could be a really good cat."_

"_So he told you everything."_

"_Yes. I kind of dragged it out of him, I guess. I didn't really plan on it at first, but it just sort of happened."_

_Chillpaw smiled. "Good. That is how it should be. Don't let your misgivings cloud your mind; go along with what your heart tells you while you're here. Yours is more trustworthy than ours."_

_She laughed quietly. "Is that a compliment?"_

"_I don't give compliments unless they're well deserved," he answered. Sootpaw peered at him curiously, unable to tell if he was joking or not._

"_Well, I guess I'll just take that as one," she mewed, giving him a small nudge with her shoulder. He didn't smile, or nudge her back as another apprentice would have done; he simply watched her, and her ears flattened._

"_Sorry," she mumbled, pulling away. "Sometimes it's just easy to forget that you're not a Clanmate."_

"_How could it be? The only time you knew me as a Clanmate was in your dreams," he said. She gave a feeble shrug._

"_I don't know. It's just...easy to forget, like I said. Yesterday I was messing around with Brackenpaw like I had known him all my life, you know? If we were in our normal setting we probably wouldn't even talk with each other, but when we're all stuck together like this, you kind of have to be friendly with one another."_

_Chillpaw's ear twitched. "The others here do not see it in that light."_

_She flinched, remembering the fight between the three she-cats. "Yeah, I know. But maybe we can change that on this journey too, don't you think? We can make everything better."_

_Chillpaw was staring at her again; she tried not to ruffle her fur under his unnerving stare. Then, something in his gaze shifted._

"_Perhaps..."_

_Her ears pricked. "Perhaps what?"_

_His eyes drifted away from hers. "Perhaps if they had all known someone like you...things could have been different."_

"_But even if you and I had known each other, things would be the same for you?"_

_He smiled, but it was a smile devoid of joy or amusement. "I believe I was doomed the moment my mother died."_

"_Well...maybe the next time around will be different," she offered. "After all, you won't remember anything about your past. You'll have a clean start."_

"_We can only hope."_

_She walked alongside him, uncertain whether or not to say anything more; Chillpaw's moods – if that was even how she could describe them – were completely alien to her. He wasn't like anyone she had ever known; he seemed cold and indifferent to everything, but if that was true, why bother trying to come back to life at all? If there was nothing that offered pleasure to him, why struggle so against the darkness to reclaim a beating heart?_

If I can treat a stranger like a Clanmate, I mustn't treat a Clanmate like a stranger, _she thought, and, despite her misgivings, pressed her pelt against his. He flinched and almost seemed that he was going to move away, but as she blinked up at him he stopped._

"_Your next life will be better, I promise. You just have to try, okay?" She cocked her head to the side. "Promise that you'll try to remember this in your next life. Promise you'll try to remember that things will be better, you just have to _try."

_He studied her for a moment, then nodded. "I promise." He smiled, and this time she thought she might have saw something other than ice in his eyes. Then, he touched his nose to her forehead, and said softly, "It's time for you to wake up."_

_The dream peeled away like a twisted cobweb._

**AN: I think this is the first chapter I've ever written that was entirely a dream. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.**

**Information on what Sootpaw did during the day of Birchpool's death (since she and Spider are on a linear timeline): On the blog.**

**Information about Swiftshade and his Sin (because, as Shimmertail guessed, the DF cats are based on the seven deadly sins: On the blog.**

**Updated Allegiances (adding the journeying cats, at least those we know): On the blog.**

**My heartfelt farewell as NaNo approaches: Right here.**

**Seriously, this is almost certainly the last update for Chilled until at least December 1st, since NaNo is going to totally consume my life for November. Depending on how it goes, I should be able to plunge right back into Chilled in December (but please review; it definitely helps with motivation after coming back from such a long break). **

**Until December, please keep an eye on my fictionpress account if you want to read my NaNo as I go along, since it'll be posted there (my username there is also Prin Pardus).**

**See you there! (If I could make a heart here I would. :D)**


	30. C h a p t e r  29

**C _h a p t e r _29**

He stirred, one ear twitching before his eyes opened, feeling as heavy as stone. They glinted like green leaves in the darkness. He stretched his long, lithe body, arching his back while screwing his eyes closed in a massive yawn. He gave a weary sigh, shaking his pelt; it felt as though he had been sleeping for an entire moon, almost as if he had plunged into a dark abyss and was only just now working his way out.

_Certainly feels like a long night, _he thought, and looked around the den; Redpaw was asleep, but Leopardpaw and Blizzardpaw were nowhere to be seen.

_I need to speak to him, _he mused as he gazed at Blizzardpaw's empty den. _I think he would make a good sparring partner, so long as he actually has the time. I'm sure being my father's apprentice is no easy task. He expects a lot out of everyone._

His green eyes darted towards the entrance of the den, and he was surprised to find that the sun was only just beginning to cast rosy fingers over the sky; it was earlier than he had anticipated. He looked to his nest feeling a surge of longing, wanting to crawl back inside and forget all about his apprentice duties.

_But I guess I can't, not after losing Birchpool...everyone needs to work harder to ensure that we don't lose another Clanmate. _

Heaving a sigh, he padded out of the apprentice den and paused in the entrance, flicking his gaze over the camp. More cats were up than he had expected; his mother and her sister were sharing prey, Darkstorm was eating with Fireblaze, and Stormshadow sat in the entrance to the nursery. Spiderpaw watched Stormshadow, curious about how the gray tom was coping with Birchpool having died in the same den; the tom didn't look upset, but then again he rarely did.

Spiderpaw's pelt prickled as he felt eyes upon him. He glanced towards Fireblaze, and was not surprised to find the ginger tabby staring at him. For once, his expression wasn't one of anger or distaste; Spiderpaw actually couldn't read it at all, which puzzled him.

_What's he thinking about? Planning on how to get back at me for spending time with his sister? _Spiderpaw wondered. His temper surged up within him like a blazing flame, before petering out with abrupt ease. Spiderpaw didn't have the strength or time to be angry with Fireblaze, as much of a furball as he was. He had other things to think about.

Spiderpaw's gaze swept over the camp once more as he searched for his father; the gray tom appeared in the medicine den just as he looked towards it, and Spiderpaw immediately padded towards him.

He felt a prickle of concern run over his pelt as he saw how hollow Eaglestrike's eyes appeared without their usual yellow glint. His father attempted a smile as Spiderpaw approached, but it didn't quite reach his dull orbs.

"Is Silverstar okay?" Spiderpaw asked. Eaglestrike's eyes unconsciously flicked towards the medicine den, but he nodded.

"She's fine. Just a little tired, I think. She's always hated losing Clanmates," his father meowed. "She feels responsible for Birchpool's death. I told her she shouldn't – she's sick after all, what could she have done? - but I can do little to ease her conscience. Shimmerfrost should be comforting her, that's what medicine cats are for, but she just seems so...distant."

Spiderpaw swallowed, and quickly looked down at his paws, afraid that his fear would show in his eyes. "I'm sure Silverstar will feel better soon, now that we've got the herbs...or the snowberry plant, I guess."

Eaglestrike's tail lashed from side to side. "That's part of the problem, I'm afraid. We recovered the plant, and we've planted it near the river for the moment; we'll discuss where the plant will stay soon, since waiting until the next Gathering will be too long. Silverstar should be eating some of the berries now, but she's refusing, saying that the PeakClan cats need them more than us..." His ears flattened. "It's true that they have more sick cats and are more susceptible to the disease, but we need a leader now more than ever." He gave a little strange half-smile. "I honestly pray that you will never become deputy, Spiderpaw. Dealing with the leader is a bit frustrating at times. From what I've seen, they – or at least those of Silverstar's line – tend to be self-sacrificing...which is, unfortunately, a terrible trait in a leader." He shook his head.

"What about Jaypaw?"

"Silverstar isn't objecting to him receiving treatment, but he's refusing it as well...following her example, I'm afraid. He said that the PeakClan cats he met on the journey – most of them, anyway – were not so bad at all...and apparently Swanpaw mentioned her sister, which bothered him because he of course thought of his own. Jaypaw says he won't take any of the berries until PeakClan's apprentices are tended to, to make sure that PeakClan doesn't lose any more apprentices than they already have. It's noble, certainly, but frustrating..."

"Maybe Robinpaw should have a talk with him? I'm sure he'd take them if she told him to."

Eaglestrike nodded. "That's true, but Robinpaw's been through quite a bit the last few days, and I don't want her to take on anything more than she already has. She needs to focus on her training right now...which reminds me, I need to assign her a new mentor very soon."

Spiderpaw blinked with surprise. "Who?" Then, his ears flattened. "Please tell me it's not Fireblaze."

Eaglestrike's whiskers twitched with amusement. "He's hardly old enough for his first apprentice. If Thistlethorn was here, I might consider him, but...for the moment, Stormshadow will have to suffice."

"Stormshadow? But he was badly injured," Spiderpaw protested. "Shimmerfrost said he was lucky his guts didn't spill out, remember?"

"We don't have any other available warriors, and everyone else is too busy. Stormshadow is the only open warrior right now. He won't be able to train her for awhile, but at least having a mentor should give Robinpaw some comfort."

Stormshadow being awake suddenly made sense to Spiderpaw, but he wasn't quite sure he liked the idea. Stormshadow wasn't a bad cat, but he was impatient and brash; he would expect too much from Robinpaw, considering her bad leg, injuries, and mourning for her mentor.

_At least she probably won't be training for awhile either; she needs to heal and rest, _he thought. _Maybe by the time she is actually able to train, someone else will be open besides Stormshadow..._

"What was it that you came to talk to me about, anyway?" Eaglestrike asked. "It must be important, you're not usually up this early."

"Oh...well, I was going to volunteer for the dawn patrol," he answered. "It seems like...something I need to do."

Eaglestrike's eyes gleamed, and he rasped his tongue over his son's ear. "Good for you. Darkstorm and Fireblaze are also on the dawn patrol, so you'll have a little company."

Spiderpaw's ears flattened – the last thing he wanted to do was to spend time with the ginger furball – but he simply nodded. "Fine."

"Blizzardpaw should be going with you," Eaglestrike continued. "He's in the nursery with Robinpaw right now, but he'll be finished in time for the patrol."

Spiderpaw looked over his shoulder towards Stormshadow, and thought he saw a white tail poking out of the nursery.

_Blizzardpaw and Robinpaw...? _he thought, the possibility occurring to him for the first time. He shook his head, banishing the thought; Robinpaw was his cousin, but it wasn't really any of his business who she liked spending time with. _They're probably just friends anyway._

"Do you want me to go and get him?"

Eaglestrike shrugged. "If you like. The patrol should be setting out soon, okay? We need to make sure that the rogues are sniffing around our territory, that we taught them a lesson before. Understand?"

Spiderpaw unsheathed his claws. "I'd like the rogues to show their faces and see what happens," he growled.

Eaglestrike nodded and flicked his tail, dismissing Spiderpaw; the black tom quickly trotted towards the nursery.

"'Scuse me," he said, edging past Stormshadow to peer into the nursery. Blackpaw was huddled in the back, but she didn't look up as he entered, which rankled him; he turned to focus on Blizzardpaw and Robinpaw, who had been pressed together and whispering when he entered.

Robinpaw blinked at Spiderpaw with concern. "Is something wrong? Did something happen?"

"He' just here for me," Blizzardpaw mewed, and licked Robinpaw's ear in a manner that seemed a little _too _friendly to Spiderpaw.

_You're just being paranoid, _he thought, as Blizzardpaw explained that he had volunteered for the dawn patrol.

Robinpaw's ears flattened. "Oh. Be careful, okay? Don't let anyone turn their backs to the trees, not unless someone else is watching...and make sure you're scenting the whole time, and listening too, so they won't catch you by surprise."

"I know how to patrol, Robinpaw," Blizzardpaw said, but his eyes were gentle as he gazed down upon the ginger apprentice. Robinpaw looked oddly fragile to Spiderpaw, as if she might splinter under a harsh word; he couldn't blame her, considering what had happened the past few days, but at the same time it was unsettling to see the usually plucky apprentice looking so down.

"Come on, Darkstorm and Fireblaze will be leaving soon," Spiderpaw said, before turning and pushing his way past Stormshadow once more. The white tom trailed after him.

"Fireblaze, huh?" Blizzardpaw said quickly as he saw the ginger tom and his old mentor standing near the entrance; Fireblaze looked as impatient as ever. "Try to keep a cool head, okay? This is the last time to pick fights with Clanmates..."

"Now you sound like Jaypaw, predicting me behaving badly before it even happens," Spiderpaw snapped, then regretted his words as he saw that Blizzardpaw's eyes had flicked towards the medicine den at the mention of the gray apprentice.

"I'll be fine," Spiderpaw said, before he and Blizzardpaw hurried towards the two warriors.

Neither warrior said anything as they sprang out of camp; Spiderpaw and Blizzardpaw followed them, equally silent.

The forest seemed eerie in the dawn's dim light. Spiderpaw kept imagining rogues skulking about in the shadows, poised to leap out and attack. A dead leaf rustled behind him, and he nearly sprang out of his fur. He looked to Fireblaze, expecting at least a smirk of arrogance, but the ginger tabby wasn't even paying attention. For some reason, this bothered Spiderpaw, but he decided to keep his mouth shut.

Instead, he edged closer to Blizzardpaw as they walked together. "Can I ask you something?"

Blizzardpaw looked a little nervous, but he nodded. "Yeah, sure. What would you like to know?"

"Jaggedclaw said he would help train me...to teach me moves and stuff, when I'm not training with Petalcloud. But I need a sparring partner, because Jaggedclaw obviously can't fight. Would you be interested?"

Surprise flitted over Blizzardpaw's expression. "You want me to be your sparring partner?"

Spiderpaw's fur bristled. "Why are you so surprised? Do you think I'm not good enough to spar with you, or what? Because, if so, we can prove it right after this if you like."

"No, no, that's not it at all!" Blizzardpaw exclaimed. "I thought you were too good for me, actually. I mean, I'm not a bad fighter, but you're better. You've got a knack for it, most of the time, at least not when you're trying to throw your weight around. If you really think I'd be fast enough for you, I'd love to. Unfortunately, I think my paws will be full for most of today...how about right before the dusk patrol sets out? We can spar until nightfall. I'm sure Jaggedclaw would want to retire early; getting to the Moss Clearing would be a challenge for him."

Spiderpaw shrugged. "Fine by me."

"Can you guys be quiet?" Darkstorm asked; his voice was high-pitched, and his golden eyes were wide as they darted around the area. "Someone could sneak up on us and we wouldn't know it, with you two talking so loudly."

"Sorry," Blizzardpaw said, before giving Spiderpaw a small smile and hurrying to catch up to Darkstorm and Fireblaze. Spiderpaw glared at Darkstorm but the black tom didn't seem to notice.

They neared the PeakClan patrol, and Spiderpaw stiffened as he caught the scent of PeakClan cats. He looked to the warriors, wondering what Darkstorm thought they should do; there was a slight tremble in the black tom's legs, and Spiderpaw scowled.

"Odd that they're up so early," Fireblaze said. "Let's speak with them."

The ginger tabby raced forward towards the riverbank, giving the others no choice but to follow him; Spiderpaw dashed after the ginger tom, determined not to be outdone. He skidded down the bank towards the frozen mud, kicking up dead leaves as he went. On the other side of the river were several PeakClan cats obviously preparing to mark the border.

Spiderpaw squinted at them suspiciously; several looked vaguely familiar, but since he hadn't been to any Gatherings – at least, he wasn't supposed to have been to any – he didn't know most of them, at least not by name.

"Hello, AshClan," one of the warriors, a pretty pale she-cat, mewed. To her right was a golden male, whose fur was thick and well-groomed. Just behind them was a little tabby she-cat.

"Hello, Fawncloud," Darkstorm said, his voice tight and timid. "Hey, Goldenshine. And who's that behind you?" He looked nervous as he eyed the small apprentice; she smiled at him, her eyes glowing warmly.

"It's me, Birdpaw," she purred. "You probably don't recognize me because I don't say much at the Gatherings; usually I'm listening to the other apprentices gab."

"The medicine apprentice, right," Fireblaze nodded. "Northstar's daughter."

Birdpaw smiled again. "Yup. I came with the patrol to try and gather herbs to help the sick...speaking of, is the snowberry plant buried nearby? Blackmoon is very anxious to get some of the berries."

Fireblaze let out a low growl. "It's on our side of the territory right now, and you aren't coming over to get it. Silverstar hasn't given permission for Stonestar to take any of it."

"I was under the impression that it was a PeakClan cat who brought the snowberry plant back...our deputy, in fact," Goldenshine rumbled. "PeakClan did not surrender the herb to you. Our leaders are supposed to meet and discuss it."

"Until they do, it's ours." Fireblaze's was sharp, and a threat ran underneath his words. Spiderpaw wasn't paying attention to him, however; his eyes were focused on Goldenshine. There was something about the golden tom's voice that nagged at Spiderpaw's memory like a biting flea; he wanted very badly to scratch it, but try as he might the epiphany danced just out of his reach, fluttering over his head and mocking him like a wayward moth.

"We would never dream of taking it from you," Ferncloud mewed. "It's just that many of our Clanmates are very ill...we've had another death, too, a young warrior. We want to do what we can to save our Clanmates."

"Do you have any siblings?" Birdpaw asked, and Fireblaze's eyes darkened. "If you do, you know how it feels to watch them get hurt and to stand by helplessly, unable to do anything...my half-sister, Streampaw, is very sick. She needs these herbs. Please, will you give us at least one berry?"

Fireblaze's jaws ground against one another as he grappled with the decision; finally, he shook his head. "If your need is so great, have your leader come and see us. Otherwise, forget about it."

With that, he turned away from them, trotting down the riverbank. Goldenshine let out an enraged snarl, but the two she-cats said nothing, simply watching him go with sorrowful eyes. Darkstorm hastened to catch up to the tom who had been his apprentice without another look at the PeakClan cats.

Spiderpaw's fur ruffled with frustration; he wasn't fond of the PeakClan cats, but his conscience was nagging at him. _Fireblaze knows exactly what it's like to have a sibling get hurt...but he still won't help them, _Spiderpaw thought, eyes narrowing. _He's blinded by supposed loyalty to his Clan...he probably doesn't know that Silverstar isn't even taking the herbs for herself. Stonestar and Silverstar need to speak to one another, and quickly, before more cats die._

He moved to follow the two AshClan warriors, before stopping as he realized that Blizzardpaw hadn't moved; the white apprentice was staring at Birdpaw, his ears flat against his head.

"Come on," Spiderpaw growled. "Much as I hate it, Fireblaze and Darkstorm have seniority. If we try to help, we'll only be punished. I don't know about you, but I'd like to go to the next Gathering."

"How can you think about Gatherings while other cats are dying?" Blizzardpaw growled back. "PeakClan cats are suffering, but we're doing nothing to stop it..."

"There's nothing we can do right now. Silverstar will give them their berries when she and Stonestar meet. Tell him that." Spiderpaw said the last bit more loudly, aiming it at the PeakClan cats. "Silverstar is more than willing to share. They just need to figure it out for themselves."

"I'm sorry we can't do more to help," Blizzardpaw said, his ears still flat; Birdpaw gave him a small, sad smile.

"So am I," she said, before flicking her tail to the two warriors and heading in the opposite direction of the AshClan warriors. Blizzardpaw watched her go, before finally following Spiderpaw after Darkstorm and Fireblaze.

. . .

By the time they returned to camp, Robinpaw's mentor ceremony had already concluded, and the ginger apprentice had retreated to the nursery; Spiderpaw caught a glimpse of her in the entrance, and his ears flattened as he realized how unhappy she looked. Blizzardpaw went to grab something for them both to eat, and Spiderpaw watched as Fireblaze strode towards Eaglestrike to report the news of the patrol.

_He probably won't tell Eaglestrike what Birdpaw said, _Spiderpaw thought, _but I guess it won't make much of a difference. Eaglestrike already knows that Stonestar and Silverstar need to meet...or perhaps my father will meet with Stonestar alone. Silverstar is probably too sick to try and meet with the PeakClan leader herself. She could infect him, I suppose...it's lucky that my father hasn't gotten sick. He must have some immunity to the disease...like most of the cats from the old forest. They seem to have more of a resistance to it, at least...it killed Silverstar once, but more slowly than it has the PeakClan cats, if several of them have already died._

He looked to Jaggedclaw's den, feeling slightly heartened as he saw the scarred tabby eating something – a mouse or a vole, he couldn't quite tell. _He must have gotten it himself; I can't see Redpaw bringing it to him. He really is improving._

Spiderpaw trotted towards the elders den, sitting down in front of it. Jaggedclaw glanced up from his meal – a water vole – and blinked at him slowly. "What?"

"Nothing," Spiderpaw said. "I think I found someone I can spar with. Blizzardpaw said he could do it later today, before the dusk patrol. It won't be a long session, but it should be long enough for a quick warm-up, a way for me to get used to his fighting style and decide whether or not he will really be a good partner."

Jaggedclaw's gaze was carefully guarded. "I'm not sure I can make it all the way to the Moss Clearing."

Spiderpaw smiled. "I'm sure you can. It's not that far. I almost made it there as a kit, and I had no idea where I was going. You can make it; we can leave a little earlier so you have time to rest if you need to."

Jaggedclaw exhaled through his nose. "Whatever. Do you want some of this?" He pushed the remains of the water vole towards Spiderpaw, and the black apprentice dug into it eagerly. When he finished, he licked his muzzle clean of scraps, before squinting at Jaggedclaw.

"You don't sound too happy that I found someone to spar with. What's the matter? You're not having second thoughts, are you?" He struggled to keep the anxious tone out of his voice; he didn't want the older warrior to pity him like he was still a pathetic kit.

"No, I'm not having second thoughts about anything."

Spiderpaw waited for more, but Jaggedclaw, was not forthcoming; Spiderpaw frowned, feeling slightly irritated. "Well, you're obviously not happy. Spit it out. What's the matter?"

Jaggedclaw let out another loud exhale. "A Clanmate of ours died. Shouldn't I be sad about that?"

"Yeah, but that's not it," Spiderpaw meowed with confidence.

Jaggedclaw's eyes slid to the same entrance. "Perhaps not."

Spiderpaw shifted from paw to paw uneasily, becoming fed up with Jaggedclaw's skirting around the subject. "Come on, what's the matter?" He prodded Jaggedclaw's good shoulder with one paw, but was barely able to even budge the scarred elder.

Jaggedclaw fixed him firmly with his single eye, but Spiderpaw didn't shrink back. "I just had a dream, that's all."

"About Reedrush?"

Jaggedclaw's ears flattened. "Am I so transparent?"

Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched. "Not to everyone. Just me."

"Very comforting," Jaggedclaw grunted, the slightest shadow of a smile curling the edge of his mouth. "It wasn't really anything. It was only a dream."

"What was it about?" he pressed. Jaggedclaw shifted uncomfortably, and Spiderpaw grinned, sensing weakness. "Come on, what was it about? Surely it couldn't be anything too bad. What, did she beat you in a fight or something?"

"No. We were just hunting together...not here, though, in Twolegplace. She caught something, I didn't...I've never been a good hunter. And then some rogues appeared to try and make trouble. We stopped them together...I was uninjured, you see. The blood pumping through my veins, the wild feel of battle...it was exhilarating. And then once we had dispatched them, Reedrush turned to me, and she..." Jaggedclaw trailed off and shifted his weight again; Spiderpaw's grin widened as he realized that the scarred tabby was actually squirming with discomfort.

"Licked your muzzle, right?" he guessed. Jaggedclaw's eye widened with surprise; he tried to mask it, but it was too late. Spiderpaw laughed. "She did, didn't she? And what happened after that, huh?"

Jaggedclaw's eye darkened abruptly. "I woke up." He rested his head on his paws, his previous discomfort replaced by a strange sadness.

Spiderpaw's ears flattened. "I didn't mean-"

"I know. You didn't say anything wrong. It was just difficult, to dream of being whole and well with Reedrush by my side, and then to wake up to this..."

Spiderpaw felt a prickle of exasperation. "Why didn't you just _tell _her how you felt when she was still here, instead of getting mad at her?"

Jaggedclaw's mood suddenly changed again, rage entering his amber eye. "Don't you think I regret that?" he snarled. "If I could go back and make her stay, I would! If I could return to the past and stop myself from chasing after Destiny, I would have!"

Spiderpaw shrank back, but he was not frightened; the raw agony and anger in Jaggedclaw's gaze crackled like flames over Spiderpaw's pelt, but he knew that it wasn't him that Jaggedclaw was furious with, but rather himself.

"The accident wasn't your fault. You were just trying to protect your Clan," Spiderpaw said; he started to continue and say something more about Reedrush, but decided against it as Jaggedclaw stared down at his unsheathed claws.

"Come on," Jaggedclaw said, surprising Spiderpaw as he heaved himself stiffly to his paws; Spiderpaw hesitated before standing as well.

"Where are we going?"

"To spar."

Spiderpaw looked towards the sky, blinking with amazement as he realized the sun was already beginning to sink towards the horizon; they had been speaking for much longer than he had originally thought.

He looked to Jaggedclaw, wondering if he should say anything further; the tom was obviously trying to avoid further discussion of Reedrush.

_Better not press him, _he decided. _We can talk more tomorrow. I want to start training._

He looked for Blizzardpaw and found that the white apprentice was standing in the entrance to the nursery, watching them keenly. Spiderpaw gave him a nod, and Blizzardpaw trotted towards them. Jaggedclaw ignored him, limping towards the camp entrance, halting in front of the two logs that blocked the path into the forest. Spiderpaw hurried forward, thinking that Jaggedclaw might need help leaping into the small hollow between the two logs, only to blink as Jaggedclaw dug his claws into the lower log and pulled himself through the narrow gap. The two apprentices quickly followed.

Jaggedclaw headed for the Moss Clearing as quickly as he could, obviously burning off anger through his fast pace; Blizzardpaw's blue eyes mirrored Spiderpaw's own concern as he watched Jaggedclaw tear through the brush without any regard for the brambles tearing his fur or the slick stones under his paws.

"What's up with him?" Blizzardpaw whispered, but Spiderpaw didn't answer, following Jaggedclaw like a dark shadow.

Jaggedclaw's breath was ragged as the small group entered the Moss Clearing; Blizzardpaw pointed to his tail to show Jaggedclaw where the softest moss was. Jaggedclaw collapsed on the green, springy carpet of vegetation with a quiet sigh. Blizzardpaw and Spiderpaw exchanged uncertain glances, before the black tom asked,

"What do you want us to do?"

Jaggedclaw was panting; at Spiderpaw's question he rasped his tongue over his muzzle, saying nothing. The two apprentice allowed him to catch his breath, and he finally answered,

"Just spar as you normally would. I need to get an idea of how you generally fight, Spiderpaw; I'm sure your style has changed at least a little since you last came to me for advice." Jaggedclaw's eye glittered, and Spiderpaw flushed as he realized Jaggedclaw was probably talking about when Spiderpaw had lost to Leopardpaw by taking the first move.

"Fine by me," Blizzardpaw mewed. "Normal rules, I guess?"

Jaggedclaw shook his head. "The rogues won't hold back, and neither should you. Use your claws and your teeth if you need to. Try not to injure each other too severely, but other than that anything goes."

Blizzardpaw looked uncomfortable, but it was all Spiderpaw could do not to let out a purr; he had been longing for an opportunity to let go and push himself beyond his boundaries.

"Start when you're ready," Jaggedclaw said with a yawn, resting his muzzle on his large paws.

Spiderpaw and Blizzardpaw faced one another; Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed as he sized the white tom up. Blizzardpaw began moving to the right, attempting to circle Spiderpaw; the black apprentice followed his movements, keeping several tail-lengths between them.

_He's smart enough not to want to make the first move, _Spiderpaw thought, _but hesitant, too. He thinks I'm a good fighter...which I guess is true against some cats, but not ones like Fireblaze and Leopardpaw...maybe I can spook him._

Spiderpaw lunged forward, intending to land in front of Blizzardpaw rather than on top of him; the white tom sprang backwards, his snow-white fur ruffling around his shoulders. Blizzardpaw watched him, suspicion in his eyes, but Spiderpaw only smiled and sprang back to where he had been, creating more distance between them.

Blizzardpaw began circling again, but this time Spiderpaw didn't move, keeping his green eyes locked on him; as Blizzardpaw grew nearer and Spiderpaw still refused to move, the white tom stopped, looking puzzled and unnerved.

_He lacks confidence against me. Good._

Spiderpaw sprang forward again, this time wanting to hit Blizzardpaw; the white tom avoided his grasp by ducking to the right, but Spiderpaw only missed him by inches. Spiderpaw landed nimbly on his feet, letting out a low hiss. Blizzardpaw's ears flattened, but he hissed back, fur bristling.

"Nearly had you, Blizzardpaw. You've got to be faster than that," Spiderpaw growled.

"I'm just warming up."

"So am I." Spiderpaw lunged again, and feinted to the left this time after noticing how Blizzardpaw had headed right; the white tom did so again but Spiderpaw was ready for him as he changed directions. Spiderpaw tackled him to the ground, but because of the white tom's larger size only held him for a brief moment before Blizzardpaw kicked him away. Spiderpaw managed to regain his footing, but his stomach was paining him.

_He didn't use his claws, though. He's reluctant to do so...he's not used to fighting Clanmates with everything he has. He's holding back. I've got to push him._

"Quit running away from me like a kit!" he spat. "Defend yourself!"

Blizzardpaw appeared to be taken aback by Spiderpaw's words, and the black apprentice realized that the white tom probably had never had a hostile sparring partner before. Blizzardpaw always kept a level head and was always calm; most cats liked him. Even Redpaw and Fireblaze had no quarrel with him.

Blizzardpaw's eyes narrowed with determination hurled himself forward, paws outstretched. Spiderpaw sprang to the side, dodgng the blow, before leaping onto Blizzardpaw's back as the white tom landed. He sank his teeth into Blizzardpaw's shoulder, and the white twisted underneath of him with a yowl of pain.

Spiderpaw's conscience fluttered for a moment. Blizzardpaw was a Clanmate, and one that Spiderpaw respected, if not liked. It felt wrong to attack him, wrong to taste his blood, but at the same time Spiderpaw knew that a tough battle would be the only way for either of them to improve.

Blizzardpaw reared up on his hind legs, the only real counter for having a cat on his back, but Spiderpaw was unafraid; Blizzardpaw was larger than him, but not as much as Leopardpaw or Fireblaze. He couldn't deliver the same amount of force as they could.

As Blizzardpaw crashed down, Spiderpaw unsheathed his claws, allowing the white tom's own weight to impale him. Blizzardpaw yowled again and rolled over onto his side, jerking Spiderpaw's claws through his fur and flesh as he went, scoring long marks down his back.

Spiderpaw couldn't scramble on his paws in time to avoid Blizzardpaw's counterattack; he grunted as Blizzardpaw battered his stomach with his paws, only to hiss in exasperation as he realized that the white tom still wasn't using his claws. Spiderpaw sunk his claws into Blizzardpaw's paws.

"You've got to give me everything you've got, or this is worthless!" he snarled. "I'm just wasting my time!"

Blizzardpaw stared down at him for a moment, before flicking his gaze to the sky. He pulled back, and Spiderpaw rose to his paws, still bristling.

"It's nightfall," the white tom said, his voice quiet. He didn't meet Spiderpaw's eyes, instead turning to look over his shoulder at Jaggedclaw.

"I'm not finished yet!" Spiderpaw spat, advancing. Blizzardpaw took a step back, still not looking into Spiderpaw's face.

"I've got to be on the dawn patrol tomorrow. I need to have Shimmerfrost look at my scratches, and then I'm going to bed," he said, his voice even and calm. Spiderpaw crouched, preparing to spring, when Jaggedclaw growled,

"We're finished for the day."

Blizzardpaw dipped his head to the older tabby politely, before heading back to camp; Spiderpaw twisted his head to watch the white tom disappear into the darkness, his black fur still ruffled.

"Useless!" he seethed. "That didn't help you or me at all. You couldn't see what it was like for either of us to really fight if he was holding back!"

"Come here." Jaggedclaw's voice was soft, but firm, and Spiderpaw realized that the older tabby had not yet stood up. Spiderpaw wondered if he needed help rising to his feet as he padded to his side and looked down at him.

"Sit," Jaggedclaw ordered. Spiderpaw did so, feeling puzzled as well as still angry from Blizzardpaw's failure to give the battle his all.

"What?" he asked, but for a long time Jaggedclaw said nothing; his scarred muzzle rested on his paws once more and he stared ahead of himself although Spiderpaw wasn't sure he was really seeing the green moss or dark forest at all.

"Blizzardpaw does not have an easy time attacking his own Clanmates," Jaggedclaw said finally after several minutes of silence.

"Yeah. Obviously. But he's just going to have to put that behind him, because-"

"One might argue that it's a good trait, not to be able to turn on your Clanmates. He's a loyal cat."

"Yeah, but he's not helping anyone if he can't do what's necessary! What if one of our Clanmates was a traitor, and Blizzardpaw was in the position to stop her from doing something terrible?" Spiderpaw's voice was louder and angrier than he had intended.

"Her? Do you actually suspect someone of being a traitor?"

Spiderpaw's ears flattened as he realized his mistake. "No. Him or her, does it really make a difference? It was just an idea, and it's a valid point."

"Perhaps Blizzardpaw wouldn't fight her, but instead capture her," Jaggedclaw said. "Or alert the others to her presence while he kept her at bay. Brute force isn't going to solve all your problems."

Spiderpaw glared at him. "StarClan, I thought you wouldn't be lecturing me all the time like Petalcloud! I thought we'd actually be _training, _not making excuses for Blizzardpaw."

Jaggedclaw's eye narrowed. "Fine. Let's go." He rose stiffly to his paws and began limping towards the moss clearing. "If you aren't going to listen, I don't see the point of us coming here."

Spiderpaw stared after him. "What? Of course there's still a point! I need to learn new moves so Petalcloud can teach me the techniques! That's why I need you in the first place!"

"Knowing all the moves in the world won't save you from some enemies," the older tabby replied, and Spiderpaw's ears flattened as he realized that Jaggedclaw was talking about his accident.

"Knowing all the moves and being strong-"

"Still won't save you!" Jaggedclaw turned with a snarl. "_That _is what you need to get through your head! You want to be large, strong, and powerful. You want to be able to beat any cat with the flick of your paw. You want to be like me. But my strength didn't save me, nor did my power, nor did my fighting prowess. All it took was a split second for me to be reduced to this: a shell, a worthless burden. Even if I was the strongest cat in the world, I could never face a monster. Being strong and thick-headed and arrogant is what crippled me, Spiderpaw. I raced after Destiny bent on vengeance, and in return I lost the ability to fight. Fighting was all I had. Now I am nothing." His tail was lashing from side to side and his single amber eye burned with anger and pain. "You have more than I do, Spiderpaw, more than I ever did; with your intelligence you could be useful to the Clan even if you were crippled. With your analysis, you could take down any foe that crosses your path, but you squander that talent! Instead of using your intellect to face your problems you throw yourself carelessly at your enemies. If you truly gave the battle everything you had, if you used your mind and speed to your full potential, there would be no cat that could beat you! But you act like a fool, and instead you race after the idea of physical strength. That is something you will never have, Spiderpaw, and it's time you faced it. It's time you acted like a warrior, instead of a kit!"

Spiderpaw took a step back, feeling both frightened and awed by Jaggedclaw's anger. Jaggedclaw looked away from him, and limped out of the clearing without another word. Spiderpaw started to follow, then stopped, sitting down and bowing his head.

Jaggedclaw's words battered his ears like the claws of a badger, and he flinched as he recalled the rage in the amber depths of Jaggedclaw's single, burning eye. He flinched as the older tom's harshest words bounced around in his mind like thrown stones.

_I'm not acting like a kit...I'm trying to act like a warrior. I'm trying to be strong, like my father!_

He stared down at his black paws, lifting his right slowly to observe its gentle sheen in the moonlight. It suddenly seemed very small to him, thin and spider-like, and he let out a hiss.

_Fireblaze's paws were always huge when he was young...and so were Thistlethorn's. They grew up to be big and strong, but me...my paws are tiny. Jaggedclaw's right, I'm never going to be as big as they are..._

His ears flattened and he bowed his head once more, jaws clenched. He tried to steady himself with a deep breath and thought of the Thunderpath, thinking that perhaps if he reconstructed the accident in his mind as he had done with the rogues at GreenRocks it might help calm him, but the thought of Jaggedclaw being crushed by a monster was too painful for him to imagine.

He glanced towards the edge of the Moss Clearing, where Jaggedclaw had left, seeing nothing but yawning darkness before him. Finally, feeling almost forlorn, he began following the scarred tom's scent back to camp.

It wasn't until he was curled up in his nest trying to lure his mind into sleep that he realized something that Jaggedclaw said had been strange.

_Chasing after Destiny? _He wondered, feeling groggy. _He said that twice...it can't be a coincidence. But what was he talking about? Jaggedclaw doesn't believe in that sort of thing..._He wanted to ponder it further, but the ink-black grasp of weariness pulled him down, dragging him deeper and deeper into slumber.

**AN: "It felt as though he had been sleeping for a moon," haha. **

**Anyway, November's over so here I am again, my ducklings! I'll prolly still be working on Abrazame, for those of you keeping tabs on that, but my focus will once again return to Chilled. I expect to see lots of reviews professing your love for me and the joy of seeing me again (not really, although that would be nice xD).**

**Also, if you haven't already read the newest one-shot (Subservient), check it out. It's about our dear Swiftshade. At this rate, I might write a one-shot about all of the Seven Sinners, wouldn't that be lovely?**

**Also-also, Goldenshine is a terrible name. For shame, PeakClan, for shame. He sounds like a girl, poor guy. :c**

**Also-also-also, sorry this is late! It was supposed to be finished by the first, but stuff got in the way...I'll touch on it in my blog. If you've forgotten, the link to the blog is on my profile!**


	31. C h a p t e r 30

**C _h a p t e r _30**

_She blinked into the mist uncertainly, wanting to stride into its ethereal depths but feeling too intimidated by the possibility of becoming lost forever. She hadn't forgotten Chillpaw's warning, and a thrill of fear ran down her spine at the thought of being trapped in the cold, clinging mist._

"_Moonpaw?" she called again, her voice soft an anxious, almost a whisper; she wasn't quite sure why she was being so quiet, only that something was very wrong._

"_Sootpaw!"_

_She turned as she heard Moonpaws's exclamation, feeling relieved as the black apprentice hopped towards her. Moonpaw's blue eyes gleamed as bright as the white marking on her chest, but Sootpaw's ears flattened; something wasn't quite right._

"_Is Chillpaw waiting for me?" she asked. Moonpaw's ears flattened as well, but quickly pricked again as she smiled._

"_Don't worry about that furball tonight! You need your rest. Come with me and have a good time!"_

"_I don't need to _rest_, I've been resting all day," Sootpaw complained. "It started raining around sunhigh, just as we were getting close to Adder's territory. The warriors all agreed that we shouldn't go much further in case we were ambushed, and they also didn't want Rook or Nightingale to get sick because of their thick fur...if they get wet, they stay wet for hours. We hunkered down in a little den underneath a holly bush. You know that!"_

_Moonpaw's gaze slid away from Sootpaw's as she flicked her black tail. "Still, some fun would do you good, don't you think?"_

"_What I think is that I need to be talking to Chillpaw and the others," Sootpaw mewed. "I wasted too much time already being nervous and hiding from them. I've got to go." She turned towards the mist, only to have Moonpaw run out in front of her._

"_You can't!" Moonpaw exclaimed. "Come on, just come with me!" She began pushing Sootpaw with her shoulder. Sootpaw moved away, feeling puzzled and unnerved._

"_What's gotten into you? You know how important this is. You're the one who told me I should help them," she said with a frown. Then, she blinked as something occurred to her. "Are they in trouble?"_

_Moonpaw's guilty eyes told Sootpaw all she needed to know. She lunged forward, only to find Moonpaw in front of her once more._

"_Out of my way, Moonpaw! I've got to help them!" Sootpaw exclaimed as she tried to dodge to the side. Moonpaw copied her, blocking her path._

"_You can't, you'll just get hurt. They're depending on you, and they'd want me to keep you safe!" Moonpaw insisted. "Come on back with me. We can forget all about it, okay?"_

_Sootpaw stared at her. "I can't just _forget _about it, Moonpaw! What if they're losing the battle? What if one of them dies? They said before that it would be hard enough with only seven cats instead of nine. It might not even be possible with only six!"_

_Moonpaw's ears flattened. "I've been told that I can't let you go. Chillpaw said that you could only come when he signaled that it would be safe. Please, Sootpaw, don't make this any harder on me. You aren't that good a fighter anyway, what could you do against evil Dark Forest warriors?"_

_Sootpaw flinched, but had to admit that Moonpaw was right; she was a terrible fighter since she hadn't received any lessons on the subject._

I would only get in the way, _she thought, feeling even more anxious than before. _They'd have to protect me instead of the other way around...

"_Come on," Moonpaw mewed, her voice hopeful. "Let's go to one of the dreams I made earlier. As soon as Chillpaw says anything, I'll let you know."_

_Sootpaw shook her head. "No. We're going to stay right here. As soon as Chillpaw sends you anything, we're going to find him, okay?"_

_Moonpaw still looked uneasy, but she nodded. "Okay."_

_They sat together in silence, watching the shimmering mist, waiting anxiously for a message from the white tom._

. . .

A paw prodded her side. Sootpaw squirmed uncomfortably, fighting to stay asleep, but it was no use. The paw poked her again, and she opened her eyes to find Rook scowling down at her.

"You all sleep like stones," he grunted. "Get up offa your tail. We've got places teh be."

"Is it already morning?" she mumbled, rubbing one eye sleepily with her paw.

"Dawn," he answered. "The others are already movin'. I think one of 'em – the silver one – said we should leave right quick."

"Is it still raining?"

"Use your ears." Sootpaw winced as Swanpaw's familiar sneering voice battered her. "Do you _hear _rain?"

"She just woke up, be nice," Bluepaw mewed, her voice still thick with sleep. "Besides, the Thunderpath kinda drowns everything out."

Sootpaw shot the blue-gray apprentice a grateful smile, and received a bleary blink in return. She stretched, taking her sweet time to work out the kink in her tail – she had been sleeping with it tucked underneath one of her legs – as well as the little aches and pains in her joints.

_I'm much too young for this, _she thought, vaguely amused as one of her shoulders popped. _I guess sleeping out in the cold the last few days hasn't helped..._For a moment she reflected longingly upon her nights spent with her brother on one side and friends on the other; it wasn't until Swanpaw let out an irritated growl that she shook herself and padded outside of the den.

The surrounding area was shrouded by thick mist, making it difficult to see. The sun shone through hazily, casting a golden halo all around them; it was pretty, but Sootpaw had seen the same scene several times before. It wasn't until she trotted towards the edge of the cliff that ran alongside the Thunderpath that her breath was taken away.

The mist seemed to hover over the Thunderpath like a beautiful silver cloud, struck through with streaks of gold by the slowly rising sun. Monsters raced through the mist, parting it for brief instances with their brilliant eyes before it moved to reclaim the scene. On the opposite side of the road, she could see more trees, their spindly branches embracing the mist like old friends.

"It's beautiful," she whispered, and it was only then that she realized Sage had come to stand beside her.

He tilted his head to one side. "I've seen more impressive views from the mountains...but it's nice."

"We see stuff like this from the top of the Peak all the time," Swanpaw added on Sage's other side, glancing towards him as if hoping that he would be impressed. "AshClan cats don't get to see these sorts of views because they're stuck on the ground in their burnt forest."

"There's nothing wrong with the forest," Sage said. "It probably has more prey than your territory, right? It's thanks to the forest that my family is still alive. Leaf-bare is a harsh time, and views won't fill your belly."

Swanpaw's ears flattened, and the she-cat looked almost abashed, but said nothing.

Sootpaw continued to watch the swirling mist, almost hypnotized. She let out a quiet sigh and then froze as she thought she caught a glimpse of Chillpaw's blue eyes in the fog. She shook her head, and when she opened her eyes again the apparition was gone. Her stomach grumbled with anxiety, not for her own sanity – she was just tired and stressed – but for Chillpaw's safety.

_I guess I should be glad that I wasn't there when whatever happened started up, but...I kind of wish that I was just to make sure they're all safe...I don't want everything they've done to be for nothing._

"Come on!" Thistlethorn's voice was sharp, and the apprentices turned to find him glaring at them. "Mist or no mist, we can't waste any more time. We've got places to be, battles to win. Understand?"

Sootpaw hurried towards him, flanked by Sage and Swanpaw. "Are we really leaving now? What if we're ambushed?"

"I have concerns about this as well, but we don't have many other choices," Rainwind meowed, rising to his paws from underneath the bush. "We've wasted a lot of time already, and cats are depending on us. We've got no choice but to continue on."

Sootpaw looked to Reedrush, who was stretching. The silver she-cat didn't say anything, but she turned her head to look in the direction of where they were heading.

Sootpaw's stomach rumbled, but she decided not to mention her hunger; the warriors were obviously in a rush and they had a point. The journey was already taking a great deal of time, and she didn't want to slow it down any further than she already had.

_But I'm not sure I'm ready for battle, _she thought, and felt butterflies flutter in her stomach as she imagined facing down dozens of hostile rogues. _Hopefully it won't come to that. I know the warriors won't make the apprentices fight unless there's no other choice, but..._

"Come on, let's go!" Rabbitleap chirped brightly, dashing forward. Sootpaw's stomach clenched as the white-and-gray she-cat walked dangerously close to the edge of the cliff.

The others followed her without hesitation. Sootpaw noticed that Rook and Nightingale had both fallen to the back of the group, but that was to be expected with Rook's sore leg.

Sootpaw looked for Bluepaw, only to see her and Sage having what appeared to be quite a lively chat; Bluepaw was grinning with all of her usual charm, and Sage was nodding with his own calm seriousness. Sootpaw's ears flattened and she quickly looked away, not wanting to disturb either of them; the two cats both walked with starry ancestors, and they both had much more in common with each other than Sootpaw. It was possible that they were talking about the spiritual rather than the secular, and while she was curious she decided it wasn't a good idea to pry.

_Besides, Sage is a little more...keen than Bluepaw. He'll know pretty quickly that something is up if I'm hovering around and asking questions..._

She glanced down towards the Thunderpath. The mist was already beginning to clear underneath the warmth of the sun's rays, which made her feel both sad and relieved. It was a pity that the beautiful sight had to go, but at the same time she hoped the absence of the mist would take Chillpaw off of her mind.

_Anything could have happened...what if Chillpaw's hurt? Or dead? He's the only one that can talk to us...if something serious has happened to the group and Chillpaw isn't able to tell us..._

A gentle tail touching her flank startled her; she nearly leaped out of her fur before realizing that it was only Rainwind. The tabby tom blinked down at her with gentle, calm eyes.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "You're looking a bit nervous. Afraid of the coming battle?"

She didn't want to admit weakness, but his explanation was better than any that she could have come up with. "Yeah, I guess so. I've never been in a real battle before...back home, I didn't have a mentor, so I never had any real lessons about fighting..."

"Hopefully you won't need to, not today," Rainwind meowed. "We'll try to avoid fighting if we can...and if we can't, we'll try our hardest to leave you apprentices out of it. I was nervous from the beginning about bringing so many young, untrained cats with us, especially since our Clans are not all that friendly with one another...no offense."

Sootpaw nodded with understanding. "None taken. I know Stonestar probably felt uneasy sending Brackenpaw and Swanpaw here with us...but I guess no one had a choice, not Stonestar or Silverstar. StarClan set down the rules, not the leaders."

He inclined his head. "True. Which also bothers me...the idea that StarClan would send cats so young is...troublesome. Pair that with the fact that only PeakClan received the prophecy..." He gave a small shake of his head.

Sootpaw's eyes widened at the implications of his words. "You don't think that the prophecy was false, do you?"

Rainwind blinked at her with surprise. "No, no! That's not what I meant at all. Truth be told, it makes me more concerned with _our _medicine cats. We haven't had the best history with them, I'm afraid...living alone with no other Clans to answer to has distorted our beliefs and customs, I'm afraid. Blackmoon is a good cat, and I know he means well, but I can't help but be a little anxious." He tilted his head slightly, and Sootpaw realized he was watching his apprentice, Brackenpaw. "Birdpaw is Brackenpaw's sister, and I know that she is also loyal and eager to become a medicine cat, but I'm not sure she knows what that truly means. Not yet, at least."

"She will by the end of all this," Sootpaw mewed. "To have seen so many cats die and to know that you could do nothing but try to ease their pain..." She trailed off, her thoughts flicking to the Dark Forest cats once more.

Rainwind's ear twitched. "Yes. I'm afraid the sister that Brackenpaw remembers might not be there when he gets home. He'll have changed too, of course." Rainwind glanced towards his apprentice again, and Sootpaw thought she saw a glimmer of pride in his eyes.

"I don't know him very well, but he seems like a good cat," Sootpaw said.

Rainwind let out a low purr. "Oh, he is. I've been favored by StarClan, to have had such wonderful apprentices. No one could ask for a better listener than Mousestep, or an eagerer learner than Brackenpaw. Believe me, I thank StarClan quite often that I'm not burdened by...others." His eyes lingered on Swanpaw for a moment, before snapping back to Sootpaw. "Ah, my apologies. I'd forgotten what I was planning on saying, but I remember now. You don't need to fear the coming battle, Sootpaw. You won't have to fight unless absolutely necessary, and when the time comes I believe you will act with nobility. You've shown remarkable courage thus far, as well as determination, to have followed us so far and to have joined us on such a dangerous mission."

Sootpaw flushed underneath her fur, more humbled than honored by Rainwind's praise. She decided that she liked him; he kept a cool head and was gentle, even with cats who were not his Clanmates. What's more, he at least attempted to keep the peace between the two Clans, which was more than could be said for other members of the group.

"If it comes down to a battle, then I'll do what I can, but I really hope I can just stay out of everyone's way," she meowed. "I'm sure I'd be more trouble than help."

Rainwind flicked his tail against her shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm certain that StarClan is watching down on us and protecting us; in our paws rests the fate of the Clans, after all. Hopefully Adder can be reasoned with. Either way, I don't want you to worry. I'm sure you'll be fine. I'll do my best to keep an eye on the apprentices if it comes to a fight, okay?"

Sootpaw smiled up at him, feeling relieved. She nodded, and Rainwind smiled back before breaking into a gentle lope to catch up with his apprentice.

_That does make me feel better, _she admitted. _So long as at least one warrior is working to protect us if there is a fight, we should all be okay..._She bit her lip as she thought of her dream. _I don't know if any of us will die...we've got Rook on our side, who I think is supposed to be like Smoke...and he did warn us about Adder and everything...but at the same time, thus far things have been slightly different between my dreams and reality. There are only two Clans on the journey, not four, and the leaders both approve of it. We're allowed to come back if we fail. Swanpaw didn't drown. And Smoke isn't one cat, but two...There's no telling how different the battle will be from what happened in my dreams._

She tilted her head towards the sky, as if looking for guidance; the sky was still mostly dark, but was touched with bright colors near the horizon as the sun continued to rise. The glowing orb streaked the sky with orange, pink, and even hints of purple; it was beautiful, but so was every other sunrise Sootpaw had ever seen.

_It would be prettier if I was home, _she thought, her eyes searching the sky for the last lingering stars. A few clouds dotted the sky, still slightly gray from the darkness of night. She found herself wishing that there were more clouds, dark gray and heavy with snow; she had never seen snow before, but had heard from the other warriors that snow falling from the heavens was a truly beautiful sight.

It wasn't until someone snorted that she realized she had whispered her wish out loud. She blinked with surprise as she realized that she had fallen to the back of the group when she had been lost in her thoughts; Rook and Nightingale were watching her now. Rook was looking scornful, or as scornful as any limping ex-kittypet could.

"Snow would only slow us down, an' make us all soggy," he growled. "It would hide the prey and Adder's cats. How could snow possibly be a good thing right about now?"

"I just...thought it would be pretty," Sootpaw mumbled, feeling foolish. Rook snorted again.

"Yer a feather-brain, ain't you?" he asked with a roll of his eyes. "You cats make fun of me an' Nightingale for our roots, but you all aren't no better. Yer a bunch of idiots, wanderin' around territory that ain't yours and pokin' yer nose where you shouldn't. Buncha fools, if you ask me."

Her ears flattened. "I never said anything about yer – I mean, your heritage."

He rolled his bright green eyes. "You dint have to. The contempt is as plain as day in yer eyes. All of you look at us like we're trash. Well, we're not!" He bared his fangs at her.

She cocked her head to one side, listening to the curious sound of his voice as she remembered how his thick accent had given way to a more silvery tone before. She wasn't completely sure if he was doing it on purpose or not, or whether he knew how silly he had sounded there for a moment when his accent had changed, the polished tone contrasting sharply with his rough growl.

_Is he pretending to be something he's not? _She wondered. _If he talked fancy all the time, perhaps we would take him seriously more often...I mean, with that accent and vulgar phrases he uses no one wants to listen to him. If his voice was so...silvery all the time, he'd be more tolerable._

She considered mentioning it, but decided against it; Rook seemed to be a very angry individual, and she had no desire to invite more of his reckless anger onto herself.

"Have you ever seen snow?" she asked.

Rook's eyes narrowed, but Nightingale nodded; she nudged his shoulder and he shot her an irritated glance.

"Yeah, we did. A few nights after the fire it snowed. Wasn't nothin', though, just a few paltry flakes...nothin' to get excited about." He scowled. "Snow was the last thing we needed anyhow."

Nightingale's blue eyes were bright, and Sootpaw guessed that the white she-cat had enjoyed it much more than her darker companion. "Was it as pretty as they say?"

Nightingale's eyes grew misty for a moment. She nodded, the movement deliberate and slow as if she wanted to emphasize the action, to show how much she had truly enjoyed the snow. Sootpaw smiled, relieved that she and the mute she-cat had some shared ground, at least.

"That was the only time it snowed, though, so I wouldn't worry your fool head about it," Rook said. "It prolly won't snow this year at all. Too warm."

Sootpaw shivered, her breath pluming in front of her face. "Feels pretty cold to me."

"Ain't nothing," Rook retorted. "Last year was colder. Last year it was so cold that our whiskers froze to our faces, dint they?" He glanced at Nightingale. She nodded, but seemed amused, and Sootpaw guessed that Rook was exaggerating.

"Yep, froze right to our faces," Rook repeated, his voice slightly warmer; he was obviously a cat that enjoyed bragging. "An' the prey we managed ter catch was frozen solid. Solid as a rock. We had to warm everythin' up with our bodies before we could eat it. Pain in the tail, that business was. Waking up was terrible, too. My body was so stiff it felt like my limbs were made o' stone too..."

Sootpaw's whiskers twitched. "Clan cats sleep outside too, you know. We have dens, but it's not much different."

"Not much different?" Rook looked indignant. "You try sleepin' out in the open air and see how you like it! You won't like it at all, I ken tell you that. Flickin' awful, it was. All we had were a few scraps o' cloth, but other than that we was on our own. Had to sleep on the cold streets...flickin' terrible."

Sootpaw looked to Nightingale; the amusement had vanished from the white she-cat's blue eyes, and Sootpaw felt a twinge of sympathy. The two ex-kittypets had obviously had hard lives after the fire.

"At least you don't have to worry about that now," she meowed. "The Clans will be more than happy to help you all out. You can stay with us."

"Like we want to stick with a bunch of cats with their brains stuck up in-"

Nightingale silenced Rook with a nip before he finished his sentence. The blow probably wasn't strong enough to get through Rook's incredibly thick fur, but he glowered at her anyway.

"It's not that bad, really," Sootpaw said. "We aren't as dumb as you think. Besides, I don't see any Clan cats with an injured leg."

Rook's ears flattened, and he glared at her. "That was just a spot o' bad luck is all. Bad luck ain't my fault."

"But jumping on a limb that was obviously too small for you was," Sootpaw purred with amusement. "You've got no one but yourself to blame for that."

Rook opened his mouth for another sharp retort, only to have Nightingale nip him again. He turned to face her, his black-brown fur bristling, only to freeze as he saw the look in her eyes; she wasn't facing him, but was staring at the front of the group. Puzzled, Sootpaw looked towards Reedrush and Thistlethorn. Ice settled in her heart.

Shadowy figures stood before them; traces of mist clung to their pelts, but their shapes became more distinct as they padded forwards. The tom in the lead had a dark, shadowy pelt, somewhere between black and brown. His eyes glinted yellow, and his muzzle was slightly twisted; some injury on the side of his face had pulled the edge of his mouth upwards so that he seemed to be continuously smiling a terrible, twisted smile.

"What do we have here?" he asked, his gaze flicking over them; his voice was low and gravely, much like Rook's. Sootpaw glanced towards the ex-kittypet; it was obvious where he had gotten his ideas of how a rogue should sound. "Trespassers, eh? With Rook and the lovely Nightingale to boot. How...pleasant."

The other side of the tom's muzzle curled up into a grin, but the look wasn't any less grotesque.

"You're Adder, I assume?" Rainwind took a step forward. Sootpaw couldn't help but admire how steady and calm his voice was in the face of so many cats. "This is your territory, is it not? The Adder's Fangs, or something to that nature?"

The dark tom dipped his head. "Yep. I trust Rook filled you in on that." His eyes narrowed. "Funny company you've picked up now, Rook. And yer limpin', too. What exactly happened to you, eh? I was thinkin' you had sworn to protect my territory..."

Anxiety flashed over Rook's face, but he took a step forward by himself, rather than leaning on Nightingale for support. "It's comp-ler-cated, Adder. All that matters is this group means no harm. They're just passin' though, if you'll let 'em. An'...an' Nightingale an' I are goin' with 'em."

Adder bared his fangs, his twisted muzzle making the sight even more terrifying. "'Fraid I can't allow that, Rook. You promised you'd guard my territory, an' I'm holdin' you to that promise. Understand? Now, come over here. Yer fightin' on our side today."

Rook hesitated, looking towards Nightshade.

Rainwind took another step forward. "Please, Adder. Rook was correct when he said that we mean you no harm. We're simply passing through. We're on a mission, you see...some of our Clanmates are ill and we're trying to find the herbs necessary to cure them. Please let us through."

Adder's gleamed with some strange emotion – excitement? - and he bared his fangs in another gruesome grin. "Yer motives don't matter ter me. What matters is that yer on my territory, and for that yer gonna die. Rook! Nightingale! Get over here. I'd hate for the two of you to get hurt."

Rook's ears flattened, and this time he looked to Sootpaw; she stared at him, uncertain as to what he was going to – or should – do. Then, slowly, he began moving forward. Nightingale trailed him like a white-and-brown shadow.

"I knew it!" Sootpaw heard Swanpaw spit, but she didn't take her eyes off of the two ex-kittypets.

_Something isn't right, _she thought as she watched Rook. His head was bowed, but there was a glitter in his green eyes that unnerved her. _From what I've seen just from talking to him, he is much too arrogant to just meekly accept Adder's orders..._

Rainwind was slowly edging back towards the group. His fur remained flat, but from the tension in his shoulders Sootpaw knew that he was preparing for battle. Sootpaw's eyes darted over Adder's cats; there were at least twice as many of them as they were Clan cats.

_Please, Rook, Nightingale...we need you! _She thought, staring at them.

Adder smirked. "There, you see? Not so hard. Now then..." He crouched, unsheathing his claws. "You all are about ter feel the punishment of crossin' my path. That punishment...is death!"

He sprang forward, tackling Rainwind to the ground. The gray tabby disappeared under the rogue's body as they grappled with one another. At the same moment, Rook threw himself towards one of the other rogues, knocking him over. Sootpaw's heart leaped as Nightingale joined in, leaping gracefully onto the back of a third rogue and ripping into him with her claws.

"Come on!" Thistlethorn roared, charging forward; Reedrush and Rabbitleap were on his heels. Brackenpaw and Swanpaw followed without hesitation, disappearing into the fray, leaving Bluepaw and Sootpaw blinking at one another.

Bluepaw's sapphire-blue eyes were wide as she stared at Sootpaw. "What do we d-" Her voice broke off in a yowl of pain as a rogue sank his teeth into her shoulder. Sootpaw let out an exclamation of horror as blood began oozing from the bite.

Without thinking, Sootpaw raced forward to her friend's aid, only to be blindsided by yet another rogue. She gasped as the breath was knocked out of her body. She wheezed for breath, thrashing weakly, but the rogue's grasp was too strong. Powerful jaws sank into her shoulder, then grabbed her around the neck; Sootpaw twisted at the last second so the cat's fangs dug into her scruff, saving her for the moment.

The cat let out a snarl, its breath hot against her ear; she nearly retched at the strench of crowfood and blood. She drew in a sharp breath, ignoring the pain as her lungs expanded, before twisting around to free herself from the cat's grasp. She kicked upwards with all her might, and her attacker let out a grunt of pain. To Sootpaw's surprise, the attacker was thrown to the side by the force of her kick, allowing the gray apprentice enough time to scramble to her paws.

_Guess I'm stronger than I thought, _she mused, but there was no time to mull it over; her enemy was already on its paws. It was a she, she was surprised to discover; it was a tortoiseshell with bright golden eyes.

"We don't have to fight!" Sootpaw exclaimed, but the tortoiseshell only snarled in reply before lunging forward. Sootpaw was too slow to dodge the strike, and she found herself on her back once more, staring up with wide eyes at her attacker. Sootpaw pulled to the left just as the tortoiseshell tried to snap at her throat. She yelped with pain as the tortoiseshell's fangs grazed the side of her neck, feeling warm blood beginning to seep through her fur. She tried to kick upwards once more, but the she-cat was ready for her, springing away with a parting slash.

Sootpaw rolled over, trying to regain her footing, only to yowl with pain as the tortoiseshell knocked her over. This time she landed on her stomach. The rogue's thorn-sharp claws dug into her flesh. The she-cat bit down again where she had before, tearing even deeper into Sootpaw's shoulder.

"Please, stop!" Sootpaw howled as pain lanced through her body. The rogue replied by releasing her shoulder and grabbing her ear instead, pulling backwards with all her might. Sootpaw's head was forced back – it was either that or she would lose the ear. Another yowl tore itself from her throat as more hot blood dripped down from her ear, matting the side of her face.

The tortoiseshell's weight shifted as she lifted one paw. Sootpaw saw the paw out of the corner of her eye as the tortoiseshell moved forward.

_She's pulling my head back with my ear so she can slash my throat! _Sootpaw realized with horror. She started to thrash, only to howl with agony as the movement jerked her ear in the she-cat's jaws.

"No use!" The rogue's stinking breath washed over her. "You're mine!"

The tortoiseshell shifted her weight again, attempting to pin down Sootpaw more securely to get a better chance of making a clean swipe across her throat. There was little that Sootpaw could do; she was trapped like a mouse between the rogue's claws.

"Please," she begged, more quietly this time. The tortoiseshell's claws sank into the fur around her neck, choking her. The rogue laughed, a terrible rasp that battered Sootpaw's ears like a barrage of claws.

"You're mine," the rogue hissed, savoring the sensation of having Sootpaw's life between her paws. "You shouldn't have strayed here, little kitten. Now you and your friends are all going to d-"

At first, Sootpaw was only aware of the blinding pain in her ear as her head snapped around as the tortoiseshell's body jerked. Then, as her ear was released her muzzle hit the dirt, more blood coursing down her face. It took her a moment to realize that the rogue's claws were no longer at her throat, that the tortoiseshell's weight was no longer on her face. There was a fierce snarl behind her.

Sootpaw twisted around as well as she could with the throbbing pain in her shoulder and ear; she gazed with wide eyes upon the scene before her.

Swanpaw's usually pristine white fur was streaked with blood. Bloodlust glittered in the apprentice's normally chilly blue eyes as she tore into the tortoiseshell. The rogue thrashed underneath of her, attempting to slash Swanpaw's belly, but Swanpaw was too fast. The ginger-and-white apprentice darted through the rogue's defenses with ease, clawing her before leaping back to avoid the counterstrike. Sootpaw watched with awe and fear as the tortoiseshell rogue was reduced to a quivering lump of fur.

The tortoiseshell's eyes were still burning defiantly even as Swanpaw went in for the kill. Dodging the rogue's flailing claws, Swanpaw sunk her fangs into the rogues' throat. The tortoiseshell thrashed once more, one claw landing a glancing blow against Swanpaw's foreleg, before going still.

"Swanpaw," Sootpaw breathed. Swanpaw glanced towards her, eyes narrowed and lip curled, before she sprang towards another rogue. Sootpaw quickly lost her in the fray.

She tried to rise to her paws, only for her injured shoulder to give out beneath her; her muzzle hit the ground again, caking churned-up dirt into her nose. She coughed, gagging on the smell of blood and rogue fur.

She turned her head but couldn't see any of her journey-mates in the turmoil of the battle; all she could see were flashing fangs, bloody claws, and matted fur. It was too much for her to make sense with, combined with the pain and fear that grasped her with its own sharp claws. She took in a shuddering breath as a tremor ran down her body.

"Sootpaw!"

She turned with relief towards Bluepaw's voice, feeling joy leap in her heart as she saw that Bluepaw was mostly uninjured, save for the bite on her shoulder and several scratches down one flank. The blue-gray apprentice ran towards her, looking her over anxiously.

"You look really bad," she said. "Come on, let's go over here away from the action."

"But I've got to help," Sootpaw protested, realizing how feeble she sounded as soon as the words left her mouth. Bluepaw's ears flattened, and she bent down to grab Sootpaw's scruff. Sootpaw let out a hiss as Bluepaw's teeth met where the tortoiseshell had grasped her earlier, but the medicine apprentice had no other choice.

Bluepaw dragged her away from the battle, moving her underneath one of the large trees. "I'll be back," Bluepaw promised, before bolting, disappearing into the forest. Sootpaw watched her go, feeling helpless; she wanted to get back into the fray, but knew she was of no use to anyone in her state.

_Even before I was injured, I was useless, _she thought, feeling her throat close up. _Worse than useless...I didn't see the rogue coming until it was too late, and Swanpaw – _Swanpaw, _of all cats! - had to save my tail..._

A sudden yowl rang over the battle; some cats stopped mid-strike to turn and stare at Thistlethorn. The blue-gray tom was covered in wounds, but his eyes glittered with triumph; from his jaws hung the bloodied body of Adder.

A ripple of fear and horror ran through the rogues. After only a moment's pause, they scattered, yowling their grief and confusion into the forest.

"No! To me! To me! Don't run, you cowards!" one rogue yowled, a burly tabby tom, but his protests were met only with the tails of fleeing rogues. The tabby tom turned to glare at Thistlethorn, his gaze as sharp as daggers, before he turned and disappeared into the forest.

Within moments, only the Clan cats were left standing. Sootpaw could barely make them out; she sucked in a sharp breath as Thistlethorn's legs collapsed from underneath him. Reedrush hurried to his side, bent over his form anxiously; Swanpaw and Brackenpaw rushed to her aid. Nightingale and Rook were huddled together off to the side, examining each other for injuries. Rabbitleap was standing a little ways from the others as well, looking slightly dazed.

It took a moment for Sootpaw to realize that Rainwind was missing.

**AN: "Flickin'," as Rook enjoys saying, is sort of his substitution for 'freaking' or 'flipping,' since neither of those make sense for kitties. 'No freaking/flipping way' becomes 'no flickin' way.' It basically stems from the fact that in the series cats often indicate displeasure with a flick of their tail or ears. **


	32. C h a p t e r  31

**C _h a p t e r _31**

He tapped his tail against the soft, spongy moss, feeling impatient; it was all he could do not to pace around the clearing. His eyes darted around the glade, never resting on any one object for long; the branches, moss, and fallen leaves did not interest him in the slightest. It wasn't until his sharp green eyes found Jaggedclaw that they paused for a moment, only to flick away again as Jaggedclaw lifted his head.

He and Jaggedclaw had barely said a word to each other all day. Tension from the night before still crackled between them like static electricity, and Spiderpaw was almost afraid that if they brushed up against each other they would burst into flames.

He realized that he was looking towards the older tom again, and hastily deflected his gaze. Jaggedclaw let out a low growl.

"If you think staring at me will make me apologize, you're mistaken."

Spiderpaw was amused by the idea. "Getting an apology out of you would be like wrestling a thorn from a kit's paw."

Jaggedclaw let out a low grunt, but said nothing more. Spiderpaw's tail flicked with irritation, but his annoyance was not directed towards the older warrior.

"He said he would be here!" Spiderpaw growled, rising to his paws to pace over the spongy ground. "Right after the dawn patrol, he said. Look at the sky! It's past sunhigh!"

"Perhaps he's busy."

"Or perhaps he's too much of a coward to face me again."

"You know that's not fair to him."

His tail lashed from side to side. "Maybe not, but it doesn't matter. He should be here. He's wasting both of our time, and it's getting on my nerves."

Jaggedclaw's head was resting on his paws; his tail flicked back and forth almost lazily. "It's not like my time is valuable. And neither is yours, really. What else would you be doing?"

Spiderpaw didn't bother to reply; instead, he began pacing again. _Stupid furball shouldn't have been making promises he couldn't keep, _he seethed.

"Well, what are the two of you doing here?"

Spiderpaw's head whipped around, his green gaze already as sharp as an enemy's claws; he recognized the voice. Sure enough, Leopardpaw stood before him, leaning against a broad tree trunk with a smile flickering on her muzzle.

The dappled she-cat bent her head to pick up prey – Spiderpaw was irritated that she had managed to catch both a mouse as well as a vole, despite the chill of leaf-bare – and trotted towards the edge of the clearing. Jaggedclaw tilted his head towards her, one ear flicking, but said nothing.

Leopardpaw dropped the prey in front of the elder. "I bet you're hungry." Her gaze flicked to Spiderpaw. "What are you two doing out here?"

Spiderpaw bared his fangs, a hot retort gathering in his throat, only to blink with surprise as Jaggedclaw smiled, pulling the mouse towards his body with one paw.

"I'm Spiderpaw's unofficial mentor; Petalcloud and I are splitting the duties, so to speak," he rumbled, before sinking his fangs into the fresh-kill.

Leopardpaw's whiskers twitched with amusement. "Petalcloud can't stand you or what, Spiderkit?"

"Don't call me that!" he spat. "And, for your information, I chose this. I wanted Jaggedclaw to be the one to teach me battle moves."

Leopardpaw's gaze flicked between the two toms. "Uh huh. You two definitely seem to be working very hard."

Spiderpaw's fur bristled, but Jaggedclaw said nothing; the only sound coming from the older tom was that of his teeth grating against bone, which only annoyed Spiderpaw further.

"Why don't you just slink on back to camp with your stupid prey?" Spiderpaw growled. "We don't want you here."

"Oh, don't you? I was under the impression that you were just _longing _to see me." She smiled mischievously, her white fangs glinting as she padded towards him.

Spiderpaw's fur ruffled even higher, but Leopardpaw still seemed amused; she padded onto the spongy moss without a trace of fear, and faced him.

"What's got your tail in a knot, little Spiderkit?" she asked. "Afraid to fight me, huh? Is the only she-cat you can beat down little Blackpaw?"

His eyes narrowed. "Don't you talk about her."

Her whiskers twitched. "Did I strike a nerve? My my. You'd think that your temper would have improved by now, since you're just so big and strong-" Her voice broke off as he lunged at her, but she evaded him with ease. Leopardpaw laughed, which only inflamed his anger. He sprang at her again, but only grasped air before he hit the ground.

"You really haven't learned anything at all, have you?" The amusement in her eyes seemed to shimmer, irritating him even more.

He let out a low hiss, then forced himself to take in a deep breath; he could feel Jaggedclaw's eyes on him, and his ears flattened as he thought of the tom's lecture from the night before.

_Yeah, well, forget him! _He thought, feeling his anger grow the longer he looked at Leopardpaw. _I'll prove him wrong. I'm not ready to give up on that dream...not yet!_

He moved as though he was going to lunge forward again, and she tensed, but he gave her a mocking smile instead and began circling her. She tilted her head to the side, keeping her eyes on him without moving; when he reached her back, she yawned, her tail flicking from side to side almost lazily. He resisted the urge to spring, knowing that she was only taunting him, and continued to circle while he looked for some sort of opening, some weakness in her defenses.

He could see none, but that couldn't stop him. He sprang forward, feinting to the left while actually aiming to the right, only to hiss with frustration as she still managed to avoid him.

"Is that your plan, to just dance around here like a falling leaf?" he spat at her. She grinned at him then, a grin that – if he had been in a more sensible mood – would have sent a chill down his spine. Instead, his temper blazed without fear, and he was completely unprepared for her pounce.

He sprang to the side, confident that his speed would save him, only to draw in a sharp breath one of her front paws grazed his side as she passed him. He spun around to face her; it took him a moment to realize that her claws were not unsheathed, and that she had done nothing more than brush against his pelt as she flew back.

His rage burned even brighter. _She's just playing with me, like I'm a mouse or a ball of moss!_

He snarled at her, but her face was carefully neutral as her keen gaze flicked over him; she moved forward again and he sprang to the side once more, but she followed him with practiced ease. He saw the sunlight glint off of her claws before she slashed at her face. He drew back, shaking his face with a hiss as pain burned on his muzzle. Leopardpaw landed with grace and watched him continue to walk backwards, trying to place a few tail-lengths between them.

He touched his muzzle with one paw; when he drew away, his black paw glimmered with wet blood. She had made a clean cut over the top of his muzzle, and it was deeper than he had initially thought; it would certainly leave a scar.

The anger he'd felt before was nothing compared to the inferno that consumed him now. Leopardpaw had _marked _him, left a sign of her triumph on his face for the world to see. Forgetting every lesson he had ever been taught, he hurled himself towards her, paws outstretched, aiming to land on her shoulders.

She surprised him by rolling onto her back. Too late, he realized he had leaped into a trap; her claws glittered dangerously like a bed of thorns, waiting for him to plunge into them. He couldn't change direction in midair, and so he fell, pain spiking through his entire body as he impaled himself on her claws.

She kicked him with her back legs, sending him flying; he landed in a heap on his side, his stomach oozing blood onto the soft moss. He wheezed, trying to catch his breath, but it felt as though his chest had caved in. Leopardpaw darted forward, boxing his ears almost playfully without her claws before unsheathing them once more to score a dancing blow down the side of his muzzle.

She drew back, panting slightly. Then, she smiled and sat down, curling her tail around her paws and watching him as he struggled to breath. She gave him a small, mocking smile, before her pink tongue darted over her claws to clean them of blood. She was giving the clear signal that the fight was over.

For a sensible cat, it would have been.

Spiderpaw took in a ragged breath and heaved himself to his paws; he swayed and nearly fell over, but somehow managed to stay upright. Leopardpaw watched him with a mixture of surprise and amusement, but didn't move.

Spiderpaw coughed, trying to force more air into his lungs, before giving his head a shake, sending droplets of blood flying. He glared at Leopardpaw, his eyes narrowed. However, his gaze was devoid of anger. Rather, it felt as though he had been dipped into an icy pool. His eyes darted over her body, sizing her up, mapping her weaknesses.

"You're already beaten, little Spiderkit; best let it go before you really injure yourself," Leopardpaw mewed, her tongue still flicking over her claws.

He smiled; it was barely a flicker on his muzzle, just the slightest twitch at the corners of his mouth, but it was there. "You can knock me down all you want, but if you think that means you've beaten me, you're mistaken."

Leopardpaw sighed, and rose to her paws, her tail swishing from side to side. "Fine. But when I knock you down this time, you're going to stay down."

He remained perfectly still, watching her; if his eyes unnerved her, she gave no sign of it. For a long moment they simply stood there, looking at one another, deaf and blind to the rest of the world. Then, slowly, Spiderpaw began moving forward. Each step made his stomach throb, but he ignored the pain as he began circling her. Leopardpaw let out a low chuckle.

"This again?" she asked, but she began to circle him as well. Whether she was doing it for amusement or purpose, he wasn't entirely sure, but it didn't matter.

He pretended to move forward, and she shifted to the right; he did so again, and she shifted to the left. His whiskers twitched; she looked almost like an anxious bird when she jerked in such a manner.

Leopardpaw's eyes narrowed, and he knew that this time she wasn't simply playing around. That was fine with him; he was banking on her taking this seriously.

The pain in his chest was beginning to ease, so he charged forward, zigzagging over the soft battlefield. Leopardpaw's eyes darted with him, trying to track his movements and predict where he was going to spring, but in truth even he didn't know what he was going to do. It all mattered on what Leopardpaw chose.

As he grew nearer, Leopardpaw finally had to move; rather than leaping to the right or left, she sprang into the air. Spiderpaw smiled and threw himself to the ground, ignoring the pain as his shoulder grazed the moss. He was on his back just as Leopardpaw had been before, but his claws were sheathed.

Leopardpaw landed on him with a hiss, but rather than try to claw her he kicked at the exact moment that she landed. Her head snapped back as the force of his kick threw her two tail-lengths away. It wasn't as far as he would have liked, but as Jaggedclaw had reminded him, he was not a strong cat.

He advanced on her; now she was the one wheezing, the one struggling for breath. He unsheathed his claws and flitted forward, slicing over her muzzle with one claw as she had done. He sprang back as she lashed out with one paw, then grinned.

"We're twins now," he meowed, tapping his own muzzle despite the pain. The slash that he had created was the mirror image of his own; if they pressed their muzzles side-by-side it would create a v-shape.

She glowered at him and pushed herself to her paws; he saw pain flicker over her face, but only for an instant.

She thrust herself forward, feinting to the right before striking at his left flank. He dodged her easily, slashing at her shoulder as she passed him. She wheeled around and wheezed for breath. She shook her head just as he had done, sending blood dappling the ground around her.

Then, to his surprise, she smiled and let out a low chuckle. "Alright. Perhaps you've learned a thing or two, little Spiderkit."

He was taken aback by her laughter, and his guard dropped. It was only for a moment, but it was all that Leopardpaw needed to lunge forward and pin him to the ground. He thrashed underneath of her, but she pressed one paw to his chest where she had kicked him before, and applied pressure. It almost made him yowl with, and she smiled again.

"You've learned a little, Spiderkit...but not nearly enough," she purred, before nipping his ear. She released him and sprang back, her tail swishing from side to side. She watched him for a moment, her green eyes glittering, before turning and dipping her head to Jaggedclaw.

Spiderpaw rolled onto his side, coughing, and then blinked with surprise as he spotted Blizzardpaw. The white tom was sitting next to Jaggedclaw, chewing on the vole that Leopardpaw had brought earlier, with a dazed expression on his face.

Spiderpaw's face burned with shame to think that the calm, rational apprentice had seen him explode while fighting the golden she-cat; he was surprised to see the slightest glimpse of awe in Blizzardpaw's bright blue eyes.

"I'll be leaving now," Leopardpaw meowed. "See you later, Jaggedclaw, Blizzardpaw, Spiderkit."

With that, she sprang away, disappearing into the forest. Spiderpaw stared after her, feeling irritation prickle over her pelt; she hadn't even sounded winded. He knew she was only concealing her exhaustion, but her ability to do so rankled him.

He coughed again as he lurched to his paws. Blizzardpaw rose and padded towards him, his blue eyes gleaming with anxiety.

"Are you alright? Those cuts look like they really sting," he observed. "The one on your nose there is pretty deep. You should have Shimmerfrost look at it."

"I'm fine," Spiderpaw snapped. "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't showing up."

Blizzardpaw's ears flattened. "Eaglestrike caught me when the dawn patrol was coming back; he took me out for a short training session. You guys were already gone, or I would have told you. Are you sure you're okay?"

Spiderpaw brushed him away with annoyance. "I told you, I'm fine."

Blizzardpaw smiled. "Good. I'm glad I wasn't you...or Leopardpaw, for that matter. You both look a little worse for wear. Still...that was pretty cool, Spiderpaw. I can barely touch Leopardpaw when we're sparring. She got you good at the beginning, Jaggedclaw said, but by the end you looked about evenly matched!"

Spiderpaw felt a small prickle of pleasure at the compliment, but pushed it aside. "Thanks, but you'd better go. I'm pretty sure Jaggedclaw is going to chew me out."

Blizzardpaw glanced towards the scarred tom. "Oh. I wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of his tongue, I suppose. Well, I'll see you later then, Spiderpaw. Nice battle." He bounded off, his white tail sticking straight up in the air.

Spiderpaw glanced towards Jaggedclaw, his ears flattening; Jaggedclaw was gnawing on one of the mouse bones, and was no longer looking at him.

Spiderpaw cleared his throat. "I'm going to see Shimmerfrost about my nose."

Jaggedclaw glanced up for a moment, fixing Spiderpaw with his single eye; the black apprentice felt apprehension crawl in his stomach like ants.

Jaggedclaw let out a low grunt as he forced himself to his feet; he scraped a few pawfuls of dirt over the prey before he began limping in the direction of camp. Uncertain as of what to do, Spiderpaw followed him cautiously.

Jaggedclaw paused at the edge of the clearing and looked over his shoulder at the young tom.

"That," he murmured, "is _exactly _the kind of sparring you need."

He began walking again, leaving Spiderpaw blinking with befuddlement. He broke into a lope to catch up to the scarred tom.

"I don't want to spar with her again; she gets on my nerves," Spiderpaw growled. Jaggedclaw let out a low, rusty laugh.

"That's what sparring partners are for. Weren't you trying to get underneath Blizzardpaw's fur when you fought? It didn't work on him, he isn't the type...but Leopardpaw played you perfectly to make you angry. You gave into that anger, and she was winning. I told you that you needed to use your brain. Near the end you did, and that was when you two were more evenly matched."

"I can't help it that she was goading me." He clenched his jaw.

"You didn't have to give into it."

"You do!" Spiderpaw exclaimed. "That's how I got you to walk, don't you remember?"

"I never said I was proud of my temper."

Spiderpaw rolled his eyes. "Well, it just seems a _little _hypocritical to tell me to do something that you don't."

Jaggedclaw laughed quietly. "I never said I wasn't a hypocrite. And you shouldn't be using me as a role model. I'm hardly the type."

"Ravenwing always said that you were very brave." Spiderpaw looked to Jaggedclaw, feeling almost curious; there was so much that he wanted to know about the older tom's past that he knew Jaggedclaw would probably never divulge. Spiderpaw hated the feeling of secrets gnawing at him; he wanted to know everything about everyone. How else could he make the best decisions, and exploit the weaknesses of others when he really needed to, like when he had goaded Jaggedclaw into taking those first few steps?

"Bravery doesn't make me a good cat," Jaggedclaw grunted. He was walking a bit more quickly now; Spiderpaw hastened his own pace to keep alongside him.

"Maybe not...but I think you are." Spiderpaw's ears flattened; the words sounded sappy, but he meant them.

Jaggedclaw chuckled. "That's only because you don't know everything that I do."

"You could tell me."

Jaggedclaw didn't say anything, but his answer was an obvious 'no.' Spiderpaw frowned, his gaze dropped to his paws for a moment.

_Let's see if I can startle him into telling me something, _he thought with an inward smile.

"Who was Destiny?"

Jaggedclaw stopped. He turned to Spiderpaw, his gaze sharp. "Where did you hear that name?"

"From you." Spiderpaw gave him his best innocent gaze, his eyes wide and soft, brimming with a careful mixture of concern and curiosity. "You mentioned her twice yesterday."

Spiderpaw could see one of the muscles in Jaggedclaw's clenched jaw working as the scarred tom thought of a reply. He finally shook his head and continued walking. Spiderpaw's ears flattened – he had been hoping for more of a response – but he hurried after his mentor.

"Who was she?" he pressed. "I know she's the cat you chased over the Thunderpath, that much was pretty obvious, but I doubt she blurted her name on the battlefield, so how did you-"

"Drop it."

Spiderpaw gave him a stubborn glare. "No. I think I deserve to know about your past if you're going to be training me."

"Those are two completely unrelated facts," Jaggedclaw replied. "Knowing who Destiny is won't help you."

"So she's still alive?"

This time, it was Jaggedclaw who glared. "Spiderpaw, I'm warning you. Drop it. There are some things you don't need to know, understand?"

"What if I keep training with Leopardpaw?" Spiderpaw asked, his green eyes glinting. "What if I make her my sparring partner instead of Blizzardpaw? You said she'd be perfect, and I don't like her. Is that good enough for a little information?"

Jaggedclaw looked as though he didn't know whether to be angry or amused. He was quiet for a long moment, before letting out a quiet sigh. "Fine. But you have to do more than just make her your sparring partner. I want you to fight her tomorrow and never let her get underneath your fur, understand? I don't want to see you angry at all the entire time. Got it?"

"And then you'll answer my question?"

"And then I'll tell you how Destiny and I met, and you'll be content with that," Jaggedclaw countered. Spiderpaw's ear twitched as he mulled it over; he knew it wasn't likely that he would get another opportunity to learn about Jaggedclaw, and as much as he disliked and distrusted Leopardpaw he knew that Jaggedclaw was right; fighting with her had been much better than fighting with Blizzardpaw.

"Deal," he said, and Jaggedclaw gave him a small nod.

They continued the rest of the way back to camp in silence.

. . .

Spiderpaw curled up in his nest with a yawn; by the time he and Jaggedclaw had gotten back to camp, it had been past sunset. They had shared a robin – Jaggedclaw was always hungry now, it seemed – and then just sat together watching the sun go down. Spiderpaw hadn't been called onto any patrols, for which he was grateful; sparring with Leopardpaw had taken everything out of him, although he had felt a bit better after eating.

He pressed his nose into his paws, muffling another yawn. A great weariness had swept over him; he had been considering visiting Blackpaw again to make sure that she was still okay, but he felt too tired to drag himself out of his nest now.

_Tomorrow, _he promised. _I'll talk to her tomorrow._

He closed his eyes, resting his muzzle against the soft moss of his nest, and allowing his breathing to ease. He took deep, calming breaths, syncing himself with the other apprentices who were already asleep. Spiderpaw could feel his thoughts beginning to twirl on their axises as he allowed himself to relax.

He felt something brush his ear; he flicked it, thinking that it was one of the few remaining bugs of the year. Then, something touched his flank; he flicked his tail before shifting slightly.

A paw touched his shoulder and jostled him; immediately his eyes sprang open and darted around the den before finally settling on the dark figure blocking to the entrance to the den. It took him a moment to recognize the gleaming golden eyes.

"Blackpaw?" he asked, his voice with with sleepiness, rubbing one eye and squinting at her. "What are you doing? It's late."

"I couldn't sleep." She bowed her head. "They covered up the stains, but I can still smell the blood..."

He tilted his head to the side, and something in his neck popped. "Are you going to move in here?"

"I'm not supposed to...Shimmerfrost says I have to stay with the others so that she can keep an eye on me, since..." She glanced at her flank, and Spiderpaw fought the urge to wince at the cobwebs covering her side.

He sat up. "What are you doing here, then?"

She swallowed, looking a bit nervous. "I want to spar with you again."

He stared at her. "Not tonight, surely?"

She nodded, and he shook his head. "No, Blackpaw, no way. Not with your injuries. You need to wait and heal up."

"I can't wait, Spiderpaw," Blackpaw meowed. "Every day there's the chance that AshClan will be attacked. Every day there's the chance that someone else will be killed. I have to start training again, and I have to become a warrior. I've got to be there now, for my Clan. Birchpool died because of me...so when I'm fighting, every blow needs to count for two cats."

"Blackpaw, I'm glad you actually want to train for once, but you've got to wait," Spiderpaw insisted. "Shimmerfrost would have my head if she found out, not to mention how Fireblaze would reac-"

"You never wait!" Blackpaw burst out. "You never wait for anything. You do whatever you want without letting anyone or anything hold you back. You follow your own path. You're loud and brash and rude and sometimes that gets you into trouble, I know, but sometimes it only makes you...brave."

Spiderpaw stared at her. "Brave?"

Blackpaw's golden eyes were burning like twin suns as she stared at him. "Yes, Spiderpaw. Brave. Brave in a way that I'm not...brave in a way that I need to be. And you're the only one who can help me, Spiderpaw! You're the only one that can push me as far as I need to go. I need to spar with you, Spiderpaw, and I need to do it tonight. I can't waste any more time. If I'd done this all sooner, Birchpool might still be alive..."

Her voice wavered for an instant, and she ducked her head to hide her expression; Spiderpaw felt a stirring of pity, but also something else. It was almost kin to respect, although he knew that she was still far from earning even a scrap of respect from him.

"Okay, Blackpaw," he said, his voice quiet so he didn't alert the others. "We can spar tonight...but we're not going to push you too hard, understand? Even I would take some time to rest if I was injured as badly as you."

Blackpaw's eyes flicked up to him, and they glimmered with gratitude. "Thank you, Spiderpaw." She dipped her head to him, before turning and exiting the den; with a last glance towards his nest, Spiderpaw followed.

. . .

"Are you sure about this?" he asked as he faced her. She nodded, her golden eyes glinting with determination; he had never seen the expression on her face before, or at least it hadn't been as strong as the one she held now.

"Okay. Just try dodging for tonight; fighting back would reopen your wounds, and we can't have that," Spiderpaw said as he crouched. Blackpaw nodded, then tensed, watching him carefully.

Spiderpaw was tired; his muscles were still burning faintly from the battle with Leopardpaw, and he hadn't managed to catch more than a wink of sleep before Blackpaw had woken him up.

_She could barely move out of my way even when she was at full strength; there's no reason for me to give this everything I have...at least not tonight, _he thought. _We'll jump around enough to make her a little winded, and then turn in for the night. It's admirable that she wants to train, but I can't cndone her pushing herself too far, and I'm too tired to do much myself, at least for tonight..._

When he sprang forward, he wasn't expecting anything but her fur underneath his paws. However, when he landed, he was grasping nothing but air and dirt. He spun around to face Blackpaw, blinking with surprise. She seemed equally startled by the fact that she had managed to dodge his attack.

Spiderpaw shook his head. _Furball, you're being sloppy. She would have never gotten away from you normally. Focus this time!_

He lunged forward again, putting more power into his leap. His paws were spread wide and his toes were extended for a better grip, but when he landed he found that she had evaded him once again.

Blackpaw was leaning to her less-injured side, and she was panting slightly, but there was no longer any surprise in her eyes. All that remained was burning resoluteness.

Spiderpaw's pelt prickled, but for once it was not with irritation; rather, it felt almost like excitement. He crouched for the third time, his eyes narrowed into slits as he watched her.

_You're not getting away this time, _he thought, before charging forward with all his might. He did not leap this time, but rather swiped at her with one paw, making sure that his claws were sheathed. Blackpaw dodged neatly to the left, then sprang back once more as he struck with his other paw. He missed her by a whisker's width, but he was not yet finished.

He quickly sprang into the air, not aiming for her but for where she would land; he guessed that she would spring to the left once again. It was easier for her because of the wounds on her side. Instead, Blackpaw didn't move at all; she only tilted her head to watch him fly over her.

Spiderpaw recovered quickly, landing on his paws with ease and spinning to face her. Blackpaw watched him, her face becoming a mask of concentration, giving nothing away.

A chill ran down his spine; this was not the Blackpaw he was used to. It almost seemed as though the timid, anxious apprentice had been replaced by a stone-cold warrior.

He was still slightly amazed that there was no anger within him. Instead, the excitement was building, crackling over his pelt.

_Something's different. I'm not sure what it is, but..._His tail swept over the mossy ground, and he found a small grin curling his muzzle. _Alright, Blackpaw. Let's see just how determined you are._

He hurled himself towards her, striking out with both front paws before lunging to her left, pretending to slash at her before leaping over her back and attacking her other side. His paw grazed her shoulder as he sprang over her, but that was the only time he managed to touch the lithe apprentice. She dodged his every other attack, watching his movements with her keen eyes. Her brow was furrowed, and it was obvious that this was not coming easily to her; he marveled at her concentration.

He kicked at her back paws, trying to sweep her legs out from beneath her. She sprang into the air, and he realized two moments too late that his attack had left him unbalanced.

Blackpaw landed with her paws spread wide, giving her better balance; she struck as quickly as lighting, pushing at his front paws with her own. His back paws weren't there to hold him up because of his attack, and he crashed to the ground. He tried to scramble to his paws, but instead found that Blackpaw was crouched on his chest.

He stared up at her for a moment, his green eyes wide in the faint moonlight. She stared back down at him, her face as unreadable as a statue's. Then, the firmness in her eyes splintered a bit, and he saw the gentle Blackpaw that he knew so well.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" she mewed, but she did not get off of his chest.

"No," he lied; her paw was place squarely where Leopardpaw had kicked him earlier, but he didn't want her to think he was weak. "I'm fine."

Blackpaw smiled, but still didn't move; Spiderpaw watched her for a moment longer, before a laugh bubbled out of his throat. Blackpaw blinked, looking confused as he continued to laugh. His laughter bounced off of the surrounding trees and branches, making him sound half-crazed.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"_You," _he snorted. She blinked again, looking almost hurt, before he shook his head, his whiskers still quivering with amusement. "All this time I've been pushing you around and giving you a hard time...and then you come back after nearly dying, and you completely kick my tail!"

She flushed underneath her fur. "It was just luck, Spiderpaw. I caught you by surprise...and I've been training the last few days."

"Training?" he echoed. "How? You've never gone out of camp, I know that for a fact. Fireblaze would have flipped out completely if you had."

"Not physically, but mentally," she explained. "I've been thinking about our past sessions, and what I could have done better...I didn't have much else to do in the nursery, you know. I had to keep my mind off of Birchpool somehow...so I've been thinking and thinking and I was trying to figure out how you worked. And I think I did, at least a little bit; if you weren't as tired as you are now, it probably wouldn't have worked."

"I might be tired, but I bet you're still sore," Spiderpaw meowed. "You beat me soundly, don't try to deny it." He wiggled, trying to hint for her to get off of him, but she still didn't move.

"I just...I just wanted you to know I'm serious this time, Spiderpaw," she mewed, her ears flattening. "Last time...last time I was trying, but I was still just messing around half the time, too...like when I asked if we were friends. That was really dumb, and I'm sorry...if I'd been working harder, things might have been different, but..."

She tried to duck her head again, but since Spiderpaw was still underneath her, it didn't work. Instead she craned her neck back to stare up at the cloud-dappled sky.

Spiderpaw let out a quiet purr. "I believe you now, Blackpaw. You wouldn't be sitting here like Silverstar on the BranchPile if you weren't serious this time. Get off of me, would you?"

"Sorry!" Blackpaw explained, and stepped off of him; he rolled over onto his side and then got to his paws, resisting the urge to give his chest a rub with one paw. It was aching faintly.

He turned to face her again; she tensed, then relaxed as she realized that he wasn't going to attack again. His gaze darted over her, taking in her lifted chin, her slightly arched back, her raised tail. She wasn't acting timid or nervous, not like she had been before. She wasn't completely different – no one could change that quickly – but there was no denying that Birchpool's death had shifted something inside of her. She wasn't the innocent, almost kit-like apprentice that she had been before. For some reason, it almost made him sad.

"Come on," he said finally, turning in the direction of camp. "We need to head back anyway. I don't know about you, but I'm about to fall asleep standing up.

"That's fine," Blackpaw meowed, and began to trail after him; he paused for a moment so that they were walking together, their strides matching. He glanced at her again when she wasn't paying attention, watching as her round, golden eyes stared up at the mottled clouds and shining moon.

They were silent as they entered camp together; Blackpaw paused between the nursery and apprentice. Her ears flattened as she stared into the nursery's gaping maw, and she let out a quiet sigh.

"We can talk to Shimmerfrost about you moving back to the apprentice den," Spiderpaw offered. "Iif you tell her you'll take it easy, she'll probably agree."

Blackpaw nodded, before glancing at him, looking a little nervous. "Can we train again tomorrow night?"

"Maybe. We'll see how we both feel tomorrow; I'll probably be sore from my sparring today, and I'll be sparring with Leopardpaw again...if you want to meet after nightfall, though, we can discuss it then."

"Okay." She turned towards the nursery. "Goodnight, Spiderpaw."

"Goodnight," he said, and started towards the apprentice den. He paused in the entrance, and looked back towards Blackpaw. As if she sensed his gaze, she stopped as well, her ear flicking as she blinked at him.

"When you asked if we were friends before...I told you no, in no uncertain terms," he meowed. Blackpaw looked puzzled, but she nodded. Spiderpaw gave her the smallest of smiles. "I'd like to change my answer."

It was almost as if a sun ray had slid over Blackpaw's face; she positively beamed at him, and he could hear her purring. "I'm glad."

Spiderpaw flushed under his fur, feeling awkward, before he gave her another little smile and ducked into the apprentice den.

He felt bone-weary as he curled up for the night in his nest; he could hear the low, steady snoring of Redpaw, and the gusty sleep-sighs of Blizzardpaw. He allowed himself to relax, his thoughts beginning to twirl and spin as he slipped off to sleep.

The last thing he was aware of was a tiny smile flickering on his muzzle.

**AN: Blog update tomorrow, it's too late now.**

**Also updated the one-shots, so go look! The chapter (Possibilities) is about another one of the Sinners.**


	33. C h a p t e r 32

**C _h a p t e r _32**

"Are you sure it was painless?" she whispered, staring down at her paws. Bluepaw pressed her blue-gray fur against Sootpaw's flank, for which she was grateful.

"When we took him to the den, he was fading in and out of consciousness...but we gave him the last of the poppy seeds after making sure everyone else had eaten at least one, and after that he was just asleep...it was painless, Sootpaw, I promised. One moment he was there, the next he wasn't."

Sootpaw leaned against Bluepaw's side, her eyes locked on the still body in the middle of their makeshift camp, which was a small clearing in the wooded area. Her heart felt like a stone that had fallen into a vast river; she couldn't quite pull herself out of the water that threatened to push her beneath the surface.

_StarClan...Rainwind should not have died today, _she thought, ducking her head. _He was a noble cat, pure of heart and gentle and kind and loving...we were paw-picked, weren't we? You knew who was going to volunteer for the journey, didn't you? Why didn't you help us? Why didn't you stop Adder? Why didn't you make sure this didn't happen...?_

_I thought everyone would be okay, because in my dream Smoke saved them all...but Rook and Nightingale didn't save us. They tried – they were so brave, both of them, standing up to Adder like that - but they couldn't stop Rainwind from dying..._She swallowed. _The pain that Brackenpaw must be going through...I can't imagine it. And what about Rainwind's family? Surely he had someone who loved him back home...what are we going to tell them? How can we say that we weren't strong enough to protect their son or brother or father or mate?_

"Should we say something, do you think?" Bluepaw asked. "He wasn't our Clanmate, but...I liked him."

"I don't know." Sootpaw drew in a quiet, shuddering breath. "I liked him too, and I want to pay my respects, but...he wasn't our Clanmate, and I wouldn't want to invade their..." She trailed off, staring at Rabbitleap, Swanpaw, and Brackenpaw, who were huddled around their fallen warrior. She didn't need to explain her feelings to Bluepaw; she knew that in the blue-gray apprentice's own heart she was echoing the same emotions.

"I guess this means that even if we were chosen by StarClan to save the Clans...we aren't invincible," Sootpaw mewed. Bluepaw sighed.

"Who said StarClan was watching over us tonight, anyway?"

Sootpaw looked to her friend, startled out of her gloom for a brief moment. Bluepaw shifted her weight uncomfortably.

"Sorry, sorry, it just slipped out...I know thoughts like that aren't appropriate, not now, but..."

"You're our medicine cat's apprentice. How can you _say _that? How can you express doubt in StarClan?" Sootpaw stared into Bluepaw's eyes with concern.

Bluepaw avoided her eyes. "It's...complicated, Sootpaw, that's all. Don't worry about it...I didn't really mean it. I'm sure StarClan's watching over us. It's just...frustrating, to know all this medicine-cat-herb-stuff and not being able to save someone that you care about...Shimmerfrost couldn't fix Silverstar, and I can't fix Jaypaw and I couldn't fix Rainwind and everything's all messed up...I didn't think this was how it would go at all when we first set out. I thought everything would be easy, that this would be no trouble at all, but it's _not. _It's hard, Sootpaw, harder than you could ever realize..." Bluepaw's voice was choked, and she rubbed one eye with her paw, using the movement to hide her face.

Sootpaw blinked, but didn't want to pry any further. Medicine cats always had secrets, and there would always be things that Bluepaw knew that she could never share with the rest of the Clan, even with her closest friends.

_It's a lonely sort of life, _Sootpaw realized. _No wonder Shimmerfrost is so cold...I would be too, if I was a medicine cat._

_But...I guess I have more in common with them than I'd like, don't I? I can't ever tell anyone about my dreams. They'd think I was crazy...or even worse, in league with the Dark Forest. Which I guess I might be, but I'm only trying to help...I'm doing a good thing by helping them, aren't I?_

She flicked her gaze to the sky, but the moon was cloaked by clouds. Not being able to see the stars twinkling above made her feel even more isolated, and for a moment she began to doubt StarClan's powers herself. It didn't make sense that they would send the Clans on such an important mission, and then not protect them. They had warned her, yes, but in the dream everything had turned out alright; no one had died or even been injured. How was it that they could send her such a dream, and then allow one of her journey-mates to be killed?

"Maybe we should go back into the den," Bluepaw mewed. "It's cold out here." She shivered as she spoke, her breath puffing in front of her face.

Sootpaw shook her head. She knew that in a normal vigil, some cats would retire to their dens and sleep, if they weren't close to the deceased; she and Bluepaw definitely qualified, since they hadn't even been in the same Clan. At the same time, she felt an odd attachment to Rainwind; he had not been her Clanmate, and in hindsight she had truly known very little about him, but she didn't want to simply turn her back on him and sleep as though nothing had transpired.

She found herself rising to her paws. Bluepaw rose with her, but she shook her head and the blue-gray apprentice sat back down, blinking at her curiously. Sootpaw strode towards the grieving cats, feeling a prickle of nervousness run through her fur as she approached them.

Rabbitleap and Swanpaw both looked up as if sensing her arrival, but Brackenpaw was motionless. He was crouched next to his mentor, his head bowed so that his nose was almost touching Rainwind's silver-gray fur. Sage and Bluepaw had done a good job cloaking Rainwind's fatal wounds; the tabby tom looked almost as if he was simply dozing and would wake up within moments.

"What are you doing?" Swanpaw growled. Her blue eyes glittered with a mixture of anger and pain. It was all Sootpaw could do not to flinch or look away; Swanpaw had always seemed untouchable when it came to things like pain and loss, and seeing her looking so distraught was chilling.

"I-I just came to pay my respects," she stammered. "I just wanted to say goodbye to him. He was a good warrior."

"A good warrior," Swanpaw snorted, her voice harsh and mocking. "You didn't know a thing about him. None of you AshClan cats did...but you think you can just walk up and invade our vigil to mutter something so vague and trite? Tell me, what _do _you know about him? What was his mother's name? Did he have any siblings? What did he want more than anything in the world? What what his favorite time of day?" She glared at Sootpaw, and the gray apprentice shrank back, intimidated and hurt by Swanpaw's stinging words.

She had to admit that the ginger-and-white she-cat had a point; she hadn't known Rainwind, not really, not in the same manner that his own Clanmates did. Who was she to invade their privacy? Who was she to barge in on their sacred ceremony, their last few moments with the dead tom?

"His mother's name was Dawnlight. He had no pure-blooded siblings, but Graywing was his half-sister. What he truly wanted was for all cats to be at peace with one another, so that he would no longer have to play the peacekeeper."

Sootpaw's eyes flicked to Brackenpaw as the golden tom spoke; it took her a moment to realize that he was saying the answers to Swanpaw's questions. Swanpaw looked equally surprised, then triumphant as she shot another hateful glance in Sootpaw's direction.

Sootpaw took a step backwards, only to jump as feminine voice meowed,

"And his favorite time of day was evening, because it was his time of quiet reflection."

Sootpaw turned to find Reedrush blinking down at her. Her green eyes glimmered with kindness, then hardened as she looked to Swanpaw. "You should be ashamed of yourself. We might not have been Rainwind's Clanmates, but that doesn't mean that we knew nothing about him or did not respect him. He died trying to protect us and his Clan, and we respect him for it. Isn't that enough to grant us a few words in his honor?"

Surprise and indignation flashed over Swanpaw's face. She bared her fangs and looked almost as though she would attack Reedrush, before Rabbitleap butted in with a quiet,

"She's right. Rainwind wouldn't have wanted his death to cause even more struggles. He was always the type of cat that loved peace." Rabbitleap's stubby tail twitched from side to side like she was attempting to flick it. "Whether you like it or not, Swanpaw, right now there's no PeakClan or AshClan cats here. We're all journey-mates, if only for the moment."

Swanpaw's ears flattened and she looked sullen, but she chose not to argue with the young warrior. She stepped to the side, allowing both Reedrush and Sootpaw to get closer to Rainwind.

Sootpaw hesitated, then brushed her nose over Rainwind's soft fur; it was chilly to the touch, and stiff from the creeping frost. Her heart seemed to sink even further. There was no pretending that Rainwind was only asleep now.

_I'm sorry, Rainwind, _she thought. _I'm sorry that you had to die...I'm sorry that you were in pain, even though Bluepaw said that your death was gentle. I'm sorry that you won't get to mentor Brackenpaw anymore, and that you won't be there to chant his warrior name. I'm sorry that your loss has hurt Rabbitleap, Swanpaw, and especially Brackenpaw. I'm sorry that we won't have your calming influence __to guide us._

_But I hope that you're happy now, Rainwind. If there is any place that is a place of peace, it's StarClan. You don't have to worry about us. I'll take care of everyone here, I promise. I know StarClan is sending me these dreams for a reason...and I don't think I can hide them any longer. I'll tell Bluepaw when the moment is right...perhaps she and I can figure them out together._

"Goodbye," she murmured, then took a step back to allow Reedrush to move forward. She glanced towards Swanpaw, feeling a prickling sensation run over her pelt. Whether she liked it or not, the only reason she was still standing here and breathing was because of the ginger-and-white apprentice. Swanpaw had saved her life. It was only right that Sootpaw would swallow her pride and thank her.

"Can I talk to you over there?" she asked, flicking her tail towards the corner of their makeshift camp, near a young ash tree.

Swanpaw's eyes narrowed. "What for?"

Sootpaw's gaze darted towards Reedrush and Rabbitleap; she didn't want to admit her weakness in front of them. "It will only take a moment, I promise."

Swanpaw let out a low hiss, but she turned towards the ash tree. Sootpaw quickly followed her, and they walked until they were out of earshot.

"I just wanted to...to say thanks. For your help during the battle, I mean. I would have been in serious trouble with out you, and you're the last cat I would have expected to help, and..." Sootpaw trailed off and blinked at Swanpaw, alarmed to see that the ginger-and-white apprentice's sky-blue eyes were brimming with anger.

"Don't thank me!" Swanpaw spat. "Thank him." She jerked her muzzle towards Rainwind. "I found him during the battle. He was badly injured from Adder's attack and was going to try and leave the battlefield; he knew he wasn't much good, as torn up as he was. But then he saw you and that rogue she-cat and wanted to go and save you. I was going to try and get him to safety, but he wouldn't stop trying to get to you. He was talking about promises or something...he wasn't all that lucid. So I promised that I would help him, so long as he would try to get out of there and stay out of trouble...I left him, to save your sorry tail, and he..."

Pain moved through Swanpaw's eyes like ripples on the surface of a still lake. Sootpaw said nothing for a moment, reeling with shock.

Swanpaw bared her fangs at her, the pain replaced by swift anger. "I don't want to hear your apologies! What were you thinking when you decided to join our group? You don't contribute anything. You can't hunt. You can't fight. You just sit around with Bluepaw being useless. Even if you knew things about herbs, you'd still be useless." Her tail lashed from side to side. "You should have stayed home."

"I-I'm sorry, Swanpaw, I didn't...I never meant to..."

Swanpaw let out a low hiss. "Saying you didn't mean to won't make you any more useful. Saying that you're sorry won't make Rainwind any less dead." She turned away. "Don't talk to me again."

With that, the PeakClan apprentice strode away towards Rainwind's body. Sootpaw didn't move. She felt frozen, as if an icy paw had reached into her chest and grabbed her heart, constricting it.

"I didn't mean to..." she whispered again, but there was no one around to hear her.

She started as a tail brushed over her flank, and turned to find Bluepaw blinking at her. "Are you alright? What were you talking to Swanpaw about?"

"N-nothing," Sootpaw mumbled, bowing her head.

Bluepaw licked her ear. "Come on. I need to redress your wounds, I think; I told you not to move, remember? The injuries on your shoulders are pretty bad. Come on."

She led Sootpaw back towards the little den and ducked inside. Sootpaw followed her, wrinkling her nose as the scent of herbs grew in her nose. It seemed as though Bluepaw had grabbed a little bit of everything while she and Sage had been scouting around the area; berries, leaves, and flower petals covered the entire den.

"It's not very organized, I know...sit down here," Bluepaw instructed. Sootpaw did as she said, lying down on a small patch of moss. Bluepaw grabbed some nearby cobwebs and chewed up several orange-yellow leaves, covering the spider-silk with the juice before applying them to Sootpaw's shoulders and ear.

"Do you have any poppy seeds?" Sootpaw asked. The marigold was soothing, but the poppy seeds that she had eaten earlier were wearing off, and her ear was beginning to throb.

"No...we gave the last of them to Rainwind, I think..." Bluepaw paused to paw through the herbs scattered around the den. "Oh! Here's one, there you go. Sage is looking for some more, so when he gets back I'll give you another, but this should do for now." She pushed it towards Sootpaw with one paw and finished tending to her shoulder with a flourish of the other. "There we go, all done. Now, Sootpaw, I really think you should go to sleep."

"I've got to stay away for Rainwind's vigil," Sootpaw protested. Her head felt heavy and her muscles ached, not to mention how badly she wanted to make sure that Chillpaw and the others were okay, but after what Swanpaw had told her, she wasn't sure she could sleep at all.

"It's okay, Sootpaw," Bluepaw mewed. "The sun's coming up right now, I saw it."

Sootpaw started to rise, but Bluepaw held her down with one paw. "Trust me, Sootpaw, I promise. The vigil's just about over, and no one will think badly of you for drowsing off. Rainwind will understand. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be exhausted and in pain for him, right?"

Sootpaw's gaze flicked down to the single black seed in front of her. "I guess you're right..." She bent her head to lick up the little black seed, and immediately felt a wave of weariness wash over her. She rested her muzzle on her paws. Her eyelids felt as though someone's paw was pulling them down, and she let out a quiet sigh as she gave up and let them close.

"Bluepaw," she murmured as she began to slip away. "Remind me when I wake up...gotta tell you something..."

She felt Bluepaw's nose nuzzle her flank. "Okay, Sootpaw, I'll remember. Go to sleep now. Dream of butterflies and clouds and fun things like that."

_She laughed quietly, opening her eyes and expecting to see Bluepaw, only to find another pair of blue eyes blinking at her._

"_Moonpaw!" she exclaimed. "Is Chillpaw okay? I need to see him and the others right away!"_

_She started to move forwards towards the mist, only to find Moonpaw blocking her path._

"_Things are going to be a little different this time, okay?" Moonpaw asked. Icy fear sank its claws into Sootpaw's heart._

"_Is something wrong with Chillpaw? Was he injured?"_

"_I'll let him tell you himself, okay? Just wait. We aren't going to find him tonight. He's going to find us."_

"_But...I didn't think he could do that." She peered into the fog, hoping to see his cold eyes glittering at her in the gloom._

"_He's done it before," Moonpaw replied. "Don't you remember those first dreams?"_

"_Yeah, but..." Sootpaw trailed off and blinked slowly; she hadn't really considered _how _Chillpaw had been able to show her the memory of his death. Had he been in her dream...or had she been in his? The thought was deeply unsettling._

"_There!" Moonpaw exclaimed, pointing with her tail; Sootpaw's heart leaped as she recognized Chillpaw's ghostly figure weaving through the fog. As he approached, he seemed almost to shimmer, and it took Sootpaw a moment to realize that he wasn't all there. It seemed almost like the ghost of Chillpaw; she could see the mist through his fur, churning and flowing._

_Moonpaw sprang forward and bounced towards the white tom. She closed her eyes and reached up to touch noses with him. Instantly, Chillpaw's form solidified. He opened his eyes and flicked his gaze towards Sootpaw. She froze, transfixed by their icy depths._

"_Sootpaw," he said quietly, and just like that she was able to move. She approached with deliberate caution, feeling slightly wary._

"_Is it really you?" she asked, poking his flank with her tail experimentally. "What happened? Were you all attacked again? Is everyone alright?"_

"_It's me. And yes, we were attacked. Everyone is alive – so to speak – but I was injured." His voice had a weary rasp to it that had not been present the last time they had spoken, and she felt a prickle of anxiety._

"_How badly?"_

"_Badly enough that time is now of the essence," he replied. "I'll begin to fade when I sleep soon enough...but we should still be able to reach the Pool in time, so do not fret about that. All it means is that our meetings will be...different."_

_She wanted to comfort him with the brush of her tail or a touch with her nose, but she still didn't dare. "Change how?"_

"_We'll have to see. Tonight – or this morning, I suppose, since it's dawn for you – will be an experiment to see if this works out better for us. Bringing you to the Dark Forest is too dangerous now."_

"_Dangerous? Why?" Her ears flattened. "I-I'm not the reason you all are getting attacked, am I?"_

"_I told you before that other cats would sense you," Chillpaw meowed. "You can't see it yourself, not yet, but the living have a certain...glow around them. That glow becomes brighter the darker it gets, and where we're going it gets darker with each step. Your glow calls the attention of the other cats dwelling in the shadows, even if they don't know what it means. And the glow hangs around for some time even when you are gone; it clings to us, and thus it attracts more enemies. You cannot meet with us, or at least not for as long as you have been doing._

"_Which is why we're here. This is the same manner by which I contacted you before, those first times, although our connection is stronger now, with Moonpaw's help."_

_Sootpaw looked to Moonpaw, who gave an affirmative nod. "Okay...well then...are we in my dream, or yours? Or are we even dreaming at all?"_

_Chillpaw's whiskers twitched. "An interesting question. I'm not sure I could tell you the answer; the spiritual facts are muddled at best. The simplest way to put it would be that I am currently within your mind...but this is _our _dream. Moonpaw acts as the link between us, and Blight is the anchor that links my spirit back to the Dark Forest, so that I may return there when you wake."_

"_That makes sense, I guess..." Sootpaw shivered as the mist brushed over her fur. "By meeting here, you won't catch my glow or whatever, right? But does this tire you out? I know you all have this lifeforce stuff that keeps you 'alive.' Does walking between my dreams and the Dark Forest drain you?"_

"_Mentally, yes...it's quite tiring to pass through the 'walls' to reach you. But spiritually – or physically, they're one and the same for me now – it actually helps me to conserve energy. The laws operate differently in dreams than in the Dark Forest, which is to our advantage, I believe._

"_I want to see how we can make the dream change, mainly, and whether or not it would be practical to bring the cats you must speak with – Brightstar is next – here instead of bringing you to the Dark Forest."_

_Sootpaw swallowed. "Okay. I suppose that all makes sense. So, um, what do we do now?"_

"_We make the dream change," he answered, and then cocked his head to the side, watching her. She was unnerved by his stare, but didn't know what else to do. _

"_Close your eyes," he said. She was startled by the order, but did so obediently, biting her bottom lip with anxiety. She knew that Chillpaw wouldn't try to hurt her, but she was scared of what he might dream up, especially considering the dreams that he had first presented to her so many moons ago._

_She sucked in a sharp breath as icy cold suddenly battered her fur; her paws felt strangely wet and frozen at the same time. She began to tremble, her mind coming up with dozens of terrifying scenarios. She nearly sprang out of her fur when she felt his tail touch her flank._

"_Open your eyes."_

_She did so, and then let out a gasp of astonishment._

_They were in a meadow, one that she recognized from her many romps with Moonpaw, but she had never seen it like this. The entire meadow was covered with a fluffy white blanket, as if the clouds themselves had descended and draped themselves over the grass. Tilting her head back, her eyes widened as she saw that the sky was obscured by more thick, gray clouds. Falling from the heavens were strange white flecks. As she watched, the flecks grew in size, until each one was almost the size of her nose._

"_What-" she started to say, only to let out a mewl of delight as one of the flakes landed on her nose. A chill ran through her as it melted, but it was not an unpleasant sensation. Looking down, she saw that her paws were covered by the thick white material._

"_You said before that you wanted snow," Chillpaw said. She looked to him, her yellow eyes wide and round. His face was as expressionless as ever, but she thought she detected the smallest possible smile._

"_It's beautiful," Sootpaw whispered, craning her neck back to gaze up at the softly falling snowflakes. She opened her mouth, stretching out her tongue as Ravenwing had told her, and let out a purr of pleasure as a fat snowflake landed right on the edge. Sootpaw savored the sensation as the snowflake melted away, and the turned to Chillpaw with a grin. She moved forward and pressed her nose against his shoulder._

"_Thank you," she mewed, and Chillpaw nodded._

"_Just an experiment," he said, glancing up at the sky. "I don't think I got the falling flakes exactly right, they're probably too big, but it'll do."_

"_Is this a memory, like the other dream was?" Sootpaw asked with wonder, trying to catch another snowflake on her tongue._

"_Sort of. Lion took me to the top of a mountain once, where the snow capped the peak...and there was a small flurry later. It didn't reach Twolegplace or the forest, but it gave our land a nice frosting for a few days."_

_Sootpaw blinked. For a moment, she had forgotten that Chillpaw had been raised by Lion, the huge tom that had tried to destroy the Clans. "Do...do you miss him?"_

_Chillpaw chuckled, but it was a low, bitter sound. "I don't know if I have the capacity to miss anyone, but if there was anyone that I would...yes, it would be him. He was the closest to a father that I had...for most toms, that's a very important thing."_

"_For most toms...but not for you?"_

_He fixed her with his sharp gaze. "If you haven't figured out that I'm not like most toms, then you simply haven't been paying attention."_

"_Of course you're not like most toms. You killed your leader," she blurted, then flattened her ears and shrank back. She still couldn't read his expression; it didn't seem to change at all._

"_Yes. I did. Does that still make you uncomfortable?"_

"_How could it not? She's my leader too, for StarClan's sake! You messed her up for moons, and she's still not the same! She's sick because of you. You and Lion and all those other cats are the reason we're on this terrible journey in the first place!" Frustration welled up inside of her and seemed to flood her words, but she didn't try to bite them back._

"_It's not time yet for me to explain myself to you." Chillpaw's words were as cold as the frost pluming in front of his face. "There are pieces to this that you don't have yet. You can't put it together now. You must wait."_

"_Maybe I'm tired of just waiting without knowing what's going on. Maybe I'm tired of being dragged around by you and the others. I was worried about you, and you made this and it's so beautiful...and then you had to go and bring all of this up, and it..." She shook her head, and turned away, choosing to gaze at the white blanket instead of his piercing eyes._

_Chillpaw was quiet for a long moment. Then, her pelt prickled uncomfortably as he touched her side with his tail. "Sootpaw. Forgive me."_

_She looked at him over her shoulder, but said nothing. Chillpaw stared into her eyes for a moment, before his gaze darted back up towards the sky._

"_Forgive me," he said again. "I know that I have pressed you too far several times now. I like to think that I am fairly good at gauging how others will react to what I say, but it doesn't always work out how I would like."_

_She still said nothing, and he still did not look at her. "Bringing up my leader means very little to me, but I understand that it means much more to those loyal to her. I should have been more sympathetic. You are correct when you said that my actions, along with Lion's, are what brought you to this point in your journey. Rainwind would not have died, were it not for us."_

_Sootpaw stared at him, but he was still watching the sky. For some reason, this infuriated her. "Just look me in the eye, would you?" Her words came out louder than she had intended._

_His eyes immediately darted to hers, and he looked almost surprised. "Most cats are made uncomfortable by my stare. I did not wish to make you feel uncomfortable, is all."_

_She wasn't sure how to feel about his words. "What did you mean when you said you were...different? I mean, there's something weird about you, but I can't quite..."_

"_I'm surprised you haven't asked around, to be honest. Most cats would have, by now. Perhaps you were frightened of what you might find?"_

_She glanced down at her paws, not wanting to let him now how right he was, but she had the feeling that he knew anyway._

"_To put it simply, there is something wrong with me," he meowed. "Other cats mill about under the influence of their emotions; they have their greed and their envy and their passion and their pride and their rage and their longing for comfort and safety and a full belly. They have desires to protect those they care about, as well as themselves. They want to fall in love and destroy their enemies and gain the respect of others. They're caught up in this tempest of emotions and influences that they do not understand...and I stand just outside of it all, watching and noting how they behave without being able to do so myself. Does that make it clearer?" He paused to gauge her expression, then shook his head. "No, I suppose not. It's a strange concept to grasp, I suppose. Let's see..._

"_One of the cats with you died last night. You feel sorrow because he is gone. You liked him because of his kindness and his ability to smooth over conflicts and reassure you. You feel guilty because you believe that it was your fault. You wish that you could tell him you're sorry and make it up to him somehow. You feel determined to share your dreams with Bluepaw so that nothing happens to any of your other Clanmates. If I was in your position, I would feel none of these things."_

"_So you...you don't feel anything at all?"_

"_There have been...a few exceptions, a few instances that gave me something akin to hope...but they vanished as quickly as they came and only left me shaking my head at my foolishness," he said. _

"_So then, when you killed Silverstar...you didn't feel anything? Not even the slightest bit of guilt or remorse? And what about when Lion died? Did you feel anything then?"_

_His eyes clouded over for a moment. "A few instances, as I said. A few, fleeting, remarkable instances..." He trailed off, and there almost seemed to be a wistful note to his voice._

_Sootpaw rasped her tongue over her muzzle, trying to think. "But do...do you want to?"_

"_Wanting gets you nowhere," he said. "Because my vision is not clouded by such things like yours is, I have perfect clarity with every issue. I cannot be tricked, diverted, or distracted. I cannot be deterred by silly desires and wants. In a way, it's a preferable state."_

"_But you can't quite understand those of us that do feel those things. That's what you said earlier," she meowed, seizing upon the idea. "But then...I don't understand. Why did you kill Silverstar if you didn't feel the need to? Didn't you know that the Clan would kill you?"_

"_It's not time," he said again. "You'll have to wait. It'll become clear soon enough."_

_She cocked her head to the side, then glanced down at the snow as a mischievous thought occurred to her. "So...if someone was to perhaps throw something at you...would you be angry?"_

_Chillpaw blinked. "I believe I just answered that question—" His words broke off into a sputter as Sootpaw threw up a pawful of snow, sending the frozen rain flying all over his face. She grinned at him and tensed, ready to spring away if he pounced after her like her brother would have done. Instead, he wiped the snow off of his muzzle with one paw and stared at her._

_She giggled. "Come on, aren't you going to do it back?"_

_He shook his head back and forth, sending more clumps of snow flying in all directions. "I don't see the point in it, to be honest."_

"_Because it's _fun._ Can't you pretend to have fun?" She crouched, wiggling her tail from side to side. Chillpaw simply watched her, looking disinterested. She threw another pawful of snow in his direction, but he avoided most of it by moving to the side. "Come on, just try it!"_

_He glanced down at the snow, then scuffed at it with his paw halfheartedly. A few lumps of nose landed at Sootpaw's paws. She rolled her eyes at him. "Nice, but try a little harder."_

"_Wasting energy in the Dark Forest is frowned upon," he meowed. "And playing has never appeared to me."_

"_But you're not in the Dark Forest right now, and what else are we going to do in the snow?" she asked, rolling onto her back and blinking at him. He looked down at her, then towards the edge of the meadow._

"_I actually had some things that I was planning on doing," he said, before turning away from her. She rolled back onto her stomach and scrambled to her paws._

"_Well, forget those things! You need to lighten up a little bit, don't you think? Being in the Dark Forest all the time with those gloomy cats isn't doing you any good." She smiled at him. She wasn't sure why her mood had turned back to cheeriness. Perhaps it was because she couldn't stay angry with the beauty of the snow, or perhaps it was because of the scrap of sympathy she had for Chillpaw. She couldn't fathom being so _frozen _inside, unable to connect with others or relate to them._

"_Come on," she wheedled. "You said things worked differently here. We've got plenty of time...and I need something nice to think about, instead of...you know."_

_Chillpaw gave a weary sigh. "Fine."_

_Sootpaw yelped as the icy snow stung her muzzle; she sprang back, shaking her head to try and clear it out of her eyes, only to meow as more of the snow thudded against her flank and chest._

"_No fair, no fair!" she exclaimed. "I wasn't ready!"_

_She managed to get the snow out of her eyes, but knowing that confronting Chillpaw would be pointless, she instead turned and fled into the trees. She paused for only an instant to make sure that he was following, and listened for the sounds of his paws crunching over the snow. Then, she craned her neck back to look at the surrounding trees. She grinned to herself as she selected a large oak whose branches were heavy with snows. Filled with the sort of confidence only available in dreams, she scaled the tree with ease and perched on one of the snow-heaviest branches, waiting for Chillpaw to appear._

_It was difficult to make out his form from above, since his fur seemed to melt perfectly into the snow and she couldn't see his eyes. She could only barely make out his shape as he trotted over the fluffy snow._

_He paused for a moment, and she winced as she realized that he was looking at her tracks, which of course led to the foot of the oak tree. He tilted his head to look up at her, his blue eyes shockingly bright against the snow._

"_No fair!" she cried again. "Move a little to the right, would you?"_

_She couldn't quite tell because of the height difference between them, but she thought he almost looked amused. "You're the one who wanted to play. I expected more of you."_

"_I just wasn't thinking, shut up," she laughed, and sprang down from her perch, moving from branch to branch with practiced ease. "Close your eyes and we'll try it again, okay?"_

_Chillpaw rolled his eyes. "Yes, I will close my eyes in the middle of a snow-fight that you initiated. Splendid plan."_

"_Fine then, just wait here a moment so that I can get a head start, okay?"_

_She dashed away without waiting for his answer, weaving through the trees and smiling as a plan occurred to her._

Moonpaw? _She thought. Immediately, she felt teeth nip her tail and saw her friend running alongside her._

Alright, Moonpaw, let's make this interesting. You can sort of control the dream, right?

"_Of course," Moonpaw grinned, her blue eyes glittering with excitement._

Alright. Make my paw prints disappear, okay? I'll go up a tree and you'll keep running so he only sees one set of tracks and will think I kept going. Okay?

"_You got it, boss!" Moonpaw chirped. When Sootpaw looked over her shoulder, she let out a low purr as she saw only one set of tracks dotting the snow. She swerved and sprang up into the nearest tree, scaling its branches as Moonpaw continued to run. The black apprentice disappeared into the forest, and Sootpaw crouched upon her new branch, her tail twitching from side to side._

_Chillpaw approached, and Sootpaw grinned to herself at the leisurely way he was walking; he had one eye on her tracks and the other over his shoulder, as if she might try to circle around and attack._

_Then, when he was a few trees away from her, he stopped and looked up at the tree above him. He frowned up at it, before flicking his icy gaze to the next._

Cheater, _she thought with an amused purr. _Guess I'll have to improvise. Moonpaw, you there?

"_Chillpaw!" she heard Moonpaw yowl; it sounded like the black apprentice was only a few fox-lengths away. Chillpaw's head whipped back to look in the direction of her voice, and Sootpaw seized the moment to leap from her perch to the next tree over. The gap between her branch and the next was at least two fox-lengths, but Sootpaw flew over the empty space without fear. The branch groaned under the combined weight of her body and the snow, and dipped downwards. Sootpaw didn't pause, continuing to hop and climb like a squirrel until she was directly over Chillpaw's head._

"_Chillpaw!" Moonpaw exclaimed again to distract him. Sootpaw reached towards the end of her limb and pushed it down, sending an enormous clump of stone sliding off of the end and right on top of Chillpaw._

_Sootpaw let out a peal of laughter; the white tom was completely covered in the mound for only a moment, but when he struggled to lift his head the snow clung to him. It blended in with his fur, making him look as though he had a ruffled, untidy mane._

_She was laughing so hard that she was having trouble keeping her balance. Chillpaw fought his way out of the new snowdrift that she had created, and craned his neck back to glare up at her._

_Sootpaw sucked in a deep breath, struggling to control her laughter as she scrambled down the tree. Moonpaw's laughter mingled with hers as the black apprentice appeared in the shadows of the trees, her blue eyes dancing._

_Chillpaw sneezed and ruffled his fur. "You got me. I hope you're happy."_

"_I am," Sootpaw purred, reaching out with one paw to brush some of the snow off of his nose. Chillpaw shook his head, sending more snow sliding off of his fur to clump on the ground._

"_You should have seen your face!" she crowed. "The terrifyingly icy Chillpaw, covered by a mountain of snow!"_

"_I'm sure you found it very amusing," he meowed, pushing some clinging snow off of his ear. Bits of ice still clung to his whiskers and fur, giving him an almost crystallized appearance._

"_I think I won—" she started to say, only to freeze she saw a large golden shape in the distance. At first, it was only a strange blob, but as she watched it began to take shape, materializing into what she first thought was a lion. The tom's form flickered like that of a flame, and she could see through him to the trees beyond, but that did little to still the fear stirring in her heart._

"_Chillpaw," she whispered. Chillpaw glanced at her before turning around and facing the golden tom. Their eyes locked for only an instant, before the shimmering shape melted into nothing._

_A tremor ran through Sootpaw's legs, and without meaning to she leaned against Chillpaw. His eyes slid to hers once more; she couldn't read his expression._

"_Th-that was...he was..."_

"_It was only the ghost of a memory," he said, his voice whisper-soft. "It couldn't hurt you."_

"_But he was—you didn't—I thought you said you could control the dream!" Her golden eyes were wide with fear as she stared up at him. The tom might have been only a memory, but he had been the memory of the cat that killed her leader, as well as countless others._

_Chillpaw looked away from her, his eyes flicking back to where the golden form had been. "He was connected to the memory that I used to create these scene." His voice was still quiet, as soft as the snowflakes falling around their ears. "What I do – controlling the dream – is called lucid dreaming. When you dream, normally it is your emotions that control your perceptions...when you wake, you might remember a few instances of the dream, but it is the _feeling _of what you saw that stays with you._

"_When you have a nightmare, it is the fear that you remember when you wake, not what the nightmare was about. Or so I've been told._

"_I don't have the same troubles as most cats. I do not have the feelings to cloud my perceptions, the emotions to burden me and hide the details. So I can bend the dream to my will, however I choose, so long as the connection between us remains strong." He raised his head, staring up at the misty gray sky._

_Something clicked for Sootpaw. "So if he was here, and you didn't mean for him to be...it's because you were feeling something. Something for him. You...cared for him."_

_Chillpaw's ears flattened. "If there was ever anyone...it would have been him, yes."_

_Sootpaw was silent, but it was as if Chillpaw could sense her questions. He smiled, but it was a smile that was completely devoid of anything resembling amusement._

"_You're wondering how I could feel anything towards someone like him," he meowed. "He was consumed by hatred and rage, lost in his world of pain and grief...I can no more explain my feelings than you could explain why you love your parents or your brother, or why you are loyal to Silverstar, or why you are friends with Bluepaw. There are some things that cannot be fully understood or explained." His gaze returned to the spot where the memory had stood._

_She felt a sudden flood of sympathy for Chillpaw, as strange as it seemed. The experience of loss and pain she was feeling from Rainwind's death could not possibly be as severe as what Chillpaw had suffered when Lion – his father, the cat who had saved him and raised him – and she had at least had some inkling of what such things felt like and meant before it had happened. Chillpaw was like a kit to her, in some respects; he had never felt loss or pain until Lion had died. Such emotions had been alien to him; how could he possibly have been expected to cope with what he did not understand?_

_She pressed her nose against his shoulder. "If you want to talk about...about missing him, and stuff like that, I'll listen."_

_His eyes darted towards her, and she thought she saw the gleam of surprise in their icy depths. "Is that so?"_

_She nodded, and to her surprise he sat down, wrapping his tail around his paws. She did the same, shivering as her fur tingled with the touch of the icy snow._

"_I might take you up on that offer, when the time comes for us to truly talk," he said. "Now is too soon for us to begin. But I do appreciate the offer."_

_She laughed quietly. "You're always so formal, like I'm older than you or something. You're older than me by a good six moons, you know that?"_

"_Not for long. I don't age now, but you still do. I'll stay this old until I either die or am reborn. Hopefully you will surpass me."_

"So _formal," she repeated, a teasing note in her voice. "I just dumped a mountain of snow on your head, Chillpaw. You can't pretend to be dignified anymore."_

_He tilted his head slightly as he watched her. "If you like, I could fall into a more colloquial way of speaking, like your friend Rook. But I do not pretend. The way I speak is simply the way I am; I have no reason to hide behind false pretenses."_

"_I suppose not," she said, then smiled up at the sky. "It really is beautiful, Chillpaw. It's one of the best dreams I've ever had, I think, even with...well, you know."_

"_I'm glad."_

_She blinked at him, puzzled, and he smiled. "It was a joke, to help set you at ease," he explained. "The joke is that I do not feel—" _

_She stifled a giggle. "I get it. You're not that good at telling jokes, though, I'm sorry to say." _

"_No, I suppose not." He let out a quiet sigh. "Blight has been insisting that I should learn – he says that my personality makes you uncomfortable and less likely to help us. He was the one that said my eyes made you uncomfortable, which I already knew."_

_She shivered at the thought of the one-eyed tom. "Blight is way creepier than you. I wouldn't take his advice." She turned to him with a slight smile, blinking into his blue eyes. "Besides, I think your eyes are kind of pretty. There are lots of blue-eyed cats in the Clan, but none of theirs are quite like yours."_

_Chillpaw's ears pricked, and he seemed surprised. "You do?"_

_She nodded, and he said, "Thank you," looking almost pleased._

_She shivered again, this time from the cold._

"_I can make it warmer, if you would like," he offered. "The cold and the snow aren't mutually exclusive."_

"_No, no, it's fine," she mewed. "Snow wouldn't really be snow without the frost nipping your nose, right?"_

"_I suppose not."_

_It was quiet between them again for another long, drawn-out moment; her eyes traced his white form, and she felt another prickle of sympathy as she saw that he was still staring where the memory had appeared and then disappeared._

He's so alone, _she thought. _He was alone in TalonClan, in AshClan, and now in the Dark Forest.

_Without quite knowing why, she inched closer to him until their pelts were touching. His head turned towards her quickly, but he said nothing, and neither did she._

_The snowflakes continued to fall, covering their pawprints and bodies in a soft blanket of crisp white, whiter even than the icy tom's fur._

**AN: This chappy is my Christmas present to Shimmer! It turned out a lot longer than I intended. She's writing a one-shot for me, so you guys should be able to check it out soon. ^^**

**Hope you all have merry Christmases/Happy Holidays, if I don't update again before Christmas. ^^**

**Also, I really wish it would snow here. ;^;**


	34. C h a p t e r 33

**C _h a p t e r _33**

He opened his sleep-encrusted eyes and let out a low groan. His muscles were aching with fatigue, and his paws felt as heavy as stones. He rolled onto his side and stretched, trying to loosen up, but it didn't make him feel much better.

_I don't have much time to waste though, _he thought. _I've got to spar again with Leopardpaw. _

He let out a low grunt and rose to his paws, giving his head a little shake in an attempt to wake himself up. Instead, it only made his nose sting where Leopardpaw had slashed it the day before.

_Her nose is going to be hurting too, whether she likes it or not, and she's probably sore as well, _he thought as he padded towards the entrance of the den. He gazed over the camp, flicking his eyes from cat to cat, looking for Leopardpaw's dappled pelt. He twitched his nose with irritation as he did not see her, and headed instead for the fresh-kill pile.

He selected a pigeon, then swiveled one ear around as he picked up the sound of voices. He could hear Fireblaze's boisterous laughter – it made his whiskers want to curl – and the soft footfalls of Leopardpaw. He ignored them, picking up the pigeon and retreating to the corner of camp. He curled up with the dead bird between his paws and began plucking the feathers off, waiting for the ginger tom and dappled apprentice to seperate.

His green eyes flicked up in time to see Leopardpaw standing over the prey pile debating what to eat; he flicked his tail and her eyes darted towards him. A small smile curled over her muzzle, and he felt the sting of irritation as he realized that she had not gone to Shimmerfrost for treatment of the scratches on her face.

_She probably thinks it makes her look tough, _he thought, and his eyes narrowed.

Fireblaze said something to Leopardpaw; she gave him an amused look over her shoulder and flicked her tail against his muzzle before sauntering towards Spiderpaw.

"I thought we could share," he said, pushing the pigeon towards her. She stared down at the bird for a moment, her tail twitching from side to side, before she chuckled.

"Your attempt of winning me over?" she asked as she took a bite. "Jealous that I'm spending time with Fireblaze? Do you still want me on your 'side' or whatever you called it?"

"This isn't about that," he snapped. "I don't give a mousetail whether you and Fireblaze are friends or not. I just want to spar again with you today."

She tilted her head to the side. "This is almost the exact opposite of a conversation we had earlier. Uncanny. Well, Spiderkit, as delightful as yesterday was, I really have no interest in facing you again. You're hardly a challenge at all. A few well-placed words, some quick footwork, and you're down and out."

"You're forgetting yesterday, then," he growled, giving her nose a tap with his paw, right where he had scratched her the day before. He felt a prickle of pleasure as she winced.

"Luck," she retorted. "A few moments of clarity in your mind gave you a small opening for victory. But you still didn't win, now did you? It wasn't even a stalemate. You've got nothing that I need, little Spiderkit. Why would I want to waste my valuable time sparring with you?"

He regarded her with suspicion; she was quite plainly saying no, but there was something in her eyes that made him suspect that there was something more that he wasn't seeing, something that she was waiting for.

"What do you want?" he said finally. "Are you asking for a favor in return for sparring against me, or something?"

Leopardpaw grinned, looking delighted. "I didn't think you'd ever catch on. Yes, there is something I want, Spiderkit, something that only someone as foolish as you could give me." She grinned at him, but gave him no request, and he found himself becoming more annoyed with every second that passed.

"What do you want?" he said again, a growl in his voice.

Leopardpaw's eyes slid back to Fireblaze, and Spiderpaw followed her gaze to find that the ginger tom was glaring at the two of them as he pulled a vole apart with his strong jaws. Spiderpaw's eyes darted back to Leopardpaw, and she gave him a lazy smile.

"You want me to make him angry, or what?"

"That will be a byproduct, yes," she purred. "I want you to tell him what you and Blackpaw are up to."

His eyes widened, and she let out a low laugh. "Oh, you really are a foolish thing, Spiderpaw. Just because you don't see anyone doesn't mean you have the darkness to yourself. I've spied on you a few times, I admit. Your most recent training session was quite interesting; imagine a cat like you getting his tail kicked by feeble little Blackpaw. I was quite surprised."

Spiderpaw's fur bristled and he let out a low hiss. "You had no right to spy on us, and I don't have to make deals like this with you. What Blackpaw does is none of her brother's business."

"Perhaps not," she replied, "but I would _so _love to see Fireblaze's reaction, wouldn't you? He's angry just seeing _us _together. Imagine what he'd be like if he found out you and his dear, pathetic, precious sister were spending long nights with one another..."

"It's not like that, and you know it!" Spiderpaw snarled, unsheathing his claws. He was ready to spring at her, when he heard a low cough from behind him. He glanced over his shoulder to see Jaggedclaw's single eye was fixed upon him. They stared at one another for a moment, before Jaggedclaw gave the smallest shake of his head.

"Well?"

Spiderpaw looked back to Leopardpaw, forcing himself to flatten his fur. "I'm telling you, it's none of his business."

"And I'm telling _you _that telling him is the only way you're going to get my help," she meowed. "To sweeten the deal a bit, our sparring won't be a one-time thing. I'll spar with you as many times as you like until you're made a warrior, so long as you promise to do this one thing. If Fireblaze lets you live long enough to spar with me again, that is."

His tail lashed from side to side with agitation. He glanced towards Fireblaze again and saw the burning anger in the ginger tom's amber eyes.

Then, something occurred to him. He had to struggle to restrain a smirk as he turned back to Leopardpaw. She was watching him, looking smug, then blinked with surprise as he smiled at her.

"We have a deal then," he meowed, and took the pigeon from her, wolfing down what remained of the bird. Leopardpaw blinked at him, looking almost suspicious herself, before smiling.

"Good, glad we've settled that," she purred. "Let me know when you're ready, Spiderkit."

She rose to her paws smoothly and padded away; Spiderpaw didn't bother turning his head to watch her go. Instead, he rose to his feet as well and headed for Jaggedclaw.

"You aren't even sparring her yet and you've already lost your temper today," Jaggedclaw observed. Spiderpaw rolled his eyes.

"You know how she is. Bothering makes her happy, and she does whatever she can to get under my fur."

"Like your enemies won't do the same?"

Spiderpaw flicked his tail with irritation. "Whatever. Leopardpaw and I made a deal, so I'm ready to go if you are."

Jaggedclaw tilted his head to the side. "What sort of deal? Who gets the better end?"

Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched. "Don't worry about it."

Jaggedclaw shrugged his massive shoulders, then heaved himself to his paws. "We might as well not waste any time. Grab me something from the fresh-kill pile."

The scarred tom headed for the entrance of camp, and Spiderpaw hurried to grab him a mouse. Leopardpaw was already following the elder when Spiderpaw started after him; she shot him a smirk over her shoulder, but he thought of their deal and smiled.

_She has no idea what she's getting into. I'll be at the top of my game today...we'll see about hers._

He trailed the two cats to the Moss Clearing. Jaggedclaw took his usual spot on the edge, lying down in the well-padded moss. Leopardpaw strolled to the center of the clearing and turned to Spiderpaw, grinning with what was obviously a challenge in her eyes.

Spiderpaw faced her, his tail sweeping from side to side. _Got to keep my cool today. I want to learn more about Jaggedclaw's past, and this might be my only opportunity. I can't let her mess with my head and get under my fur._

_It's my turn for that._

They were motionless for several moments, simply facing one another. Spiderpaw knew Leopardpaw was trying to lull him into a false sense of security, and he tried to remain on his guard, but he was still tired from the night before. Training so fiercely during the day and getting little rest during the night was wearing on him.

_She can't be so fresh either, since she never seems to be in her nest like she should be, _he realized. _We might be on equal footing, for the moment._

"Aren't you going to make a move, Spiderkit?" Leopardpaw purred. "It was your idea to come out here in the first place, I believe. I'd hate for you to have struck a deal just to stand around and stare at me...although I'm sure the view is pleasing."

Spiderpaw smirked. "She-cats first."

Leopardpaw gave an easy shrug. "Have it your way, then. Makes no difference to me. Sparring with you is like a game, little Spiderkit, one that I am always destined to win."

He gave an exaggerated roll of his green eyes. "Do you taunt your enemies in battle like this too?"

"I enjoy dazzling lesser cats with my wit and good looks, what can I say?" Leopardpaw smiled, her white fangs gleaming in the morning light. Spiderpaw twitched his tail with impatience, but Leopardpaw still didn't move. She had shifted her strategy from trying to make him relax to trying to make him tense by drawing out the beginning to their battle.

Then, the golden apprentice struck, lunging at him as quickly as lightning. Spiderpaw managed to dodge to the right, barely avoiding her thorn-sharp claws. She laughed and turned, springing at him again. He again moved to the right and she missed him once more, but this time it was by no more than a whisker's width. He felt a rush of wind as her claws scraped the air where his shoulder had been moments before, and swallowed. This was no time to be like Blackpaw, hopping and dodging like a fluttering bird. He had to head Leopardpaw off before she overwhelmed him. He liked to play with her prey, that much he knew, but he also knew that she wasn't used to her prey playing back.

When she sprang at him again, he didn't move to the side. Instead, he sprang upwards, seeing her dappled pelt rush beneath him. He had hoped to land on her back, but Leopardpaw hadn't stopped her charge when she realized he was out of her grasp, and when he landed his paws only touched moss.

Leopardpaw's leaf-green eyes gleamed brightly as she turned to face him. His own glittered back, devoid of fear or anger. For once, his head felt clear.

"Don't just stand there, Spiderkit, you might get hurt," Leopardpaw meowed before lunging again. She feinted to the right before striking at his left side. He twisted out of her grasp but the moment unbalanced him, and he barely managed to move out of the way of her second strike without tumbling to the ground.

"Someone's sleepy," she observed, circling him like a predator around prey. Spiderpaw moved with her, his eyes flitting over her sleek pelt and bright eyes.

"How's your nose?" he retorted. "Looks like it's stinging to me. Guess your face isn't as pretty anymore. What a pity."

Leopardpaw laughed; there still was no anger in her voice or an edge in her ringing crow. She obviously had a thicker skin than he did, but he was certain it wasn't entirely impenetrable,and he had a plan to crack her armor.

He and Leopardpaw moved together at the same time, scoring slashes down each others shoulders, and after that the battle became much wilder. It had started off slow, but the tempo slowly rose until the two of them were dodging and leaping and twisting without more than a few second's thought. It became more of a clash of claws than jeers or insults, and Spiderpaw felt the tiniest amount of satisfaction as Leopardpaw's expression changed from light disinterest to deepened concentration.

The battle slowed for a moment as they broke apart and stared at one another, panting. Leopardpaw had managed to slice into his shoulder again and had nicked his chest, but Spiderpaw had given as good as he got; he had struck the side of her face with a glancing blow, and had managed to slash her left flank.

"So much for winning this game," Spiderpaw meowed. "Looks more like a stalemate to me."

"Not for long," Leopardpaw purred as she threw herself towards him. She was moving faster than he had expected, and he only had a brief moment to react. Instinctively he moved to the right, but realized a second too late that it was the wrong move. Leopardpaw had been feinting, and had somehow predicted his move. He crashed to the ground with the dappled apprentice on top of him, landing on his stomach.

She hissed in his ear as she swiped her claws down his back. He tried to rise to her paws, but she was pinning him down with her weight. He let out a grunt of pain as her claws pricked his shoulder, digging through his fur to grip his flesh.

"Guess I win," she whispered into his ear.

"Maybe," he growled back, "but it hasn't done you any good. I'm not talking to Fireblaze any time soon."

He winced as her claws dug even deeper into his shoulder. "Excuse me? I believe we had a deal."

Despite the pain, a smug grin crept over his face. "Oh, we do, And I'll heed our agreement, don't worry about that. The only question is _when. _You didn't specify that, Leopardpaw. I guess I could tell him right after this if I wanted to...or I could wait three moons, or three years. Maybe I'll tell him when we're both in StarClan, who knows?"

For a moment, Leopardpaw was perfectly still. Then, she let out a low growl, the kind he had never heard from her before, and sank her teeth into his ear, pulling back with destructive force. He let out a yowl as his neck was bent backwards.

"I don't like being cheated, Spiderkit," she said between clenched jaws. Spiderpaw tried to lash at her with his claws, but he couldn't reach without somehow flipping onto his back, a motion that would have been impossible even if she hadn't grabbed his ear.

Despite the pain, he couldn't help but feel a small spark of triumph; even if he lost this session, he had managed to get underneath Leopardpaw's pelt instead of the other way around. To him, that was a victory, even if it was small.

Her claws were clenching his shoulders with incredible strength as she continued to tug at his ear. He was certain that she wouldn't permanently damage it – Eaglestrike would certainly have something to say about that – but he wasn't quite sure how far she was willing to go. She obviously wanted him to submit, to say that he would go to Fireblaze soon, but Spiderpaw wasn't willing to give in. He wasn't going to be pushed around by any cat, least of all the dappled apprentice.

"Is using dirty tricks how you win your battles?" he said, biting back another pained yowl.

"Say it," she hissed to him. "Come on. You don't want to lose the ear, now do you? Just give in. Swallow that pride of yours. Admit, for once, that someone is actually better than you."

He felt her tremor of surprise as he chuckled. "You're better than me, Leopardpaw. I can't deny that. But you've also been training far longer than me – I'd say since before you came t o our Clan. So I don't feel too bad about losing. Not now, at least. When we're both warriors, we can battle without any sneaky tricks and see who is the better fighter. Anything until then is just practice. And if you have to cheat to win your practices, that's your problem."

"I don't have to cheat at anything, you little brat!" Leopardpaw snarled. She released his ear and shifted her weight only for an instance. Spiderpaw didn't know what he was intending, but he didn't care; for a brief moment she was no longer pinning him down, and he took the opportunity to roll to the side. Leopardpaw was on him once more almost immediately, but this time he was on his back, and he met her claws with his own.

He blocked her attempted slashing of his stomach and clawed her with his hind legs. Before he could stop it, Leopardpaw's paw pressed against his chest in the sore spot where she had struck it the day before. His breath caught, and she took advantage by flipping him onto his side and pinning him down.

He tried to twist out of her grasp, but her claws were holding him down, and he couldn't escape without at least losing several clumps of fur. He let out a low hiss, then went limp in her grasp. He could have tried to goad her, but there was no point; they were both tired, and an angry Leopardpaw was unpredictable.

She held him there for a moment longer, panting. "If you don't want to tell him now, that's fine. But you'd better watch your back, Spiderkit. You think you're clever, but I can work around this little setback by myself."

She released him, but he didn't rise to his feet. He heard her swift paws spring over the moss as she hopped away. Within moments, she was gone.

Spiderpaw took a minute to catch his breath before he dragged himself to his paws. He limped to Jaggedclaw; the older tom's face was unreadable.

"Happy?" Spiderpaw asked. "I kept my temper this time."

"Yes, and caused her to lose hers," Jaggedclaw replied, his eye sliding towards where Leopardpaw had disappeared. "You should be careful. She's more dangerous than Blizzardpaw, by far. Push her limits if you can, but don't go beyond them."

He flicked his tail dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, I'll be cautious. Are you going to tell me about Destiny now?"

"Is Leopardpaw going to remain your partner?"

His brow furrowed with irritation. "I don't know. We have a deal, so I think so. We'll just have to wait and see. Now, come on. Hold up your end of the deal."

Jaggedclaw remained quiet, and Spiderpaw's temper flared. "You aren't going to tell me, are you?" he demanded. "You didn't think I'd be able to do it."

"I was hoping that you would...but no, I didn't think you'd be able to, or at least not so quickly," the older tom admitted. "But I'll keep my word. If you want to hear about Destiny, then I'll tell you. Sit down; you're not going anywhere, and you sound exhausted."

Spiderpaw hesitated,, then decided to give into his cramping muscles. He sprawled onto his stomach, blinking at Jaggedclaw with bright eyes.

Jaggedclaw's whiskers twitched. "You look like a kit waiting to hear a tale from an elder. Don't seem so excited. It's not a very good story, and there's definitely not a happy ending."

"Not all elder's tales have happy endings."

"True enough. Well...let's start at the beginning, I suppose, or at least as far back as I'm willing to go, for the moment." Jaggedclaw shifted his weight slightly to make himself more comfortable, and pushed the remains of his mouse away. "When I was young, I met a she-cat named Myrtle. She was very beautiful; her fur was sleek and silver and her eyes were green and bright with mischief. Myrtle was quite a lively cat, always taking risks and going where she shouldn't. Her parents were rather overprotective because of this, and they didn't get along well.

"When we met, we were both long and foolish. We charged headlong into love, with little care or caution. It was at that age where we believed ourselves to be invincible, where we thought that nothing could hurt us...' Jaggedclaw's singe eye seemed oddly misty. "You're nearing that age yourself, I believe. Anyway, I was not a good-looking cat – I was already rather scarred, although not to the extent that I am not – nor did I come from a good background, nor did I have a stable life to offer Myrtle. I had a wandering soul, and so did she.

"Her parents were very much against the two of us being together when they found out, but there was little they could do. Myrtle would not listen to them. She did listen to her sister, however, who was named Destiny.

"Myrtle and Destiny were like night and day; Myrtle was adventurous whereas Destiny was cautious, and Myrtle was open and friendly while Destiny was quieter and more private. Destiny was exactly what her parents wanted in a daughter, but I think she might have been jealous of her older sister's more carefree life.

"Myrtle's parents ordered for Destiny to try and convince Myrtle to part ways with me. Myrtle would hear nothing of it, and the two of them had a terrible fight. Destiny was blinded in one eye. Myrtle's parents were furious and they cast her out. Destiny was equally angry, and refused to speak to her sister." As he spoke, he reached up with one paw and touched the fur just below his blinded eye; he didn't seem to realize that he was performing the motion, for his mind was clearly elsewhere.

"I wasn't pleased with what had happened, but I was happy to have Myrtle with me. Unfortunately, the tom that I was traveling with didn't like Myrtle any more than her parents liked me. He was convinced that it would end badly for the both of us. He was correct, but I wouldn't listen to him. We went our separate ways.

"And then it was just Myrtle and I together. For awhile, we were happy, but our happiness didn't last long. Myrtle was wild, wilder even than I. She was bold and brash and I loved her for that, but she was uncontrollable. We began to fight. It was over silly things – what we should eat, where we should sleep – and at first our disagreements were brief, but gradually the fighting escalated until we were yowling so loudly it seemed the very sky would crash down around us. The cats who had warned us were right, but we hadn't listened, and we were suffering for our folly.

"And yet we clung to one another, for we had nowhere else to go, and between the fighting there were brief lulls of happiness...happiness like nothing either of us had ever felt before. We were doomed from the beginning, she and I, but neither of us were willing to let go...until, one morning Myrtle told me she was with kits.

"I didn't know what to do. We were both too young to be parents, and neither one of us wanted to be tied down. We had heard there were herbs that would fix the problem but we didn't know them and it would be too dangerous to try and create a solution by ourselves. It made us both miserable, and as a result our battles grew even fiercer...until I struck her."

His ears were flat against his head. "It wasn't a harsh blow, and it was only against her shoulder...but it was strong enough to knock her down. She was up in an instant, it didn't cause her to pause at all, but I can't help but think perhaps what happened was my fault, in the end..."

"What was it that happened?" Spiderpaw whispered, although he already had a sinking feeling that he knew what was coming.

"Half a moon later, she kitted. Six hours after the kitting began, I buried her, my two sons, and my daughter." Jaggedclaw's voice was rough with pain. "I don't know what went wrong. I don't know if there was something wrong inside of her from the beginning, or if it was our travels, or if it was our fighting that messed it all up...but something went wrong. She lost too much blood, and she was in so much pain..."

Jaggedclaw bowed his head, and Spiderpaw hesitated, not knowing what to do. He couldn't truly help the scarred tom; nothing would take away the memories or the agony of losing his family, no matter how ill-suited the two cats had been for one another. Spiderpaw remained motionless, waiting for Jaggedclaw to compose himself, knowing very well that the elder didn't want his sympathy or pity.

"After Myrtle died, I had nowhere to go, so I returned to where she and her parents had once lived. Destiny was still there. She told me her parents had died. The tom that I was with was gone as well. I told her what had happened to Myrtle. At first she didn't believe me. She said that I was a liar and that Myrtle had simply gotten tired of me and left, but gradually she came to believe the truth. She still hated her sister, but loved her too...Destiny and I were alike in that regard. I had hoped to find a new direction with Destiny; wandering wasn't enough anymore, not without Myrtle. But Destiny disappeared one night, and when I woke up I was alone. I think she had been hoping that Myrtle would come back, but with her sister dead she didn't have anything to stay for.

"I never thought I'd see her again, and eventually I left the area in pursuit of something. What I was looking for, I wasn't exactly sure, but I found it with Reedrush. And then, during the battle against Lion's cats, I caught a glimpse of a one-eyed she-cat, and somehow I knew it was her. She recognized me too, I'm sure of it, and she fled rather than face me. I charged after her, right onto the Thunderpath, and...you know. The last thing I remember was the feeling of teeth against my scruff. Destiny pulled me over the Thunderpath after I was hit. I don't know why, and I don't know how – she wasn't very large or strong – but somehow she did. Somehow she saved my life. And then she left." His words rang with finality, and Spiderpaw knew the story was over. His heart was heavy, but his mind buzzed with questions – he wanted to ask Jaggedclaw who he had traveled with, why Destiny had been with Lion, why Destiny had risked her life to save him – but he bit back his inquiries. The story-telling had clearly taken something out of Jaggedclaw; he looked older than ever. His shoulders seemed to sag, and his eye appeared hollow, as if he was seeing some other half-remembered scene.

"Should we go back?" Spiderpaw asked quietly. Jaggedclaw's eye closed, and he rested his muzzle on his paws.

"You go," he said, his voice as soft as Spiderpaw had ever heard it. "I just need a little rest."

"I'll stay, if you don't mind," he meowed. "I'm tired too, and Petalcloud will probably put me to work as soon as I get into camp."

Jaggedclaw said nothing; gradually his breath slowed and grew deeper as the older tom slipped off to troubled sleep. Spiderpaw remained awake despite the weariness in his bones, watching over the scarred elder. It was the least he could do for a tom that had suffered without complaint.

_He's kept all of this inside for so long...that's why Reedrush and he fought, because of his secrets. To think that he would tell me and not her..._His ears flattened. _I'm not entirely sure what that means. I don't think he trusts me more than her...perhaps he's simply afraid of what she would think of him if she knew._

_He shouldn't be afraid. Reedrush would care for him no matter what he's been through...or at least I'd like to think so._

His green gaze flicked back to Jaggedclaw, and he copied the aged tom, resting his muzzle on his paws as the sun inched through the sky above their heads.

. . .

Jaggedclaw didn't wake until much later. It was nearly evening by the time he and Spiderpaw returned to camp. Jaggedclaw didn't speak a word on the way back, and as soon as he pulled himself through the camp entrance he headed for his den. Spiderpaw paused, knowing that he didn't want company, and looked towards the nursery to see if Robinpaw was up and moving. He didn't spot her, and he frowned.

_Guess I'll eat by myself then, _he thought. Spiderpaw padded towards the fresh-kill pile, bending down to sniff the various bodies in hopes of finding the freshest food.

He froze as a chill ran down his spine. He tilted his head to look behind him, and saw Leopardpaw watching him. Her emerald eyes gleamed with a harsh, sharp light. Then, she turned her head and flicked her tail to someone just out of Spiderpaw's sight. Turning his head further, his eyes narrowed as he realized it was Fireblaze.

The ginger tom padded towards the dappled apprentice with a swagger in his step. In his jaws was a large crow; Spiderpaw's lip curled, seeing how full of pride the fire-furred warrior was. Leopardpaw gave him an enchanting smile, and Fireblaze dropped the crow at her paws.

Spiderpaw turned away from them and selected a vole from the pile, before trotting to the edge of camp, intending to eat by himself. He fixed the two troublemakers with his gaze as he chewed, wondering what Leopardpaw was up to.

_Something about our deal, probably, _he thought, his tail swishing from side to side. _She sure was angry when we parted ways..._He almost smiled at the memory, before his ears pricked as Leopardpaw looked towards him. He looked back down at his vole, hoping that she didn't realize he had been watching her, but something told him he wasn't quite fast enough. Flicking his gaze up again, he frowned as he met two pairs of eyes. Leopardpaw and Fireblaze were both staring at him with interest and anger, respectively. Leopardpaw gave him a lazy smile, before rolling her eyes back to Fireblaze. She said something quietly, and Fireblaze's fur bristled. Rage flickered in his eyes' amber depths as he stared at Spiderpaw.

_What's she telling him? _Spiderpaw thought suspiciously, before feeling a prickle of alarm as Fireblaze sprang to his paws. The ginger tom was more angry than Spiderpaw had ever seen him. His fur was bristling – his tail looked like a gigantic thistle – and his claws were unsheathed, shining harshly in the sunlight. He let out a low sound that seemed to come deep within his throat. And, behind him, sat Leopardpaw, looking pleased as her tail flicked from side to side.

His eyes widened with disbelief. _She told him!_

Fireblaze let out a hiss and suddenly dashed forward, charging at Spiderpaw. He was halfway across camp, so Spiderpaw had plenty of time to react and move to the side. He avoided Fireblaze easily, looking over his shoulder to Leopardpaw, fury crackling over his pelt. He could only spear her with his glare for a few seconds, however; Fireblaze was turning for another attack.

"What did she tell you?" Spiderpaw hissed to Fireblaze. "She's probably lying."

"Shut up!" Fireblaze snarled, his thick tail lashing. "I told you to stay away from her! I warned you! You think you can do anything because you're the deputy's son—"

"My dad has nothing to do with any of this, and you know it!" Spiderpaw spat back, feeling his anger and frustration mount. He was just so _sick _of having to constantly be on guard, to always be looking over his shoulder to make sure the ginger tom wasn't watching. "How about you leave him out of this and just admit that you can't control your sister anymore! She doesn't have to look to you for approval."

He was aware that they were drawing a crowd now; he could see them hovering on the edge of his vision, looking anxious and afraid.

_Cowards, _he thought with venom. _They don't want to get in Fireblaze's way. No one does; he's too strong. Someone needs to knock him down a few branches, and if it has to be me, so be it. We should have settled this a long time ago._

He was distracted by a movement in his peripheral vision; he turned his head to see a black form slipping out of the nursery and hurrying towards them. The cat pushed past Redpaw, who was kneading his paws with excitement, and sprang inbetween the two toms.

"Blackpaw, get out of the way!" Fireblaze ordered, digging his claws into the dirt.

"Move, Blackpaw," Spiderpaw growled, "or you're going to get hurt."

Blackpaw looked between the two toms with wide golden eyes, but she didn't move; Fireblaze let out an angry snarl.

"Get over here," he demanded, signaling with his tail for her to move to his side. "I'm not angry with you, I know Spiderpaw probably forced you to go and train with him so he could-"

Blackpaw's ears were flat against her head as she looked between her brother and Spiderpaw. Then, she shook her head, her eyes glimmering with determination. "Spiderpaw didn't make me do anything. I mean, at first he was kind of forceful, but...after I was injured, I came to him and told him I wanted to continue the training. It was my choice, Fireblaze." She hesitated, swallowed, then meowed, "Spiderpaw and I are friends."

Fireblaze's eyes widened with complete and utter astonishment. His gaze darted from Blackpaw to Spiderpaw, and then back to his sister. It was all Spiderpaw could do not to let out a derisive laugh at the bewildered expression on the warrior's face.

"_Friends?_" Fireblaze sputtered. For a moment, Spiderpaw dared to hope that Fireblaze's confusion would dull his anger, but the tom's eyes were as fiery as ever. "Blackpaw, get out of the way right now. I mean it. Let me handle this."

Blackpaw tensed, and Spiderpaw crouched, thinking that she was going to move towards her brother; instead, he stared with shock as she turned and came to stand in front of the black tom, still facing her brother. The fur around her shoulders was bristling, and her own tail was beginning to bush out.

"If you're going to fight Spiderpaw, you're going to fight me too!" she meowed. "Spiderpaw and I are friends. I mean it too, Fireblaze. When we were kits, I was glad that you wanted to protect me all the time...but now we're adults, you and I, and I have to be a warrior too. I have to take care of myself; I can't always hide behind you, not when my Clanmates are depending on me. Spiderpaw taught me that." She gave him a small smile over her shoulder, and then her golden eyes darkened. "And Birchpool did, too."

Fireblaze appeared completely flabbergasted now; he was frozen in place. Abruptly, the light in his eyes seemed to go out, like a snuffed candle, and he sheathed his claws. "Blackpaw..." His voice was soft, and he almost sounded like a kit. Spiderpaw felt what was nearly pity for the ginger tabby; protecting his sister had been Fireblaze's role his entire life, and it would be difficult for the ginger warrior to let go of that, if he ever did.

Blackpaw moved forward, and reached up to touch her brother's nose. "My Clanmates have to be able to depend on me. That means I have to be strong, for them as well as myself. I can't be your shadow anymore, Fireblaze."

Fireblaze rested his nose against his sister's for a long moment. Then, his eyes narrowed. "Then you'll get your training from me, Blackpaw. We'll train in the afternoons when you're feeling stronger. Spiderpaw doesn't need to be a part of that."

"I'm not going to train with you, and I'm only going to train with Spiderpaw one last time," Blackpaw announced. Fireblaze blinked, and his gaze quickly flicked to Spiderpaw, but the black tom was just as surprised. The lithe she-cat faced both of them.

"I want to try my assessment again," she meowed. "I feel like I'm ready. It's long overdue; I've been hiding from it for a long time, but I need to take this step."

The gathered cats parted, and Eaglestrike stepped forward. "Blackpaw, you're injured. You need time to rest before you try and become a warrior. It's a noble sentiment, but—"

She shook her head stubbornly. "No. I can't wait any longer than I already have. The Clan needs every warrior now. Every time I fight, I have to be fighting for two warriors instead of just one...I can't do that if I still think of myself as an apprentice. Please, Eaglestrike, give me this chance. Let me try the assessment tomorrow."

The deputy looked dubious; his mate came to touch his flank, and he looked down at her. Ravenwing rested her head against his shoulder, and spoke,

"Blackpaw isn't thinking clearly right now. I understand her desire to become a warrior, but she can't be the judge of whether or not she is ready. Only someone familiar with her style can be the judge of that." Her green gaze flicked to her son. "Reedrush isn't here, and only one other cat has been training her fiercely, according to what's been said here. Spiderpaw, do you think she is ready?"

Spiderpaw stared at his mother, surprised and honored to be consulted, before he looking to Blackpaw. Determination glittered in her golden eyes as she blinked back at him, but beneath it was vulnerability, and a silent plea. Spiderpaw thought of the night before, how fiercely Blackpaw had fought, and he smiled.

"Give me one more night of training with her, and she'll be ready. I swear it," he answered. Ravenwing smiled, and looked up to Eaglestrike; the gray tom watched Spiderpaw, before nodding.

"Fine. Blackpaw, your assessment will be tomorrow at sunhigh in the Moss Clearing. However, you will not be facing Spiderpaw; I think you would be too used to his style of fighting by now."

"I'd like to face Leopardpaw," Blackpaw mewed, and this time even Eaglestrike seemed visibly surprised. Spiderpaw's eyes darted to Leopardpaw, who appeared shocked at the turn of events. Spiderpaw smirked to himself; the dappled apprentice clearly hadn't envisioned a scenario in which Blackpaw was brave enough to intervene.

"She's been trying to turn Fireblaze against Spiderpaw for a long time now, and I'd like to put a stop to that," Blackpaw said, looking upon Leopardpaw without fear. Spiderpaw felt a glow of warmth in his heart, but he knew it was more than that. Leopardpaw was a proven fighter; if Blackpaw could best her, she would prove without a doubt that she deserved to be a warrior. No one, not even Fireblaze, could contest the result.

Eaglestrike looked over his shoulder at Leopardpaw. The dappled apprentice seemed to be trying to collect herself; her cool mask had slipped, revealing an expression of alarm. Then, Leopardpaw smiled, cloaking her anxieties with false confidence.

"I accept the challenge," she purred silkily, and Eaglestrike nodded.

"Alright. Blackpaw will face Leopardpaw tomorrow, at sunhigh, in the Moss Clearing," he said. "There's nothing more to see here, everyone. Go about your business."

He turned away, and as the crowd began to disperse, Blackpaw's face split in a bright smile. Spiderpaw rushed to her, ignoring Fireblaze. Blackpaw pressed her nose against his shoulder, and he felt the slight tremor in her legs.

"That was so scary...but I did it!" she whispered to him, trembling now with delight. "Did you see? I was so brave!"

Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched, but he forced himself to restrain his own excitement. "Yeah, and foolish too. Do you think you can beat Leopardpaw?"

Blackpaw drew away, anxiety flitting over her face. "I-I think so...do you?"

"No," he meowed, then smiled. "Not yet, at least. By the time the night's over, though, you'll be ready to knock her paws off."

Blackpaw grinned again, and pressed her face into his fur once more. "Thank you, Spiderpaw. Thank you so much."

Spiderpaw pressed his nose between her ears, before flicking his gaze up to Fireblaze, who was staring at the two of them with a mixture of befuddlement and something akin to sadness in his eyes. Spiderpaw had to restrain a grin; the ginger tom looked hopelessly lost.

Blackpaw pulled away from Spiderpaw, and turned towards her brother with a somewhat timid smile. "You aren't angry with me, are you?"

Fireblaze's gaze cleared. "With you? No, of course not. I couldn't be." He licked her ear, before giving Spiderpaw a glare. "But if you're going to spend the night training with him, you're going to eat with me."

Blackpaw rolled her eyes at Spiderpaw. "Guess I'll see you later then."

Fireblaze herded his sister towards towards the fresh-kill pile, murmuring something about her needing her strength for the next day. He gave Spiderpaw another look before the two of them went to eat near the edge of camp. He said nothing, but the message was clear: Spiderpaw was safe for the moment, but if Blackpaw didn't pass her assessment the next day, his life was forfeit.


	35. C h a p t e r 34

**C _h a p t e r _34**

Voices flitted over the edges of her consciousness, like the fingers of spiders tracing the back of her neck. She shifted, lifting her head up and blinking blearily. Hazy shapes appeared in her field of vision, growing more distinct with every blink.

"I found some poppy seeds," she heard Sage say, and there was the sound of him laying down a packet of leaves. "Sorry I couldn't find any last night...I think the ones you got before were some of the last. Most of the plants around here are dead."

Sootpaw rubbed her eyes with her paw and blinked once more, and Bluepaw's body finally distinguished itself from the surrounding fuzziness. The blue-gray apprentice had her back to the two of them; she was sorting herbs into piles, trying to create some sort of structure in the messy den.

"It's fine, Sage," she meowed without turning around. "Just place one next to Sootpaw for when she wakes up, and tell the others, would you? I probably need to see to some of them again."

"I think she's already awake," Sage meowed; his green eyes twinkled down at her, and Sootpaw smiled. "Did you sleep well?" He unwrapped the little packet of leaves and a few black seeds spilled out. He passed one to her.

"Yes, thank you," she purred, giving the seed a little sniff. She frowned – the seed smelled odd, not quite like the poppy seeds that she was used to. _Well, we _are_ in a different forest, I guess that makes sense._

Her shoulders were aching, but her stomach gave a quiet growl. She didn't want to fall asleep again before she ate.

"Hungry?" Sage asked. "I'll get you something while I tell the others that Bluepaw is ready for them. Anything in particular that you'd like?"

She shook her head. "Anything's fine. Thanks."

Sage dipped his sleek head to her before turning and leaving the entrance. Sootpaw glanced towards Bluepaw and found that the blue-gray apprentice was watching him go, before she returned her attention to her herbs.

Sootpaw yawned, her tongue curling as she stretched out her body, ignoring the twinges of pain running through her stiff limbs. Despite them, she felt an odd sense of contentment. There was a warm glow inside of her, deep in her chest, as if someone had lit a fire in her heart; it was a pleasant sensation, but a puzzling one.

She let out a low purr as she thought of the dream from the night before; she didn't quite have the words to describe the whirl of images and emotions that the dream brought up for her.

_I would have never thought that Chillpaw could be responsible for something so beautiful, _she thought, feeling almost wistful. _It's too bad I couldn't have stayed longer...he had to return back to that dim forest, the poor thing..._

_He's so strange, but somehow...I feel like I can understand him, at least a little bit. Is that a bad thing? I hope it doesn't mean I'm going to flip out and kill my leader. _Her whiskers twitched. _I guess he didn't really flip out, though..._

_I just wish I knew _why _he had done it. I thought it was revenge for Lion, but with his way of thinking about things, I don't see how it could be. He had to have known that his actions would result in his own death...so why did he do it? I can't imagine that he _wanted _to die..._

"Watcha thinking about?" Bluepaw asked, jolting Sootpaw out of her musings. "You've got a weird look on your face."

Sootpaw flicked her ear at her. "Nothing, I was just thinking about my dreams last night."

Bluepaw's ears pricked. "Dreams, huh? What sorts of dreams? Something about a nice young tom, perhaps...?"

Sootpaw flushed underneath her fur. "No, Bluepaw, no! Nothing like that, you mousebrain."

Bluepaw laughed, and Sootpaw laughed along with her; the gray apprentice felt lighter than she had in a long time. The journey had been bogging her down, but it was as if her dream of sparkling snow had revitalized her.

"You did say something odd before you fell asleep, though," Bluepaw mewed, tilting her head to the side. "You said you had something to tell me...?"

Sootpaw swallowed. "Yeah...I've been kind of hiding something for a long time now, and I think you might be the only one that can help," she said, then closed her mouth as Sage entered the den. He dropped a finch at her paws, before looking to Bluepaw.

"Anything else I can do for you?" he asked. Sootpaw took a bite of the finch, chewing slowly and savoring the taste. Her belly let out another eager gurgle.

Bluepaw surveyed her stash of herbs, and reached out for the poppy seeds. Finally, she shook her head. "No, I think I've got everything I need now. Thank you, Sage! I'll be sure to call for you if I need anymore help."

Sage nodded, before leaving the den. Sootpaw watched the white tom pad away, before she reached out for the poppy seed, pulling it closer to her so that it was right next to the finch. Bluepaw was staring down at the poppy seeds, looking puzzled, weighing them in her paw.

Sootpaw finished off her finch and was just about to eat the poppy seed when Bluepaw suddenly turned and swatted it away. Sootpaw blinked at her with bewilderment, but Bluepaw ignored her, hurrying to the entrance of the den and yowling for Sage. He appeared in moments, looking puzzled.

"Something wrong?" he asked, looking between the two of them.

"What are these?" Bluepaw hissed, shoving Sootpaw's poppy seed towards him. Sage stared down at it, then looked back up Bluepaw, clearly confused.

"A poppy seed, like I told you," he answered.

"Smell it!" she ordered. Sage shot Sootpaw a worried look, but she simply shrugged in reply; she had no idea what Bluepaw was doing. Sage obediently bent his head and sniffed the seed.

"What does it smell like?" Bluepaw demanded.

"Like...poppy seeds?"

"No! That's not what they smell like! Smell them again!"

Sootpaw was surprised that Sage didn't appear angry, despite Bluepaw's raised voice and bristling fur. "Bluepaw, forgive me, but I have no idea what you're talking about."

"They aren't poppy seeds!" Bluepaw exclaimed. "Where did you get them? What did the plant look like?"

"I told you, most of the plants around here are dead," he said. "I found the seeds scattered around some sort of dead plant, I couldn't tell what it was, but they look just like poppy seeds and they smell like them too...I don't understand, Bluepaw, what's wrong with them?"

Bluepaw shook her head. "They don't smell like poppy seeds. They smell different. Only a little bit, but it's important! Even I know these aren't poppy seeds. These seeds come from a foxglove plant."

Sage still looked confused. "Foxglove? What is that?"

Bluepaw blinked. "Don't you have them where you live? They're flowers, but tall and sort of purple..."

He frowned. "No, I've never seen such a plant on our territory, or heard of them, and Feather has taught me all the names of the plants in the forest."

Bluepaw's fur flattened. "Really? You've never heard of them?"

He shook his head. "No. Never. I swear, Bluepaw, I've never seen such a plant."

"Well, you have now..." Bluepaw sighed and turned back to the seeds. She tucked them inside the leaf packet. "Foxglove seeds are very dangerous, Sage. They can be deadly if a cat eats too many of them. They do have medicinal uses, but not as painkillers..."

Sage's eyes widened. "I had no idea, Bluepaw, I'm sorry! I thought they smelled a little bit odd, but I just assumed...I'm sorry." His ears flattened and his eyes glittered with alarm at the thought of the damage he might have accidentally caused.

Bluepaw wasn't paying attention; she was staring down at the leaves and seemed to be mumbling something to herself. Suddenly, her eyes brightened and she beamed at Sootpaw like a beacon, before racing out of the den. "Reedrush! Thistlethorn! Rabbitleap!"

Sage stared after her, then turned back to Sootpaw, looking bemused. Sootpaw laughed quietly.

"That's just Bluepaw," she meowed to him. "She kind of lives in another world, it seems like."

"Do you think she's angry?" Sage sighed. "I feel like I've messed up with her several times now, first by mentioning Bramblethorn and now this..."

"Bluepaw doesn't hold grudges, and even if she did this isn't your fault," she assured him. "If you've never seen the plant before, how could you have known? Besides, she looks happy to me."

Sage sat down next to her, and shook his head with bewilderment. "I hope so."

Sootpaw's ears pricked at the sound of coming pawsteps, and she blinked as Bluepaw burst into the den, grabbed the packet of leaves, and presented it to the warriors waiting outside.

"What is this, Bluepaw?" Reedrush asked, looking just as puzzled as Sage and Sootpaw.

"Foxglove seeds, see?" Bluepaw meowed, eagerness in her voice as she set the packet down and unwrapped it, exposing the shiny black seeds.

"They look like poppy seeds to me," Thistlethorn growled, and Bluepaw nodded with a grin.

"Exactly!" she exclaimed. "That's right, they do! Sage thought they were poppy seeds too, because he's never seen foxglove seeds before."

"If they're not poppy seeds, why do we need them?" Reedrush inquired. Sootpaw noticed how tired the silver tabby looked; her green eyes were dull and her whiskers seemed to droop. The others were tired too, Sootpaw realized; the journey was taking its toll on all of them.

"It's part of the prophecy!" Bluepaw meowed. "I didn't think we were so close, but apparently we were...anyway, StarClan told me to _'beware the false poppy; look for the dark copy.'_"

Understanding gleamed in Rabbitleap's blue-green eyes. "The foxglove seeds are the false poppies. They look just like the poppy seeds!"

"Exactly!" Bluepaw purred, looking utterly delighted.

"But...I've seen this plant on our territory, and so have you, if you recognized them," Reedrush said. "Why did StarClan drag us all the way out here for foxglove seeds when we could just get them at home?"

Bluepaw's face fell. "Oh...I hadn't thought of that. I don't know..."

"Why didn't StarClan just tell us what we were looking for instead of sending us on a goose chase?" Thistlethorn spat. "Why didn't you and Shimmerfrost recognize what they were talking about, instead of dragging us out here?" His amber eyes burned with anger, and Bluepaw shrank back, looking crestfallen.

"Don't growl at her," Sage said quietly. "It isn't her fault. She's still learning. Perhaps your medicine cat – Shimmerfrost, was it? - should have recognized the clues, but Bluepaw is young."

"And foxglove isn't all, I don't think," Bluepaw mewed, sounding nervous. "There were clues for two more herbs as well..."

Thistlethorn's tail lashed. "Well, what are they?"

"I'm not supposed to say them all at once, StarClan said we might misinterpret them if-"

"What's the next hint?" Thistlethorn demanded, taking an aggressive step forward. Immediately, Reedrush moved between the two of them, staring Thistlethorn down.

"Get a hold of yourself," she hissed. "Bluepaw is our only link to StarClan, and she's our medicine cat apprentice. I won't have you raising her voice at her. Sage is right, she's only an apprentice; she's still learning."

Sootpaw struggled to get to her paws, wanting to help comfort her friend, but the throbbing in her shoulders and ear were too great. She bit her lip, feeling anxious as Thistlethorn and Reedrush glared at one another. Finally, Thistlethorn turned away with a low hiss.

"She shouldn't be keeping secrets from us," he said, sounding sullen. "What if we had missed this clue because Sage didn't bring back the foxglove seeds?"

"It was kind of lucky, when you think about it," Bluepaw mewed, looking anxious. "I think StarClan's looking out for us, making sure we don't make a mistake. We were sent on this journey for a reason, surely, not just to find the herbs, but to find something else...I just don't know what."

"Well, you'd better figure it out," Thistlethorn spat, then stalked away, his blue-gray tail lashing from side to side. Reedrush glanced towards Bluepaw, but her eyes held little sympathy.

"You should have told us what we were looking for, at least," she said. "We can't stumble around and just hope to find what we're looking for. I want you to try and contact StarClan in any way that you know how. Ask them to visit you in a dream; we need more guidance than what we have."

Bluepaw dipped her head and stared down at her paws. "I'll try," she mumbled.

"Alright then," Reedrush said, her voice more brisk. "How long until Sootpaw will be able to leave the den?"

Bluepaw glanced towards Sootpaw, looking thoughtful. "I'm not sure, probably a few days. She was beaten up pretty badly. Why?"

"Because as soon as she's strong enough, we're going to train," Reedrush answered. Sootpaw's eyes widened in surprise, and Reedrush smiled. "It's painfully obvious that you've been neglected, Sootpaw, and I won't say that I am not to blame. Although I'm not your official mentor, I should have taken you out more than once or twice. You're just as important as any other apprentice. As soon as you're up to it, I want us to begin training. You need to learn how to hunt and fight so that you can be an asset to this group."

Sootpaw's eyes glowed with excitement, and she nearly leaped to her paws immediately. "I'll train hard, Reedrush, I promise! I learn as quickly as I can!"

Reedrush laughed. "Don't worry about that right now, Sootpaw, just rest up. I'll check on you whenever I can. Now, Bluepaw, do you want to redress my wounds? My leg is feeling a bit stiff, and..."

Sootpaw lost track of the conversation as she conjured up a fantasy. She imagined herself facing down Reedrush and then leaping, the two of them embroiled in a fierce struggle. She purred at the thought, feeling wistful but also excited. A mentor had been all that she had wanted when they had been back home.

_But unlike before, having a mentor now won't make all of my problems magically disappear, _she thought, sobering a little. _Having a mentor doesn't guarantee that I'll be strong enough to go through with all this. I'm hopelessly behind the others right now, and like Swanpaw said, I'm basically useless..._

_Still, just having the chance to really train...I'll give it everything I have. I don't want to end up like Blackpaw, so far behind my brother. I want to be the best warrior I can be, and make everyone proud._

_I wonder if Chillpaw could help? He was going to be named a warrior, so he's certainly capable. Perhaps once I've heard the stories of all the cats and everything, if we have some extra time, he could help me out. _She smiled at the thought and felt a prickle of excitement, before blinking as she realized that she was actually looking forward to another visit from the icy white tom. When had her dread become anticipation?

The other cats came in to be tended to as well; Bluepaw apologized over and over for not having any poppy seeds, which seemed to embarrass Sage. Sootpaw's stomach clenched with anxiety when it was Swanpaw's turn to be treated, but the ginger-and-white apprentice completely ignored her, acting as if Sootpaw didn't exist at all. Somehow, that was worse than the frosty apprentice's sharp tongue and insults.

Finally, Bluepaw dismissed everyone and turned her eager blue eyes onto her friend. "Okay, now that we've gotten all that out of the way, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

Sootpaw twitched her tail, feeling nervous. She was entirely sure that Bluepaw would believe her, but it was more than that. She wasn't sure she _wanted _the blue-gray apprentice to believe in her dreams. As strange as it seemed, the dreams were precious to Sootpaw; they were a burden, but they made her feel special, as if StarClan truly cared about her and wanted to empower her. Sharing such intimate feelings with Bluepaw felt _wrong,_but Sootpaw knew she had to try. Bluepaw was one of the only cats that could help her make sense of her dream. If she had known more about what had happened in the dream, she might have been able to save Rainwind.

Sootpaw began to explain the dreams, starting with the very first one, wherein Fogheart and the others had volunteered to find SkyClan. She described the dreams as vividly as she could, speaking of all the journeying cats that she could remember and their various struggles as they sought SkyClan. Bluepaw listened intently, and although Sootpaw's voice was soft at first, she gradually began to warm to her tale as her words painted a colorful image of the journeying cats in her mind. She pictured them clearly in her mind: noble Fogheart, fiery Amberfur, brave Oakclaw, fearsome Graystorm, swift Whitecloud, timid Birchpaw, earnest Foxpaw, and all of the other cats that had risked their lives to go in search of the lost Clan.

When Sootpaw finally finished, Bluepaw stared at her for a long moment. Her blue eyes seemed oddly downcast, and her gaze flicked down towards her paws.

Sootpaw's ears flattened, and she was beginning to think that she had made a terrible mistake, when Bluepaw smiled. It was a small smile, and looked a little sad, but it was a smile nonetheless. She looked back up at Sootpaw, and chuckled.

"That's why you came," she mewed. "You had to follow the dreams, even though you don't know where they're headed. You couldn't let them go."

"StarClan's sending them to me for a reason. How could I ignore them?" Sootpaw said simply.

Bluepaw sighed. "You really are special, Sootpaw. I never...I mean, it took a long time for StarClan to decide to send me dreams. But you're not even a medicine apprentice, and they already trust you. I don't know what that means. I guess it's a good thing, but...I can't help but be a tiny bit jealous."

Sootpaw's eyes widened – Bluepaw, a medicine cat apprentice who had always been able to make friends and who had a mentor, was jealous of her? - but she didn't say anything for a few moments. Then, she blurted, "Being special is lonely, Bluepaw. It's really, really lonely. I have all these dreams that I don't understand, and I can't tell anyone because they'll think that I'm crazy, and it sometimes feels like such a weight on my shoulders and I don't know what to do...I'm not like you, Bluepaw, I didn't ask for these dreams, and I never wanted to be a medicine apprentice. I always just wanted to be a warrior, and I've always wanted to be pretty and sleek and fast, not a huge, bumbling freak who can't sleep through a single night without having something horrible happening in my dreams..." Her throat threatened to close as the frustration and distress that she had been feeling for so long bubbled out of her.

Bluepaw moved forward without a word, and pressed her pelt against Sootpaw's. Sootpaw leaned against her, wishing that Bluepaw was Ravenwing, longing for the comfort of her mother's touch and gentle caress. Bluepaw licked her head between her ears, resting her muzzle on top of Sootpaw's broad head.

"Don't worry, Sootpaw. It'll all be okay, okay? I promise. We'll work through these dreams together and figure them out and StarClan will be proud of both of us."

"I wish I was home," Sootpaw whispered into Bluepaw's fur. "I wish I was with my mother and father and brother, and that I could train in our territory and sleep in the apprentice den and eat prey with the other apprentices and walk through the territory without having to be afraid."

"It'll be okay," she repeated. "I promise, Sootpaw, it'll be okay. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that everyone comes home safely.

"You should rest, Sootpaw. This is all taking a terrible toll on you, and I think the only way to help is for you to get some rest. Okay?"

Her ears flattened. "I don't want to dream."

"I know. I've got some lavender here to help you relax, and some thyme will help too. Nibble on these and smell some of this." She passed Sootpaw a few leaves and several purple flowers. Sootpaw chewed the leaves and took in a deep breath of the lavender as Bluepaw had instructed. The soothing smell wafted into her nose and she let out the softest of sighs, resting her head on her paws. Bluepaw came to lie beside her again, and Sootpaw felt comforted by her warm fur.

"Thanks," she murmured, feeling herself beginning to slip away under the combined effects of the thyme and lavender, as well as her physical and emotional exhaustion. "You're my best friend, Bluepaw."

"I know," Bluepaw meowed, and the last thing Sootpaw felt before she fell headfirst into sleep was the touch of Bluepaw's nose against her muzzle.

_She opened her eyes to find Moonpaw standing in front of her, her blue eyes gleaming with concern._

"_Are you alright?" the black apprentice meowed. "You're beginning to worry me, Sootpaw, you know that? I love you."_

"_Of course you do. You're a part of me. Is Chillpaw coming?"_

"_He wants to, but...if you aren't up to it, I can tell him to wait. He's going to try and bring Brightstar this time."_

_Sootpaw wanted nothing more than another dream of snowy skies and play, but she knew that Chillpaw was depending on her. Sighing inwardly, she shook her head. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Tell Chillpaw to come. I don't have anything better to do."_

_Moonpaw licked her shoulder before turning and darting away, disappearing into the mist. Within moments she reappeared, Chillpaw's ghostly form trailing behind her. An even dimmer shape gleamed behind him, shimmering orange and white._

_Moonpaw stopped and touched noses with Chillpaw, then Brightstar; their forms instantly solidified, and they turned their eyes upon her. Sootpaw looked away, unable to meet Chillpaw's cold eyes or Brightstar's mismatched pair. _

"_You look tired," Chillpaw said. "We can find another time, if you would prefer it."_

_Brightstar's lip curled. "I knew getting an apprentice would be a bad idea. Just look at her, she's completely rundown. She needs a lot more than rest; she needs a complete overhaul, the poor thing!"_

_Brightstar's voice seemed sympathetic, but there was a sharper edge to it, and it grated against Sootpaw's nerves. She wanted to growl something to the aged leader, but thought better of it._

"_If you can't be civil, Brightstar, at least try to be modest," Chillpaw said. "Your ego is what brought you into all of this in the first place. I suggest you ponder your actions." _

"_Can you at least do something about the scenery? I'm so tired of the darkness, and this dreadful mist is hardly any better!" Brightstar complained, lashing her thick tail with irritation. Chillpaw sighed, then closed his eyes and focused. The mist peeled away, replaced by lush grass and thick forest. It wasn't the usual meadow where Sootpaw and Moonpaw played; this was of a different forest altogether, and Sootpaw was willing to bet that Chillpaw had constructed it from yet another memory._

"_Better?" Chillpaw asked, chips of ice in his voice. Brightstar didn't seem to notice; she was surveying the area with interest. She ducked her head, brushing her muzzle over the grass and letting out a low purr, before tilting her head to look up at the glowing sun. Seeing that the she-cat was satisfied, Chillpaw turned away._

"_Where are you going?" Sootpaw asked, a note of anxiety in her voice. Chillpaw glanced at her._

"_I told you before that there were things I needed to do," he answered. "You stopped me from doing them last night, so while you and Brightstar talk, I will be doing what needs to be done. It's an experiment, it shouldn't take a terribly long time."_

I don't want to be left alone with her, _Sootpaw wanted to blurt, but she felt Moonpaw's pelt brush up against hers, and forced herself to relax. "Okay. Try not to take too long."_

_Chillpaw dipped his head and disappeared into the brush, his white fur vanishing amongst the twisted shadows and curled leaves. Sootpaw withheld a sigh, and turned to Brightstar, who was still staring up at the sky._

"_Darkpelt always said my golden eye was more beautiful than the sun," she purred. "He was one of my many lovers, you know. I had roughly a dozen running around, as I remember..."_

I doubt there were a dozen available toms in your Clan, unless you were hitting on apprentices or venturing into other Clans, _Sootpaw thought, but she bit the words back._

"_I see," she mewed instead, and sat down, brushing her tail over the rippling grass. "So...the way it worked with Swiftshade is that I asked him some questions and we gradually worked towards what he had done. Do you want to do it the same way?"_

_Brightstar's lip curled. "I don't need to waste any time, unlike that lazy bonebag. No, darling, I'll simply start at the beginning and we'll get to my so-called crimes eventually. _

"_Now, let's see..." She tapped her chin with her tail. "I was born on the cusp of newleaf, when the dreary leaf-bare was finally giving way to the new life flooding the moors. My birth vanquished the last of the frost from our glorious grasslands. The mere mewls of my kithood were enough to revitalize the territory. My father – very close to our leader, you know, they were old friends; my father was very nearly chosen as our deputy, if you can believe that – often said that I was blessed from the very beginning. Why, I once-"_

_Sootpaw's eyes were glazed over in moments as Brightstar rambled about her great and mighty past. She had never heard a cat praise herself as much as the ex-leader was doing now; it seemed that for every word out of her mouth, there were at least three more detailing Brightstar's various conquests and victories. Her apprenticeship had apparently been nothing less than miraculous – she had fought off a badger, a fox, a pack of wild dogs, all without any assistance from the Clanmates; she had held the hearts of at least three toms; she had been often trained by the leader himself – and her time spent as a warrior was apparently even more miraculous. By the time Brightstar got around to the second time she had single-pawedly beaten ShadowClan – she had broken into their camp not once, but twice, and had both time overpowered ShadowClan's leader, forcing him to concede valuable territory to WindClan – Sootpaw felt ready to scream at the top of her lungs. Only a quarter of Brighstar's story could be true, at the most, and yet the ginger-and-white she-cat was starry-eyed, clearly drunk on her own grandeur. _

"_So there I was, stalking through the forest, looking for my second crow of the day – I caught three that day, total, even though crows were fairly rare in our territory – when I stumbled upon a truly astonishing scene. It was our leader and a ShadowClan she-cat, doing...well, what you might expect, if you rule out fighting. This wasn't the first time I'd caught him with a forbidden she-cat, oh no. My excellent intuition had once caused me to follow him when he left camp in the middle of the night, and he met up with our medicine cat. They had a brief fling that ended quite badly. Anyway, the she-cat was named Honeyfur. She was a dreadfully dull thing. I've no idea why Featherstar was interested in her. He had given me a few side looks, but I never went after him; twisting his affection for me in order to gain power would have been silly, not nearly fitting enough for what I had in mind. So there I was, staring at the two of them, hardly able to believe my luck, and I-"_

"_Stop," Sootpaw meowed. "Please, just stop."_

_Brightstar seemed to snap out of her blissful remembering. She blinked at Sootpaw, looking puzzled. "What is it, my dear? Puzzled about a detail in the story? Ask away, darling, I can explain anything you desire. My father always said I had a knack for it, and I mentored six apprentices, so-"_

"_Stop!" Sootpaw said again, more fiercely this time. "Just stop talking! I can't handle any more lies out of your mouth!"_

_Brightstar first looked offended, then confused, as if she didn't understand how a lowly apprentice would dare to raise her voice at such an influential cat. Then, her mismatched eyes glittered with fierce anger. "Excuse me? You would be wise to watch your tone, little kit!" Her voice had none of the light candor that it had held moments before. It was jagged now, like a rough-edged blade._

"_You're lying! Your whole story is just a pack of lies!" Sootpaw exclaimed. "I'm not here to listen to your weird fantasies and your bragging. I came here to help you, and I can't do that if you're going to lie to me. I need to get to the root of why you did what you did, so I can at least find some hope that you'll be a better cat in the next life. But you're insufferable! I honestly have no idea how a cat like you could have become the leader of a Clan."_

_Brightstar's eyes were as sharp as razorblades now, and she bared her fangs. "I will not be spoken to in such a manner!"_

"_Just tell me the _truth!_" Sootpaw exclaimed. "Please, that's all I want to hear."_

"_The truth? The _truth? _The truth is that my father probably wasn't even my father. He looked nothing like me and barely spared me a glance as I was growing up. My mother never admitted to it, but my father was probably a wandering rogue. Because of this, I was an outcast in the Clan. Other cats were intimidated by me. They were apprehensive. I was openly mocked by most of the other apprentices. But that didn't stop me._

"_I trained as hard as I could and fought in many battles, but our leader still made me a warrior late. I was determined to prove myself to him, but he was never paying attention to me. He had she-cats to chase after. When I was named a warrior, I caught him with our medicine cat, and then a ShadowClan she-cat, but I didn't say anything until the time was right. Our deputy died in a battle against ShadowClan. It was then that I revealed my knowledge of his affairs. I forced him to appoint me the deputy, then to resign as leader. StarClan wouldn't grant me nine lives so long as he was alive, but he only had two lives left by that point, and he was old. I argued with StarClan, saying that Featherstar would die very quickly and that I needed my nine lives to lead my Clan. Without then, I couldn't take the suffix of -star, and the Clan would not respect me as they ought._

"_StarClan outright refused. They turned their backs on me. My deputy was untrustworthy and lazy, but so was every other cat in my Clan. I had no one to turn to and the Clan did not look to me for guidance. So I decided to take things into my own paws._

"_I told the Clan that StarClan had visited me in a dream and given me my nine lives. I didn't mention any names, but I dropped hints of cats that had died in the recent path, like our dear deputy. I took the name -star, and the Clan began to trust me._

"_But it was not enough. StarClan had spurned me, and I wanted more. I told the Clan that StarClan had said I was to be the most powerful leader in the Clan, that I was supposed to take over speaking to them, instead of our medicine cat. I suspected that she was aware that I knew about her former relationship with Featherstar, and I knew she would try to stand against me. I was trying to weaken her authority over the Clan._

"_She declared that StarClan had told _her _that I was a danger to the Clan. The Clan thought she was a loyal medicine cat, whereas I was a leader of tainted blood, and they were leaning towards her. I knew I had to prove myself to them, so I uttered a prophecy, foretelling that we would have many victories and earn back territories we had long since lost._

"_I then started a campaign against ShadowClan. Their leader was a crotchety old fool, and his deputy, Badger-something, wasn't much better. We marked their land as our own, stole their prey, attacked their patrols, demolishing their morale and weakening them, making it hard for them to find food as we grew even stronger. Finally, I gave the order to attack. We raided their camp. ShadowClan's leader was killed in the fray; his heart gave out with all the excitement. We stole huge chunks of their disgusting territory for ourselves, and my so-called prophecy came to pass._

"_The Clan trusted me then, and they followed what I said. I continued to tell them that I was a prophet sent by StarClan to make WindClan great. I refused to grovel before StarClan for my nine lives. My Clan was happy, do you understand, little kit? They were happy with me and they wanted to be led."_

_Brighstar's hubris was unbelievable. Sootpaw was sickened by it, but still confused; surely arrogance was not a crime. Attacking another Clan was wrong, but other cats had done worse. Northstar had wiped out entire Clans, even, and yet he seemed assured of his eventual place in StarClan. What could Brightstar have done that was so terrible for StarClan to forbid her passage into their kingdom?_

"_I was still angry with StarClan, of course, and wary of Smallpoppy. Over time, I eroded her power, claiming her prophecies for myself and making my own come to pass. Smallpoppy was furious, but there was little she could do. The Clan was enamored with me." Brightstar's odd eyes seemed to glow with a strange, burning passion as the she-cat recalled the power and prestige that she had once held in the land of the living. "Gradually, I began to turn WindClan against StarClan as well. I planted the seeds of dissent in the minds of the young, telling them the stories of StarClan that I had learned in my youth, but with little twists to show StarClan's folly. The stories were all true, of course; I did not lie to them, I merely made everything clearer to them. Do you know the story of the terrible fire that nearly wiped out the entire forest, the story that tells why rain falls? I told them that one, and many others. I recited them to the kits and apprentices of our Clan, and slowly their mistrust of StarClan grew._

"_StarClan could see what I was doing. They could see that I was trying to turn WindClan against them, and they hated me for it. StarClan sent down a bolt of lightning one greenleaf, and it set our moors ablaze. The Clan would have perished if I hadn't led them to the Highstones where the fire couldn't touch us. The fire spread to ShadowClan's territory, decimating it._

"_It was then that WindClan turned its back on StarClan, and it was then that they began to accept me as more than a prophet. I was a god among them, a god among the living!" Brightstar's eyes glittered with a mad flame, and Sootpaw shrank back, feeling frightened. _

How could she betray StarClan like that? How could she twist the truth, lie to the future of the Clan? _Sootpaw wondered, bewildered. _Claiming to be a god...it's insane!

"_How they worshiped my beauty, praised my wisdom, admired my strength," Brightstar crooned. "I will never forget it, no. Their eyes shimmered when they looked up at me. They _believed _in me, and they trusted me to lead them through the dark times._

"_Smallpoppy was nearly insignificant by now, merely a cat to tend to the sick and injured, to bind the apprentice's sore paws and tend to kits' scrapes. She was a shell of her former self; it served her right. But she was cunning, foolish as she was. She tried to regain favor with me, giving me herbs to ease the headaches I sometimes received, and to help me relax after long days of leading. Being a leader is stressful, more than you would believe. I always handled it with grace, of course, but there were times..._

"_I cast my eyes beyond ShadowClan. Their territory was worthless after the fire. I decided to engage ThunderClan instead. It turned out to be a mistake. Their territory was bountiful and lush, and their warriors were strong. WindClan lost some of its own. But I didn't have time to mourn. I had to make sure that WindClan was the strongest it could be, so I plotted and planned to attack ThunderClan's leader and kill her. Without her, there would be no ThunderClan, you see? Killing another leader was against StarClan's rules, of course, and it wouldn't be easy, but I had no choice._

"_Smallpoppy learned of my plans and put a quick end to them. The treacherous she-cat slipped some strange berries into my morning herbs, and before I knew what was happening, I was choking on the very air and thrashing about as if a badger was shaking me." Brightstar bared her fangs at the memory. "It was a painful death, and an embarrassing one. I was forbidden entrance by StarClan and forced to watch as Smallpoppy explained my treachery to the Clan, showing that I only had one life. After suffering defeat at the paws of ThunderClan, WindClan was only too eager to listen to her, and everything I created collapsed like a dead branch."_

_Her tail was lashing from side to side with anger. Sootpaw found herself wanting to turn and flee, to dash into the forest and leave the terrible she-cat behind. Brightstar was so different from Swiftshade, so different that it was impossible to picture them walking through the Dark Forest together. Swiftshade was many things, but filled with pride he was not. He had at least been ashamed of what he had done. Brightstar seemed to want nothing more than to relive her glory days._

_As if on cue, Chillpaw appeared, his white fur flickering in the corner of Sootpaw's vision. She turned towards him quickly, and he seemed to sense her discomfort._

"_Did you finish whatever you were doing?" Brightstar asked, and he nodded._

"_My business is finished. Is yours concluded as well?"_

_Brightstar looked to Sootpaw expectantly. Sootpaw swallowed and jerked her head, wanting for Brightstar to leave her dreams as quickly as possible._

_Chillpaw touched Brighstar's nose, and the ginger-and-white she-cat's form began to flicker and melt away._

"_Head into the mist, then wait for me," Chillpaw ordered. Brightstar turned away from him without a word and padded forward, melting away just before she touched the brush._

_Chillpaw turned to Sootpaw. "Your expression tells me it did not go well. What is the matter?"_

_Sootpaw wanted to press her nose into his fur, but she resisted the urge. "S-she's horrible, Chillpaw. She's twisted, evil, insane! I don't understand her at all, I just don't. How am I supposed to help someone like her? She can't change, not with a soul like hers."_

"_Silverstar said that everyone deserved a second chance. I assumed you held the same beliefs. Is that not so?" Chillpaw asked._

_Anger flickered within her. "You don't get to mention Silverstar. Don't draw her into this, not after what you did to her. Don't try to use my leader against me!"_

_Chillpaw's eyes were unreadable. "Then what do you suggest I say?"_

"_Reassure me! Tell me she can change! Tell me there's a better side of her that I just haven't seen, that there's more to her than the horrible things that she's done!" Sootpaw knew even as the words bubbled out of her that there was nothing Chillpaw could say to change her mind, but she had to give him the chance._

"_Brightstar is what she is, I am what I am, and we are what we are. We can't change our core aspects, no matter how much we try. I will always be as frigid as leaf-bare, and she will always be as full of pride as a bluejay. That's one of the rules of life. It is unalterable, and so are we."_

"_You don't think cats can change? You don't think we're in charge of our own destinies?"_

"_How can I believe I am in charge of my destiny when I don't believe in destiny?" he responded. "We make choices. We can alter our paths in life. But nothing can change who we are at our very cores."_

_Sootpaw shook her head. "Chillpaw, I can't take this, not now. I have to believe that cats can change, that they can be good, that we all have choices in who we become. And you all are making this so hard, all of you Dark Forest cats are, and I just feel so..."_

"_I don't mean to cause you discomfort." He fixed her with his icy eyes, as if his piercing gaze was staring into her very being. "Believe that Brightstar can be a good cat, if it makes you feel better about what you are doing. I could be wrong. I don't know everything." He glanced away from her, and he almost looked wistful. "There are things beyond my understanding...I'm not driven by the same things as most cats. Perhaps my observations are flawed because I do not see through the same passion-focused lenses as the rest of you."_

"_Go," Sootpaw said, lacking the strength to raise her voice above a whisper. She felt hollow, defeated, hopeless. Even the thought of Brightstar and her story made her pelt crawl, and the last thing she wanted was to talk to a cat as lonely and lost as Chillpaw. He was a killer, as hard as it was to believe sometimes. _

"_As you wish." Chillpaw tilted his head, and Moonpaw raced up to him to touch his nose. As they touched, Chillpaw's form flickered, then melted away like morning dew._

"_What are we going to do now?" Moonpaw asked, looking back at Sootpaw expectantly. Sootpaw laid down, resting her muzzle on her paws and did not say a word as the dream that Chillpaw had built vaporized around them, leaving nothing but dull, swirling, endless mist. _

**AN: My two-year anniversary was December 30th. I can't believe I've only been writing here for two years, it feels like so much longer than that! Thank you guys so much for supporting my writing. I wouldn't be here without you.**

**Also, Brightstar's point of view in her dialogue is incredibly fun to write for some reason. She is just _so _skewed and full of herself and so faux-elegant in her descriptions. It pleases me in a strange way, I love charries that are narcissistic to the extreme, and she certainly fits. Her sin is obviously Pride, and we'll chat more about that at the blog. I'll try to update the blog tomorrow morning, but if I can't it will be tomorrow afternoon.**

**Also, you guys might not remember the story that Brightstar mentions. It is from Snatched, and it is the story that Snowpaw tells Frost, Rain, and Cricket in Chapter 8: Apprentices. I like lil callbacks now and then. :3**


	36. C h a p t e r 35

**C _h a p t e r _35**

Spiderpaw's tail flicked from side to side with anticipation as he blinked up at the dying sun. The last few hours had been torturous as he waited for nightfall, but his agonizing expectancy was finally coming to an end.

He knew some of the Clan was watching him; some of them were curious about what he and Blackpaw were doing while they were out together. He was sure that several of them suspected that more than plain training was going on. That was ridiculous, of course, but warriors loved to gossip.

Blackpaw had attracted a small flock of cats; Fireblaze, Redpaw, Petalcloud, Stormshadow, Robinpaw, and Blizzardpaw had all gathered around her, speaking in excited, hushed tones. Blackpaw's expression was a mixture of quiet happiness and anxiety; she didn't like being in such a large group, but Spiderpaw was certain that the cats had nothing but good things to say about the gentle she-cat.

He, on the other paw, was alone. Tomorrow wasn't supposed to be his big day, after all. It was Blackpaw's chance to prove herself, to earn her warrior name and take her place beside her brother as a defender and provider for the Clan.

Spiderpaw felt the tiniest flicker of jealousy run through him. It would be many moons before he would become a warrior. He would watch Blizzardpaw, Robinpaw, Jaypaw, Leopardpaw, Redpaw, and even Bluepaw earn their names before he did.

_Maybe even after Sootpaw, _he thought. _She's on this journey, after all. She's probably learning more than I ever will, seeing things that I might never see...I wouldn't blame Silverstar for making her a warrior before me._

His ear swiveled as he heard heavy pawsteps behind him. He didn't have to turn to see who it was; Jaggedclaw was the only cat in the Clan whose steps were so slow and labored.

"It's nearly time for you two to begin training, is it not?" Jaggedclaw asked. Spiderpaw nodded.

"Eaglestrike said we should get some rest so we can be fresh tonight, but I couldn't sleep, and she's too busy talking to everyone," he said. "The Clan is excited for her. She's been an apprentice for a long time now."

"Aren't you worried she might be tired tomorrow? Why are you two training at night?"

Spiderpaw gave the older tom a wry smile. "I'm tired from sparring this morning, and Blackpaw was busy too. We took the afternoon to rest...plus, she's used to training at night now. It would be strange for her to train during the day, and it might throw her off.

"She doesn't have to begin sparring with Leopardpaw until sun-high, so once we finish tonight she can hopefully get some sleep."

"Do you want to train tomorrow, with me?"

Spiderpaw let out a growl at the thought of facing the dappled she-cat in the Moss Clearing. "As much as I'd love to rip Leopardpaw's face off, it wouldn't be a fair fight. She'd be exhausted from her sparring with Blackpaw, I'd expect...besides, I owe Petalcloud some work, too." He glanced at the scarred tom, feeling almost amused. "What are you really here for? You don't normally ask me a lot of questions."

Jaggedclaw let out a low grunt. "You're too smart for your own good, you know that?" His single eye flicked up towards the cloudy sky overhead. "I just wanted to say that what you're doing for Blackpaw...it's good. You've never struck me as the type who would do more than he had to for his Clanmates. I figured you would be too focused on your own warrior name. Obviously I was wrong." He cleared his throat, appearing embarrassed. Then, he said something quietly, his voice almost too low for Spiderpaw to hear. "I'm proud of you."

Spiderpaw blinked at the praise; somehow, it was worth more than ten compliments from Petalcloud. Jaggedclaw tail flicked from side to side, and the scarred tom confused to look up at the sky rather than his apprentice.

A she-cat might have reached out to the old tabby, pressing her nose to his shoulder in thanks, but Spiderpaw knew that Jaggedclaw wouldn't appreciate that sort of thing from him. Instead, Spiderpaw just nodded, deciding to keep quiet. He thought he saw the ghost of a smile on the edges of Jaggedclaw's muzzle, but he couldn't be certain.

Eaglestrike padded out of the medicine den, and looked for his son. Spiderpaw rose to his paws as Eaglestrike dipped his head to him, and Spiderpaw knew that was his father's signal for him and Blackpaw to set off for their training. Spiderpaw flicked his ear, signaling that he understood, before walking away from Jaggedclaw and towards the group that was huddling around Blackpaw.

"Move," he growled to Redpaw, pushing past the ginger tom. Redpaw opened his mouth to object, then closed it as he realized who he was; Spiderpaw withheld a smirk. It seemed that Fireblaze had ordered his lackey not to give him any trouble, at least not so long as he was helping Blackpaw.

"Is it time?" Blackpaw asked. Spiderpaw nodded, and Blackpaw rose to her feet. She gave everyone a gracious smile and explained that she had to be going; the others murmured 'good luck' and 'train hard,' then dissipated.

"I can believe this is the last time we're going to train together like this," Blackpaw whispered as they exited camp together. They squeezed through the camp entrance at the same time, and their pelts brushed. For a moment, their fur seemed to mingle into a seamless black sea.

"Yeah," he said. "I can't say that I'll miss it, though."

Blackpaw blinked. "Really? Not even a little bit?"

"I don't mean that I don't like hanging out with you," he backpedaled. "I just mean I don't like staying up all night sparring. Sparring during the day is fun, but at night I'd rather be sleeping."

She laughed. "Me too. But if – when – I'm made a warrior, we can still spar together now and then, if you'd like. I'm sure I can give you some tips." Her eyes danced as she blinked at him, but he rolled his own at her.

"Oh, loosen up, you big grouch," she giggled as she nipped his shoulder playfully. He swatted her muzzle with his tail.

"We've got a lot to do tonight, and we don't have any time to play," he growled. Blackpaw sobered, and nodded.

"I know, I know. Sorry, I'm just feeling a little giddy. I can't believe that my warrior name might be so close...it still feels like it's a world away. There were times that I thought I would never make it...but thanks to you, I just might. I really appreciate it, Spiderpaw. I don't think you understand how grateful I am."

"You can shower me with adoration after your warrior vigil, alright? Let's just focus for right now."

They entered the Moss Clearing. The moon was just a sliver over their heads, and cast hardly any light down upon them as they faced one another. Thanks to their dark pelts, it was almost impossible for them to see each other, save for their glimmering eyes. Spiderpaw felt relaxed in the darkness; his black fur meant that he was safe, hidden away in the shadows of the night.

_It's a pity Carmelo's rogues won't attack us at night. They'd face quite a challenge then, _he thought, feeling a bit smug.

"So, what are we going today?" Blackpaw asked, her feathery tail swishing from side to side as he watched him. Her golden eyes glowed like lanterns in the flickering starlight.

"We've got to work on your offensive strategies," Spiderpaw said. "You're fast enough to avoid most of what Leopardpaw throws at you, but you'll need to get in your own strikes now and then to be able to pin her down."

Blackpaw mulled his words over and gave an affirmative nod. "Okay. So, what's my strategy going to be?"

"You're a pretty small cat – Leopardpaw's about your size, if not a little bigger, and she's well-muscled. You can't attack her head-on, or she'll end up pinning you before you can do much at all." Spiderpaw's ear flicked, remembering how many times he had been lectured upon the same principles. "Your speed is a definite advantage, so we'll use it as much as we can. In a real battle, where you could use your claws, you would be best off if you stayed out of the way and waited for an opening, then slashed your opponent and backed away. However, since you won't be using your claws or teeth against Leopardpaw, that method won't work. You've got to tire her out, make her drop her guard, and then pin her down. You'll only get one shot; she can't be fooled twice. You've got to make sure that the timing is perfect, your aiming is perfect, the strike itself is perfect...everything has to be exactly right, or you're going to lose. Understand?"

Blackpaw dipped her head to him. "I understand. What do you want me to do?"

He crouched, flicking his dark tail at her. "I want you to avoid my attacks, and strike when you think the moment is right. Try to pin me down. I'll be trying to do the same to you." His eyes narrowed. "We don't have much time; I don't want you to be tired. And I want you to understand the situation, how it feels to calculate every part of the move...so you've only got one chance, just like you will tomorrow."

Her golden eyes widened. "So, if you pin me down, it's over? We both go back to camp?"

His stare was all that she needed for a reply. Her gaze flicked down towards her paws, and she appeared tense. Then, she let out a soft sigh, and allowed the weight to slide from her shoulders like rainwater over her sleek pelt. Her eyes glinted like coins as she looked back up at him again, and she smiled. Without giving her a moment to ready herself, Spiderpaw threw himself at her, his paws outstretched. With a twist of her lithe body, she avoided the blow and smiled. He didn't smile back, leaping at her against instead. His eyes were fixed on her left shoulder, but in his mind he aimed for her right. However, his gaze betrayed him at the last moment as he turned his attention to his actual target, and once against she avoided his grasp.

It continued on in the same fashion, with him leaping and pouncing and striking at her, both of his paws seeking her fur. He tried to trip her, to knock her to the ground, to batter her into submission, but she continued to evade his clutches. Blackpaw's smile was steadily growing wider, and her eyes twinkled at him like stars, but he ignored the prickles running through his pelt, trying to focus on catching her instead. If he did, he had no intention of them stopping their training; all that was important was Blackpaw _thinking _that it would end.

Spiderpaw lunged forward as if to slash his claws down her pelt, only to kick out at her legs, hoping to knock her to the ground. Blackpaw surprised him by leaping into the air, and he ducked to the right, thinking that she would attempt to land on his back and pin him. Instead, she landed in front of him without a stumble, laughing at his expression.

"It wasn't perfect, although it was tempting," she meowed, and he found a small smile struggling to creep over his muzzle. He tugged the corners of his mouth down instead, refusing to give into the buoyant emotion that threatened to seize him. Blackpaw was doing well, but not well enough.

"Eaglestrike will end the session if it drags out for too long," he said. "You've got to take a chance eventually."

"I know," she replied, a hint of a purr in her voice. "A little trust, please."

She twitched her ear at him, looking oddly playful, as if they were simply two kits scuffling in the nursery. Instead of irritating him, the realization instead threatened to quirk his mouth into another smile. Blackpaw was his friend, and a good one at that; she had stood up for him against her controlling brother, although she had put him in his place as well. She had changed quite a bit from the timid apprentice who could barely meet his eyes moons ago.

Blackpaw darted forward like black lightning, and too late Spiderpaw realized that in allowing his mind to wander, he had also dropped his guard. By the time he tried to skirt to the side, it was too late, and his outstretched paws unbalanced him, making him easy for Blackpaw to topple over. He crashed onto his back, and heard Blackpaw's muffled laugh as she landed on top of him. Spiderpaw winced as Blackpaw's back leg pushed into his stomach. She mumbled a 'sorry' as she tried to regain her position to hold him down. He twisted like a snake underneath of her, trying to wriggle his way out of her grasp, but she held him down firmly. He prepared to kick her in the stomach and knock her off of him, when her own paws met his stomach once more, this time deliberately. The blow knocked the breath out of his body, and he went limp as his body was wracked with coughs.

Blackpaw's eyes were wide with alarm as he wheezed. "Oops! Spiderpaw, are you alright? I didn't mean to kick you so hard, I'm sorry, you were just thrashing around so much-"

"It's fine," Spiderpaw said through clenched jaws. Blackpaw released him, and he rolled onto his side, taking another moment to catch his breath before he stood. Blackpaw's eyes glimmered in the faint light as she watched him, looking as though she was waiting for his judgment.

He was silent just long enough to make her squirm, before he finally stopped fighting the smile that had been struggling to break over his face. Blackpaw's expression brigthened along with his.

"What are you looking at me for?" he asked, a low purr in his voice as he flicked his tail against her flank. "You pinned me down and kept me there. By Eaglestrike's rules, you passed. Nicely done, Blackpaw."

"Thank you!" she exclaimed, beaming with delight. She pressed her nose against his shoulder. "Thank you so much, Spiderpaw, I mean it. I would never have gotten this strong without you, and I know I'm still not the best and you'll be loads better than me by the time that you're a warrior, but it was thanks to you that I had the courage to face Fireblaze and challenge Leopardpaw and I just know that I would never have been brave enough to do it without you."

She was babbling like a creek, and it was all Spiderpaw could do not to laugh. Moons before, she had been tight-lipped and as nervous as a hare, but now she seemed bright and playful, practically carefree. It was a pleasant change from the gloominess that had haunted her after Birchpool's death."

Blackpaw pressed herself against Spiderpaw's shoulder for a moment longer, before drawing away. Spiderpaw blinked, feeling puzzled as the joy ebbed from Blackpaw's glowing face, replaced by an odd sort of shyness.

"Don't thank me yet," he said, hoping to diffuse the tension that was suddenly present between them. "Save the thanks for tomorrow. You'd better do well, or Fireblaze will have my head."

Blackpaw blinked at him, seeming a bit nervous. "Do you think I can do it? Do you think I can beat Leopardpaw?"

Spiderpaw mulled over the question for a long moment. There were plenty of possibilities, and he couldn't rule any of them out...but he was astonished to find that, somehow, he truly believed Blackpaw would be able to defeat the dappled she-cat.

"Yes," he answered. "Leopardpaw is arrogant. She doesn't think she can be beaten. You've suffered defeat many times; you know the sting of it. She does not, and I know you can use that to beat her."

Blackpaw made a noise that was somewhere between a purr and a laugh. "Kind of a back-pawed compliment there, but I'll take what I can get."

Spiderpaw was suddenly aware that Blackpaw had been drifting closer to him. He wanted to move away, perplexed, but for some reason found that he could not. Blackpaw's fur brushed up against his, and he swallowed as his face became hot underneath his dark fur.

"I'll miss it, even if you won't," she said quietly. "Not the sparring, necessarily, but having something that just the two of us knew about...something that Fireblaze couldn't stick his nose into...I'll miss it."

"Leopardpaw knew," he reminded her.

"You know what I mean."

The odd thing was, Spiderpaw actually did. Being the deputy's son, he didn't have very many private matters; he knew he was scrutinized closely by the Clan as yet another way to measure his father. Cats were always wanting to stick their noses into his business where they didn't belong. Having something that was truly _his _had been a pleasant change, not to mention that he had actually enjoyed spending time with Blackpaw. She wasn't as pathetic as he had originally though, and he had to admit – rather grudgingly, but still – that she wasn't a complete idiot.

"I hope we can still spend time together," Blackpaw mewed. Her golden eyes were focused on his, and they seemed wide and anxious, like glowing moons.

"It'll be different," he warned. "There are boundaries between apprentices and warriors, whether you like it or not. And this isn't our secret anymore. Pretty soon, it will all be over, whether you win or lose."

"I know." She looked away from him, peering up at the inky black sky. Silverpelt was scattered over the heavens, but their light seemed feeble without a glowing moon by their side. "I'm kind of glad that you beat me that day," she meowed. "I was angry about it at the time, sort of...not angry like Fireblaze, exactly, more like angry with myself...but I kind of took it out on you. Not directly, but behind your back..." Her ears flattened, and she stared down at her paws. "I heard Fireblaze and Blizzardpaw talking one day, about stealing your moss. When Blizzardpaw stole it, I saw how angry you were. So later...later I stole it, too. I knew I'd be the last cat you'd think of. Petalcloud saw me, but I think she just assumed I was taking out your old moss, since she just sort of smiled.

"And then, almost right after that, you said you wanted to train me. I knew it wasn't for me, of course, just so that my brother would leave you alone, but I felt grateful all the same. I had to keep stealing your moss every once and awhile, though, because otherwise you'd know it was me. And then once the cats on the journey left, I had to steal it again to make sure you wouldn't think it was Sootpaw or Jaypaw, since I didn't want them to get in trouble..." Her gaze fell down to her paws, and Spiderpaw could practically smell her shame.

"I know it was petty and stupid, and I'm really sorry...I just didn't want to keep it from you anymore, even though I knew you'd be angry..." She dared glance up at him for a brief moment, and seemed surprised by what she saw in his eyes.

Spiderpaw was equally astonished to find that he didn't truly feel angry at all. Blackpaw's justification for the crime was weak, but he had to admit that the way he had fought her during her assessment had been humiliating, and he knew that if someone had done the same to him he would have avenged himself in a manner far worse than a few empty nests. He had been the one blowing the matter out of proportion.

"I'm not mad," he said. "I already knew. Petalcloud said something that gave it away – she thought you were getting rid of my old moss, just like you said."

Blackpaw blinked at him. "But...why didn't you say anything, or confront me about it?"

"The day I found out was the day that you were hurt," he answered. "After Birchpool died, the whole thing just seemed...meaningless."

Blackpaw's eyes darkened at the mention of the white she-cat. "I suppose she's almost as much a part of me becoming a warrior as you are. I'm not sure I would have stopped acting like a coward, if it wasn't for her."

Spiderpaw didn't know what to say to that, so he turned towards the camp. "We should get back. You'll need your rest to beat Leopardpaw tomorrow."

Blackpaw moved forward so that their pelts were barely touching once more. "Thank you, Spiderpaw. For everything."

She suddenly darted forwards, and Spiderpaw's eyes widened as her tongue brushed over his muzzle. Before he could say anything, she was gone, leaping into the darkness as nimbly as a squirrel. He stared after her, wondering what exactly had just happened, and why his muzzle tingled as though it had been touched by a star.

. . .

He spent the rest of the next day in anxious anticipation. The sun seemed to crawl across the sky painstakingly slowly. He tried to distract himself by imagining what the battle between Leopardpaw and Blackpaw would be like, to predict some of the moves they would use, but found that he could not. Leopardpaw was a wildcard; he didn't yet know her style as well as he should, and he had no idea how she would act towards an opponent whose strategy was very different from his.

He considered trying to talk with the other apprentices about the up-and-coming battle, but once again they were all flocking to Blackpaw, eager to give her tips and cheer her to victory. Spiderpaw couldn't tell whether or not this ruffled Leopardpaw's fur; he didn't think she would mind that the others weren't backing her, but then again she was known for cloaking her emotions well.

By the time sunhigh finally arrived, Spiderpaw was ready to claw off his fur. His stomach churned with anxiety as Eaglestrike approached the throng of waiting apprentices.

"Time for us to be off," he said. "Frostfeather is coming as well, since Leopardpaw is her apprentice. Fireblaze has also requested to come. Beyond them, all of cats watching this fight will be apprentices. I don't want to waste any time, so we might as well head out now, if everyone is ready."

The apprentices murmured their assent, and Eaglestrike turned to exit the camp, when he suddenly stiffened. The fur on his tail bristled, but was quickly flattened as he glanced over his shoulder towards the waiting apprentices. "Blizzardpaw, please get Forestheart and Silverstar for me. Tell them PeakClan has arrived."

Blizzardpaw's blue eyes widened, but he didn't stop to ask questions. He dashed towards the medicine den, his white coat quickly disappearing into the den's gaping mouth.

A thick gray shape forced itself through the camp entrance. Spiderpaw recognized Stonestar's yellow eyes immediately. PeakClan's leader was followed by Northstar, then Blackmoon. The three PeakClan toms paused near the entrance, their eyes flicking over the gathered cats.

"Welcome," Eaglestrike meowed, striding towards them. "I assume you are here to discuss the matter of the berries?"

"Indeed," answered Stonestar. "Where is Silverstar?"

"Right here," Silverstar said from the entrance to the medicine den. She smiled at the PeakClan cats, but her eyes seemed heavy and tired, and her body shook as she held in a cough.

"We'll discuss this in her den," Eaglestrike said, flicking his tail towards the old ash tree. "I'll join you all momentarily."

Stonestar nodded, and headed towards the tree, flanked by the other two PeakClan toms. Eaglestrike's gaze flicked back to the apprentices.

"I'm sorry, Blackpaw, but I've got to stay here for the meeting," he said. "Frostfeather will conduct the assessment; I trust her to be fair."

Frostfeather dipped her head in acknowledgment, before flicking her thick tail. "Let's go."

Spiderpaw stared at his father with disbelief as the gray tabby strode towards Silverstar's den. _Is he really going to ignore Blackpaw's assessment for some dumb meeting? Silverstar doesn't need him! She's willing to just give the berries to them without a fight, so what does she need him for? He knows this is important to me and Blackpaw, but he's turning his back on us anyway..._

He let out a low, irritated growl, before hurrying after the other apprentices, trying to tell himself that he didn't care if his father was there or not. He didn't care whether Eaglestrike was proud how he had trained Blackpaw. He didn't care at all.

Frostfeather moved with swift grace through the forest, grace which was echoed by her apprentice. Leopardpaw seemed cool and unhurried as they headed for the Moss Clearing. Spiderpaw looked for Blackpaw, and was disheartened to see that her eyes were bright with anxiety, and her tail was flicking from side to side with obvious unease.

He wanted to approach her and give her a few reassuring words, but his head still felt a bit fuzzy after the ending of their last training session. He couldn't quite figure it out, but Blackpaw's tongue against his fur made his pelt itch in a way that was not all that unpleasant. He couldn't explain it, and he was always worried when there was something that he couldn't explain.

Fireblaze looming over his sister might have had something to do with it, too. He wasn't outright hostile towards Spiderpaw, but the apprentice knew Fireblaze's civility depended entirely upon the results of Blackpaw's battle. Blackpaw knew it too, and it was likely that this was making her even more nervous, which in turn would hurt her performance.

"Okay," Frostfeather said as they entered the Moss Clearing, "Leopardpaw, Blackpaw, take your places. The rules are fairly simple. No clawing, and you can only bite if you don't grab anything delicate, like an ear, and you don't bite too deeply. Blackpaw, your goal is to pin Leopardpaw down and make sure she cannot escape your grasp. Leopardpaw, if you manage to pin Blackpaw, she automatically fails her assessment. Understand?"

Both she-cats nodded, and Frostfeather stepped back to sit on the edges of the clearing. Leopardpaw and Blackpaw padded towards the center, while the others flocked around Frostfeather. Spiderpaw sat a small distance away from the rest of the group, not wanting anything to obscure his line of vision. He wanted to see every second of the fight as clearly as possible.

His ear swiveled as someone approached him, and he was surprised to find that it was Robinpaw. She gave him a smile before sitting down, then shivered.

"It's freezing out here today. Those furballs are lucky that they get to keep warm by sparring. Wish we could," she mewed. "Poor Blackpaw looks nervous...I think once the fighting starts that she'll do okay, though, don't you?"

He nodded. "She's ready. I know she is. She can win this if she just focuses and waits for the right moment."

"Blizzardpaw's assessment is coming up, and he's nervous," she meowed.

Spiderpaw blinked slowly; she was right. Blizzardpaw's assessment would be in about a moon and a half or so, since he had been apprenticed two-and-a-half moons before Sootpaw and Spiderpaw, and they had been training for a little over two.

_It's been two moons already? _He marveled. _It feels like it was just a few days ago that I was given to Petalcloud..._

"He's still got plenty of time. Why is he nervous?"

"Eaglestrike's been busy lately, with the sickness and all, so he isn't getting as much time to train as he usually would," Robinpaw replied. "He says he knows how Sootpaw feels now, and things are hardly going to be less busy, with Carmelo's rogues and the sickness and everything. He's afraid that he won't be ready when the time comes, especially if his opponent is you. I told him it will be Jaypaw, because Jaypaw will be better by then, but I don't think he believes me." Her green eyes flicked down to her paws. "I'm not sure I believe me either. From what I've heard, Jaypaw isn't doing all that well...but I'm not allowed to really visit him, 'cuz he scared that I'll get sick too..."

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Spiderpaw said. Normally he might have attempted to soothe her worries – even he understood the feeling of being worried for a sibling – but he was too focused on Leopardpaw and Blackpaw for the ginger apprentice to have his full attention.

Frostfeather flicked her tail, signaling for the sparring to begin, but neither she-cat moved. Leopardpaw and Blackpaw stared at one another, sizing each other up. Spiderpaw felt a flare of anxiety as he remembered that he hadn't warned Blackpaw not to make the same mistakes that he had when he'd faced the dappled she-cat. Luckily, Blackpaw seemed more cautious, for she was waiting for Leopardpaw to make the first move.

Spiderpaw's claws dug into the moss as Leopardpaw suddenly darted forward. Blackpaw moved almost too quickly for him to see; one moment she was in front of Leopardpaw, the next she was standing just behind her as the golden apprentice lunged. Spiderpaw resisted the urge to grin at the confusion in Leopardpaw's eyes, before it was quickly masked by her usual cool demeanor.

After that, the entire fight seemed to blur; both she-cats were jumping and diving and spinning around so fast that Spiderpaw's brain had a hard time keeping up. By the time he registered that Leopardpaw was trying to trip Blackpaw up, Blackpaw had already avoided her, and when he realized that Leopardpaw was going to leap onto Blackpaw's back, the black apprentice had already rolled out of the way. Blackpaw dodged every one of Leopardpaw's blows, and although it did not look easy – she was panting from the exhertion – her eyes glowed as brightly as ever. It began to dawn on Spiderpaw that she might actually do it: she might actually beat Leopardpaw.

_Dad can't miss this, he can't, _Spiderpaw thought. _Not after we both worked so hard...not after we spent all those nights training...not after Blackpaw realized what it meant to truly be a warrior, after Birchpool's death...he can't miss this for some stupid meeting. I won't let him._

Wordlessly, he rose to his paws. Robinpaw was too enraptured by the battle to notice as he turned away from the sparring apprentices and trotted back into the forest. The spindly branches cloaked him from sight within moments.

He broke into a run as soon as the Moss Clearing was out of earshot, trampling over the undergrowth without caring how much noise he made. He burst into camp, then let out a yelp as his nose collided with a wall of gray fur.

Stonestar blinked down at him, and Spiderpaw's breath caught as he realized he had nearly tackled PeakClan's leader.

"S-sorry," he stammered, backing up. Stonestar appeared bemused.

"What's got you into such a rush?" the gray leader asked. For once, Spiderpaw didn't have a snappy retort; as he stared up at the gray tom, it seemed like every word had somehow escaped his mind.

"I-I, er...looking for my father," he stumbled, his face burning as he realized how ridiculous he sounded.

"Your father will be along in a moment," Stonestar said, acting as though a tiny AshClan apprentice hadn't run headlong into him, as if they were just having a nice little chat. "Take a moment to catch your breath, son." He glanced over his shoulder, and Spiderpaw's face reddened even more as he realized that both Northstar and Blackmoon were staring at him. "Let's be on our way."

With that, Stonestar leaped through the camp entrance, followed by Blackmoon and Northstar. Northstar paused for a brief moment, blinking down at Spiderpaw, and Spiderpaw's heart sank with the certainty that Northstar recognized him as the apprentice that had sneaked into the last few Gatherings.

Northstar said nothing, however, and left the camp with his PeakClan comrades, allowing Spiderpaw a sigh of relief.

"What's wrong, Spiderpaw?" Eaglestrike asked, his yellow eyes glimmering with concern as he appeared in Silverstar's den. He strode to his son's side. "Did something happen?"

"I just wanted to make sure you didn't miss it," Spiderpaw meowed, wincing at how feeble his words sounded. "Blackpaw is doing really well..."

To his surprise, his father smiled. "Were you going to burst into the meeting and demand my presence, or what? I wasn't planning on missing the whole session. We just had to take care of somethings, that's all. It was an unexpected meeting. C'mon now, we've got to get back if we want to see the end." He nudged his son's shoulder, nearly making Spiderpaw topple over, before springing between the entrance's narrow opening. Spiderpaw rushed after him, not wanting to miss a single minute of Blackpaw's shining moment.

However, by the time they reached the Moss Clearing, things were looking grim. Spiderpaw knew almost immediately that something was wrong. Blackpaw was moving more slowly than she had been before; she was dodging Leopardpaw's blows by a whisker's width now, and the golden she-cat was already grinning in anticipation of her victory. It only took Spiderpaw a moment to see why; Blackpaw was favoring her right back leg, holding her left back leg up gingerly whenever she could.

_Did she twist it during one of her landings? _Spiderpaw thought, and felt a prickle of fear run down his spine. _That can't be it...one stupid injury can't take away her chance to become a warrior! It's not right!_

"What's the matter, Blackpaw? Not feeling so spry now, are you?" Leopardpaw purred, swiping at Blackpaw's face with her paw. Blackpaw flinched away, but Leopardpaw's paw still managed to graze her ear.

Spiderpaw clenched his jaw as his claws dug into the moss. He didn't dare look at his father's face, knowing the disappointment he would see there.

_Blackpaw, please, _he thought. _Please, please, _please _win this._

Blackpaw didn't rise to Leopardpaw's taunts, but it might just have been because her breathing was coming even harder than it had been before. Spiderpaw could almost hear the wheeze in her throat. The noise only made Leopardpaw's eyes glow even brighter.

Leopardpaw was taking her time now that the deputy had arrived, showing off her moves. She twisted with fluid grace to batter Blackpaw's hind legs, and laughed as she pushed the black she-cat's chest. Blackpaw tried to avoid the dappled she-cat's blows as well as she could, but with her injured leg hampering her, there was little she could do.

_Just end it already! _Spiderpaw thought, letting out a low hiss. _Stop humiliating her in front of everyone. Stop...stop acting like me. _

His last thought echoed in his mind like the ring of defeat, and his ears flattened at the memory of his sparring with Blackpaw. Then he had been angry, enraged by Reedrush's assumption that he would be an easy opponent because of his lack of experience and small size. He had made Blackpaw look like an incompetent fool. The memory sickened him.

Something shifted in Leopardpaw's eyes, and Spiderpaw realized that she was growing bored of playing with her prey. She was ready to finish Blackpaw off and rejoice in the conquering of the black apprentice. With practiced ease, Leopardpaw stretched out her front leg, sending Blackpaw sprawling. Leopardpaw into the air and landed as gracefully as a feather, perched atop Blackpaw. Blackpaw managed to wriggle onto her back, but with her injured back leg, she didn't have the strength to kick the dappled apprentice off. Leopardpaw had won, and she knew it.

The golden she-cat turned, and for a brief moment her emerald gaze locked with Spiderpaw's. His stomach rolled at the sheer arrogance and pleasure he found in her eyes, but he couldn't look away and give her the satisfaction of knowing how Blackpaw's loss threatened to topple him.

Then, Spiderpaw saw the smallest flicker of movement as Blackpaw's head turned, so that she too was staring at him. He looked into her eyes' golden depths, and found no defeat or sadness there. Rather, there was something akin to triumph, and Spiderpaw's eyes widened as Blackpaw gave him the smallest of smiles.

He knew what she was going to do before she even moved, and a grin crept over his muzzle. Leopardpaw was still peering at him, and looked confused; her confusion grew further as Blackpaw shifted underneath of her. Leopardpaw pressed down onto the black apprentice's shoulders, pinning her down, but what she did not understand was that Blackpaw was not trying to get away. No, Blackpaw was merely lining herself up for the perfect strike. The perfect moment.

Leopardpaw's expression changed to one of confusion and pain as Blackpaw kicked upwards with devastating force. Blackpaw's seemingly injured leg had not been injured at all. It had been a farce, a tactic that had played on Leopardpaw's pride and self-assurance. Leopardpaw could not believe that she could be beaten by one so small and weak as Blackpaw, and it was that belief that was her undoing.

Leopardpaw flew into the air and landed in a heap. Before she could rise to her feet, Blackpaw was on top of her, clinging to her like a bird on it's perch. With one back leg, she swept Leopardpaw's legs out from under her as the dappled tabby struggled to rise. Leopardpaw toppled onto her side, and Blackpaw shifted her weight so that one paw rested on her shoulder and the other on her legs, ensuring that Leopardpaw would be unable to move.

Disbelief was evident on Leopardpaw's face for a moment. Her eyes met Spiderpaw's once more, and the disbelief gave way to twisted rage. She snarled and thrashed, but Blackpaw remained strong, waiting out Leopardpaw's struggles with enduring patience.

"Get off of me!" Leopardpaw snarled. "Get off of me this instant, you runt, you whelp, you kit! Let me go!"

She spat into Blackpaw's face, but still Blackpaw did not flinch. Spiderpaw let out a hiss of anger, and prepared to spring, only to find Eaglestrike blocking his path.

"Blackpaw, let her up. Your assessment is complete." Eaglestrike was smiling, and his voice was like warm honey as he blinked at the black apprentice. Blackpaw quickly released Leopardpaw, springing backwards. Leopardpaw let out another hiss, but Blackpaw ignored her, going so far as to turn her back on the golden she-cat as she awaited Eaglestrike's judgment.

"I'm afraid I didn't get to see the entire battle, but from what I gleaned you are indeed a capable warrior," he purred. "You moved with speed and accuracy, and you clearly had a strategy in mind. Your ploy was very clever; such a thing would not be reliable in a real battle, but here it worked very well. I'm proud to say that you have passed your assessment, Blackpaw."

"No!" Leopardpaw spat, her fur bristling. Her green eyes were wild and glittering as she stared at the deputy. "I pinned her! You saw! I pinned her down and she couldn't get away. You should have ended it right then. It was just luck!"

"Leopardpaw-" Frostfeather started, but Leopardpaw ignored her. She was angrier than Spiderpaw had ever seen her. She looked half-crazed, burning with rage at the supposed humiliation of being defeated in front of her peers. Spiderpaw knew that it had never even entered Leopardpaw's mind that she could be beaten by anyone but a capable warrior, like Fireblaze.

_And when he beat her before, as apprentices, she didn't take that well either, _he remembered. _She doesn't know how to take defeat. She can't let go of her pride, and she can't see that this spectacle is more demeaning than any loss in battle..._

"And you didn't give me a chance to get away!" Leopardpaw protested. "You sat there and waited for her to escape, but you didn't let me do anything! I could have gotten away easily, I just thought I had more time-"

"Leopardpaw, control yourself!" Frostfeather ordered, her own voice ringing with anger. "I didn't train you to act so disgraceful. Blackpaw won fairly; Eaglestrike and I could both see what she was planning. It's okay for you to have missed it, you're still learning. Your assessment is still moons away, and there's no shame in not being able to defeat Blackpaw."

"She—you-he was—" Leopardpaw's argument became little more than incoherent sputtering as her gaze darted from her mentor, to Eaglestrike, to Blackpaw, to Spiderpaw, and back to Frostfeather.

Blackpaw blinked back at Leopardpaw. "It's okay," she mewed. "I've been training for a lot longer than you, that's all. Like Frostfeather said, a warrior wouldn't have had a hard time seeing what I was doing. And now you can recognize it too, so that next time you won't be caught unawares."

Leopardpaw gaped at Blackpaw as if the black apprentice had just given her the most vile of insults. Then, without warning, Leoaprdpaw let out a feral snarl and charged at Blackpaw. Her paws were outstretched and her claws gleamed brightly in the sunlight as she prepared to rake them over Blackpaw's face.

A ginger streak plowed into Leopardpaw's side, sending her flying over the thick moss. She rolled several times, letting out a hiss of pain. Fireblaze was on her in seconds, pinning her to the ground. A deep, terrible growl was coming from within his throat, and Spiderpaw felt a prickle of fear, wondering if a brawl was about to break out.

"Leopardpaw!" Eaglestrike's voice was sharp. "Stop this immediately! Fireblaze, keep here there."

He stalked towards her, his tail bristling. "Leopardpaw, this is disgraceful. I understand your frustration at having lost a battle, but Blackpaw is correct. She's trained twice as long as you have, including some sessions with myself, and even took extra lessons from Spiderpaw. She's older than you and more prepared; you shouldn't see any shame in losing to her. Acting in such a way has both shamed you and your mentor."

Leopardpaw said nothing. She only glowered up at him, her muzzle twisted with anger. Fireblaze was still growling, his claws digging into her shoulders.

"I'll leave it to Frostfeather to decide your punishment, for now. I do not want to see this happen again. Are we clear?"

Leopardpaw seemed tempted to bare her fangs, but with Fireblaze pressing on her rather insistently, she nodded.

"Let her up, then, Fireblaze. Frostfeather, go ahead and take her back to camp."

Fireblaze seemed reluctant to let her go, but he allowed her to pull herself free of his grasp. Frostfeather stepped forward and shepherded Leopardpaw away; the golden apprentice did not look at any of the others.

Eaglestrike let out a quiet sigh, before turning back to Blackpaw. "You're uninjured, correct?"

Blackpaw nodded; she seemed shaken, but her eyes gleamed as bright as ever. "Yes, sir, I'm fine. She didn't touch me."

"Good. Let's get back to camp. I think it's been more than long enough for you to be named a warrior." Eaglestrike smiled, before flicing his tail and leading the group out of the clearing. Blackpaw beamed with pride as Fireblaze hurried to her side.

Spiderpaw was grinning despite the shocking end to the sparring session. He trotted towards Blackpaw, ignoring Fireblaze entirely.

"I knew you could do it," he purred, pressing his nose against her shoulder as they walked into the forest, following the gray deputy.

Blackpaw seemed to flush underneath her dark fur, although it was hard to tell for certain. "Thanks. I was a little scared when I saw you weren't there, but I remembered what you said about the perfect moment, so I came up with the plan...were you getting your father?"

He nodded. "Yeah. He was just coming out of a meeting when I got into camp."

"Did you see Stonestar and Northstar?"

Spiderpaw reddened at the memory. "Er, yeah...I'll tell you about it later today."

"Tomorrow," she reminded him. "Tonight I'm sitting my vigil. I won't be able to say a word."

Spiderpaw blinked as he realized the sun was setting; the sparring had gone on far longer than he had thought.

_And so did the meeting, _he realized. _I wonder what sort of a decision they reached...hopefully Silverstar will finally be able to eat some of the snowberries and get well. Her intentions are noble, but the last thing we need right now is a weakened leader. I'm sure my father would be eager to step up to the task of leading the Clan, but he and Silverstar have known each other all their lives...he doesn't like seeing her sick any more than I do._

They entered camp, and Spiderpaw's pelt prickled as he felt stares on his pelt. It wasn't only Blackpaw that the Clan was observing; it was him, too, for his part in helping Blackpaw become the warrior that she should have been moons ago. Her success was his success too, and the Clan knew it. He allowed a small smile to creep over his face, enjoying the attention.

Eaglestrike sprang onto the BranchPile, but he didn't need to call the Clan to attention. Almost everyone was already present; even Silverstar and Jaypaw hovered in the entrance to the den. Spiderpaw looked for Leopardpaw, but couldn't see her. He assumed that she had retired to the apprentice den, since Frostfeather was sitting beside her sister. Ravenwing smiled as she saw her son, and he blushed with embarrassment as she beamed at him.

"I think it's obvious what we're all here for tonight," Eaglestrike meowed, and a low purr rippled through the gathered cats. "Blackpaw, please come up here."

Blackpaw strode forward, confidence gleaming in her golden eyes. She lifted her muzzle up towards Eaglestrike, the dying sun glistening on her ruffled pelt.

"Reedrush isn't here, so I cannot ask her if she feels that Blackpaw is ready, but I am certain that if she was here today she would see what both Frostfeather and myself have seen: Blackpaw has matured into a fine warrior and it is time for her to be named as such."

He paused for a moment, and Spiderpaw's eyes slid towards Silverstar. He wondered how she was feeling, seeing her deputy christen a warrior; giving warrior names was one of a leader's most prized duties, and he couldn't imagine that the feeling was pleasant. Still, he didn't blame her for not being perched atop the pile of branches; Silverstar seemed drained by the meeting with the PeakClan cats, and she was leaning on her mate for support.

"I, Eaglestrike, deputy of AshClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn.

"Blackpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

Blackpaw blinked up at Eaglestrike, absolute certainty reflecting in her sun-gold eyes. "I do."

"Then, by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Blackpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Blackfeather. StarClan honors your kindness and grace, and we welcome you as a full warrior of AshClan."

Eaglestrike bent down to rest his head atop Blackfeather's as she licked his shoulder, before the she-cat drew back. Fireblaze opened his mouth to chant his sister's name, but Spiderpaw beat him by half a second.

"Blackfeather!" he yowled, and the rest of the Clan joined him in the chant. "Blackfeather! Blackfeather! Blackfeather!"

Blackfeather glowed with pleasure and pride as she blinked at her friends and Clanmates. She seemed to be at a loss for words, and even if she wasn't bound by her vigil Spiderpaw doubted she would have known what to say for the ringing chorus.

"Blackfeather will sit her vigil in silence tonight, and protect all of AshClan," Eaglestrike purred, then sprang down from the BranchPile. He touched Blackfeather's shoulder in congratulations, before padding towards his mate.

"I didn't think I'd ever see her earn her name," Fireblaze said. Spiderpaw's ear swiveled as he heard the ginger tom's approaching footsteps. For once, he didn't tense at the sight of Fireblaze's glowing fur or amber eyes.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you tackle Leopardpaw to the ground," Spiderpaw replied. "I thought you liked her."

"Yeah...but no one can lay a paw on my sister and get away with it. You saw that first-paw." His amber eyes slid to Spiderpaw's face, and Spiderpaw met them without fear. He didn't say a word, and Fireblaze shifted his weight. Spiderpaw withheld a smile as he realized that the warrior was uneasy.

"I might have...overreacted a bit, concerning Blackpaw—I mean, Blackfeather—and you. If it wasn't for you, she wouldn't be a warrior."

"I can't take all the credit," he replied. "It was Birchpool's sacrifice that opened her eyes."

Fireblaze shook his head. "No, it was more than that. Blackpaw realized you were gone, she was caught off guard there for a moment, and I saw something in her eyes...it was just as much you as it was Birchpool. She really likes you, although I can't fathom why."

"Me neither," Spiderpaw said, and a smile quirked the edges of Fireblaze's mouth.

"I guess I forced her to learn to deal with insufferable toms," he chuckled. "Still, getting used to her being able to take care of herself is going to be difficult. I know she doesn't like me being so overbearing, and I've promised her that I'll do my best to curb it...but if I need help doing so, I need to know there's at least one cat that'll call me out on it."

Spiderpaw was taken aback. Fireblaze seemed earnest; there wasn't a hint of malice or a hidden threat in his voice, for once.

"I think I can do that," Spiderpaw replied, and allowed himself to grin at the ginger tabby.

"Don't think it's a free pass to insult me whenever you please," Fireblaze meowed. "Try to temper yourself. I haven't promised not to be overbearing with _you_, after all."

Spiderpaw purred, but felt the need to say nothing more. For once, he didn't feel like whipping out a snappy retort or a quick quip. All he wanted was to watch the sun go down over the trees as Blackfeather's dark silhouette hovered near the entrance of AshClan's home.

**AN: Sorry this is so late! I've been busy with scholarships and projects and the like, and then I was feeling terribly blocked while writing this chapter for some reason...it also turned out a lot longer than I'd intended. Ah well. .**

**Anywho, I use -feather for very gentle, kind cats who are graceful and swift (but might be a bit too shy/quiet for their own good), all of which is 100% Blackpaw. So yay.**


	37. C h a p t e r 36

**C _h a p t e r _36**

The next few days seemed to pass very quickly for Sootpaw. There wasn't much for her to do, since she was confined to the makeshift medicine den, but Bluepaw kept her occupied. They talked for hours about Sootpaw's dreams and what they might mean – although when any other cat entered the den, Bluepaw would quickly switch to telling a funny story instead, so as not to look suspicious. Sharing the knowledge of the dreams with Bluepaw made Sootpaw feel calmer than she had in a long time; for once the burden was not resting squarely on her shoulders. She knew that Bluepaw was a bit of an odd medicine cat, but she could still think of no one better to help her when she really needed it.

Her dreams were uneventful. Chillpaw seemed to realize that Sootpaw was in no mood to talk about Brightstar, and he had not visited her, nor had she dreamed of the journey cats. She hoped it meant that the rest of their journey would be easy and uneventful, but she had a feeling that Fogheart and the others would be paying her a visit when her group finally began moving again.

They didn't see any sign of the rogues, beyond a few scents and crushed ferns. The rogues seemed to be keeping their distance, for the moment, although Sootpaw knew it was likely that they would try to avenge their fallen leader if they had any scrap of loyalty in them. The journeying group was eager to leave the area, but they wouldn't get far until they rested.

Resting seemed to be all that Sootpaw was doing. She was itching to train, of course, but Bluepaw insisted that she needed time to recover. Part of Sootpaw wondered if it was only because Bluepaw seemed so interested in Sootpaw's dreams; they spent hours upon hours dissecting them, until Sootpaw was nearly exhausted.

They were in the middle of one such exchange when an opportunity for Sootpaw to stretch her legs finally presented itself.

"So, if you have another one of those dreams, you really need to tell—" Bluepaw broke off suddenly and her ear swiveled backwards. She winked at Sootpaw - the signal for an approaching cat - before meowing, "And that's why you should never roll in nettles."

Sootpaw's whiskers twitched - she was willing to bet that at one point in her life Bluepaw truly had rolled in nettles - but she said nothing, flicking her gaze towards the entrance to see who Bluepaw had heard. It was lucky that Bluepaw's hearing was so good; Sootpaw's wasn't, and on at least three occasions it was solely thanks to Bluepaw's ears that they weren't caught whispering about Sootpaw's dreams.

Sootpaw's ears pricked as Reedrush's silver head ducked into the makeshift medicine den."Morning, Reedrush."

"More like afternoon, I'd say, but then you probably haven't stuck your head outside all day," Reedrush purred. "I bet you're bored out of your mind."

"Oh, we find things to do," Bluepaw mewed, shooting a conspiratorial look in Sootpaw's direction. Sootpaw tried to keep a straight face, but it was difficult with the medicine apprentice's eyes twinkling at her.

"I'm sure, but you're still itching to train, aren't you?" Reedrush asked. "I've been thinking, and I've come up with an activity that should interest you."

"Sootpaw needs her rest, so it can't be too stressful," Bluepaw interjected. Reedrush flicked her ear.

"Of course. It's pretty simple, really. It shouldn't be much trouble at all for her, and if she gets tired then she can take a break. Would you like to come, to keep an eye out for her?"

Bluepaw shook her head. "No thanks. I need to gather some cobwebs anyway. I think I'll ask Rook to come with me. I need a big tom to protect me." She grinned at Reedrush, and the silver tabby laughed.

"We've got to make him earn his keep, since he eats quite a bit," she replied. "Perhaps we should bring him along too, Sootpaw, do you think?"

Sootpaw blinked, wondering what exactly Reedrush intended for them to do. She shrugged. She welcomed the opportunity to learn more about Rook, considering that he would be on the rest of the journey with them, and might even join AshClan when all was said and done.

"Sounds like a plan. Come on, then, we shouldn't waste daylight." Reedrush flicked her tail and ducked out of the den. Bluepaw and Sootpaw exchanged glances.

"Be careful, and try not to overexert yourself, okay?" Bluepaw asked. Sootpaw nodded, then rose to her paws, wincing at the stiffness in her shoulders. She followed Reedrush out of the den.

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the harsh sunlight. She hadn't left the den for much other than making dirt in the past few days. Reedrush didn't seem to have noticed that her apprentice had stopped; she was padding towards Rook and Nightingale, who were sharing a pigeon.

"Hey there, you two," Reedrush purred. "Sootpaw and I are leaving to do some training, and we wanted to know if you'd like to come with us. I think it would be good for you, since the skill we're practicing is not one that you'd come by in Twolegplace."

Rook and Nightingale glanced at one another. "What's the skill?"

Reedrush grinned. "It's a surprise. You'll have to come and see."

Rook frowned. "I don't like surprises."

Reedrush shrugged. "Your loss, then. Come on, Sootpaw."

Sootpaw blinked, surprised that Reedrush wasn't attempting to persuade either rogue, but followed her anyway.

"Just wait," Reedrush whispered, giving Sootpaw a wink once Rook and Nightingale couldn't see them. "They're both pretty curious, they won't be able to resist. I'd say in about three seconds we'll hear-"

"Hang on!" Rook exclaimed, and Sootpaw smiled as she heard the pounding of his large paws over the earth, followed by Nightingale's considerably quieter pawsteps.

Reedrush gave Sootpaw a mischievous smile, before plunging into the undergrowth.

. . .

"When we were exploring the territory after Rainwind's burial, we discovered a few reasons why Adder claimed this territory, besides the ridge between the two sides of the Thunderpath," Reedrush meowed as they pushed their way through the brush.

"Like what?" Rook growled, wincing as a thorn snagged his thick cat. Instead of trying to detach it from his fur, he kept going, leaving a clump of dark brown hair behind.

"You should be more careful," Sootpaw mewed. "If the rogues were tracking us, they would use signs like that to find us pretty easily."

To her surprise, Rook's lip curled. "I don't need the advice of a bumbler like you. You nearly got yerself killed in our last scuffle, and from what I've heard you've had even less trainin' than Nightingale or me. Yer still wet behind the ears."

Sootpaw's ears flattened, and Reedrush glanced over her shoulder at the ex-kittypet.

"Sootpaw hasn't had a mentor, and she didn't do well in the battle, but she still has a point," the silver tabby mewed. "Leaving your fur everywhere and stumbling around like a lopsided badger makes us very easy for the rogues to find."

"Let 'em find us. We fought 'em off once, we ken do it again," Rook growled, puffing out his chest.

Reedrush's eyes darkened. "We managed last time...but last time, we had one more cat than we do now."

Sootpaw felt a pang of guilt; it was her fault that Rainwind wasn't at their side now. She ducked her head, unable to look at the ex-kittypets or Reedrush.

The earth began to slope underneath of their paws, and the sound of rushing water met Sootpaw's ears, although she couldn't see the source through the thick trees. She realized that the Thunderpath was more muffled than before; the sound had become part of the background since they were spending so much time near it, but now it was almost completely absent.

"Look," Reedrush meowed, and Sootpaw craned her neck back to follow Reedrush's line of sight. Her eyes widened as she stared up at the strange formation.

The Thunderpath was high, much higher than it had been before. The Twolegs had somehow created an incredible bridge, held by three stone pillars. Sootpaw looked again towards the slope, wondering what obstacle the Twolegs had been forced to build over.

"Come on," Reedrush meowed, springing down the side of the hill. Rook and Nightingale pounced after her, leaving Sootpaw to follow more slowly. She didn't want to risk reopening any of her old wounds.

The sound of water became louder and louder, and Sootpaw blinked as she finally made out the shape of the source through the brush. It was a river, easily twice the size of the one that RiverClan had attempted to cross in her dreams. It was a dull brown color, and seemed still and slow on the surface, but there were hints of a dangerous undercurrent.

"Come on, don't dilly-dally," Reedrush mewed. Instead of continuing down the slope, she turned and began heading to the right. The others followed her, although Sootpaw's shoulder complained about having to support her against gravity as they walked side-ways on the hill.

"The river branches off in a few places, and this is one of them," Reedrush meowed as a small stream came into view. It was slightly more clear than the dark river. "It's safer to drink here than on the bank – the river is higher than usual and it's eating away at the bank, as Thistlethorn found when he nearly tumbled in – and there are other bonuses, too."

"Are we going to get wet?" Rook asked. "My fur takes forever to dry."

"Not if you're smart," Reedrush purred with a smile, and Sootpaw grinned as she realized what skill the silver tabby had in mind.

Reedrush sprang downhill to meet the little creek, looking up and down its bank before settling where it was fairly narrow and fast-flowing. She flicked her tail for the rogues and Sootpaw to approach. Sootpaw and Nightingale did so with caution, not wanting to spook the fish lurking under the water's surface, but Rook practically stomped through the mud.

"Sssh," Reedrush cautioned. "You'll scare them all away. The key to fishing is being completely silent. It's not all that hard, really. Sit down, you three."

The three young cats did so obediently; Sootpaw was the closest to Reedrush, and Rook was the farthest away.

Sootpaw blinked as she realized that the silver shapes had come back to exactly where they had been before Rook frightened them. They floated peacefully in the murky water, their fins waving slightly as their little mouths gulped. Sootpaw looked to Reedrush, feeling curious.

"Don't they see us? Aren't they afraid?"

"They can't really see above the surface too well," Reedrush said. "What spooks them is the tremors from our paws. That's why we have to be careful. It doesn't matter too much, though. Fish live in two states: in danger of dying, and safe. If they aren't in immediate danger, they're pretty relaxed, and they seem to forget any threat if you just remain still long enough. That's why fishing's a useful skill; you don't have to be strong or too fast. You just need a steady paw."

Sootpaw brightened at the thought that there might be something she could honestly be good at.

"Just watch and see how I do it. Then you can try too." Reedrush reached out with one paw, hovering over the water. The fish split where her shadow touched the water, but just as she said they seemed to relax as soon as they were out of the darkness.

_Shadows mean predators, then, _she thought, _and they think If there are no shadows, there's no predators, and therefore no danger._

Reedrush waited, then struck. Her silver paw flashed in and out of the water before Sootpaw could even blink. The gray apprentice yelped as a wet, scaly tail slapped her paw, and jerked back as Reedrush struck the flopping fish.

"Sorry," Reedrush said with a grin as she sunk her claws into the fish. The silver creature ceased its movements, its glassy eyes staring up at the sky. "Kinda got away from me there. They're slippery creatures.

"But, like I said, fishing is pretty easy, so long as you don't mind getting a little wet. Just sit and wait until they're close to you. Remember that there's the depth of the water to think about too; if they're too deep, the water will slow you down and you won't be able to grab them before they slip away.

"You guys want to try?"

Nightingale and Sootpaw both nodded, but Rook looked dubious.

"I don't want my paws to get all waterlogged," he said with a frown. "Doesn't seem worth the effort."

Nightingale twitched her tail against his flank and gave him an admonishing look. Then, she did something that Sootpaw didn't quite understand; she ran her paw over Rook's shoulder, before opening and closing her mouth twice.

Obviously the signs meant something, for Rook's green eyes darkened. "That was diff'rent, and you know it. They wasn't this nasty kind, and they didn't have those scales and junk, either."

Nightingale cocked her head to the side, fixing him with her wide blue eyes. Then, she reached out with her paw and placed it over his, giving him a pleading look. Rook's tail lowered against the ground, and Sootpaw knew that Nightingale had somehow convinced him even before he turned back to face the water and growled,

"Fine."

If Reedrush had any clearer idea of what Nightingale had just done than Sootpaw, she didn't show it. Instead, she simply smiled and rose to her paws.

"I'll let you three practice, then. I want to do some scouting downriver; I have an idea that would be pretty good for everyone, if you all are ready for it."

With that, the tabby queen turned and darted down the riverbank, her tail held high like a silver banner. Sootpaw watched her go, then turned back to Nightingale and Rook.

"First one to catch a fish gets a new bed of moss?" she asked tentatively. Rook didn't look up from the water, but Nightingale smiled and nodded.

Sootpaw's gaze flicked down towards the swiftly-flowing stream. She stared down at the fish, watching them float with serene calmness underneath the surface. They seemed unperturbed by the debris that the stream threw at them; they didn't flee from the leaves, pieces of algae, and other little objects that were tugged along by the current.

_It must be nice, not to have any worries, _Sootpaw thought, dabbing the surface absentmindedly and watching the ripples. The fish scattered when she touched the water, but returned within moments. _I bet none of them dream of evil dead fish and failed fish-journeys._

She drew up her paw and allowed it to hover over the surface of the water. The movement made her shoulder complain, but she ignored the twinge, focusing on the fish.

Most of them were gathered in a little silver clump, but some had drifted away from the bunch. One – an especially daring little fish, or perhaps only a stupid one – hovered close to her shadow.

She squinted, trying to gauge the depth. If she could strike it just right, she was certain that she could get it.

The fish shifted and its mouth broke the surface as it snapped at something she couldn't see. Knowing the moment was perfect, Sootpaw drew back for the strike.

Suddenly, ripples spread over the surface, and the fish went in all directions. Sootpaw turned to find Nightingale had a fish wiggling between her paws. The white-and-brown she-cat seemed startled and confused with what she should do with the strange, slimy creature.

Sootpaw squeaked with surprise as the fish slipped out of Nightingale's paws and into the air. Nightingale batted at it, but missed, and the fish flew towards the surface.

Sootpaw reacted quickly, slashing out with one paw, claws unsheathed. The tip of one claw hit the fish, and she felt a jolt of cold. The blow was enough to send the fish flying onto the bank, where Nightingale pounced on it again.

"Get it!" Sootpaw meowed excitedly. Nightingale stared down at the twitching fish a moment longer, before biting down and finishing it.

Sootpaw grinned as Nightingale looked up at her. Nightingale seemed a little shocked that she had been able to make the catch, but her face split into a wide, beaming smile.

"Nice one," Sootpaw purred. "Guess Rook and I will have to make you a new nest."

Then, Nightingale did another odd thing; she ducked her head and licked her chest, making a sort of scooping motion towards Sootpaw. Sootpaw blinked, feeling confused.

"She's thanking you," Rook growled, brushing his tail against her white flank. "She licks her chest because it's where her heart rests, and that motion is supposed to sort of push it towards you. Thanking you from the heart, sort of."

Sootpaw blinked. "So those things earlier...they were signs, of some kind?"

He rolled his eyes. "'Course. She's gotta to communicate somehow. We know each other pretty well, but even I cain't always tell you what she's thinkin'."

Nightingale's ears flattened, and Sootpaw realized that the fluffy she-cat was embarrassed. Sootpaw's ears lowered. She hadn't meant to make the ex-kittypet feel uncomfortable.

"I think it's neat," she said, and a shy smile spread back over Nightingale's pretty muzzle. "Could you teach me some of those signs?"

Rook frowned at her. "Nightingale only shows that sorta stuff to the cats that she trusts. Like me. We already know we can't trust you in a battle, so forget it."

He turned back to the water, frowning down at the fish as if trying to hypnotize them into letting him catch them. Sootpaw looked to Nightingale, but the white-and-brown she-cat simply smiled before trotting back to the bank as well, setting down her fish beside her with silent reverence.

Sootpaw took her place once more and staring into the shifting depths. The fish had returned, and they didn't seem to be missing their comrade at all. For some reason, this made Sootpaw feel oddly sad.

_They don't have to worry about their troubles much...but they don't seem to care for each other, either. Even mice take care of their young..._

She felt an odd stirring in her gut, almost like a cramp. Ravenwing rose in her mind, and Sootpaw realized that the cause was quite simple: homesickness.

_I guess I was kind of in a hurry to get away from it all...I was worried about them, and I knew they probably wouldn't take it well, but I couldn't let that deter me...what if they don't forgive me, when I come back? What if they're angry with me for running off and leaving them?_

Her ears flattened at the thought of never being to huddle against her mother's sweet-smelling fur again, to never see the pride in her father's eyes as he looked at her, to never again be warmed by Spiderpaw's small, often apologetic kindnesses.

She felt a tail brush against her own, but when she glanced over to Nightingale, the she-cat's blue eyes still seemed focused on the water. Then, Nightingale's front paw gave a slight tremor, and she smiled, although she still didn't turn her head towards Sootpaw.

Sootpaw glanced down towards her own paw, and blinked as she realized that one of the fish had again drawn near. A prickle of excitement ran down her back, but she forced herself to be patient and to allow the fish to drift closer to the surface.

For a moment, its head broke the water, and she struck. Her paw darted into the water, and she let out an involuntary gasp as her paw brushed the side of the fish. One claw managed to hook it and toss it into the air. Her yellow eyes followed the fish's flight, until she reared onto her hind legs and snagged it.

She topped onto her back with a yelp, but managed to hold onto her prize. She killed it quickly and rolled onto her side to find Rook and Nightingale both staring at her. Rook seemed nonplussed, but Nightingale appeared amused, and a giggle bubbled out of Sootpaw's mouth.

Nightingale covered her mouth with one paw as if to muffle a laugh, and Sootpaw couldn't help but giggle again as she tried to picture what her sloppy catch had looked like. Her back was coated in mud and both shoulders were complaining from her reaching up to grab the fish, but she didn't care. She was still laughing as she rose to her paws, and the laughter felt _good, _like it was welling up from deep inside of her.

Rook glanced between the two she-cats, clearly wondering what they found to be so amusing. Nightingale only twitched her whiskers at him, for she appeared to have regained her composure. Rook rolled his eyes.

"You've both got fish. Great. Maybe now that silver one will let us get back. I'm tired of squattin' in mud." He wrinkled his nose at Sootpaw. "Yer a mess."

"It will come off eventually," Sootpaw replied, feeling more cheerful than she had in ages. Rook only snorted and looked away.

Sootpaw's eyes darted back towards Nightingale, and she flicked her tail to regain the she-cat's attention. Carefully, Sootpaw licked her chest and 'scooped' her silent thanks towards Nightingale. Nightingale's blue eyes glowed and she dipped her head, before flicking her gaze to the stream.

"Hey, I'm back!" Reedrush chirped from behind them. "How's it going? Catch anything? Sootpaw, you're filthy. What were you doing?"

Sootpaw turned to find the silver tabby trotting towards them. Her paws were caked with mud, but her green eyes were radiant; she was obviously in her element, being so close to water.

"I caught a fish," Sootpaw said by way of explanation, feeling a bit sheepish. "Nightingale caught the first one, though. I think she'll be a really good fisher, once she gets some practice."

Nightingale deflected the compliment with a modest flick of her tail, although Sootpaw could see the twinkle of pride in her eyes. Reedrush purred.

"Excellent. How about you, Rook?"

"Fishing's for she-cats," Rook replied. "You three can stick with it, but I'm done. I'd rather hunt furry stuff."

"I think you're just unhappy to find something that you're not the best in," Reedrush teased. "I suppose you can still play a part, though. Come on, then, follow me."

She flicked her tail before bounding downstream. The others hurried after her, following her as she weaved through the thick trees that arched over the flowing water.

Mud soon coated Sootpaw's feet, but she didn't mind. It was cool and soothing, and mixed well with the atmosphere of the day. It was warmer than it had been in a long time. It was still a bit nippy outside, but her breath wasn't puffing out in front of her face for once. It wa sa good day for fishing, although she was willing to be that the chilly water was more pleasant in the blazing heat of greenleaf.

Reedrush led them to a place where the stream widened considerably, creating a large pool. The stream continued even further down, but it was narrow and flowing much faster than it had upstream.

"Look," Reedrush ordered, pointing with one paw. Sootpaw's eyes widened as she saw dozens of fish darting around the pool, nipping at what the stream's current brought to their waiting mouths. These fish were larger than those upstream.

"They don't like leaving the pool, but they will if they're spooked," Reedrush said. "the only place for them to go is down, so..." Her green eyes sparkled as she waited for them to put it together.

"We scare 'em downstream, is that it?" Rook asked. She nodded.

"That'll be your job. Just push in a rock or a stick or something, it doesn't have to be too extreme. The three of us will be standing there where the flow is really narrow, so we can catch the fish as they come through. It'll be fun." She grinned at them, looking happier than she had been in days.

Sootpaw smiled back. "Let's do it!" she exclaimed, and rushed to stand where the calm of the pool gave way to the rushing current. Nightingale flanked her, while Reedrush leaped over the narrow creek to stand on the opposite bank.

"Go on," Reedrush said to Rook. The fluffy brown-black tom glanced around, before spying a good-sized rock on the slope of the opposite bank. He sprang over, using a stepping stone in the middle of the stream, and braced his front paws against it. With a heave, the rock tumbled into the water.

Instantly the silver fish darted away, scattering in all directions. For good measure, Rook pushed some smaller rocks into the pool, herding the fish towards the she-cats.

Sootpaw was taken aback by their speed as the first couple fish whisked past her. They were like silver bullets as they streaked through the water, gone before she could blink.

She was ready for the next bunch. Her paw darted into the water with one fluid motion, scooping a fish into the air. Reedrush caught it in her claws and gave Sootpaw a wink before tossing it to the side. There was no time to make sure that the silver tabby had killed the fish; Sootpaw had to scramble to try and catch the remaining fish that were frantically swimming downstream. She managed to flip out two more fish, which Reedrush successfully retrieved.

With that, the tide was over. Sootpaw turned to find Nightingale had four fish tucked to her right as well; they were still twitching and gasping. Nightingale glanced them over, then scooted the smallest one back into the water.

"Good idea; some of these won't fill any bellies," Reedrush mewed, nudging one of her own catches into the water. "Here are your three, Sootpaw. They're all pretty decent-sized. I caught four too. That's nine in total. Not bad, not bad at all; one for everyone back at camp. Nicely done, you three! And you too, Rook."

Rook had crossed back over to their side of the stream. Nightingale passed him her two fish before grabbing one of Sootpaw's. Sootpaw smiled in thanks, and took the other two she had managed to catch in her jaws. She wrinkled her nose at the strange taste; they didn't eat much fish in AshClan, and she was unused to the slimy feel of their scales and the oily taste. Still, they would be filling, and such prey was hard to find when the weather was chilly.

"Come on, then, we should be getting back," the silver queen meowed as she bent to grab her own catches. Reedrush sprang away, quickly disappearing into the brush, leaving the younger cats scrambling to follow.

. . .

"We're back!" Reedrush exclaimed as they entered the shabby camp. Her voice was muffled by her fish, but she was loud enough for every cat to hear. Bluepaw's head popped out of the den, and she smiled to see that Sootpaw had returned.

"Fish?" Bluepaw asked, bouncing forward. "Eww, gross, Sootpaw! Aren't they all icky and slimy?"

Reedrush tweaked the blue-gray's nose with her tail, looking cheerful. She dropped the fish to the ground, and the younger cats copied her. "They're slimy, yes, but packed full of energy to keep us all going. We should get moving again very soon, but right now I think we could all use a full belly! Sootpaw, Nightingale and Rook helped me catch these fine fish, and we should thank all of them."

The other journeying cats had uncurled from various spots within camp. They approached slowly; Thistlethorn bent his head to sniff the fish.

"Smell fine to me," he announced. "Thanks, you three, and Reedrush too. We went hunting earlier but hardly found a thing. Rogue scent was all over the place, so it's definitely time we left. I bet that big brown rogue has already taken charge of the group, and there's no reason to stay." He grabbed one of the fish in his jaws and stepped back. The other cats quickly came forward.

Sootpaw pushed two of her fish towards Bluepaw and Sage as they approached, beaming with pride. Bluepaw looked dubious but took hers anyway, and the two medicine cats went to sit together, followed after a moment by Brackenpaw.

Rook and Nightingale slipped away as well, and Reedrush went to share tongues with Rabbitleap, leaving Sootpaw and Swanpaw staring at one another.

The gray apprentice looked down and realized with confusion that there was only one fish left.

_But there were ten, and there's ten of us, right? _She thought, feeling puzzled. _There should be two left._

Glancing around in confusion, she spotted the problem: Rook was nibbling on one fish, but a second fishtail poked out from underneath one of his large paws.

_He didn't even help, _she thought, but she didn't want to chastise him in front of everyone. Swanpaw was still watching her. The ginger-and-white apprentice's icy blue eyes were narrowed as they flicked down to the fish before she looked back up to Sootpaw. Swanpaw lifted her chin, trying to seem disinterested in the fish, but she did not step away.

Sootpaw's stomach let out an insistent gurgle, at the same moment that Swanpaw's rumbled. Swanpaw's ears flattened and for a moment she weakened as her tongue flicked over her muzzle.

Sootpaw winced as she remembered what Swanpaw had said to her before, about Rainwind's death being her fault. Those words had clawed her like no other insult could, and she knew that Swanpaw had chosen them only to wound her. Still, as much as Sootpaw hated to admit it, Swanpaw had saved her life. The tortoiseshell rogue wouldn't have hesitated to kill her.

Sootpaw smiled, and pushed the fish towards Swanpaw with one paw. Swanpaw's eyes widened with surprise, but Sootpaw didn't say anything. Instead, she ignored the growling of her belly and walked away, heading towards her friends.

"Hey, Sootpaw, these aren't half bad!" Bluepaw said through a mouth full of fish. "Didja already eat yours?"

"Swanpaw got the last one," Sootpaw said as she sat down beside the blue-gray apprentice.

Brackenpaw frowned. "That's too bad. Here, have a little of mine." He nosed the scraps towards her, and she ate them gratefully.

"I let her have it," she said, then purred as Sage pushed his remaining portion towards her as well. She gulped it down as well; it wasn't much, but it would tide her over until the following day when they could fish again before they set off to continue their journey. "I knew I'd have you guys to help me out, at least. She's kind of all alone."

Brackenpaw rolled his eyes. "It's her own fault. She won't give anyone the chance to. Believe me, we've all tried in PeakClan. She's never really let anyone in, even before her sister got sick."

Sootpaw glanced over her shoulder towards Swanpaw, who was curled up in the corner of camp, eating alone. Sootpaw considered inviting her over, but knew the ginger-and-white apprentice would only decline, probably with a parting insult. Instead, she shrugged. "If she wants to be alone, let her. Eventually she has to realize that she can't do everything herself."

"Or a fox will eat her," Bluepaw joked, and the four apprentices purred in amusement.

The group chatted until the sun went down. Then, they parted ways, as Sage and Brackenpaw went to retire for the night and Bluepaw herded Sootpaw back into the medicine den.

Sootpaw's stomach gave a half-hearted gurgle as she curled up in her chest. She frowned as she remembered that she hadn't helped Nightingale get a new nest as she had promised.

_Tomorrow, _she promised, resting her muzzle on her paws.

"Night," Bluepaw murmured beside her, shifting to press her nose against Sootpaw's flank.

"Night," Sootpaw whispered back, and closed her eyes, allowing herself to slip away.

. . .

"_Hey," Moonpaw mewed. Sootpaw smiled at her._

"_Hey," she said back, before glancing around them. They were once again shrouded in mist. "I'm guessing Chillpaw's coming?"_

_Moonpaw tilted her nose towards the swirling fog. "Yeah. He should be on his way now that you're asleep. I think he's alone."_

_Sootpaw was surprised. "I would have thought that he would bring Brightstar again. It didn'tend so well last time."_

"_I know, I was there," Moonpaw reminded her with a playful roll of her bright blue eyes. Sootpaw flicked her tail against Moonpaw's dark nose, then blinked as she saw Chillpaw's ghostly, flickering shape. _

_Moonpaw bounced towards him and touched his nose, allowing the white tom to fully materialize. The mist around them peeled away, and the clearing that Chillpaw had dreamed up before appeared around them. _

_Chillpaw frowned, and the forest scene disappeared, replaced swiftly by another forest entirely. This one was thinner, with slender, silver-barked trees and sparse brush._

"_What's this?" Sootpaw asked, glancing around. She tilted her head back to stare up at the bright blue sky. There wasn't a cloud in sight._

"_Let's walk while we talk," Chillpaw said, drawing her eyes back down. She blinked as he turned and padded away without waiting for her to follow. She felt a prickle of irritation, but pushed it back; whatever he was going to show her had to be important._

_She hurried to catch up, loping beside him in an attempt to match his stride. His ear swiveled towards her as she approached, and one icy eye rolled back in her direction._

"_How are you?" he asked as she drew up next to him. "I know we didn't part on the best of terms before. I hope you're feeling better now."_

"_Sort of, I guess," she said. "I'm still not feeling really good about Brightstar...but I shouldn't be mad at you. You warned me at the start of all this, and I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to help."_

_He didn't say anything else, and for a moment there was an awkward silence between them, until she asked,_

"_So, um, how are you?"_

"_Adequate," he answered. "I have been a little fatigued as of late, but I anticipated that. Blight has informed me that the tip of my tail has started to fade when I enter the sleep-state. Our projected time of arrival at the Pool of Eternal Night is well within the space of time that it would take for me to fade, however, providing that we are not attacked again, so there is nothing to worry about."_

_She wasn't quite sure what to make of his answer. As usual, it wasn't what she expected from him, but as usual she was kicking herself for expecting anything different. "What's a sleep-state?"_

"_Didn't I tell you before? Perhaps it slipped my mind. Here, we cannot truly sleep. We only go into a period of unconsciousness. It's more habit than anything. We're simply used to it. Staving it off causes anxiety and exhaustion, and eventually we'll fall into it whether we want to or not. We can't rally be sleep-deprived, any more than we can be hungry or thirsty."_

_That surprised her. "You guys don't get hungry or thirsty at all? Even without prey or water?"_

"_There's no prey in the Dark Forest, and although there is water to be found, we cannot drink it. But no, we do not get thirsty or hungry. We get very, very, close, almost tantalizingly so. It's another one of the more torturous aspects of the Dark Forest. The Dark Forest is so bleak and devoid of any stimulation that some cats eventually begin to crave any sort of experience, even of pain. Thirst and hunger would normally be outlets for this, a sort of sensation that most cats would describe as allowing them to feel truly 'alive.' We are denied this."_

_Sootpaw's ears flattened. She couldn't imagine what it would be like. "That sounds terrible. I bet you're always craving your favorite prey, huh?"_

_Chillpaw blinked as if he didn't quite understand what she had just said. "My favorite prey?"_

"_Yeah, you know, the kind you like the best," Sootpaw mewed. "Don't you have one?"_

_Chillpaw cocked his head to the side. "It's strange. Bluepaw once asked me the same question, although she was only a kit at the time."_

_Sootpaw's whiskers twitched at the thought. "Well, what did you tell her?"_

"_Nothing. I rarely spoke to anyone during my time in AshClan. I didn't feel the need. I had a mission to focus on, and talking to my so-called Clanmates wouldn't help me in that endeavor."_

_She winced at the mention of his 'mission.' She had relived his success too many times to count. "Well, if you were the type to talk to cute little Bluekits, what would you have said? I mean, you've got to have a favorite something...favorite prey, or favorite weather, or favorite color...there's got to be _something _that makes you hap—" She broke off as she realized the problem._

"_Have...have you ever been happy?" she asked, feeling tentative. The question would have been nonsensical to anyone but the icy tom._

_He seemed to mull it over, as though he was truly trying to remember a single instance in which he had felt any sort of joy._

"_I have known contentment," he said finally. "I remember being content with my sister and mother when I was young. And I was satisfied while in Lion's care. I was pleased with myself when I fulfilled my mission in taking one of Silverstar's lives. But happiness...No, at least not in the manner that it is described by others. I've never felt that 'warm glow' or 'inner fire' or however you want to put it." His eyes seemed to grow misty for a moment as they drifted towards the azure sky. "Have you?"_

_Sootpaw thought of her exchange with Nightingale, and nodded. "Yes, of course. Many times. It doesn't always have to be a glow...sometimes it's just a feeling, like a sort of tingle...you can feel it in your stomach and your heart and it runs over your fur..." _

_She felt like she was trying to describe a color to a blind elder, or birdsong to a deaf kit. Chillpaw was looking at her without any gleam of comprehension or understanding, and she felt another tremor of pity for him, just as she had when they had played together in the snow._

"_I suppose that's as good a description as any," Chillpaw said. "Everyone seems to have different words for it. It must be a confusing thing, happiness."_

_She blinked into his blue eyes. "Have you ever really tried to be happy before?" It felt like such a stupid question, but he didn't laugh or mock her._

"_I would be lying if I said I had not, but my efforts were mostly fruitless," he answered. "The closest I seem to be able to get is when everything is in balance...when I owe no debts. Right at the moment of my death, when I thought that I was even with Lion, when there was nothing holding me back, I believe I laughed."_

_Sootpaw flinched at the memory of Chillpaw's ringing laugh that had echoed over the camp. "That wasn't happiness, at least not the good kind. That was something...else. Something bad."_

"_It doesn't matter. Whatever I was feeling at that moment was incorrect. My debt to Lion was not yet paid, as I found shortly after arriving here. But we'll get to that later. We're here."_

_Sootpaw blinked, realizing that they were in another clearing. In the center of the clearing was a large, round, still pool. Four streams flowed into it, from North, South, East, and West. It seemed oddly familiar to her; she had never seen it before, at least not that she could remember, but she could swear that she had heard of it before._

"_Where are we?" she asked. "Is this another memory?"_

"_Indeed. It is another from my time with Lion, but do not worry. He will not appear again." Chillpaw padded to the edge of the pool, and stared down at it. Even as he approached, a ripple did not cross the still water's surface. Sootpaw followed him with caution._

"_This is from the old forest, where BirchClan resided," Chillpaw meowed. "This is the FourPool, where the four Clans used to speak to StarClan. I came here with Lion."_

"_Why was Lion at FourPool? I doubt he wanted to speak to StarClan," Sootpaw said with a frown._

_Chillpaw blinked down at the water. "He wanted to ruin it, to ensure that no Clan cat could ever use it again. He succeeded."_

"_So, why are we here? We can't talk to StarClan through the memory of the pool, can we?" Sootpaw wondered. Chillpaw shook his head._

"_I only used the memory to craft the pool. The effects I created myself; anything's possible in a dream, after all. Allow me to demonstrate." _

_Chillpaw reached out with one paw, and allowed it to rest on the water. A single ripple spread over the glasslike surface, changing Chillpaw's reflection to another image entirely. Sootpaw leaned forward, curious despite herself, watching the image take shape._

_It was of a patch of familiar forest; from the trees, Sootpaw guessed that it was AshClan's territory. And yet, there was something strange about the image. It was bright, almost icy in appearance; everything seemed to hold an unnatural sharpness. Sootpaw could see the vein in every leaf, ever contour of the trees' bark, every bug crawling over the dark floor. It was as if every detail of the scene had been captured in perfect, startling quality. The effect was disorientating, and Sootpaw took a step back._

_Chillpaw lifted his paw, and the image faded away. "I'm sure the view is confusing for you. I apologize."_

"_What was that?" Sootpaw asked, giving a shake of her head to clear her mind. "It was like our forest, but it was...wrong. I mean, it was right, everything was exactly right, but that in itself was wrong...I don't know how to explain it."_

"_The pool allows me to broadcast a memory," Chillpaw mewed. "It projects the scene exactly as I saw it. The way I see things is different from you. Here, try it. It's easier to see before I explain."_

_Sootpaw gave him an anxious glance, feeling almost afraid to touch the water, but she stretched out her paw. An icy jolt ran through her as her paw brushed up against the icy water._

"_Focus on a memory." Chillpaw's voice was soft as he murmured into her ear. "Any memory you like."_

_Sootpaw blinked, thinking of AshClan's forest. She remembered her first patrol, with Reedrush and Blackpaw. It felt as though it had happened eons ago._

_She started with surprise as she realized that the surface of the pool had changed. Her eyes widened as she saw the forest, exactly as she remembered it; she saw Reedrush padding through the forest with the two apprentices behind her. It was as if Sootpaw was an outside observer, watching herself reenact the scene._

_Her image was different from Chillpaw's. The picture had a certain fuzziness to it, almost a blurriness. The edges of the image were fuzzy, like an old photograph._

_She removed her paw, and looked to Chillpaw. "Why was mine different? Mine was softer, not as bright."_

"_As I said, the pool takes the memory exactly how we experienced it," the white tom replied. "When you pictured the memory, you were not only remembering the scene. You were remembering your own emotions, how you felt at the time. You thought of your fondness for the two she-cats, and your wishing for a simpler time. Your emotions blurred the picture, just as they do in your memories. What you see in your mind when you think of a cat is not exactly how they look; their image is colored by your own feelings._

"_Every cat is the same way. It's the way you all work. You don't take in every detail; that would be unnecessary. You remember only what you need. You remember the mood of the scene and the cats in it, or at least how you see them."_

"_And you don't see everything the same way," she realized. "You don't feel the way the rest of us do...so you don't 'blur' the memories the way we do. You remember every single detail. That was why it seemed to strange...because it was perfect. It seemed even clearer than life."_

_She stared at him for a long moment, and his blue eyes held hers. _

"_So...when you remember things, in your own mind, it's exactly like that? Nothing's ever blurred, or out of focus? Everything is crystal clear?"_

_He dipped his head. "Yes. Every detail is perfectly captured."_

"_That's amazing," she breathed. "I mean, it must feel pretty overwhelming at times, but to be able to remember even the smallest things...exactly how something looked, or smelled, or tasted..."_

"_It can be a bit...much." For a moment, his gaze faltered and fell to his paws. "It's difficult to block out sometimes, and hard to focus. But I manage. In some ways, the darkness in the afterlife is a gift..." He shook his head, and his gaze hardened. "Either way, you won't be seeing much from me for some time. The reason I am showing it to you now rather than later is because of Brightstar."_

_Sootpaw's tail bristled at the mention of the ginger-and-white she-cat. "What about her?"_

"_I know you don't feel that she should get a second chance. She still seems like a monster to you. But I think if you could see something real – something that she did not create simply to make herself feel more secure – it might help you emphasize." He tilted his head to the side. "Is my hypothesis correct?"_

"_I don't think she would want to show me anything like that, as vain as she is," Sootpaw mewed, her yellow eyes darkening. Chillpaw smiled._

"_We will not tell her," he said, and for a moment he looked smug. "Brightstar is a master of manipulation, and she believes she can shape anything to fit the truth that she wants to believe. She might even have convinced herself that she lived a perfect life...but the pool will expose her flaws. She will think she can control it, and she will be wrong."_

_Sootpaw's eyes widened at the tantalizing possibility. "Do you think you can get her to come here?"_

_He chuckled. "I know I can. I take it that you're willing?"_

_Sootpaw nodded. "Yes, of course! I want to see the real Brightstar, and if you can make it happen, I'd love to help."_

"_Tomorrow, then," he said, and flicked his tail. "You should get some rest."_

"_I don't feel tired when you visit me here," she said. "You can stay, I don't mind. You need to conserve your strength anyway, right? Being here is easier for your body or spirit or whatever than being in the Dark Forest."_

_He cocked his head to the side. "Are you sure?"_

_She nodded again, and he dipped his head to her. "Thank you."_

_Sootpaw smiled. "No problem at all." She twitched her tail against his flank, feeling playful now that the possibility of fixing her issues with Brightstar was apparent. She grinned as she had an idea._

"_Want to play Fox and Rabbit?"_

_He showed no trace of recognition. "What is that?"_

"_You've never played? I should have guessed. Well, it's pretty easy. I'm the Fox, you're the Rabbit. I try to catch you. Okay?"_

"_I'm not sure I see the point in this game," he said. "Any fox would be able to catch a rabbit with minimal effort...and you are not even orange, nor am I gray."_

_She rolled her eyes. "That's why it's a game. It's just pretend...and it's fun! Come on. Didn't you say you had tried being happy before? Maybe playing a game would help you."_

_Chillpaw's icy eyes bored into her. "Do games make you happy?"_

"_Yes, of course. That's what they're for. Friends play them together and they bond and it makes them happy." It felt incredibly strange for her to have to explain the concept of playing to anyone; again Chillpaw reminded her of a lonely kit, and she felt a flutter of sympathy._

_The white tom's tail flicked from side to side, and he seemed to be weighing the merits of the game. "Fine. I'll play."_

"_Awesome!" Sootpaw dove forward before Chillpaw could react, and nipped his shoulder. "Got you! Now you're the Fox, and you've got to catch me!"_

_He blinked at her with bewilderment, but she only laughed before turning tail and charging into the forest._


	38. C h a p t e r 37

**C _h a p t e r _37**

"Wake up."

He didn't respond.

"Come on, rise and shine, Spiderpaw. Please get up."

He let out a low groan, and - without opening his eyes - rolled onto his other side. He heard her sigh, and felt her warm paw rest on her back.

"Come on, Spiderpaw, please. You promised." There was a pleading note to her voice, and he let out a low groan.

"I didn't promise anything. Go away, let me sleep."

"Yes, you did," she insisted. "You came back from training and you looked tired and I said 'Robinpaw said you didn't sleep well,' and you said 'Yeah,' and I said that she said you tore up your nest, and you said 'Yeah' again. So I offered to get you a new nest, but only if you would promise to get up with me the next morning. That morning is this morning. You promised!"

"It's the crack of dawn. I'll do it tomorrow, alright?"

"It's before dawn, really...but you promised." Her voice was low and sad; she sounded like an abandoned kit. He rolled over to peer at her with one eye, and found that she was staring at him. Her golden eyes were wide and pleading, and he felt his resolve melt.

"Fine," he said, heaving a sigh. "Stop looking at me like that. Let's get this over with."

Her eyes glowed with delight, and she nuzzled his cheek. "Let's go!"

He rolled his eyes as her feathery black tail whisked out of the apprentice den, following her at a snail's pace. She was already halfway out of camp by the time he left the den. He picked up the pace so he wouldn't lose her, despite sleep clouding his mind.

The forest was completely silent as he sprang out of the den. They were awake even before the birds, it seemed. He felt a prickle of exasperation; he had no idea why she had dragged his tail out of his nest.

"Blackfeather, were are you?" he called, and her furry face peered at him from underneath a fallen log.

"Come on, sleepypaws," she chided. "We've got to hurry, or we'll miss it. And be quiet! We can't make too much noise or we'll have to try again tomorrow."

She had a playful gleam in her eyes, and he knew it would be pointless to ask her what they were doing stumbling around the forest before the sun rose over the horizon. A shiver ran down his body from nose to tail; it was a chilly morning. A thin layer of frost coated the forest floor and weighed down the last few dead leaves hanging from the branches above their heads.

Blackfeather led him through a twisted maze of frozen branches and crunching leaves. He couldn't figure out where they were going; it wasn't the fastest way to any landmark that he knew, and he couldn't imagine what else she would be looking for. Sometimes she seemed like as much of a scatterbrain as Bluepaw or Sootpaw.

"Where are we—" he broke off as a massive yawn wrenched his jaws apart. "Where are we going?"

"I told you, sssh!" she shot over her shoulder, before lowering herself to the ground. "Get down, and hush. We're almost there."

His ear twitched with irritation, but he obediently flattened his belly against the earth and crept after her. She wiggled underneath another log, twitching her dark tail at him as she disappeared from view. He followed suit – for once he was rather grateful for being small, since it was a bit of a tight squeeze, and leaping over would have made too much noise – and frowned as he saw that she was staring up at an ash tree.

It looked like any other ash tree in the entire forest; it wasn't especially large or small, didn't have any remarkable branches or other markings, and it was as barren as any other. The only feature that separated it from the other nearby trees was a small nest in one of the medium-sized branches.

Blackfeather was peering up at the nest with interest; she glanced over at him and smiled, before beckoning for him to approach. He sat down beside her and stared up at the bird's nest.

"What's in it?" he whispered. "If you're planning on sharing it with me, you're going to have to catch it. Then I'm going back to sleep."

Blackfeather purred. "Just wait a moment. We're right on time, see?" She turned her head, and Spiderpaw followed her gaze to find the edge of the sky was a pale blue. The sun still hadn't appeared, and Spiderpaw's eyes felt heavier than ever.

His ears pricked as the nest above their heads crackled; the bird was stirring. Glancing at Blackfeather, he saw her golden eyes glowing with excitement.

_This had better be some bird, _he thought, then blinked as the waking bird sung two notes. They seemed to echo over the barren silence, entwining with the branches and floating up into the hazy sky.

The nest was silent again, leaving Spiderpaw feeling befuddled. He looked to Blackfeather, and was surprised to see that she was grinning. Her face fell slightly as she saw he hadn't enjoyed the chirp as much as she had.

"I don't get it," he said, his voice flat.

"It's the very first song of the day," Blackfeather mewed. "That bird is the very first one to get up every single day! We just heard the very first notes to be sung today."

"So?"

She rolled her eyes. "Just wait."

He looked upwards again just as the bird sang out once more. The notes lingered in the air; then, his ear swiveled as another bird answered, chirping three times in succession before falling silent. It was followed by another short song, and another, until the morning air was filled with the sounds of birds greeting one another.

He blinked, then yawned, ignoring Blackfeather's expectant look until she nudged him with her shoulder.

"Okay, okay, I'll admit that was pretty cool," he meowed. "Maybe not worth getting up before the crack of dawn, but whatever."

"It's our secret though, okay?" Blackfeather whispered, giving a furtive look over her shoulder. "Not everyone can appreciate the magic of the morning's first bird."

He couldn't help but smile. "Okay, I promise. Can we go back to sleep now?"

Blackfeather twitched her whiskers at him. "Fine, but you're the laziest apprentice I've ever seen."

With one last look up at the nest, she trotted back the way they had come, and Spiderpaw followed her like a slim shadow.

The forest was still quiet on their way back; the silence was only broken now and then with the solitary chirping of birds above them. Spiderpaw was willing to bet that the first bird was more impressive during newleaf, when there were more songs to be heard. Still, it had been oddly sweet of Blackfeather to show him something that she obviously valued very highly, even though he would have liked to get some more sleep.

A sudden crackle in the brush made him freeze; Blackfeather had heard it too, for she shot him a look of concern.

'A patrol?' she mouthed, and he shrugged. They weren't on the regular route of any patrol, at least not that he knew, and it was unlikely that the dawn patrol would be up so early anyway. The sun was still barely peeking over the horizon, and AshClan warriors were a bit notorious for being slow to rise these days.

There was another rustle in the brush, and Spiderpaw tensed as he heard hushed voices. Opening his mouth, he tried to scent for the source, but could only smell the odd dampness of mud. His eyes narrowed. Mud definitely wasn't a good sigh. The only reason any cat would be covered with mud would be if they were-

"Intruders," Blackfeather whispered, her golden eyes wide with fright. "What do we do?"

Spiderpaw flattened himself to the ground. Their next actions would depend upon who was in AshClan's territory, and why. If it was rogues, then they were in serious trouble. If it was PeakClan, though, he felt confident that they could drive them off. PeakClan was softer than AshClan; that was just a fact of life.

A broad golden head pushed through the brush, and locked eyes with Spiderpaw. For a moment, both toms were frozen in place, before Spiderpaw let out a low growl.

"Goldenshine, right?" he hissed, and rose to his paws, fur bristling. "I remember we ran into each other on patrol a few days ago, isn't that right?"

"You were one of the cowering apprentices," the golden tom said icily. "Good to see you again." He turned his head. "There's just two of them, and one's a scrawny apprentice. It won't be any trouble for us."

Two more cats pushed their way through the den branches, appearing on either side of Goldenshine. One was a ginger tom, the other a thin brown tabby.

Spiderpaw's mind was working quickly. Goldenshine's words implied a fight, and the fact that the three warriors were coated in a dense layer of mud didn't bode well either. He wasn't sure what the PeakClan cats were after, but it definitely wasn't good for AshClan.

"What are you three doing here?" he asked, trying to sound bold. "I didn't think rolling in mud was exactly your thing, and you certainly shouldn't be our territory right now."

"We're not here to pick a fight," said the ginger tom. Spiderpaw recognized him as Volewhisker; he was the father of one of the journeying cats, Swanpaw, as well as the father of the apprentice that had been afflicted with the chilling disease and died. "We have no quarrel with AshClan. We merely want to retrieve what is ours by right."

"The snowberry plant," Blackfeather murmured, and Spiderpaw's ears pricked with surprise.

"I thought Stonestar agreed to leave it here?" he asked. "Silverstar was more than willing to share the berries with him."

"The berries we received were not enough," Goldenshine growled. "There are too many ill cats for the berries to be split evenly. We need more of them, and we need them now. PeakClan has the right to them. We're taking the plant back."

Spiderpaw bristled. "You can't do that! AshClan and PeakClan had a deal. Besides, we were just as much a part of getting the plant as you were! Jaypaw brought back one too, although it was destroyed in the battle."

"The only remaining plant is Northstar's, and since he is a member of our Clan, it belongs to us!" Goldenshine snarled. "Get out of our way. We don't have time to quibble with kits."

"We aren't just going to let you take what isn't yours!" Spiderpaw growled, moving into a defensive position and readying himself for attack.

"We don't want to fight you, but we will if we must," Volewhisker said. His voice was soft, and he sounded almost mournful. Then, his eyes glinted with determination, and his gaze hardened. "Our Clanmates are suffering, and we will do whatever it takes to ease their pain."

Spiderpaw looked to Blackfeather, making sure that she was on his side; he smiled as he saw that she was just as ready for battle as he was. "Come at us, then."

Goldenshine's yellow eyes flicked to the two toms that flanked him, and he crouched, preparing to strike. "Twigstripe, you can handle the apprentice. Volewhisker and I will take care of the she-cat."

The tabby tom gave a nervous duck of his head, and Spiderpaw locked gazes with him. Twigstripe looked nervous, but to his credit he held Spiderpaw's eyes unwaveringly.

The skinny tom suddenly lunged forward, and Spiderpaw ducked to the side to avoid the blow. He turned quickly and met Twigstripe's next strike with his own. They hissed and clawed at one another before breaking apart and facing each other, both spitting. Spiderpaw's shoulder stung, but the wound wasn't deep. He had clawed a patch of fur off of Twigstripe's chest, but hadn't done any other apparent damage.

Twigstripe sprang again, and as Spiderpaw dodged he realized that what he had always heard about PeakClan warriors was true. They were not well-trained, and were used to living without many struggles. Before AshClan had come into the forest, PeakClan had held the only claim to the vast territory, and had no enemies to speak of. Even now, a year later, they weren't as well-adapted as AshClan warriors.

The realization heartened him, and he struck back at Twigstripe. The tabby attempted a clumsy block, but Spiderpaw twisted around to sink his claws into the tom's shoulder. Twigstripe yelped and batted at his ear, but Spiderpaw held firm despite the tom's flailing.

The black apprentice was suddenly torn away as someone plowed into his side. He was sent sprawling, tumbling head over paw until he struck a thin tree trunk. Reeling from the blow, he staggered to his paws to find Volewhisker staring him down.

_Blackfeather?_ He thought, and turned, his green eyes flicking around in search of the dark she-cat. To his surprise, he found her in a low tree branch, spitting down at Goldenshine. He frowned, feeling puzzled; surely she hadn't fled into the branches for her own safety.

Volewhisker certainly seemed to think so, for he had turned his attention back to Twigstripe. He helped the tabby tom get to his feet.

Goldenshine was watching Blackfeather with mild bemusement. Daring to look away from Twigstripe and Volewhisker for another moment, Spiderpaw looked to her and found that her yellow eyes were continually darting between Goldenshine and Volewhisker. The golden tom seemed reluctant to pursue her into the tree, and Volewhisker was paying her no heed. If Blackfeather was attempting to seem nonthreatening, she was succeeding.

Spiderpaw realized what Blackfeather was going to do moments before she did so. In helping Twigstripe, Volewhisker had turned his back on Blackfeather, who seemed to be cowering; by doing so, he left himself open to attack. Blackfeather leaped out of the tree, landing squarely on Volewhisker's back. The force of her leap knocked the ginger tom to the ground, and Spiderpaw heard him let out a grunt of pain.

Twigstripe and Goldenshine both hissed with surprised and moved to tackle the black warrior, but Spiderpaw darted forward. He leaped at Twigstripe, landing on his back and digging in with his claws before throwing himself at Goldenshine. He overshot the golden tom, but managed to slash him with his back claws as he flew over. Twigstripe fell with a hiss of pain, and Goldenshine twisted around to focus on the apprentice.

Spiderpaw wanted to make sure that Blackfeather was alright, but Goldenshine was advancing upon him now. The golden tom was bigger and more confident than Twigstripe, and Spiderpaw sensed he would be a more dangerous opponent. The black apprentice watched him with caution as Goldenshine sized him up.

"A little more than we bargained for, I dare say," Goldenshine growled; his voice was low and silvery. It would have been pleasant, were it not for the ugly snarl twisting his face.

It was then that Spiderpaw realized why Goldenshine had seemed so familiar before. It was his voice that gave him away; it was the same voice that he had heard that night when he had stumbled upon Shimmerfrost and the tom she had been meeting.

Spiderpaw took a step back, reeling from the realization that the haughty tom had been the one that Shimmerfrost had been spending her time with. Goldenshine took advantage of his confusion and dashed forward, feinting right before striking at Spiderpaw's left. Spiderpaw managed to block the blow, but it unbalanced him and Goldenshine managed to strike him on his other shoulder and knock him down.

The golden tabby was on him immediately, slashing at his stomach with thorn-sharp claws. Spiderpaw let out a yowl of pain and kicked upwards, but Goldenshine was nearly twice his size, too large for the black apprentice to kick off.

Spiderpaw's back arched with pain as Goldenshine sank his teeth deep into Spiderpaw's shoulder. The dark tom went limp in his grasp, and Goldenshine pulled back, thinking he had won.

"You shouldn't have taken us on," he growled, swiping his tongue over his scarlet-flecked muzzle. "I told you, we're on a mission. Nothing can deter us."

He turned his head to see how Twigstripe and Volewhisker were doing, and Spiderpaw sprang to his paws, leaping at the golden tom's throat. Goldenshine couldn't react in time, and Spiderpaw managed to push him back a few paces. He bit down, and Goldenshine howled with pain, swiping at Spiderpaw's chest and flank with his claws. Spiderpaw let go and rolled away, scrambling to his paws to prepare another attack.

He nearly leaped out of his fur as a battle cry sounded from behind them; turning around, he saw a gray form charging through the undergrowth. It ran into Goldenshine, knocking him off of his paws completely. The golden tabby hit the ground with a grunt of pain and the gray tom pinned him down, before looking to Spiderpaw. His golden eyes blazed with anger.

"Spiderpaw!" he barked. "Are you alright?"

Spiderpaw's heart leaped as he realized it was his father. Then, he heard the thundering of paws, as Stormshadow, Petalcloud, and Blizzardpaw entered the fray. They charged at the remaining two warriors – who were both bleeding in various places now, thanks to Blackfeather's speed – with unsheathed claws and gleaming fangs.

It was obvious that the PeakClan toms were outnumbered and outmatched. They both turned tail, disappearing into the forest, leaving Goldenshine behind. Goldenshine stared up at AshClan's deputy, frozen with fear.

"You can tell Stonestar that we will not tolerate intruders in our territory, alliance or no alliance," Eaglestrike snarled down at him, "and you will think twice before attacking my son again."

The gray tom's claws flashed, and Goldenshine wailed as his claws pierced the golden warrior's ears, slicing two deep gashes. Eaglestrike sprang back, releasing him, and Goldenshine raced away, caterwauling as he fled after his comrades.

"Go after them, make sure they cross over the river," Eaglestrike ordered, and Stormshadow, Petalcloud, and Blizzardpaw dashed off in pursuit. Eaglestrike's attention turned back to Spiderpaw and Blackfeather once more.

"Are you two alright?" he asked, his tone more gentle. Spiderpaw nodded, then looked to Blackfeather, and was relieved to find that she only had a few shallow gashes on her flanks.

"We heard the noise while we were patrolling," Eaglestrike meowed as he padded to his son, sniffing him over before licking his ear. "Thank StarClan we did. I know you two wouldn't have let them pass without a fight...you're too loyal for your own good." Relief shone in his eyes as he blinked down at Spiderpaw, mixed with pride. Spiderpaw's heart grew warm at his father's concern, and he leaned against his father's chest for a moment before remembering why the PeakClan warriors had been in their territory in the first place.

"They were after the snowberry plant," he said. "They said a lot of cats were sick and they needed all the berries they could get."

"It sounds like a lot of cats are suffering," Blackfeather murmured. "They would have kept fighting until they had beaten us or we fled, of that I am certain. I know Volewhisker, and he's a good cat, but protective of his family. This was not an act of aggression against AshClan, but a necessity, or at least he believes so."

Eaglestrike flicked his tail from side to side, looking pensive. "We'll relay that information to Silverstar. You two should get back to camp. Tell Shimmerfrost what happened, and Silverstar too, if she's awake. I'll be back with the rest of the patrol momentarily."

His gaze lingered on Spiderpaw for a moment longer, and Spiderpaw nodded to assure his father that he was alright. Eaglestrike quickly licked his son's ear again, making Spiderpaw flush with embarrassment, before wheeling around and heading after the patrol.

. . .

"What did you two get into?" Shimmerfrost asked with a frown as they entered the den. "Have a lover's quarrel?"

Spiderpaw and Blackfeather exchanged glances; Spiderpaw was confused, but to his surprise, Blackfeather seemed embarassed.

"Nothing like that," Blackfeather mumbled. "We were attacked by PeakClan cats."

Shimmerfrost's icy eyes gleamed with interest. "PeakClan cats? Why would they attack us?"

"What's that?" a low voice rasped. Spiderpaw turned to find Silverstar watching them. Her silver head was resting on her paws, as if she didn't have the strength to hold it up, and her back legs were splayed behind her. Her blue eyes were dull as she stared at the two young cats.

Spiderpaw's ears flattened. Silverstar seemed frail, and he didn't know how the news of the attack would affect her. "A group of PeakClan cats attacked us. They wanted the snowberry plant. Blackfeather and I held them off, and then Dad's patrol heard us and came to help." He glanced to Shimmerfrost, and his eyes narrowed. "Their leader seemed to be a cat named Goldenshine. Do you know him?"

Shimmerfrost's expression didn't betray her relationship with the golden tom. She shrugged. "The name sounds kind of familiar. I've probably seen him at a Gathering." She tilted her head to Silverstar. "You should go back to sleep. Eaglestrike will have it covered, and he can inform you about the aftermath later."

Silverstar shook her head, and attempted to sit up. She managed, but there was a slight tremor in her legs as a cough wracked her body. "Why did PeakClan want the plant? We negotiated with them just a few days ago, and gave them quite a few of the berries."

"Volewhisker said their Clanmates were still suffering," Blackfeather mewed. "The berries aren't the cure, but they seem to help...are you feeling better? How's Jaypaw?"

Spiderpaw blinked as he realized he hadn't seen the gray apprentice. Looking around, he finally spotted the young tom curled up in the corner of the den. He seemed tiny with his nose pressed against his tail, and he coughed in his sleep.

"The berries have made me feel better," Silverstar answered. "Shimmerfrost says we aren't as feverish as we were before, but..."

Spiderpaw knew the reason for her uneasiness. From what he had heard, a cat afflicted with the chilling disease at first had a high fever that gradually went down. Eventually the cat's temperature would plummet, as if they were being frozen from the inside, and they would die. Silverstar and Jaypaw's fevers breaking might mean that the berries were having some effect, but it could also mean that Northstar had returned to late to save them.

_We'll know soon enough, _he thought with a shiver.

"Who were the others on the patrol?" Shimmerfrost asked.

"It was just the three of them: Goldenshine, Volewhisker, and Twigstripe," Blackfeather mewed.

"I doubt they were acting on Stonestar's orders," Silverstar murmured. "He would have sent more warriors, for one..." She blinked at the two of them, and it seemed that her gaze had cleared somewhat as she smiled. "It seems like you two had quite a struggle. Taking on three enemy warriors is very brave of you. I'm sure Eaglestrike will mention it to the Clan later today." Her blue eyes flicked to Spiderpaw. "Eaglestrike is very proud of you."

Intimidated by his leader's gaze, Spiderpaw's eyes slid to his paws. "I know," he mumbled, and felt Blackfeather press her pelt against his.

"It doesn't matter. You two shouldn't be in here, not with the sick cats. You might catch the chilling disease yourself, if you haven't already" was Shimmerfrost's optimistic reply. "Go to the nursery and wait for me there."

Spiderpaw and Blackfeather ducked back out of the den and trotted towards the nursery. It was empty now; Robinpaw had returned to the apprentice den a few days ago, and Darkstorm and Stormshadow had both made their way back to the warrior den. A sense of normalcy had come over the Clan now that the member of the patrol that had been attacked by rogues was back to full health, but this recent development would shake the Clan once more.

_Can't make things easy for us, can you? _Spiderpaw thought, shooting a glance up at the ambiguous sky as he followed Blackfeather into the nursery.

The air was still clouded by the faintest scent of blood, and he repressed a shudder. Even when the sick cats had been cured and everything would go back to normal, he wasn't sure the nursery would be used to house kits and queens. There was a dark air that hung over it now; death whispered in the shadows, a morbid reminder of Birchpool's passing.

"Did Silverstar seem a little..." Blackfeather trailed off, and Spiderpaw blinked at her.

"A little what?" he asked, wondering if Blackfeather thought their leader was getting better or worse.

She shook her head. "Nothing." Her yellow eyes were clouded by confusion, but she looked away from him before he could inquire further.

His ear swiveled as he heard Shimmerfrost's soft pawsteps. She slunk into the den, clasping a bundle of cobwebs and various herbs in her jaws.

"Lie down," she ordered and began checking them over, starting with Blackfeather. Spiderpaw closed his eyes as Shimmerfrost ran her paws through his fur. Goldenshine rose into his mind, and Spiderpaw's jaw clenched with certainty. It had definitely been Goldenshine with Shimmerfrost that night, of that much he was certain. But why had she been there with the golden tom at all? He sincerely doubted it was for love. Shimmerfrost's heart seemed to be just as frozen over as her brother's, and Goldenshine hadn't seemed like anything special, and he certainly wasn't warm enough to thaw her icy spirit.

He wanted to find out more, but he was afraid. It would be dangerous, obviously. Medicine cats were not to be crossed, especially ones that were as strange as Shimmerfrost. She seemed devoid of compassion or kindness; she did her duty with silent precision. Spiderpaw had always head that medicine cats were supposed to interact with their patients, that they were supposed to be calm and soothing cats that would listen to troubles as well as heal, but Shimmerfrost did not embody any of those ideals.

_Why did she even become a medicine cat in the first place? _He thought, then bit his lip as one of her paws found a deep gash. _Only the older cats even remember her becoming a medicine apprentice, I suppose...maybe I'll ask Mother. After all, she was almost a medicine cat herself, so she would know the most about it..._

Shimmerfrost applied some sort of poultice to his wounds before wrapping them tightly in cobwebs. She did the same for Blackfeather, before giving them both a nod. "There you are. None of your wounds are too serious, but I'd recommend taking it easy for the rest of today, and perhaps tomorrow as well. If you're in pain – and I do not mean stubbed-your-toe-on-a-branch pain, I mean jaw-clenching-hissing-through-your-teeth-pain – you can come to me and I'll give you something for it. Otherwise, steer clear. Wouldn't want you two getting sick. Got it?"

Blackfeather dipped her head, and Spiderpaw copied her.

_That's another reason she'd be dangerous to cross. Medicine cats are the only ones that can take away our pain, and she might decide to give me something other than a poppy seed if she finds out what I know..._

Shimmerfrost whisked out of the den and Spiderpaw and Blackfeather followed her. Shimmerfrost went back into her den, ignoring the stares of her curious Clanmates that had emerged from their dens. Once the silver tabby had disappeared, their confusion turned to Spiderpaw and Blackfeather.

"What was that about?" Robinpaw asked, limping towards them with a sleepy yawn. "What happened to you two? You look terrible!"

Spiderpaw opened his mouth, then remembered that he had promised not to talk about Blackfeather's bird. He glanced towards the black she-cat, waiting for her to make up an explanation.

"I woke up kind of early and couldn't sleep, so I went to see if Spiderpaw would hunt with me," Blackfeather lied. She did so surprisingly well, but Spiderpaw reminded himself that she had kept the secret of being the moss-thief away from him for moons. Blackfeather was better at subterfuge than he would have thought.

"Before we managed to find anything, though, we were attacked," Spiderpaw injected.

"By who?" Blizzardpaw asked, his blue eyes wide. He had come to stand beside Robinpaw, and she leaned against him absentmindedly.

"PeakClan," Blackfeather meowed. "I'm sure Eaglestrike will explain more when he gets back, but basically—"

Spiderpaw allowed his attention to wander as Blackfeather rehashed the battle. A few other cats had trickled over to listen – Frostfeather, Redpaw, and Darkstorm – but he didn't pay them any attention. He was looking for one cat, and he spotted her on the very fringes, grooming herself.

He watched the golden she-cat twist around to lick her shoulder; with that, she seemed to have finished, for she rested her head on her paws. She was staring ahead of herself at something; following her gaze, he saw she was watching Fireblaze, who was heading forward to hear his sister's story.

No one was paying Leopardpaw any attention. No one was looking to her, or offering to share prey, or sitting beside her simply for companionship's sake. She was completely alone.

_I bet she misses her 'ginger oppressors' now that they want nothing to do with her, _he thought.

As if sensing his gaze, Leopardpaw's green eyes darted towards his. They narrowed, then looked away again so that she was staring intently at nothing.

Spiderpaw let out a quiet sigh. It was a familiar scene, one that he knew all too well. After Sootpaw had left, there had been no one in the Clan that wanted anything to do with him. It was mostly his fault, he could see that now, but he hadn't known it _then, _and he was willing to bet that Leopardpaw didn't know it either...or wasn't going to admit it to herself.

_She could be a good warrior, if she knew what that meant, _he mused. _She's strong, fast, and stealthy. She's a good hunter and a good sparring partner as well. If she would try to become part of the Clan instead of fighting against it, she could earn her warrior name a moon ahead of time...but she can't control herself. She thinks of her Clanmates as enemies, or rivals, and when things don't quite go her way she completely loses it, like when she attacked Blackfeather..._

_But I had Bluepaw to help open my eyes, before she left. It's partially due to her advice that I have any friends at all, I suppose...and now I've got Blackfeather, Jaggedclaw, and Petalcloud. Leopardpaw doesn't have anyone like that to help her. I'd guess Frostfeather's tried, but Leopardpaw probably pushed her away like everyone else._

He tapped his tail against Blackfeather's flank, and she stopped mid-sentence to look at him.

"I'll be right back," he said, ignoring the stares of the others, before padding towards Leopardpaw.

The golden she-cat looked his way again as he approached, before stubbornly redirecting her gaze to the camp's entrance. He sat down beside her, unsure of what to say.

"Are we going to spar tomorrow?"

Her emerald eyes shot towards him, and the surprise on her face was evident. They hadn't sparred together since Blackfeather became a warrior; Petalcloud had been demanding all of his time, partially because she was grateful that he had helped her daughter earn her warrior name, and partially because she feared she had neglected him.

Her eyes narrowed. "Are you sure? I'm dangerously unhinged, or so the rumor goes." Bitterness dripped from each word, and he felt an odd stirring of pity. Leopardpaw had brought her isolation upon herself, but she wouldn't acknowledge it.

"I think dangerous cats make the best sparring partners," he replied, and she rolled her eyes.

"Go away. I don't know what you really want, but I'm not interested," she growled. "You can rejoin your friends and act like a war hero now."

He snorted. "Fireblaze and I still aren't friends. Call it an uneasy truce. I'm sure I'll do something to tick him off again pretty sure." He cocked his head to the side. "Besides, he's fonder of you than of me. You stepped over a line – attacking his sister was probably the worst thing you could have possibly done – but if you apologize, he'd get over it. I don't think Blackfeather holds anything against you, and she'd put in a good word if I asked her to. This could all blow over fairly easily, if you'd try."

Her lip curled. "I don't need Fireblaze, thank you very much, and I certainly don't need your meddling. Unlike you, I'm not concerned with my popularity in the Clan. I don't need them."

He opened his mouth to refute her statement, when someone else interrupted him.

"Aw, how cute! The two crazy little freaks have grouped up together."

It was obviously Redpaw. There was no confusing that loud, obnoxious voice.

"Hey!"

Spiderpaw's ears flattened; that was Fireblaze, chiming in as usual. He turned, fur bristling, expecting to find both ginger toms glaring at him, only to blink as he realized that Fireblaze's exclamation had been directed towards Redpaw.

"We talked about this," Fireblaze growled, advancing upon the smaller ginger cat. "Spiderpaw and I have things squared away. Talk about _her _all you want, but no starting trouble with him."

Redpaw seemed bewildered, but he flattened his belly to the ground in an act of submission. Fireblaze's eyes narrowed, and it seemed that he was disgusted by his lackey's cowardice.

"Apologize," he ordered. Redpaw's fear gave way to indignation for a moment, and Spiderpaw thought he might object, but under the force of Fireblaze's burning gaze he crumpled.

Redpaw's face burned with shame as he looked back at Spiderpaw. "Sorry," he mumbled, before looking back up to Fireblaze hopefully, seeking forgiveness. Fireblaze rolled his eyes and growled something that Spiderpaw couldn't hear. With another look towards Spiderpaw, Redpaw slunk away towards the fresh-kill pile.

Spiderpaw was bewildered by the turn of events, even more so when Fireblaze gave him a little nod before returning his attention to his sister.

He licked his chest, trying to calm himself down, and flattened his fur. Clearly, Fireblaze was sticking to his earlier promise. Spiderpaw had expected that. What he hadn't expected was for Fireblaze to step in on his behalf against one of his own followers.

"So, er, anyway, I expect to see you tomo—" He had returned his attention to Leopardpaw, only to find that the she-cat had disappeared. Turning towards the entrance, he glimpsed a dappled tail disappearing from sight.

_Let her run,_ he thought, twitching his whiskers with irritation.

His stomach gave a quiet growl, and he glanced towards the fresh-kill pile to make sure that Redpaw had already chosen his prey. The ginger apprentice was next to Fireblaze, having delivered unto the warrior a vole, so Spiderpaw approached the fresh-kill pile and selected a dove.

He trotted towards the elder's den, peering inside. "Are you awake?"

"With all the ruckus, how could I not be?" was the gray tom's reply as he uncurled. His single yellow eye gleamed in the darkness.

Spiderpaw sat down and pushed the dove towards him. "Care to share it with me?"

Jaggedclaw twisted to face his young friend, and took a bite of the bird without halting to pluck off any of the feathers. Spiderpaw wrinkled his nose – feathers weren't to his taste – before taking a bite as well.

"Are you going to help Blizzardpaw?"

Spiderpaw blinked. "With what?"

Jaggedclaw tilted his head to the side. "He mentioned to me that he was afraid of falling behind, since your father is fairly busy now. He was hoping you could give him extra lessons, like you did with Blackfeather. Hasn't Robinpaw mentioned anything to you? She seems like the sort to drop hints."

Spiderpaw frowned, trying to remember. "I guess she mentioned something during Blackfeather's assessment, but I was a little preoccupied...and a few days ago we were on patrol, she might have dropped his name a few times then...but she kind of talks a lot, so I don't always pay strict attention...why? Do you think I should?"

"I wouldn't want you to take on more than you think you're able to handle," he replied, pulling the dove closer to him with one claw. "At the same time, it would be valuable for Blizzardpaw. He's good – we saw that when you two sparred – but his opponent will most likely be Redpaw, and I'm not sure he's strong enough for that. Redpaw and Fireblaze are fairly close, and you know how strong Fireblaze is."

Spiderpaw shifted his weight, remembering the incident with the two ginger toms minutes before. "Yeah. Believe me, I know."

Jaggedclaw said nothing else, and they ate the rest of their meal in silence. Spiderpaw's mind was buzzing. Part of him was excited at the prospect of more training; he had actually enjoying helping Blackfeather, as strange as it sounded. He wanted an apprentice of his own someday, and it was valuable experience. At the same time, training with Blackfeather had worn him down and cost him some of his own performance during the day.

_Blizzardpaw's assessment is coming up soon...it wouldn't be too long, _he mused. _Besides, he's nice enough, and I know it would mean a lot to Robinpaw. They're...close._

Then, something occurred to him, and he let out a low purr. Swiping his tongue over his muzzle, he rose to his paws.

"I think I'll talk to him about it later," he promised, before hurrying off.

He headed towards Blackfeather, and pulled her aside.

"Blizzardpaw's assessment is coming up, right?" he asked. She seemed confused, but nodded. "Well, Robinpaw's been hinting that he might not quite be ready. He's a decent hunter, but battle-wise he could use some improvement. He seems to think it might be a good idea for me to train him, and I'd be willing to...but I don't want to do it alone."

It took her a moment to realize what he was implying. Her golden eyes lit up. "Are you asking me to help?" she asked with a bright grin. He nodded, and she purred with delight, pressing her nose against his shoulder. "I'd love to, Spiderpaw! It sounds like a lot of fun. We can all sneak out in the middle of the night like we did before...like a bunch of sneaky rogues. It'll be great!"

She pawed his ear playfully, and he couldn't help but smile at how happy she was.

"Since you're a warrior, it's likely that a kit from the next litter will be apprenticed to you. You'll need the experience," he replied.

"Can I go tell him? Please, can I?" she asked, sounding like an excited kit. The little black she-cat was practically bouncing on her paws.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Just try to keep it quiet, alright? I don't want half the Clan knowing. It would embarrass him."

She nodded quickly and turned to bounce away, before pausing and blinking at him. "This really means a lot to me, Spiderpaw. I'm glad you want me to help."

Blackfeather darted forward and licked his muzzle, then scampered away before he could react. He stared after her, feeling bemused by the tingling of his muzzle, before simply shaking his head. She-cats were crazy.

**AN: I've missed you guys. Blog post tomorrow.**


	39. C h a p t e r 38

**C _h a p t e r _38**

The sounds of the monsters racing over the Thunderpath had faded to a dull roar in the back of Sootpaw's mind. After some time of walking along the edge of the gorge, she had simply learned to block it out. She had more important things on her mind than the movement of Twoleg contraptions.

She was thinking of Chillpaw, of course – as she always seemed to be – and of Brightstar as well. The prospect of finding out more about the ginger-and-white she-cat was exciting, but also somewhat frightening. Sootpaw wasn't sure she wanted to unveil more of Brightstar's crimes, but at the same time if there was the slightest chance of finding some way to humanize the older leader, she knew she had to take it.

_At least Chillpaw will be there, _she thought. _He'll protect me if she snaps or something...I'm sure her reaction to learning that she's been tricked won't be pretty._

Her ears flattened, but she forced herself to smile as she caught Sage looking at her. She didn't want the others to be suspicious or worried about her. She had to learn to disguise her thoughts better. Not even Bluepaw knew of her dealings with the Dark Forest cats, and she wanted to keep it that way.

She blinked as she realized that Sage was still looking at her, and she frowned at him. He looked away, but gradually began drifting closer to her as they walked, until he was flanking her on one side.

"Can we talk later this evening, in private?" he asked. She was puzzled by the question and the anxiety in his green eyes, but nodded. Sage smiled, before tilting his head up to look at the sky. "Looks like rain."

She followed his gaze, and nodded. "Yeah, I guess." Dark clouds were coming in from the north, looming over their heads. A storm was brewing in their bellies, but Sootpaw wasn't sure when it would come to a head. If they were lucky, it would pass right over them. Sootpaw didn't look forward to more long days confined to the den because of ceaselessly pouring rain.

_It might get to AshClan's territory, actually, _she thought as she traced the clouds' path with her yellow eyes. _They could probably use some. It would be terrible if the territory caught fire again._

Her eyes flitted to Rook and Nightingale at the thought. They had been in the center of the fire, after all, and had miraculously survived. The fire had brought them together as survivors, and they had clung together to avoid being crushed by the hard life of stray cats.

_They're just as admirable as warriors, in some ways, _she thought. _I'm not sure I could have done the same, even with my warrior blood...it's astonishing, really, but I guess it's because they work so well together. They can communicate without even speaking, and I could swear Rook knows what Nightingale is thinking before she makes her little signs._

_I wonder if they're just friends, or...? Rook would be hard-pressed to find someone that understands him better, and Nightingale is a good influence on him._

She started as a cold nose touched her shoulder. Bluepaw was grinning at her, and once she realized she had Sootpaw's attention she leaned against her.

"Have any more dreams?" she whispered. Sootpaw's mind immediately went to Chillpaw, and it took her a second to realize that Bluepaw was talking about the other dreams concerning the ancient journey. She shook her head, and Bluepaw's face fell.

"I wonder what it means, if you don't have them?" she said with a frown.

"Hopefully it means that nothing else bad will happen on the journey," Sootpaw replied. "I've had enough excitement already."

Bluepaw's eyes gleamed. "There's never enough excitement, Sootpaw. What would medicine cats do without it, besides sit around on our paws?"

Sootpaw's whiskers twitched, but she was uncertain as to whether or not Bluepaw was joking. The blue-gray apprentice's eyes were bright, but they didn't have their usual amused twinkle.

Her ears pricked as she saw that the cats in front of them had stopped. Reedrush turned to face the others.

"We're taking a quick break to catch some prey, and then we're going again," she announced. "Find your prey and get back here as quickly as you can. Go in pairs; we can't take any chances with rogues lurking around."

the rest of the group murmured their agreement and began to split up; Sootpaw turned to Bluepaw, only to have Sage nudge her flank with his nose, reminding her of their agreement.

"Can you go with Brackenpaw?" Sootpaw asked hopefully. Bluepaw shrugged, and turned to look for the golden tom.

Sage flicked his thick white tail and strode towards the trees. Sootpaw hurried after him. She was grateful that the brush was relatively thin on the slopes above the Thunderpath. For whatever reason, the trees were fairly thin. That probably meant that less prey lived in the area, but they wouldn't need much, and it made travel much easier.

"So," she mewed once they were out of earshot, "what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

Sage's green eyes flicked towards her, and he seemed hesitant. "Well...it's about Bluepaw. I fear we got off on the wrong paw, when I brought up Bramblethorn...I didn't know he was dead, after all. And then so soon afterwords, I nearly killed you with those foxglove seeds...I'm afraid she thinks me to be a fool." His ears flattened. "As we are both cats of healing, we should be able to trust one another, and rely on each other when necessary, but I fear she does not trust me in such a manner. I feel that I need to know more about the prophecy as well, to ensure I don't slip up once more, but I find myself nervous about accidentally overstepping my bounds again...I think things would be easier if you could assert a few facts for me."

"I'm listening."

"Well...Bramblethorn was killed by a badger, was he not?" Sage inquired. "That is what Bluepaw said...that is _all _she said, actually. I wanted to question her further, for I felt she was keeping more from me, but I didn't think it was my place. I had hoped that we would become friends and I could ask again, but as I said previously, things are not going too well on that front...what can you tell me? What do you know of the incident? I don't want to cause her unnecessary pain with remarks that could be avoided if I knew more. I'd hate to upset her again."

Sootpaw stared down at her paws. "Well...it's not really my place to say, Sage. I'm sorry, but that's all really personal for her, and I don't think I could share it. Plus, I don't know too much about what happened...I was pretty young at the time, and by the time I was old enough to really understand any of it, no one wanted to talk about it. See, something happened right after Bramblethorn died, one of our cats betrayed us, and it shook everyone up...If you want to know more, I think you should ask Bluepaw herself. I wouldn't worry too much about offending her or anything; I think you're over-thinking it. Bluepaw doesn't take offense to anything too easily; she shrugs everything off pretty easily. I kind of envy her, actually..." She trailed off, feeling embarrassed.

"Do you think she would tell me the entire story?" Sage asked, knitting his brow. "Again, I hate to pry, but..."

Sootpaw shrugged. "Whether she will or not, that's the only way you'll ever find anything out. She knows more about what happened out there than anyone."

Truth be told, she was interested in Bluepaw's story herself. After all, Bramblethorn's death had played a big part in the future of AshClan. Without his death, there was a strong chance that Chillpaw might still be alive. "We can ask her together, if you'd like."

Sage smiled, and dipped his head. "Thank you. I know you two are close, and if there was anyone she would care to share with, it would be you." He tilted his head to the side, listening to the sounds of the forest. "There's a jay somewhere over there...if I may?"

Her whiskers twitched at his odd politeness, but she nodded, and he turned away from her, falling into a hunting crouch. She looked away and opened her mouth, checking the air for some other sign of prey.

She scented a mouse nearby, and lowered herself so that her belly brushed the ground. She crept over the leaves as quietly as she could, but couldn't help crunching leaves under her large paws.

The mouse came into view, but it had already been alerted by her clumsiness. She let out a near-silent growl of frustration and froze, waiting for the rodent to lower its guard before she approached. With another sweep of its beady eyes, the mouse lowered its delicate nose to the ground. It was a fatal mistake. Sootpaw rushed forward, using her long strides to her advantage as she threw herself at the tiny creature. She missed, but managed to scramble back around and slam the mouse with one paw, stunning it before she finished it off.

Her face burned underneath her pelt from the sloppiness of the kill, but luckily Sage had been too focused on his own hunt to notice. He still hadn't moved to catch his prey; he was staring up at it from below. For once, the jay was not so watchful; it hadn't spotted him yet, even with his white coat.

Sootpaw gauged the distance between the jay and the ground and frowned. It was fairly high, and because of the jay's placement on his branch it would be a difficult kill to make.

_He might be better off not attempting it at all and looking somewhere else, _she thought, but the white tom seemed determined to at least make an effort. He crouched, coiling his muscles for the strike, before throwing himself up into the air.

His front paws barely grazed the branch, and the jay lit into the air. It fluttered right over his head, jeering as it swooped down to a lower branch on another tree.

The jay's harsh cries were cut off abruptly as a white streak ensnared it in her paws. Sootpaw's eyes widened as Swanpaw seemed to dive out of nowhere, plucking the jay from the air with practiced ease. Her jaws killed the blue bird with one bite.

"Nicely done!" Rabbitleap's familiar chirp came from behind, as the stubby-tailed warrior bounded forward to join her companion. "That was a very good leap, Swanpaw!"

Swanpaw seemed irked by the gray warrior's praise. "It wasn't hard. Even a kit could have made that kill." Her lip curled as she stared at Sootpaw, and Sootpaw realized the ginger-and-white apprentice mistakenly believed that it had been Sootpaw who had fumbled the strike.

"I'm not the best of hunters," Sage admitted, taking a step forward. Swanpaw's blue eyes darted towards him and she seemed to notice his presence for the first time. Her ears flattened, and she looked flustered as she met his green gaze.

"I guess it was a little higher for you," she mumbled, looking down towards her paws. Sootpaw was surprised by Swanpaw's sudden change in demeanor. She looked to Sage, and saw that he was equally puzzled.

_Well, he was the one to save her from the river, when we were in the tunnels, _she recalled. _Even Swanpaw might respect a cat like that._

"I guess I'll have to continue looking elsewhere," the white tom continued. "The jay scared off any prey within earshot. Sootpaw, you can return to the others, since you've already made your kill. I'll catch up with you later."

"H-here, you can have it," Swanpaw blurted, shoving the jay towards him. "You almost caught it."

Sootpaw wasn't sure what was more astonishing, Swanpaw's stammer or her generosity. It was all she could do not to let out an amused purr; Swanpaw seemed smitten by the handsome white tom.

Sage was taken aback, and Swanpaw's eyes narrowed. "Go on, take it! I can catch something else. Rabbitleap still needs prey too. Besides, I don't like feathers." The ginger-and-white apprentice let out an irritated huff, before turning her back on the two of them and stalking away, her ears still flat against her head.

"I'm afraid I've been a bit heavy on my paws today," Rabbitleap confessed, "and I feel like I could eat a badger...ah well. Can't let Swanpaw wander around on her own in the mood she's in. You know how it is." She winked at them. "I'll see you two later!"

The gray-and-white she-cat turned tail and disappeared after the apprentice. Sootpaw and Sage shared a glance, before wordlessly collecting their prey and heading back towards where the group had split.

. . .

Sootpaw let out a satisfied sigh as she cleaned her whiskers. The mouse had been surprisingly delicious, although its taste had been a bit unfamiliar. It was odd how the mice differed from place to place; this one had been sweeter, but with coarser fur than those she was used to.

Sage was kneading the ground with his paws beside her. He kept taking quick bites of his jay and looking to Bluepaw, before staring back down at his paws. He seemed quite anxious to ask Bluepaw about her story. Sootpaw was eager to know more as well; she could feel excitement gnawing at her, but she repressed it, taking a moment to simply enjoy her full belly. It was as she told Bluepaw: she had had her fill of excitement.

Her whiskers twitched as she heard Rabbitleap munching and crunching nearby. The small warrior had managed to bring back both a pigeon and a vole, and she was eating them both quite happily.

_She sure can pack it away, even as small as she is, _Sootpaw thought, giving the PeakClan warrior an admiring look. _She'd better be careful, or she's going to end up looking like a squat, round badger._

That thought brought her back around to Bluepaw, and she saw that the blue-gray she-cat was finished with her meal. She was chattering happily to Brackenpaw, who was nodding every now and then, although his golden eyes seemed distant.

_Better step in before she talks his ear off, _Sootpaw thought, rising to her paws. Sage stood beside her. _I'm not sure how someone as easily irritated as Spiderpaw put up with her for so long._

"Hey, Bluepaw," Sootpaw purred as she strode towards her friend. Bluepaw's ears pricked.

"I was just telling Brackenpaw about one of my dreams," she mewed with a smile. "Not a medicine-cat dream, of course, just a normal dream, but I thought it was pretty interesting. See, it starts with this fish that wants to be a bird, and-"

"Sage and I were hoping to talk to you, actually," Sootpaw interjected, "so long as Brackenpaw doesn't mind."

Brackenpaw gave them a grateful look, before shaking his head. "I don't mind at all. I was actually going to, ah, talk to Rabbitleap."

"We can finish our talk later!" Bluepaw called after him as the golden tom fled towards the PeakClan warrior, before turning her bright blue eyes back onto her friends. "What's up?"

Sootpaw and Sage looked at one another, uncertain as to who was going to broach the subject. Sage sighed quietly, and sat down beside Bluepaw.

"We were hoping to talk to you about something...rather personal," he said. Bluepaw tilted her head to the side.

"About the prophecy?" she asked.

"Not exactly," Sootpaw mewed. "See...Sage here is worried about coming across the wrong way, because he didn't know Bramblethorn all that well, or what happened to him. He was hoping you could tell us what happened. I'd like to know too, to be honest. Bramblethorn's death shaped a lot of events in our Clan, and since I was so young, I don't really remember most of it...it would be really helpful if you could tell us more, Bluepaw."

Bluepaw's ears flattened, and Sage added, "You don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable, of course. I wouldn't want to impose."

Bluepaw shook her head. "No, no, it's fine...it's just kind of hard to talk about. Thinking about him isn't so bad, and I know sometimes I quote him without thinking...he was just a really nice, wise, warm cat. I miss him a lot, and I can't help but feel it was sort of my fault that everything happened...I was the one that wanted to leave camp." She took in a deep breath.

"Redpaw and I were about three moons old at the time...maybe a little older, I'm not sure. We were kind of starting to get restless, just like you and Spiderpaw did when you nearly drowned, Sootpaw. Redpaw and I both wanted to be great warriors, but we didn't think we were getting anywhere by staying all cooped up in camp. I thought if we could explore the forest we might get a head start on our training. I managed to convince Redpaw that it was a good idea for the two of us to sneak out after Bramblethorn visited...

"See, he always visited around sunhigh, for some reason. You would think that would be one of the busiest times of day for a warrior, but he always made time..." She glanced at Sage. "Oh, this probably isn't making any sense to you at all. Let me try this again...I'll start at the beginning." She rubbed her nose with one paw.

"Redpaw and I were orphaned. Our mother died kitting, and no one knows who our father was. Two cats from Twolegplace – Mitch and Natasha – found us. They tried to take care of us, but of course Natasha had no milk. She gave us to the Clan while they were in Twolegplace for a short time, since there were two queens to nurse us. Bramblethorn isn't really related to us at all, but for some reason he visited us a lot. I think it was because he helped carry us in the fire – there was this huge fire that burnt up all our territory,and when the Clan fled, Bramblethorn carried either me or Redpaw, I don't quite remember. Anyway, as far back as I could remember, he would come and visit us. We both liked him a lot, and we would play with him and bring him prey and he would tell us all sorts of stories...he was born a kittypet, so he knew stories that reached beyond the Clans.

"He used to play with you too, Sootpaw, do you remember? He seemed to like you a lot, for some reason. I remember being kind of jealous, because sometimes he would let you ride him around the camp...he wouldn't let me unless I begged." Bluepaw blinked at her, and Sootpaw nodded as though she remembered. In truth, she could only recollect Bramblethorn dimly. She remembered him only as a warm presence, a large brown figure that would stand above her, haloed by the light streaming into the nursery. Sometimes she thought she could remember being lifted on top of strong paws, but she was never certain whether they were his or Eaglestrike's.

"Anyway, since he always visited us all during sunhigh, we knew we had to escape afterwords. So we did, once the queens all fell asleep. We didn't have any idea where we were going, of course...and Redpaw grew tired eventually and wanted to go back, but I wouldn't let him. I kept pushing us to go on and on and on...I was hoping that we would find something no one else had ever seen, to make Bramblethorn proud. I wanted to thank him for taking such good care of us...for being like the father we never had." She rubbed her paw against her nose again with a small sniffle.

"And then there was this terrible noise...it was like the earth was shaking underneath our paws, and there was this awful growling...a badger seemed to burst out of nowhere. It was huge, the biggest thing I'd ever seen. At first, I thought it was a Twoleg monster. I completely froze up, I was terrified. I couldn't move at all; I couldn't run or protect Redpaw or even turn my head. Redpaw was brave. He moved in front of me and growled at it, trying to warn it away, but of course he was just a kit and didn't scare it at all.

"I remember it raised one paw as it stared down at us...I remember the paw being surrounded by sunlight, looking impossibly bright...I couldn't look away, I just squinted up at it. I was transfixed. I thought – no, I _knew –_ that we were going to die, and that it was all my fault.

"And then, Bramblethorn was there. He seemed to come out of nowhere too, and he tackled the badger, knocking it to the ground. Frostfeather said later that he came back to bring us something he'd found in the forest while on patrol – a feather, I think – and had woken her up once he realized we weren't there. He ran off to look for us before Eaglestrike could even make a patrol. I guess he followed our scents to the badger.

"I had always thought that Bramblethorn was the biggest and strongest thing that could ever exist, but I was wrong. The badger was even bigger than him, and stronger, and angrier and meaner and terrible...but Bramblethorn wouldn't back down. He scratched and snarled and bit and fought and threw everything he had at the badger. He told us to run, but I still couldn't move.

"Bramblethorn lost. He depended on his strength to fight, and when he was outmatched...there was nothing he could do. But he fought to the end. The badger hit him and threw him and jerked him all around but Bramblethorn never stopped. He managed to claw out one of the badger's eyes, but that enraged the monster. It grabbed Bramblethorn by the throat with its jaws, and threw him against a tree...I could hear him break when he hit the trunk." Bluepaw's ears flattened, and she pressed her belly to the ground, staring ahead of her sightlessly. "The badger didn't stop. It kept smashing him against that tree, over and over, even when Bramblethorn's legs had stopped kicking and he had finally gone limp. It seemed like forever before the smashing stopped. And then it turned on us, staring us down with one hate-filled eye...Redpaw had tried to pull me away while Bramblethorn was fighting, but I still couldn't move.

"As the badger was preparing to go after us, it suddenly let out a grunt of pain, and part of its ear was missing. There was a white cat standing on its back. I didn't even recognize him at first; he never visited us. He never spoke to anyone, that I can remember. Everyone said he kept to himself."

"Chillpaw," Sootpaw whispered, and Bluepaw nodded.

"I don't know how he found us or why he was there, but he was. Once the badger realized it had been attacked again, it twisted around to get him, but he was too fast. He was like white lightning; I couldn't even keep my eyes on him. He dove and slashed and bit and scratched too fast for the badger to keep up...and the whole time his face was completely blank, and his eyes were so cold..." She shuddered from nose to tail, and Sootpaw nuzzled her shoulder. "I think in some ways he was just as terrifying as the badger.

"He managed to get its other eye. After that, the badger was helpless. It stumbled around and flailed haphazardly before trying to stagger away. Chillpaw let it go, but I think that was because he knew the rest of the patrol would come and finish it off. Then, he pushed us back to camp. He didn't even look at Bramblethorn. I still couldn't move, so he had to carry me the whole way."

"Bluepaw—" Sage started, thinking the story was over, but she shook her head.

"I'm not done yet. We were ushered to Rumble's den as soon as we got back, even though we weren't hurt. Chillpaw had a few injuries, but not many. Rumble was already dying at that point, so it was Shimmerfrost – Shimmerpaw, then - that looked over everyone. She was so concerned for Chillpaw...she kept fussing over him, and he kept shrugging her off. I think that was the last time I saw her look truly concerned for a patient." Bluepaw sighed. "They had the vigil for Bramblethorn that night, but his body wasn't in camp. It was too badly damaged; the patrol buried him where they found him after they killed the badger. Redpaw and I sat vigil for him. We couldn't stop trembling...it was hard, without a body. I kept thinking that it had all been a mistake, that he would walk into camp with a feather for me and a smooth pebble for Redpaw and that everything would be just fine...but it wasn't, of course.

"Redpaw fawned after Chillpaw. He idolized him. He said he was our savior and protector. I think it was just his way of trying to move on from Bramblethorn...Redpaw blamed himself for not being strong enough. It's why he trains so hard now. But it wasn't his fault, it was mine...if I hadn't wanted to be such a good warrior, if I hadn't pushed him so hard, we wouldn't have found that badger and gotten hurt...and I saw how Shimmerfrost healed her brother and tended to Rumble, and I wanted to be like her. I wanted to be a medicine cat.

"Chillpaw had to rest for a few days, but after that Silverstar said that because of his heroic deed he was going to become a warrior early. She was really proud of him, and hopeful...she loved him. But we all know how that turned out..."

Sootpaw flinched as she remembered her dreams. _How must that have been for them to watch their 'savior' murder their leader in cold blood? _She wondered, feeling icy fingers of dread squeeze her heart.

The three of them were silent for a long moment. Bluepaw's paws were trembling, and she licked them to try and relax herself. Sage bent down to touch her shoulder with his nose.

"I'm sorry all of that happened to you, Bluepaw," he meowed, "but you can't blame yourself. You were just a kit. You wanted what was best for your Clan."

"But all I did was get my father killed and my leader murdered," Bluepaw hissed in a voice more fierce than Sootpaw had ever heard from her as she flinched away from his touch. "It's no wonder St—" She bit off the word and looked away. Sage looked to Sootpaw, but she shrugged. She had no idea what Bluepaw had been about to say.

There was movement in the group, as the two AshClan warriors announced that they would be continuing on their way in a few minutes. Wordlessly, the three apprentices rose to their paws and waited to continue on their journey.

. . .

_Her heart was still heavy as she opened her eyes to see the swirling mist._

Bluepaw, _she thought, and sighed. Bluepaw had always seemed so cheerful, untouched by anything like sadness or fear, but it was obvious now that she just pushed it down inside of herself to where no one else could see it. _I had no idea all of that happened to her. I mean, I knew that Chillpaw was the one that saved them, but...

_She felt a warm nose touch her shoulder, and turned to find Moonpaw blinking at her with blue eyes that were bright with concern. "Are you alright?"_

_Sootpaw shook her head. "No, but I think I will be. Is Chillpaw coming?"_

_Moonpaw peered into the mist. "Yes. Brightstar is with him. You're going to do the pool thing, right?"_

_Sootpaw nodded, feeling a prickle of fearful anticipation as she saw Chillpaw's ghostly figure weaving through the mist. Moonpaw stepped forward to touch noses with him, and his form solidified,along with Brightstar's._

_The ginger-and-white she-cat looked to Sootpaw with a disdainful sneer. "Nice to see you again. Are you ready to listen to me yet?"_

_Sootpaw tore her gaze away from Chillpaw long enough to nod. Chillpaw's tail twitched, and the mist melted away, replaced by the same forest as before. Wordlessly, Chillpaw began to walk. Brightstar and Sootpaw followed, but did not speak._

_They reached the pool within minutes. Brightstar peered into it suspiciously._

"_We want to hear more of your story," Chillpaw said, "from your point of view. The pool will allow you to tell it. Just touch the surface, and focus on a memory."_

"_Think of the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you," Sootpaw meowed. Brightstar's eyes narrowed and for a moment she seemed suspicious, but her haughty arrogance soon returned to her mismatched gaze._

"_Fine," she sneered, "but I have little to be ashamed of."_

_She reached out with one white paw and touched the pool's glass-like surface, going rigid as the pool's icy chill crept up her leg. Slowly, an image began to form on the surface of the pool. It was faintly blurred, just as Sootpaw's had been, touched by Brightstar's own emotions._

_The memory was that of a strange ginger-and-white apprentice. It took Sootpaw a moment to recognize Brightstar's mismatched eyes. The apprentice was gangly, unbalanced, and seemed far too inelegant to be the same leader that Sootpaw knew. She had to conceal a smirk as Brightstar – no, Brightpaw – headed towards the camp entrance, looking as though she was liable to trip over her own paws at any moment._

_She entered WindClan's wild moorland, and Sootpaw's eyes widened at the beauty of the sweeping grassland. Some of it was only Brightpaw's perception, of course – the territory was even more emotion-blurred than the camp – but Sootpaw could tell that even without Brightstar's emotions the view would be beautiful._

_Brightpaw paused and looked around before opening her mouth. She seemed to catch a pleasing scent, for she whirled around and plunged down the side of the plateu._

_A dark-coated tom was her target. He was crouching, stalking a quivering hare who seemed unaware of his presence. Brightpaw didn't see the rabbit. She ran right up to the tom, and the hare bolted. The tom let out a hiss of frustration, not bothering to give chase, before turning his bright green eyes onto her._

_Brightpaw went rigid, and seemed to sway on her paws as she blinked up at the tom. As he turned to face her, Sootpaw's heart fluttered involuntarily._

_The tom would have been handsome enough on his own, with his smoky black fur and brilliant green eyes, but Brightstar's perception of him made him absolutely stunning. His fur was sleek and luxurious, his eyes glowed with a stunning inner light, his face was noble and strong, and when he spoke his voice was deep and moving._

"_Are you an idiot?" he spat at her, and Brightpaw shrank back. "I nearly had that hare."_

"_S-sorry, Darkpelt," she stammered. "I didn't see it."_

"_Of course you didn't," he said, his voice low with disgust. "What do you want? I'm still trying to hunt."_

_Brightpaw blinked down at her paws, looking like any other awkward apprentice as she scuffed her paw in the dirt. "I just...wanted to tell you something."_

_Darkpelt let out an impatient huff. "Well?"_

_Brightpaw flushed underneath her fur, and Sootpaw's stomach sank. Whatever Brightpaw was about to say – and she had a fairly good guess as to what it would be – was doomed to fail._

"_I really like you," Brightpaw mumbled. "I think you're amazing and strong and handsome...and I know you like me too, I've seen the way you look at me, and I've heard you talking to the other apprentices about me..." She trailed off and blinked up at him. Her mismatched eyes were wide and vulnerable, like a fawn's._

_Darkpelt's face twisted, and he seemed about to reply when the image shattered as Brightstar drew her paw back. She turned on them, hissing._

"_You tricked me!" she spat. "You don't want to hear my story. You want to see this...this mockery! This falsehood!"_

"_You know very well it is completely true," Chillpaw meowed, his voice soft and calm. "The pool can't be deceived. I know you were trying; I could see the concentration on your face, but it was to no avail. Now, continue the memory. It's not over yet."_

"_I will not!" Brightstar's tail lashed from side to side. "I will not subject myself to such humiliation, you whelp!" Her enraged eyes turned on Sootpaw, and the gray apprentice shrank back, intimidated by their fiery anger. "I saw you smirking at me! You think I was pathetic, clumsy, useless!" Her words sounded odd, as if she was repeating what someone else had told her, and for a moment the ginger-and-white leader faltered._

"_I don't—" Sootpaw started to say, but Brightstar's temper blazed up again and she unsheathed her claws._

"_Shut your mouth, before I rip it off of your face!" she snarled, and crouched as if to spring._

_Chillpaw quickly moved in front of Sootpaw, shielding her. "Brightstar, stand down. Sootpaw is looking for the truth, nothing more and nothing less. Return to the memory, or I will find it in the Dark Forest myself."_

"_You don't have the skill to look back that far!" she sneered, her face twisted with disdain and anger._

"_No, but I have the patience to learn," he replied, his voice level as his icy eyes stared her down. Brightstar let out another low hiss, but her temper simmered under his chilling gaze. She looked away from him, and her shoulders slumped. Brightstar suddenly looked very old and weary. Without a word, she bowed her head and touched the still surface of the pool._

_Darkpelt's face twisted once more, and he snarled down at the apprentice, "Do you realize how stupid you sound? First you chase away my prey, then you confess your undying love? You're deluded, Brightpaw. I never looked at you with anything more than scorn, and when I talk of you to other apprentices it is only to mock you for your weakness. You're pathetic, clumsy, useless. You can't hunt to save your life, and you quiver with fear during battle. You're always lost in your own little world where you aren't completely incompetent. You're the daughter of an unimportant queen and rogue scum. Get out of my sight, Brightpaw. I have _real _warrior business to conduct."_

_He turned his back on her, not seeing the pain that shattered her eyes, not seeing the quivering in her legs as they gave way, or the breaking of her heart. She collapsed and pressed her nose to the ground, burning with shame and heartbreak as the dark tom strode away..._

_The memory changed. Brightpaw was back in camp, but she was no longer a gangly apprentice. She was the Brightstar that Sootpaw recognized, full of pride and beauty. She held herself with dignity as she looked over her Clan. Her gaze finally settled on a dark shape on the edge of camp, a shape that was impossibly blurred by twisted emotions._

_Brightstar strode towards the shape, and it took Sootpaw a moment to realize it was Darkpelt. He was aged now; his muzzle was gray and his green eyes were dull. He seemed to shimmer from Brightstar's perspective; the strong, handsome tom that she had idolized was layered over a darker, more twisted creature whose very face stirred hatred from her. It was a perplexing, overwhelming mixture of love and hatred, and Sootpaw wondered how any cat could possibly contain so much emotion in one heart._

"_Hello, Darkpelt," Brightstar hissed, her voice low and icy. Darkpelt rose his head, and Sootpaw saw one of his eyes was clouded and sightless._

"_Brightstar," he grunted, then snorted. "It's been a long time."_

"_It has." Brightstar sounded disinterested as she brushed off her chest with one paw. "I've been too busy to talk to the likes of you, I'm afraid. Running a Clan is a hard task."_

_Darkpelt let out a low, rasping laugh. "Right. You haven't spoken to me since that day out on the moors. Surely you remember?"_

_Anger and hurt flared in Brightstar's eyes, but she repressed it. "I'm afraid I don't know...oh, you mean that day? I don't know why you would even remember that, Darkpelt. It was so meaningless...just an exchange between warrior and apprentice."_

_Darkpelt wasn't believing her for a second. "Right. You've avoided me ever since then. That's when you finally woke up, if I recall. That's when you started taking your training seriously."_

"_I always took my training seriously," Brightstar hissed._

"_Tell yourself that if you want. Really, you should be thanking me. You'd never have became a warrior without me."_

"_Shut your mouth, you old bonebag!" Brightstar snarled, unsheathing her claws, before taking a deep, calming breath. She glanced over her shoulder, making sure that none of her warriors had heard her outburst. "You have no idea what you're talking about."_

_Darkpelt closed his eyes, resting them on his paws. "How about you just tell me why you're talking to me again, after all these years?"_

_Brightstar smacked his muzzle with one paw and his eyes opened once more. His good eye focused on her, and her own narrowed. "Listen to me, and listen well. I came to tell you that you were wrong, all those days ago. I was a good apprentice, the best in the Clan, and you should not have spurned me. Look at you now. You're the one who is pathetic, clumsy, and useless. You're a doddering, helpless elder who can't even change his own moss, let alone—" The speech was obviously well practiced, built up over years of resentment, and her eyes flashed as Darkpelt cut her off with a growl._

"_Pathetic, clumsy, and useless," he echoed. "That does sound familiar. If that day meant so little to you, Brightstar, why is it that you remember my exact words?"_

_The image shattered as Brightstar drew back. Chillpaw opened his mouth, but she shook her head._

"_That's all there is to that memory," she said, her voice low and listless. "I walked away after that. I never spoke to him again. He died soon after...a natural death." She glanced at Sootpaw, and her eyes were clouded with pain. "I hope you found what you were looking for by forcing me to revisit that," she said. Her eyes were dull as she looked to Chillpaw. "Take me back."_

"_Brightstar," Sootpaw started to say, shocked by Brightstar's transformation from a haughty, self-important cat to this broken shell, but the ginger-and-white leader ignored her. _

"_As you wish," Chillpaw meowed. Moonpaw seemed to appear out of nowhere, and she touched his nose. Instantly, he melted away, and the forest scene disappeared as well, taking Brightstar and the pool with it._

_Sootpaw sighed quietly and sat down, not knowing if Chillpaw would return or not. She curled her tail around her paws, and Moonpaw pressed her black fur against her pelt._

"_You okay?" she asked, and Sootpaw shrugged._

"_I was used to Brightstar being on top of everything...it was strange, seeing her as an apprentice...and what Darkpelt said to her was terrible. It doesn't justify what she did, but I guess I can understand why she tried to hide her past and cover it up with an idealized version where she was the best apprentice in the entire Clan."_

It's kind of like when I created Moonpaw, _she thought. _Moonpaw was the perfect version of myself that I wanted to be. I used to try to become her in the mornings...when did that stop? I can't even remember the last time I did it. I guess I've just been so busywith the journey and everything that it slipped my mind somehow...

_Moonpaw's ears pricked, and she left Sootpaw's side to move forward and touch the white figure that was moving towards them. Chillpaw's form solidified again, and he fixed Sootpaw with his icy eyes._

"_Are you satisfied with her now?" he asked. _

"_Yes," she replied. "Is...is she going to be alright?"_

"_She's recovered from worse," he answered, and moved to stand beside her. The forest reappeared around them, but Sootpaw avoided looking at the still pool. _

"_I don't understand it," Chillpaw said finally. _

"_Understand what?"_

"_Why you needed to see her story," Chillpaw clarified. "I do not understand why you feel you must empathize with them before you can proceed. It doesn't change their actions, and it put you in danger. Brightstar would have fought you if I hadn't interceded, and she would have won."_

"_It doesn't change what they did, no...but it helps me, somehow, to know that they aren't complete monsters. If you just tell me their crimes I can't understand them, but if I can make them more real...it helps. Besides, even if Brightstar attacked me, it wouldn't do anything. It's just a dream."_

"_True. It is only a dream, while we are here, and she would be unable to harm you...but she's grown angry with you before, in the Dark Forest, and the battles there are all too real. You spoke to Swiftshade there, and you still found his story. Most cats fear death. Don't you?"_

_Sootpaw's ears flattened. "Yeah, of course I do. I just...didn't think about it." It sounded flimsy to her own ears, and she frowned. "What about you? Weren't you the smallest bit scared when you were going to kill Silverstar?"_

"_Fear stems from uncertainty," he answered. "I was never uncertain. I knew what the result of my actions would be."_

_Her eyes widened. "Y-you knew they would kill you?"_

"_I tried to murder their leader. What else would have happened? They would not have simply let me go. I knew some of them would be unable to control themselves. Stormshadow was one of those. I knew someone would kill me, but I did not know who. It didn't matter."_

"_Your own _life _didn't matter to you?"_

"_Life is a flexible term," he said. "Some would argue that without understanding the full scope of the living – of feeling and comprehending emotions – that I was not living...that I was only existing, for a short time."_

_Sootpaw felt more pity for the white tom flood forth. She couldn't imagine staring her own mortality in the face, of knowing that her actions would kill her. Even if he didn't value his own life as he claimed, his actions still took strength that was far beyond her._

"_Besides, it balanced out, with her death and my own," he continued. "If I had not died, the scales would have been tipped in my favor. That cannot happen."_

_She felt she had heard him reference some balance before. "What do you mean, balance? Didn't you say something about balance and Lion before?"_

_He shrugged. "Perhaps...but I cannot speak more on the subject. Again, much of it is my own story, which is not yet ripe for sharing...but balance is at the core of it. Silverstar has her philosophy of second chances, and I have mine of balance."_

"_You shattered Silverstar's," Sootpaw mewed. "I think that means yours isn't completely solid either."_

_Chillpaw cocked his head to the side, and to her surprise he laughed. "It's exactly that sort of strange insight that I am missing," he said, a slight purr to his voice. "Cats like you can make that leap so easily...whereas it never entered my mind. Still, I will stand by my philosophy for now. It has served me well."_

"_Served you well?" Her voice rang with disbelief. "Chillpaw, you're dead! Obviously it didn't work!"_

_His cold eyes seemed to bore into her. "Not for long," he reminded her, before rising to his paws. "I must be on my way. You'll wake soon. Goodnight, Sootpaw." He dipped his head to her, before turning away. Moonpaw touched his nose, and he was gone._

**AN: I dunno what's been up with my schedule lately. I've been pretty busy, but at the same time I've had plenty of time to write, too...I dunno. Just haven't felt motivated in a long time. Hopefully that will change.**

**Anyway, I think I mentioned a couple blog updates ago that Bramblethorn's death wasn't just because I wanted him out of the way, that it helped set the entire plot of Chilled in motion in two ways: it caused Chillpaw to become a warrior and therefore have the perfect opportunity to kill Silverstar, and it also pushed Bluepaw to become a medicine cat.**

**Also, Darkpelt was mentioned by Brightstar previously as one of her 'many lovers'. She _might _have been lying about that. |D**

**ALSO! Some really exciting news that I kind of forgot about. One of my friends (Pot of Gold on here) likes making audiobooks on YouTube. They're really neat! And she wants to (drumroll please) make an audiobook...of Shattered! We've been working on it a little bit so far (I had to find all the characters and write them down and send them to her...there were 109 or so, counting bit parts) and I'm supposed to narrate (Lord I am terrible at it but I'm learning |D), so it should be really neat! I'm super-excited.**

**If you want to see some of her audiobooks, just look up 'warriors audiobooks' on YouTube. Pretty sweet, no? :D  
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	40. C h a p t e r  39

**C _h a p t e r _39**

He slept in that night, tired from the day's exploits. Getting up before the dawn had been bad enough, but the resulting battle had left him bone-weary by the day's end. His night was dreamless, or at least he could not remember any of his dreams by the time he awoke.

The reason for his waking was not, for once, the prodding of paws in his gut or the whispered insistence in his ear. It was simply light streaming in from the entrance to the apprentice den. He yawned slowly and brushed his paw over his muzzle before rising to his paws and padding out of the entrance. He was stiff from the battle, but to his relief he wasn't aching too badly.

He looked for Blackfeather, wondering how she was faring, but didn't see her. Instead, Petalcloud practically launched herself at him.

"How are you, Spiderpaw?" she asked, her warm eyes glancing him over, radiating concern. She licked her paw and drew it over his ear, presumably to flatten some fur that was sticking up. "You look tired, poor thing. Do you want to get a poppy seed from Shimmerfrost before we go?"

He blinked at her, still half asleep. "Go where?" he asked, wondering if he was dreaming.

"I told Eaglestrike we'd handle the sunhigh patrol," she mewed. "Fireblaze is coming as well. I think you two are on better terms now, right? He told me about your various...quarrels. I apologize, Spiderpaw, I really had no idea that you two were having so much trouble with one another. I would have said something to him earlier, if I had known."

Spiderpaw's ears flattened. Petalcloud's intervention would have gone over about as well as a lead balloon, but now that things were out in the open, hopefully he and Fireblaze wouldn't have any more problems, so long as he stayed on the ginger tom's good side.

"You don't have to go on patrol if you don't want to, of course," Petalcloud meowed, "but we haven't spent as much time training as I'd like – I know you and Jaggedclaw have been very busy, and that's fine, but I need my time with you too."

He shifted his paws – he had been hoping to catch something to eat and relax before beginning training that morning – but he didn't want to let her down, especially when she looked so imploring. "I don't mind."

She let out a purr, flicking her tail against his flank with an odd motherly fondness, before looking for her son. "Fireblaze? We're ready to go, if you are."

The ginger tom looked up from the remains of a vole tucked between his paws. He nodded, rasping his tongue over his whiskers as he rose and strode towards them.

"Just a quick little patrol," Petalcloud meowed, tweaking her tail against her son's nose with affection. "I know you have a lot of other things to do, right?"

Fireblaze rolled his eyes. "You know there isn't much for us to do between battles, without any more apprentices. Some she-cat needs to cozy up in a nest with someone, if we're going to have any kits at all next year."

For some reason, this made Petalcloud flush, but she didn't say anything, simply flicking her elegant tail as she hopped out of the camp entrance.

As they neared the PeakClan border, Spiderpaw became more apprehensive. He was convinced that Goldenshine was going to appear out of nowhere and challenge them to another battle; he jumped at every sound, no matter how quiet. It would have been the perfect time for Fireblaze to get in a jibe, but the ginger tom seemed to be on his guard as well. To his credit, he took patrolling seriously.

They reached the river, and Spiderpaw was relieved to see that there were no PeakClan warriors in sight. Their scents were fresh – the dawn patrol had been past – but their sunhigh patrol didn't seem to have ventured out just yet.

_Avoiding us intentionally? _He wondered, but shrugged the question away. Eaglestrike and Silverstar seemed to want to hold off bringing the issue up with Stonestar until the Gathering, since it was only a few days away, so there was no telling how things were going in PeakClan.

They continued on, making their way around the river. They followed it upstream, and went down the Black Stream, towards the Thunderpath. The sounds of monsters rushing over the black, tarry surface made Spiderpaw even more jumpy. His dark fur ruffled around his shoulders, and he shivered.

"Are you tired?" Petalcloud asked, misinterpreting his expression. Spiderpaw shook his head.

"No, just...uneasy. It feels like there are other cats out there watching us," he explained, before his ears flattened. _You sound like a kit that's afraid of venturing outside the nursery, _he scolded himself. _There's no one lurking in the shadows waiting to leap out at you. Goldenshine learned his lesson, and even if he didn't, you're in good company. Relax._

Petalcloud lead them towards Twolegplace, but before they broke away from the Black Stream entirely, she froze.

"Get down," she hissed suddenly, her ears flat against her head as she pressed her belly against the ground. Spiderpaw obeyed, shivering as the cold mud chilled his stomach. Fireblaze ignored his mother, opening his mouth and scenting the air. His eyes widened, and he let out a low growl, but Petalcloud shot him a stern look. "Get down, now."

Petalcloud's usually gentle eyes were as cold as steel and Fireblaze didn't dare disobey again. He lowered himself to the ground, but bared his fangs.

Spiderpaw opened his mouth, wondering what the two of them had scented, before stiffening as a familiar scent reached his nose.

_Rogues! _He thought, his fur bristling. If it wasn't for both Petalcloud and Fireblaze lying down in front of him, he might have charged forward. The scent of the rogues was strong; this wasn't a scent marker, or a few scraps of fur. This scent could only come from living, breathing rogues, and they were close.

He dug his claws into the brown-black mud as he heard their pawsteps approaching. Petalcloud signaled for them to move, and the three of them crept under the nearest brush as the sounds drew nearer.

To keep out of sight, Spiderpaw was forced to press right up beside Fireblaze. The ginger tom's pants were warm against his ear, and Spiderpaw could smell his fear-scent. With their bright fur, both Petalcloud and Fireblaze would be obviously visible if the rogues happened to glance in their direction.

"This is incredible!" he heard an unfamiliar voice meow without any apparent fear of being overheard. "The marsh is full of prey as it is, but this forest...I must have tread on at least five mice already, not to mention all these _birds!_"

"To think the Clan cats have had this to themselves for so long," a second voice observed, "and never offered to share, while we fight for every scrap in Twolegplace...Cane and Amber were fools for not venturing out further before."

"They could never keep an alliance for long," the first voice said; Spiderpaw realized that it was a female, although he still couldn't make out who it belonged to. "They could keep down Carmelo, but then their alliance would splinter almost immediately following any battle. They would never have been able to run the Clanners off. Clan cats are close-knit. But Carmelo...he's something else."

"He's a dream, that's what he is," a third voice sighed, another she-cat. The two she-cats purred with amusement, but the second voice interrupted them.

"Even he'll have his paws full if they do figure it out," he growled. "You know as well as I do that there are still fractures that need to be worked out. I think some purging needs to be done, myself. He needs to run out the weak, crush the useless and those that disobey him. That's how a cat _really _rules."

"That sounds dreadful," the third cat sniffed. "Really, Baron, you're too full of yourself. What makes you think _you _wouldn't be one of the cats he'd snuff out, huh? You're just a big blowhard."

"I beg your pardon? Carmelo left _me _in charge, if you have already forgotten!" the tom exclaimed.

"Sssh, you two," the first voice mewed. "Do you smell something?"

The three cats were quiet, save for their sniffing of the air. Spiderpaw felt his heart begin to pound. _Three on three...we can take them, _he thought, _unless there are more of them around here...and it sounds like they might be hiding out near the marsh, and if so there are almost certainly reinforcements..._

"Just a patrol or something," Baron said finally, sounding dismissive. "They run a few cats around the border every couple hours, right? They're paranoid, that's all."

"Still, we should get out of here. We don't want them finding out about us," said the first cat.

"Can't we stay a little longer? I'm still so hungry," the third voice whined.

"There's plenty of prey in the marsh. We'll eat there. Better safe than sorry," said Baron. "Come on then, let's be on our way."

There was the sound of rustling as the three cats sprang away; Petalcloud, Fireblaze, and Spiderpaw remained motionless for a few more moments before rising to their paws and scanning the area for any remaining trace of the rogues.

"This isn't good," Petalcloud meowed, her ears flattening. "If they're bold enough to be holing up in the marsh and trespassing without a care..."

"We should chase after them," Fireblaze growled, kneading the ground with his paws.

Petalcloud shook her head. "No, definitely not. We need to tell Eaglestrike. He'll know what to do about all this." She looked to Spiderpaw, and twitched her tail against his muzzle. "You might be in for your first battle," she mewed.

A thrill of anticipation ran down his spine, but he didn't say anything.

_She automatically defers to Eaglestrike, rather than Silverstar, _he thought. _If Silverstar survives all this, what will happen to Eaglestrike? He has a lot of power now, as the deputy and acting leader. Silverstar might have a hard time reclaiming that from him, even if he's willing to give it up. She crumpled after Chillpaw's betrayal, and that's not something the Clan will forget in a day._

Petalcloud turned and headed back to camp, her thick tail held high like a streaming banner. Fireblaze and Spiderpaw followed her, not stopping to catch their breath until they reached camp.

. . .

"Troubling," Eaglestrike meowed with a frown. His yellow eyes were narrowed, and he tilted his head towards Silverstar, who was listening intently despite the coughs shaking her thin body. Forestheart was curled around her protectively, looking disgruntled.

"Can't you all do this somewhere else?" Shimmerfrost complained, her tail lashing from side to side. "You really can't cram so many cats in here at once."

Eaglestrike ignored her. "If this 'Baron' cat really is in charge of a force in the marsh, we need to react quickly," he said. "We can't let them get comfortable."

"They probably haven't been there for long; if they're careless enough to enter our territory without cloaking their scent, we would have found them long before," Silverstar mewed.

"I think we should attack," Eaglestrike growled. "We need to show them that they cannot trespass on our territory without consequences. The marsh isn't technically claimed by us, so we have no right to try and run them off there, but we still need to send them the message, and find out what they're doing if we can."

"Not to mention that we still haven't avenged Birchpool, or the other cats that were injured," said Fireblaze, his amber eyes narrowed.

Eaglestrike nodded. "I don't want this to turn into a bloodbath, but we can't let their crimes go unavenged." He looked to Silverstar again. "Shall I call a meeting?"

She dipped her head, then coughed as her breath caught in her throat. For an agonizing moment she wheezed for air, her blue eyes wide, before she managed to suck in a deep breath. She coughed twice more, before resting her head on her paws and letting out a tired sigh.

Spiderpaw felt a prickle of anxiety, but obediently followed his father and mentor out of the den. Eaglestrike headed towards the BranchPile, and yowled to call the Clan together. He quickly explained the situation, stressing that the marsh was not their territory and there was no telling how many cats were there, so they would need to be cautious in their approach.

"But we are going to attack, correct?" Stormshadow asked, frowning as he stared up at his deputy. "We are going to punish them?"

Eaglestrike nodded. "I intend to bring a patrol of warriors and ambush their camp, if we can find it. We need to sniff out their leader, Baron, and show him that we are not to be trifled with."

"What about PeakClan?" Darkstorm asked. "They might try to steal the snowberry plant again, or attack camp."

Eaglestrike nodded. "We'll need some cats to stay behind and protect the camp. I believe Forestheart will be staying behind, and Shimmerfrost is a capable fighter...Robinpaw, will you stay?"

Robinpaw's ears flattened and she ducked her head; Eaglestrike's eyes softened.

"I promise, you'll be on the front lines of the next battle, but I think your brother would rest easier for the moment if you were with him," the gray tom continued. Robinpaw nodded, more quickly this time.

"And Jaggedclaw, what about you?" Eaglestrike asked, turning his keen gaze on the scarred tabby. The elder seemed surprised. "I've heard that you are becoming strong again, and you are experienced," the deputy said. "If it came to it, do you think you could defend the camp?"

Jaggedclaw drew himself up, and Spiderpaw smiled, seeing how much stronger the scarred tabby had grown in the last moon. "I'll fight to the last breath, if that's what it will take."

Eaglestrike smiled, before flicking his gaze back to the rest of the Clan. "Now, if there is no one else that wishes to stay behind, I propose that all of us will be on the patrol to attack Baron. We need to send a strong, unified message, and since we don't know how many cats he has I think it's wisest to bring too many rather than too few."

_That means I'll be fighting, _Spiderpaw thought, and his eyes widened. He smiled despite himself. _I'll get the first taste of a real battle._

Someone padded up beside him. He turned to see that it was Blackfeather. She smiled, but there was a slight tremor running through her legs.

"Nervous?" he asked, and she nodded, looking sheepish.

"I know we've been in a skirmish before, so I shouldn't really be so nervous...but the PeakClan cats came out of nowhere. There wasn't time to worry about it...I don't want to think about anyone getting hurt, and I'm afraid I might freeze up, like in the old days..."

He touched her shoulder with his nose. "The old days are behind you. When you fought off those PeakClan cats, you weren't scared at all. You were smart, and you used that and your speed to your advantage. This time, we're the ones that are attacking _them;_ we'll have the element of surprise on our side. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but it can't be harder than what you've already faced."

She let out a quiet purr. "Thank you, Spiderpaw. That makes me feel better, at least a little bit."

"Besides, if you do freeze up, I'll have you back." He smiled, intending for it to be a joke, but to his surprise, Blackfeather's golden eyes gentled. She licked his muzzle, before turning as her brother called her name. She trotted away before he could say anything.

_That tingling again, _he thought, rubbing his paw over his muzzle. _So weird. She's been doing that a lot lately, too...I don't really understand it._

He frowned, but there was no time to dwell on it now. Eaglestrike was heading towards the camp's entrance, clearly ready to lead the troops to the marsh.

"Apprentices in the back," Eaglestrike ordered. Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed, but he didn't object as he fell in with Blizzardpaw. Redpaw was behind them, while Leopardpaw lurked even farther back.

_Probably going to run off the first chance she gets, _Spiderpaw thought, feeling a prickle of irritation. _She would have stayed back, but it would have been too conspicuous, I bet..._

"Do you mind if we don't start the training tonight?" Blizzardpaw asked, making Spiderpaw jump. "I think we'll both be tired after this."

Spiderpaw shrugged; in truth, he had forgotten his promise to train Blizzardpaw. "Fine with me. You might learn more from this battle anyway."

Blizzardpaw's whiskers twitched as he leaped through the camp entrance, following the other warriors. "I'm glad so many of us are going...but I'm worried we might still be outnumbered. Now would be a good time to have PeakClan on our side, but with the way things have been lately..."

Spiderpaw nodded. "I'm not sure I like it either, but who knows how Stonestar feels about us right now? He might be planning a raid of his own right now. I don't think Goldenshine and the others had his blessing when they attacked, but now he might be convinced it's the only way to get what he needs."

"Desperation can make cats do crazy things," said a voice behind them. Spiderpaw glanced over his shoulder, blinking as he realized that it was Redpaw who had spoken.

"What was that?"

The ginger tabby's ears flattened. "Nothing. Just something I heard Bluepaw say a couple times. She probably learned it from Shimmerfrost."

Spiderpaw doubted that Shimmerfrost had ever felt desperate in her life; it took so much to crack her icy shell, let alone bring up feelings of helplessness or despair. He thought of her and Goldenshine, and his mood soured further.

"I'm kind of glad Robinpaw won't be coming with us, to be honest," Blizzardpaw confessed. "I worry about her sometimes, with her leg...I know it shouldn't really handicap her too badly – she's determined and strong, and she's used to it by now – but I can't help but feel it might slow her down in a crucial instant...that something might happen to her..."

"I'm sure she'd be fine," Spiderpaw said. "You'll be there to look after her, and like you said, she's strong and capable. I think she only needs the chance to prove herself."

"That's what she's hoping for...I'm just worried it'll get her in trouble." Blizzardpaw shook his head, but his blue eyes remained clouded with worry.

Few cats spoke for the rest of the journey; mounting anxiety had caused a silence to fall over the group. The air crackled with tension as they neared the Thunderpath, and Eaglestrike held up his tail in warning.

"We'll split into two groups," he meowed. "Darkstorm, Ravenwing, and the apprentices will go through the pipe running underneath the Thunderpath, where it's safest. The rest of us will cross the Thunderpath – although if any of you would rather use the tunnel, you're welcome to, just be warned that it will slow us down."

The Clan murmured their assent and split apart, with Darkstorm, Ravenwing, and the remaining apprentices ducking into the tunnel. Spiderpaw let out a hiss of distaste at the dank, damp smell of the tunnel, and winced as the icy water bit into his paws and caused the fur on his belly to hang in cold clumps.

They reached the other side, and Spiderpaw gazed over the marsh for the first time. His eyes flicked over the several dark streams running through the tussocks of grass and mud, and he frowned. It seemed like an unpleasant place to live; how could any cats stand to have their paws muddy so often, and the way the water was already seeping into his fur?

_I suppose it's better than Twolegplace, _he thought, turning to stare at the hazy gray buildings in the distance.

They waited for the rest of the Clan to join them; it was nerve wracking to watch the warriors dodge the racing monsters, so Spiderpaw distracted himself by looking at the marsh once more. After observing the thick grass for a moment, he managed to spot a well-worn trail through the mud. There were clear pawsteps in the churned-up mud, and he could smell rogues over the scent of the brackish water.

There were more birds than he had expected; there were no trees for them to perch in, but he spotted some of them hanging on thick reeds or simply crouching in the grass. They filled the air with a strange cacophony that was very different from the soft music of the forest birds, but no less beautiful for its strangeness.

He turned back to see Eaglestrike looking for the path, and he pointed it out to his father with his tail. The deputy gave him a nod, before flicking his own tail, signaling for the Clan to follow.

The path was narrow, forcing them to condense themselves into pairs. Spiderpaw's fur brushed against Blizzardpaw's white pelt, and he found himself wishing to be touching a darker pelt instead. He could see Blackfeather in front of him, but she had been paired up with Fireblaze already, and he knew the ginger tom would be hard-pressed to leave his sister's side.

The scent of the rogues grew stronger, and Eaglestrike began moving more slowly until the group's rate had slowed to a crawl. His gray ears swiveled in all directions, searching for every sound, and Spiderpaw found himself copying him, his pelt crawling with anxiety.

Eaglestrike came to a complete halt, peering through the reeds ahead of them. He turned to face his warriors, and nodded. Spiderpaw tensed and unsheathed his claws: the rogue camp was directly in front of them, hidden by the reeds.

Eaglestrike suddenly let out a battle cry, and charged forwards; the Clan followed him with yowls of their own, their paws churning up the mud and sending up a spray of dark water in all directions.

Spiderpaw burst through the reeds and looked around quickly, sizing up the situation. The rogue's camp was large, larger than he had expected. It was a rare patch of dry land, rising slightly above the mud. He could see the mouths of various dens that had been carved out of the earth; to their right was a large pond covered with scum.

Dozens of cats stared at them with shock that quickly turned to anger. The air was suddenly filled with screeches as the rogues charged at their attackers. Spiderpaw saw Blackfeather for an instant, grappling with a tabby tom, but she was quickly lost to him as more cats got in his way.

Sharp claws pricked his hindquarters and he turned with a snarl, cursing himself for allowing himself to become distracted. To his surprise, it was only Petalcloud.

"Keep sharp, Spiderpaw!" she ordered. "Don't let yourself be distracted. Keep yourself safe, and make me proud!"

He opened his mouth, but didn't have time to speak before the gentle calico threw herself at a scarred rogue with surprising force. His mouth opened in a snarl as she tackling him to the ground, sending up a spray of dirt and mud.

Spiderpaw turned back, his green eyes narrowing as he searched for his own opponent. He finally settled on a silver tabby that had a glazed expression on her face; she seemed too shocked to properly react to what was happening.

_Might as well run her off so she doesn't get in the way, _he thought, and leaped at her, paws outstretched. She didn't react in time to avoid him, although he found that her pelt was too coated with mud for him to get a good enough grip to pin her down. She writhed underneath of him, flailing in all directions. He managed to get in a few slashes and a bite before she threw him off; rather than facing him, she turned away and fled, disappearing into one of the dens.

_Coward, _he thought with a hiss, and prepared to charge after her, only to find himself being knocked to the ground. Dirt coated the inside of his mouth and nose when he tried to hiss, and for a moment he couldn't breath. He thrashed, managing to turn himself onto his back to lash out at his attacker.

"You will _not _be attacking her," his assailant spat. It was a black tom with a white 'bib' running down his front. His yellow eyes were bright with anger as he snarled down at Spiderpaw.

Spiderpaw hissed and raked his claws down the tom's stomach, only to let out a yowl of pain as the tom's own claws stabbed into his tender gut. Spiderpaw tried to kick him off, but the tom was too large, and was barely winded by his feeble efforts.

"It's pathetic that they have to send kits to fight my cats," the black-and-white tom sneered. Spiderpaw burned with anger, and he clawed the tom's muzzle, narrowly missing his eye.

"I'm no kit. I'm a proud apprentice of AshClan!" Spiderpaw spat back. "My father's the deputy of our Clan, and—" He realized that he had spoken too much too late. The black-and-white tom's yellow eyes gleamed, and with one movement he managed to flip Spiderpaw onto his stomach once more. Spiderpaw gagged as his face was pressed back into the mud. He flailed, but this time the tom had him in an unbreakable hold.

"Stop!" the tom yowled. "Stop right now, or I will kill this apprentice!"

The sounds of battle quieted, and Spiderpaw struggled to turn his head to see what was going on. He sucked in a tight breath as he saw his father, his face frozen with shock.

"Let him go," Eaglestrike snarled and took a step forward. A terrible growl was coming from deep within his throat, like nothing Spiderpaw had ever heard.

The tom holding Spiderpaw down did not flinch. "Take another step, and he dies." Spiderpaw hissed as he felt thorn-sharp claws prick his neck.

Ravenwing quickly stepped in front of her mate, holding him back. "You don't have to kill anyone," she said, her voice smooth and even. "We can negotiate. Killing him won't do you any good."

"Perhaps not, but I can't see you all letting it happen...not if he's your son." The black tom's eyes glinted. "I want all of the Clan cats out of my camp, now."

"We're not leaving our son here!" Eaglestrike hissed, pushing past Ravenwing. The black tom tensed, his claws digging further into Spiderpaw's fur.

"If you want him alive, then yes, you will," the tom said. "All of you, leave. I'm not negotiating anything right now: you either leave, or he dies. In two days' time, I'll meet with a cat of your choice, and we will negotiate his return."

Eaglestrike's eyes were wide with disbelief; they quickly flicked down to his son.

_Don't go, _Spiderpaw pleaded silently. _Don't leave me here!_

Eaglestrike's eyes clouded with pain and helplessness; he bowed his head. "Fine. We will return the day after tomorrow, at dawn, and I will get my son back. Understood?"

The black cat's ear twitched. "We'll see. Now, leave my camp, and take your stench with you." His lip curled.

Eaglestrike's fur bristled once more, but Ravenwing nosed him, pushing his shoulder gently towards the entrance. Eaglestrike gave the black tom a murderous glance, before looking back to Spiderpaw. "I promise, son, we won't let them hurt you."

Spiderpaw tried to speak, but the mud was clogging his mouth – yes, it had to be the mud, not the lump that was building in his throat as he watched his Clan disappear into the reeds – so he remained silent as his father turned away. He thought he saw Blackfeather mouth his name before she followed the others, but he wasn't sure, for at that moment the camp burst into a mixture of cheers and jeers at the Clan.

Once the warriors had all disappeared, the black tom flicked his tail. "Quiet!"

It took several minutes, but gradually the din died down. The black tom stepped back, but Spiderpaw only rolled onto his stomach and spat out the mud in his mouth and rubbed his nose; it would be foolish to try and get away when he was surrounded by enemies.

The black tom let out a quiet breath as if to calm himself, before he flicked his tail. "Alright, alright. Everyone pull themselves together. There are probably injuries that need to be treated...Kenya and Spectre, do you two have whatever herbs you need? If not, we can assemble a quick party to head into the Clan's territory and get whatever we need."

"I think we're fine, Baron," one of the cats he was addressing, a slim golden she-cat, mewed. Spiderpaw's ears pricked, and he blinked with surprise as he finally recognized the black-and-white tom's voice.

_He was on that patrol...he's the cat in charge! _Spiderpaw realized. _Of all the rotten luck...and that golden cat, she was on it too! I think she was the third cat to speak...she said Carmelo was dreamy, if I remember correctly. _He wrinkled his nose. _If she's supposed to be one of their healers, I guess they don't abide by the same rules as our medicine cats...of course not, why would they?_

Baron's eyes lingered on the golden she-cat for a moment longer than what was necessary, before he nodded. "Good. Before you begin, Kenya, look Faint over. This ruffian attacked her." He cuffed Spiderpaw's ear as he spoke, and Spiderpaw let out a low hiss.

The golden she-cat shrugged and looked to Faint; she was the silver she-cat that Spiderpaw had chased off, and she was blinking at him nervously in the entrance to her den. It wasn't until she padded out of the den that he realized why Baron had been so angry that he had attacked her: her belly was swollen with kits.

_She can't be more than ten moons old, _he thought with surprise. _How could she be with kits?_

"Spectre, you can begin looking at everyone else," Baron said, and the other cat, a silver tom, dipped his head and turned away, flicking his tail to summon all of the cats that were injured.

Spiderpaw glowered up at Baron, wondering what the black tom intended to do with him, but for the moment the leader seemed to have other things on his mind.

"Fern," he said finally, and a brown-and-white she-cat pushed her way through the crowd. Spiderpaw's ears flattened; she was the third member of the patrol, the first to have spoken, and had sounded as though she was the most sensible of the bunch. "I'm going to have to talk to Carmelo about all of this. Can I trust you to hold down the fort?"

She dipped her head to him. "Of course, sir. Are you going to eat before you leave?"

He shook his head, then hesitated. "Well...maybe I'll just grab something real fast."

He disappeared down into one of the dens, and Fern rolled her eyes. "Shouldn't have asked," she murmured to herself, before her green eyes settled onto Spiderpaw, and she frowned. "Sir?" she called into the den. "What do you want to do with the prisoner?"

Baron's initial prey was indiscernible, thanks to the prey stuffing his mouth. Fern waited patiently for him to chew and swallow.

"Just toss him into one of the empty dens, and make sure he has a guard. The guard can feed him later today," Baron replied. "If he needs to make dirt, his guard should go with him, so make it a tom."

Fern's nose wrinkled. "That goes without saying, doesn't it?" she asked quietly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Baron," she said with another roll of her eyes. "You there, prisoner. Come over here."

His eyes narrowed. "If you want me to move, you'll have to drag me."

Fern sighed. "That can be arranged, if you're going to be difficult about this. Tubs, get over here."

A very wide gray tom swaggered forward and stood over Spiderpaw. Spiderpaw's fur bristled, and he rose to his paws.

"Don't touch me," he spat at the gray tom, who only blinked at him mildly before looking to Fern.

"You can be his guard" she said to the gray tom, before looking back to Spiderpaw. She pointed towards one of the many dens scattered over the camp. "You'll be holing up in there until we can get rid of you."

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed, but he didn't say anything as he padded towards the den. He kept his head high, refusing to cower or quail under the multitude of stares. Only when he entered the den did he allow his trembling legs to collapse.

_They left me,_ he thought, pressing his nose against his paws. _I can't believe they just...left me here..._

He jumped as he heard a quiet cough behind him. He turned and found that Fern was blinking at him, looking uncomfortable.

"Just for the record, kidnapping really isn't our thing," she said in a hurried whisper. "Baron's just under a lot of stress...Carmelo is expecting quite a bit from him—er, what I mean is, we aren't going to hurt you. We have absolutely no intention of harming you in any way. We'll make sure you're taken care of and that your needs are met, and once the negotiations are made we will let you go...so try not to worry."

"You just don't want me to cause any trouble," he spat. "Afraid you'll wake up and find me at your throats?"

Her whiskers twitched. "Hardly. I'll have Tubs bring you some food soon. Stay in here; most of us are fairly tolerant, but some harbor ill will towards Clanners, and I wouldn't want Baron to return and find you dead. That would be...unpleasant." She wrinkled her dainty pink nose again, before stepping back. Spiderpaw heard Tubs' heavy pawsteps approach and then a thud as the gray tom settled himself near the entrance.

"Be seeing you," Fern meowed, before slipping out of the den. Spiderpaw waited to ensure she was gone before he looked back down at his paws.

_I don't think I can trust them, _he thought. _Who knows what they really have planned for me? I wouldn't put it past a bunch of rogues just to kill me...Father won't give them anything in negotiations anyway. He'll put the Clan's importance over mine, as he should..._

His jaw clenched; the idea was too painful to consider. He didn't want the Clan to suffer because he'd been stupid enough to get captured, but at the same time he couldn't imagine his father sacrificing him for the Clan's benefit.

He latched onto easier ideas instead. _What are these cats up to, anyway? What's Carmelo expecting of their leader? Obviously he has these cats here for some purpose, but it doesn't sound like they were sent here to plan an invasion...if they're meant to fight AshClan or PeakClan, he wouldn't send queens like Faint, or fat cats like Tubs...but what other purpose would the marsh have for him, beyond expanding his territory?_

_And what's the deal with Faint? I've never seen a queen as young as she is...although I guess I haven't seen many queens at all, really. Still, it's odd. If she was in the Clan, she'd still be an apprentice...did something happen to her?_

That idea was almost as unpleasant as the others, and he sighed quietly. Trying to puzzle everything out without any further information wouldn't be helpful...and it would drive him mad to lie around for two days until the negotiations arrived. He needed something to keep himself occupied.

_If I can trick them into thinking I'm being cooperative, I might be able to learn more about this whole operation, _he thought. _There are a lot of questions that the Clan and I need to have answered...and if Father does have to give away something valuable to get me back, the least I could do is provide some secrets. _

He nodded to himself. _That's what I'll do. These cats already see me as harmless...I just have to let them continue to think that until they let something slip, like Fern already has. And when I get home, maybe I'll be a hero..._

A grim smile twisted his muzzle; even he knew that was too much to hope for.

_I'll be lucky if the whole Clan isn't disgusted by the time all of this is over._

**AN: I don't know why these chapters are taking so long. They just...are. DDD:**

**And hey, it's Tubs again! Still being irrelevant, of course. He's just a big tub o' lard.**

**Also, some kind soul make me an article on TVTropes, which is pretty exciting! Me as an author us under Main/PrinPardus, whereas Shattered is under FanFic/Shattered. Go and add tropes right now, this very instant! Fill dem pages chock fulla tropes. O:**

**Also updated the oneshots with another one of the Dark Forest cats' stories, so please read/review it if you haven't already. C:**


	41. C h a p t e r  40

**AN: The big four-oh!**

**C _h a p t e r _40**

_She blinked slowly as she opened her eyes, and found to her surprise that her paws were moving by themselves. It only took her a moment to realize that she was having one of those _other _dreams: a dream about the cats from the past and their journey to find SkyClan._

_They were still following a river – whether it was the same one, she couldn't be sure – but the group was now framed by pine trees as they walked. A blanket of fallen nettles covered the ground, creating an eerie silence. Even now, Sootpaw was used to having leaves crunch under her paws; the nettles were unsettling, but she tried to ignore the sensation and focus on what was going on around her._

_To her relief, no cats were missing. There were also no new faces, so she assumed that Smoke had not joined their party as Rook and Nightingale had._

Another difference in the journeys, _she mused, before her ears flattened as she realized something else. _Since I'm having another dream, something else will happen on our journey, _she thought, a tremor of anxiety running through her. Then, her eyes narrowed and she steeled herself for whatever was to come. _No matter what it is, at least now I won't be alone. I have Bluepaw to confide in. She has a profound connection with StarClan – all medicine cats do – so I'm sure she'll know what this dream means, and what we should do to protect the others. I've just got to be sharp and pay attention, so I can be ready.

_She looked around again, and saw that the arrangement of cats was different than it had been before. The ThunderClan and WindClan cats were near the front, with Fogheart in the lead; the RiverClan and ShadowClan cats were further back, while the apprentices from all four Clans mingled in the middle._

I guess it's safer for the apprentices, with the warriors around to protect them? _She wondered. _Since they've lost two already, they must be nervous about losing any more...but it's tense here, that much I can feel. The RiverClan and ShadowClan cats have suffered the most thus far, and they aren't happy about it...

_She looked to the apprentices again, and frowned to herself. _I don't even know half their names, _she thought, and wished she could drift a little closer to hear their conversation. She was walking on the fringe of the group, where it was impossible for her to touch any of the other cats. She wasn't sure what would happen if she did, but she assumed that it wouldn't be good, since the dream – or was it StarClan? - was intentionally keeping her separated from them._

The only ones I know are Foxpaw and Birchpaw, from ThunderClan, _she thought, her gaze flicking to the ginger tom and pale tabby she-cat. They were walking close together, their pelts nearly touching, and seemed to be whispering to each other about something. Sootpaw strained to hear, but was too far away._

_She noticed that the apprentices were thinner than they had been before; looking over the others, she noticed that all of the journeying cats looked haggard. Clearly more time had passed for them than Sootpaw and the other cats on her journey._

_Tilting her head, she squinted up at the sky. It was a dismal day, with gloomy clouds hanging over their heads. Rain was coming – she could smell it on the air – and it carried with it the promise of thunder. An icy wind grazed her muzzle, and she shivered, feeling a prickle of sympathy for these strange Clan cats. They were separated from their homes and families, just like Sootpaw and the others were, but they didn't have the promise of returning home even if they failed. _

_Her ears pricked as one of the apprentices came to a sudden stop, and she turned to look curiously. To her surprise, it was the remaining RiverClan apprentice, the white she-cat who had been helpless as Nightpaw was tugged away by the river's current. The white apprentice was staring ahead of herself with a distant, glazed expression, as if she was seeing something that the others could not._

_It took the other apprentices a moment to realize that she had stopped, and when they did they peered at her with confusion._

"_What are you doing, Cloudpaw?" one of the apprentices asked. "What's wrong?"_

_Cloudpaw remained motionless, her eyes still fixed on some illusion. Then, her mouth opened, and in a deep, low, rasping voice, she said,_

"_A disaster is coming, for all of us. Our mission is failed: we must turn back."_

_By now the warriors had stopped as well, and they watched Cloudpaw with a mixture of fear and confusion. Fogheart took a step forward, tilting his head as he looked down at her._

"_Cloudpaw, are you alright?" he asked, his voice gentle and soft. Cloudpaw didn't respond, didn't even look up at him; she continued to stare sightlessly in front of her, oblivious to the world. Then, a shudder ran down the length of her body, and she blinked, her blue eyes clearing as she came out of her reverie. Her ears flattened as she saw everyone's eyes were upon her._

"_W-what?" she stammered. "Did I do something strange?"_

"_You just went into a trance or something!" Birchpaw said, her ears flat against her head. "You said that a disaster was coming!"_

_Cloudpaw looked to the others for confirmation, and a few of them nodded. Her eyes flicked down to her paws, and for a long moment she didn't say anything._

"_I don't know what happened," she said finally. "It was like I was here, but not...I don't know how to describe it. I thought I saw something, but..." She shook her head, then looked up at Fogheart once more. "What does it mean?"_

"_Yes, Fogheart, what _does _it mean?" Amberfur asked, a growl running underneath of her voice like a swift stream. "This entire journey was all your idea."_

"_We've been out here for two moons with nothing to show for it but two dead apprentices," Oakclaw growled, his eyes clouding with grief; Sootpaw guessed he was thinking of Toadpaw, the ShadowClan apprentice that had somehow died early in the journey._

_Fogheart's eyes were troubled, but he shook his head. "We can't turn back now. Redstar said that we can't go back, not until we find SkyClan."_

"_We're never going to find them! Get that into your thick skull!" Amberfur spat, her tail lashing from side to side. _

"_Besides, who cares what Redstar said? Dawnstar would be more than willing to take us back!" another ShadowClan warrior said. "Unlike ThunderClan, ShadowClan can't wander into Twolegplace and pick up any old kittypets we find lying around—"_

"_You know very well ThunderClan's blood is just as pure as any others," Fogheart meowed, irritation creeping into his voice. "I think we just need to keep a level head about this. Cloudpaw's tired, it might have just been nothing...and even if it was something, we don't know it was a message from StarClan. There are other cats that walk the skies, you know."_

_Whitecloud nodded. "Everyone's tired; we've all had a long couple of moons, but I'm sure if we rest we'll all feel better."_

_Amberfur let out a low hiss and turned away. "Fine. Let's set up camp for the night and be done with it. Cloudpaw, you and I are going to hunt."_

_Cloudpaw looked nervous, but followed the calico obediently. The two of them disappeared into the pines, and Fogheart and Whitecloud exchanged a glance. Sootpaw found it odd that they seemed to have an understanding – they were from different Clans, after all – but she didn't have much time to dwell on it._

"_Wake up!" a loud voice exclaimed, ringing in Sootpaw's ears. She blinked, feeling puzzled; none of the journeying cats had spoken. They were splitting into pairs, getting ready to embark upon their own hunts._

"_Wake up," the voice said again in an eager, whining voice. "Wake uuuuuu—_

-uuuuup!"

Sootpaw jolted awake as a paw poked her stomach. She found Bluepaw blinking down at her, looking amused. Her blue-gray tail swished from side to side as she cocked her head curiously. "What were you dreaming about? You were making weird noises. Besides, it's not night-time, silly! We've got a long way to go still!"

Sootpaw shook her head, blinking the sleep from her eyes. It took her a moment to remember where she was; the group had settled down around sunhigh for a short break, to give them all a chance to eat and rest.

"Sorry," she mumbled, licking her paw and drawing it over her ear. "I guess I dozed off there."

"C'mon! We're going to get moving again," Bluepaw purred, nosing Sootpaw to her feet. Sootpaw yawned, then sighed; her paws felt like lead.

"So, what were you dreaming about?" Bluepaw asked as the other cats rose to their paws as well and waited to start walking again.

"Nothing good," Sootpaw mewed, and recounted every detail that she could remember. Bluepaw listened with wide eyes, drinking in every word.

"Usually the dreams are warnings of what's to come...but this one wasn't really specific at all," Sootpaw mewed. "I mean, before we had the cats setting out, and then the river thing, and then that business with Adder...but this warning was just really vague. Disaster could happen at any moment...how are we supposed to know what to be prepared for?"

Bluepaw was no longer listening; her eyes were glazed much like how Cloudpaw's had been, although when Sootpaw spoke she snapped back to reality. "Oh, I wouldn't worry about it, Sootpaw. I think I have an idea about what it means." Her eyes gleamed, but she didn't say anything further. Sootpaw knew that wasn't like her – Bluepaw had a hard time keeping anything a secret for very long, especially not her own thoughts – but she decided not to pry. Bluepaw was the one with the medicine cat expertise, after all.

The monotony of their journey soon returned, and Sootpaw found herself nearly dozing off again on her paws. She turned to Bluepaw once more, desperate for anything to distract her from her boredom.

"So, what's the next part of the journey?" she asked, nudging Bluepaw with her shoulder to get her attention. "When do we leave the Thunderpath, if ever?"

"I think it should be soon," Bluepaw mewed. "The Thunderpath is just like a trail or a guide…but we'll be meeting up with it again later. Most cats travel along this path if they're going anywhere."

Sootpaw blinked, wondering how Bluepaw had learned that, but she assumed StarClan had told her. "Any more rhyming bits to tell us where to go?"

"_When you have the sun at your backs, turn and follow the Twoleg tracks,"_ she said with a twitch of her whiskers.

Sootpaw laughed. "They're not all that good at rhyming, are they? You'd think they'd have endless time to practice."

Bluepaw didn't laugh; she seemed distracted by some other thought, but she shrugged. "Maybe."

Silence reigned again until the sun began to set. Sootpaw felt a thrill of anticipation as she watched the golden disc descend towards the horizon. She hoped there was more to her dream than what she had seen; tensions were obviously high in Fogheart's group, and she wanted to see whether or not they flared into a full-on battle amongst the warriors.

_Do they ever get to go home? _She wondered. _Do they ever find SkyClan? I think they know they're going the wrong way now – they've been wandering for two moons without discovering any sign of them – but they can't force themselves to turn back and look down another path. At least we have Bluepaw to guide us…maybe Cloudpaw will be able to help them._

She snuck Bluepaw another side glance, noticing how dark the medicine apprentice's eyes were, and felt a flutter of sympathy stir within her. Bluepaw was young, and already the warriors of her Clan were looking to her for help and guidance. Sootpaw wasn't sure she would be able to handle that sort of pressure herself; StarClan had done well in choosing the blue-gray apprentice, even though she was a bit ditzy at times.

The cats stopped again just as the sun disappeared over the crest of the hills to their right. They settled down in a small grove of trees. Few words were spoken; there was just a simple understanding amongst the group as they split up. Everyone knew who liked sleeping next to who, who couldn't stand each other, who snored and mumbled in their sleep. It was strange for Sootpaw to realize that it almost felt like sleeping in the apprentice den, on a grander scale; by now she knew the sleeping habits of everyone – how Rook's thick tail usually ended up on at least one cat's nose, causing them to sneeze, how Nightingale always resting her head on his flank and purred softly in her sleep, how Rabbitleap had a tendency to kick whoever was sleeping next to her – even though they weren't all her Clanmates.

_We're like a Clan all our own, sort of, _she thought sleepily as Bluepaw snuggled up against her. _It's kind of nice, really…with the exception of Swanpaw, they're all really good cats, and I like being friends with them…even though I'm the youngest here, I still feel accepted…._

It wasn't until Bluepaw giggled that Sootpaw realized she was purring, but by then it didn't matter, she was already slipping away.

_Instead of the journeying cats, she was greeted by mist. Moonpaw was already bouncing forward to greet a ghostly figure, and as she blinked, Chillpaw solidified, joined by Shrew._

_She did feel a bit cheered, seeing Chillpaw again, but at the same time she was disappointed not to be learning more about Fogheart and the other ancient cats. Chillpaw seemed to pick up on this, for he tilted his head to the side and watched her for a moment._

"_Expecting someone else?" he asked, as the forest appeared around them. She flicked her ear at him._

"_Sort of," she replied. "I had another one of those dreams…about Fogheart, and the others…but I woke up before I finished it, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to now. I don't really get how they work."_

"_I suppose it's up to StarClan, so there's no reason to worry about it," Chillpaw said, as unruffled as ever. For an odd, brief moment, she felt a prickle of envy as she wondered what it might be like to never have to worry, to never have to think of anyone before herself. Chillpaw had no attachments to any living cat, and in that manner, he was freer than she could ever be._

But more alone, too, _she thought, before refocusing on Shrew. He couldn't meet her gaze; his yellow eyes were fixed firmly on his paws, and he looked like an abashed kit._

"_It's Shrew's turn, obviously," Chillpaw said. "I think I can trust you two alone together."_

_Shrew flinched as Chillpaw spoke, as if the white tom was mocking him. Sootpaw wasn't certain, but she didn't think he was; it wasn't Chillpaw's manner to be needlessly cruel. Chillpaw didn't seem to notice Shrew's discomfort at all; he was already looking in the direction of the pool, and Sootpaw withheld a sigh._

I'm not sure I even want to know what sort of scheme he's trying to make with that pool, _she thought. _The memory thing is cool and all…but he doesn't seem content with it. There has to be another purpose to it…he's not the type to waste his time, otherwise.

"_If you have other things you'd rather be doing, that's fine." It came out harsher than she'd intended, and his blue eyes flicked to her._

"_If you'd rather, I could stay." His voice was slow, and for some reason an odd prickle ran down her spine. She looked down at her paws, wondering why she was feeling so flustered all of a sudden._

"_No, no, I didn't mean it like that. You've got a lot going on, and not much time to get it all worked out…I understand. Shrew and I will be fine. I'm sure we can entertain ourselves without someone to watch over us." She attempted to shoot the brown tom a friendly smile, but he still wasn't looking at her._

_Chillpaw shrugged. "I'll return soon enough." With that, he slipped away into the brush, leaving Sootpaw and Shrew sitting together in awkward silence._

"_Well, um, how do you want to do this?" she asked finally, shifting her weight from paw to paw._

"_Like you did with Swiftshade, if you don't mind," Shrew mumbled. "I don't think I'm tough enough to take what you did to Brightstar."_

Was it really that bad for her? _Sootpaw wondered, feeling a prickle of guilt. She forced herself to push the emotion away – Brightstar had done far worse things, after all – but did find herself feeling more sympathetic towards Shrew. He was obviously the nervous sort, and cats like Chillpaw probably frightened him out of his fur._

"_That's okay," she said and sat down. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable or anything, so long as you don't lie to me. We couldn't get the truth out of Brightstar…that's why we had to use the pool. But if you're like Swiftshade, and perfectly honest, then there won't be any sort of need for that."_

_She smiled again, but although Shrew glanced up at her this time, he did not return it. He copied her, sitting down as well, but he curled his tail around his paws as if trying to throw up some sort of barrier around himself._

This might be more difficult than I'd thought. _She let out a quiet sigh._

"_Well…um, you came from ShadowClan, right? Brightstar was alive during your time, correct?"_

_He nodded. "Yes, and yes. Brightstar was a young warrior when I was a kit, and a leader by the time I became a warrior myself."_

_It seemed like he had more to say about the ginger-and-white she-cat, perhaps about the battles between WindClan and ShadowClan that Brightstar had alluded to previously, but he seemed to hold back the words at the last second. They descended into awkward silence again._

_Sootpaw tried a few more questions, about his family and Clan, but was greeted only with clipped replies and trembling shoulders. It was very frustrating; she could practically scent his secrets – his fear-scent was almost overpowering – but she couldn't reach them through the stone wall that he had created around himself. She gave an inward sigh, trying to think of a way to breech his defenses._

_She tilted her head back, hoping for some inspiration in the sky, but was greeted only with a vacant blue sky and fluffy clouds. Frowning, she scuffed the ground with one paw, then blinked as something occurred to her._

This is my dream, _she thought. _Chillpaw's just sharing it, but he can manipulate his surroundings and create the forest we're in, and the pool that he uses. Moonpaw can construct dreams too. If they can both control the dream, I should be able to as well.

If I could create a setting he's more comfortable with, something familiar for him, perhaps….

"_It's not hard," Moonpaw whispered in her ear, and Sootpaw smiled, wishing that she had the power to appear whenever she wanted, as her black-furred friend did. "Just picture what you want to create, and close your eyes. Paint it in your mind, think of every detail, and it will come to life for you. I'll help, okay?"_

_Sootpaw felt Moonpaw's warm pelt press against her side, and she closed her eyes as the black apprentice had instructed._

ShadowClan's territory was marshy and muddy, from what I can tell, _she thought. _I've been in a marsh before, so it shouldn't be that hard…I think anything would be better for Shrew than the forest.

_She took in a deep breath, trying to recall the marsh. She remembered that night in the reeds when she had been all alone; she remembered the way she had crushed the reeds to create a little nest, how they had formed a sturdy wall around her, protecting her from the dangers of the marsh. She remembered the dark brown-black mud, how it had stuck to her paws until she felt at least an inch taller. She remembered the streams and creeks that wove through the grassy tussocks, some dark with mud, others fresh and clear. She remembered the singing of the birds – who had known that so many birds could live where there were no trees? – and the low sounds of the frogs greeting the darkness. She remembered the stories her mother had told her, of the night that she and Eaglestrike had spent in the marsh catching fireflies together. It had been magical, her mother had said, for the fireflies wove in between the reeds like shining stars, and danced over the water, making it seem clean and pure…._

_She took in another deep breath, and thought that perhaps she could smell the faintest hint of the marsh on the breeze, could hear the quietest chirps of birds. She breathed in again, focusing on the scent, and imagined replacing the smell of leaves and musky rodents with thick grass and dank water. She inhaled one last time, picturing mud squishing between her toes and sticking to her tail. She heard the sounds of paws splashing in shallow water and squelching over the wet earth._

_She heard someone else suck in a deep breath, and opened her eyes to see Shrew's expression of astonishment. The forest around them had given way to the marsh, almost exactly the way she remembered it. The reeds were all around them, pointing up into the sky, dappling them with green light. Between her and Shrew a small creek flowed sluggishly, with flies buzzing just above the surface. She was sitting on a dry path of earth, as was he, but the two of them were surrounded by damp muck._

"_Y-you…how?" Shrew seemed bewildered, and for a moment he looked more nervous than ever. Then, somewhere, a bird sang out, followed by a gusty chorus, and Sootpaw smiled as Shrew's shoulders relaxed._

"_It's my dream," she mewed. "You all are just borrowing it. Is this like ShadowClan's territory?"_

"_There aren't any trees," Shrew said, reaching out to dab one paw in the water. He shivered and drew back, but a slight smile flickered on the edges of his muzzle._

"_What kind of trees are there supposed to be?" Sootpaw asked, a slight purr in her voice. "If you can describe them to me, I might be able to make them."_

_He frowned, and wrinkled his nose. "Well…they're not all that big, I guess, but they have these huge roots…they're really good for hiding in, like when your mentor is looking for you, or the other apprentices want to dunk you in the mud again because you're so much smaller than they are…."_

_Sootpaw lost track of time then, as the two of them went back and forth, building the perfect marsh. Sootpaw tried to soak up every detail in Shrew's descriptions, tried to get everything right down to the last knobby branch and veined leaf; Shrew was quite apt at describing the scenery he remembered once he loosened up, and he often let other details slip, like how he had had two sisters growing up, but they had both died fairly young, or how he had caught his first prey because some large bird, a heron perhaps, had flushed it out for him. It was a surprisingly pleasant way to pass the time, and by the time Shrew was satisfied, the two of them were giggling over the habits of toads and the stupidity of male apprentices. The truth was, she could feel comfortable around him; unlike the others, he was intimidating or frightening at all. Truth be told, he was probably more afraid of most of the Dark Forest cats than she was. He had an odd vulnerability in him that she couldn't quite place, but it made her feel like she was talking to a fellow apprentice rather than a warrior._

"—_I think the worst time was when Frogpaw decided that it would be a good idea to poke his nose into…." Shrew faltered for a moment, and his face fell. "I'm not doing a very good job, am I? We've wasted a lot of time. Chillpaw will be angry with us when he gets back."_

_Sootpaw flicked her tail against his flank. "You're doing fine, don't worry. Swiftshade and I talked for a long time too, and Brightstar needed two sessions to let all the truth out. If we need to take two, we can. It shouldn't be a problem. Besides, if Chillpaw still hasn't come back yet, he's probably too busy to care. You've done very well so far, Shrew. I've learned a lot. ShadowClan sounds fascinating…I'd like to visit it sometime, if I was able to."  
><em>

_Shrew shook his head. "Oh, no, you can't do that. ShadowClan has never been all that friendly to outsiders, and things certainly aren't going to get any better. ShadowClan will be entering a dark period pretty soon, and it wouldn't be safe for you at all. Why, it's going to be almost as bad as—"_

_His eyes widened and he clenched his jaws. Sootpaw frowned and reached out with her tail again, but he drew away from her touch and stared down at his paws once more, looking just as timid as he had when he had first arrived in her dream. Sootpaw wanted to yowl with frustration: just when she thought she was getting closer to the truth, he had withdrawn back into his shell._

"_As bad as what, Shrew?" she asked, trying to keep her voice as soft and gentle as she could to coax the truth out of him._

_Shrew shook his head. "No…please, don't make me say anything. It's been so nice – you have no idea how nice – to get away from that dreadful forest…and it's been wonderful having someone to talk to who doesn't hate me, but I just know that if I tell you, you'll hate me like everyone else…please don't make me, please don't make me tell." He blinked at her with wide, pitiful eyes, looking like a helpless kit, and sniffled._

_She felt a prickle of foreboding, but hid her worry. "I promise I won't hate you, Shrew. I'm here to help you get into the next life, remember? Besides, you can't be worse than Brightstar or Swiftshade."_

_He shuddered. "I'm much, much worse."_

_She wanted to press him further, but something told her to hang back. She watched him for a moment as he stared into the flowing creek. He reached out to the water, then drew his paw over the soft mud, watching it stick to his paw._

"_I think ShadowClan lives in the darkness for a reason," he said finally. "There are bad things inside of all of us. Maybe it's the same way in other Clans, I don't know, but some part of me would like to believe that it's just my Clan's fault, that it was in my blood…that I never had a choice to begin with...but I can't force myself to believe that._

"_You said Brightstar already told you about the war between WindClan and ShadowClan, right? Did she tell you how StarClan tried to strike her down with a bolt of lightning? But they missed somehow, and they struck a dry patch of ShadowClan territory instead…if it had been any other time of year, or even any other greenleaf, we would have been fine. ShadowClan's territory is always damp and wet, and mud doesn't burn well…but that greenleaf was different. That greenleaf was dry, dry, dry as bones, and that lightning sparked a fire that consumed our territory. _

"_Even that would have been okay, if there was time for the forest to recover…but we were on the edge of greenleaf already, and before we knew it leaf-fall had arrived, and then there were early frosts that killed everything that had survived the fire…still, even then there was enough prey to get by…we just had to scrape by with empty bellies for a few nights, that's all…." He shook his head. "It was leaf-bare that broke us. All of our prey was either dead or hiding. In desperation, a hunting party ventured into the Twoleg dump on the edge of our territory, and brought back what little food they could find. The prey was infected with some sort of disease…we never really had a name for it. There wasn't time to think of one. It swept through the entire Clan, killing off warriors and apprentices and queens and kits until the Clan crumpled…."_

So whatever he did, he was driven to it by the terrible circumstances he was facing, right? _She thought, trying to be optimistic. _Maybe he thinks his crime was worse than it really was…?

"_There were only a few warriors left, myself included, who were expected to take care of the entire Clan," Shrew continued. "We were sent out to hunt all day, and the Clan would eat whatever remained, starting with the queens, kits, and apprentices, and moving upwards. We, the hunters, were one of the last to eat. Sometimes we'd only have enough for a few cats, and even with all our hard work we didn't get to eat at all, and we were still expected to go out the next day and catch more…we ran ourselves ragged trying to save everyone, while the sickness continued to overwhelm the Clan."_

_His voice broke, and he bowed his head. "You have no idea what it's like, being that hungry. I know you were hungry when you were following the journeying cats on their way to get the snowberry plants…but that was only a couple days, and you knew you didn't have long to wait. It's different when there's no promise of food that day, or the next, or the next. It's different when you're running all over the territory, climbing over mud and burnt grass and crushed reeds until your paws bleed, only to have nothing to show for it. It's different when you can see your breath puffing out in front of you, and you wonder how many breaths you still have left in your body before you finally give up like everyone else."_

_He shook his head. "I couldn't do it. I had always been weak, as an apprentice…the others bullied me for that. I grew skilled in hiding and stalking and running, all of which helped me hunt…and helped me to get away with my secret eating." He swallowed. "Sometimes in the morning, I would go off on my own to hunt. It was easier then, when there aren't any cats to get in your way. I would scent and crouch and stalk until I made a kill, and then I would run to my secret place – one of those big trees I described, with roots that created huge caverns underneath the trunk – and I would hide there and eat. I would eat the entire prey, even when I felt I was going to burst – when you go awhile without eating, your stomach shrinks, you know – and then I would go to sleep until sunhigh or so, when I reported back to the Clan and helped them hunt more._

"_I know that was wrong…I tried to rationalize it, to say that I was only eating to keep up my strength so that I could feel my Clanmates…I tried to tell myself that the next thing I caught would go to the kits and the queens, even if I was hungry, but I was too weak…I always caved in and ate before them."_

"_That's understandable, Shrew," Sootpaw mewed, feeling a flicker of pity for the thin brown tom. "You were starving, and desperate. Your entire Clan seemed like it was collapsing. When push comes to shove, a lot of warriors do selfish things because they're frightened."_

_Shrew shook his head from side to side, shaking with distress and shame. "No, no, that's not it! That's not what I did. The prey-stealing was bad, but what I did…it was so much worse."_

_Sootpaw reached out with her tail again, and this time he didn't pull away. "Go on."_

_He took in a deep, shuddering breath. "The cats that were hit the hardest were the young ones, and the tired. A lot of kits got sick and died, and most of the queens succumbed as well. By the middle of leaf-bare, there was only one queen left, and three kits. One of the kits was ill. Our medicine cat said he would probably die soon. She wanted to use poppy seeds to take away his pain so that he could just slip away, but the other cats said she couldn't, that they might need the seeds for other cats too._

"_By that time, all the prey was gone. Even I couldn't find anything. I went five straight days without eating…which was nothing compared to how long other cats had gone, but it was torturous to me. By the fifth day, I was willing to do anything for food. I heard the medicine cat talking about the kit, how he was going to die…and I…." His voice faltered again. "I knew what I had to do._

"_I waited until the medicine cat was asleep. She never had visitors, and she was too tired to stay awake for more than a few hours. I snuck into the den, and stole a few poppy seeds. I fed them to the kit, promising that they would make him feel better, and he died. I left a little blood near the entrance, so it would look like some animal had taken him – a desperate fox, maybe – and I took him into the marsh. I went to my secret place, and I…I…."_

_His eyes found hers again, and as she stared into his tortured gaze and realized what he had done, her stomach churned. She stepped back, away from him, and his ears flattened against his head. She turned away, trying to steady herself as nausea swept over her. She pictured a kit, just a tiny scrap of fur, between Shrew's paws, imagined him bending his thin muzzle down and taking the kit's soft body in his jaws, and—_

_She retched, her back arching as her stomach heaved. She panted, trying to block out the images that were flying through her mind. She heard Shrew give a tiny, miserable whimper, but couldn't bear to look at him._

"_That's not all, is it?" she asked, keeping her eyes closed. "There were more, weren't there?"_

"_The last queen died," Shrew said. "The two kits were orphaned. They were starving. They were alone and desperate just like I was. I brought them the seeds too, and they ate them…I wouldn't have forced them to if they didn't want to, but I couldn't let them suffer, and there was no reason to force them to live another torturous day…they weren't going to survive, that much seemed obvious. The two kits ate the seeds, and I took them too, back to my tree. No one ever found out. By that time, everyone was past caring about a few parentless kits."_

_A shudder ran through Sootpaw's body. "That was enough to get you through leaf-bare, wasn't it?"_

_She heard him shift his weight, the muck oozing beneath his paws. "The next day, it stormed, as if StarClan was punishing me. It poured rain for four days and four nights, while we cowered in our dens…we didn't know what was happening. We didn't know if the rain would ever stop…it seemed like StarClan was trying to drown the entire forest. _

"_When the rain stopped, it was like the camp had been cleansed. No more cats fell ill. It started to get warm again. Our territory began coming back to normal…it was slow, painful, but it was just in time to save our Clan."_

"_Those kits would have made it, if you hadn't…if you hadn't fed them those seeds?" She glanced at him finally, and his yellow eyes bored into hers. _

"_I don't know. The rains might not have happened if I hadn't done what I did…maybe StarClan was punishing me, trying to make me feel remorse…or perhaps they regretted the deaths of the kits and were trying to make sure no more cats died. Maybe StarClan had nothing to do with the rains at all. I don't know."_

_Sootpaw could finally understand why the other Dark Forest cats were so disgusted with Shrew, why they treated him like an outcast even amongst the worst of criminals._

"_How could you do that? How could you sacrifice innocent kits for your own survival? Eating prey is one thing, but…." She trailed off as her stomach threatened to heave again._

"_I don't know." His eyes were clouded with pain and shame. "I was weak, I was selfish, I was a monster…I was desperate, I was disgusting, I was horrible. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of those kits, wondered what would have happened if I had allowed myself to die to let them live."_

"_But you don't feel remorse, or you wouldn't be here."_

"_Maybe there are some crimes that StarClan can't forgive." He bowed his head. "Or maybe they know that if it all happened over again, I would still do the same thing. It's so easy to imagine being a hero, saying that you would do what's right, but when it really comes down to it, there are heroes and there are cats like me…cats that are too weak to do what must be done, to uphold the warrior code, to lead noble lives. The other apprentices always called me a coward. I thought I could be a hero for ShadowClan, that I could prove them all wrong, but when it really came down to it, they were right."_

_Shrew had been right when he said that Sootpaw would be angry and disgusted. She could barely look at his thin body – without the shadows of the Dark Forest, she could see his ribs poking through his fur – or his pleading eyes._

_She twisted around as she heard pawsteps approaching them, and blinked as Chillpaw pushed his way through the reeds. He glanced between the two of them, observing the tension with cold detachment._

"_I'm assuming you two are finished now?" he asked. Shrew's ears flattened and he nodded, shuffling his paws._

"_Let's go, then," Chillpaw said, flicking his tail._

"_Can you stay?" Sootpaw blurted. Surprise flickered over Chillpaw's face, but he nodded._

"_I have a little time, I suppose," he said, as Moonpaw sprang through the reeds._

"_I can take him back," Moonpaw purred, flicking her tail to Shrew. "Come with me!" She hopped forward to touch noses with him, and Sootpaw watched the two of them fade out of sight._

_Chillpaw's gaze lingered where Shrew had been sitting, before he turned back to Sootpaw. "Well?"_

_She shook her head, feeling weary. "I don't know. I didn't think things could get worse, but they have…I'm only three cats in. I still have four of you to talk to, and I doubt you can promise that things will get better from here on out."_

"_You're right, I can't promise that," he said, coming to sit down beside her. "But I don't think you want a promise. I think you want consolation, or perhaps reassurance that what you are doing here is right."_

"_You can't give me that, either," she meowed, feeling frustration welling up inside of her. "You could just be lying, after all. There's no way for me to know that I can even really trust you. All these things you've done for me – that snow dream, and playing games when I ask, and coming to talk to me when I'm worried – might just be to make sure I go along with your plan. You said it yourself, you're devoid of compassion. Everything out of your mouth could be a lie."_

_He nodded. "That's completely true. I was obviously well-practiced in the art of deceit before I died; otherwise I would never have accomplished my goal. I could very easily be lying to you. I suppose it all comes down to a matter of trust, in the end."_

"_I guess you wouldn't be here in my dream if I didn't trust you, at least a little bit," she replied. "Still…I don't understand it. Brightstar's insufferable, but I did feel bad for her when we watched her memories. Swiftshade and Shrew are honestly very nice, and when I was talking to them it was easy to forget where we were or why we were talking at all…even you're not _terrible._ But you all did some truly terrible things. I just don't understand how that could be." She sighed. "I'm starting to worry that even if I help you all, I'm only making things worse…I'm afraid that your new journeys in life will be the same as your old ones, just like how Fogheart's journey seems so similar to mine. Am I helping anyone by doing this, or will I just end up hurting more cats, in the long run?"_

_Chillpaw simply blinked at her for a long moment. Then, he looked away, his blue eyes flicking up towards the sky. "I'm sorry there aren't any easy answers for you, Sootpaw. Like I said before, Dark Forest cats aren't skilled at seeing the future. Our reach only goes so far. I cannot tell you what will happen if we succeed…but I think it will be for the better." He glanced at her again, tilting his head to the side. "Do you truly think I am not terrible?"_

_She twitched her whiskers at the question. "I know I probably should, considering what a mess you've made in AshClan…but you've done some kind things too, like that dream with all the snow…there was no reason for you to do that but kindness, so I can't think you're all terrible." She frowned. "Surely I'm not the first one to tell you that?"_

"_Even before I attacked Silverstar, most cats did not think fondly of me," Chillpaw said. "I did not have any friends, although Bluepaw and Redpaw did follow me around for a few days while they were kits, after I saved them. Most cats were wary of me. Silverstar was one of the few that was open with me, but since she was my aunt and mentor, that was to be expected." He was quiet for a moment, and seemed to be mulling something over. _

"_Silverstar always said that one of the hallmarks of a great warrior was their ability to follow their heart," he said after a long pause. "I was unable to do that, of course, being as emotionally stunted as I am. You, however, are quite the emotional cat. Your heart has pulled you this far already; I do not think it would be wise to turn away from your endeavors now. You're the kind of cat that would always be wondering about the lost possibilities, of what had happened to us when you turned your back on us. I do not think you will be able to rest until you see this all through."_

"_Silverstar had a thing for second chances, too, and look where that got her," Sootpaw meowed, a note of bitterness in her voice. She wasn't sure, but she thought a brief flinch passed over Chillpaw's face, although he regained his composure too quickly for her to be certain of what she had seen._

"_True enough. Silverstar wasn't cynical enough for her own good; she was too much of an idealist. If she recovers, though, I feel her viewpoint will have changed," Chillpaw replied. He cocked his head to the side again, watching her. "If you're still feeling uneasy, we could play that game again. I believe last time it helped you relax."_

_Sootpaw purred at the memory of Chillpaw's attempt at playing a game intended for kits. "No, I think I'm okay…and I don't really feel like running around anyway. Building this dream was pretty exhausting, more so than I had thought it would be. I think I'd rather just rest a bit."_

_Chillpaw motioned to his shoulder with his tail, and Sootpaw blinked at him, feeling uncertain. "I do not mind if you wish to lean upon me. I'm not sure if it is possible to fall asleep in a dream, but you are welcome to try. I do not think it would impact me too negatively."_

_Sootpaw hesitated, then leaned forward, resting her head upon his thickly-furred shoulder. His warmth was comforting against her mother, and she let out another quiet sigh. _

"_See what I mean?" she mewed with a gentle smile as he blinked down at her. "You're not that terrible."_

**AN: Sooo, although some of you guessed it already, Shrew was indeed the tom in the 'Skeleton' oneshot. More on the blog.**

**I'm trying to get back on the old schedule, I sweaaaarrrrrrrrrr**


	42. C h a p t e r  41

**C **_**h a p t e r **_**41**

He slept fitfully, tossing and turning in the prisoner's den. There was no moss in his den for a nest, and no rogues had brought him one; he wasn't sure if it was because there was no moss to be found in the marsh, or if they just wanted to ensure that he would be too tired to try and escape. Escape wasn't on his mind anyway; he doubted he had the skills for such a thing, with so many rogues crawling around, and he had a lot to learn about them before he was willing to leave anyway.

The next morning he arose with crusty eyes and leaden paws. He forced himself to pad into the entrance of the den before he lied down again, keeping only his front paws and nose out of the shadows. Tubs was fast asleep, but awoke only a few minutes after Spiderpaw appeared in the entrance. Tubs blinked at him with bleary yellow eyes, before stretching and yawning, giving his broad head a good shake before resting it on his paws.

"It was cold last night," he rumbled. "Sleeping in a den must have been nice."

Spiderpaw bristled. "Yeah, it was fantastic. I love falling asleep in a filthy den in the middle of an enemy camp. It was much better than being in my own den with a moss nest to sleep on."

Tubs rolled his eyes. "No reason to go into theatrics there, little scrap. It's not like we want you here. Your Clan shouldn't have attacked us. You wouldn't be in this mess, otherwise."

"You shouldn't have been trespassing in our territory! You rogues shouldn't be here in the first place. AshClan needs the marsh during leaf-bare!"

Tubs rolled his eyes. "That's funny, considering that Baron said he's been here for nearly half a moon and hasn't seen a single Clan cat in the marsh. You all must not need it that badly. If it's anyone's fault, it's yours. Honestly, little scrap, who's dumb enough to blurt out that their father's the Clan's all-powerful deputy?"

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed; he knew it had been a boneheaded move, but he didn't need this fat lard of a cat telling him so. "Who's dumb enough to stuff himself with kittypet food until he's barely able to walk?"

Tubs didn't seem offended; he simply blinked down at Spiderpaw as if he couldn't believe what the 'little scrap' had said, before he let out a low, rumbling purr. "I suppose you had a point. Getting around ain't easy with all this bulk weighing me down. In a few days, you'll be home, but I'll still be fat." His purr gave way to quiet laughter, which made Spiderpaw feel more frustrated than ever.

"If you're the kind of cat that enjoys kittypet muck, why are you here?" he asked. "Surely there's better food elsewhere, and softer beds."

Tubs appeared thoughtful. "It's an odd story, that. I didn't use to mind leaning on the Twolegs so much, but I had a strange little run-in with a pair of she-cats in Twolegplace not too long ago. They were little spitfires, or at least the silver one was; she was chastising me the entire time for depending on Twolegs for my meals, rather than living on my own. I didn't think much of it at the time, but after the two of them left to wherever it was they were headed, her words kept nibbling at me. When I went to get some Twoleg grub that night, I found that for once I didn't have an appetite at all.

"I'd heard about this Colony, o'course, but it was that night that I actually gave it some serious thought. By the time the dawn came, I'd made my decision. Thus far I haven't regretted it, but the moon's still young." He winked.

"Two she-cats?" Spiderpaw echoed, his ears pricking. "One was silver, you said? Was the other one gray?"

Tubs nodded. "Her coat was a little odd…it was gray, but sort of splashed or dappled or something with darker gray. Her eyes were yellow, I remember…she didn't say all that much."

_Sootpaw! _Spiderpaw thought, and felt his heart begin to thud in his chest. _So she's okay, or at least she was less than half a moon ago…what was she doing in Twolegplace with Reedrush? What were they looking for?_

He burned with curiosity, but forced himself to put it aside, at least for the moment. He needed to focus on his real mission, to learn everything he could about this 'Colony.'

"What did you say this little group is called?" he asked, putting on his best curious apprentice voice, like he had heard Bluepaw and Sootpaw meow so many times.

"A Colony," Tubs repeated. "That's what Carmelo is calling them, at least. I reckon he thinks it sounds sharp. Carmelo's Colonies. I s'pose it has a nice enough ring to it."

Spiderpaw frowned. At least there was some proof that Carmelo was behind the machinations of the rogues now, but he still didn't understand why the rogues were in the marsh in the first place, or why they had attacked the AshClan patrol before. It didn't sound like Baron's cats had been involved in that, so why had it happened at all? From what Spiderpaw had heard, Carmelo was a bit of a mysterious figure to the Clan cats. He hadn't been as notable as Cane or Amber, and had mostly stayed low and allowed the siblings to waste their strength fighting each other, rather than engage them himself. His only real move had been to align himself with Lion. It had been a smart one; when Lion lost and TalonClan fractured, Carmelo had absorbed most of the displaced cats. He had also taken in most of Cane's toms. That meant he was a powerful force in Twolegplace now, one that the Clans would need to be wary of.

"What does Amber think about these colonies?" he inquired. Tubs blinked.

"You're the third cat to have asked me about her, and it sounds like you knew the first two. Does the Clan not know that she's dead?"

Tubs gauged the answer from Spiderpaw's wide eyes, and shook his head. "Honestly, you think you all would have kept in touch, considering how she helped save your tails. Amber's dead, has been for moons now. Flicka's technically in charge of her cats, but she and Carmelo have some sort of understanding…I don't know much about politics, it's all a bit much for my thick skull. Anyway, Flicka hasn't protested about anything. She even gave Amber's favorite base to Carmelo, for it to be used as a haven for the queens of both groups. Their kits are raised side by side, so oI don't think Flicka and Carmelo will be fighting any time soon."

Spiderpaw's head was spinning with the implications of Tubs's words. _If Carmelo already had a lot of Cane's cats and those from TalonClan, now that he has effective control over Amber's forces as well, he could easily overwhelm the Clans. We'd be terrible outnumbered if it came to a battle. _He swallowed. _These Colonies might just be his first step in taking over the forest. If he can position his forces up here, he'll prevent us from attacking him through the marsh like we were prepared to do when Lion attacked. Then he can attack us from the other side with more of his cats, leaving us forced to either fight him, or flee over the river…._

His heart sank as he realized that the Clans might truly be in trouble if his predictions were to come to pass. "What's this Colony for? Are there more of them?"

Tubs shrugged. "The explanation he gave to us was that they were to help with Twolegplace's overwhelming population. It can't hold more cats than it already has, but there's no real way for Carmelo to control that, so he decided to begin reaching outwards, finding unclaimed territory for his cats to live in. This marsh is one of those places. The lake near the pine forest is another. The Colonies are simple, really. He puts one cat in charge, and lets the commanding cat pick his second in command, like your Clans with your leaders and deputies. Then, each group gets one or two healer cats, cats that know enough about herbs to patch up a few wounds now and then. Each colony needs plenty of stronger cats to take care of it, and a few queens to make sure the Colony doesn't die off due to any sort of catastrophe. I think it's a pretty good plan, personally."

"Are those the only places he's wanting to set up Colonies in? Those that aren't already populated by any other cats?"

Tubs shrugged. "I can't say for sure where he's planning to go, to be honest. He knows more than I do. I know that he and Maggot still have some sort of agreement, and that white slime ball has been visiting him on occasion. If I had to guess, I'd say Carmelo will be helping him set up a Colony in his territory, where that band of rogues – led by two brothers, if I remember right? – used to live."

_Tremor and Rumble, _Spiderpaw remembered. _They and Maggot used to be fighting over the same territory…then Maggot allied himself with Lion and Carmelo, and Tremor and Rumble sided with us. When the dust settled, Tremor and Rumble were able to take TalonClan's old territory, and some of the less loyal TalonClan cats. I suppose that left their old territory wide open for Maggot, and he kept his old alliances strong. It sounds like things went well for him._

_None of this bodes well for the Clan. Carmelo's old alliances are strong, he has more cats than ever before, and worst or all he's proving to be ambitious. I hate to say it, but we might need to forget all about our strife with PeakClan. Without a solid alliance of our own, we won't survive for very long._

He sighed, pressing his nose against his paws. Tubs cocked his head to the side, blinking down at him. "What's the matter, little scrap? Did I say something wrong?"

Spiderpaw shook his head, not wanting to show any weakness in front of the rogue, however amiable he might appear. His green gaze flicked over the camp, sizing up the cats that were already awake; there weren't many of them. Most of them were probably still sleeping off the battle. One did catch his eye, however: it was the silver she-cat that he had attacked the day before, the one with kits. Faint.

He turned back to Tubs. "Am I allowed to talk to her?"

Tubs followed his line of sight. "Faint? I dunno. She's not much of a talker, really. Mostly just hangs around the queens den. Isn't she the one you took a swing at yesterday? I don't think Baron would approve."

"Baron's not here right now."

Tubs's whiskers twitched. "Sure enough, little scrap but he left Fern in charge, and although they do have their differing opinions I think they'd be on the same side for this question. Why would you want to, anyway? Like I said, she doesn't talk much."

"I was going to apologize for attacking her," Spiderpaw meowed. "Warriors don't attack queens, nor do we try to hurt kits. It's against our code. I didn't realize she was with kits, or I wouldn't have gone after her in the first place. And quit calling me that! I'm not all that little, and I bet I'm way faster than you. I could take your nose off before you knew what happened."

Tubs laughed again. "Right. That invaluable speed of yours sure helped you out when Baron captured you." His yellow eyes twinkled. "I guess you can talk to Faint, since Baron's in Twolegplace and Fern's who-knows-where. Just don't tell nobody, alright?"

Spiderpaw nodded more quickly than he had intended, betraying his impatience. Tubs rose to his paws with care, headed towards the silver she-cat. Spiderpaw's lip curled as he observed how Tubs waddled from side to side with each step.

_If only every one of Carmelo's cats was fat and useless like him, _he thought with a mental sneer. _He is tolerable, though, for a rogue...but I bet his laziness was driving Reedrush crazy. I wish I could have been there to see her yelling at him. _His eyes glowed at the thought, but his ears flattened as his thoughts turned to Sootpaw. _If she's with Reedrush, then she's in good paws…but what were they looking for, I wonder? If there was an herb in Twolegplace, it seems like the whole group would have ventured in…and if they were after some sort of intelligence on Carmelo, it wouldn't make any sense, since by the time they get back to us anything they've learned will be outdated anyway. _He shook his head, unable to figure out what would have been important enough for the two of them to head into Twolegplace alone.

He realized that his pace had slowed as he had gotten lost in his thoughts. He hurried forward to catch up with Tubs. Faint had already been eying the gray tom with suspicion, but when she saw Spiderpaw, she turned to dash back into the safety of her den.

"Hang on, Faint," Tubs meowed. "The little scr—er, the apprentice isn't going to hurt you. He just has something to say." He glanced back at Spiderpaw and flicked his tail, beckoning him forward. Faint's gaze flicked between the two of them, filled with uncertainty, but she didn't edge any closer to the den.

"Hey, Faint," Spiderpaw said. The fur on his shoulders ruffled as he felt Tubs staring at him. He looked to the gray tom again. "Mind waiting over there a little ways?"

Tubs frowned for a moment, as if mulling it over, then shrugged. "Alright, but I'll be watching. Don't try anything funny; you might be surprised how quickly I can move." He dipped his head to Faint with a quiet 'ma'am,' before waddling off a few paces and lying down.

Fear-scent was coming off of Faint in waves now, and she was beginning to scoot closer to the den once more. Spiderpaw held up his tail. "You don't have to be afraid, I'm not going to hurt you. I shouldn't have attacked you yesterday. I didn't realize you were with kits. Warriors don't fight queens and kits, it's against the warrior code, but I didn't see your belly was so large at the time…no offense."

Faint's eyes flicked to Tubs, then back to him, and she stopped edging away, although she seemed as tense as ever.

Spiderpaw wasn't sure what he was waiting for; it seemed foolish to expect Faint to say that it was okay, that he was forgiven for attacking her. Walking back to his den would be the sensible thing to do, but he was still itching with curiosity and worry about the rogues' plans for the Clans. He doubted Faint knew much, but there was still the matter of her age to be considered. Having kits at her age was obviously possible, but seemed unlikely. If she-cats were being abused in Twolegplace, and then being sent to live in the wild to supply a Colony with kits, the Clan would need to know. He knew neither Silverstar nor Eaglestrike would stand for anything like that. Amber had been the voice for she-cats in Twolegplace, but if she was dead now and Flicka had some strange deal with Carmelo, it was unlikely that they were being represented.

"Don't you think you're a little young to be out here?" he asked after a brief lull. "From what I've seen, you're one of the youngest cats here. Tubs said the Colony is mostly made up of strong cats that can take care of the Colony, with a few queens. Young cats wouldn't really fit into that mold, would they?"

Faint's ears flattened. "I'm the youngest in camp. The only reason I am here is because I'm a queen. The Colony needs queens who haven't yet kitted. Bringing young kits was deemed too dangerous a journey. Unborn kits are easier to carry."

Spiderpaw couldn't help staring at her stomach. It seemed impossibly large for her small frame. "Does Carmelo have a hard time finding queens?"

She shook her head. "No. There are plenty of queens that want a good life for their kits. But there are also plenty of Colonies waiting to be built. Many cats want to be a part of these colonies. They think they will be safe and have full bellies there. I thought the same…but as you said, I am too young and too small to be a good defender. The only way I would be able to come was as a queen."

Spiderpaw's ears pricked. "So you chose this for yourself? No one forced you?"

She shook her head again, more vigorously this time. "Carmelo wouldn't force us into anything like that, nor would Flicka allow it. She has been more lax than Amber, but she still has lines that cannot be crossed. I chose this. The father is a friend of mine; we were friends as kits, but we were separated because of Amber's rules against toms. His mother took him to live with Cane, where he would be treated better. He joined Carmelo's cats after Cane fell, and we met again. He agreed to help." Her eyes narrowed. "I will be as good a mother as any for my kits. I won't abandon them."

She looked surprisingly fierce for one so young, and she reached down to caress her belly with her tongue as she spoke. Spiderpaw was faintly unnerved. She was only a few moons older than Sootpaw, after all. He couldn't imagine his sister taking the same desperate actions for food or a warm nest. No, his sister had given up those things to be of service to her Clan. At the same time, he felt some amount of pity for Faint. Life in Twolegplace must have been terrible for her and so many others to want to give it up for a life in the mud and muck.

"Are you happy here, then?"

"I haven't been here for very long, only a quarter moon, but already I can say it is an improvement," she replied. "Here, I know I will have food to eat and a place to sleep. I won't be pushed out by other cats, or turned away. I know my kits will be taken care of even if something happens to me, and I know that when they come I will have healers to make things easier for me. Clan cats cannot imagine what life is like for us in Twolegplace…but Carmelo is making it better."

_All these cats seem to be in favor of him…but I guess that's to be expected, if they think he's taking care of them by giving them all this territory, _he mused. _I suppose no one really has claim to it, but it doesn't seem like he has the right to pass it out, either. I'm not sure what Eaglestrike will want to do about this. I don't think Silverstar will want to force them out, but he understands that we need this territory to get us through the leanest months. The marsh was the only way we managed to survive when the fire tore through the forest, or so he always says._

Faint still seemed uneasy, but not as much as she had before. Spiderpaw supposed that for once his small stature was a boon rather than a burden; it made him seem less threatening, more like the kits she was carrying. "Is their father here too?"

She shook her head. "Because the Colonies are so small, it's best if there are fewer whole families in them. He would probably have taken another mate and fathered kits with her, and then we would have two fathered by the same tom in the same Colony. I think he is going to be in a different Colony, the one by the lake. It's near enough that he can visit to see the kits now and then, if he wants to. We're not really mates, at least not in the traditional sense."

Spiderpaw made a noncommittal noise, not sure of what to say. His eyes flicked over the camp again, nothing that more cats were awake now. It wouldn't be wise, being seen talking to so many cats. He should duck back into his den and lie low again, just in case Fern or Baron returned.

_Where is Fern? _He wondered. _She's in charge while Baron's gone, so I suppose that makes her his second in command…she must be out patrolling again, probably sniffing near our border. _He let out a low growl at the thought, before looking back to Faint.

"Thanks for talking to me. Sorry again," he said quickly, before rising to his paws. Tubs heaved himself to his feet, and the two of them headed back to the prisoners den. Spiderpaw flopped back down in the entrance. Tubs watched him, then yawned.

"I'd really like a nap, but Fern would have my head," he said sleepily. Spiderpaw rolled his eyes.

"What am I going to do but lie around?" he asked. "It's not like I could escape with so many cats around."

"You could talk to other cats, like you did with Faint," Tubs said, his head drooping towards his paws and his eyes blinking slowly as if his eyelids were growing heavy. "trying to extract information out of them like you were with me."

Spiderpaw's ears pricked. "What? I wasn't trying to weasel anything out of you."

Tubs's eyes closed, and Spiderpaw watched him with suspicion, wondering if the gray tom knew what he had been up to the entire time, or if he was just guessing.

"It's okay," Tubs said in a voice that was already thick with sleep. "It's natural to be curious…normal to wonder who your new neighbors are, what they want…." Tubs's voice trailed off as he fell asleep. Spiderpaw watched him a moment longer, bemused – he had never seen a cat fall asleep so quickly – but finally decided that the fat tabby wasn't intending to play some sort of trick on him. He frowned and glanced away, looking for Faint again, only to find that the silver she-cat had slipped back into her den.

His gaze slid back to Tubs. _He sure did give me a lot of information – useful stuff – even though he claims he knew what I was up to. Was it because he knew Reedrush and Sootpaw, if only for a brief period of time? Does he have any misgivings about Carmelo's colonial plan? Or is he just the kind of cat that doesn't really see the need for secrets…?_

Somehow Tubs's blatant honesty was more confusing than other cats' mystique – Shimmerfrost and Leopardpaw came to mind.

_Who will Father send for the negotiations, I wonder? _He cocked his head to the side, thinking of Shimmerfrost once more. _She makes the most sense, I suppose…she's of a high rank, Silverstar trusts her, and she's relentlessly impartial. She cares nothing for me, which means her emotions wouldn't get in the way of making a decision that doesn't harm the Clan too badly…even if it means I might not be freed. _

He shuddered from nose to tail at the thought of allowing his life to rest in her icy paws. He didn't think Baron would kill him – or, at least he wouldn't _want _to – but he couldn't stand the thought of being separated from his Clan any longer. Already it felt like his chest was aching at the mere thought of his camp; he wanted to rush through the Black Stream, to look up and see entwined tree branches above his head, to curl up in his mossy nest and awake to find his Clanmates beside him. He missed his mother's soft fur and his father's firm eyes and Blackfeather's gentle voice, how she was always there when he needed someone to talk to, how she turned to him for reassurance and guidance….

He shook his head, ruffling his fur as if to brush off a bad omen. It was strange to think of anyone in such a manner, even Blackfeather. She was a good friend, and he was glad that he had helped her become a warrior, but anything beyond that was too unfamiliar for him to wrap his mind around.

The sound of parting reeds made him look up, and he found Fern had found her way back to camp, stepping through the mud with delicate precision. He couldn't read her expression; it was carefully hidden behind a wall of disinterest, but her eyes gleamed when she spotted him, and he thought her ears lowered a notch.

"You three!" she barked, moving her sharp eyes from him to three rogues who had been chatting off to the side. "Go and hunt. Take care not to stray too far over the border. The forest cats are testy and looking for another fight."

The three rogues went rigid, and seemed a little frightened by the idea of venturing anywhere near the forest, but they didn't dare question Fern's authority. The three of them slunk off, their bellies nearly brushing the clinging mud, and disappeared into the swaying reeds.

"Tubs!"

The gray tom jolted awake as Fern yowled his name. He blinked at her blearily, rubbing his nose with one paw. She strode towards him, a frown on her pretty face.

"What have we told you about sleeping on the job?" she demanded, pushing his shoulder with one paw. "Honestly, I don't know why Carmelo thought it was a good idea to send you out here. Get up, you big lummox. Keep your eyes on the prisoner."

"He was only asleep for a few minutes, and I'm not going anywhere," Spiderpaw growled, irked by her treatment of the plump tom.

Fern glanced at him. "Would you defend a fellow warrior who fell asleep while guarding an important prisoner?"

"AshClan wouldn't take prisoners like you do. We don't need sneaky tricks to win our battles," he retorted. To his surprise, Fern laughed.

"Really now? That's cute. Do you honestly think your father wouldn't snap up a rogue if it meant Baron and the rest of this Colony would be forced to leave the marsh? Your naivety is adorable." She flicked her tail against his muzzle, and he pulled away.

"Of course he wouldn't," he growled, but inwardly he was feeling doubtful. Ravenwing had always said Eaglestrike was an honorable cat, but what about when AshClan was trying to assert their stake in the forest, and had tricked PeakClan into surrendering it? He had used darkness to disguise their numbers, enough to make the proud PeakClan cats feel uneasy and vulnerable...and that had been with warriors. Fern and the others were only rogues, as she seemed to enjoy reminding him. There was nothing in the warrior code that said common rogues couldn't be taken prisoner.

Fern's eyes glimmered with amusement, and he bristled in irritation. Hoping to distract her, he said,

"Does that mean you're going to use me to drive AshClan out of the forest?"

Fern's whiskers twitched. "No. Our Colony has no interest in your territory. We're content with the marsh. Your territory makes for some easy hunting, sure, and it's pretty enough to earn a stroll now and then, but keeping up with it would be tedious, not to mention that the marsh is a more…private place to get our footing. No, this Colony isn't interested in your forest, at least not the bulk of it…perhaps some of the territory around that dark stream near the Thunderpath would be nice, though. Of course, I can't claim to know what Carmelo has in mind. He might plan on taking your forest for another Colony, who knows?"

Spiderpaw's jaw clenched. The idea that he would be used as a bargaining chip to take away AshClan's territory – the same territory that they had fought for, had _died _for – disgusted him. _I have to do whatever I can to ensure that doesn't happen,_ he vowed. _I won't be responsible for taking prey out of the mouths of my Clanmates._

Fern's whiskers twitched. "You seem a bit testy. Peckish, even. Isn't that a lovely word? Peckish. Anyway, have you eaten?"

He shook his head, and she laughed again. "That explains your crabby mood. Well, we'll fix that when those three get back. You can have the first pick." She rose to her paws, and cocked her head to the side. "Anything else you need? I have some time before Baron gets back."

Spiderpaw's ears flattened, and he flushed despite himself. "Well, I'm a little, er…thirsty. And, uh…you know."

Fern blinked. "Oh, right. We haven't let you out since we got you, huh? You must be full to bursting. Well…." She glanced at Tubs, but the gray tom was already nodding off again. She sighed. "I'll just show you the spot myself, then. By the time we get back those three should have returned, and hopefully Baron will be back too. Come on, then."

She flicked her tail and headed for the entrance of their camp, where the reeds were flattened. He followed her, his every instinct urging him to bolt as soon as they were out of earshot of the rest of the cats. She seemed to know his exact thoughts, for she glanced at him over her shoulder as they walked.

"I know the marsh pretty well by now, unlike you," she meowed. "You look like you're pretty fast, but I'm certain I'm faster."

He curled his lip at the underlying threat, but chose to say nothing. Fern wove her way through the territory as if she knew each pawstep; it wasn't hard, considering that a path had been beating through the mud and slime, tread upon by dozens of cats bent on doing their business.

She halted in front of a large clump of grass, and motioned for him to go forward.

"You wouldn't believe how hard a place like this was to find," she meowed. "Honestly, it's like all the water is connected, so if you take a leak in one place it's almost certainly going to end up in the water…but the land's low here and surrounded by grass, so I reckon it's as good a place as any. Go on, then. I'll be waiting here." She sat down. "Try to slip away and you'll regret it. I've got good ears."

He rolled his eyes, but pushed his way through the grass. The earth dipped down beneath his paws, ending in a large patch of mud that didn't have any trace of grass or other foliage growing on it. Turning around, he saw that he was surrounded by more tall grass perched atop tussocks of earth. He shrugged to himself, and lifted his tail.

He considered running away, but decided that Fern probably was telling the truth, and he didn't have any idea which way to go anyway. The reeds and grass seemed to swallow up any outside sounds, and he didn't know which direction to head in. Usually the Thunderpath would be a good guide, but he couldn't see it over the reeds and couldn't hear it through the thick grass and muck, not to mention the other sounds of birds, frogs, and other strange creatures that lurked in the murky depths of the water.

He returned to Fern after finishing, and she gave him a little nod before leading him back down the winding path to camp. When they entered, Spiderpaw noticed that the three rogues from before had returned with prey filling their jaws. They laid it all out on the ground in a little row, with almost reverent gentleness. As if on cue, another figure parted the reeds with his coat of black and white. Fern's ears pricked, and without another glance at Spiderpaw she trotted towards Baron.

The black-and-white tom looked tired; his yellow eyes seemed glassy, and he gave a huge yawned that seemed to shake his entire body. He arched his back before padding towards the laid-out fresh-kill, grabbing a frog, and padding into his den without a single word to anyone. Fern looked irritated and trailed him, her tabby tail disappearing into his den as well.

Spiderpaw looked to Tubs, but the gray tom was fast asleep. He twisted around, but saw that none of the other rogues seemed too interested in him. They were all focused on the food, glancing at one another and shuffling their paws, waiting to see who would take prey first. Spiderpaw guessed that the rules were rigid when it came to feeding; if Baron hadn't laid down the law, Fern certainly had.

_She did say I could eat first, _he remembered, and without showing any fear he moved towards the prey. His gaze flitted over each piece, and he wrinkled his nose seeing that their food mostly consisted of slimy prey like toads and even salamanders. The thought of eating amphibians made his stomach clench, so he settled for some sort of black bird instead. He considered grabbing something for Tubs as well, then decided against it; the fat tom could probably live off of his own stomach for a good two moons at least.

As soon as Spiderpaw backed away, the rest of the rogues lunged forward, pushing each other out of the way and grappling for each piece of prey. Spiderpaw narrowly avoided being bowled over by a large she-cat, and he took advantage of the fray to edge closer to Baron's den. He could hear Baron and Fern speaking within, but their voices were faint.

"Well? What did Carmelo…." He pricked his ears, straining to hear Fern's voice.

Baron murmured something inaudible. Fern's reply was sharp and loud.

"What? You can't be serious!"

Baron continued to mumble, and Fern let out an angry hiss. She began to growl something, but Spiderpaw could only pick up scraps of the conversation

"That's mouse-brained! To think we would…no, it doesn't make any sense! How do we know he…yes, I understand that, but…the biggest asset we have right now, and I don't think we should just…and how do we know we can trust…I know she's been out a long time, but we can't…well, you should have told him no! You should have said he was being pigeon-stupid! Honestly, how could he think this was a good…."

"Carmelo knows what he's doing." Baron's voice was louder now, but he sounded sullen. "We've got to trust him."

"We aren't trusting him, we're trusting _her,_ and I don't like it one bit," Fern hissed. "He hasn't been in touch with her and we don't know…true enough she hasn't disobeyed, but she isn't doing what she ought, and I for one…oh, bah! You're just too scared to say anything. Afraid he'll take your pretty little position away. _I'm _the one who does all the work. Hear those morons out there? They're probably taking each other apart. _I _was the one who had to make up the rules as we went. You were no help and…."

It sounded like they had turned away from any decision-making and were simply quarreling now, so Spiderpaw began to edge away as quietly as he could, moving back to the sleeping Tubs.

_Interesting, but not helpful, _he thought. _It sounds like Carmelo has made some sort of decision for me…I have no idea whether or not it's anything good, though. _He sighed. _At least my suspicions about Fern and Baron's partnership is correct. She doesn't seem like a bad cat, but she certainly doesn't hold him in any high esteem. I haven't seen much of him so far, but he doesn't seem like a good leader. Fern seems to have things well in paw, though, when she's not distracted by stuff like this._

He watched the rogues mild amusement; most of the prey was gone now, but a few of the younger cats were nipping at each other over scraps. Spiderpaw yawned, then began plucking the feathers of the little black bird off. There wasn't much meat underneath, but considering his possible impending doom, he wasn't all that hungry.

Movement flickered in the corner of his eye, and he turned to find Baron exiting his den, followed closely by Fern. Baron seemed to hesitate, and gave Fern an almost imploring look, but she only huffed and looked away from him, stalking between two of the younger cats and breaking up their squabble.

Baron sighed, then left the camp, his shoulders slumping slightly. Fern ignored him, growling down at a thin tabby tom, probably chiding him about his rude manners. Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched with amusement as he began to eat. He had to admit he would have enjoyed seeing Fern as a warrior. She had the fiery spirit of a good deputy, and seemed loyal to the group even if she didn't agree with her leader. It was smart of Baron to choose someone who didn't have his flaws, even though Spiderpaw suspected a more selfish motive – to get in Fern's good graces. Fern was certainly pretty, and Baron looked like the kind of tom that would be taken by her.

Spiderpaw wondered where the black-and-white tom was going – was it part of Carmelo's instructions, or was he conducting his own interests? – but put the thoughts out of his mind. There was no way for him to know, not yet, and he was beginning to drive himself a bit mad by trying to puzzle everything out.

He ate about half the bird before his appetite waned completely. He nudged the remains of the bird towards Tubs for when the gray tom awoke, then stared ahead of himself, watching Fern without really taking in what she was doing. He allowed his mind to wander back to the Clan, and let out a low sigh.

Something tickled his paw, and he realized that he had been playing with one of the bird's dark feathers without realizing it. He stared down at the black feather and felt an odd pang. He rested his muzzle on his paws, feeling rather alone despite the bustle of the camp, and closed his eyes. He wasn't really tired, but passing the time by sleeping would be better than waiting for nightfall on pins and needles. He hesitated, then tucked the feather underneath his paw and drew it close to his muzzle. As he took in a deep breath, he thought he could barely make out the scent of that first bird, the first to sing in the morning, the one that the black she-cat had been so proud of.

. . .

He opened his eyes once to feel Tubs's strong jaws around his scruff as the gray tom carried him into the prisoner's den. Spiderpaw pretended to still be sleeping, and was surprised by the gentleness with which Tubs laid him down. He was equally surprised to find something soft underneath of his body; it wasn't moss, but a grass nest was better than none at all. He kept his eyes closed and resisted the urge to murmur a quiet thanks as Tubs left the den. He heard the large tom settle himself down again, felt the shining moonlight caress his fur, before slipping back into sleep.

It was some time later that he awoke again. His eyes snapped open, and for a moment he just stared at the den wall, wondering why he had woken up at all. It took a moment for his foggy mind to piece it together: somewhere in his dream, there had been a hiss and a thud…but he had felt that it wasn't part of the den. Something was actually happening in camp.

He rose to his paws shakily and crept towards the entrance, being careful and quiet. He crouched in the entrance of the den, his gaze flitted over the moonlight-bathed camp, but could see nothing suspicious.

A paw suddenly tapped his ear, and he spun around to find twinkling gold eyes staring at him. He opened his mouth to yowl, only to suck in a deep breath as he realized the golden eyes were very familiar, as was the black fur that surrounded them.

Blackfeather smiled, then flicked her tail to her muzzle, signaling for him to be silent. Turning, he could see Tubs was asleep – slumbering peacefully – and that one of the rogues that was supposed to be guarding the camp was lying on his side. Spiderpaw was willing to guess that was what had resulted in the hiss and ensuing thump.

'What's happening?' he mouthed, but Blackfeather merely smiled and shook her head. Signaling for him to follow, she began to creep towards the entrance as stealthily as any shadow. Spiderpaw trailed her, trying to be as silent as possible, but each pawstep sounded like a thunderclap in his ears.

He craned his neck around, looking for more fallen shapes. There were several of them, scattered all around the edges of camp: more night-guards. He frowned to himself; Blackfeather couldn't possibly have done all herself without being noticed, and how had she even found her way to camp? The marsh looked very different in the moonlight, when it wasn't lit up with green and brown and streaks of golden grass.

He received his answer in the form of shining eyes as they exited the rogue camp together. It took him a moment to place them: Robinpaw, Blizzardpaw, Leopardpaw, even Fireblaze, they were all here. He stared at them, agape, until Blackfeather nudged his shoulder.

"Not even going to say anything to your amazing rescuers?" she purred, her golden eyes glinting.

"I just…don't understand. Why are you here? How?"

"It was Leopardpaw's idea," Fireblaze said with a nod in the dappled she-cat's direction. She ignored him, as cool as ever. "She woke me up an hour ago, said we had to come and get you before the rogues tried to bargain with the Clan. Said there was no way Shimmerfrost – she was appointed the negotiator – would make any sort of deal in exchange for you."

Spiderpaw stared at Leopardpaw with disbelief. She shrugged.

"When I was a rogue, I roamed over the marsh as well as forest," she said. "It's one of the reasons you all couldn't catch me. I know it fairly well. It wasn't hard to find their camp, since I'd already seen it in the daylight. I just needed more cats to take out the guards, or fight if we didn't pull it off as well as I'd like."

Spiderpaw looked to Fireblaze again, still feeling confused, and the ginger tom frowned.

"Did you really think we'd leave you in the lurch like that?" he asked. "You should know well enough that I'm not the type to leave a Clanmate behind. Eaglestrike was afraid that a rescue attempt would end up getting you hurt, but Leopardpaw's idea was solid."

"A 'thank you' wouldn't be too much trouble, would it?" Robinpaw asked, although she was smiling.

Spiderpaw blinked as if coming out of a daze, and allowed a smile to creep over his muzzle. "Thank you, honestly. I'm sorry, it's just so hard to believe that you all would…." He swallowed, unable to speak due to the growing lump in his throat. Blackfeather nuzzled his shoulder, and her scent threatened to overwhelm him.

"Come on, we need to hurry back before the rogues wake up," she mewed.

Fireblaze chuckled. "It'll be a few hours before that happened. We knocked them pretty hard."

Blackfeather laughed with him, before nudging Spiderpaw along. "Just follow Leopardpaw. She knows the way."

Leopardpaw turned and sprang into the shadows, and the others followed suit. He struggled to keep her in sight. She knew the territory well, that much was obvious; she avoided each dip in the mud, every hidden puzzle, just as easily as she would have in the daylight. Her golden pelt was bleached by the moonlight, but still seemed to shimmer, and Fireblaze's keen eyes seemed to be locked on her. Spiderpaw smiled to himself – Fireblaze was actually fairly forgiving, so long as you proved yourself to him.

_It looks like Leopardpaw won't be alone anymore, at least, _he thought, watching how Blizzardpaw and Robinpaw followed her as loyally as they would any cat. He marveled at how the ginger she-cat was able to keep up, even with her limp; he had been right in saying that she was strong despite her handicap. Blizzardpaw appeared to know it as well, for he didn't try to slow his own pace to accommodate her as he had before, or turn to check on her, as if she needed help.

Blackfeather kept in step beside him, like his own shadow, and he felt that strange longing again. It was preposterous, for she was right here next to him, but even that knowledge couldn't make the feeling go away, or stop him from wanting to press his pelt against hers for the rest of the journey home.

He resisted the urge until they had slipped through the Thunderpath tunnel and crossed the Black Stream. By that time he was exhausted by the entire ordeal, by all the stress and fear and surprise. He stumbled, and Blackfeather was there to catch him, propping him up and slowing her pace to match his.

By the time they entered camp he was half-asleep again, his muzzle resting against her shoulder. Blackfeather murmured something about Fireblaze going to tell Eaglestrike what had happened, before she led him into the apprentice den. He curled up on his moss nest – it felt like a nest made of the softest feathers to his weary bones – with a quiet sigh, and to his surprise, Blackfeather curled around him. He was too tired to protest, to point out how hard she had trained and fought to make sure that she never had to sleep in the apprentice den again.

The last thing he saw before drifting off again were her golden eyes, and the last thing he felt was her nose pressed against his ear.

**AN: We didn't hear much about Maggot in Shattered, now did we? He featured in one or two chapters, but was fairly minor overall. Perhaps now the poor ugly dude will get some screentime. :p**

**Also, what's up with Word not realizing peckish is a perfectly acceptable word? Delightful, even? How can Word live on in such ignorance?**

**WHO UPDATED ON TIME? IT WAS ME! :DDDD**


	43. C h a p t e r 42

**C **_**h a p t e r **_**42**

_She opened her eyes to find that she was surrounded by familiar cats. The setting, however, was strange. The river was nowhere to be seen, and a large Twolegplace rose up in front of them, much bigger than the one near AshClan's forest. She frowned to herself, puzzled why the journeying cats would want to go into such a dangerous place. Had they given up their mission, or was this part of it? It didn't seem likely that SkyClan would have entered Twolegplace, but then again she knew nothing about their ways or habits, or how these Clans were different from those she was familiar with._

_Fogheart was in the front, as usual, but he seemed thinner than before, more haggard. All of the cats appeared this way, although the apprentices had obviously been hit the hardest. Most of them had easily visible ribs straining against their patchy fur, and their eyes were dull with fatigue. Her heart fluttered with sympathy for them, mixed with fear; who was to say that the cats she was traveling with herself wouldn't turn out the same way? Who was to say that their mission wasn't going to prove just as fruitless as Fogheart's? Yes, they had found one ingredient so far – the foxglove seeds – but there were still more to be found, and it was impossible to say how far away they were._

_She shook herself, trying to focus on the dream itself. She hadn't had two of the dream so close together before, so whatever was going to happen was obviously important, and she needed to stay sharp. This time she had Bluepaw on her side, and perhaps they would be able to avoid whatever disaster was coming their way._

_She could only say one thing for certain, as the dull gray spires of the Twolegplace rose before them: it was not going to be good._

_Fogheart came to a stop, and turned towards the others._

"_As you know, we need to ask around to see if SkyClan has passed through this area," he meowed._

_WindClan and ThunderClan were nodding, but RiverClan and ShadowClan warriors murmured to one another, shooting dubious glances in the silver tom's direction. Amberfur let out a low hiss, and took a step forward. She had obviously lost weight; her fur seemed to sag over her thin body like a wet rag._

"_What's the point?" she spat. "SkyClan isn't here. They were never here. We missed them, somewhere along the way, and yet we continue as fools."_

"_This is our mission," Fogheart said. "What other choice do we have? There could still be hope. Some loners we spoke with did mention strange cats—"_

"_Any cat that a loner doesn't know is a 'strange cat,'" Oakclaw growled. "They're all paranoid and suspicious of newcomers. They'll probably refer to us as such, now that we're gone. We should have turned back moons ago."_

"_It's too late now," said Whitecloud. She seemed to be the most fit of them all, but WindClan cats were used to hunger. "We have no choice but to move forward and keep our faith in StarClan strong." Her gaze flicked to Cloudpaw as she spoke, and Sootpaw shivered as she remembered the white apprentice's warning of danger._

"_You can stay behind if you would prefer it," Fogheart said. "You all volunteered to go on this journey, so I can't force you to do things you don't want to. You could even try to return home and see if your leaders will accept you back. I can't stop you, and I won't try to. Do what you feel is right."_

_Oakclaw and Amberfur exchanged glances, and the calico's ears flattened, but she said nothing more._

_Fogheart nodded, before looking to Whitecloud. "I think we should split up; we're more likely to find information that way. WindClan can go with RiverClan, and ThunderClan with ShadowClan."_

_Whitecloud seemed a little nervous, but didn't object. The others murmured their agreement._

_The dream shifted then, and it seemed like everything was moving quickly, fasting forward to the moment wherein the group split apart. Sootpaw saw Fogheart whisper something in Whitecloud's ear before the gathering of cats divided, one heading left and one right, disappearing into the tangled mess of the city._

_Sootpaw was tugged along for the ride as if by an invisible force, and to her surprise she found herself with Whitecloud's group, rather than Fogheart's. She kept her eyes on Cloudpaw, wondering if the white apprentice was going to go into another trance, and from the way the WindClan apprentices stared at her, they were obviously nervous about the possibility as well._

_Sootpaw glanced up at the sky and watched with amazement as the sun streaked over the blue surface, clouds whipping by almost instantaneously, as if jerked by a silken string. The pull of the Clan cats tugged her throughout the city, as the warriors spoke with every kittypet, rogue, and loner they could find, asking about SkyClan. From what she could tell, no one had any useful information. The Clan cats weren't surprised or disappointed; they seemed resigned to the fact that their mission would end in failure._

_The sun dipped towards the horizon, and time began to slow down, until it finally reached a normal pace, which felt to her like a crawl now. The Clan cats wove their way down the city streets, looking weary and dejected._

_Much like the Twolegplace near AshClan's territory, it seemed that the various paths of the Twolegplace all converged into one road heading to the north of the city. The Thunderpath was huge, split in half by some sort of strange white barrier. It would be impossible to cross, and the Clan cats would need to cross to reach ThunderClan and ShadowClan's side._

_The group backtracked, hoping to find somewhere quieter, but the entire city was abuzz with monsters. The only way they would get across safely would be to backtrack to where they had first crossed over earlier that day – the road into the Twolegplace had arched into the air somehow, supported by immense columns, allowing them to slip underneath the rushing traffic – but it was too far away now, and ThunderClan and ShadowClan would be waiting for them._

_Whitecloud led them back to an odd place, where there were four Thunderpaths that met in a large square. The monsters somehow knew when to wait to allow the opposite side to pass, so there were no collisions; Sootpaw wondered if they had some silent communication, like how bats were able to see their surroundings despite being nearly blind. No matter how they did it, it meant that for a few precious minutes it was possible to cross right under the monsters' noses to the other side._

_Whitecloud still seemed indecisive, however, as she paused in front of the white stripes that seemed to mark the safe path. She seemed afraid that as soon as they set paw on the sticky Thunderpath that the monsters would charge forward, and Sootpaw didn't blame her. The thought of crossing such a wide, dangerous strip of black tar made her stomach clench. The other Clan cats were obviously anxious as well. They kept shifting their weight from paw to paw and giving each other nervous glances._

"_Let's go back," Amberfur said. "It's too dangerous to cross here."_

"_We don't have a choice. The others are waiting for us, and it will take hours to get back to where we can cross," Whitecloud said. "Besides, it seems safe…the Twolegs are crossing without any fear."_

"_The Twolegs can control the monsters. We cannot," Amberfur growled, her ears flattening against her head. "RiverClan learned its lesson. We can't cross what we can't control."_

_Whitecloud recoiled as if Amberfur had struck her, and Sootpaw remembered that the white warrior had been the one to charge after Nightpaw, trying to rescue her before she went over the falls. _

_The white she-cat's eyes glinted with determination. "We're not losing anyone, understand? I promise you that, Amberfur. Everyone will cross just fine." She turned back to the Thunderpath. "We'll wait for them to come to a complete stop, allowing for the most time for us to reach the other side. I'll be last, to make sure everyone gets over."_

"_Afraid to go first?" Amberfur growled, her eyes fixed on the rushing monsters. Whitecloud didn't respond, and the two of them stared into the sea of monsters without a word, waiting for them to slow._

_Then, with an almost simultaneous groan, the monsters slowed, their black paws rolling slower and slower over the sticky ground until they came to a stop. It was almost uncanny, the way they were nearly all in a perfect row, but Sootpaw didn't have time to observe the strangeness of it all. Amberfur was already rushing across, streaking over the pavement, with the others flying behind her as if they had wings on their paws. Whitecloud was last, as she had promised._

_Sootpaw was tugged along behind them by the invisible string, and her pelt crawled with anxiety. Something was going to go wrong. She could feel it._

_Then, without warning, one of the monsters let out a loud, abrasive sound, almost like the honk of a goose, but far louder. Several cats sprang into the air, startled, narrowly avoiding landing on their Clanmates. For one terrible moment, the crossing dissolved into a churning, confused mass._

"_Come on!" Amberfur yowled, having reached the other side. "This way! The monsters still aren't moving, don't run back! This way!"_

_Most of the cats raced in her direction, but one, a ginger tom that Sootpaw recognized as being the other WindClan warrior, seemed confused. He was frozen in place, staring up at the monsters with horror and fear as if they were about to leap at him._

"_Move!" Whitecloud exclaimed, giving him a rough shove with her paws. He stumbled forwards a few paces, but still seemed confused. Whitecloud gave him another push, and he finally seemed to wake up._

_As if on cue, the monsters began to growl, a growl that quickly rose in volume. Sootpaw's heart clenched with fright as the monsters began moving forward, taking no notice of the cats in their paths, assuming that the warriors would move._

_The ginger tom had frozen up again, staring at the monsters, which were building up speed. Then, he swayed on his paws, and fainted._

_Whitecloud sprang into action. She grabbed him by the scruff, and began dragging him forwards; Amberfur stepped forward to help, but Whitecloud waved her away with her tail, warning her to stay back._

_The strain on Whitecloud's neck and shoulders was obvious, and when she was only a quarter of the distance away from the other side, she stopped, panting, before turning to face the monsters. It was obvious that she couldn't reach the other side in time, even if she ran. She stared into the headlights, crouched over the ginger tom's body, and braced herself._

_Sootpaw had to look away as the monster rushed over Whitecloud. Both warriors disappeared from sight as monster over monster hurried over the Thunderpath, taking no heed of the cats they were leaving behind. The sound of their rough paws rubbing against the sticky tar grated on Sootpaw's ears, drowning out every other sensation._

_She opened her eyes when the sounds were quiet again, and found Whitecloud was lying some distance away from the ginger tom now. Her white fur was matted with blood. Somehow the ginger tom was unscathed, although he remained motionless._

_Amberfur and the others rushed forward, crowding around the fallen warriors. Sootpaw saw Whitecloud give a feeble twitch, and after a moment the ginger tom raised his head. Then, they were lost to Sootpaw's sight, surrounded by the frantic warriors and apprentices._

_Only one cat had remained motionless. Sootpaw's gaze flicked up to Cloudpaw, who was still standing on the path that ran along the Thunderpath, watching the Clan cats huddle around the two downed warriors. Her blue eyes were emotionless as she stared at the results of her prophecy._

Sootpaw's eyes snapped open, and she found herself staring into a blue-gray mass. The mass shifted with a sigh, and Sootpaw realized it was only Bluepaw. She had been half-expecting a monster staring her down.

She sat up and stretched, spreading her paws over the flattened grass. She shivered, her breath puffing in front of her face. They hadn't been able to find a very sheltered place to make camp, and a light coating of frost covered her fur.

Bluepaw twitched, then opened her eyes. "What are you doing? You look worried."

Sootpaw turned towards her, her ears flattened against her head. "I had another dream."

Bluepaw's own ears pricked with interest. "Well? Spill! No one else is awake yet."

Sootpaw gave a dubious glance over her shoulder to make sure no one else was really awake, before communicating the dream to Bluepaw in a hushed whisper.

"Do you think Whitecloud and that tom are okay?" Bluepaw asked with a note of anxiety when she finished.

"I don't think the ginger tom was hurt, but Whitecloud was," Sootpaw mewed. "I don't know how badly…but either way, I'm afraid a cat might die."

The blue-gray apprentice frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well…." Sootpaw shuffled her paws. "First there was the ShadowClan apprentice that died. Jaypaw got sick, but he didn't die, or at least I pray he hasn't. Then Nightpaw drowned, but Swanpaw survived. Then Amberfur was nearly attacked by adders, and Rainwind died. It seems like when a cat survives in my dream, another dies in their place on our journey…or the other way around." Her stomach fluttered with anxiety. "Does that even make sense?"

Bluepaw was nodding. "I hadn't thought of it that way before, but it does seem like a pattern…we won't really know until you dream of them again, though, will we?"

"But what does it mean?" she pressed. "Are we going to have to cross the Thunderpath? Is someone going to get hit by a monster? Is the Thunderpath the 'tracks' that StarClan mentioned in the prophecy?"

Bluepaw's ears flattened. "I'm sorry, Sootpaw, but I'm not sure. StarClan didn't tell me much. They did show me some images while they were giving me the prophecy, but they were all so brief…I don't think we could cross the Thunderpath even if we wanted to, though, it's too fast, and StarClan would have mentioned it somewhere along the way. The tracks must be something else. Don't worry, though, okay? I'm sure we'll find it, and now we're prepared to look out for monsters. Everything will be fine."

Sootpaw took in a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I suppose you're right. We can't do anything but wait, anyway. I just hope we get moving again pretty soon. Waiting here is nerve-wracking."

Bluepaw pressed her pelt against Sootpaw's gray fur. "We should do something else, then, to keep your mind occupied. Want to go hunting? We can wake up Sage and Brackenpaw with some yummy breakfast! And maybe we can scout ahead a bit, too."

She nodded. "That's probably a good idea…I'm really hungry."

Bluepaw grinned and pranced away, her tail held up high like a flag. Sootpaw rolled her eyes, amused at how quickly Bluepaw could turn away from the disturbing news of her friend's dreams, before following the medicine apprentice.

She was surprised how quickly Bluepaw was moving; she wasn't doing the customary stop-and-scent moves of most apprentices when they were hunting. Sootpaw thought she caught a whiff of squirrel on the breeze, but the blue-gray apprentice didn't seem to notice.

_I suppose she's really more interested in exploring than feeding herself, _Sootpaw thought, twitching her whiskers with amusement.

She turned her head, looking down into the gorge through which the Thunderpath ran. To her surprise, the path split, with a smaller Thunderpath going off to the side. The smaller Thunderpath was curved in a half-moon shape, from what she could tell from her high vantage point. She could make out some sort of Twoleg den running right next to the Thunderpath. It almost seemed like a place for the monsters to stop and catch their breaths; several of them were lined up together near the edge of the Thunderpath, where it widened into a square before continuing on its way. Sootpaw guessed it eventually linked back up with the main Thunderpath.

_Something else for us to avoid, I guess, _she thought, only to find that Bluepaw had increased her pace. The ground sloped down before them, until the top of the gorge and the Thunderpath were about even. Bluepaw charged down the slope, skidding through the thick grass. Sootpaw followed her as quickly as she could, wondering what the medicine apprentice's hurry was.

Bluepaw didn't stop until they were dangerously close to where the monsters were resting. Sootpaw eyed them with distrust as she finally caught up to the medicine apprentice, remembering her dream and how the seemingly stationary monsters had charged towards Whitecloud and the ginger tom.

"What are you looking for?" she asked, frowning at her friend. Bluepaw didn't seem to notice; her gaze was flitting over the Twoleg den – a rather unimpressive place, with dingy gray walls and a sagging roof. The entire place stunk of monsters and Twoleg food. Trash was strewn over the sticky Thunderpath surface; empty wrappers skidded over the black surface, whipe thin papers rustled in the breeze.

"Just got a feeling," Bluepaw mumbled, looking away from the Twoleg den. She peered to where the thick grass gave way to more woods, before trotting in the direction of the trees. Sootpaw gave an inward sigh, wondering what she was up to, before following.

"Look," Bluepaw murmured. "There's a clearing in the forest, here. Let's see where it goes."

Sootpaw trailed after her, feeling uneasy. Her pelt prickled as if it was crawling with ants, and every twig or leaf that crackled under her paws conjured images of huge monsters bearing down on them, with their demonic eyes aglow and their silver fangs bared.

Luckily, there were few twigs or leaves under their paws at all. The path was perfect, almost _too _perfect; it was completely straight, with well-defined edges. The ground had been cleared so that only smooth earth remained. There were no stones sticking out of the ground, that she could see.

Bluepaw stopped suddenly, and Sootpaw peered around her to see what had caught the medicine apprentice's eye. She blinked at the sight before them, wondering what it was they were staring at.

It appeared to be a miniature Thunderpath spreading out before them. The beaten trail that they had been following was perfectly perpendicular to this new trail. Sootpaw turned her head to the left, then the right, seeing how quickly the Thunderpath faded from her immediate sight because of the trees.

"What is it?" she asked. "Some sort of Thunderpath for monster kits…?"

_When you have the sun at your backs…turn and follow the Twoleg tracks,_" Bluepaw whispered.

. . .

"Are you sure?" Thistlethorn demanded, his tail lashing from side to side. "Another Thunderpath?"

"This one's a lot smaller, and narrower," Bluepaw mewed. "No monster could get on it if it tried…and I've never heard of a monster having kits, have you?"

"It does sound like it's the right way to go," Reedrush said with a thoughtful frown. "But what about the first part, about the sun…?"

"Well, because we're heading west, with the Thunderpath, and the sun rises in the east and it's still pretty early outside, so I think it makes sense," Bluepaw said. Reedrush's brow furrowed further.

"But what if we had discovered the tracks in the afternoon, or sunhigh, or simply not at all?" she asked. "We might have never known they were even there."

"StarClan sent me some images too, along with the prophecy," Bluepaw said. "I could kind of already see part of the path in my mind, so I knew it was there. We wouldn't have missed it."

"But the time…." Reedrush sighed and shook her head. "Whatever. The path is going the same way as the Thunderpath anyway, and I suppose it will be safer…walking alongside the gorge makes me nervous." She looked to Thistlethorn and Rabbitleap, who had been quiet throughout the discussion. "Are you two okay with this?"

"I guess we don't have much of a choice, if StarClan is just jerking us around wherever they want," Thistlethorn growled, before looking down at Bluepaw. "What exactly are we looking for? How close are we to the next herb?"

"Very close, I think," Bluepaw said, fidgeting nervously. "_On the tracks devoid of dew, you will find a sea of blue._"

"Sea of blue," Reedrush murmured. "Well, the tracks are obviously what you found. Thunderpaths don't seem to collect dew like leaves or grass…could the sea of blue be real water, or something else, like a flower? Perhaps birds?"

"We won't know until we find it," Thistlethorn growled. "We might as well get moving."

Rabbitleap's eyes widened. "But we haven't eaten yet! We can't go off adventuring if we haven't eaten, can we?" She blinked between the two AshClan warriors, looking anxious.

Thistlethorn looked down disdainfully at her belly. "Looks like you're getting enough to eat to me. Besides, they said they didn't smell much prey around here. It would be best if we investigated these tracks now, rather than later."

Reedrush nodded in agreement, although she seemed sympathetic towards the PeakClan warrior. "We'll stop for food before sunhigh."

Rabbitleap sighed, with a dramatic roll of her blue-green eyes. "Okay. I'll go tell the others, then, and get them all up and moving."

The stubby-tailed warrior trotted away towards the apprentices, several of whom were still sleeping. Sootpaw watched her nuzzle Swanpaw awake, before bouncing towards Rook like a demented fairy godmother.

Reedrush and Thistlethorn waited long enough for the other apprentices to rub the sleep out of their eyes, before they began heading in the direction of the tracks. Sootpaw and Bluepaw waited for Sage, before they began to follow.

"Good morning," Sage said, dipping his head to both Sootpaw and Bluepaw as he caught up to them. "What is it that you two have found?"

Bluepaw described the tracks as best as she could, while Sootpaw allowed her mind to wander. Her stomach clenched in anxiety as she thought of the dream she'd had the night before. As reassuring as Bluepaw had tried to be, her fears still hadn't been entirely forgotten. There was no way to know exactly what her dreams meant, but Sootpaw knew nothing good was to come of them, and she was almost certain it had to do with the tracks.

_What sort of monsters could use them, though? _She wondered. _They're so much smaller than a real Thunderpath…and there was that odd flat trail leading to them. I suppose it was so that these smaller monsters could reach the tracks from that weird resting den, but I don't think most monsters are allowed to move over grass and earth like that…unless the rules we thought we knew were wrong._

"Something bothering you?" Sage inquired, and she blinked as she snapped back to the conversation. She flushed under her fur.

"No, no, I'm okay," she said. "Just a little tired, is all."

"How come you two were up so early, then? Neither of you look well-rested," Sage observed. Sootpaw felt panic come over her as she struggled to come up with an excuse, but Bluepaw only laughed.

"Are you saying we don't look good this morning, Sage?" she teased, and nudged his shoulder playfully, before diverting his attention with a question of her own. "What about you, huh? You've been giving Rabbitleap a weird look all morning."

"Ah, that," Sage said, and he seemed embarrassed. "Well…it's only a theory, really, just a hunch based on my, ah, observations…but I'm afraid I don't want to speak it. It would be rather rude to make such an assumption, if my theory isn't correct…."

Bluepaw nudged him again. "C'mon, out with it! What are you thinking about?"

Sage shook his head. "No, no, I'm afraid I can't say it just yet. It would be embarrassing if I was wrong, for both of us. Give me a few more days…I think then it should become clear."

Bluepaw frowned, then shrugged. "Okay, whatever you say. Did you sleep well?"

Sage nodded, and the two healers-in-training began to banter with one another playfully, exchanging all sorts of odd herb jokes that Sootpaw didn't quite understand. She finally began to block them out, returning to their worries, when she felt a tail touch her shoulder. She turned to find Nightingale blinking at her, a soft smile on her white face. Sootpaw smiled back, cheered by the white she-cat's calming presence.

"How are you?" she asked.

Nightingale curled her tail and rose it in the air slowly, rising the rising sun, before giving another bright smile.

"You're having a good morning?" Sootpaw guessed, and Nightingale nodded.

"Me too," Sootpaw lied, "although these tracks are kind of strange. I don't know what to make of them…perhaps you and Rook will have seen them before?"

"We were wondering what they looked like, actually," rumbled the dark brown tom as he came alongside Nightingale.

Sootpaw described them as Bluepaw had, trying to make what they had seen as clear as possible. Rook frowned, then shook his head when she finished.

"I'm not sure," he said. "We saw some paths that were similar to that in the park, but Twolegs were walkin' on 'em. I don't know what they would be good for out in the middle a nowhere, unless the Twolegs who stop at the resting-den want to walk around in the forest for some reason. I don't think it runs back to our Twolegplace, at least."

"Hopefully it won't be dangerous…maybe the Twolegs are just being strange," Sootpaw offered.

Rook's eyes clouded over. "No. The Twolegs always have a purpose, even if we can't understand it. You can't build the sort of stuff they build without some sort of a plan. I know most cats don't really think about it all that often, but when you really _look_ at their nests and Thunderpaths and everything…it's amazing."

Sootpaw tilted her head to the side, mulling it over. "Yes, I could see that. I think some of their dens would be really pretty, if they shined them up…I bet they could make some really big webs, and drape them over everything…then there would be sparkling dew all over them in the morning…that would be beautiful."

Rook rolled his eyes and muttered something about she-cats ruining everything. Sootpaw didn't take offense – Rook's accent, coupled with his half-hearted grumbling, was really rather amusing – but she looked away from him, trying to focus on their path.

The Twoleg resting-den came into view. There were a few more Twolegs mulling about now, but not many, and they were able to escape detection without much trouble. The grass was high enough to disguise them; it twisted and shook from side to side like the churning sea, something that Sootpaw would have found relaxing if not for the worry turning in her belly.

Bluepaw moved ahead of Reedrush and Thistlethorn to show them the path that she and Sootpaw had discovered. The group moved through the trail of flattened earth, until they came upon the Twoleg tracks.

Reedrush approached with caution, resting one paw on the smooth surface. "It's like a Thunderpath, just as you all said…but much smaller…hmm. It's older than the other Thunderpath, too; the sun's bleached it gray." She tapped the tracks with her paw. "I have no idea what it could be used for, to be honest. Perhaps Twolegs walk on it…? We might as well follow it, I suppose, but everyone should be careful."

Bluepaw pounced onto the Thundertracks – that was what Sootpaw had privately decided to call them, until they could think of another name – without fear. She bounced on the hard surface, as if testing it.

"It's not as sticky as the Thunderpath, and firmer, but I guess that's because it's older, like you said," she mewed. "The Thunderpath is only a few years old, right?"

Reedrush nodded. "It came into being when I was very young. The Twolegs ripped our territory apart to pave it. I suppose this trail was here before the Thunderpath, but I don't know what surface it might have served."

"No matter. Let's get moving," Thistlethorn growled. "Bluepaw, get off the path."

Bluepaw ignored him, and trotted forwards, following the gentle curve of the Thundertracks. "No monster can travel on this, it's too small! There's nothing to be scared of."

A chill ran down Sootpaw's spine as she recalled her dream, but Bluepaw was right. There was no way four monster paws could fit on these tracks; it was only a little bigger than a fox-length in width. Cautiously, she reached out to touch the surface of the Thundertracks. It was cooler than the Thunderpath, thanks to the trees that yawned over its dark surface on each side. It didn't _feel _dangerous, not the way the Thunderpath did, with the vibrations of racing monsters and the stench of their passing. The Thundertracks were silent, almost serene, and the scent surrounding them was only that of the forest. She felt herself relaxing, although she did not follow Bluepaw onto the tracks.

Thistlethorn rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just be careful."

Bluepaw giggled. "When am I ever not careful?" she asked, then yelped as she stumbled into a large hole in the tracks. Sootpaw's whiskers twitched as Bluepaw pulled her paw out of the hole – it seemed to have been made simply by the aging of the tracks – but decided not to say anything.

Rook surprised her by padding onto the tracks as well, followed by Nightingale. The two of them seemed almost nostalgic as they padded over its hard surface, and Sootpaw felt a twinge of pity for the two of them. Twolegplace had been their home, as hard as their life had been there. They had only left because Twolegplace was so crowded that it was nearly impossible to find food or avoid danger.

_I suppose all the rogues are forced to live that way, _she thought. _Those that leave end up running into cats like Adder, or Maggot…it's a miracle that we haven't run into more groups like that, really._

A few other cats – Rabbitleap, Sage, and Brackenpaw – trickled onto the tracks as well, more out of curiosity than anything. The others stayed on the edge, walking through the grass where it was safer. There wasn't any present danger, obviously, but Sootpaw felt better with grass and earth underneath her paws, rather than the false constructs of the Twolegs.

They walked for almost an hour before Sootpaw's belly remembered that it was hungry. It gave a quiet gurgle, and she looked to Reedrush and Thistlethorn, wondering if they remembered their promise to stop for some prey. Thistlethorn seemed intent on continuing, but Reedrush sensed the growing hunger of the rest of the group, and held up her tail for them to stop.

"We might as well eat now," she mewed. "We're farther from the Thunderpath and not near any Twoleg nests that I'm aware of, so there should be plenty of prey. Sootpaw, you can come with me."

Sootpaw's ears pricked at the offer, and she eagerly followed after the silver tabby.

"You need hunting training, right?" Reedrush asked, and Sootpaw nodded.

"Yes, please," she mewed eagerly. "I hunted a little with Northstar before, and it was really helpful."

"Why don't you show me what he taught you, then?"

Sootpaw's brow knitted as she tried to remember the white tom's words. "He said I should try to imagine that there are pebbles underneath my paws…and if I move too quickly, they'll all tumble away, and so will I. It's supposed to help with my stealth."

Reedrush's whiskers twitched. "Of course his metaphors would involve you possibly falling to your death."

Sootpaw blinked. "Do you not like him?"

The silver tabby cocked her head to the side. "I have nothing against him, I suppose…it's just still a bit strange for me to think of him as anything but an enemy. He opposed AshClan from the very beginning, you know, and he was the one responsible for the downfall of the original Clans."

"Not the original Clans," Sootpaw mumbled, thinking of the five she had seen in her dreams.

Reedrush frowned. "What was that?"

"Nothing!" Sootpaw exclaimed, embarrassed by her slip. She opened her mouth to scent the air, hoping to distract Reedrush, then blurted, "I think I smell a mouse nearby."

Reedrush nodded. "So do I. Go ahead, go after it. Show me your best moves." She winked, then took a step back, motioning for Sootpaw to go forwards.

The gray apprentice took a deep breath, then stared at the ground, trying to conjure up the image of hundreds of pebbles before her. She stepped forward, almost feeling their smooth, polished surface underneath her paws as she crept forward.

The little creature came into view, with its nose buried underneath a leaf. In this position, it was unable to see or scent her, although its hearing would still be accurate. She crouched, remembering Northstar's other advice: she had to be like a hawk, completely focused and intent on her target. Hawks didn't make mistakes, they didn't miss, and warriors didn't either.

Her eyes narrowed as she focused all her attention on her prey. She coiled her muscles beneath her, before throwing herself into the air. Her shadow spread out below her like a dark pool as she came crashing down on top of the mouse, snaring it with one paw. Before the creature could scamper away, she bit down, ending its struggles.

She looked over her shoulder to see Reedrush nodding.

"Excellent," she said, and Sootpaw beamed. "Northstar's teachings are valuable, I gather. Go ahead and bury that. There's more prey around here, and you could use some other crouches and stalking techniques beyond the ones for mice."

Sootpaw's eyes sparkled with pride as she buried her catch, and she followed Reedrush's lithe form into the brush, eager to feel more prey underneath her paws.

. . .

She returned without any other prey but her mouse, but rather than feeling downtrodden, for once she was elated. She hadn't really thought she would make any other catches anyway – the mouse had been lucky enough to satisfy her – but she had at least managed to brush a squirrel's tail before he scampered up a tree and disappeared from view. Reedrush had shown her a variety of crouches and ways to approach prey, which Sootpaw intended to practice as soon as she was able. Birds were going to prove her real adversary; they were always on high alert, twitching their heads in all directs to scan for predators, and even when no danger was present they would sometimes flit away out of paranoia. For a less stealthy cat, like herself, catching a bird was a challenge.

Bluepaw sprang upon her as soon as she returned, and the two of them dug into the mouse with ravenous abandon. Within moments, it was gone, leaving nothing but a few bones and scraps on their whiskers. They spent a few moments grooming each other, making sure to snag whatever bits of mouse the other couldn't reach, before settling down to relax until they were forced to move again. Sootpaw felt pleasantly full, despite the relative smallness of their meal. So far, the day was going well; nothing alarming had happened, and it sounded as though they were quite close to whatever the second herb was.

Finally, Thistlethorn and Reedrush called on them to get moving again. This time, only Bluepaw and Nightingale chose to walk on the tracks. The two she-cats walked side by side, and Sootpaw purred quietly as she listened to Bluepaw chattering a mile a minute. For once, she had a cat that couldn't cut her off or interject.

Sootpaw fell into step between Sage and Rook; it was more comfortable walking with toms, since being near she-cats made her feel like a clumsy giant. Reedrush was a little taller than her, but not by much; Sootpaw would catch up to the silver tabby in a few moons.

_Maybe I'll be as big as Jaggedclaw, _she thought, shuddering at the thought.

She noticed that Sage was watching Rabbitleap again, and her whiskers twitched as she wondered what it was about the gray-and-white she-cat that had grabbed his attention. She was fairly certain he didn't have a crush on the PeakClan warrior, but at the same time his interest was a little odd.

_Perhaps it's just a healer thing; Bluepaw sticks her nose everywhere too, _she pondered, before glancing at Rook. He too was focused on a she-cat; his green eyes stared at Nightingale, as if the force of his gaze would be enough to keep her safe. Sootpaw smiled to herself, remembering how protective Spiderpaw could be at times, then sighed; she wished she had her brother here right now, walking beside her. She missed his sleek black fur and shining green eyes, missed the way he used to get so fired up about becoming a warrior, missed the gleam of his eyes as they whispered to each other in the middle of the night. She even missed his occasional outbursts, his jeering and quick comebacks. He wasn't always pleasant to be around, that much was true, but she had always known that he had cared for her more than any cat in the Clan, aside from their parents.

_I hope that hasn't changed, _she thought, her ears flattening. _I mean, we've been gone almost a moon already, and there's no telling how much longer this will take...I know he won't have _forgotten _me after all this time, but he might not care for me as much as he used to…I still love him, and I know I always will, but…I suppose I'm a rather forgettable cat, really. I don't cause any ripples, I've never done anything too amazing, and I don't stand out compared to the other apprentices. I'm sure Fireblaze and Leopardpaw have all his attention. They're the bright, shining cats. They're the ones who don't care what anyone else thinks and do whatever they want. Compared to them, I'm nothing more than smoke from a flame._

An odd sound reached her ears, cutting off her gloomy thoughts. She stopped, and realized that the others had as well. She cocked her head to the side, trying to pinpoint the strange noise. It was a sort of whirring, like hard metal objects moving together, coupled with a sound almost like a monster's paws over a Thunderpath, yet somehow quieter. It took her a moment to become alarmed – the sound was alien, and didn't make any sense, for she had never seen a monster that would produce such a muffled sound – but panic was already creeping over Bluepaw's face, and she realized the medicine apprentice was seeing something that they could not.

"Move out of the way!" she exclaimed, then turned around and pushed Nightingale with all her might, sending them both tumbling to the side of the Thundertracks just as a pair of strange monsters rushed over the gray surface. They moved too quickly for Sootpaw to get a good look at them; all she caught was a fleeting image of two Twolegs perched upon a pair of strange monsters with only two paws, rather than the usual four, their legs pumping in earnest as if spurring the monster forward.

As soon as the Twolegs had passed, Rook rushed over the tracks to Nightingale's side. She seemed dazed from Bluepaw's hit, but was otherwise unharmed.

Bluepaw got to her paws slowly, then gasped with pain, crumbling to the ground.

"Bluepaw? What's wrong?" Sage asked urgently, appearing by her side almost instantaneously. The others crowded around her, and the blue-gray apprentice attempted a smile.

"It's nothing, really, I just twisted my paw," she mewed, before trying to stand again, this time on three legs. She held her right forepaw close to her chest, before dipping her head to give the injured paw a lick.

"Here, let me." Sage reached out, but Bluepaw drew away and shook her head.

"No, it's fine, really. It's just sore. It's not broken or anything…Nightingale, are you okay?"

The ex-kittypet had risen to her paws and gave Bluepaw a grateful nod. She performed the chest-lick-scoop motion that Sootpaw remembered meant 'thank you.'

Rather than seeming pleased at her success at avoiding the peril of Sootpaw's dream, Bluepaw seemed disheartened. She sighed. "I'm really sorry, Nightingale, I should have known better."

"How could you have known?" Sage asked, touching Bluepaw's shoulder with his tail. "Those monsters appeared without warning. They were much quieter than we would have ever guessed, and strange-looking. None of us have seen monsters like that before."

"No, no…I've just been keeping a secret from you all for a very long time now." Bluepaw's eyes glittered with guilt.

Sootpaw's ears pricked with interest. What could her friend possibly have been concealing?

"I've been having dreams," Bluepaw blurted. "Dreams of things to come. I had a dream that foretold there would be two warriors and two apprentices from each Clan. I had a dream that one of the apprentices would be hindered and unable to come. I had a dream that one of us would come very close to drowning, and I dreamed of us being attacked by an adder. I also had a dream about this." She bowed her head. "The dreams are really confusing, and hard to decipher, so I've always been too scared to speak up…I was afraid no one would believe me. Even medicine cats rarely have these sorts of dreams…but it would have been my fault if Nightingale was injured. I know I can't hide these dreams from you anymore."

Sootpaw went rigid with shock. _How could she take credit for _my _dreams? _She thought. For a moment, she forgot that she had never wanted her dreams in the first place, that she had never wanted them. A wave of hot fury washed over her, and she clenched her jaw.

"Really? That's incredible, Bluepaw!" Rabbitleap exclaimed. "Don't beat yourself up! It's thanks to the dreams that you were aware of the danger. If it wasn't for them, Nightingale could have been badly hurt!"

"You should have spoken up sooner," Thistlethorn growled. "A lot could have been avoided if we had known what else is to come."

"They were just brief flashes, really, of images and sounds," Bluepaw meowed, looking a bit frightened of the blue-gray tom. "They're hard to decipher, and most of the time they only make sense when something has already happened."

"It's an intriguing gift," Sage said. "Bluepaw, you and I should discuss this further. Feather has never spoken to me of such a thing, but if it can happen to a medicine cat, then it might be able to happen to a cat such as myself as well…I'd like to know more. In the future, you should feel more free to tell us when you have these dreams. I'm sure no one will doubt you now." He smiled at her, his emerald eyes glinting at the possibility of new information to help them in their quest.

All the time, while the others fawned over Bluepaw and expressed admiration for her so-called gift, Sootpaw simmered with anger and a touch of jealousy.

**AN: Late again, I'm sorry! You can yell at me if you want. :c**

**However, I have uploaded 3 new one-shots since the posting of last chapter (Just Say It, Last Words, and Immature, if I remember correctly) so if you haven't read them yet please go do so! All three are fairly relevant. **


	44. C h a p t e r 43

**C **_**h a p t e r **_**43**

He awoke as a gentle nose touched his shoulder, and found his mother blinking down at him with her kind, loving green eyes. He flushed underneath his fur, embarrassed at being caught with Blackfeather, then realized that she was no longer curled around him as she had been the previous night. He rubbed his eyes with one paw, wondering if he had dreamed up the whole thing, before realizing that Ravenwing was speaking.

"I know you're still tired, honey, but your father can't wait much longer," she said. "We need to know everything you learned while you were in the rogue camp. You don't have to say anything about the escape – Blackfeather and Fireblaze already filled us in on those details – but we do need some sort of briefing on the rogues, if you're feeling up to it. You can make it quick and go back to sleeping, if you'd like."

He blinked his bleary eyes at her, before rising to his paws. "No, I'm fine. I shouldn't even be that tired, I wasn't running around or anything…I guess I was just stressed out. I have a lot to tell Father and Silverstar."

Ravernwing smiled, then reached out and pulled her son close to her, pressing her nose against the top of his head. He didn't struggle or pull away, choosing instead to press himself against her and relished her warm, familiar scent.

"I'm glad you're okay," she said. "It broke my heart, having to leave you there…all I could think about was how I had failed both of my kits." She let out a soft, shuddering sigh. "Please be more careful, alright? I feel like I've already lost Sootpaw. I couldn't stand to lose you too."

Spiderpaw flushed under his fur again. "I'll keep safe," he mumbled. Ravenwing smiled, then padded out of the den, waiting for him in the entrance. He squinted in the bright sunlight, startled that he had slept to sunhigh, before following her towards the medicine den. Then, he stopped, catching sight of Blackfeather. She hurried to his side, her golden eyes anxious.

"Sorry, sorry, I know you're off to see Eaglestrike and all, I just wanted to make sure he's okay," she said to Ravenwing, before turning her eyes to Spiderpaw. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," he replied. "A little tired, I guess, but there's no reason for it. Is everyone else unhurt? No one was injured by one of the guards, or anything?"

Her eyes sparkled. "We're all fine. The guards never saw what hit them."

"Good. Listen, would you mind rounding everyone up for me? I need to talk to them. I don't think I was all that lucid last night."

Blackfeather seemed worried. "I can try, but…you know Leopardpaw. I honestly have no idea where she is."

"Just try," Spiderpaw said, touching her shoulder with his tail. Her eyes glimmered at him, and he felt hot under his fur as she gave him a small nod.

"I'll do my best," she mewed, before turning and sweeping her gaze over camp in search of his rescuers.

Spiderpaw turned back to his mother, and was surprised to find an amused twinkle in her jade-green eyes. "What?"

"Nothing," she chuckled, before ducking into the medicine den. He followed her into the cool recesses of the den, feeling the shadows lick at his pelt as gleaming eyes flickered in the depths of the darkness. He was surprised to see that Jaypaw was awake, for once, although the gray apprentice was silent, save for the coughs that wracked his frail body.

Silverstar was awake and alert as he entered, and she sat up with Forestheart's help, smiling at him. "Hello, Spiderpaw. It's good to have you back in camp. How are you feeling?"

"Fine," he said, still feeling unnerved by his leader's address. Silverstar had been such a rare figure when he was growing up that it was hard to get used to seeing her, even in the gloomy medicine den.

"You can stay," Silverstar said to Ravenwing, who had been moving to leave the den. The black she-cat shook her head.

"No, no, it's cramped enough in here as it is," she mewed. "I'll be waiting outside, Spiderpaw. Perhaps you and I can share a meal when you're done?"

Spiderpaw nodded, and his mother slipped out of the entrance. Eaglestrike's eyes followed her, before locking back onto his son.

"We need to hear about your time in the rogue's camp," he said. "Tell us as much as you can. I'm sure you didn't learn much, since they probably kept you in the den as much as possible, but even the smallest thing can help us."

Spiderpaw looked to Silverstar again, feeling nervous, and she gave him a warm smile.

"Just tell us what you saw, or heard or scented," she meowed. "We aren't blaming you for getting captured, although I'm sure we can both agree that declaring your parentage was a bit mousebrained." She let out an amused purr. "But you're young. Such mistakes are excusable. We're just happy to have you back, and glad that your Clanmates were brave enough to go and find you. If you see Leopardpaw, tell her that I'm grateful for her help, will you? It's thanks to her that you were rescued, although I wish she had come to us with her knowledge before."

Spiderpaw nodded. "Okay. Well, um…." He rasped his tongue over his muzzle, trying to collect his thoughts.

"They're not what I expected," he began. "They're not what anyone expected, really. You all say that Lion is evil, and maybe he is; I know he was corrupted by rage and the agony of losing his family…and I guess we just assumed Carmelo held that same sort of malice, because he sided with Lion. But from what the rogues say…he isn't that bad, really."

Eaglestrike's eyes narrowed. "I hope you're not just going off of the words of rogues," he growled. "You and I both know they won't speak badly of their leader."

"Baron did, on the patrol," Spiderpaw replied. "He doesn't exactly agree with Carmelo's rule; he thinks Carmelo should be tougher, if anything…but he does seem to respect him. All of them do. I think it's because Carmelo's giving them a second chance."

He proceeded to explain everything he had experienced, everything he had observed – Baron's self-inflated pride and absence, Fern's sharp discipline and surprising civility, Tubs's puzzling mixture of gluttony and kindness, Faint's quiet optimism – and everything that he had heard, including Baron's private conversation with Fern. He finished with the last details he could remember, of Tubs placing him in the nest of grass that the gray tom had gathered for him while he slept.

Eaglestrike and Silverstar were silent for a moment. Spiderpaw's father seemed worried, but Silverstar looked oddly calm.

It was Shimmerfrost that broke the silence. The silver tabby was lying on her side in the corner of the den, having been watching the entire scene play out. She let out a low, harsh laugh.

"Everything was just sunshine and grass nests over there, wasn't it?" she hissed. "Perhaps that was their plan all along…to make everything seem so hunky-dorey, when in reality Carmelo and the others are coming for us. Clever of them."

Silverstar rolled her eyes in her niece's direction. "I really doubt that's the case, Shimmerfrost. They don't seem to be that much of a cohesive group, from what Spiderpaw has told us…and let's be honest, do you think our Clan could pull that off? If we couldn't, even considering the bonds we have formed here, do you honestly think rogues from Twolegplace, who stem from all different factions and have only been assimilated into Carmelo's group because there is no one else to follow, could work together in such a way?"

Shimmerfrost let out a snort of disgust. "Perhaps not, but I can see you're melting. You probably don't want to punish them for stealing Spiderpaw at all."

"Attacking them won't do us any good at this point," Silverstar said, and Eaglestrike bristled.

"They kidnapped my son!" he protested.

"We attacked them first," Silverstar pointed out.

"_After _they tramped all over our territory, and killed one of our warriors," Shimmerfrost growled. She sounded bitter, and Spiderpaw wondered if the icy she-cat blamed herself for Birchpool's death.

_She should, _he thought darkly, curling his tail around his paws. _She wasn't in camp when Birchpool died. She was probably tumbling all over the bank with Goldenshine._

Forestheart rose to his paws; the brown tom seemed to fill the den with his presence as he looked from his mate, to Eaglestrike, to Shimmerfrost.

"Let's calm down now," he said, his voice soft and calm. "I don't think letting them off so easily is a good idea, Silverstar…but attacking them again won't solve our problem either. We just don't know enough about them right now. If everything Spiderpaw has told us is true, and they are simply looking for better lives in the marsh, do we have the right to take that away from them?"

"We need the marsh," Eaglestrike said. "The marsh was all that kept us from starving after the fire."

Silverstar opened her mouth, but Forestheart brushed his tail over her muzzle with great tenderness in his green eyes, silencing her. "Yes. That much is true…but what are the chances of such a thing occurring again? PeakClan never experienced a fire in all their years of living here. Aside from the occasional bad thunderstorm, little happened here before we arrived. If such a thing happens again, it will be far in the future, and who knows what will have happened with the marsh cats by then? We don't need that territory."

"You don't _know _that," the deputy growled. "When we finally have some queens in the nursery, our numbers will swell. There are few predators in the areas, and few dangers aside from the rogues. There's nothing to stop our population from growing, just like the Twolegplace's population did. We'll need the marsh some day."

Forestheart nodded again. "That's true too, but again, that is something that will take time. Our forest is full and lush – not at this very moment, perhaps, but when newleaf comes it will again be full of prey. You all have never been hungry here before, not since the fire. I lived in Twolegplace myself for a time, and even then the population of cats was wildly out of control. I went for days on end without eating. That has never been the reality here, and I don't think it will be for many moons to come, if not years."

He turned to Silverstar, waiting for her own reasoning. Spiderpaw blinked with interest as he realized that Forestheart was acting as the mediator between leader and deputy, a position that usually belonged to the medicine cat. He looked again to Shimmerfrost, and saw that she appeared sullen.

"My thought is very simple," Silverstar said. "We do not own the marsh. It has never been part of our territory. We've never marked any borders on it, or hunted in it when we weren't hard-pressed for prey…but it's more than that. StarClan never _gave _us the marsh. My father came to me in my dreams, saying that this forest was ours, that it was AshClan's destiny to live here, but _never _has StarClan said anything about the marsh. There's no telling if it belongs to the rogues, but there is one thing that's clear, and it is that the marsh does not belong to us, just as the forest did not belong to PeakClan."

Eaglestrike's eyes narrowed, and he opened his mouth to object, but a glance from Forestheart quieted him.

"I'm not trying to compare you to Lightstar," Silverstar said, sensing his discomfort. "You're not selfish like he was, or foolish. You want what is best for your Clan…but remember, PeakClan used this territory a long time before we came here. They didn't _need _it like we did, which was why StarClan gave it to us, and I believe that someone – not necessarily StarClan, perhaps, but someone or something just as important to the rogues as StarClan is to us – gave them the marsh, or is at least allowing them to use it for the time being, until things improve in Twolegplace. If we drive them out now, we will be just as selfish as PeakClan."

Forestheart looked to Eaglestrike for a rebuttal, but he didn't seem as angry as he had before.

"Perhaps attacking them isn't the best solution," he admitted, "but we can't just let them run amok. They can't be allowed to intrude upon our territory, if we decide to grant them the marsh."

Silverstar nodded. "I agree. You'll need to meet with them, since I doubt I'll be going anywhere any time soon." She coughed quietly as she spoke. Spiderpaw hoped that would be all, just one little cough, but the single cough didn't seem to appease the dark creature dwelling in Silverstar's body. Her body shook as she coughed again, and again, until the quiet coughs gave way to louder ones, and then forced her to wheeze for breath, her silver flanks straining. Forestheart pressed himself against her, trying to comfort her as well as he could, but it was several minutes before Silverstar managed to regain control of herself.

Shimmerfrost rose to her paws. "Lie down," she ordered, and Silverstar sank towards the ground like a fallen bird. "All of you, out, now," the medicine cat commanded. "She's tired, she needs to rest. Come back later."

Spiderpaw was frozen for a moment, staring at his frail leader, before jumping as Shimmerfrost jabbed him in the chest with one sharp claw.

"I mean it!" she snapped. "Out. You too, Eaglestrike."

The gray tabby's ears flattened. "I'm sorry," he began, but Silverstar shook her head weakly.

"I'll be fine," she said, but her voice caught and she muffled another cough by pressing her muzzle into her paws. The deputy looked to his son, and flicked his tail. Spiderpaw trailed after his father, shooting one last look over his shoulder as he exited the den. He caught the gleam of Jaypaw's eyes in the darkness, before the gray apprentice faded from view.

To Spiderpaw's surprise, Fireblaze, Robinpaw, Blizzardpaw, Blackfeather, and even Leopardpaw were waiting for him as he left the shadows of the medicine den. It took him a moment to remember what he had told Blackfeather. He shot her a grateful smile, before mouthing 'one minute,' and looking for his mother. She was hovering near the edge of the medicine den; Eaglestrike had stopped to murmur something in her ear before heading to talk to Petalcloud.

Spiderpaw trotted over to Ravenwing, feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry, but I need to talk to them about something," he said, flicking his tail towards Blackfeather and the others. "I'll be back soon, and we can share that meal, okay?"

To his surprise, Ravenwing only laughed, and licked his ear. "Talk with your friends, don't worry about me. I'm just glad you have them all looking after you. After Bluepaw left, I was worried for you. She was a good influence on you, my hot-tempered little tom." She drew him close again, flicking her tongue over his head, before padding towards the fresh-kill pile.

Blackfeather was watching him with amusement glowing in her golden eyes, and he found himself flushing under his fur as he padded back to her.

"Sorry about that," he said, looking from face to face. "I just wanted to say something, since I doubt I was making a lot of sense last night. I was still half-asleep." He paused for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts. "I know I haven't always been on the best terms with all of you…with most of you, really. I was completely shocked when you all came to rescue me. That was one possibility that I had never considered. And I know I owe you. So…." He shifted his weight, feeling uncomfortable.

"Robinpaw, I'm sorry I insulted you. Everyone in the Clan knows that you work just as hard as any apprentice, if not harder. You're loyal to the Clan, and you don't let your leg get to you, even when mousebrained cats like me try to bring you down."

Robinpaw's green eyes widened, before she flushed underneath her fur, pressing her pelt against Blizzardpaw's. Spiderpaw turned his attention to the white tom.

"I know we had a rough patch when you stole my moss for Fireblaze. I guess I can understand why you did it now; things could have been a lot worse for me if you hadn't. I know I blew up at you when we were sparring, too, and I shouldn't have. I let my temper control me. I can't promise that it won't happen again, but being unable to attack your own Clanmates isn't such a bad thing, and it's nothing for you to be ashamed of."

He looked to Blackfeather. "I've lost my temper with you too, numerous times…but you're my closest friend, and I'm proud to have you by my side, Blackfeather. There's no one I would rather have with me in battle."

Blackfeather's golden eyes glimmered at him, and although she ducked her head to hide her expression, he caught the soft curl of her smile.

"Fireblaze," he said, his eyes darting to the ginger tom. "You and I have probably had more bad blood between us than any other cat in camp. I can't say that some dark feelings still linger between us, and it will be a long time before they fade away, but I know you're loyal to your Clan, your leader, and your sister. You're not fond of me, but you still came to rescue me with the others, even knowing that it would be dangerous. Thank you."

Fireblaze tilted his muzzle upwards, his amber eyes gleaming with pride.

Leopardpaw was last, and she stiffened as his green eyes flicked to hers. He was quiet for a moment, before he said,

"We've had our disagreements in the past too. I've never trusted you, even after you fished my sister out of the river. To be honest, I'm not sure if I would have even called you one of my Clanmates before all of this: you're cagey, unpredictable, and your temper is volatile to say the least…but even with all of that, you still arranged my rescue. Maybe you have selfish motives at heart, there's no way for me to know, but I think from now on I'm going to at least give you the benefit of the doubt…and I think I'm glad to call you my Clanmate now."

He was almost afraid that Leopardpaw would give a pretentious snort, or simply race off into the forest without a word, but she didn't move. She gave him the smallest of nods, and remained silent.

Spiderpaw felt as though a weight had been lifted from his chest. He let out a quiet sigh, and glanced over his shoulder, looking for his mother.

"I promised her we could share a meal, so I guess I've got to go," he meowed. "I just wanted to, ah, say thank you. Again. Bye."

With that, he turned tail, burning underneath his fur. _I bet I sounded like a complete mousebrain, _he thought as he reached his mother, and sat down beside her. _Still…I guess I'm glad I said it. I guess Bluepaw was kind of right, wasn't she? Respect is a give-and-take sort of thing…and friendship is a kind of respect._

His mother smiled at him, and nudged the finch she had been nibbling on towards him. "Did you make amends?"

He blinked in surprise, then mentally rolled his eyes. _Of course she knows what's going on. She _was _training as a medicine cat once, after all. How do they always _know _everything?_

"I guess," he said, plucking off a few of the feathers before taking a bite. "It's a step forward, at least."

She flicked her tail against his flank. "I'm so proud of you. You're getting bigger every day, you know."

His ears burned with embarrassment, but inside he glowed with pride. "What do you think they're going to do about the rogues?"

Ravenwing shook her head. "I'm not sure. I don't think we'll do anything immediately; the Gathering is coming up in a few days. We'll probably wait to speak to PeakClan before launching any more attacks or meetings. After all, there's still that issue of PeakClan warriors invading our territory that must be dealt with, and we don't know if the rogues have been bothering PeakClan too. We'll have to see."

Spiderpaw's ears pricked with surprise as he realized that she was right; the Gathering was drawing near. In only a few days, they would meet with PeakClan again, and see if the snowberry plants had been able to help the stony Clan at all. He felt his pulse quicken at the thought of seeing PeakClan and AshClan cats intermingling with the moonlight dappling their pelts.

"Do you think I'll be able to go?" he asked.

Her whiskers twitched, and she gave him a mysterious smile. "We'll see."

There was the sound of pawsteps behind him, and he twisted around to see Petalcloud giving Ravenwing an apologetic smile.

"Sorry," she mewed, "but Eaglestrike wants Spiderpaw to patrol the territory." She looked down to her apprentice. "He doesn't think we should make a move against the rogues yet – we'll wait to see where we are with PeakClan first – but he does believe it would be wise to show them that you're still strong and unafraid of them. We'll be lingering by the rogue border…if you're up to it, that is. I'm not sure if you're still tired…?"

Spiderpaw shook his head and rose to his paws. "No, I'm wide awake." He turned back to Ravenwing. "Thanks for the meal."

His mother dipped his head to him, before finishing off the rest of the finch and standing. "I need to speak with Frostfeather anyway…she worries. I'll see you two later. Be careful, okay?"

Spiderpaw promised he would, and Ravenwing trotted away in search of her white sister. Frostfeather was lying down by the nursery, looking rather forlorn, with Darkstorm curled around her.

_It must be hard, with Robinpaw's leg and Jaypaw's illness, _he thought, blinking at his aunt. _Neither of those are really her fault, but I bet she feels like she wasn't strong enough to protect them. Mother says that Frostfeather always prided herself on her fighting ability…but I guess that can't handle everything._

"Darkstorm, you're coming on our patrol as well," Petalcloud mewed. "Eaglestrike says you haven't been on one in a few days…?"

Darkstorm blinked down at Frostfeather. She turned and licked his muzzle, before murmuring something in his ear. Darkstorm nodded, and rose smoothly to his paws, his sleek black tail flicking from side to side as he waited for Petalcloud to lead them out of camp.

"Can I come?" a voice squeaked with excitement. Spiderpaw turned to see Robinpaw hobbling forward, her green eyes glowing with excitement as she blinked up at Darkstorm. The black tom seemed uncomfortable, and he shot Petalcloud a pleading look. Petalcloud seemed irritated by Darkstorm's unwillingness to patrol with the ginger apprentice; even though she wasn't really his daughter, he and Frostfeather were something similar to mates, and neither Robinpaw nor Jaypaw had a real father to look up to.

"Of course she can come," Petalcloud mewed, before trotting towards the camp entrance. Spiderpaw trailed her, keeping one eye on Darkstorm. The black tom was frowning, but he didn't protest; after all, even Petalcloud could be fierce when she was angry.

Spiderpaw's ears pricked with surprise as Robinpaw pressed her nose against his flank.

"Thanks for saying that stuff earlier," she whispered to him. "It was nice to get a real apology out of you." Her eyes twinkled, and Spiderpaw suddenly wondered if she had known all along that he hadn't apologized, that Blackfeather had lied for him to get Robinpaw to forgive him. He opened his mouth to ask her, before closing it again, deciding that the answer didn't matter. Blackfeather had meant well, and everything had turned out alright, in the end. Robinpaw had never been angry with him in the first place; perhaps she had just been looking for an excuse to forgive him.

He cocked his head to the side as he watched her. Her eyes were locked onto Darkstorm, who had hurried his pace to keep up with Petalcloud, and gleaming with admiration. Spiderpaw didn't understand what she saw in the black tom. According to Ravenwing, he had improved from when they had first met – but then again, it was difficult for him _not _to have improved, considering the coward that he had been – but he still wasn't an outstanding warrior. Stormshadow was stronger, Forestheart was smarter, and Eaglestrike was nobler. Darkstorm might have been able to be one of the fastest toms in the forest, with his relatively lithe body, if he actually attempted it, but he seemed more apt to just lie around in camp sunning himself, or curled up with Frostfeather. The two of them almost always seemed to be hanging off of one another.

Darkstorm seemed oblivious to Robinpaw's interest; either that, or he was willfully ignoring her. Spiderpaw didn't really understand that, either, how the tom could be so cold to Robinpaw. He had heard about the incident that had caused the ginger apprentice to break her leg in the first place; as a kit, she had climbed up into a tree when Darkstorm was supposed to be watching her, and had fallen.

"Hey!" Robinpaw exclaimed suddenly, sidling up to Darkstorm. "I smell a squirrel. Do you smell it? Do you think you could catch it? They're too fast for me."

Darkstorm blinked down at her, the discomfort obvious in his eyes. "I don't smell anything."

Robinpaw smiled, and rested her head against him. "Just take in a deep breath. It's pretty close."

Petalcloud glanced at Darkstorm, her honey-colored eyes unusually frosty. "I smell it."

Darkstorm's ears flattened. "Yeah, I guess I smell it too…but we're on patrol, we can't stop to hunt…."

"It's leaf-bare, Darkstorm! We can't just ignore prey," Petalcloud snapped. "Go and get it. Bury it, and we'll fetch it on the way back."

Darkstorm flinched like a scolded apprentice, before he slinked into the brush.

"I want to watch!" Robinpaw chirped, limping after him. Her ginger tail disappeared from sight, and Petalcloud let out a weary sigh.

"I don't know what Frostfeather is going to do with him," she said, sitting down and curling her tail around her paws. "Robinpaw clearly wants a father, but he just…Hmm." She twitched her nose with irritation. "She's not even a kit anymore. He can't claim that silly phobia of his."

"She still looks up to him, though," Spiderpaw observed. "I'm not sure we can change that. I'm not sure we _should._"

Petalcloud sighed again. "I know. I don't want to break her little heart, but—"

She broke off as Darkstorm and Robinpaw reappeared. A tuft of squirrel fur was on one of Darkstorm's warriors. Robinpaw reared up onto her hind legs unsteadily and flicked it off of his face with one paw. Her injured leg trembled beneath her, and she narrowly avoided collapsing onto one side. She came back down on all fours, looking embarrassed but pleased.

Darkstorm had shivered under her touch, and edged away from her. "I got it," he said to Petalcloud, without looking at Robinpaw.

"He was really fast," Robinpaw purred. "I think that's the fastest I've ever seen you move, Darkstorm!"

The black warrior flinched, but didn't say anything. Petalcloud shot Spiderpaw a glance, before flicking her tail and continuing the patrol.

They passed PeakClan's border without incident, and began following the Black Stream towards the Thunderpath. Spiderpaw stiffened as the wind changed direction. Over the scent of the dark Thunderpath and rushing monsters came the unmistakable stench of rogues.

Petalcloud's tail brushed his flank in an attempt at a comforting gesture, but he wasn't paying attention to her. He stared at the Thunderpath, watching the monsters rush to and fro, thinking of the strange Colony lurking in the reeds. Was Tubs still sleeping somewhere, or had he been punished for letting Spiderpaw escape? Was Faint sitting in the nursery alone, with only the kits in her belly to keep her company? What had happened to the guards that Fireblaze and the others had defeated?

Petalcloud nudged him this time, and he snapped out of his reverie. The group made quick work of marking the border – Spiderpaw was careful to make sure that his scent was prominent, as Eaglestrike had wanted – before they began heading back to camp. Spiderpaw was already anxious to return to camp, and tired. He thought of his training with Blizzardpaw, and silently hoped that the white apprentice wouldn't be angry with him for wanting to push back their training another night. Spiderpaw wasn't sure he could stay awake long enough to give Blizzardpaw any decent pointers, at the very least.

The trek back to camp was mostly uneventful. Spiderpaw kept his eyes on the two warriors, noticing how they both seemed uncomfortable. He frowned to himself, wondering if other warriors felt the same way about Darkstorm, because of his odd fears and alienation of Robinpaw, or if Petalcloud was more sensitive about the issue, since she was a mother herself.

Robinpaw seemed oblivious; she was focused on the scents and sounds of the patrol, probably hoping to find more prey to point out to the black warrior.

They neared camp, and Petalcloud stopped abruptly. "We should retrieve that squirrel," she said, shooting a glance in Darkstorm's direction. "I'm sure Eaglestrike doesn't want any cat wandering out there alone, in case of a rogue attack or PeakClan warriors. I'll come with you."

The black warrior obviously didn't want her to, but he couldn't turn away. He dipped his head to her, his ears flattened.

"We'll tell Eaglestrike about the patrol," Spiderpaw mewed, sensing that Petalcloud wanted her privacy. He began nudging Robinpaw towards the camp entrance.

She hobbled over the log, and he followed her, before glancing over his shoulder towards Petalcloud and Darkstorm, who had since disappeared.

"Hey," he called to Robinpaw. "Go and tell Eaglestrike without me, will you?"

Robinpaw frowned. "Why? What are you going to do?"

Spiderpaw's mind raced to come up with some sort of excuse. "I have to, er, make dirt."

The ginger apprentice's nose wrinkled. "Spiderpaw, that's gross! You don't have to say it like _that._"

"I'll be back soon!" Spiderpaw said, ignoring her disgust, before wheeling around and springing through the entrance.

He opened his mouth immediately to pinpoint Petalcloud and Darkstorm's scents. They were both still fairly close, and he could hear them moving through the undergrowth, albeit slowly. He crept forward, following the sound of their pawsteps.

"This has to stop," Petalcloud mewed suddenly, making him freeze; luckily, she and Darkstorm seemed to have stopped as well.

"What?" Darkstorm's voice was high and already defensive.

"Don't 'what' me, you know what I'm talking about." Petalcloud sounded as though she was scolding a kit. "Robinpaw. You can't just keep ignoring her."

Darkstorm took a more sullen approach. "I'm not ignoring her…."

"Don't give me that, either. You act like she doesn't even exist. She looks up to you, Darkstorm. She wants you to care about her, but you constantly disregard her. She's your daughter now, whether you like it or not."

"Frostfeather—"

"From what I hear, you're the first tom Frostfeather has ever truly settled down with – StarClan only knows why. I realize that you don't want kits of your own, but Robinpaw and Jaypaw are _yours _now. If you truly love Frostfeather, you have to at least try to accept them." Petalcloud's voice dipped lower, shifting into a gentler tone. "I understand that you have your kit phobia, but Robinpaw isn't a kit anymore, and—"

"It has nothing to do with that!" Darkstorm blurted, his voice growing higher and louder. "Don't you think I realize Robinpaw's not a kit anymore? I see her every day, for StarClan's sake! That's all you ever think of, all of you. Yes, I hate kits. I can't stand looking at them. But why does that have to _define _me? Why does every one of my so-called problems have to stem from that? There's more to me than that. Frostfeather sees it. That's why I love her!"

Spiderpaw took a deep breath and moved forward as silently as he could, fearing that the dark warrior was about to snap. He knew Petalcloud was fierce, but he wasn't sure she could keep the black warrior at bay if he released himself to his anger.

"Darkstorm—"

"Do you _really _know why I can't talk to her, or even look at her without flinching? Because I still _see _her as a kit. I remember how she was when she was up in that tree. She was fearless, she was filled with courage and life, and then she fell, and her leg broke, and everything changed for her. All the struggles she has to go through today are because of her leg. She's not as fast or strong as the other apprentices. PeakClan cats don't respect her as a warrior, and I doubt the rogues will either. Earning her warrior name will be harder for her than any other cat. _And it's my fault. _I was paralyzed by fear, I let her fall, I let Frostfeather down. Every time I see her, I see all of that failure crashing down on me. And I know if I let her believe me again, I'll let her down. If I let Frostfeather put her trust in me and I break that trust again, there won't be any saving us. And I can't let that happen, Petalcloud, I _can't_. I love her so much that it hurts, and I…." His voice faltered.

"Darkstorm," Petalcloud said again, even more gently this time. "If you don't want to be defined by your phobia, why do you think Robinpaw wants to be defined by her leg? She works just as hard as any other apprentice…and she might have a hard time becoming a warrior, that's true, but there's no reason why she can't prove herself like everyone else. She's more popular in PeakClan than you might think, and she always works hard to keep up. It's true that her life is harder than it would have been if she hadn't fallen, but sometimes adversity brings out the best in us. Do you think you would be a better cat if you had stayed out of the Clan, and clung to your old life? Do you think I would be stronger if I had kept the soft life of a kittypet?

"Robinpaw doesn't need you to protect her. She just wants to know you care. Look at Blizzardpaw: he's protective of her, but he knows when to let her stand on her own. She needs a father, not a savior."

The two warriors came into Spiderpaw's view, although Petalcloud's back was to him, and he could barely see Darkstorm's face. The black tom was staring at his paws, his yellow eyes dull and tormented.

"We should be getting back," Petalcloud mewed, reaching out to touch Darkstorm's flank with her tail. "Let's get that squirrel. You and Robinpaw can share it. How does that sound?"

Darkstorm's eyes flicked up to the calico's kind face, and he nodded, before turning and pushing his way through the brush. Petalcloud trailed after him.

Spiderpaw waited until the sound of their pawsteps faded, before turning and heading back to camp.

. . .

Blackfeather was waiting for him returned, looking a bit anxious.

"You guys were gone a long time," she said. "Is everything okay? Nothing bad happened on patrol, right?"

Spiderpaw inclined his head. "Everything went fine. We didn't smell anything fishy. The rogues are keeping on their side of the Thunderpath right now. What about you? Anything interesting happen in camp?"

Blackfeather shrugged. "I don't know, I was hunting with Fireblaze. We didn't scent anything either, so I guess PeakClan won't be making another appearance before the Gathering, thank StarClan. I'm not sure I could stand fighting them again…they seemed so desperate."

Spiderpaw reflected on the battle with Goldenshine, Twigstripe, and Volewhisker. All three of them had seemed tired and despondent.

"Things must be bad in PeakClan right now," was all he said. "There's nothing we can do about that, though. We need the snowberry plant too, and we can't let them take it from us."

Blackfeather sighed, before sitting down and wrapping her feathered tail around her paws. "Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we hadn't come here?"

Spiderpaw copied her. "I don't know. I guess I would still exist, which is comforting. Where else do you think we would have gone, exactly?"

"I mean, what if StarClan had sent Silverstar somewhere else instead of here? It kind of seems like this is one of the worst places we could have ended up," Blackfeather mewed. "PeakClan would have been better off without us. I think it's good that Northstar found them – they helped him grow, and he's helped them do the same – but we haven't exactly done them any favors. Because of us, they had to fight Lion, and make deals with Twolegplace cats, and fight off the chilling disease and send warriors out on a journey and give up their territory and now they have Carmelo's threat looming over their heads."

Spiderpaw shrugged. "I think Twolegplace would have given them trouble eventually anyway, if they really are so overcrowded. Plus, Lion was looking to expand his borders, to get more cats to help take down Silverstar. It wouldn't have mattered where we had gone. PeakClan still would have had a battle on their paws, and they would have been ill-prepared to face it. At least with us here they had a fighting chance, and got to keep half their territory, instead of being slaughtered and forced into working for Lion."

"A lot of us might never have come together, I guess," Blackfeather said. "Reedrush wouldn't have crossed paths with Jaggedclaw, because she would have been heading for somewhere else…Frostfeather and Darkstorm would never have met…Silverstar wouldn't have been captured by Forest…I've always sort of felt that love was fate, though. Like, there's one perfect cat out there for you, and you just have to find him or her, and you will someday. Your paths will cross. You just have to look out for them." She tilted her head to the side, watching him. "Do you think so?"

He wrinkled his nose. "No. I mean, why would Jaggedclaw have changed his path, or Darkstorm have ever ventured away from Twolegplace? Why would Forest have tried to leave his territory? There can't be just one cat out there for everyone. I mean, that would imply that it would be way more likely for you to find your mate in Twolegplace than here. And it would be even more likely for you to find him in an even bigger Twolegplace. You could just be wandering from Twolegplace to Twolegplace looking for him, really. You could waste your wholelife looking for him."

Blackfeather's ears flattened. "I guess I hadn't really considered that…it's just a comforting thought, you know? It's nice to think that there's someone out there for you."

"There is," Spiderpaw said. "In fact, I am sure there are a lot of someones. I don't think we can afford to be picky about who we fall in love with. If everyone was always looking for their one someone, the Clan would dry up pretty fast. Without love and mates, we wouldn't have any kits.

"Besides, who would be in charge of deciding who we're supposed to fall in love with? Would StarClan make a group of matchmakers to select mates for everyone? And what about Clan cats that fall in love with rogues? Would StarClan have to have matchmaker sessions with the ancestors of rogues too?" He twitched his whiskers with amusement at the idea of a bunch of starry cats crossing the heavens for the simple sake of love.

To his surprise, Blackfeather's ears were flattened, and her eyes glimmered with hurt.

"I told you, it was just a comforting thought for me," she said, a slight tear to her voice as she rose to her paws. "You didn't have to make fun of me."

"Blackfeather, I wasn't—it was just a joke—" Spiderpaw started to say, but Blackfeather had already turned away from him. He watched her disappear into the warrior den like fading mist, feeling as though he should go after and apologize. He let out a low huff, and rolled his eyes.

_I've done enough of that today, _he thought, giving his chest a lick. _StarClan can only expect so much out of me. Besides, I was only joking! Who knew she'd be so sensitive about something as silly as love? It must be a she-cat thing._

"You were making such progress this morning," he heard a voice purr behind him. He didn't have to turn around to recognize it as Leopardpaw's. She came to sit beside him, a pleased smile curling her muzzle.

"You just can't pin that arrogance down inside you for very long, though, can you?" she asked.

Spiderpaw opened his mouth to unleash a spiteful comment, before remembering that he was supposed to be polite to Leopardpaw, at least in passing. If it wasn't for her, he might still be in the rogue's camp.

"It's not a big deal," he said with a roll of his eyes. "She's the one who brought it up."

Leopardpaw seemed even more amused by this. "She brought up love, without any sort of leading-up?"

"We were talking about the Clan first."

"And, let me guess, she started that conversation too?"

"Well, yeah, but…." Spiderpaw shifted his weight uneasily.

Leopardpaw only chuckled. "Interesting." She gave him a knowing look that made his fur ruffle uncomfortably.

"She was just making conversation," he said.

"Of course," Leopardpaw replied with a flick of her ear. "But you're going to have to apologize. Love is a serious thing to she-cats her age."

Spiderpaw frowned, feeling a prickle of worry. "She knows I was kidding. She'll get over it."

"Perhaps some flowers," Leopardpaw continued, as if she had not heard him, "or a plump mouse, if you can find one. She likes birds, doesn't she? Find a nice bird and show it to her."

A tingle ran down Spiderpaw's spine, and he eyed her with suspicion, wondering if she knew more about Blackfeather and birds than she was letting on. Had she been watching the two of them that morning?

Leopardpaw blinked back at him without giving anything away, as usual. Finally, he sighed.

"She'll be fine by tomorrow," he insisted, before rising to his paws. Glancing up at the sky, he was surprised to find it streaked with orange and red, as the sun began to fade.

_I guess I did sleep half the day away, _he thought, before glancing at Leopardpaw.

"I'm going to sleep," he meowed. "Are we going to spar tomorrow?"

Leopardpaw seemed surprised by the offer. "You were serious about that before? Not afraid I'm going to rip your face off or something like the crazed rogue that I am?"

"I think I can handle you," he retorted, with a smile to show he was only kidding. Leopardpaw blinked once, then rose to her paws and turned away without another word. He assumed that was a 'yes.' Spiderpaw rolled his eyes at her back, before ducking into the apprentice den and curling up on his nest.

_She-cats, _he thought, reflecting on Robinpaw, Petalcloud, Blackfeather, and Leopardpaw all at once. _They're crazier than a hornet's nest._

Blackfeather's hurt expression flashed into his mind again, and his frown deepened. _I hope Leopardpaw's wrong. Blackfeather's not the type to hold grudges, but I think I might have actually hurt her feelings…._

_Well, I'm not getting her _flowers._ That's stupid, flowers are useless. Maybe I can find her some prey or something, though._

He yawned again, allowing himself to relax. His moss nest was far more comfortable than the one made of grass he had slept in while in the possession of the rogues, and the ambient sounds were much more pleasing…not to mention the familiar scents of his Clanmates, and the comforting knowledge that his family was nearby.

Slowly, he drifted off to sleep.

**AN: My next week or so is gonna be really busy, just a heads up. Three Honors things between now and the fifteenth, Prom on the twelth, Graduation on the eighteenth, and Chilled's one-year anniversary is coming up too. I'm so ashamed; Chilled is so much shorter than Shattered, and Shattered wasn't even a year old. Siiigh.**

**Also my birthday is the 26****th****, but that feels pretty far away right now, tbh.**


	45. C h a p t e r 44

**C **_**h a p t e r **_**44**

_Chillpaw was waiting for her as soon as she opened her eyes. Moonpaw had already let him into the dream, and Sootpaw was surprised to see that he had someone with him._

"_Swiftshade?" she asked curiously, blinking at the blue-and-white tom as the forest appeared around them. Chillpaw began to stride into the brush without a word, and Sootpaw turned with him._

"_Don't follow me," he said, glancing at her over his shoulder. "I have things to do. I'm sure you can keep yourself entertained."_

_Sootpaw blinked, taken aback by his harsh tone. Her ears flattened, but she nodded. "Um, okay. Are you going to come back—"_

_She cut off as he disappeared from view. "Okay then," she mumbled, feeling surprisingly dejected as she turned back to Swiftshade. "What are you here for?"_

_She realized as soon as the words left her mouth how cruel they sounded, and she hastened to add to them to soften the blow, but Swiftshade cut her off with a shake of his head._

"_I just…well, Shrew said that you could build things. In the dream. I was just wondering if perhaps you could…." He seemed embarrassed as he trailed off, and he shuffled his paws uncomfortably._

"_You want me to try and make a place for you?" she asked. "Somewhere from your memories?" She thought of Shrew, and flinched despite herself. "A place where you did something terrible?"_

"_It wasn't always a terrible place," he said. "I did make a terrible mistake there, once…but before that, it was a beautiful place. I just wanted to visit it again, is all. Even if we do manage to muddle through all of this, even if I am reincarnated, I'll never be able to go to that place…it doesn't exist in RiverClan's territory any longer, not the way it was."_

_He bowed his head. "But I understand if you make it uncomfortable. I was just…hopeful. It's been a long time. I've almost forgotten what it feels like."_

_He looked over his shoulder, as if searching for Moonpaw. "I can go, if you'd like."_

_Sootpaw felt a flutter of pity for the heavy-hearted tom. Of all the Dark Forest cats, she could empathize with him the most. She knew how it felt to be outshined by a sibling, to feel as though she had to do whatever her brother said in order to keep him happy._

"_Okay," she found herself saying. "I can try. It might not be as good as you remember, but…I can try."_

_Swiftshade's eyes glinted with gratitude. "Thank you."_

_She sat down and calmed herself as she had done before, reaching out with her mind to contact the dream, feeling the glinting leaves and gleaming grass._

"_Go on, then," she said, still keeping her eyes closed. "What did it look like?"_

_Swiftshade's voice was low, almost husky, and slowly but surely the picture began to form in her mind. His voice painted a silver willow for her, a sparkling stream, old roots clutching a tiny, grassy little island, silver fish darting in the shallows. She could hear the river rushing over the stones, scent that quaint, fishy smell of silver scales and fluttering fins, picture the willow's leaves dipping gently into the flowing surface of the little creek._

_And then, something strange happened. Swiftshade began speaking of someone else, a cat – just snippets here and there, how her pelt had looked like the clouds, which were always easy to see from within the folds of the willow, or how her eyes had been even bluer than the reflection of the sky on the stream – and Sootpaw could feel something changing. There was a little pull, a little tug inside of her mind that she knew shouldn't be there. At first, she tried ignoring it, focusing on the scene, but the tugging became stronger, and Swiftshade fell abruptly silent._

_Her eyes fluttered open, but she did not behold the willow, the stream, or the fish. Instead, her attention was completely focused on the smoky white form that had appeared out of thin air._

_It was a she-cat, with blue eyes that were both playful and alluring, although her face seemed frozen in an expression of deep, aching sorrow. Sootpaw was stricken speechless, and for a long moment she and Swiftshade merely stared at the strange apparition._

_Then, the white spirit took a step towards Swiftshade. He stiffened, a muffled sound building in his throat. Sootpaw felt a flare of panic, and her concentration lapsed for a single moment. Instantly, the white cat disappeared, leaving Sootpaw wondering if she had ever been there at all._

_Swiftshade was on his paws immediately, staring at the spot where the white cat had been. He touched the ground where she had been standing, but the grass was not flattened, the earth not disturbed. He looked to Sootpaw, an expression of pain and confusion written clearly on his face._

"_Who was that?" Sootpaw asked, although somehow she already knew the answer._

"_My…my sister," Swiftshade whispered, looking again to where the white she-cat had stood. "The way I remembered her, I mean…before she became leader and grew old…it was her, I swear, it looked as though I could have just reached out and touched her…." His voice was ragged with pain._

"_Swiftshade, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to," Sootpaw mewed. "I'm not even sure what happened, she just sort of slipped in there…."_

_She blinked as she remembered when she and Chillpaw had played in the stone, and the memory of Lion had appeared. The white she-cat had seemed exactly like that, wavering and on the edge between existence and oblivion. _

Just a memory, _she thought, feeling another surge of pity for Swiftshade. _Just like Lion, her memory crept in only to be snatched away from him again….

"_I'm sorry," she said again, but she wasn't sure he was listening._

"_I didn't realize how much I miss her," he murmured. "I mean, I still care for her because my sister, but after all she did, I didn't think it would _hurt _so much to see her disappear again…."_

"_It wasn't really her," Sootpaw meowed, trying to comfort him as best she could. "It was just part of your imagination. You were describing her with the setting, so I guess I just sort of…created her. I'm really sorry. I didn't know that I could do that. It won't happen again."_

_Swiftshade's eyes flicked towards the willow tree, and his gaze softened for a moment. "It looks right," he said, and began moving towards it, padding through the icy water without flinching until he reached the trunk. Sootpaw followed him, a shudder running down her spine as the flowing stream chilled her paws._

_Swiftshade reached out with one paw and touched the trunk gently. He closed his eyes, and somewhere a breeze stirred, sending the willow's tendrils swaying. One reached up and touched his muzzle, like a mother's touch._

"_Just as I remembered," he whispered, before turning towards her. Gratitude glimmered in his eyes. "Thank you."_

_She nodded. "No problem. I think creating scenery is actually kind of fun…why was this place special, out of curiosity? What happened here?"_

"_My mother brought my sister and I here, when we were young," he answered. "After she died, we continued to visit, but it grew more depressing after time. It's my fault the place fell into ruin."_

_Sootpaw couldn't hold back her curiosity. "How could it be your fault?"_

"_I let my friend die."_

_Sootpaw's ears pricked; she hadn't heard of Swiftshade having any close friends at all when she had talked to him earlier. _

_Swiftshade continued, unprompted, "Her name was Berrypaw. We were friends as kits and apprentices. One day, during leaf-bare, we ventured onto one of the rivers on our territory…the ice was thin, and she fell in. I was too afraid to try and reach her. She drowned. I don't think her father, Foxstar, ever forgave me._

"_After that leaf-bare, things changed in the territory. The larger creek that fed this little stream changed its path after a bad flood. The willow's island dried up, and the fish died. It was never the way I remembered it again."_

"_But Berrypaw didn't die _here, _did she?" Sootpaw asked. "How could the stream changing its path be your fault? StarClan wouldn't punish you for something you couldn't control. Of course you were scared to help. Anyone would be."_

_Swiftshade didn't seem to have heard her. "Snowstep used this place against me. She said the change in the stream was because of StarClan's anger, and that I had disappointed them. She said the only way to reclaim their guidance would be by helping her."_

_Sootpaw remembered what his sister had wanted: for Swiftshade to kill the deputy of the Clan, then the leader, so Snowstep could seize power. She moved forward and pressed her nose against Swiftshade's flank. He started, then looked down at her, his eyes still clouded with grief._

"_What if it happens again?" he asked. "What if I fall into the same pattern in the next life? What if I just end up chasing my tail and come back here once more?"_

"_Then I'll be here," she said, trying to soothe him. "I'll give you another chance. You're a good cat on the inside, I _know _it. You'll find your way this time, and if you don't, I'll try to be here to help."_

_Swiftshade stared at her for a long moment, before moving forward and pressing his nose against her shoulder. She stiffened, surprised by his reaction._

"_I won't forget," he rasped. "I swear to you, I will not forget what you have given us."_

_Sootpaw's fur tingled uncomfortably – she didn't understand why his reaction was so mournful, instead of hopeful – but she didn't have time to say anything._

"_What are you two doing?"  
><em>

_Chillpaw's voice was as quiet and sharp as crackling ice. Swiftshade drew away abruptly, his ears flat against his head. Sootpaw turned to find Chillpaw staring the blue-and-white warrior down with his chilling gaze._

"_I didn't tell—" Swiftshade started to say, only to be cut off by a clap of thunder. Dark clouds swirled over their heads, gray and ominous. Sootpaw shivered as an icy breeze whipped over her fur, ruffling Swiftshade's whiskers._

"_We're leaving," Chillpaw growled. "You certainly won't be coming back here, you clouded fool. Moonpaw!"_

_The black she-cat sprang out from behind a fern, and trotted towards him. Before Sootpaw could object, she and Chillpaw had touched noses. The two toms faded from view and disappeared. Above Sootpaw's head, the storm clouds began to fade, but she made no attempt to replace them with her own._

"_What was that?" she asked Moonpaw, and saw that the black apprentice's eyes were wide, mirroring her own fear. "He actually looked angry."_

"_You should go," Moonpaw mewed. "Wake up. Return to your friends."_

"_But—" Sootpaw started to say, only to flinch as the dream came crashing down around her ears._

Her eyes snapped open, and she drew in a sharp breath. It took her a moment to remember that she was sleeping next to Sage; his thick tail was pressing up against her nose, making it difficult to breathe. She drew away from him and swiped a paw over her nose, taking a moment to look up at the night sky. It was clear, without any of the dark clouds that Chillpaw had conjured up in his anger. She shivered, remembering the menacing way his icy eyes had glittered. Swiftshade had been about to say something important, something that he wasn't supposed to give away.

_But what? _She wondered, blinking up at the stars, watching how their jewel-light twinkling paled in comparison to the round, waxing moon. Her eyes traced its craters and cracks, and she felt a wave of homesickness wash over her. Back in the forest, a Gathering was only a few days away. Would her brother be going? Would she have been, if she had stayed?

_I wonder how the Clan is holding up, _she thought, feeling worry prick her stomach. _Hopefully no more of them have fallen ill…maybe the snowberry plant will have helped them._

She looked down at Sage, noting his serene expression, how his nose twitched faintly as he slept. No nightmares haunted him, no dead cats requested his aid. She felt a stab of jealousy, before she shook herself.

_I'm only being foolish, _she said, but even her mental reprimand couldn't extinguish the embers of envy that were being kindled in her heart.

She rose to her paws, suddenly eager to get away from the sleeping cats that surrounded her. As soon as she pulled away from Sage's warmth, the chill of the night air hit her. She sucked in a sharp breath, but didn't retreat back to his warm pelt. He had Bluepaw on his other side, so hopefully the night's icy fingers wouldn't manage to pierce his thick fur.

Sootpaw's eyes narrowed as Bluepaw twitched in her sleep, and again she felt the anger that had been smoldering quietly for the past day flare up. She hadn't spoken a word to Bluepaw since the medicine apprentice's reveal of her 'gift.' Bluepaw seemed puzzled by her silence, but the blue-gay cat hadn't approached her about it.

They hadn't been able to cover much ground because of Bluepaw's twisted paw. Sage had offered to look at it again once they had settled down for the night, but the medicine apprentice had insisted that she could take care of it herself.

Sootpaw's eyes found the dark skin of the Thundertracks, and she felt a strange impatience move through her. She was tired of the group moving so slowly, picking their route with such care. She was tired of curling up in a strange place every night, and having long-dead cats cloud her dreams. She was tired of _waiting_, of hanging onto every line of Bluepaw's prophecy, of leaving all of her trust in Chillpaw, of allowing StarClan to taunt her with dreams of the past that she wasn't able to figure out.

The fire within her blazed up again, and without quite knowing why, she began walking forward, right on the edge of the Thundertracks, which had been dyed silver by the bold moonlight.

The feeling of the rough Thundertracks against her paws was almost comforting now, like her mother's rasping tongue dragging over her fur. The soothing light of the moon guided her on her path, and after a few moments of walking, she began to relax, although as soon as Bluepaw came into her mind, the anger leaped back up and she had to quell it again.

She was pulled out of her reverie by the sound of pawsteps. Turning, she saw a flicker of movement as a small shape ducked back into the brush. Her fur bristled, and she unsheathed her claws, tensing.

"Who's there?" she growled. "I saw you. Come out."

The bush rustled, but no one appeared. Sootpaw drew closer with caution, until she recognized the blue eyes blinking out at her from between the silver-drenched leaves.

"Why are you following me, Bluepaw?" she spat. "Get out of that bush. You look ridiculous."

Bluepaw looked startled, but she parted the branches with her paws and stepped out. One leaf managed to cling to her ear for a few brief moments, before she shook her head to rid herself of it.

"Are you angry with me, Sootpaw?" she asked, her voice low and meek.

"No," Sootpaw snapped, her ears flattening as her sharp tone revealed the lie. Bluepaw's eyes clouded with hurt.

"Why? What did I do?"

The gray apprentice stared at her with disbelief. Then, she snorted and turned away. _She knows exactly what she did! _Sootpaw thought, her fur still bristling.

"Sootpaw, please don't go! Just tell me what I did! I'll make it up to you, I promise!"

Bluepaw's heartbroken voice made Sootpaw pause. She looked over her shoulder, and saw the medicine apprentice's ears were flattened and her round blue eyes were dark with sorrow and confusion.

"You _lied_," Sootpaw hissed. "You took my dreams and used them for yourself, to make everything think that you're something you're not!"

Bluepaw's eyes widened. "Sootpaw, I didn't mean it for it to seem that way at all! I thought…I thought it would be better for everyone if I said I was having them…so maybe we could talk to the others and see what the dreams really mean! I didn't mean to steal anything from you….It's just that you seemed so burdened by them, and I knew that you didn't think you could figure out their meaning on your own. I was hoping that if we shared them with everyone else, we might be able to avoid more trouble, like with Nightingale on the Thundertracks."

The blue apprentice blinked at her earnestly. "Really, you have to believe me. I didn't do it to hurt you, Sootpaw. You're my best friend."

Sootpaw's eyes narrowed. "You certainly didn't look bothered when they were complimenting you on your 'gift.' Why should I believe you did it for my interests, instead of yours?"

Bluepaw looked hurt for a moment, before a bit of steel glimmered in her eyes. "You should believe me because I'm your friend, Sootpaw, and I have been for moons! I've always had your back. If I knew it would make you angry, I wouldn't have done it! You'll probably never tell me your dreams again now, and I'll just look pathetic when the Clan expects me to have some sort of huge insight on what's going to happen to us next."

"You have the prophecy from StarClan! You have more answers than I do."

Bluepaw's ears flattened, and she ducked her head. "The prophecy's just as confusing for me as it is for you. I don't have more answers than anyone else. The prophecy was the first time StarClan even spoke to me." Bitterness seeped into her voice, soaking into every word.

Sootpaw's ears pricked. "What? But you and Shimmerfrost went to the Pool of Stars moons before the prophecy came to you."

The medicine apprentice sighed. "Yes, but it was like I wasn't even there. I followed Shimmerfrost into her dreams, but StarClan was too busy to take notice of me. They were all wrapped up in _her, _her anger and feelings of betrayal. Shimmerfrost never forgave them for what they let happen to Silverstar. She insisted that StarClan should have warned us about Chillpaw, but they said that they weren't sure what choice he would make. Even he wasn't completely sure until he made his leap. And with everything that happened afterwards…Shimmerfrost has been doing her best to get back at StarClan."

The gray apprentice's pelt prickled uncomfortably – these were the secrets of medicine cats, not things she should be privy to – but she couldn't help prying further. "What did Shimmerfrost do?"

"She's been meeting toms," Bluepaw whispered. "PeakClan toms, on the border. Medicine cats aren't supposed to have mates or anything like that…she doesn't want a mate, though, she's just using them to get back at StarClan, to punish them for what happened to Silverstar. She won't listen to them when they try to speak to her in her dreams. She goes to the Pool of Stars, but she doesn't drink the water. I do everything I can to get them to talk to me, but they're only interested in reaching out to her…."

Sootpaw's anger melted away as she saw the utterly defeated expression on Bluepaw's face. She sighed, and shook her head.

"You should have told me what you were planning to do, Bluepaw. I just thought you were being selfish."

Shame burned in Bluepaw's eyes. "Well…maybe I was, a little bit…I just don't know why StarClan would trust you with these dreams, and not me."

"I don't know either," said Sootpaw. "I think you'd be better equipped to handle them than I am, to be honest. It doesn't really make sense to me…but it's okay, Bluepaw. I'm not mad."

Bluepaw smiled, but her eyes were still dark. "I'm glad. You're my best friend, Sootpaw. I wouldn't want to lose you."

"I guess it falls into line with the dreams, though," Sootpaw meowed. "There was that she-cat, Cloudpaw, who claimed to hear StarClan speaking about coming doom…I suppose you're supposed to be our Cloudpaw, speaking for StarClan and me to warn everyone of danger."

Bluepaw nodded. "I thought that too. I was worried they might not believe you, since you're not a medicine cat. If you want, though, we can tell them the truth…."

Sootpaw considered it for a moment, trying to picture everyone's reactions; many would be astonished, she was certain. Perhaps some, like Sage, would be in awe of a cat like her, a cat without any special training having such dreams. The thought made her smile, but her smile faded as she realized the responsibilities that would be weighing on her shoulders, the demand for more of her prophetic dreams that she couldn't control. And there were other dreams, too, dreams that she couldn't tell anyone about…everyone would be watching her, waiting for more dreams, and what if they realized that her dreams weren't only from StarClan? What if they sensed the darker cats hanging around her clouded mind?

"No," she decided. "You should keep pretending that they're yours. Like you said, you're a medicine cat…and if we changed the story now, they might become suspicious."

Bluepaw brightened. "Thank you, Sootpaw. This means a lot to me; I want to make my Clan proud, and StarClan too."

Sootpaw smiled, and for a moment it was just the two of them in the moonlight, as the last of her anger dissolved. Then, Bluepaw frowned, glancing towards the Thundertracks. Her gaze followed their black, winding path. "What are you doing out here, anyway? You weren't going to run away, were you?"

Sootpaw's whiskers twitched. "No. I just needed some space. It just feels like we aren't getting anywhere, you know? This journey has been dragging on and on, and it seems like there's no end in sight…I wish we could just find what we need and get on with it."

"I know how you feel," Bluepaw mewed, and gave her sore paw a lick. "I'd like to be home too. But sometimes there are greater plans, you know? Maybe there's a reason we're all out here and everyone else is at home. Maybe someone bigger than us has a plan."

She shot Sootpaw a look as she spoke, but the gray apprentice couldn't read her expression. Her eyes were still dark, which was strange for the usually cheery medicine apprentice.

_Has StarClan really shown her more than she's letting on? _Sootpaw wondered. _Is something going to happen back home?_

Dread settled into her stomach like a heavy stone, and she reflexively looked up at the moon. The twinkling of the stars seemed colder to her now, more foreboding than comforting.

_If StarClan's always watching over us, why do so many terrible things happen? _She found herself wondering. _Why did Rainwind have to die? Why did Silverstar have to get sick? Why did Swiftshade have to give into his sister's ambition? Why did Chillpaw have to lose the only father he ever had?_

She felt the tiniest bubbling up of anger inside of her, before Bluepaw distracted her by taking a limping step forward. Sootpaw turned and followed Bluepaw's line of sight, blinking with confusion as she saw the small, round shapes lying atop the Thundertracks ahead of them.

"What are those?" Sootpaw asked as Bluepaw took another step towards them. The medicine apprentice didn't answer, and as the two of them drew closer, Sootpaw saw there were far more than just a few round shapes. As they drew nearer, Sootpaw was astonished to see a carpet of small, round objects covered the Thundertracks, glowing bright silver in the light of the moon.

"Berries," Bluepaw said, reaching out with one paw to touch them. Her touch send a few rolling, which in turn jostled the others, sending a rippling motion over the dark tracks. Bluepaw blinked, then grinned at Sootpaw in sudden excitement. "The sea of blue, from the prophecy! That's it!"

Sootpaw's heart leaped, and she bent down until her nose grazed one of the berries. In her shadow, she could see that the berries were indeed a dark blue-gray, much like Bluepaw's fur.

"I've seen these before," she said, touching the berries and rolling one underneath her paw. "There are several bushes full of them in our forest."

"Yup," Bluepaw said, surveying the area around them; both sides of the Thundertracks were adorned with thick, spiky-leaved bushes. "Juniper berries. They help give a cat strength, and ease their breathing…good for the heart, too. They must be to help the effects of the foxglove; too much can cause a cat's heart to fail."

"But this is just another plant that we could have gotten back home," Sootpaw mewed, her momentary elation fading. "There's nothing really special about juniper berries."

Bluepaw didn't seem bothered. "Still, that means there's only one more herb to go, and then we can all go home. I can't wait to see Spiderpaw again."

Sootpaw shot the medicine apprentice a glance, and thought she detected a hint of heat underneath her blue-gray fur. Sootpaw's whiskers twitched in amusement.

"We should get back, I guess," Sootpaw said. "It'll be dawn soon, and everyone will want to get moving again."

Bluepaw squished one of the berries playfully, then nodded. "Okay. Do you mind if I lean on you? My paw's still sore."

Sootpaw rolled her eyes. "Whatever, furball."

Bluepaw rested her head on Sootpaw's shoulder with a contented sigh, and the two of them began the long walk back to camp.

_Well done, _a voice murmured in Sootpaw's mind. She went rigid as she recognized it: it was the voice of Chillpaw. She stopped, and looked over her shoulder, half expecting to see the white tom's ghostly form.

_Ssh, relax, _the voice ordered. _Wipe that expression from your face. Bluepaw's staring._

Sootpaw realized he was correct; Bluepaw was blinking at her with a puzzled expression. Sootpaw feigned a smile.

"Sorry, I'm just tired," she lied, and faked a yawn.

"If you say so," Bluepaw said, still looking curious. They began walking again, somewhat unsteadily because of Bluepaw's limping gait.

_Is that you, Chillpaw? _Sootpaw asked, trying to reach out with her mind.

_Yes. I'm only here for a moment, though. I just wanted to alert you that your next meeting will be with Dapplefern. We won't have enough time tonight, unfortunately, but it will be coming soon._

_How are you here, in my head? I saw you melt away. You can't access my memories, can you? Can you read my thoughts?_

Her heart began pumping furiously as all sorts of embarrassing thoughts ran through her mind. She heard Chillpaw's quiet chuckle.

_No. Your thoughts are safe, unless you actually want me to look. I don't really care about them, to be honest. I'm only here to observe._

_Observe what?_

_You forget things too easily. _He sounded faintly amused. _In order to hear the story of each character, you must first show some sort of characteristic that is the opposite of whatever the fault was of the cat. For example, you showed determination when you joined the journey, and thus you heard Swiftshade's story._

_Why do we have to do that?_

_It's part of the ceremony, _he answered. _It will make more sense in time. It's the traits that are important. Don't worry, they're fairly minor. For example, you earned Shrew's story by sharing prey with Swanpaw. By no means do you have to be a perfect pinnacle of virtue._

_Are you saying I can't be? _She teased. _I think I'm pretty awesome._

_No, you don't, _he said offhandedly. _But that doesn't matter either. I just wanted to let you know that you'll be hearing from Dapplefern._

Her ears flattened. _Is she going to appear in my head too?_

_No. I'm only using Moonpaw. She communicates this way from time to time, correct?_

Sootpaw nodded as she remembered when Moonpaw had talked to her in the tunnels. _Yes…but she's a part of me. You're not._

_Moonpaw acts as a link between you and the Dark Forest. Using her, I can enter your mind for brief periods of time. _

_Why me? _She asked. _I'm sure other cats have imaginary friends too. What makes Moonpaw so special?_

Chillpaw's reply was a long time coming, and she was almost afraid that he was already gone.

_It has a lot to do with your heritage, _he said finally. _There are some pieces I cannot yet explain, but one is because of your mother. A long time ago, StarClan hoped that she would be a medicine cat._

Sootpaw nodded, remembering how Ravenwing had been a medicine apprentice before she had chosen Eaglestrike over the chaste life of a healer. _Yes. Ravenwing's told us about that before._

_Yes…Ravenwing. Anyway, your mother had a heightened sense of spirituality, which is why StarClan was hopeful. Ultimately, her path led her elsewhere. You inherited that sense from her, which makes you easier for cats like me to contact you. I inherited my abilities from my father as well._

Sootpaw blinked, trying to remember what she had heard about Ashstir, the father of Shimmerfrost and Chillpaw. _Ashstir can contact those of his bloodline, right? Anyone that was related to him or that was related to those he was close to, like Silverstar and Northstar?_

_Exactly._

_So how can you contact me, if your powers are like his?_

Chillpaw was quiet again for a long time. They were nearly back to camp now, and Sootpaw was ready to collapse back next to Sage, this time with Bluepaw on her other side.

_It's complex, _he answered. _I promise you'll understand more later. I have to go now. Communicating like this is taxing, since I have to try and keep my focus in the Dark Forest as well. We're still on the move._

_Okay…good night, I guess?_

His voice was amused once more, as he said, _It's always night here._

She waited for more from him, but heard nothing else, and after awhile she finally concluded that he was gone. She let out a quiet breath as they entered camp and padded silently to where Sage still slept. Sootpaw sandwiched herself between Bluepaw and Sage, and closed her eyes. Her mind was abuzz with new possibilities and questions, but she forced her breathing to slow down, and managed to lull herself into a fitful sleep.

. . .

They took the group to the berries the next morning. Thistlethorn seemed dubious; he rolled a few with his nose, before looking to Bluepaw.

"It falls in line with the prophecy, but juniper berries are nothing special," he growled. "I hope StarClan isn't going to send us on a wild goose chase."

"We would never have thought of mixing foxglove and juniper on our own," Bluepaw mewed. "Foxglove is too dangerous to use most of the time anyway, but juniper helps give a cat strength enough to beat the harmful effects. I'm sure the third herb will be something we wouldn't normally use too."

"But why didn't StarClan just tell us what we needed?" Thistlethorn lashed his tail back and forth. "I should be back home, with my mother. She needs me."

"I'm sure it's all part of StarClan's plan," Reedrush said soothingly.

"Besides, without this journey, we wouldn't have Rook or Nightingale traveling with us!" Bluepaw chirped.

Thistlethorn glanced towards the two rogues, who were hovering near the edge of the Thundertracks. "That would be a real shame," he said dryly.

"Do you know where we're going next?" Rabbitleap asked Bluepaw. The medicine cat cocked her head to the side as if trying to remember.

"I think the Thundertracks eventually come near the Thunderpath again. When they do, we should rejoin the path," Bluepaw answered.

"How far west do you think we'll end up, out of curiosity?" Reedrush asked.

Bluepaw shrugged. "I'm not sure, really. Pretty far, though, I think. It just depends on how far away the third ingredient is."

Reedrush nodded, and Sootpaw thought she saw her green eyes flicker before the she-cat looked away.

_What's she looking for in the west? _She wondered. _Is she hoping to run into Bullet?_

"What's the hold-up?" Rook called. "Are you done sniffin' them berries yet?"

"We'll take some of them with us," Sage said, laying down the little packet of leaves which contained several foxglove seeds. He rolled a few of the blue-gray berries into the packet, before picking it up again.

"Let's go, then, no reason to waste more time. We'll know when we get closer to the Thunderpath," said Thistlethorn, before he flicked his tail and started walking. The others followed, taking care to avoid stepping on and squishing any of the fat, round berries. The prickly leaves brushed against Sootpaw's fur, making her think almost nostalgically of the thick brambles in AshClan's territory.

She glanced to her right and saw that Bluepaw and Sage were speaking to each other quietly. She allowed herself to drift nearer to hear their conversation, noticing how Bluepaw's eyes were glowing with mischief.

"Well?" she insisted. "Are you ever going to tell us your little theory about Rabbitleap?"

"Perhaps you should figure it out for yourself," Sage said, his voice muffled by the leaves. "You're a healer in training, after all."

Bluepaw frowned at him and nipped his ear. Sage nudged her with his shoulder, sending her staggering a few paces. Sootpaw considered joining in on the budding play-fight, but realized with a touch of envy that the two of them seemed to be having enough fun without her. Her gaze flicked instead to Rook and Nightingale, who were traveling in silence, as always.

"Hey," she meowed as she fell into step with Nightingale. Nightingale signed that she was having a good morning, although Sootpaw could tell she was still a little shaken from her encounter with the speeding Twolegs on the Thundertracks.

"What about you?" she asked Rook, when he remained silent. The thick-furred tom gave a shrug of his shoulders.

"It's alright, I guess," he growled. "This is all more moving than we're really used to. We stayed in Adder's territory for quite awhile."

Sootpaw blinked as something occurred to her. "Did you have cats move through that territory often?"

"A few, here 'n' there. Why?"

"Was there ever a tom named Bullet? He was blue-gray, kind of—"

"Yeah, I 'member him," Rook interrupted. "Quiet feller. Wasn't no trouble. We were gonna block 'im, but Adder seemed to know 'im. Told us to let 'im through, so of course we did."

Her ears pricked. "Adder knew him? How?"

Rook shrugged. "The feller seemed…I dunno, well-traveled. Couldn't place his accent, I ain't never heard it in the city. He had the look of a wanderer to him. Scruffy fur, dark eyes, a sort of swagger to his step. But he was quiet-like, never said much even when we jumped 'im like we did you guys. Didn't say much to Adder, either, just kinda nodded. I'd almost say Adder was a little way o' him, but Adder wasn't scared of nobody."

Sootpaw mulled over the information for a minute, laughing quietly as she realized that 'scruffy fur, dark eyes, a sort of swagger to his step' described Rook fairly well also. Bullet was obviously the same cat that Reedrush was looking for, but Sootpaw couldn't figure out why Reedrush wanted to find the tom in the first place. It clearly had something to do with Jaggedclaw – she knew he was secretive, and Reedrush was always worried for him – but couldn't place the connection between Jaggedclaw and Bullet. If Bullet was blue-gray, it was unlikely that he was Jaggedclaw's father or relative of any kind. Even if he was well-traveled, it seemed unlikely that the two of them would have met up at any point.

_Then again, I don't know much about Jaggedclaw's past either, _she mused. _Even Reedrush doesn't. I wonder how much he's told Spiderpaw? I'm sure Spiderpaw wants to learn from him…but he's crippled, so I guess that's unlikely…._

"Do you know where he was going?" she inquired. Rook tilted his head, trying to remember. Nightingale frowned, thinking as well, before her blue eyes lit up. She signed something to Rook, and he nodded.

"That's right. Back to his roots, he said. Adder seemed to know what that meant."

_The same thing he told Natasha…although she had no clue what it meant, _Sootpaw realized. _Perhaps his roots are tangled up with Jaggedclaw's, somehow._

Nightingale was signing something else, and Rook frowned.

"Right. He was askin' Adder about a cat, too. Someone named Jag. Wanted to know if he had passed through the area. Adder didn't know."

"He did, I think," Sootpaw meowed. "Jag – Jaggedclaw, now – and Reedrush walked along the Thunderpath together, to the lake. I guess Adder didn't have control of the territory then."

Rook nodded. "Yeah. I think it was granted to him by Carmelo, from the city. Carmelo's been pushing cats out of Twolegplace for moons now. That's partially why we left. We wanted to nab a sweet spot out here before everythin' was taken. Didn't work too well, though." He shot a glare in Sage's direction, and Sootpaw's whiskers twitched as she remembered how indignant the ex-kittypet had been about being defeated by a healer.

"Do you know why he was looking for Jag?" she asked. Rook shook his head.

"Nah. Adder didn't know who he was, so Bullet dropped it. I was kinda hopin' he'd stick around, but he left pretty quick. Obviously had places to be."

"I wonder if we'll catch up to him," Sootpaw meowed, trying to conjure up the blue-gray tom in her mind. In her imagination, his eyes were amber, sort of like Thistlethorn's, only dark and haunted.

Rook snorted again, and this time his disdain was directed towards Bluepaw. "Not with her leg like that. We'll be lucky if we're home before next leaf-bare swings around."

"So, you've never been to our forest and you're already calling it your home?" Sootpaw teased.

Nightingale signed something else, then winked at Rook and nuzzled his shoulder. The brown let out an embarrassed huff.

"What did she say?" Sootpaw asked, and Rook shook his head. Sootpaw prodded his shoulder with her paw. "Come on, let it out. Don't tell me the big, tough rogue who survived a house fire is actually _embarrassed _about something!"

"She said…we're home as long as we're together," Rook mumbled, and Sootpaw let out a delighted purr.

"That's adorable," she mewed, and Nightingale beamed.

"Oh, shut up!" Rook snapped, puffing up with indignation. He stalked away, muttering something about she-cats under his breath, while Sootpaw giggled. Nightingale's mouth was open as if she was laughing as well, but no sound escaped her jaws.

Sootpaw's merriment quickly faded, and her mind focused back on Bullet. She burned with curiosity about the tom and his past, and how it was connected to Jaggedclaw.

_Can't you just make it easy on me just this once, and send it in a dream? _She asked StarClan. _That would be the only dream that I'd actually want to have._

Of course she received no reply, and she sighed. _Figures. The only dead cat that actually talks to me when I ask it just _has _to be from the Dark Forest. At least he's attentive. And, I have to admit, he's not _always _terrible. Just most of the time. _She smiled to herself.

_If the journey doesn't lead us to Bullet, I think Reedrush will probably try to pursue him…and I'll go with her. I'm curious too, of course, but I think she needs someone with her that understands, who won't judge. After what I've seen and heard in the Dark Forest, I'm not sure I could ever judge cats like Reedrush again. I suppose I should thank my stars that things haven't turned out _worse _for me, like they did for Swiftshade or Shrew or Chillpaw…they all had hard times growing up. All I have to deal with are potentially evil cats assaulting my dreams. _She chuckled.

_Really, though, it's not such a hard burden to bear. Bluepaw would give her pelt for something like this. I'll let her keep the credit for the dreams, for now. She needs it more than me._

She realized that she had fallen behind the rest of the group while she thought. She broke into a gentle lope until she was on Nightingale's heels once more, as the little group of ragtag travelers continued the serpentine path of the Thundertracks.

**AN: So late, I know, I know. I'm sorry! Seniors are just so busy this time of year. Bluh. Anyways, I'm graduating in approximately five hours…so I guess that's something.**

**Blog update might be a few hours coming, I'm gonna be busy.**


	46. C h a p t e r 45

**C **_**h a p t e r **_**45**

Spiderpaw picked up the squirrel from the fresh-kill pile, his mouth filling up with water at the musky smell of his prey. He turned, looking for someone to share it with. He didn't know where Blackfeather was – he hadn't seen her all day, and was under the impression that she might be avoided him – but did manage to spot Petalcloud. Thinking that sharing the prey with his mentor might give him the opportunity to inquire about Blackfeather's location, he started towards her.

"No," Petalcloud said firmly as he neared her. "Go and put that back, Spiderpaw. You haven't been on a patrol all day, and the fresh-kill pile is running low."

His eyes narrowed. "I'm hungry," he growled around the squirrel in his jaws.

"Then you can come on a hunting patrol with me," she mewed. "We'll take Leopardpaw with us."

Spiderpaw rolled his eyes, but padded back to the fresh-kill pile and deposited the squirrel where he had found it. The pile _was _rather low, but his stomach was gurgling impatiently, and for a moment he almost considered eating the fuzzy-tailed rodent anyway.

"Come on, little Spiderkit!" he heard Leopardpaw call. His fur bristled, but he forced it to flatten. He had to give the golden she-cat the benefit of the doubt now, even when she did manage to crawl under his skin.

"Coming," he growled, turning back to find Petalcloud and Leopardpaw already heading for the camp's entrance. He broke into a gentle lope, following them into the forest.

"Shall we try fishing?" Leopardpaw purred as she twitched her tail over the leaf-covered ground. Petalcloud frowned.

"It seems a little too cold for that," she observed. "It is leaf-bare, after all."

"Yes, but it's a rather warm day, don't you think?" Leopardpaw asked, tilting her dappled face up towards the sunlight that streamed down through the barren branches. Spiderpaw copied her, blinking up at the sky, noting how it was devoid of clouds. It _was _rather warm for leaf-bare, which he was grateful for; he was tired of freezing his whiskers off, but it was more than that. Often the chill creeping through his pelt made him worry about Sootpaw. Was she safe? Was she warm? Were she and the rest of the journeying party able to find shelter during the harsh nights?

"Try to keep up, Spiderkit," Leopardpaw called, and Spiderpaw realized he had been left behind once more. He hurried after them, mentally rolling his eyes as he saw they were heading towards PeakClan's territory, and the river. Leopardpaw still wasn't keen on taking the advice of others, it seemed.

As they drew closer, something nibbled at Spiderpaw's mind. He frowned, trying to place his paw on what was bothering him. Something wasn't right on the breeze; he tilted his head back and opened his mouth, sifting through the scents of the forest, trying to place what didn't belong. It took him a moment to notice that there wasn't an extra scent in the air; rather, one was lacking.

"PeakClan's scent is rather weak," he observed, as the fast-flowing river came into their view, its tumultuous white waters frothing against the rocks.

Petalcloud nodded, looking troubled. "It's well past the time for a dawn patrol. I wonder what they're doing?"

Leopardpaw was peering into the water. "There are some active fish here. If we can catch two or three, that might be all we need for the patrol."

Spiderpaw gazed over the river, searching for movement on PeakClan's side of the forest, but could see nothing other than the swaying of branches in the wind. The various rocky formations of the territory rose before him like gray-white guardians, concealing whatever activities that PeakClan was performing from view.

"Why didn't the dawn patrol notice that their scent was so weak?" he asked.

Petalcloud shrugged. "Our dawn patrol doesn't always leave precisely _at _dawn, and neither does PeakClan's. I'm sure they just assumed that PeakClan's would come afterwards. Obviously, however, they have not."

Leopardpaw didn't look away from the fish. "We're not going to _investigate, _are we?" she asked, her voice dripping with distaste.

"No, not yet," Petalcloud mewed. "If they haven't gone by before the dusk patrol, I'm sure whoever is on that patrol will tell Eaglestrike. There's no need to be hasty about it. For now, we can just fish. However, I think we should continue up to the Black Stream. The water is slower there, so it's safer."

Leopardpaw frowned. "I'm fine here."

"No, I don't want you fishing here, Leopardpaw. Frostfeather's told me that you're very good at it, and I don't doubt your skills, but we shouldn't take the risk of you falling in. That would be very dangerous during leaf-bare, even though today isn't quite as chilly as most." Petalcloud's voice was firm, and although Leopardpaw rolled her eyes, she still rose to her paws and followed Petalcloud and Spiderpaw into the brambles.

. . .

"Now, Spiderpaw, I know we've had a fishing lesson before," Petalcloud's eyes were twinkling at him as she paused, and he knew that she was remembering his first catch, after the two of them had struck up their truce, "but how much do you actually remember?"

"Fishing's not all that hard," Spiderpaw said, reciting what he could remember from the lesson. "You've just got to step lightly, so you don't spook them, and make sure your shadow doesn't go over the water until you've struck. Also, if they're in deep water, you probably won't be fast enough to catch them."

Petalcloud nodded, and opened her mouth to give a few more tips, only to close it as she saw Leopardpaw was not paying attention; the golden she-cat was staring over the gently flowing water of the Black Stream, her tail twitching in anticipation. Normally the water would be shrouded in shadow, dappled in a few places by spots of light, but because the branches surrounding it were barren, the entire stream glowed and sparkled with the icy light of leaf-bare.

_That will make keeping my shadow unnoticed that much harder, _he mused.

"Well, it looks like Leopardpaw knows what she's doing." Petalcloud still sounded faintly amused. "You two fish for awhile. I'm going to swing by the Thunderpath and make sure there aren't any fishy scents hanging around – pardon the pun."

She winked at him, her honey-toned eyes glowing, before springing over the stream and trotting up the slope to the tarry path. Spiderpaw looked to Leopardpaw, but she was crouched over the water, her claws hooked on the very edge of the bank, poised as though she was about to spring into the icy creek.

Spiderpaw drew his eyes away from her and into the water. Usually it was black because of the mud and shadows of the trees – hence the name – but because of the bright sunlight, it was easy to see the glint of scales just underneath the surface.

Spiderpaw reached out with one paw, it's shadow no more than a small stripe over the stream, waiting until a fish moved into his reach. He struck, plunging his paw into the water, but the chill seeping into his paw managed to surprise him, and he drew back with a hiss and a shiver. He found Leopardpaw smirking at him, her usual arrogance flitting over her features before it was replaced by concentration as her own sleek paw dipped into the water. Unlike him, her strike was fruitful, as she flipped a fish onto the bank.

The white-bellied fish flailed and flapped, trying to return to its aquatic home, but its clumsy efforts posed no obstacle to the dappled she-cat. She killed it with a single bite and set it off to the side, giving Spiderpaw another smug look in the process.

The fur on his shoulders ruffled, but he flattened it, biting back several clever remarks.

"Nice catch," was all he said, and to his surprise, Leopardpaw chuckled.

"It's eating you up inside, isn't it?" she purred. "Being nice just isn't your thing, little Spiderkit. Go ahead, let it out. You hate me."

"I don't _hate _you," he growled. "I just…dislike you, for the moment. Stop calling me Spiderkit."

"Oh, you _dislike _me." She twisted the word, making it sound silly and childish. "Well, pardon me. I suppose I should be trying harder. Don't worry, I'll do something to get under your pelt later today to make up for that whole rescuing thing. Then you can hate me again, no problem."

He tilted his head to the side. "About that whole 'rescuing thing.' Why did you do it? You don't like me much either, if I can recall. Not only did I show you up in sparring, but I was responsible for Blackpaw taking you down as well. Why would you stick out your neck for me?"

She seemed surprised that his reaction was curiosity rather than anger, and her green eyes flickered with irritation as he brought up her various defeats.

"Entirely selfish reasons, I assure you," she replied with a haughty toss of her head. "Being ostracized by the Clan isn't as much fun as you would think. It's boring. You can't really mess with anyone if they're only ignoring you."

_That's not the only reason, _Spiderpaw thought, feeling faintly amused himself. _I'll let her hide her reasoning, though, for the moment. It's not so important right now anyway._

"Whatever," he said. "Whether we like each other or not, though, I do mean what I said the other day, back in camp. Do you want to spar later today?"

She seemed caught off guard by the offer. "Oh, but you know all my tricks already, don't you? Blackfeather seems to, at least."

He chuckled. "Blackfeather sized you up better than I did, I'm afraid. Her trick surprised me too, initially. She's cleverer than she lets on. But yes, I'd still like to spar with you. Like it or not, you've got more experience than I do, and you're clever too. You're the most interesting opponent I could hope to find, aside from perhaps Fireblaze, but sparring with him isn't all that pleasant."

She snorted. "Fireblaze has no imagination. I'm the only apprentice that's a _challenge. _But sure, if you're willing to get your tail kicked again, we can go at it today. Are you going to bring Blackfeather and Blizzardpaw with you? I'm not sure you'll do well without a little cheering squad egging you on."

His whiskers twitched. "I haven't seen Blackfeather today, honestly."

Leopardpaw laughed. "Still haven't made up with her, eh? Well, asking her to come watch you spar with someone as pretty as me certainly won't make her feel better, so don't do that."

He frowned, feeling puzzled. "Why not? Blackfeather seems to enjoy being invited to activities."

The golden she-cat rolled her eyes. "Oh, you really are hopeless, aren't you? Battles of any kind – even sparring between Clanmates – are energy-charged events. There are plenty of, ah, emotions that surface between sparring partners…a lot of energy is released…certain _feelings _have a tendency to rise to the top. In some places – like Twolegplace – mates often develop interest in each other from a friendly scuffle that turns into something…more." She cocked her head to the side, her disconcertingly green eyes fixed on him. "Don't you ever feel that rush?"

Spiderpaw thought back to his various spars, and his face heated as he remembered his last spar with Blackpaw before she had become a warrior, the prickling that had ran through his pelt as he marveled at her speed and elegance, the way she had licked his muzzle before darting into the night.

Leopardpaw's grin widened. "Ah, so you do know. Well, little Spiderkit, think about our spars. We both tend to get a little carried away, and I won't lie, I find them to be breath-taking when you don't have your head up your tail. Now, do you really want her to see you like _that, _all tied up with me and focused on the energy and thrill of battle? Blackfeather's pretty and all, but so am I – a different kind of pretty, of course, there are plenty of kinds – and she's not really the confident type. It'll hurt her to watch us rolling around, even though I'm fairly certain that I mean very little to you."

His ears flattened. "Blackfeather's not like _that. _I mean, we…we aren't…she doesn't _fancy _me, if that's what you're trying to say."

Leopardpaw let out an exasperated huff and rolled her eyes. "Whatever. All I'm trying to say is that inviting her would be a _very very bad idea, _got it? If you want her to be happy with you again, do something nice for her, something that appeals to all her squishy, soft, feminine tastes." She wrinkled her nose as if the idea of being a delicate she-cat was repugnant to her, and Spiderpaw had to smile to himself.

_There are different kinds of pretty, _he admitted to himself. _I don't really like Leopardpaw all that much, but I have to admit she's pretty, in a sort of feral way. Blackfeather, on the other paw…she's softer, more delicate, like a feather on the breeze…._

His face heated up again, and he rubbed his nose with one paw while ducking his head to disguise his embarrassment.

He heard another splash as Leopardpaw managed to fish out another flopping creature, and he shook himself, realizing that he had to at least manage to catch something before Petalcloud returned.

"Why are you helping me out with this too?" he asked, focusing his eyes on the stream. "I mean, if you don't like me, wouldn't you rather see me fail?"

"I find drama to be boring, if I'm not causing it," she replied. "Where's the fun in watching stupid toms stumbling over their paws? And messing with Blackfeather is no fun at all. She has more of a spine than she used to, but she's still likely to crumple like a wet leaf under pressure."

He felt a prickle of irritation as he reached out, readying himself for another strike. "She's not that soft."

"I think we've already established that I know her better than you do," Leopardpaw replied. The amusement was absent from her voice now, replaced with her usual casual disinterest. "But think what you like. No skin off my nose."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her tilt her head to watch him.

"Your form's sloppy," she said. "Lift your paw up a bit there. Angle it so you cut through the water. Now steady yourself, lean forward a bit for more power. There, that one's drifting close. Wait 'til it moves into your shadow. Right—"

Spiderpaw's paw slashed through the water with little more than a ripple, and his eyes widened as he felt a scaly body move underneath his paws. Quickly, he hooked its belly with his claw, and flipped it into the air, rearing onto his hind paws to snag it before it hit the ground. He killed it with a quick bite, before looking back to Leopardpaw, who was no longer paying him any attention.

"Well, I'm back," Petalcloud purred, trotting down the grassy slope towards them. "Nothing strange going on here, although I headed near the tunnel just to make sure. How are you two doing? Three fish, huh? Not bad."

She sprang over the stream nimbly, coming to survey their catches. "Both of decent size, too. That's good. We can start heading back now, if you're through. I'm sure you're hungry."

She bent down to carry one of Leopardpaw's fish. The golden apprentice picked up the second, and strode forward without a glance back at the calico warrior. Petalcloud shot Spiderpaw a glance, and he merely shrugged, before the two of them continued on to camp.

. . .

Leopardpaw wasn't there when they arrived, but the fish she had carried was already in Fireblaze's jaws as he padded to the edge of camp to eat. Spiderpaw spotted Blackfeather waiting for the ginger tom, but he couldn't get her attention.

"I'm going to share mine with Jaggedclaw," he said, and Petalcloud dipped her head before setting the second of Leopardpaw's fish on the fresh-kill pile.

Spiderpaw trotted towards the elders den, and was relieved to see that Jaggedclaw was already outside, resting in the sunlight. His head was on his paws, and Spiderpaw wondered if he was dozing, but his head rose as the black tom approached.

"Hungry?" Spiderpaw asked, setting the fish down in front of him. Jaggedclaw sniffed it, and wrinkled his nose.

"I'm not a fan of them either, but they're easier to catch than forest prey," Spiderpaw said, and took a bite.

"I suppose so," the scarred tom rumbled, ripping a chunk of flesh from the fish's body. "Are you intending to train again today?"

Spiderpaw nodded. "If you're not tired."

"No. It's been awhile since we trained, and I've had nothing to do but rest."

"I'm sure you could go out into the forest on your own. You're getting stronger every day."

Jaggedclaw snorted. "And if my shoulder gave out while I was in the forest? What then? Besides, Silverstar would worry if she knew I was out on my own, and I don't intent to have anyone following me to make sure I don't get hurt. Anyway, I think our training will be different today."

Spiderpaw's ears pricked. "How so?"

"Thus far I've allowed you and Leopardpaw to fling yourselves at one another with little direction," he growled. "It's time I gave you some structure. Otherwise, the only opponent you are learning how to beat will be Leopardpaw, and while she is strong, hopefully you will never face her in a real battle."

Spiderpaw's pelt tingled with excitement at the idea of learning real techniques from the older tom. "Sounds good to me."

Jaggedclaw grunted, and the two of them finished off the fish before Jaggedclaw heaved himself to his paws and headed towards the camp entrance. Spiderpaw paused again, making sure that Leopardpaw wasn't in camp. He assumed she had gone to the Moss Clearing before them, and shrugged to himself as he followed the scarred tom.

Jaggedclaw coughed as they pushed through the brush. The first one was quiet, but the second was much louder, and sounded as though it was being pulled out from deep within his chest. Spiderpaw looked to the tom in alarm as Jaggedclaw stopped to take in a breath.

"Are you alright?"

"Don't," Jaggedclaw growled. Spiderpaw darted in front of him, cutting off his path.

"Really, Jaggedclaw, are you okay? That sounded serious. If you're getting sick—"

"Leave it. I mean it, Spiderpaw. Don't poke your nose where it doesn't belong. If I am sick, it won't matter whether I rest or not. We don't have the cure yet. I can either spend my days working to help the Clan, or I can lie around with Jaypaw and Silverstar for company."

The tom's single amber eye was stony as he stared down at Spiderpaw. "Don't stir up a fuss over me. Let's go."

He pushed past Spiderpaw, leaving the black apprentice staring after the scarred warrior in confusion. Apprehension crawled in his stomach, and his ears flattened.

_How long as he been coughing? _He wondered. _How long as he been hiding it, because he doesn't want to feel useless…? If I could at least convince him to eat a snowberry, then maybe…._

Despite his worry, he felt a surge of admiration for the older tom as he limped through the brush. Jaggedclaw wasn't like the other warriors; he was dark, he had a gritty touch to him, he was closed-off and secretive, but despite all of this he still cared for his Clan. Any cat that was able to suffer in silence for the better of the Clan was worthy of Spiderpaw's respect.

"Not a word," Jaggedclaw murmured to him as they entered the Moss Clearing. As expected, Leopardpaw was waiting for them. She was lying down, but rose to her paws as they approached, her tail twitching in anticipation. She crouched, ready to strike, only to blink as Jaggedclaw sat down in the center of the clearing, rather than his usual spot off to the side.

"We're doing something different today," he informed the golden she-cat. "You'll be sparring according to my instructions. Spiderpaw needs to learn how to face bigger opponents."

Leopardpaw flicked her ear at him. "What's that supposed to mean, mmm?"

Jaggedclaw ignored her, glancing back at Spiderpaw. "Are you ready?"

He dipped his head, shifting into a defensive stance. "Ready."

Jaggedclaw tilted his head back to Leopardpaw. "Rush him."

She frowned. "Just head-on? That seems a bit…tactless."

"Larger cats aren't fond of tact," he growled. "Most of the time they'll depend on their strength rather than any skill. Cats like Northstar are the exception, but they're few and far between. Just do it."

Leopardpaw shrugged. "Whatever."

She waited a moment, her tail flicking from side to side, before she lunged at Spiderpaw. Her golden paws darted over the moss as she charged at him, and Spiderpaw only had a few seconds to duck to the side. She reached out with one paw, trying to swipe his side, but he managed to jump out of the way.

Leopardpaw spun around to face him, before looking to Jaggedclaw, who was frowning.

"Leopardpaw's not much larger than you," he said. "She's good for training against cats your own size or slightly larger, but for someone that would really be a pawful for you, you should ask a larger cat to help. Fireblaze, perhaps."

Leopardpaw snorted. "Oh, I would _love _to see you two duke it out. Ask him, won't you? And tell me when you two decide to go for it, I would really like to watch."

Spiderpaw's tail flicked with irritation. "Whatever. I'm not going to get him now."

Jaggedclaw shrugged. "Fine. Leopardpaw should be large enough to suffice for this session, anyway. Now, Leopardpaw, this time try to pin him down."

"My pleasure," Leopardpaw purred, crouching once more. "Ready, Spiderkit?"

She didn't allow him the time for a retort as she dove forward, angling right before abruptly changing direction and darting to the left, swiping at his legs with her paw. The move caught him off balance, and he stumbled, but regained his footing in time to dodge her next leap.

Leopardpaw whirled around to face him, grinning. "Quit trying to get away, Spiderkit. Clearly the point of this is to see how you can escape my grasp once I've caught you, not to see how long you can run away."

"I'm not going to make it easy for her," he retorted with a grin, before lunging at her. To his surprise, she reared onto her back paws and flung him away with her forepaws, sending him tumbling to the ground. She was on him in an instant, grinding his nose into the dirt.

He squirmed underneath of her, then went limp.

"Giving up so soon?" Leopardpaw's breath was hot on his ear as she laughed.

"You wish," he spat back, before kicking at her paws with his back legs. She staggered to the side, and he managed to wiggle partway out of her grip before her claws caught his flank and pinned him down once more. Ignoring the pain, he twisted in her grasp and buffeted her muzzle and face with his paws, forcing her to release.

"On her back, now!" Jaggedclaw barked, and Spiderpaw obeyed without thinking, leaping onto Leopardpaw's back and digging in with his claws.

Leopardpaw twisted to snap at him, but saw that she couldn't reach anything of importance. Spiderpaw bit down on her ear, and she let out a hiss of pain, before throwing herself to the ground and rolling. Spiderpaw had been expecting her to rear onto her hind paws first, so she could use gravity and her own weight to crush him, so her quick move took him by surprise. His face was pressed into her pelt as she rolled over him. He knew the move was causing her pain as well – her shoulder had hit the ground before she had been able to roll – but she continued the move, rolling the other way and crushing him against her once more.

He kicked at her back, but she continued to press down on him. Her fur was in his nose and mouth, and he found himself unable to draw a clean breath. His struggles weakened as he fought for air, and Leopardpaw finally sat up, leaving him on the ground. The moss was flattened all around him from her efforts. He drew in a shaky breath, taking a moment to rest before he stood. Leopardpaw seemed winded as well, but triumphant.

Jaggedclaw's expression was unreadable. "Passable. Leopardpaw, you shouldn't have let down your guard when he went limp. Pride is a flaw of yours as it is for most large cats as well. Your move against his grip on your back was clever, but it damaged both of you. In a real battle, it would have been risky to exert so much energy on one opponent."

He looked to Spiderpaw. "You had her ear, and you should have used it. The face in general is very sensitive, and if you control it, you control the movements of the cat. If you had jerked her ear in the opposite direction of where she was trying to hit the ground, she would have been forced to abandon her move, leaving you still on her back."

"Right," Spiderpaw panted. "What next?"

Jaggedclaw frowned. "There is no 'next.' Try it again until you can escape from her without sustaining such injuries and using up so much energy. Leopardpaw, go ahead and pin him down. Lie down on your back, Spiderpaw."

Spiderpaw growled, hating the idea of submitting to Leopardpaw, but he did as Jaggedclaw said. Leopardpaw stepped up and pinned him down, placing one paw on either side of his chest.

"Begin," Jaggedclaw ordered, and immediately Spiderpaw lashed out at Leopardpaw's stomach. She grimaced as he winded her, but in return kicked down at his own stomach. Gravity was on her side, and her attack left him winded.

"Stop. Let him breath."

Leopardpaw stepped off, and Spiderpaw rolled onto his side, struggling to catch his breath through the pain in his stomach.

"Don't challenge her to a fight you can't win like that," Jaggedclaw meowed. "Your opponent will almost certainly be stronger than you, and if they have you pinned, their blows will be more forceful because they are coming down on you. Try again."

Leopardpaw took her spot once more, waiting for Jaggedclaw's signal before her claws pricked his fur.

This time, Spiderpaw twisted around and sunk his teeth into Leopardpaw's leg. She yelped with surprise and tried to draw back, but he had a firm hold on her. Using her other paw, she hurled blow after blow at his face, but couldn't force him to release her. Remembering what Jaggedclaw had said before about control, Spiderpaw twisted his head to the side, twisting Leopardpaw's paw towards the ground. She had to move to the side to compensate to ensure that her leg didn't break, freeing up his side. Continuing the twist, he kicked up at her again, for she was now off to his right side. As his kick made contact, he released her paw. Leopardpaw tumbled to the side, having already been off balance, and Spiderpaw was able to scramble to his paws.

Knowing Jaggedclaw would be angry if he tried to pin down a larger opponent, Spiderpaw sprang onto her for only a minute, raking his paws down her side and stomach, before springing away and out of her grasp. His claws were sheathed, but it was obvious that if they hadn't been, the injuries Leopardpaw would have received would have been deep.

"That's fine," Jaggedclaw meowed, as Leopardpaw regained her footing. "Using her paw to control her was good, Spiderpaw. If her claws had been unsheathed, your face would have been badly injured, so if you're going to use that move in the future, be faster about it. Don't be afraid to be confident. Your moves have to be decisive, without hesitation, or your opponent will see what you're up to before you complete them.

"Now, do it again, and be quick about it this time."

. . .

By the time their session ended, both apprentices were exhausted, and Jaggedclaw still didn't seem satisfied. It wasn't until Spiderpaw nearly collapsed after managing to throw Leopardpaw off for the umpteenth time that the scarred tom finally allowed them to go. Leopardpaw strode away and seemed to be heading to camp for once, probably to rest up. Spiderpaw waited for Jaggedclaw to stand, before the two of them headed back to camp together.

"Don't you think you should at least get a snowberry?" Spiderpaw asked.

"PeakClan attacked us for them. The Gathering's coming, and if it comes to blows – which I suspect it will – every snowberry will be precious," the tom replied. "The Clan doesn't need to waste one on me. After our training sessions are through, I'll be useless again."

"I don't think Reedrush will see it that way, if she comes back and you're…not here," Spiderpaw meowed, his voice soft. Jaggedclaw's eye clouded over.

"You remember what I told you, about Myrtle and Destiny?" he asked, is voice gruff.

"Of course. Why?"

"Just hold onto it," he replied, dodging the question.

"So I can tell Reedrush when she comes back?" Spiderpaw asked, a note of challenge in his voice. "Save it, Jaggedclaw. You're going to be here when she returns, and you can tell her everything yourself."

"Just hold onto it," Jaggedclaw repeated, his voice lower than before, more defeated.

They entered camp, and without another word, Jaggedclaw headed to the elders den. Spiderpaw watched him go, wishing he could convince the scarred tom otherwise.

"Hey, Spiderpaw! How'd it go?"

He turned to find Blizzardpaw trotting up to him, with a bright smile on his face.

"Leopardpaw just came in, and she looked really tired. Jaggedclaw's a grueling mentor, huh?"

Spiderpaw nodded. "You could say that."

"Too grueling for you to train with me tonight?" Blizzardpaw asked, his voice dropping to a whisper as he glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching them.

Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched with amusement. "I don't think so. It's long overdue, really. We'll meet in the Moss Clearing, alright?"

Blizzardpaw grinned. "Excellent! I'll go tell Blackfeather, she's hanging around here somewhere."

"That's alright, I can tell her—" Spiderpaw started to see, but Blizzardpaw had already dashed off. His ears flattened, and he let out a quiet sigh.

_I haven't talked to her all day, _he thought, feeling a twinge of guilt. _Ah, well. We'll speak tonight. Until then, I suppose I should get some rest._

He ducked into the apprentice den, blinking as he saw that Leopardpaw was already curled up in her nest. _When was the last time that she was actually here before me? _

He lied down in his own nest, curling up until his nose touched his tail, and closed his eyes.

"What do you have to rest up for?" Leopardpaw murmured. Spiderpaw cracked open one eye to blink at her.

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

"Uh huh. I thought you and Blackfeather were finished training…unless you're going to do something else to make her like you again." Leopardpaw wiggled her whiskers suggestively, her green eyes twinkling at him.

He let out a low huff. "We're not doing anything. If you must know, she and I are going to be training Blizzardpaw tonight."

"Ah, that's right, his assessment is coming up soon, no?" Leopardpaw tilted her head to the side. "Is your Daddy not doing a good enough job, or what?"

Spiderpaw bristled. "He's just got a lot to deal with. He has to keep the Clan together against the sickness, PeakClan, and now these rogues. He doesn't always have time to train Blizzardpaw."

"Don't be so _sensitive, _Spiderkit, I'm only yanking your tail," she purred. "Your Daddy is _lovely. _He'll make a fabulous leader once Silverstar finally gives up the charade."

He rose to his paws, letting out a quiet growl. "What are you trying to say?"

Her whiskers twitched. "Good to know that despite the whole 'proud to call you my Clanmate thing' I can still enrage you. Glad I haven't lost my edge. You've got to stop letting everything bother you so much, Spiderkit, or you'll have some sort of attack before you and Blackfeather get your first litter. Go to sleep."

Spiderpaw's claws dug into the sandy floor of the den, but Leopardpaw had already closed her eyes, unafraid of his anger. He let out a hiss of frustration and curled back up in his nest. It wasn't until Leopardpaw began to snore that he realized he should have asked her what _she _was resting up for.

. . .

Blizzardpaw's cold nose jolted him awake. The tom blinked down at him with bright blue eyes. "Are you ready?"

Spiderpaw rubbed his eyes with one paw. He felt as though he had just closed his eyes for a moment, but the shining moon told him it had actually been hours.

"Go ahead and go to the clearing," he said. "I've got something I need to check first."

Blizzardpaw gave him a quick nod, before slipping out of the den silently. Spiderpaw glanced towards Leopardpaw's den, and was relieved to find that she was still asleep, at least for now. He swept his gaze over the rest of the den, checking that the other apprentices were slumbering as well, before exiting the den.

He paused again in the entrance to make sure there were no guards or cats in camp. There were not, so he proceeded to the medicine den, creeping into the den's entrance as silently as he could.

_Got to see how many snowberries are left, _he thought, his eyes flicking over the sleeping shapes. He let out a low hiss as he realized Shimmerfrost was gone.

_I wonder who she's with tonight, _he thought, gritting his teeth. _Still, it's for the best. She'd probably be sleeping right on top of the berries, if she was here._

He took a step inside, freezing as Silverstar coughed in her sleep, before continuing to creep forward. Luckily, Shimmerfrost was very organized, for an icy, uncaring medicine cat that was seeing PeakClan toms on the side. All the berries were grouped together, and it was easy to tell the pale snowberries apart from the others.

_Not many here, _he thought, feeling a touch of anxiety. _I don't know how many Silverstar and Jaypaw are supposed to be getting each day…but there aren't enough to last long, that's for sure. If we do fight PeakClan over them, and lose…._

"Blackfeather?"

Spiderpaw spun around, every hair on his pelt standing up. Amber eyes glowed in the darkness, staring at him, blurred by sleep.

"Jaypaw?" Spiderpaw asked, taking a cautious step forward.

Jaypaw rubbed his eyes and blinked. "Oh, Spiderpaw. Hello. I thought you were Blackfeather."

Spiderpaw frowned. "Why would Blackfeather be in here?"

"She comes and visits me sometimes, in the night, when Shimmerfrost isn't around," Jaypaw mewed. He sounded sleepy, and there was a slight rasp to his voice. "Robinpaw visits me now and then, but not as much. It's lonely in here, most of the time. What are you doing?"

"Er…just looking for Shimmerfrost," he lied.

"Okay," Jaypaw mumbled, sounding as though he was about to fall asleep again. His head dropped onto his paws. "Sorry."

Spiderpaw's ears pricked. "For what?"

"I know I was kind of a jerk, before I got sick and everything," the gray apprentice yawned. "I just worry about Robinpaw a lot…but I know you two are friends now. That's good. Family shouldn't fight."

"I would have done the same thing if you'd said anything about Sootpaw that was even close to what I said about Robinpaw," Spiderpaw said, feeling a bit of pity for the sickly tom. "You don't have to apologize."

Jaypaw made a quiet purring noise that devolved into a gentle snore. Spiderpaw exited the den as quietly as he could, not wanting to disturb any of the invalids further.

The camp was cool and silent as he left it behind, entering the shadow-cloaked forest. Dry branches scraped together above his head as an icy breeze tore through the forest, ruffling his fur and making him want to return to his warm nest. The moonlight shone down, harsh and bright rather than its usual soft silver.

_Three nights from now, it'll be the Gathering, _he thought, craning his neck back to look up at the starry night sky. _I want to go this time…not just as an insolent kit that snuck along, but as a real apprentice, someone that the Clan is _proud _enough of to allow to come. I want Northstar to see me because I _want _him to, not just because he managed to spot a stowaway in the ferns._

His ears flattened. _I probably won't go, though…all of the apprentices have behaved themselves the past few moons, with the exception of Redpaw, and everyone knows how prickly I can be…it will probably just be Blizzardpaw and Robinpaw that go._

He stepped into the clearing, his eyes finding the bright shape of Blizzardpaw's pelt with ease. It took him a moment to spot Blackfeather; she was sitting very still, her eyes gleaming as she blinked at him.

"Hey," he said to them both as he approached. "We might as well get started right away, since your assessment is coming up. What is it that you really need help with?"

"A bit of everything," Blizzardpaw confessed. "I'm an okay hunter – tracking is kind of my specialty, but often I falter when it comes to leaps. As for fighting, I'm afraid that I'm just not very good at sparring with the other apprentices. It's difficult for me to strike my Clanmates, and although I'm fast, my hesitation often makes me pull my blows."

Spiderpaw shrugged. "That's easy enough to fix. Blackfeather can help you out with the hunting, but I guess we should start with the sparring first, since I think you'll have more trouble with that. Blackfeather, if you want you can be—"

He was cut off as an excited voice meowed, "Hey, guys!" from behind him. He turned to find Robinpaw smiling at them as she sat down, her injured leg sticking just a hair off to the side.

"What are you doing here?" Blizzardpaw asked, sounding surprised. "I didn't tell her we were meeting tonight, Spiderpaw, I promise."

Robinpaw stuck her tongue out at him. "I'm the one who managed to convince him to do this, mousebrain. I should at least get to watch. Besides, I'm here to give you moral support!" She beamed at him.

Blizzardpaw shot Spiderpaw a glance, seeming faintly embarrassed, but also pleased. "Well, we can't really send her back home…."

"She can watch, I guess," Spiderpaw said, but he was frowning. He had been planning on letting Blizzardpaw begin sparring with Blackfeather, hoping that the opportunity would act as a silent apology from him. Now, though, he was remembering what Leopardpaw had said about she-cats disliking watching the tom they fancied sparring with another she-cat. Robinpaw and Blizzardpaw had some sort of 'thing' going on – that much was obvious.

_Best not to take the chance, _he thought, and flicked his tail to Blackfeather. "You can sit by Robinpaw, if you want. I'll start us off."

Blackfeather's golden eyes flashed with hurt, but she didn't say anything as she stalked away to sit beside the ginger apprentice. Robinpaw didn't seem to notice how disgruntled the black she-cat was; her glowing green eyes were focused on Blizzardpaw.

Spiderpaw felt a pang of guilt, but pushed it away to focus on Blizzardpaw. He took a few steps back to create space between them, before falling into a fighting stance.

"Now, I think your opponent will be Redpaw, when you spar for your assessment," he said. "Redpaw's younger and hasn't been challenged to a competition before, so he's a likely choice. However, Redpaw's strong and trains quite often with Fireblaze, so he'll be tough to beat. You've got to give it your all if you're going to fight him."

Blizzardpaw nodded, and Spiderpaw flicked his tail. "Attack me."

Blizzardpaw's eyes narrowed with determination as he sized Spiderpaw up, before darting to the right. Spiderpaw copied him, moving to the right as well before darting left as Blizzardpaw changed direction. He jumped into the air as Blizzardpaw rushed towards him, soaring over the white cat and landing neatly on his paws.

"You're fast, but your eyes give your movements away," he said. "Don't look where you're going to attack, or Redpaw will know exactly where you're trying to go."

Without warning, he lunged forwards, paws outstretched. He caught Blizzardpaw in the chest, and managed to tumble the white tom head over paws. Knowing that Redpaw would use his strength to his advantage, Spiderpaw attempted to pin Blizzardpaw down, pressing his legs to the ground with one paw and propping the other on the white apprentice's shoulder.

Blizzardpaw squirmed beneath him, but Spiderpaw's grip was firm. He stopped fighting, then sighed.

"I think that would be the fastest loss in assessment history," he meowed, twisting his head to blink up at Spiderpaw.

Spiderpaw nodded. "Yeah, because you gave up. Here's something I learned today: grab my paw in your mouth."

Blizzardpaw seemed dubious. "Biting is against the rules."

"Only if its deep, and it doesn't have to be. Besides, Redpaw won't complain, it would be embarrassing for him. Just do it."

Blizzardpaw still seemed skeptical, but he obediently reached around for the paw that Spiderpaw had on his shoulders.

"Now, pull it to the right," Spiderpaw ordered. Blizzardpaw jerked his head, and Spiderpaw winced as the white tom's teeth grazed his skin. Since he couldn't pull his paw out of Blizzardpaw's mouth without more pain, he was forced to move to the left as well, freeing Blizzardpaw from his grip.

Blizzardpaw had reached as far as he could, and he released Spiderpaw to scramble to his paws, rolling to the left. Spiderpaw was off balance, and nearly fell over, but managed to reach out and grab Blizzardpaw's hindquarters with his paws. Blizzardpaw turned and swatted at Spiderpaw's face with his own paws, forcing him to release.

Spiderpaw took a step back. "See? That's one way to escape that sort of hold. You just can't be overly cautious. The last thing anyone wants is for you to fail your assessment because you're afraid of hurting your opponent. Redpaw's tough, he can take whatever you can dish out."

Blizzardpaw dipped his head, then crouched. "Are we going to try it again?"

Spiderpaw let out a low purr. "Of course. We're not going to be finished until you're ready to collapse."

Blizzardpaw's whiskers twitched. "I pity the apprentice that gets you for a mentor."

Spiderpaw laughed, then leaped at Blizzardpaw again, tackling him to the ground. Blizzardpaw kicked upwards, sending Spiderpaw flying. He landed to the ground in a heap, and was about to spring back up when his eyes met Blackfeather's. Her golden gaze pierced him like thorns, and for a moment he was frozen, until she looked away, turning her attention to Blizzardpaw. She bent down and murmured something in Robinpaw's ear, sending the ginger apprentice into a fit of giggles.

Spiderpaw felt a strange prickle of jealousy, before Blizzardpaw landed on him. Spiderpaw twisted his head to the side so he wouldn't suffocate in the thick moss. He turned his head to try and nip at Blizzardpaw, only to let out a hiss as the white tom's teeth clamped down on his ear, preventing the movement.

"Nice," he growled. "But not perfect."

He hooked his claws into the moss for traction, before giving his hind legs a quick jerk, twisting them underneath of him. Blizzardpaw was forced to shift his position to keep Spiderpaw pinned, and his concentration on holding Spiderpaw's ear lapsed. Spiderpaw jerked away and continued to twist until he could kick up at Blizzardpaw's stomach. The blow wasn't enough to send the white tom tumbling, but hit forced him to back away, and Spiderpaw scrambled to his paws.

"Good," Spiderpaw meowed. "Don't be afraid to get rough with Redpaw, because he'll do the same for you."

Blizzardpaw dipped his head, before looking to Blackfeather. "I hate to ask, but do you think we could do some leaping practice before the night is over?"

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed. Blizzardpaw needed the practice sparring, and he knew it, but he obviously felt sorry for Blackfeather, since she was just sitting around.

"Yeah, that's fine," Spiderpaw said. "Blackfeather, you can—"

"Come with me," Blackfeather mewed to Blizzardpaw, ignoring Spiderpaw entirely. Blizzardpaw shot Spiderpaw an apologetic glance, before following the black warrior into the brush. Robinpaw bounced behind them excitedly, chattering on about how well Blizzardpaw had done, leaving Spiderpaw alone in the clearing.

His ears flattened as another chilly breeze rustled through the now-silent clearing, making him shiver. _She is pretty mad, _he thought, _and I've just made it worse tonight._

_Perhaps I should take Leopardpaw's advice – for just this once – and do something for her. But what?_

He sighed, and shook his head ruefully. _There will be time for all that later. Right now, we have to prepare Blizzardpaw. Him becoming a warrior should be more important than whatever issues Blackfeather and I need to work out._

He padded in the direction of where they had disappeared from view, the dry ferns crackling against his muzzle as he passed through them. He snaked over the dark earth like a bird's shadow, as the heavy moon continued rising in the sky and the stars twinkled watchfully.

**AN: Early chapter, hooray! I've been writing like the dickens the last few days, it's lovely.**


	47. C h a p t e r 46

**C **_**h a p t e r **_**46**

"_Here he comes!" Moonpaw squeaked, bouncing forward with her usual brightness to greet the specter approaching them. She touched his nose, and Chillpaw's form became clear. To Sootpaw's surprise, two she-cats, not one, were with him._

_She glanced from Dapplefern to Nettlefrost, feeling a bit put out. _

"_I brought two," Chillpaw said, as the usual forest scene appeared around them. "Hope you don't mind."_

"_Am I talking to them both in one night?" she asked, her ears flattening. "I know I did the trait thing with Dapplefern, but…Nettlefrost?" _

_Chillpaw paused a moment, and tilted his head towards her. "Honestly, you've had hers all along. The one thing no one could call you is selfish. You're self-defeating, really, but that's not my problem. Listen to both of them, and then we'll leave. Simple as that. Now, I'm busy. Don't disturb me."_

_He stalked away, ducking under a low-hanging tree branch and disappearing from sight. Sootpaw blinked after him, somewhat surprised by his frosty demeanor. She knew he was usually rather brief, but leaving her with two Dark Forest cats and little to no explanation was a little cold-hearted._

_She turned back to the she-cats, anxiety crawling through her fur._

"_Oh, don't give me that look," Dapplefern snapped. "We're not going to hurt you, we've said that a hundred times. It wouldn't do us any good anyway. Just sit your tail down and listen, and we'll be done with this."_

"_I'll go first," Nettlefrost meowed, tilting her nose towards the sky in a haughty manner. "After all, unlike you, I managed to at least become deputy."_

_Dapplefern let out a hiss, her golden fur bristling. "Shut your trap, you stupid fleabag! I could have been deputy, but I didn't want to _scheme _and _connive _like you did. At least _I _have standards."_

_Nettlefrost's green eyes narrowed into slits, but she said nothing. Finally, she gave a disdainful flick of her tail. "That's quite alright, actually. We're in no rush, and I've waited this long. Besides, watching you make a dramatic fool of yourself is more to my taste, anyway."_

_Dapplefern's green eyes blazed with anger, and she rose to her paws, but Sootpaw quickly darted in between them._

"_Nettlefrost, do you think you could sit over there? Out of earshot?" Sootpaw pointed to one corner of the clearing._

_Nettlefrost didn't move, before she gave a silky shrug and strode to sit under the swaybacked branches._

_Dapplefern's claws dug into the moss, but she didn't charge after the white she-cat. Instead, she merely let out a huff and sat down, wrapping her tail around her dainty paws._

_Sootpaw waited a moment longer just in case either she-cat was planning something drastic, before sitting down as well, blinking at Dapplefern._

"_So, um, how do you want to do this?" she asked. "I can ask you some questions…or, um, change the scenery, if you'd like…."_

_Dapplefern snorted. "I don't need any of that stupidity, thank you. I don't see why I can't simply explain my side of the story, is all."_

_Sootpaw frowned. "I already know most of what you did. You went to Lion's side before the battle, and betrayed the Clans."_

_To her surprise, Dapplefern laughed. "Yes, I did. Oh, I wish I could have seen their idiotic faces. They never valued me as they should have, but Lion certainly did! The fools."_

"_So…you aren't going to try and justify what you did, at all…?"_

_Dapplefern rolled her eyes. "Oh, no. Not that stuff near the end, at least. Bah, I knew StarClan would get me for that. My actions don't fit into their pretty picture of perfection, I'm afraid. As soon as I left the Clan, I knew I'd end up here, or somewhere like it." Her tail lashed from side to side. "So yeah, all the stuff at the end was my fault. But the stuff leading up to it…well."_

_Sootpaw knew the dappled she-cat was baiting her, but she had no choice but to ask, "What stuff led up to you leaving the Clan?"_

_Dapplefern flashed her a quick grin. "Well. My kithood was pretty cushy, I suppose. Both my parents were fine, although they weren't the most attentive. I grew up alongside Rosekit – you know her now as Rosedapple. Such a disgustingly soft name…but proof that Lightstar was thinking of me when he named her, don't you think?"_

_She seemed to be waiting for Sootpaw to answer. "Um, maybe."_

_Dapplefern nodded. "Of course he was. Anyway, Rosekit and I were friends, and we stayed friends as we grew up. When we were apprentices, Lightheart become the deputy of PeakClan. All the warriors said it was only temporary, that he would never become leader, but we knew better. Lightheart was an amazing deputy…and I promised myself that someday he would be my mate." Dapplefern's eyes had taken on a dreamy look, but they hardened as she continued her tale._

"_Rosepaw said the same thing, that Lightheart liked me…but in the end, it was _her _that he fell for. Disgusting. You've never met Rosedapple, I'm sure, but if you had, you'd see why it was so wrong for them to be together. Rosedapple's pathetic. She's self-absorbed and cowardly and utterly despicable…but she was the Clan's darling. Everyone fawned over her. They were always talking about her fur or her hunting skills or her speed…it made me sick._

"_But I didn't say anything, not at first. I was a good friend. I held back. It wasn't until the Clan realized that Lightheart was mooning after her that I became angry._

"_There was a confrontation between us. She admitted she had feelings for him. She broke her promise, my trust, our friendship. And that was that. She got all fat with those stupid kits of hers, but he still loved her. It was so _repugnant, _but the Clan was happy for her."_

_She laughed quietly. "But I took care of that. I broke her. Lightheart had a history, you see. He was always tripping over his paws for she-cats. Everyone thought his love for Rosedapple was different, but I proved them wrong. It just took a little nudging with Graywing, our medicine cat – a moonlit night of hunting here, a shared swim there – and he tumbled head over paws for her, and she for him. And Rosedapple was left alone."_

_Dapplefern laughed again, more vigorously this time, and Sootpaw's ears flattened. _

"_Oh, she was miserable. She nearly offed herself, did you know that? But Northstar was there to stop her. So convenient. Oh, he was handsome, too. Had that whole 'dark and troubled' thing going for him. By that time, Lightstar was completely out of my reach, so I moved on. Northstar was the next best thing, really…but he scorned me too."_

_She bared her fangs at the memory. "Then he convinced Lightstar to give my apprentice away. That was the last straw. I snapped. PeakClan took _everything _away from me, and gave me nothing in return. Rosedapple was ruined, but so was I. There was nothing left there for me. So I left. I went to the side that valued me more. And then, during the battle, I came back for my final revenge."_

_She smiled again, her green eyes glinting. "I went up the Peak to find her, and kill her. And there she was, waiting for me. It was like fate. But Blackmoon was there too, and he interfered…well, you know it didn't end well for me, not at all. But in the end, I still won."_

_She purred to herself, flicking her tail from side to side. "Rosedapple's haunted by my death. She blames herself, as she should. She still remembers our friendship, the soft-hearted fool. So I guess being dead isn't as bad as I thought it would be, really, not so long as I can watch her toss and turn at night."_

_Sootpaw took a step back, sickened. Dapplefern noticed her discomfort, and snorted._

"_Yeah, little prissypaws, you think you're so fabulous, don't you? You have no idea what love feels like. None at all. You can't hope to understand until you figure that out. Isn't that right, Nettlefrost?"_

_The white she-cat's head turned towards them. "I apologize. I wasn't leaning to your insipid conversation. You were saying?"_

_Dapplefern let out a low hiss, but to Sootpaw's relief she didn't leap at Nettlefrost's throat. Instead, she turned her attention back to Sootpaw. "I'd say at least half of us winded up here because of some sort of love. Chillpaw had that thing with Lion, Swiftshade loved his sister, Brightstar loved whatever-his-name-was, I loved Lightstar, and Nettlefrost…well, she's about to tell you that stuff."_

_Dapplefern swatted her tail against Sootpaw's muzzle, and Sootpaw yelped, surprised by the sting in the blow. "So don't act like you're so high-and-mighty, got it? You don't know a thing. You can sit here and listen and pretend that you get where we're coming from, but you honestly have no idea."_

_Sootpaw shrank back, intimidated, but Dapplefern only gave a dismissive snort before looking away and rising to her paws._

"_I'll be hanging out over here," she said, stalking towards a clump of ferns. "Have fun pretending to understand Nettlefrost."_

_Sootpaw stood, wanting to go after the dappled she-cat, but unsure of what she would say. Dapplefern had a point – she didn't know where most of them were coming from, that was true – but at the same time, she didn't see how Dapplefern used such things as an excuse for her own behavior._

_She felt a tail brush her shoulder, and she turned to find Nettlefrost surveying her with cool eyes. To her surprise, the white she-cat smelled of sharp pine needles._

"_Dapplefern's a fool," Nettlefrost meowed, sitting down after she brushed the off the ground with her thick tail. "Take no heed of her. She's jealous of just about everything that moves."_

_Sootpaw swallowed. "So, um…how do you want to do this?"_

_Nettlefrost shrugged. "I see no reason why I can't tell my tale. It might be a bit lengthier than Dapplefern's, I'm not sure, but I can promise I will not deride you at the end."_

_Sootpaw nodded, and Nettlefrost flicked her tail once again over the ground, tilting her head back to survey the branches._

"_I lived in a forest much like this one," she said. "You and I have that in common. I did not have long with my parents before they were taken from me. Because of that, I grew up a little wild, I suppose. Robinflight, the deputy, did her best to look after me, but I was always terribly reckless._

"_My closest friend was named Eaglekit. He and I did everything together, and we terrorized the other queens and kits until we were made apprentices. We were the best of friends; we even had a secret place all our own, tucked away in an old fox's den. There were plotted and planned our way to the highest positions in the Clan."_

_Sootpaw's ears pricked, and Nettlefrost anticipated her question. "No, we had no malicious intent. Back then I was ambitious, yes, but I would never have attempted to harm my Clanmates. We merely wanted to stand out, to become warriors ahead of everyone else and claim glory for ourselves. Even back then, I wanted more than I could handle._

"_We risked our lives many times as apprentices. When kits from our Clan and ShadowClan were taken by a group of rogues, we teamed up with ShadowClan apprentices and reclaimed them, albeit nearly getting killed in the process. On another occasion, we attacked a dog that had entered our territory. We won, but not without earning scars._

"_We were named warriors early, as we had dreamed. I believe I was given the suffix of –frost in hopes that it would help temper me, for although I did have my moments of clarity, most of the time I was too consumed by passion to think clearly."_

_Sootpaw stared at the white she-cat, trying to imagine the chilly deputy as ever having been passionate. Even now, her words were sharp and to the point, detailing what must have been precious memories._

"_It worked, I suppose. After being named a warrior, some of my manic behavior ceased. I calmed. But I was still ambitious. Our leader was sickly, and had been for moons. Robinflight would become the leader, and I hoped she would choose me for her deputy, even though I had not had an apprentice – I had been her's, after all. Because of this hope, I turned down Eaglepaw when he confessed he had feelings for me, shortly before we became warriors. It hurt him deeply, but at the time I felt it was right; I could not imagine us having a future together, for if I was to become deputy, I would have to walk my path alone. No Clan wants a deputy who is burdened by kits._

"_But, over time, I realized that I still longed for Eagletalon. I couldn't let him go. Jealousy stuck in my coat like burrs whenever I saw him talking to another she-cat. So we became mates, but in secret. We were together only in our secret place, that musty old fox den. Soon after, I was seized again by the fear of losing my dreams of becoming deputy, and I broke it off with him again._

"_It didn't take me long to realize that I was with kits. I was stricken by fear; it was my worst nightmare come to life. I could never be a mother and deputy; my dream hinged on me being the only good candidate in the Clan, since even the warriors that had already mentored apprentices in the past weren't fit for the job. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't consult our medicine cat; he was only an apprentice, since our true medicine cat had died. The new one was only really an apprentice, who had spent only a few days with his mentor before she had passed away. Later this was to work to my advantage, for he didn't have the skill to see that I was carrying kits, but initially I was terrified._

"_There was no real alternative for me but to keep them. I hid the truth from Eagletalon and Robinflight. I was too terrified of how they would react. After a time, though, I became more hopeful. I imagined myself becoming deputy anyway; I thought that if I came clean to Robinflight, she might be able to appoint a temporary deputy once she became leader, and then have that deputy step down once I was able to take up the position. I decided to tell Eagletalon my secret before I spoke to her, though; his reaction was the most important, and I suppose I did feel a sense of duty towards him._

"_I never got the chance. I went to our fox den, hoping to meet him there, and found him with another she-cat. Her name was Maplepelt, a warrior who was several moons our junior. There was no mistaking that they were…together."_

_Nettlefrost closed her eyes for a moment. "I didn't know what to do. I fled, but my stomach was beginning to cramp. The kits had decided to come early – due to the stress, I imagine. I fled to the river, and tried to clear my mind. I went into the river, trying to cleanse myself of the confusion and pain. The river was freezing, and my head became remarkably clear."_

_A hard edge came into her voice. "Eagletalon was mine. The position of deputy was mine. Maplepelt was interfering with that. My kits were coming early, and they probably wouldn't survive. I decided to take advantage of that._

"_I went back to the fox den. Eagletalon and Maplepelt weren't there; I made a bit of noise earlier, so they had probably fled, fearing that they had been discovered. Maplepelt's fur was strewn everywhere inside. I collected as much of it as I could, before returning to the river. I kitted there, alone and in terrible pain. It was without a doubt the most painful experience I can recall, made doubly so with the sting of Eagletalon's betrayal._

"_Two of the kits were stillborn. I killed the third as gently as I could. Then, I made it look as though someone else had killed them. I made sure Maplepelt's fur was all over the area, and that my own was not. My scent was disguised for the most part, thanks to the river. _

"_I returned to camp, and waited. The next morning, the dawn patrol came back with terrible news. Someone – a rogue, they assumed – had kitted near Sunningrocks, and a ThunderClan warrior had murdered the kits in cold blood. Thanks to the fur, it wasn't hard to pin down their suspect. Maplepelt was shamed. I'm sure you know that one of the most important rules in the warrior code is that kits must be cared for, whether they are of your Clan or not. Maplepelt was very nearly exiled for her heinous crime; in the end, she fled, unable to bear the hatred of her Clanmates. Eagletalon was mine again._

"_Our leader died soon after. I was named deputy: Robinflight – who became Robinstar, of course - trusted me, and none of the other warriors had what it took. With the title and Eagletalon at my side, for a time I was satisfied."_

_Nettlefrost's green eyes took on a distant appearance. "But not for long, I'm afraid. My fire died along with my kits; after that, I lacked my burning ambition. I became the 'frost' that Robinstar had wanted. But it also made me merciless. Under my time as deputy, we took territory from the other three Clans. I pushed our boundaries like never before. I was never satisfied with what territory we claimed. I was always lusting after more._

"_I kept Eagletalon close to me. I couldn't trust him. As it turned out, he couldn't trust me either. I was with other toms – in secret, of course. Some of them were from other Clans, but I only used them to get information. I controlled them, as many as I could get my paws on. Before I died, I had my claws in every Clan. I was insatiable._

"_Eventually it was my downfall. I fell in battle to a tom that I had used. I died expecting stars and glory, but ended up here."_

_Her eyes were fixed on the sky, and Sootpaw's ears flattened._

"_You could have been a great warrior," she mewed, "but now every cat that heard of your noble deeds will know the dark ones, too. You'll never be remembered by ThunderClan as a loyal deputy. You're one of their regrets."_

_Nettlefrost's green eyes slid to her. "Do you think I don't know that? I gave everything I had to the Clan…my passion, my blood, my kits. I brought glory to ThunderClan, but it will always be tarnished by my memory. Do you think any cat wants to go down in history as a monster?" Her muzzle twisted. "Eagletalon stopped trusting me a few moons after I became deputy, when he saw the change in me. Robinstar turned away from me. I had no one else. I was alone in the position that I had always craved, but it was meaningless, meaningless…I fought for our territory and our power, thinking that I could win back my honor, but in the end I failed. I wasn't remembered as a fallen hero, just a stranger in the body of a cat that the Clan had once known. 'Nettlefrost' fit me more in death than in life."_

"_But if you were sent here…it means that even knowing all that, knowing exactly what went wrong, you felt no remorse," Sootpaw said. "How can that be?"_

"_I did the best I could with the life I was given," Nettlefrost snapped. "I've re-walked those paths in my mind a hundred times. There was no changing the outcome. Even if I had not gone through with my plan, I still would have lost my kits. I would have been dishonored within the Clan; everyone would have inevitably learned my secret. Eagletalon would have stayed with Maplepelt. I would never have become deputy, not when I had kept such a secret. My fate was sealed the moment Eagletalon brought that pile of foxdung into our secret place."_

"_Well…at least in your new life, you'll have a chance, right?" she asked. "You can use all of that ambition for good. You can protect your new Clan and fight for them…but don't let it get in the way of what you feel. If you had remained with Eagletalon, he might not have ever gone to Maplepelt. Everything would have been different."_

"_I'm not Swiftshade," she growled. "I don't want to lead a life devoid of ambition, of purpose. He let others use him in his past life. I don't intend to do the same."_

"_Of course not," Sootpaw said. "I'm not saying what he did was ideal either…but I think if you could somehow find balance between the two…have you ever talked to him? I know he protected you when those other cats attacked. Did you ever thank him? Maybe if you two talked, you could work together—"_

_Nettlefrost cut her off with a dismissive flick of her tail. "I did not need Swiftshade to protect me. I thanked him for his efforts, but we have not spoken further. We don't need to. I want nothing to do with him, after all of this is over. As for 'balance,' I think you've been speaking to Chillpaw for too long." Nettlefrost's green eyes were cool as she looked down her nose at Sootpaw._

"_Speaking of, you might as well go and get him," she continued. "I believe we are finished here, and I would rather return to the Dark Forest than linger here."_

_Sootpaw blinked. "The others found this place a little more…soothing than the Dark Forest."_

_Nettlefrost's eyes darkened. "Perhaps it is, for them. All it is for me is a reminder of what I have lost."_

"_Of what you'll soon regain," Sootpaw said softly. Nettlefrost seemed surprised, and Sootpaw saw she saw the faintest glimmer of something – pity? – in the depths of the deputy's green eyes, before Nettlefrost looked away._

"_Go and get him," she said again._

_Sootpaw hesitated, but figured that Nettlefrost was mostly right; there was no reason to sit around if Nettlefrost wasn't going to speak further, and she was quite certain she didn't want to hear more from Dapplefern. She rose to her paws, trotting towards where Chillpaw had disappeared. She paused, sniffing the air, but he had left no trace of scent behind._

I suppose he can control that, as part of the dream, _she mused. _That will make finding him more difficult…but if I had to guess, I'd say he's doing something with that pool of his. Hopefully nothing too dangerous.

_She glanced around the forest, trying to remember what direction Chillpaw had led her in before._

"_Moonpaw?" she called, and the black she-cat bounced out from behind one of the large oak trees._

"_Watcha need?" the black she-cat purred, her blue eyes twinkling._

"_I need to find Chillpaw," Sootpaw said. "Do you know where he is?"_

_Moonpaw frowned. "Maybe you shouldn't disturb him, if he's doing something important."_

"_Nettlefrost and Dapplefern want to go back, is all," Sootpaw said. "He can stay and finish what he's doing, if he likes…but honestly, I'm not sure I want them to stay. Nettlefrost is sort of okay, but Dapplefern…."_

_She shivered, and Moonpaw nosed her shoulder with sympathy._

"_He went that way," she said, pointing towards a trail of flattened grass. Sootpaw dipped her head to Moonpaw in gratitude, before trotting down the path._

_It didn't take her long to affirm that this was the same path that they had gone down before, when he had first shown her the pool, and then later when they had used it against Brightstar. Her ears flattened as she remembered Brightstar's reaction to her memories, and she felt a prickle of guilt._

_She stopped as she realized she was getting close, and began creeping down the path with more caution. Anxiety rippled over her pelt, and she realized she was actually scared of what she would find Chillpaw doing by himself. Even though sometimes it was hard for her to believe, he still was one of the Dark Forest cats, and he had committed murder. Not only that, but his flare of anger towards Swiftshade was making her more nervous about trusting him._

It's probably nothing, _she told herself, forcing herself to take a deep breath. _Besides, it's my dream. I can kick him out if I want.

_She wasn't so sure about that last part, but it was still enough to steady her nerves. She stepped forward, pushing through the ferns, and froze in horror._

_Chillpaw was crouched over the memory pool, his eyes closed and his face tense with concentration. A golden shape was hovering over the pool, a shimmering specter that grew larger with every passing moment. It was solidifying, shaping itself into the form a cat, a cat that Sootpaw had never seen in the flesh, but had heard of._

_The shape continued to grow more and more solid, until she could no longer see through it at all. She wanted to cry out, to warn Chillpaw of what he was created, but her words were caught in her throat._

_Then, the ghost's eyes snapped open, blazing a terrifying, rage-filled amber. Sootpaw stepped back, and let out a squeak. Chillpaw and the ghost – Lion – turned towards her in the same instant._

"_Sootpaw?" Chillpaw growled. "You shouldn't be here. Go—"_

_Before he could finish, the Lion-ghost suddenly sprang forward with a terrible growl that tore at Sootpaw's ears like claws. She was still frozen in place, unable to move as the huge shape leaped towards her, his thorn-sharp claws streaking towards her face._

"_No!"_

_Chillpaw moved too quickly for her to see; one moment he was by the pool, the next he was standing in between her and the ghost. An instant before Lion's paw came into contact with Chillpaw's white muzzle, he shattered, breaking apart into thousands of glittering shards before melting away into the air, as if he had never been there at all._

"_Chillpaw—" Sootpaw started, her fear being replaced by anger, but Chillpaw wasn't looking at her. He was staring at the ground, and she realized his shoulders were shaking._

"_I was so _close!_" he spat. "It was almost him, I could feel it!"_

_Sootpaw was surprised at the growl that tore out of her throat. "Chillpaw, what were you thinking? What was that supposed to be? Did you even consider how dangerous that just was? I mean, I don't even know what to _say_ right now! Is this what you've been doing the whole time?"_

"_I was just trying to see him again!" Chillpaw snapped at her, his burning with icy fire._

_Sootpaw was taken aback, but her anger didn't fade. "But that wasn't _him_, Chillpaw! No matter how much it might have looked like him, it wasn't the real Lion."_

"_I know that," Chillpaw spat, "but it was close, the closest I've come yet. I just have to keep working at it, and I'll be able to create a perfect copy. I know it won't be the real Lion. I don't have the power to raise the dead, at least not from where he's gone. I only wanted…."_

_The anger in his voice dyed as his blue eyes clouded over. He looked away from her, back towards the still pool. "I'm close. I _know _it."_

"_Chillpaw." Her voice softened as her brief anger faded, seeing how lost the white tom seemed. "Even if you could create what _seemed _like Lion, it wouldn't be the same. I know you have an eye for detail, but there were still things that you missed, somewhere. No one can know another cat completely. There are intricacies to everyone, details that no one could possibly know. And, even if you could, it's too dangerous. Lion was filled with rage. You can't unleash that here, not without risking my life and your fate."_

"_He won't be dangerous," Chillpaw said. "I can ease his rage. I can dampen it."_

"_Then he wouldn't be the Lion you knew," she mewed. "The Lion you knew was filled with anger and hatred. He wasn't sane. The reason he took you in was because he didn't have a complete grasp on reality. If you dampen that part of him, he won't be the Lion you…loved. I'm sorry, Chillpaw, but you can't do this. You can't bring him back, not even here."_

_Chillpaw's legs were trembling again. "Only for a moment," he said, and it sounded almost as though he was pleading with her. "Just for a moment. I only have one question for him. I have to know what he would have wanted me to do, if he was forced to choose…."_

_Sootpaw stepped towards him, pressing her nose against his shoulder. "Maybe I can help. I know you don't trust me like you did Lion, but if there's something I can do, I will."_

_Chillpaw didn't say anything, but he also didn't pull away. His body was warmer than she had expected, as it had been when the snow had fallen down upon them, and she had to resist the urge to press her face into his thick coat. She sat down instead, blinking at him patiently until he did the same._

"_I can't speak of this with you," he meowed, staring down at his paws. "It is not for you to know."_

"_But you do understand that you can't continue these experiments, right?" she asked, peering at him intently. "You can't keep trying to bring him back."_

"_I understand." He drew in a deep breath, and shook his head. "I've been foolish. I pride myself on my clarity, my foresight, but Lion…he had a way of blurring everything. I suppose he still does."_

_Sootpaw glanced towards the pool, remembering how her own memories had appeared so fuzzy, compared to Chillpaw's, which had been crystal clear._

"_When you pull up your memory of Lion in the pool, he's blurred, right?" she asked. "It's because you cared about him, Chillpaw. You loved him, and I'm sure he loved you. He was your father, more so than any other cat you had ever known. Of course he has a way of blurring everything for you too; that's how emotions are. They cloud the way we think, they muddy our decisions, they pull us in directions that we otherwise would not pursue. It's natural, and nothing that you should be ashamed of."_

_She nosed his shoulder again. "It might even mean you're the teensy bit normal."_

_His claws clutched the dirt. "My clarity is all that I have."_

_She felt another surge of pity. "Maybe it is right now, but it won't be soon. I heard Dapplefern and Nettlefrost's stories tonight. That means there's only two left…and you guys are close to the Pool, right? This will all be over soon, and you'll have your second chance."_

_His blue eyes were dark as he stared at her. "Yes. It's close. Therein lies my problem."_

_She knew she couldn't wheedle anything else out of him, not when he was in a cryptic mood._

"_Do you think I could see Swiftshade again?" she asked instead._

_Chillpaw's eyes narrowed. "No. Absolutely not."_

"_Why? What could he possibly have been about to say that was so terrible?"_

_Chillpaw shook his head. "It doesn't matter. He's not coming back. There's no reason for him to."_

"_But I'll still get to say goodbye, right?" she pressed. "At the ceremony, I mean? I can say goodbye to everyone before you all go into the Pool?"_

_He was staring at her again, his expression unreadable. She thought his eyes flickered briefly with some emotion that she couldn't quite place, before he looked away._

"_Yes," he said. "There will be time. If you want to."_

_Her tail twitched with irritation. "Am I ever going to get all my questions answered? It seems like you're always trying to hide the truth from me."_

"_There's no need to tell you," Chillpaw said. _

"_There's no reason why you can't. Why does everything have to be a secret? I'm not going to turn on you, Chillpaw. I'm committed to this. I promised that I would help you all, and I will. It seems the least you could do is tell me what's going to happen when we reach the end of all of this."_

_Chillpaw sighed. "Please, do not ask me further. There is nothing that I can tell you, and I am weary."_

_Sootpaw stared down at her paws, one white, one dark gray. Her ears flattened against her head. _Why does everything have to be a secret?

"_Do you at least know what will happen afterwards?" she asked._

_He nodded. "We will leap into the Pool, and cross over from the Dark Forest into life. Our souls will be pulled into a new body. We do not get a choice in the matter; it is destined."_

"_And then you get to grow up again," she said. "You get to try one more time."_

_He nodded, and she smiled, before blinking as something occurred to her._

"_Do you know what bodies will pull you?" she asked. "Where they are, I mean? Do you think everyone will go back to their old Clan?"_

_Chillpaw shrugged. "It seems logical, but nothing is certain. We'll have to wait and see."_

"_Well…if you do go to AshClan…I suppose we won't be friends anymore." She flushed underneath her fur. "You won't remember me at all."_

_He glanced towards her, looking faintly surprised. "Friends?"_

_She nodded. "Yeah, I think we are. I mean, we play together sometimes…and although I hate to admit it, you have been helpful with some things, like when I had to choose to go on the journey…I mean, if you don't think we're friends, then that's okay, but I thought…." She trailed off, feeling strangely shy._

_Chillpaw's gaze flicked up towards the clear sky. "It's best if we aren't."_

"_O-oh," she stammered, her stomach clenching as though he had just kicked her in the gut. "T-that's fine."_

_He tilted his head towards her. "Ah. I'd forgotten how quickly you take offense. No, I don't mean that in an insulting manner, only that when the ceremony is over…."_

"_Right," she mewed. "We won't know each other after that. But…don't you think you could remember? Don't you think it might be possible, for us to…?"_

"_I wouldn't advise it." His tone was curt. "It's best not to dwell on it, for now."_

_She sighed. "I know. I'm sorry. But…maybe in StarClan, if you regain your memories…do you think we could hang out? I'm not saying we'd have to be best friends, or anything, but maybe just from time to time, we could see each other…?"_

_His eyes clouded over. "I would like that, I think."_

_She smiled, and touched his shoulder with her nose, before standing. "We should get back to Nettlefrost and Dapplefern. I'm sure they're getting impatient."_

"_Dapplefern, perhaps. I'm not sure Nettlefrost knows what impatience feels like," Chillpaw said, rising to his paws._

_Sootpaw laughed, and he looked at her strangely. "Did I misspeak?"_

"_No, you just made a joke. Accidentally, I guess, but it still counts." She twitched her tail against his muzzle, before bouncing down the way they had come._

_Nettlefrost and Dapplefern were both standing when they returned to the clearing. Dapplefern's tail was twitching with irritation._

"_Not a word to either of them about Lion," he warned Sootpaw in a hushed tone, before calling, "Moonpaw!"_

_The black apprentice rolled out from beneath a fern, and scrambled to her paws. "Coming!"_

"_Bye," Sootpaw mewed to Nettlefrost and Dapplefern. Dapplefern ignored her, but Nettlefrost gave her a small nod before Chillpaw and Moonpaw's noses touched, and the three of them disappeared._

_The forest scene melted away as well, with Chillpaw's absence, leaving Sootpaw and Moonpaw in the creeping gray mist._

"_For a cat that claims not to feel emotions, he's so sad," Sootpaw murmured to Moonpaw. "I wish there was a way I could cheer him up."_

"_You could do some more snow-fighting?" Moonpaw suggested. "I thought that was pretty fun."_

_She rolled her eyes. "No, we can't do the same thing twice. That's not creative. Besides, last time that memory was based off of Lion. I don't want to remind him of everything he's lost."_

"_Then remind him of something he'll gain," Moonpaw said. "He'll be coming back to AshClan, won't he?"_

"_I don't know…I mean, it makes the most sense, for them to all return to their own Clans…so long as they're still there, I mean. I don't know if ThunderClan and WindClan and all those still exist."_

_Moonpaw shrugged. "Sounds plausible enough to me. So think of something in AshClan that you really like. What do you miss the most?"_

"_My family," Sootpaw sighed. "Spiderpaw, Ravenwing, Eaglestrike…but that won't help Chillpaw."_

"_Is there a place in AshClan territory that he liked?"_

_She sighed. "I just don't know. I don't think he liked being in AshClan very much, really."_

_Moonpaw's whiskers twitched. "I'm not sure you'll ever find anything that will make him happy."_

_Sootpaw shook her head. "No, there has to be a way. There has to be _some _place that he likes….Maybe the forest he creates each time he's here? Perhaps I could use parts of that…maybe I could make my own scene for him!"_

_Her yellow eyes lit up at the possibility. "I can create a place that's just his, and no one else's! Something that will always belong to him. And maybe if I teach him to make it, he'll be able to do it when he dreams for himself…and then maybe he can remember me, just a little bit." She flushed underneath her fur._

_Moonpaw's eyes lit up. "Oh. Ooooh. Oh. Do you like him, Sootpaw? Do you _like _him?" Her eyes twinkled merrily as she drew out the word 'like.'_

"_No!" Sootpaw exclaimed, nipping Moonpaw's ear. The black apprentice danced away, her sleek coat shimmering in the faint mist._

"_Sootpaw likes Chillpaw!" she yowled. "Sootpaw likes Chillpaw! Just wait until I tell him!"_

"_Moonpaw, no!" Sootpaw meowed. "I do not. Don't tell him, it'll freak him out."_

"_Sootpaw and Chillpaw, sitting in a tree," Moonpaw sang out._

"_Moonpaw!" Sootpaw let out a playful growl and sprang at her. The black apprentice spun to the side, waving her tail tauntingly in Sootpaw's face._

"_Catch me if you can!" Moonpaw purred, before dashing away. Sootpaw darted after her, not slowing as the mist gave way to their old meadow, with the familiar green sun shining over their heads. She wove her way through the blue flowers as Moonpaw raced in front of her, just far enough away that Sootpaw couldn't quite reach her._

_Letting out a huff, Sootpaw pushed herself, grunting with exertion as her paws flew over the earth. She threw herself into the air, and her front paws managed to grab onto Moonpaw's hindquarters, sending them both crashing down. A few stray blue butterflies swirled over their heads as they tumbled over one another, until they finally pulled away, both flat on their backs and panting with exhaustion._

"_Really, Moonpaw, please don't say anything," Sootpaw mewed between breaths. "He wouldn't know what to do, and it would just make him feel weird. I just want to do something nice for him, that's all."_

"_Just keep telling yourself that," Moonpaw laughed, tweaking her whiskers._

"_Shut up," Sootpaw giggled. "Don't make me hurt you, because I will."_

"_I'm quaking in my fur right now," Moonpaw grinned. "But don't worry, I won't way anything. I'll be watching, though, and if you don't make your move, I might make it for you." She winked._

_Sootpaw flushed under her fur again. "It's really not—"_

"_Sootpaw, I'm a part of you," Moonpaw purred. "You really can't lie to me. You suck at lying anyway."_

_Sootpaw swatted Moonpaw's muzzle playfully, before glancing up at the green sun. She remembered how when she was younger, it had been comforting because it reminded her of her mother's eyes. Now, though, it just made her feel homesick. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, the sun was its usual white-hot, natural color. She yawned, watching the blue butterflies swirling above her head, and let out a quiet sigh._

Tomorrow I can begin planning, _she mused, feeling weary. _Right now, though…I think I'd just like to relax, while I can. Just a few moments' respite from all the stress of this journey, and of the coming ceremony…just a moment to really _be._

_She closed her eyes, feeling the gentle, soothing heat of the sun on her face as the wind whistled through the flowers._

**AN: This chapter was finished a couple days ago, but I held back on publishing it; wouldn't want to spoil you guys too much, haha. Being on schedule feels awesome. :D**


	48. C h a p t e r  47

**C ****47**

He nosed her shoulder, gently at first, but more insistently when she didn't respond.

"Come on," he growled. "You woke me up at the crack of dawn, once. Why can't I do the same for you?"

"Because only a few hours ago, we were sparring with Blizzardpaw," she growled, cracking one golden eye open. "Or, rather, _you _were sparring, and I was just watching."

Spiderpaw flicked his ear. "Come on, just get up. If you don't come, I'll probably go alone and then get captured, and you all will have to rescue me again. Is that really what you want to spend your nights doing?"

She let out a quiet huff. "What are you talking about?"

Spiderpaw flicked his tail. "Just come with me, okay? It's about time you learned to break a rule or two." He gave her a smile, but she didn't return it.

Blackfeather rose to her paws and followed him out of the warrior's den, blinking up at the gray sky before following him out of camp.

The forest was eerily silent, just as it had been when she had taken him to see her special bird. His ears flattened as he recalled how pleased she had been to show him her secret treasure; the expression she was wearing now was grim.

They were approaching the PeakClan border, and Blackfeather seemed to be growing more uneasy.

"What exactly are you planning to do?" she asked, as the river came into view.

Spiderpaw opened his mouth to scent the air. "Do you smell PeakClan?"

Blackfeather frowned. "No, but that doesn't mean it's safe."

"But it _does _mean that they've been neglecting their border," Spiderpaw meowed, "and we're going to find out why."

Her eyes widened. "Are you going to sneak onto their territory? Spiderpaw, that's incredibly dangerous!"

"_Someone _has to find out what's going on," he meowed stubbornly. "Besides, it might be important at the next Gathering. AshClan needs to be informed. Now, I'm going whether you are or not…but I would appreciate your company."

He gave her another smile, but Blackfeather remained silent. Spiderpaw turned back towards the river, looking for the stepping stones. He spotted them a little further down than he remembered.

He looked over his shoulder at Blackfeather again, but she still hadn't moved. He almost considered turning back and abandoning the whole idea, but didn't want to lose face in front of her. Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself and leaped onto the first stone. It was more slippery under his paws than he had anticipated, and he nearly slid off, but regained his balance by hooking his claws into the few crevices on the otherwise smooth stone.

He glanced at the river, shivering as he remembered when he had nearly lost Sootpaw to the fast-flowing water.

_Taking a tumble in the middle of leafbare might be deadly in itself, even for an apprentice, _he mused, as he sized up the next leap. This stone was further away than the first had been, but it didn't seem too far away to be a challenge. He crouched, eyeballing the distance before leaping.

He landed smoothly on the rock, but this one was more slippery than the last. He began sliding forward, and despite using his claws to try and gain purchase on the slick surface, he realized he was about to tip head-first into the icy river.

Strong jaws suddenly jerked him back, and he found that Blackfeather had grabbed him. They were both balancing precariously on the same rock, so as soon as Spiderpaw had his footing he leaped onto the next rock.

"Thanks," he called to Blackfeather, but wasn't sure if she heard him over the rushing water. He hurried the rest of the way over, waiting for her to join him.

"I suppose I'm coming," she meowed as she reached the opposite bank, shaking her fur in an attempt to rid herself of some of the spray from the water hitting the rocks. "You'll get yourself killed without me."

Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched, but he didn't say anything, turning instead to look up at the Peak. He was too far away to make out much, so he flicked his tail to her and hurried towards the brush, where there would be more cover. The dew brushed over their fur, covering their scent, but both of them were cautious as they crept through the undergrowth.

Spiderpaw stopped, spotting movement on the Peak. He motioned for Blackfeather to halt as well, and she did, squinting up at the winding trail that led down from the top of the Peak. Two cats were making their way down, but Spiderpaw couldn't quite make them out.

"Blackmoon and Birdpaw," Blackfeather whispered. "They're carrying herbs, it looks like."

Spiderpaw's ears pricked. "Perhaps PeakClan was attacked?"

Blackfeather shook her head. "No…they're not just small packets, they're huge bundles of herbs! It looks like they're transporting their entire store…."

She and Spiderpaw exchanged glances, before they continued creeping forward, watching the two medicine cats making their way down.

"Where are they going?" Blackfeather whispered, as the two medicine cats paused at the foot of the Peak, glancing up at the top once last time before turning and heading south, the opposite direction of the river.

"Come on," Spiderpaw said, breaking into a gentle lope. Blackfeather matched him step for step, and the two of them continued deeper into PeakClan's territory, using the thick brush and odd stone formations for cover as they followed the two medicine cats.

Spiderpaw's ears pricked again as numerous scents reached his nose. It was obvious that other cats had walked the paths that Blackmoon and Birdpaw were now walking, wherever they were headed.

"Smell that?" Blackfeather murmured. "Milky scent, like kits…and many apprentices and warriors that I recognize, too."

There was something else on the breeze that troubled Spiderpaw, although he had trouble naming it at first. His eyes widened as he finally recognized the scent; he had smelled it during his several excursions to the medicine den.

"And sickness," he said, feeling a prickle of fear run over his pelt. What was PeakClan up to?

Sounds reached their ears, and Spiderpaw's eyes widened as he realized that the jumbled noises – the mewls of kits, the hushed voices of apprentices, the sounds of warriors sharing tongues – were the same as he might find back at his own camp.

The sources of the noises became apparent as they drew closer. Strange rock formations rose before them – large, rectangular white rocks, which were leaning on each other, all facing the same side – set into the side of a dried creek bed.

"The Fox Teeth," Blackfeather meowed, her eyes wide. "This is a hunting place for them, but…"

They crept as close as they dared, until they were able to see through the brush that in the gaps between the white rocks, cats had dug out dens. Several warriors were stretched out on the white rocks; apprentices sat off to one side, not tumbling or playing as apprentices often did. The mewls of kits were coming from another den; they saw a tortoiseshell queen duck inside, mewing to her kits in a hushed voice.

Birdpaw disappeared into one den with her herbs, but Blackmoon stopped to listen to Stonestar whisper something in his ear. Spiderpaw was shocked to see how unkempt the gray tom was; his fur was clumped and stuck together in paces, as if he had not groomed himself in some time, and his yellow eyes were dull.

Blackmoon looked no better; his usually sleek fur was dull, and his head was lowered slightly, as if with dejection. Once Stonestar dismissed him, he too disappeared into the den after Birdpaw, and did not reappear.

Spiderpaw looked to Blackfeather, and found his own confusion and horror in her eyes. Without a word, the two of them turned away from the dark camp, and fled.

. . .

"I don't understand, why would they leave their camp behind?" Spiderpaw asked as they padded back to their own, shaking his head.

"Things must be bad for them," Blackfeather said. "Unless there were just a lot of them checking out the new dens, their numbers have truly fallen. The sickness must be taking its toll."

Spiderpaw glanced over his shoulder at the Peak; rather than seeming like a symbol of power and dignity, it now seemed empty, lonely, deserted. He shivered.

"Perhaps they were just afraid of the air in camp," Blackfeather suggested. "Maybe a change will strength them. It should be free of the sickness there, right?"

"Not for long," he said grimly. "Unless…they just left all the sick cats behind."

Blackfeather's eyes widened with horror, but she quickly shook her head. "No, that's not possible. Stonestar's a good leader, he wouldn't let that happen."

"We never would have thought that PeakClan would leave their camp, either," Spiderpaw pointed out. "The chilling disease is changing things for everyone."

"But Blackmoon would never allow that to happen!" Blackfeather exclaimed. "He's a good cat, a kind cat. He could never turn his back on his Clanmates in such a manner."

_Unlike me, she's been to plenty of Gatherings and had time to mingle, _he thought. _I suppose she knows more about PeakClan than I do._

The sounds of camp were beginning to reach him, and his ears flattened as he thought of how similar they were to PeakClan's, and yet how different. The same elements were present – they had apprentices, they had warriors, they had their medicine cat working – but AshClan was _alive _in a way that PeakClan had not been.

_We really are lucky, _he thought. _So far, it's only Silverstar and Jaypaw that have gotten sick. _He thought of Jaggedclaw, but refused to acknowledge the possibility that the older tom might be ill. _We haven't had any deaths – at least not permanent ones – whereas in PeakClan, one of their apprentices died within the first moon. And it's all thanks to our heritage…because every cat in AshClan comes from a different place, and has traveled somewhere in their lifetime, we're most resistant. We're stronger._

He swallowed. _What if PeakClan completely perishes? Was that the reason AshClan was sent here…to ensure that this forest would always have at least one Clan?_

He shook himself from his dismal thoughts, and realized that he had stopped walking. Blackfeather peered at him with concern.

"Are you alright?" she mewed. "You look a little out of it."

He blinked at her face, staring into her kind golden eyes, and felt slight warmth creep into his face. He opened his mouth, speaking for once without taking time to analyze his words.

"Blackfeather, I know you're probably still mad at me…and you have the right to be. I shouldn't have made fun of that love thing you were talking about before…I was only joking, but I know it hurt your feelings. And I should have let you spar during Blizzardpaw's training last night. It's just that Leopardpaw was talking about she-cats yesterday, how they don't like seeing a tom they like spar against other she-cats, and I was afraid Robinpaw would be jealous—"

"You trusted Leopardpaw's words over Robinpaw and me?"

His ears flattened. "I know I shouldn't have, but Robinpaw and I haven't always been on the best of terms – the only reason she started talking to me again was because of you – and I was afraid that if I did something to make her angry, everything would splinter apart again…." His gaze dropped down to his paws. "I don't want you to be angry with me, Blackfeather. You're my closest friend, and I—"

He stopped speaking as her feathery tail flicked under his chin, raising his muzzle so that he was looking her in the eyes once more.

"I wasn't really _mad _at you," she meowed, sounding faintly exasperated. "It's just that I…."

She trailed off, and this time it was her gaze that slid away from his. Her tail still rested underneath his chin, and his fur prickled furiously.

There was a sudden rustling in the undergrowth, and the two of them sprang apart, startled. The brambles parted to reveal Stormshadow, who glanced between the two of them.

"What are you two doing up so early?" he asked. Behind him, Fireblaze and Leopardpaw appeared; Fireblaze's eyes narrowed as he looked from Spiderpaw to his sister.

"W-we were just hunting," Blackfeather stammered. "We didn't catch anything, though. And then we went by PeakClan's territory, to see if they had renewed their markings, and they still haven't…."

Stormshadow's brow furrowed. "Curious." He flicked his tail to the other two cats. "Let's not pause and waste time."

Leopardpaw followed him, winking cheekily at Blackfeather as she passed the black warrior.

Fireblaze hesitated. "What were you two _really _doing?" he asked, a slight growl to his voice.

"I'll tell you later," Blackfeather promised, swiping her tongue over his muzzle. "But we need to speak to Silverstar right now. Once you get back from your patrol, come and find me."

"Alright." Fireblaze's amber eyes flicked to Spiderpaw. "Jaggedclaw said you wanted to see me. Something about sparring…?"

Spiderpaw swallowed, still half-expecting Fireblaze to lunge at him. The memory of the feud the two of them had shared was still all too real. "Er, yeah. Jaggedclaw thinks it would be a good idea for me to face larger opponents. He suggested you."

Fireblaze nodded. "Okay. You want to spar today, once I finish all this and you all fill me in on whatever you were doing?"

He blinked, surprised by the ginger tom's offer. "That would be good. I'll let Jaggedclaw know."

Fireblaze nodded, before touching noses with Blackfeather, and continuing after the patrol.

As the sounds of the cats faded, Blackfeather and Spiderpaw glanced at one another again, feeling faintly embarrassed without quite knowing why.

"We should get back," Blackfeather murmured, and Spiderpaw hastily nodded, ruffling the fur around his shoulders. A smile flickered on Blackfeather's muzzle as she looked at him, but she didn't say anything as they continued home.

. . .

"PeakClan has moved camps?" Silverstar asked, her rasping voice ringing with disbelief. "You're certain?"

Blackfeather and Spiderpaw both dipped their heads. "Blackmoon and Birdpaw were carrying herbs, quite a few of them," Blackfeather explained. "He put them in one of the dens when he reached their new camp. I can't imagine why he would do so unless they really had moved."

"Perhaps it's a camp for the sick?" Forestheart asked. "Maybe their old medicine den was becoming too cramped, and they didn't want the sick cats infecting anyone else."

"There were all sorts of cats there, though," Spiderpaw said. "We saw apprentices and warriors, and although they all seemed tired, they weren't sick. Plus, there were kits."

Silverstar's eyes darkened. "Stonestar would never risk moving kits unless it was serious," she mewed, licking her stomach absentmindedly. Forestheart pressed his nose against her shoulder; he was curled around her, as he always seemed to be since she had fallen ill.

Shimmerfrost had been listening, but her face showed only icy indifference. "They had better not be expecting aid from us, is all I can say. We'll be running low on some herbs before long."

"I hope Sootpaw and the others get back soon," Jaypaw mewed, sounding sleepy. Spiderpaw glanced at him, not having realized that the gray apprentice was awake. His amber eyes were fixed on Blackfeather, and she smiled at him.

Spiderpaw felt an odd prickle of jealousy, remembering how Jaypaw had said that the black warrior came to visit him in the middle of the night on occasion. He shook himself, brushing the feeling away.

"What do you think we should do, if anything?" Spiderpaw asked.

Silverstar frowned, and coughed. "I'm not sure. We shouldn't do anything yet; we should wait until the Gathering. Stonestar might bring it up."

"If he doesn't, I'm not sure it would be wise for us to," Forestheart said. "We can't mention it without looking guilty for trespassing. Speaking of," he looked back to the two of them. "You two shouldn't have been on their territory. What if their dawn patrol had found you?"

"They hadn't patrolled in over a day," Spiderpaw said, feeling irritated. "We weren't afraid of a patrol."

"Looking to get captured again so soon?" Shimmerfrost asked, her blue eyes glinting. Spiderpaw's fur bristled, but Blackfeather's tail flicked against his side, warning him to calm down.

"We knew what we were doing," he growled. "We disguised our scent. We were careful. We didn't intent to go so far into their territory, but once we saw Blackmoon and Birdpaw with those herbs, we couldn't turn back. We weren't afraid of being found."

Silverstar's eyes closed. "I understand, Spiderpaw. You're both young, and you've never seen a real clash between Clans. Every apprentice and new warrior dreams of a big battle…a chance to prove themselves." She sighed softly. "You two won't be punished for straying off the territory. This information is valuable…although worrying." Her eyes opened again, and they were clearer than Spiderpaw remembered them having been for nearly a moon. "Send in your father, if you wouldn't mind, when you leave."

Spiderpaw realized they were being dismissed, and he resisted the urge to growl as the two of them left the medicine den. He looked to Blackfeather, wanting to complain about how Silverstar had barely listened to them, but noticed that once again she seemed distant.

"What's up?" he asked, but she shook her head.

"Just something that Jaypaw said before," she mewed. "It's probably nothing, though, don't worry about it. I'll get your father. You can go ahead and tell Jaggedclaw that you'll be sparring with my brother, okay?"

Spiderpaw frowned, wondering what Jaypaw said that had made her so distracted, but he said nothing, trotting towards the elders den without another word.

Jaggedclaw was lying in the entrance to the elders den, but he wasn't moving. Anxiety crawled over Spiderpaw's pelt as his anxious mind immediately assumed that Jaggedclaw was dead, succumbing to the cough that he had heard only the day before. Even as he drew closer, the tom still did not move. Reaching out with trepidation, Spiderpaw touched his muzzle, and was relieved to find that it was still warm.

_You're being a fool, _he told himself, as Jaggedclaw's eye opened, misty at first, but clearing within moments. _A cough isn't enough to stop him. He's probably not even really sick, I'm sure he's fine…._

"What are you doing?" the tom grunted, raising his broad head. "I was napping."

"I just wanted to tell you that Fireblaze agreed to spar with me," Spiderpaw said. "We'll be going out once he finishes his patrol and speaks with Blackfeather."

"And that couldn't have waited a few minutes?" Jaggedclaw growled, sitting up.

Spiderpaw's nose wrinkled. "I don't see why you're so grumpy. Fireblaze said he just spoke to you before he left."

The scarred tom let out a gusty sigh. "I was dreaming, that's all."

Spiderpaw's ears pricked with interest. "Of what?"

Jaggedclaw's eye narrowed. "None of your business."

"Myrtle?"

Jaggedclaw's eye darkened. "No."

"Reedrush?"

The tom didn't answer, but his eye closed again, and Spiderpaw felt another pang of worry.

"She'll be back any day now, I'm sure of it," he said. "Just be patient. You can tell her how much you missed her then."

Jaggedclaw snorted. "There's no telling how long those cats will be. It's only been a little less than a moon. They might be more than a moon away still."

"Do you think you can hold out that long, if you really are sick?" Spiderpaw's voice was low, and Jaggedclaw's eye narrowed. He flicked his tail with irritation.

"Just keep your mouth shut," he growled, and Spiderpaw was reminded of the Jaggedclaw that he had been less than a moon ago: bitter, withdrawn, and angry.

The older tom's head rose, and Spiderpaw turned to see that Fireblaze had entered camp, along with Leopardpaw and Stormshadow. Fireblaze went immediately to Blackfeather, while Stormshadow disappeared into the medicine den to report his findings to Silverstar. Leopardpaw's eyes gleamed as she spotted Spiderpaw, and she trotted over to him, a smile on her face.

"So, I suppose you patched things up with Blackfeather, judging from the fact that you two were together so early this morning?" she asked, twitching her tail against his muzzle. He moved away from her, wiggling his whiskers with irritation.

"We were on PeakClan territory, if you must know," he growled. Her eyes gleamed with interest, and he quickly explained what they had found.

Leopardpaw twitched her ear thoughtfully as she took in the information. "Interesting. I hope Eaglestrike is planning to use this weakness against them. We could always use more territory."

Spiderpaw bristled. "Silverstar's the one making those sorts of decisions, and even if my father was in charge, he's not the type to do something like that. He's not heartless."

"Which is exactly why he's not a good leader," she purred silkily. "He seems the usurpable type, really." Her green eyes gleamed, and Spiderpaw let out a low hiss.

"Are you coming with us?" Jaggedclaw asked, interrupting the two of them. Leopardpaw's eyes flicked to him, and she smiled.

"Of course," she answered. "I wouldn't miss this for the world." She turned her attention back to Spiderpaw, her eyes glittering. "Let me tell you, Spiderpaw, there's nothing she-cats enjoy more than two toms struggling for dominance in such a manner."

Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed. "We're only training."

She laughed. "Say that if you like. With your history, I have the feeling it will devolve into something much more interesting!"

Jaggedclaw frowned. "Don't get your hopes up. If they become too entangled, I'll step in to break it up. I let you two fight because you're not strong enough to badly hurt him, but Fireblaze is much more powerful."

If Leopardpaw's pride was hurting from the insult, she didn't show it, flashing him a quick smile before looking back at Fireblaze.

"Oh, this should be _good,_" she murmured, more to herself than to Spiderpaw.

Jaggedclaw padded towards the ginger tom, and Fireblaze stood as he approached. Blackfeather seemed to have finished their story, for she stood as well.

"Would you mind if I came and watched too?" she asked Jaggedclaw. His tail flicked with annoyance.

"It's not an exhibition," he rumbled. "I don't want half the Clan watching them sparring."

"Fireblaze is my brother, and Spiderpaw is my friend," Blackfeather mewed. Jaggedclaw considered it, then shrugged.

"I suppose Spiderpaw cannot fail in front of you," he growled. "Come on, then."

_What's that supposed to mean? _Spiderpaw asked, letting out a growl. _Everyone has opinions about Blackfeather and me, and it's starting to get old._

Jaggedclaw led the group of out camp, to the Moss Clearing. He settled himself off to the side; Leopardpaw and Blackfeather sat on either side of him, giving each other frosty looks. Fireblaze and Spiderpaw padded to the center of the clearing, facing one another and waiting for Jaggedclaw's signal.

Fireblaze smiled. "Don't worry. I'll go easy on you."

Spiderpaw immediately bristled, but forced his fur to flatten as he realized Fireblaze had spoken without malice, and his amber eyes glittered only with good humor.

"Let's begin," Jaggedclaw growled. "Fireblaze, try to pin Spiderpaw down. Don't be afraid to hurt him. You're allowed to use your claws and teeth, but try not to wound him too deeply."

Fireblaze smiled. "We're not holding back, huh? Sounds good to me." He unsheathed his claws, flexing them in the moss. Spiderpaw did the same, remembering not to make the first move against his opponent. He resisted the urge to look at Blackfeather and make sure she was paying attention, knowing that Fireblaze was a dangerous opponent.

Fireblaze suddenly charged forward, moving faster than Spiderpaw had anticipated. The ginger tom had continued to grow after being made a warrior, and he had only grown faster since Spiderpaw last saw him spar against Jaypaw. Spiderpaw dodged to the side, but Fireblaze still managed to get a swipe in.

The ginger tom turned around, digging his claws into the moss to gain traction before leaping again. Spiderpaw flattened himself to the ground, and Fireblaze soared over him, but turned before Spiderpaw could rise again. Within moments, Spiderpaw was pinned against the ground. He struggled, but couldn't reach any of Fireblaze's legs to try the trick he had used against Leopardpaw. He thrashed, then went limp.

Fireblaze's grip didn't slacken, and Spiderpaw let out a quiet growl. _Maybe he's smarter than I gave him credit for._

After a moment, Fireblaze allowed him to stand up, and Spiderpaw found that Jaggedclaw's eyes were gleaming.

"That's what he needs," he meowed. "Let's try that again. This time, Spiderpaw, remember that as a smaller cat you do have some advantages. Fireblaze is fast, but you're faster, and you can go where he cannot. Use that to your advantage."

Spiderpaw nodded, and turned to face Fireblaze once more. The ginger tom was still brimming with energy. Without warning, he charged, but this time Spiderpaw was ready for his speed.

The small tom flung himself into the air, leaping over Fireblaze as the tom rushed him. He landed on the ginger warrior's back and dug his claws in, before springing off just as Fireblaze wheeled back around.

"That stung," Fireblaze meowed. "Reminded me of a bee sting. Is that the best you can do?"

Spiderpaw bristled. "Wouldn't you like to find out?"

This time it was Spiderpaw that moved first, darting from side to side as he raced towards the ginger tom. Fireblaze didn't move until Spiderpaw was right up on him. As soon as Spiderpaw was in range, Fireblaze reared onto his hind legs, ready to crush the black apprentice.

Spiderpaw was forced to veer out of the way to avoid Fireblaze's heavy paws. He turned, ready to spring onto the tom's back once more, only to find that Fireblaze had moved to the side and turned in the same motion, so they were facing each other once more.

Spiderpaw let out a hiss of frustration. He was faster than Fireblaze in terms of raw speed, but Fireblaze's reaction time was incredibly quick, and he had an uncanny ability to guess Spiderpaw's movements. It was clear that even after becoming a warrior, Fireblaze hadn't stopped training.

"Come on now, at least give me a reason to come out here," Fireblaze grinned. "It's not any fun if you can't even touch me."

Spiderpaw let out a low hiss and sprang forwards again, but this time he did not run towards the ginger tom. He ran past him, and Fireblaze had to turn to keep his eyes on the black tom. Spiderpaw continued running, looping around the ginger tom and forcing him to turn in a circle to keep his eyes on the black apprentice.

After Spiderpaw ran the loop a few times, Fireblaze stopped turning with him, preferring to stand in one place and watch the black tom as he moved past, looking faintly confused. Spiderpaw took the opportunity to get a few jabs in while Fireblaze's back was too him. The ginger tom let out a hiss, but couldn't turn around quickly enough to catch him.

Spiderpaw was already on his other side by the time the ginger tom turned, and he took the opportunity to leap onto Fireblaze's back, digging his claws in. Fireblaze let out a grunt, but wasted no time trying to grab Spiderpaw, instead flipping onto his back to crush him. Spiderpaw managed to leap off before Fireblaze could get him, but still found him in range of Fireblaze's paws.

The ginger tom kicked up at Spiderpaw before he landed, sending Spiderpaw tumbling off to the side. Before he could regain his footing, Fireblaze was on him, pinning him down with ease.

Spiderpaw was panting with exertion, but oddly enough he didn't feel angry as the ginger tom smiled down at him. Fireblaze was a little breathless too, and although he still had a cocky gleam in his eye, it was nowhere near the arrogance that Leopardpaw held when she succeeded him beating him.

Fireblaze let him up, and looked to Jaggedclaw. Spiderpaw rose to his feet, giving his coat a shake, and looked to Blackfeather. She gave him a little wave with her tail, and a small smile. He looked back to Jaggedclaw, waiting for his judgment.

"Your running move was interesting, Spiderpaw, but impractical," the scarred tom growled. "You wasted a lot of energy and only managed to get a few blows in. You were able to get onto his back, which was good, but you didn't have much time to do any damage before Fireblaze threw you off. Remember that grabbing his ear would help you stop him from turning to the side.

"You should make better work of your quick paws. With the loop move, you proved that you could move and turn too quickly for him to catch you. Use that to your advantage."

Spiderpaw nodded, looking back to Fireblaze, but the ginger tom was yawning, tired from his patrol that morning. Spiderpaw was certain that as soon as his own adrenaline faded, he'd be ready to collapse as well.

_I'm not challenging him enough to keep his energy up, _he thought, his tail twitching. _I need to work harder at this, or he's going to feel like he's just wasting his time. He's a warrior, with responsibilities beyond sparring with a single apprentice._

"I hope you don't mind, but I think I'm calling it quits for today," Fireblaze rumbled. "I haven't eaten yet, and I'm starving."

Jaggedclaw shrugged. "That's fine. Thanks for taking the time to train with him."

Fireblaze nodded. "No problem. Just let me know if you want to do it again some other time." He looked to Blackfeather. "Want to eat with me?"

She glanced at Spiderpaw. "I'd rather stay, if you don't mind."

Fireblaze's whiskers twitched as he looked between her and Spiderpaw, but he shrugged. "Whatever. You coming, Leopardpaw?"

She rose to her paws with a sly smile. "There's not much else to see here," she purred, padding towards him. Fireblaze nudged her with his shoulder, reprimanding her, but they strolled out of the clearing together.

Spiderpaw turned to leave as well – he was starving – but Jaggedclaw let out a low growl.

"You're not finished," he meowed. "There are still some drills I'd like you to perform. You need to practice your springing. You leaped away from Fireblaze, but he still caught you."

"I can spar with Spiderpaw," Blackfeather offered. Jaggedclaw's ear pricked, but he shrugged.

"If you want," he said. "You're not much larger than Spiderpaw, but you're fast enough to give him a hard time. Have at it."

Blackfeather smiled, and trotted to the center of the clearing, her golden eyes twinkling at Spiderpaw.

"Things might be a little different, since we're not training in the darkness," she purred to him. "I'll be easier for you to see, at least."

He rolled his eyes. "Like I ever had any trouble with that, considering how bright your eyes always are."

She let out a quiet, flattered purr, before crouching, her tail sweeping from side to side. "Ready when you are."

Spiderpaw sized her up, before deciding to lead with a quick cuff to her ear, followed by a swipe over her shoulder. He moved forwards, his paws flying over the moss, only to find that somehow she already knew what he was going to do. She rose onto her back paws, just as her brother had done, but instead of trying to crush him, she simply batted him away with her forepaws. He rolled to the side, aiming a swipe at her hind leg. It unbalanced her, but her front paws came back down before she fell over, and she turned on him again, her eyes glowing like lanterns.

The rest of their battle was a blur, filled with her glowing eyes and sleek fur. Blackfeather was always one step ahead of him – she was all too familiar with his fighting style – but they were so evenly matched in terms of speed that he was still able to get a blow in here and then before she flipped him over or sent him tumbling. He felt alive, every nerve humming and every muscle working together in harmony, but still couldn't manage to overcome the black warrior.

_She's grown up so much, _he thought, remembering the timid apprentice he had once known. _She's confident now, but not arrogant, and still so kind…._

His concentration lapsed for a brief instant, and Blackfeather took the opportunity to hook one paw under his leg, sending him tumbling head-over-paw over the moss. She pinned him, crouching over him and using all her strength to pin him as he flailed. He nearly succeeded in escaping, but she nipped his ear to stop his head from twisting around to grab her, and finally he went limp, panting from their struggle. She was winded too, but her eyes were shining down at him, and he stiffened with surprise as she licked his muzzle and nuzzled his neck before letting him up.

Spiderpaw found himself breathless from a little more than exhaustion, and it took him a moment to find the strength to stand back up. He flushed underneath his fur was he realized that Jaggedclaw was staring at them, his amber eye clouded.

Spiderpaw cleared his throat, fighting back his embarrassment. "Was that okay?"

Jaggedclaw heaved himself to his paws. "It was fine. Remember her trick of tripping you up. It'll come in handy."

Blackfeather exchanged a look of concern with Spiderpaw. Jaggedclaw turned away from them, and she took a step forward, but he glanced over his shoulder at the two of them.

"I'm just going to take a walk," he growled. "Go back to camp."

He limped out of the clearing, and Blackfeather frowned with worry.

"It isn't a good idea to let him in the forest by himself," she mewed. "He could get hurt. What if his shoulder acts up?"

"We shouldn't bother him," Spiderpaw meowed. "He's probably thinking of Myrtle, and Reedrush. He misses them."

"Myrtle?"

Spiderpaw shook his head. "Never mind. We should be getting back."

Blackfeather continued to stare at the spot where Jaggedclaw had disappeared, but she sighed. "Okay. If you think he'll be fine by himself."

Both of their stomachs gurgled, and she smiled. "I'm starving, and Fireblaze has probably devoured half the fresh-kill in camp by now. Let's go!"

She dashed off, disappearing into the brush, and Spiderpaw let out a playful growl, taking off after her as they raced back home.

. . .

"Why is this suddenly so delicious?" Blackfeather moaned as she gnawed on the remains of the fish that they had shared. "Most of the time I don't even like fish."

Spiderpaw sat back, feeling contented with his full stomach and sleepy. "Because you were starving, and it doesn't help to be picky in leaf-bare?"

Blackfeather's whiskers twitched with amusement. "Maybe. That was pretty good…but I've heard that fresh-kill is only as good as the company you share it with." She winked at him, before rolling onto her back, letting the sun warm her dark fur. Spiderpaw did the same, letting out a quiet purr. This was one of the perks of having a black pelt.

"Spiderpaw, what are you doing just lying around?" Petalcloud's voice reached him, and he opened his eyes to find her peering down at him.

"This is the first bit of rest I've had all day!" he complained.

"It's true," Blackfeather assured her mother. "We were out exploring together this morning, and then he sparred for hours."

Petalcloud's whiskers twitched. "I know, I heard. I'm just messing with you." She tweaked his nose. "How's your training with Jaggedclaw going?"

"Okay, I guess. I was sparring with Fireblaze today instead of Leopardpaw, and it was more of a challenge than I expected," he replied.

Petalcloud beamed with pride. "He's grown up to be a handsome young tom, just as Blackfeather has grown up to be beautiful," she purred, giving Blackfeather a nuzzle. The black she-cat sat up to lick her mother's muzzle.

"I was thinking that we haven't done any battle training together in awhile," Petalcloud continued. "We need to. Jaggedclaw is teaching you techniques, which is good, but you still have other things to practice. Are you guys going to spar tomorrow?"

"I don't think so," Spiderpaw meowed, "but he's been kind of down lately, and I don't want to just leave him alone."

"I'll keep him company," Blackfeather offered. "We can share some fresh-kill or something. It shouldn't be a problem."

Spiderpaw wasn't sure he liked the idea – what if Jaggedclaw talked to her about whatever he thought Spiderpaw was feeling? – but couldn't think of a good way to say no.

"Just don't be obvious about it," he said. "He hates having other cats pity him."

Blackfeather nodded. "I seemed to manage just fine with you, didn't I?"

She laughed as he growled and rolled to the side to avoid his paws. Petalcloud watched the two of them with amusement.

"I'll remind you tomorrow, but try not to forget," she said to Spiderpaw, before padding away.

"Are you excited for the Gathering?" Blackfeather asked, rolling back over to bat at his ears with her paws. "It's getting close. Do you think you'll go?"

"I don't know," he replied. "I'd like to, and I think I've done well this past moon…but there are a lot of apprentices that have been good too, so…."

"If it was me, I'd let you go," Blackfeather said. "At least no one can say that Eaglestrike plays favorites."

Spiderpaw snorted. "Yeah, that's really comforting."

He stared up at the blue sky, watching the clouds pass over their heads, and sighed quietly as he thought of Sootpaw. "I always thought that Sootpaw and I would go to our first Gathering together."

"I miss her," Blackfeather mewed. "She was always pretty quiet, but nice. But I'm sure she'd be happy for you, if you do get to go."

"I miss Bluepaw, too," Spiderpaw sighed. "She was my best friend before she left."

Blackfeather glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "I know you two were close."

He nodded. "Yeah. I think I kind of liked her…more than just friends, I mean. But she's probably forgotten about that, and she's the medicine apprentice, anyway."

"Oh." Blackfeather's voice was softer, and he wondered if he had upset her on accident.

"You're my best friend now," he said, trying to make her feel better. "I'm sure Sootpaw and Bluepaw are close, since they're on the journey together and all."

She smiled at him, but her eyes were still a little dark. "Thanks, Spiderpaw. You're my best friend too." She touched noses with him, before rising to her paws. "I think I'm going to take a nap. See you later."

She padded towards the warriors den, and Spiderpaw sighed to himself.

_She was so happy while we were sparring, _he thought, remembering the way her eyes had sparkled. _I always seem to bring her down, somehow…she had my back today, at the river, but I haven't done anything for her in return._

He let out a low huff as her feathery tail disappeared into the den, before he rose to his paws, trotting after her.

"Hey," he said, ducking into the den. She blinked at him with surprise. "When I said I liked Bluepaw…that was a moon ago. I mean, I was barely an apprentice at the time. It wasn't anything serious, Blackfeather. I'll be happy when she gets back, but it won't change anything between us. You'll always be my closest friend."

Blackfeather still seemed a little taken aback, but her eyes melted, and she nuzzled his head between his ears. "Thank you, Spiderpaw. I'm glad." Then, she chuckled, her eyes twinkling. "I really do need a nap, though. I wasn't just trying to get away from you, or anything."

"Oh," Spiderpaw muttered, heat rising to his face. "Er, okay. I'll leave you to it."

He backed out of the den, hearing Blackfeather's laughter ringing in his ears as he headed for his own waiting nest.

**AN: Little late, guys, sorry! I've been working on Dragon's Bargain, a novel that I wrote for NaNo a couple years ago, and it's been taking up a lot of my time. I'm hoping to finish it eventually…but Chilled must come first! :)**

**New poll, too, if you haven't already noticed. Go vote if you like…although I did notice that one person voted Blight for their favorite Sinner, which kind of makes me worry for the fate of humanity.**

**Also, ARRRG. FFN's changed something in the way the document-thingy handles some stuff, so now the titles of my chapters are messed up, as you've probably noticed, and it also messed with the things I had in Shattered to show the POV changes. It's kinda infuriating, but I really can't go back to fix all the chapters in Chilled, Shattered, and possibly Snatched. Sorry. D:**


	49. C h a p t e r 48

**C**_**hapter **_**48**

Sootpaw watched Reedrush with caution, wanting to trot up to her and ask about the lake – she felt it would be a good thing to add to the dream she was building for Chillpaw – but she was too timid. Reedrush wasn't talking to Thistlethorn, but they were walking together, and at any moment they might begin conversing. Because Rabbitleap was…Rabbitleap, and Rainwind had died, the two AshClan warriors had been the ones to pick up the slack and they were unofficially the leaders of the group. Sootpaw had been intimidated by them before, but now she was downright nervous about asking Reedrush questions about where she had grown up.

She rasped her tongue over her muzzle, wishing that she had Moonpaw with her for courage.

_Or Chillpaw, maybe, _she thought. _I think I'm a little braver when I'm with him…brave enough to talk with the other Dark Forest cats, at least._

_Sootpaw? _Chillpaw's voice rang in her mind, loud and clear. The fur on her tail fluffed up with alarm, but she quickly calmed herself, not wanting the others to stare.

_Chillpaw? Is that you?_

_Yes, _he answered. _I was just checking in with Moonpaw, and heard my name. Do you need something?_

She sighed to herself. _Not exactly. I was going to talk to Reedrush, but I'm nervous._

_You always seem a bit on edge._

Her ears pricked. _What do you mean by that? _she demanded, feeling a bit hurt.

_I think we've spoken about this before. You're self-defeating, and timid around others. It's unhealthy._

She frowned. _You're one to talk about being unhealthy. You weren't so stable yourself._

She thought she heard him laugh quietly. _That's true. But my point still stands._

She stared down at her paws. _But…what do you mean, I'm self-defeating? I'm on this journey, that's something._

_Your father didn't give you a mentor, but you never objected. You rarely approached the other mentors for training, even when they weren't busy and would have taken you. Even now when Reedrush is free and able to train with you, you never ask her. You almost always went along with whatever your brother said. You never shared your dreams or abilities with others, even though they would net you recognition. Even when Bluepaw took your credit, your protest was feeble. In your hunt for glory, you agreed to help a bunch of dead, morally questionable cats, even though you knew almost from the beginning that none of us would remember your deeds once the ceremony was complete. With your Clanmates, you are accommodating to a fault, not objecting when others shut you out of their conversations._

_But all of that pales in comparison to your attachment to Moonpaw, _he continued. _She is the perfect image of yourself, your idolized form. If she looked like you – if she had your fur or eyes – that would be somewhat heartening, but she looks different from you in every way: pelt color, eye color, size, build. This suggests that in your mind, you can never _be _her, no matter how much you aspire to be. Your quests to become Moonpaw were doomed from the beginning, because even if you can become a good hunter or fighter, your appearance will never change._

Her breath was coming quickly in her throat as his words overwhelmed her. She couldn't imagine it being true – was she really the type of cat that would sacrifice herself for others, even when they didn't need her? – but everything he said was making too much sense, and she knew Chillpaw was more observant than any other cat that she had ever known.

_I've hurt your feelings, haven't I? _he asked, and she thought he sounded regretful. _I didn't mean to. I didn't intend to imply that you're a lost cause, only that you have a self-destructive streak in you. It's genetic, I suppose._

_What does that mean? _she demanded. _Eaglestrike and Ravenwing are both very kind, but they aren't _self-destructive.

_Never mind. Sootpaw, I didn't mean that you are hopeless. There are some positive signs. For one, you gave up that Moonpaw ceremony that you tried to perform._

She blinked, realizing that he was correct. She couldn't remember the last day that she had started by wishing to be Moonpaw. In the hustle and bustle and many rude awakenings of the journey, she'd never really had the necessary time to herself.

_And although your anger towards Bluepaw was rather unimpressive, it was at least an improvement, _he went on. _It's a step towards becoming more vocal about what you want, although you still crumpled too quickly._

She remained silent, and his voice softened. _I only meant to bring this issue to your attention, Sootpaw. You'll never get anywhere by remaining unassertive. You need to enforce your will upon others._

_I don't want to be like you, _she whispered. _I don't want to be trapped in the Dark Forest because I 'enforced my will' too harshly. I don't want to turn into Brightstar, with all the power I could ever want, but crushed by loneliness. I don't want to be Nettlefrost, with burning ambition but without the loyalty of my friends._

_So, you'd prefer to be more like Swiftshade or Shrew? _he asked. _A coward, too afraid to seize life by the throat? Too afraid to try and do your best, because you might falter?_

She shook her head. _No, I don't want to be like that either, but…._

_Balance, _he said softly. _Isn't that what you told Nettlefrost?_

Her ears pricked with surprise. _She spoke to you?_

_Of course. I'm almost flattered, really, that you would give my advice out to others, _he replied.

_I didn't mean it the way you do, _she said. _I don't want to bring around balance through violence, trying to right scales that don't exist. I just…I want to be my own cat, but I want to make others happy, too._

_There's nothing wrong with that. Some would say it's admirable. But your needs must come first. You won't be able to help others if you don't have the power necessary to do so, after all. I'm not saying you need to go and murder half your Clan or anything, but at least consider voicing your opinion now and then. What was it you wanted to speak to Reedrush about? _he inquired.

She flushed under her fur. _Nothing. Don't worry about it. Is this tiring you? Do you need to focus on the Dark Forest?_

_No. There aren't any physical obstacles in our way anymore. We're too deep into the forest. Everything is…murky. It's difficult to explain. I don't think we'll be running into anymore cats, though. I can keep track of two things at a time. _

_Okay. Well…would you mind coming back later? After I finish speaking with Reedrush, I mean? I could use the company._

She could almost imagine him frowning at her. _Don't you have your friends to speak to?_

Her ears flattened as she glanced around her. Everyone was in pairs: Rook and Nightingale had each other, and Bluepaw and Sage were whispering to one another, probably about mystical-healer-things. Swanpaw and Brackenpaw were walking together – probably more because they were both PeakClan apprentices, than anything – which left Sootpaw pair-less. The only other cat was Rabbitleap, and although she seemed nice enough, she was a warrior of another Clan, and Sootpaw didn't know her well enough to start a conversation.

_I see. Your friends are all conversing with one another without you. This is what I was talking about, but I digress. Speak to Reedrush if you wish. I'll come back later._

_Okay, _she said, then blinked. _You're not here all the time, are you…?_

_No, _he answered. _I just thought that I should take advantage of this connection while I can, to keep you informed if anything happens here or if you will be seeing any cats in your dreams. I can't monitor you all the time, it would be impractical…and also I believe you would find it 'creepy,' correct?_

Her whiskers twitched. _Correct. Thank you. I'll talk to you later, I guess._

She waited, but he did not reply, and she guessed that he was gone. Looking back at Reedrush, she took a deep breath, before breaking into a trot to catch up to the silver she-cat.

"Reedrush?"

"Sootpaw?" Reedrush turned to look down at her. "Hello. Do you need something?"

Sootpaw smiled. "Do I have to need something to talk to you?"

Reedrush's whiskers twitched. "I suppose not, but you don't seem like the most talkative cat, most of the time. What can I do for you?"

"Well…." Sootpaw felt a tremor of anxiety, but pushed on. "I was just thinking about the lake. I know we weren't in the area for long, but it was beautiful while we were. I was just wondering how much of it you remembered."

Reedrush blinked. "Odd question. I remember almost everything, really. I lived there for most of my life, you know. Nearly twelve moons. I was very close to getting my wartime name – that's what we called warrior names, it became a little distorted through the ages – before the Twolegs invaded and my father died."

Sootpaw blinked. "What was it like before the Twolegs?"

Reedrush paused a moment, considering the question. "Bigger, I suppose," she mewed. "Cleaner. The air was…brighter, somehow. The reeds seemed more vibrant…I'm not sure how much of that is just nostalgia, though."

"It sounds beautiful," Sootpaw mewed. "Can you…can you describe it to me? I'm sorry if this is strange, but the forest is all I ever really knew. I never imagined that water could gather into such a huge pool like the lake. It's amazing."

Reedrush smiled, twitching her tail against Sootpaw's flank. "Don't apologize. It was beautiful, you're right. The reeds would shimmer sometimes, in that lull between dawn and full-blown morning…the water would dance as the sun rose, and it would glitter yellow, blue, orange…sometimes even green. It was magical." She let out a quiet sigh. "It always smelled clear there, and it was almost always cooler because of the lake. But sometimes when it was hot, we would go down and roll in the mud on the bank. It was dark – almost black, sometimes – and we would all end up looking like wild-eyed creatures, with our fur sticking up in all directions. It was almost impossible to recognize Blitz like that, because he had white fur." She smiled at the memory."

"Blitz?" Sootpaw echoed.

"Blizzardpaw's father," Reedrush answered. "We grew up together. We were best friends, and after everything collapsed we ran away together…we weren't in love, or anything, only lonely…but we were separated. I still have no idea where he is. I'm not sure if he even knew he was going to be a father." She blinked up at the sky, her green eyes slightly misty. "I'd like to find him too, someday, but I'm not sure that will be anything more than a dream. I don't have any idea where he would have gone, if not back to the lake."

"But we know where Bullet is," Sootpaw murmured, keeping her voice low so the others wouldn't hear. Reedrush's ears pricked, and she looked down at Sootpaw.

"All we know is that he was following the Thunderpath," Reedrush said.

"I found out a little more," Sootpaw said, and quickly explained all that she had heard from Rook and Nightingale. Reedrush's eyes lit up as Sootpaw mentioned Bullet going 'back to his roots.'

"I think I might know what he means by that, if Jaggedclaw and Bullet really did have some history," she meowed. "When Jaggedclaw and I first met, he said that he came from somewhere far away…the Bonedumps. It's possible that Bullet hails from there, too." Her eyes glowed at the idea. "So, now we have more than just a blue-gray cat to chase. Even if no one's seen him, we can point ourselves towards the Bonedumps and find him."

Sootpaw smiled, glad that she had been able to help the silver warrior. She wanted to ask more questions about the lake, but decided that it was time to let the subject rest.

Reedrush flicked her tail against Sootpaw's shoulder. "Thank you very much for the news, Sootpaw. I appreciate it."

Sootpaw smiled up at her, then blinked as she remembered what Chillpaw had said, about how she never asked the silver she-cat for training. She took in a deep breath.

"Do you think we could do some training some time soon?" she asked. "Like…maybe battle training?"

Reedrush's eyes widened in surprise, but an easy smile came over her muzzle. "Sure, Sootpaw. I'm sure you're anxious for some training, aren't you? I know we've all been a little distracted by this journey, but I'd love to, once we stop for the night. Just remind me, okay? I might forget."

Sootpaw nodded, feeling excitement stirring up within her. "Thank you!"

Thistlethorn drifted towards them. "We're coming up on the Thunderpath again," he growled. Sootpaw's ears pricked, and she realized that she could hear the rush of monsters nearby.

"Bluepaw did say that we should rejoin it," the silver tabby mewed. She lifted her tail, signaling for the others to follow her as she turned away from the Thundertracks, heading for the sound. The others trailed after her, and the Thunderpath came into view, with the shiny tops of the monsters glistening in the sun, like fat beetles, as they rushed past.

_I can't say that I missed the smell much, _she thought with a small smile. She looked back to Reedrush, but the silver she-cat was speaking to Thistlethorn now, and Sootpaw didn't want to interrupt them. She allowed herself to drift back until she was walking in line with Bluepaw and Sage. Neither of them seemed to notice her, but she didn't mind.

_Is now a good time, Sootpaw? _Chillpaw asked in her mind, and she laughed quietly.

_Perfect timing, really. I talked to Reedrush, and asked her if she would train with me later. _

_I'm assuming she said yes?_

Sootpaw nodded, then wondered if Chillpaw was able to sense the motion. _Yes, she did._

_That wasn't so hard, now was it? It's a good first step._

She sighed quietly. _Do you really think I'm a pushover?_

_You agreed to help us, didn't you? _he asked. _Most cats wouldn't have even considered it. But some might say you're kinder than most. It's the same thing, really. Kindness is but a weakness in itself._

Her tail twitched with irritation. _Don't you remember when you made it snow for me? What was that, then, if not kindness?_

He was quiet for a long moment, and she wondered if he had withdrawn from their connection, until he said, _Even the iciest cats have lapses, I suppose._

She smiled to herself. _If that's what you want to call it. Maybe we need to work on your character too, huh?_

_There's not much of a point to it, seeing as the ceremony will be happening soon and then I will not remember anything that transpired between us, _he said.

She stared down at her paws. There was always that nagging fact hovering on the edge of her mind – the knowledge that as soon as the ceremony was over, nothing she said to any of the Dark Forest cats would matter. They would never remember anything they had done together, or how she had helped them find their new lives. There was the possibility of them remembering after they died again and reached StarClan, but she wasn't even sure if that would actually happen, or if their old life would just be overwritten and forgotten.

_Aren't you scared? _she asked. _I mean, once there ceremony is over…you'll cease to exist._

_My spirit will be fine. I'll just be in a new body, is all, _he replied.

_I know, but…there's more to a cat than just a spirit, isn't there? I mean, I suppose at some level you'll be the same…but you'll have different influences on you in your new life. Different cats will raise and teach you, and who knows how your world view will be shaped. If there's anything I've learned, it's that you all were shaped by your experiences. Swiftshade had only his sister to guide him, and after he let Berrypaw, he felt alienated. Brightstar was looked down upon by her Clan, and she revolted against that. Shrew was bullied and forced to hide from his Clanmates. Dapplefern felt she wasn't appreciated, and Nettlefrost's ambition soured when Eagletalon betrayed her trust. There's no telling what would have happened to them if their lives had been different. They might have all been great warrior. And you…your mother was ill. She ran off with you and was killed and Lion took you in, but he wasn't well either. He was warped by grief and anger, and that changed you._

His voice was low and icy as he said, _Are you saying that it's Lion's fault, or my mother's?_

_No, that's not what I meant, _she said hastily. _Your mother's illness wasn't her fault; there was nothing she could do about it, or at least I don't think so…I don't know most of the story, I guess. And it wasn't really Lion's fault either, since his family died….But that wasn't really what I was trying to say. I only meant that unless you grow up in the same environment as you did before, there's no certainty that you'll end up being the same, and even if you are, you'll still have different memories…the you that you used to be won't exist anymore. I know you weren't scared to die, but this is bigger than that, because you won't exist at all, aside from memories._

There was another lull between them. _That is a terrible fate, _he said finally, _but once the ceremony is over, it won't matter._

_Aren't you at least a little nervous, though? _she pressed. _You can't honestly tell me that you don't have any bad feelings about this at all._

_I'd prefer not to speak of it, _he said, and she thought his voice had a slight emptiness to it that she couldn't quite place. _Let us speak of something else._

She decided to go along with the change of subject, and they discussed other topics, flitting from subject to subject as easily as she would with any of her other friends. She found herself relaxing slightly as they went on; as strange as Chillpaw was, deep down she could think of him as just another Clanmate.

Finally, he had to pull away. _Dapplefern's causing more trouble, and I need to step in, _he told her, _and I am a little weary. _

Her whiskers twitched. _Okay. Thanks for keeping me company._

_You're welcome, I suppose._

She waited a moment, then looked up at the sky and blinked with surprise as she realized the sun was already setting. Looking towards Reedrush and Thistlethorn, she realized they had stopped walking.

_Guess we're settling here for the night, then, _she thought, giving a glance around her. They were farther away from the Thunderpath than they had been before they abandoned it for the Thundertracks; instead of standing atop the gorge, they were roughly level with the tarry path, so Sootpaw assumed that Reedrush and Thistlethorn had decided to be cautious, not wanting any monsters to leave the path and attack. Sootpaw had never seen such a thing happen before, but she had heard of it in stories, and the thought made her shudder.

"We need to hunt before we settle down, obviously," Reedrush said. "Everyone pair up. We don't know if there are hostile cats in the area. Sootpaw, you can come with me."

Sootpaw's ears pricked, and she trotted towards the silver tabby. Thistlethorn looked slightly disgruntled – Reedrush taking Sootpaw would require him to be with Rabbitleap – but said nothing, heading towards the trees with the gray-and-white she-cat in tow.

Reedrush flicked her tail, and Sootpaw hurried after her as they padded towards the forest, leaving the noise of the Thunderpath behind.

"You're not a bad hunter, right?" Reedrush asked as the blanket of forest sounds settled over them. "I see you sharing with Bluepaw sometimes."

"I'm okay," Sootpaw mewed. "I miss a lot of the prey I go after…sometimes I just get lucky."

Reedrush purred. "There's nothing wrong with a bit of luck. I wasn't the best hunter growing up, either. I was always too excited and unfocused."

"For me, it's more about making noise," she admitted. "It's hard for me to be quiet, even when I try to keep track of everything. And sometimes I don't jump far enough, or I overshoot them."

Reedrush nodded. "That's to be expected. You're still growing, and you're in that awkward phase when your body's bigger than you remember and you're having a hard time keeping up with that. I know Northstar taught you his crouching method, right?"

Sootpaw nodded, and the silver cat continued, "That's the best way to handle your big paws. Just take it slowly, and don't psyche yourself out. I assure you, the noise you make sounds much louder to you than anyone else. As for the jumping, that just takes practice. Here, watch."

Reedrush fell into a hunting crouch, creeping over the ground with practiced ease. Sootpaw admired how each of the tabby's paws barely made a sound as they skirted over the earth, easing her forward. Sootpaw crept behind her, wincing as her own paws crunched over the leaves.

Reedrush's target came into sight as Sootpaw peered between the ferns: a little vole, who was cleaning his whiskers. Reedrush paused, coiling her muscles and readying her strike.

"Just take a moment to judge the distance between you and him," she murmured. "You can try picturing it from above. I'm sure Northstar mentioned something like that, right?"

"He compared it to being a hawk," she answered, and Reedrush nodded.

"That's a good way to picture it. There's no need to rush, though, and if you hurry yourself, you're more likely to make mistakes."

Reedrush lunged forward suddenly, landing on top of the vole with ease and killing it with a sharp bite. She looked back to Sootpaw. "Was that clear enough?"

Sootpaw nodded gratefully. "What about prey that's higher up, like squirrels or birds?"

"With them, you have to be a little faster," she admitted. "They can get out of your reach pretty quickly, by scaling a tree or just flying away. But I wouldn't worry about trying to catch them until you master the basics first."

Sootpaw nodded. "Do you think we could do some battle training, too?"

Reedrush mulled it over, then shrugged. "I don't see why not. We can't take a terribly long time, though, because I'm sure you need your rest as much as I do." She lifted her head, looking over her shoulder. "There's a rabbit around here somewhere that you can try to catch."

Sootpaw's ears flattened. "Are you sure? Their hearing is really good."

Reedrush smiled. "I'm sure. You can handle it, Sootpaw. I'll be right behind you." She picked up her vole, and waited for the gray apprentice to lead the way.

She felt apprehensive, but decided to give it a shot. She opened her mouth, searching for the scent of the rabbit, and fell into a crouch as she caught a whiff.

"Keep your tail up," Reedrush whispered, her voice low and encouraging. "Make sure to lift your paws up when you walk. Don't shuffle. Rabbits will hear you before you reach them, so be careful. Don't be afraid to use a burst of speed as you get closer, because they're quick to flee."

"If I miss it, will you be able to catch it?" Sootpaw asked, knowing that prey was hard to find in leaf-bare. "Bluepaw and I usually share, and I don't want her to be hungry."

"You won't miss," Reedrush answered, and Sootpaw smiled, cheered by the encouragement.

She crept forward, trying to keep track of her paws and tail while remaining as silent as possible. She kept her ears pricked, listening for the sound of the rabbit, and stiffened as she heard fur brush against the leaves.

She could dimly see the fuzzy gray body of the rabbit from underneath a fallen log in front of her. She frowned to herself – the log would be a difficult obstacle to overcome. She could try leaping over it, but she wasn't sure she could make it, and she would fall short of the rabbit. It was too difficult to judge the distance between her and her prey, especially as the rabbit moved to the right, farther behind the log.

She hesitated, wanting to turn back and ask Reedrush for help, but steely determination filled her as she remembered Chillpaw's words.

_Too bad he isn't watching, _she thought. _I'm not going to miss. I've just got to be confident! I can't depend on everyone else to do the work for me._

She readied herself to pounce, coiling her muscles beneath her, before exploding into the air. Rather than soaring over the log, she landed on it with a thump, taking only a moment to size up the distance between her and the rabbit and leaping again.

The rabbit's eyes widened with panic as it saw her, and it wheeled around to flee. Sootpaw hadn't been sure of how fast the rabbit would be, so she overestimated the distance in order to make sure she didn't fall short. Her guess was nearly perfect. Her heavy paws came down on the rabbit's hindquarters, smashing it to the ground.

It was stronger than she expected, and it kicked and fought in her grasp, but she managed to hold it tight long enough to grab it around the throat. She bit down, and winced as one of the rabbit's flailing paws caught her on the muzzle, scratching her. Ignoring the sting, she refused to let go, and within a few moments the rabbit's fighting had ceased.

Spitting out a bit of fur that had caught on her tongue, Sootpaw turned to find Reedrush perched up on the log, beaming down at her.

"That was excellent, Sootpaw!" she purred. "I knew you could do it."

"Thank you," Sootpaw mewed, flushing at the praise. "I just had to follow my instincts, I guess."

"Well, you did so very well," Reedrush replied, her green eyes twinkling. "Come on, we should get back. I'm sure Bluepaw will be delighted with a hefty rabbit to sink her teeth into."

Sootpaw grinned up at the silver tabby, before grabbing her catch in her jaws and following her back to the ground.

Bluepaw's eyes were the size of the moon as she saw what Sootpaw had caught.

"That's awesome!" she purred, bouncing towards her friend. "Was it really hard?"

Sootpaw started to deflect the compliment, then decided to abandon her modesty, for once. "It was pretty challenging," she admitted. "There was a huge log in the way, and I've never really gone after a rabbit before…but I pulled it off."

"Without a lot of input from me, might I add," Reedrush meowed, flicking her tail against Sootpaw's flank. "Enjoy it, you two."

Sage was waiting for them as well, although Sootpaw was surprised to see a water vole between his paws.

"I went with him while he hunted," Bluepaw explained. "I'm rubbish at it myself, but I'd love to learn! Medicine cats don't get to hunt very often, though. You warriors have all the luck." She gave Sootpaw an admiring glance as the two of them sat next to the white cat.

"A rabbit?" Sage asked. "They're often difficult to hunt."

Sootpaw opened her mouth, but Bluepaw was already babbling about Sootpaw's catch in her usual Bluepaw fashion. Sootpaw listened to Bluepaw's tale with amusement: apparently Sootpaw had been forced to swim over a river for the rabbit, and then had gone toe-to-toe with a fox to wrestle his prize away.

To his credit, Sage listened through the entire lengthy story without complaint, although he did send a few amused looks in Sootpaw's direction, silently marveling at Bluepaw's imagination.

When Bluepaw finally finished, the two of them immediately dove into the rabbit, while Sage took his time with his own meal. To Sootpaw's surprise, he was joined after a few moments by Nightingale, with Rook trailing after her.

Nightingale signed 'Hello,' to the group, before sitting down. Rook dipped his head to them, looking faintly uncomfortable. He glanced at Nightingale as she signed something to Sootpaw.

"She says that's a nice rabbit," he growled, and Sootpaw smiled, licking a few scraps from her whiskers.

"Thanks. You caught a jay, Nightingale? That's usually pretty difficult, they're so noisy!"

Nightingale flushed at the compliment, twitching her tail with pleasure. Rook scowled down at his own catch, which appeared to be a somewhat elderly mouse.

"She wanted to come with you guys," he meowed, as if worried that they might get the wrong impression about him wanting to spend time with them. "She said I'm not very good company today."

Nightingale's whiskers twitched with amusement, and Sage nodded to her.

"You're welcome to," he meowed. "Rook, how is your leg feeling?"

"Fine," Rook snapped, apparently irritated by Sage bringing the issue up. He began gnawing on his mouse, still looking disgruntled.

Nightingale signed something to Sage, and Rook glanced at them, his brow furrowing.

"She says I'm bein'—"

"A furball," Sage interrupted, with a small smile. "Some ideas are clear no matter how you express them."

Nightingale's blue eyes twinkled with amusement, but Bluepaw seemed intrigued.

"How did you know what she was saying?" she asked. "No offense, Nightingale, but I had no clue."

"We have a few strange cats back home, too," Sage replied. "Some of them can't – or won't – speak. As one of the healers of the group, it's my duty to look after them, so I've become fairly good at reading body language and such. Naturally some of Nightingale's signals are different, but they do share some things in common."

Rook seemed annoyed. "Well, Nightingale an' I made up her signs, so I still know the most."

Sage's green eyes were cool as he looked at the dark rogue. "Of course. I did not mean to imply that I am more knowledgeable than you."

Rook didn't say anything, but attacked his mouse, crunching through bones with a stormy look in his eyes.

_A little jealous, I wonder? _Sootpaw thought, glancing from between the two toms. _I'm sure he's not used to sharing Nightingale with others. They're very good friends, although I wonder…?_

"So," Bluepaw mewed, clearly wanting to break the tension, "are you ever going to tell us about your Rabbitleap-theory?"

Sage choked on his water vole, and Sootpaw's whiskers twitched. She assumed that the white tom had been hoping that Bluepaw would just forget, but of course she was the type to hold onto things.

"Er," Sage said, looking at Nightingale and Rook. "I'm not sure this is the best time."

Nightingale seemed quizzical. She signed something, and pointed towards her stomach with her tail. Rook's ears pricked.

"She's asking if you mean how Rabbitleap is preggers," he meowed.

This time, it was Bluepaw and Sootpaw that choked on their rabbit.

"W-what?" Bluepaw sputtered. "Rabbitleap? Pregnant?" She looked over her shoulder, towards where the gray-and-white warrior was heartily digging into a finch. "_Her?"_

Nightingale seemed alarmed, and she quickly signed something else, her ears flat.

"She thought it was obvious," Rook meowed, watching Nightingale's movements, "since she's been putting on weight and seems continually hungry."

Sage was looking at Nightingale with interest. "That was my thought as well, but I wasn't sure. Did you ever have healing training?"

Nightingale shook her head.

"We talked to a few snooty cats like you," Rook growled. "Thinkin' they know everythin'. Nightingale was interested in that sorta stuff, but we dint stay in the area long."

Sage blinked at her, ignoring Rook's harsh tone. "Perhaps you should consider it. We could always use more cats like you back at my home. Feather and I have our paws full, I'm afraid."

Nightingale flushed underneath her fur. Rook let out another quiet growl.

"We'll decide where we want to be goin' once this is all over an' done with," he snapped. "We might even go back to Twolegplace, maybe, if things with Carmelo settle down."

The mention of Carmelo brought Sootpaw's thoughts back to AshClan. "Do you know much about Carmelo?" she asked. "Have you heard if he has plans for the forest near Twolegplace?"

Rook shrugged. "There were all sorts o' rumors hovering around, but no one really knows, aside from Carmelo's inner circle."

"Inner circle?"

"Carmelo's biggest allies are Flicka and Maggot," Rook explained, looking proud that he too had something valuable to share. "He has some guards that look after 'im too, but no one knows much about them. He's supposed to have his own hidey-hole, but—"

"Excuse me," Bluepaw interrupted, "but have we all completely forgotten that Rabbitleap is _pregnant? _When did that happen, I want to know? And with _who?_"

"She has a mate," Sootpaw meowed mildly. "I don't remember his name. It's not such a big surprise, really. We've been on the journey for nearly a moon now, so if Rabbitleap and her mate did…something before the journey left…."

"But it could make things complicated, when she starts getting really big," Bluepaw mewed, her eyes boring into Rabbitleap's back. "I know it's not really her fault, but it could really slow us down!"

"It's a problem that we will eventually have to face, yes, but if our journey goes smoothly, perhaps it will not be an issue," Sage offered. "I know it took us nearly a moon to get here, but we were confused and somewhat misguided, not to mention that we faced various obstacles." He glanced in Rook's direction. "The journey back should be easier. We will know what to expect and what way to go…and our paws will be lightened, knowing that our journey is nearly completed."

"Are you going to come all the way home with us?" Sootpaw asked him. "Or do you think you'll split near the lake, and head home?"

"I would like to see your home, in truth," Sage admitted. "Minnow has told me about it, and it seems beautiful…not to mention it is my birthplace. But also, we have no foxglove plants in my home, as I mentioned previously, and I would like to bring more seeds than those I possess right now. Your territory has them, yes?"

Bluepaw nodded. "We have plenty. They grow in a couple clumps around the forest. I can show you where."

Sage inclined his head, before flicking his green gaze towards Nightingale. "And then, perhaps, if you wish to come with me—"

"She's not going to your crummy mountains!" Rook blurted, rising to his paws. His thick tail lashed from side to side. "Stop tryin' to take what ain't yours!"

Sage seemed surprised by the outburst, but he remained calm. "I didn't mean to offend you, Rook, I was only offering her a place to stay, where she can follow her interests. We certainly wouldn't keep you out—"

"You're actin' like you know everything, but you don't!" he spat. "You don't know us. All you kin do is read a few signs. Big deal! There's more to us than that. We don't need you. C'mon." He flicked his tail to Nightingale, before storming away, heading into the forest. Nightingale gave the group an apologetic blink, before hurrying after him.

Sage still appeared a bit taken aback. He looked to the two she-cats. "Was I rude, or too brusque?"

Sootpaw's whiskers twitched. "I think Rook and Nightingale might just be having a hard time fitting in. They're used to depending solely on each other, ever since the fire, and I'm sure being with such a large group of cats makes them uncomfortable…and Nightingale probably hasn't made any close friends since the fire. Rook might be a little jealous."

"That's dumb," Bluepaw mewed, twitching her tail. "You should always be happy to have more friends!"

Sootpaw laughed quietly. "That's true for Clan cats, but not always for rogues, now is it?" she asked. "They grew up in a different environment than we did, not to mention that they survived that huge fire. That has to have taken a toll on them." She rose to her paws. "I'll go and see how they're doing. I think out of the three of us, I'm the one that's spoken to them the most."

"Do you want the rest of this?" Bluepaw asked, nudging the rabbit. Sootpaw shook her head – she was full – before turning and following Nightingale and Rook's scents.

Rook had evidently been in a hurry, from the crushed brush and snapped twigs that he had left in his wake. Sootpaw stepped lightly, not wanting to make too much noise. She didn't intend to surprise them, but she didn't want them tensing up for a fight, either.

Ahead of her, she could hear the rumble of Rook's voice, and she slowed. She didn't want to burst on the scene if Nightingale was calming Rook down and they didn't need her, but if Nightingale wasn't having any luck, she would step in.

She fell into a crouch, creeping forward, nosing through a few ferns and blinking as she spotted Rook. He was pacing back and forth, looking agitated; Nightingale was behind him, her blue eyes glistening with concern.

"Can't believe we joined up with these idjits," he growled to himself, tail lashing. "Flickin' morons. We shoulda never gone up against Adder. Shoulda kept our noses clean. Shoulda—"

"You know I hate your accent." Sootpaw's eyes widened as Nightingale spoke, and her ears flattened. The ex-kittypet's voice was low, raspy, and pained, sounding as though it belonged to some half-dead elder, rather than the pretty young she-cat.

_Damage from the smoke, _Sootpaw remembered. _So, she really can talk…but she's ashamed to. She must trust Rook a lot, to share this with him._

Her face heated. She'd been wrong to follow them. Nightingale had this well in paw, and she shouldn't have followed. Sootpaw stepped backwards, trying to back away quietly, only to freeze as a twig snapped underneath one of her heavy paws.

Rook stopped moving immediately, his head jerked towards the sound. Sootpaw held her breath as his green eyes bored into her hiding place.

"Who's there?" he hissed, taking a step forward. "I swear, if it's that smug white dirtface…." He took a step forward, and Sootpaw knew she was cornered. She took a deep breath, and stepped forward.

"I was just coming to see if you were okay," she meowed, her face burning furiously with shame. "I didn't mean to listen in."

Nightingale's eyes widened as she realized that Sootpaw had heard her speak. Her blue eyes filled with hurt and humiliation, and without another word she raced away, disappearing into the forest.

"Now look what you did, you flickin' idiot!" Rook snarled at her, and Sootpaw feared he would leap at her. She took a step back, but he turned away, chasing after Nightingale. "Nightingale, wait!"

Sootpaw hesitated, before taking off after them. "Please, Nightingale, wait!"

"Shove off!" Rook bellowed at her over his shoulder. "We don't need you!"

"I just want to help," Sootpaw meowed, managing to catch up to him. "Please. I don't want Nightingale to think that she has to be ashamed of her voice."

"It's your fault!" Rook spat, shouldering her aside. Sootpaw stumbled, losing several lengths as Rook continued running. Panting slightly, Sootpaw continued to give chase, weaving through the tree trunks and brush as best she could.

She saw that Rook had stopped ahead of her, near a rocky overhang on the side of a slope, and she stopped as well, her heart beating furiously. Rook was peering into the shadows, but he turned and snarled as Sootpaw approached.

"We don't need you!" he spat again, tail lashing from side to side. "Get out of here, or I'll take you on right now."

The accent he usually adopted was gone, evaporating in his anger, and she found a tremor of fear running through her legs. She steeled herself, taking another step closer, ignoring him and staring into the shadows, hoping to see blue eyes. She could hear Nightingale sniffling.

"Nightingale," she mewed, her voice soft and gentle. "I heard you speak, and I know you might be embarrassed, but you don't have to be. Your voice is fine, and the fire wasn't your fault."

Rook blocked her view of the overhang, bristling. "Get out of here. Now."

"Okay," Sootpaw meowed, her ears flattening. She took a step back. "I'll go. Just please tell her that she doesn't have to be scared. There's nothing wrong with her."

She saw Nightingale's white face appear from behind Rook, and nudge his back. He turned towards her, surprised.

"Night—" he started, but she shook her head. Her eyes were faintly misty as she blinked at Sootpaw, and she sniffled again, but didn't move to hide again.

Sootpaw glanced to Rook, wondering if he would object, before she took a step forward. "I understand why you might not want to speak in front of everyone, Nightingale, but your voice doesn't change who you are. You're a very sweet, kind cat, and I know Sage and Bluepaw already like you a lot. If it's difficult for you to speak, and easier to just sign things, I understand…but I don't want you to feel like you have to hide from me just because I heard you." The tips of her ears burned. "I know I shouldn't have hidden, but I was going to try and help…it obviously didn't work out well, and I'm sorry, but…you're beautiful, and your voice won't make anyone think less of you."

A small smile came to Nightingale's face. She hopped the rest of the way out from her hiding place, and trotted towards Sootpaw, touching noses with her.

"Thank you," she rasped, "but I would prefer if you could keep this a secret."

Sootpaw dipped her head. "Of course. If you do want to share this with the others, it should be your choice. I'm sorry."

Nightingale nodded, then looked to Rook, who was watching Sootpaw with suspicion.

"Don't be angry," she said. "Sootpaw meant well. The others do, too. Just give them a chance. You'll always be my closest friend."

Rook shuffled his paws, and looked uncomfortable. "I just don't like sharing you, that's all. I'm used to it just being the two of us. Without you, I don't have anyone to protect…or depend on."

Nightingale's blue eyes softened. "I'll always be your friend," she replied, "but I'm not yours to share."

Rook let out a gusty sigh, and dipped his head. "Whatever. I just don't like Sage's tone. He acts like he knows better."

She noticed that the roguish accent had slipped into his voice again, and considered telling him the same thing she had just said to Nightingale, but decided to file it away for another day. She'd fight one battle at a time.

"Do you want to go back now?" she asked instead. "It's getting dark."

Rook glanced up at the sky, then shrugged. "Whatever."

Nightingale touched Sootpaw's shoulder with her nose, before beckoning Rook with her tail and padding into the forest, heading back to the temporary camp. Sootpaw waited a few moments to give them a head start, before following, ready to curl up with Bluepaw and sleep off the day's stress.


	50. C h a p t e r 49

**C**_**hapter **_**49**

Spiderpaw slipped out of camp, with Blackfeather, Blizzardpaw, and Robinpaw at his side. The four of them padded to the Moss Clearing, as the fat, round moon rose into the sky. Blizzardpaw trotted to the center of the clearing, and Spiderpaw glanced at Blackfeather.

"You've got this," he meowed, flicking his tail against her shoulder. "I'll sit with Robinpaw."

She smiled at him. "Thank you."

She padded towards Blizzardpaw, while Robinpaw and Spiderpaw went to sit down off to the side to watch.

Blackfeather flicked her tail, signaling for Blizzardpaw to begin. He dove at her, but she moved out of the way, and sprang onto her back, buffeting his ears with her paws before leaping off. Blizzardpaw twisted around, trying to strike her with one paw, but she twisted to the side to avoid the move and swept her paws underneath him, sending him stumbling. She pinned him down, then gave him a few words of advice that Spiderpaw couldn't hear, before the two of them broke apart to try again.

"She's good," Robinpaw purred, watching Blackfeather evade Blizzardpaw's every attack, her green eyes twinkling. "I think Blizzardpaw's getting better, though, don't you?"

"He's quick to learn," Spiderpaw meowed, curling his tail around his paws. "But he has trouble adapting. He grew comfortable sparring with me, and since Blackfeather's style is different, he's having some difficulty adjusting. Redpaw fights differently from both of us, so that might make things harder for him."

Robinpaw rolled her eyes. "No reason to be so gloomy, Spiderpaw! We've got plenty of time before his assessment. Blizzardpaw can learn. You taught Blackfeather so well, and I'm sure you can do the same for him."

Spiderpaw's ear flicked. "I didn't really train her. I just helped her overcome her fear, is all. I forced her to confront things she'd rather run away from."

She giggled. "You two are so cute together."

The fur around his shoulders ruffled with irritation. "So you have an opinion on us too, huh?"

Robinpaw blinked at him quizzically. "What do you mean?"

He let out a low growl. "Everyone's always talking like Blackfeather and I have something going on, or something. We don't, and it's getting on my nerves."

Robinpaw's ears flattened. "Oh, I'm sorry…I just thought…well. I know what you mean. Everyone's the same way about Blizzardpaw and me."

His ears pricked. "I don't think it's the same. I mean, no offense, but I've seen you guys together, and there's definitely something going on."

Robinpaw giggled. "Maybe. We're trying to keep it quiet, I guess…and we're just taking it slow, you know? No one's using the l-word yet. So it's not the same as you two, I guess." She watched Blizzardpaw leap into the air, her green eyes glittering. "He's amazing, right?"

Spiderpaw watched Blizzardpaw leap onto Blackfeather's back, and his eyes narrowed as Blizzardpaw smacked her muzzle. He felt oddly irritated, but shook the feeling away. "Yeah. He's pretty good, I guess. He's a nice cat, at least. I hope he passes his assessment."

"He will," Robinpaw purred, watching Blizzardpaw with complete faith etched into every detail on her face. "He's been working really hard to get ready, and Redpaw's just a furball chasing she-cat tails." She wrinkled her nose. "He used to flirt with Leopardpaw all the time, but I guess she turned him down one too many times, so now he's following me around all the time. It's annoying."

Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched. "I don't know why anyone would be interested in Leopardpaw. I don't think she'll ever settle down."

Robinpaw shot him a glance. "Really? I used to think you had a little thing for Leopardpaw. Your rivalry was adorable."

He stared at her with disbelief. "What?"

She shrugged. "Tension can be good for relationships sometimes, that's all, especially since she likes a challenge. But I'm sure she'll find someone. She's pretty, and some toms like a little competition." She grinned at him, and he felt a prickle of suspicion, wondering just how much she knew about the love affairs of her Clanmates.

"Whatever," he said, trying to sound uninterested.

"I don't know why everyone feels like they have to hide what they feel," she continued. "I mean, Blizzardpaw and I danced around it for a little while…but after Birchpool died, we both kinda decided that it was silly to wait around…we haven't really told anyone else because it's not their business, y'know? I mean if they figure it out, like you did, that's fine, but I don't like cats like Redpaw poking around."

He frowned. "Is this some big hint about me and Blackfeather?"

She blinked. "No. Furball. I was talking about someone else…someone you know pretty well…." She giggled, twitching her tail against his flank. "Someone Blackfeather knows pretty well, too."

His mind immediately went to Leopardpaw – they had just been talking about her, after all – but it didn't make much sense for Robinpaw to hint about Blackfeather. Leopardpaw and Blackfeather weren't really friends, and he couldn't think of a time when they had been talking together without anyone else present.

His eyes widened as a calico she-cat popped into his mind. "Petalcloud?"

Robinpaw giggled. "Right in one!" she purred. "I knew you were smart."

Spiderpaw frowned to himself, trying to work out who Petalcloud could possibly be interested in, only to wince as Blizzardpaw hit the ground hard. Blackfeather peered over him anxiously, looking alarmed, only to yelp with surprise as Blizzardpaw sprang to his paws unexpectedly and charged her, managing to knock her down. She regained her footing quickly, but it was still a step in the right direction for the white tom.

Brushing the romantic notions from his mind – what Petalcloud did on her own time was none of his business – he watched the rest of the sparring with interest. Blizzardpaw was improving, just as Robinpaw had said, but only time would tell if it would be enough for him to earn his warrior name.

. . .

The next day was somewhat dull for him. He slept until nearly sunhigh, and trained with Petalcloud until late in the afternoon, learning new techniques that he planned to employ against her son. Petalcloud asked him a few questions, but he didn't elaborate on his training with Jaggedclaw beyond the basics of their sessions. In truth, he was anxious about the scarred tom, and didn't want Petalcloud to go sniffing around him looking for more answers.

He retired to bed shortly after they returned to camp, and slept until Blizzardpaw woke him up for their session. This time, he faced Blizzardpaw alongside Blackfeather, both of them using dizzying speed and combinations of strikes to confuse him. Blizzardpaw struggled, unable to defend himself against two opponents, but that was to be expected. He wouldn't have to spar against two cats, after all, but Spiderpaw had wanted to help him learn how to adapt to unexpected situations. He did manage to pull a few clever moves by the end of the session – using their speed against them by weaving between them in an attempt to get them to strike at each other – which Spiderpaw found heartening.

It was the following day that left him on edge. The Gathering was looming over them, practically on top of their heads, and Spiderpaw was beside himself with anticipation.

He shared breakfast with Blackfeather, and she tried soothing his nerves again.

"You've been working very hard this past moon, and your attitude has changed quite a bit," she mewed, nibbling on their shared finch. "I'm sure your father will recognize you for that."

"Almost all of the apprentices have been working hard, and I was the idiot who got myself kidnapped," he retorted.

"But you were smart enough to sniff out intelligence for us," Blackfeather shot back. "Thanks to you, we know much more about Carmelo's plans than we ever did before."

"I snuck along with you guys to the past few Gatherings," Spiderpaw blurted suddenly. Blackfeather's eyes widened with surprise.

"You what?"

Spiderpaw sighed. "I was jealous after Sootpaw and I were made apprentices, but weren't allowed to go, so we snuck along behind the group and watched from a distance."

"Sootpaw came with you?" Blackfeather's voice rang with disbelief. "I can't really see her bending the rules."

"She only did because I made her," he replied. "And she only came the first time. I went alone the night Silverstar collapsed."

Blackfeather frowned. "Does your father know?"

"No! And don't tell him, either!"

Blackfeather rolled her eyes. "Of course not, Spiderpaw. I wasn't planning on it. But you shouldn't have done it. Only cats that are allowed should go to a Gathering; it's a privilege. If you can't go this time, are you going to sneak along again?"

"So you do think there's the possibility I won't go?" Spiderpaw demanded, his tail flicking from side to side.

The black she-cat sighed, taking a last bite of the finch before pushing the remains towards Spiderpaw. "You're acting crazy, you know. If it matters to you so much, just tell your father, or talk to Silverstar. If you can convince them that you deserve it, I'm sure they'll let you come."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to _beg._"

Blackfeather sighed, and rose to her paws. "Okay, then, just sit here and wait to hear the news. New warriors almost always go, so I'll probably be there. If you are too, we can talk, but until then I'm going to give you your space to act crazy and obsessive, okay?" She gave him a small smile to show that she wasn't angry, before padding away.

He watched her go, his pelt prickling with irritation, before glancing to the medicine den. He didn't want to talk to Eaglestrike – he knew that at least _one _apprentice would be quick to accuse him of making his father play favorites – but talking to Silverstar was a possibility. Even though she was sick, she was still the leader, and had plenty of influence on the Clan.

He finished off the finch, before rising to his paws. He hesitated, then darted towards the fresh-kill pile to grab a squirrel. Silverstar might be more open to the idea of him coming to the Gathering if her belly was pleasantly full.

He hovered in the entrance for a moment, hearing voices whispering inside. He didn't want to interrupt Silverstar if she and Shimmerfrost were having some sort of meeting, but at the same time, he was curious. They could be talking about the Gathering, for all he knew.

_Maybe they're deciding who will go, right at this very moment, _he thought, and leaned closer, ears pricked.

"Are you sure?" he heard Silverstar mew, her voice low and worried.

"Quite." Shimmerfrost's tone was as clipped as ever. "I don't make mistakes like that, and I know that you've suspected it for some time now."

"I did, but I…I didn't want to believe it." Silverstar's voice was weak, almost impossible to hear, and he leaned forward despite himself. It was obvious they weren't talking about the Gathering, but whatever they were discussing was clearly important.

"This time will be different," Forestheart growled. "Nothing's going to happen."

"But if something goes wrong again…I don't think I could bear losing another litter." Silverstar's voice broke, and Spiderpaw went rigid.

_Lose…another litter? _he managed to think, before Shimmerfrost spoke again.

"I can't promise that everything will go correctly," the medicine cat said. "You're ill, and we don't know what the cure for the sickness will turn out to be. It could harm them. It's quite possible that none of them will survive."

"Don't say that!" Forestheart snarled, sounding uncharacteristically aggressive, but Spiderpaw couldn't blame him.

"There's no point in giving her false hope!" Shimmerfrost spat back. "If this litter survives, it will be a miracle…and we all know how those turn out."

Spiderpaw's ears flattened; Shimmerfrost's words were yet another reminder of her callous disregard for her duties as a medicine cat.

_First Goldenshine, now this…does she even believe in StarClan at all?_

"I'll do what I can for her," she continued, "but I cannot make you any promises, and I would not get your hopes up. She might very well lose another life from the sickness before it comes time to deliver them."

Forestheart let out a growl, and gave another aggravated retort, but Spiderpaw shrank away, not wanting to hear anything more. He looked over his shoulder to make sure that no one had seen him crouched near the medicine den.

Leopardpaw's green eyes were watching him, although they betrayed nothing. She was lying on the edge of camp, staring at him, although she flicked her attention away as Fireblaze nudged her. Fireblaze continued on with whatever story he had been telling, and Leopardpaw did not look back at the black apprentice.

He quickly returned the squirrel to the fresh-kill, before shooting another look at the medicine den. What he had just heard felt overwhelming, too much for him to process in the midst of the camp. The chatter of his Clanmates suddenly felt overbearing, deafening, and without a word he sprinted out of camp, racing into the forest.

He continued to run until his breath came in rasps. His paws, which had been flying over the fallen leaves, gradually slowed, until he came to a complete standstill, panting heavily.

_Oh, StarClan, _he thought, looking up at the sky beseechingly.

He took a deep breath, trying to make sense of his tumbling thoughts.

_Silverstar was with kits before, _he mused. _But, something happened to them…it must have been when Chillpaw attacked her…that's why she disappeared for so long. It wasn't just because Chillpaw – her own nephew – betrayed her. It wasn't only because her faith crumpled. It was because she lost an entire litter of kits…who knows how many._

_Is that what turned Shimmerfrost so icy? She was only an apprentice when her brother turned against the Clan, after all…plus Rumble was dying at the time. She had to cope with it all herself….That doesn't excuse her actions, of course, but it might render them the smallest bit understandable._

_But now Silverstar's pregnant again, and still ill…if the others don't get back here soon, it might be too late for her and the kits. Not to mention all of this stress with the rogue Colony and whatever else Carmelo has planned…._

"Spiderpaw?"

He was jolted out of his thoughts by a rough growl, and turned to find Jaggedclaw blinking at him with bemusement.

"What are you doing out here?" the scarred rogue growled. Spiderpaw's ears flattened.

"What are _you _doing out here?" he asked. "We aren't sparring today, are we?"

"We aren't anywhere near the Moss Clearing," Jaggedclaw replied.

Spiderpaw blinked, then sniffed the air and realized the older rogue was correct. Spiderpaw hadn't realized he had been running so quickly; they were very close to the border of the territory, with the Thunderpath.

"I was just, er, hunting," he lied. "What were you doing so far away from camp? Doesn't your shoulder hurt when you walk this far?"

"It does, but I don't mind it," Jaggedclaw answered. "I just needed a little space, that's all. And you weren't hunting, you were gazing up at the sky like a mousebrain."

Spiderpaw flicked his ear with irritation. "I was hunting."

Jaggedclaw shrugged his massive shoulders. "Whatever. Don't stay out here on your own for too long."

He began moving past Spiderpaw, and the apprentice blinked with surprise; he would have thought that the older tom would have tried to pry more out of him.

"You're not even going to ask what I was actually doing?" he blurted. Jaggedclaw paused, glancing at him over his shoulder.

"Actually, I was going to leave you alone, hoping that you'd be able to take the hint," he answered, then sighed. "But if you feel you have to tell me…."

Spiderpaw hesitated; he didn't want to spill Silverstar's secrets, but he wasn't sure he could keep them bottled up. The implications of Silverstar being with kits – and having been in the past – were still overwhelming for him to consider.

His resolve crumpled as he blinked up at Jaggedclaw's steady gaze. Quietly, he related all that he had heard, watching the older tom's expression shift from mild interest to shock.

"That explains quite a bit," was the first thing the tom said when Spiderpaw finished. "I'll admit I've been…resentful towards Shimmerfrost for letting me sit in the elders den when these herbs could have eased my pain, but….I do not envy her now."

He looked towards camp, his single eye narrowed. "You can't tell anyone else, Spiderpaw. This must remain a secret."

"But what if something goes wrong?" Spiderpaw asked. "The complications…what if she kits too early, while she's sick, and she loses a life? Or more than one? There are some wounds that even StarClan can't heal…and even if she does survive, if she loses another litter…it took her so long to recover last time, and she's still not all the way back together."

Jaggedclaw shook his head. "There's nothing we can do. It's up to Shimmerfrost, and StarClan. They're the only ones that can help her now, and if we tell the Clan it will only spread panic. The last thing we need now with the rogue threat and sickness is chaos spreading through our minds."

"She won't be able to hide it forever," Spiderpaw said. "Not when she starts getting…bigger. Patrols still report to her on occasion, and other cats visit from time to time. She can't keep it concealed."

"Perhaps not, but when it is revealed, I don't know what will happen, and it's best to wait," he replied. "Are you coming back to camp now?"

"I don't know," Spiderpaw meowed, his ears flattening. "I'm not sure I can look my Clanmates in the eyes without blurting it out…especially to Blackfeather, since she's pretty good about knowing when I'm—"

He cut off, and blinked, remembering Blackfeather's words after they had reported Goldenshine, Volewhisker, and Twigstripe's attack to Silverstar. He frowned as he remembered how confused she had seemed…and then how worried she had been later, when they told Silverstar about PeakClan moving camps.

_Does she suspect…? _

"Spiderpaw?" Jaggedclaw growled, snapping him out of his thoughts.

He shook himself. "Sorry. I think I'll stay out here a bit longer, if you don't mind."

Jaggedclaw shrugged again. "It's no fur off my tail. Just be careful."

Spiderpaw nodded, and watched the older warrior limp off, disappearing into the brush, before he continued on, walking to take his mind off of the problems back at camp.

_I can't tell anyone, _he thought. _Jaggedclaw's right, it would only stir up panic…and cats are worried enough about Silverstar as it is. I wouldn't be doing anyone any good…plus I'm sure Silverstar doesn't want that sort of pressure on her shoulders. Being a leader is probably hard enough…_

He stopped as he realized he had drifted even closer to the Black Stream and Thunderpath. He looked up the slope, watching the monsters race over the dark path, before glancing towards the tunnel that led underneath of it. To his surprise, he saw the gleam of eyes.

_Rogues, _he thought, letting out a low growl. Disregarding Jaggedclaw's earlier warning, he charged forward, racing up to the tunnel. He peered into the gloom, blinking as he recognized the large, hulking form.

"Hello, little scrap," Tubs said. "How are you?"

Spiderpaw only stared at him for a moment. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I'm supposed to be hunting," he said, "but now that you're here, I think the odds of me actually doing so are quite slim."

"Can't you just stay on your own territory?" Spiderpaw hissed. "It's the middle of leaf-bare. We need all the prey we can catch."

"I know." Tubs sounded embarrassed. "I was just hoping for some easier hunting, is all. Fern's still angry about you escaping. I wasn't allowed to eat for two days." He heaved a sigh. "Worst two days of my life."

Spiderpaw's fur ruffled. "That wasn't your fault."

"I shouldn't have fallen asleep," Tubs replied, "but it wasn't just me. Fern was sore at everyone, for whatever reason. Even Baron was staying out of her way."

Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched. "Did he go running off to Carmelo to tell him how he failed to hold onto me?"

Tubs blinked. "No. Carmelo's not in Twolegplace."

Spiderpaw's ears pricked. "What?" He tried to remember the conversation that he had overheard between Baron and Fern. "I thought Baron spoke to him before."

Tubs shook his head. "We thought that too, at first, but Fern told us later that Carmelo was out in the territory, talking to more allies. Apparently he's been gone since this Colony set out. Baron didn't know until he got back to Twolegplace to talk to him about you."

Spiderpaw's brow furrowed. "Then who did he talk to?"

"Flicka's been the one relaying most of Carmelo's instructions," Tubs meowed. "Apparently he had a lot of time to make plans. Most of these he's told to Flicka and Maggot, and they've been carrying them out…with some flair of Maggot's own, I suppose."

Spiderpaw's fur suddenly bristled as he recalled something. "There was a patrol of Clan cats attacked some time ago. It was near GreenRocks, and one of our warriors was badly wounded. Was that Maggot's doing?"

"I would assume so," Tubs said. "Carmelo wouldn't want to provoke you all like that, but Maggot's noticeably a little more…unstable. Was the injured warrior okay?"

Spiderpaw's ears flattened as he remembered Birchpool's bloody body. "No."

Tubs's eyes clouded. "I'm sorry. I don't think that was Carmelo, though…I'd say that Maggot was acting outside of his orders, if he was the one to send them out to attack you all."

Spiderpaw looked away, trying to think. _The conversation that I overheard…they only mentioned Carmelo once. They said they had to trust him. I thought they meant whatever Carmelo had decided to do with me…but what if it was about them trusting his judgment of Flicka and Maggot? And about the other stuff…Carmelo wouldn't have been able to plan what to do in case the Colony happened to kidnap a valuable apprentice, but I suppose he would have given Flicka and Maggot orders to further whatever his true plans are. So is the 'her' he was talking about Flicka, since they wouldn't have communicated in some time if he's been gone? Or was it someone else?_

He turned away from Tubs. "Go back to your territory. I won't tell anyone you were over here, and it will be hard for them to scent you beneath the muck of the tunnel."

Tubs purred quietly. "Thank you, little scrap. I'll make more of an effort to stick to our territory, as appealing as yours might be."

Spiderpaw heard him shift his weight, before letting out a quiet sigh. He glanced over to find Tubs frowning at his considerable girth, and Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched as he realized that the large tom wouldn't be able to turn around and pad out of the tunnel; he would have to wiggle backwards the entire way. He laughed quietly, but didn't stick around to watch the gray tom struggle, instead breaking into a gentle lope in the direction of his own camp.

. . .

He shuffled his paws eagerly, blinking up at his father. Eaglestrike was atop the BranchPile, waiting for the rest of the Clan to gather before he announced who would be attending the Gathering. He glanced over his shoulder, looking for Blackfeather, and found her next to her brother. She gave him a little smile, before returning her attention to their deputy.

"Silverstar and I have discussed who will be going to the Gathering tonight," his father began.

_Did she also tell you about the litter she's carrying? _he wondered.

"We've decided that Darkstorm, Fireblaze, Blackfeather, Petalcloud, Jaggedclaw, Leopardpaw, Robinpaw, and Spiderpaw will be going," Eaglestrike meowed.

Robinpaw bounced over to Darkstorm, but Spiderpaw didn't watch the dark tom's reaction. His eyes were on Jaggedclaw, who seemed stunned by the idea.

Eaglestrike smiled down at the scarred tabby. "I know you've been helping my son with his training, and Shimmerfrost has reported that your mobility has improved. The Gathering is close enough for you to make it without too much difficulty, correct?"

Jaggedclaw blinked, then quickly nodded. "Yes. It shouldn't be a problem." He bowed his head. "Thank you."

Eaglestrike smiled. "It was Silverstar who reminded me," he meowed, before flicking his tail to the others. "I'll be leading the Gathering tonight. We decided it wasn't best to tax Silverstar's strength, until she is well again."

He sprang off of the BranchPile, and glanced up at the sky. Spiderpaw followed his gaze, seeing the fat, round moon beginning to rise into the sky.

He rose to his paws, trotting towards Jaggedclaw, who still seemed to be a little dazed. He grinned, pushing the older tom with one paw playfully.

"Didn't think you'd be going to another Gathering, now did you?" he purred.

Jaggedclaw shook his head. "I'd given up on ever seeing a Gathering moons ago."

Spiderpaw blinked. "Oh, that's right. You were injured before the Clans had their first Gathering…well, I guess this will be new for both of us, then."

"Spiderpaw!"

He turned as Blackfeather meowed his name, and found her padding towards him, her golden eyes glowing.

"I told you there was nothing to worry about," she purred, licking his ear. Fireblaze had followed her, and seemed amused as Spiderpaw's ears burned with embarrassment.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to nuzzle you," the ginger tom said, and Blackfeather gave him a scolding look, flicking her tail against his muzzle.

"You were right," Spiderpaw said to Blackfeather. "It still seems surreal, though. I can't believe I'm actually going to be there with everyone."

"Try not to freak out when you see Northstar, okay?" Fireblaze asked. "That would be embarrassing. He's cool and all, but try to control yourself."

Spiderpaw wanted to retort that he had already seen Northstar at two Gatherings – and had almost been ratted out by him – but kept his mouth shut. The last thing he needed was for word to get back to his father about his sneaking along in the past.

He was trying to come up with a response that wouldn't get him in trouble when Eaglestrike yowled, signaling that the Clan was leaving. Fireblaze immediately turned away from the black apprentice, padding to join Leopardpaw. Blackfeather followed, and Spiderpaw headed after her, before pausing to wait for Jaggedclaw. Although he had made progress considering the state he had been in before, he was still quite slow, and paused now and then to rest.

Eaglestrike was careful to slow the pace so they didn't leave Jaggedclaw behind, and by the time they reached the riverbank, Spiderpaw's body was humming with anticipation.

To his surprise, the PeakClan cats had not yet arrived. Eaglestrike hesitated before padding down the bank, glancing around as if the PeakClan cats might just materialize.

"What if they aren't coming?" Fireblaze growled.

"They'll come," Eaglestrike said, inserting certainty into his voice. "No matter what troubles they might be having, Stonestar wouldn't miss a Gathering."

He hopped onto the large, smooth rocks where the leaders sat, tucking his tail around his paws and looking over to the PeakClan's side of the river. As if on cue, ghostly figures appeared, their pelts dyed silver by the moonlight. They padded forward with deliberate slowness, their eyes glinting dully.

Stonestar was in the lead, and Spiderpaw felt a twinge of unease as he realized the gray tom looked even more haggard than when he'd last seen him. He exchanged glances with Blackfeather, seeing the same worry etched onto her face.

Behind Stonestar was his deputy, and Spiderpaw felt a prickle of excitement as he recognized Northstar's white coat. He also seemed tired, but his head was held high, and his golden eyes were still sharp as they flicked over the AshClan cats.

"We apologize for our lateness," Stonestar rumbled as the last of his cats reached the Gathering's bank. He sprang onto the stone with Eaglestrike.

The PeakClan and AshClan cats stared at each other for a long moment. Spiderpaw's eyes flicked over them, noting every unkempt clump of fur, every rib, every wheeze of breath.

He recognized Twigstripe; the thin tom blanched as he saw him, but Spiderpaw gave him a small nod. He couldn't remain angry with any of the PeakClan cats, not when they looked half-starved and ill.

The stand-off was broken when Robinpaw padded forward to speak with one of the apprentices – Shrewpaw, the brother of Swanpaw and deceased Snowpaw. Both Clans began to mingle, as AshClan cats made sure their PeakClan friends were alright, and PeakClan inquired about Silverstar's health.

Spiderpaw found himself standing before Northstar, who gazed down at him with cool yellow eyes. He swallowed, remembering how easily the older tom had been able to spot him before, when he had been hiding to watch the Gathering from afar. He waited for the deputy to bring it up, but Northstar only said,

"Good to see you here," before padding away. Spiderpaw looked after him, wishing that someday he might be as large and strong as PeakClan's deputy, before letting out an inward sigh.

Looking for another PeakClan cat to speak with, his eyes widened as he spotted Shimmerfrost. She was not chatting with Goldenshine, as he would have expected, but with Hawktalon, whose mate had gone on the journey.

To any other cat, their conversation might have seemed amicable, but Spiderpaw knew of Shimmerfrost's adventures after nightfall. He could see the way her eyes were glowing alluringly, how when she touched Hawktalon's pelt with her tail, it was a moment too long, how her dainty purr was calculatingly drawn out.

To Hawktalon's credit, he did not seem interested in her flirtations. He finally gave her a curt nod, before padding away to speak with Petalcloud. Spiderpaw's eyes remained on Shimmerfrost, and he tensed as she walked past Goldenshine. She did not look at him, but his yellow eyes followed her with strange hunger, and a touch of jealousy.

_She's tired of her plaything, _Spiderpaw guessed. _She's looking for someone new to hold her interest._

He looked away from her, not wanting to see her pursuing more toms when there was nothing that he could do about it. Instead, he looked for Jaggedclaw, and found him sitting off to the side. A few PeakClan cats were giving him nervous looks, but none of them seemed willing to approach him.

Spiderpaw padded towards the scarred tom, taking a seat beside him. Jaggedclaw looked down at him, and shook his head.

"Go on," he growled. "Talk to others. You only get the opportunity once a moon. You can talk to me any time."

"You're more interesting than they are," Spiderpaw said with a small smile. "Besides, I'm pretty sure at least a few of them know that I was one of the cats that stopped them from getting the snowberry plant."

Jaggedclaw only grunted in response, before coughing quietly. Spiderpaw's ears flattened. If Jaggedclaw was sick and hiding it, it was possible that others were as well. It might only be a matter of time before AshClan seemed just as downtrodden as their neighbor.

He glanced over the group, wondering where Blackfeathe was, but couldn't spot her. He did see Robinpaw, who had dragged Shrewpaw over to meet Darkstorm. The black tom seemed faintly uncomfortable, but did not protest or try to get away, even when Robinpaw beamed up at him and nosed his flank affectionately, before chatting along to Shrewpaw.

_At least he's making an effort, _he thought, before looking up at the stones, where the leaders and deputies were supposed to sit. Northstar had taken his place beside Stonestar, but AshClan's side was noticeably barren with Eaglestrike in Silverstar's place and his own barren.

_Are we ever going to be able to have a normal Gathering? _he wondered, tilting his head back to look up at the sky. _Is there ever going to be a time when our leader isn't ill, or the Clan isn't in mortal peril? I'm almost envious of those rogues in the marsh. They don't seem to have this problem at all._

Then, he blinked as something occurred to him._ Shouldn't they be sick? I suppose it makes sense for Carmelo to only have chosen those that are healthy to be a part of his Colony…but there should be many sick cats in Twolegplace. They were around TalonClan, after all; many of the new Twolegplace cats were even once a part of it. So why haven't they come looking for the snowberry plant, or something similar?_

His brow furrowed. _Perhaps they've built up an immunity…but how? The chilling disease is a new thing for us…what if we've been thinking about this all wrong? I think we all assumed that the chilling disease came from the TalonClan cats during the battle…but what if it was carried by the Twolegplace cats too?_

He was snapped out of his thoughts as Eaglestrike let out a yowl, signaling for the news-sharing part of the Gathering to begin.

"Care to go first?" Eaglestrike asked Stonestar, but the gray tom shook his head. Eaglestrike shrugged, before rising to his paws.

"Much has happened to our Clan in the last moon," Eaglestrike said. "Early on we were finding signs of the presence of Carmelo's rogues. We found their markings and scents scattered over the territory and our borders, but things became serious when a group of rogues attacked one of our patrols. We thank Northstar for his intervention." He nodded to the white tom. "However, we are sorry to say that we lost one of our Clanmates, Birchpool, who died from complications resulting from her injuries."

The group was silent for a moment in respect for the fallen warrior, before Eaglestrike continued.

"Later in the moon, we found a patrol of rogues in our territory. Our patrol came back to regroup, then attacked. Unfortunately, one of our apprentices was captured, but we managed to rescue him. We thank Leopardpaw for her aid in this."

The golden apprentice stared up at Eaglestrike unblinkingly, as the eyes of the PeakClan warriors fell to her. Spiderpaw's ears heated, even though none of them were looking in his direction.

"The captured apprentice relayed news to us; Carmelo is apparently creating 'Colonies' to move out cats from Twolegplace, where it is too crowded," Eaglestrike went on. "He doesn't have plans for our territories that we know of, but he is focused on the marsh."

"Did you run the rogues out?" Stonestar inquired, and Eaglestrike shook his head.

"Silverstar and I came to an agreement; we will let the rogues have the marsh, so long as they respect our borders," he said. "Of course, some of the marsh falls on your side of the river, so we cannot enforce our rule upon the entire area."

"Finally, we would like to honor Blackfeather and Jaggedclaw. Blackfeather was named a warrior this moon, and most of you are familiar with Jaggedclaw, who suffered injuries during the battle with Lion. He has started to recover thanks to a new combination of herbs from Shimmerfrost."

Spiderpaw's ears pricked as he noticed that Eaglestrike had avoided the topic of PeakClan invading AshClan's territory for the snowberry plant.

_I suppose Stonestar will address that, _he thought, as Eaglestrike nodded for Stonestar to take his turn.

Stonestar rose to his paws with a quiet sigh.

"I'm not going to lie to you," he meowed. "PeakClan has suffered this past moon, and it is easy to see. Our cats continue to fall ill and die due to this chilling disease. We've lost some warriors that I have known my entire life, and we will mourn them all deeply.

"Our warriors have been focused on hunting and scouting for herbs, so training apprentices has been slowed. We too have had rogue scents on our territory, although we have not had any conflicts with them yet.

"To put it quite bluntly, we require more of the snowberries," he growled. "They do seem to slow the process of the disease, and we have more sick cats than AshClan, not to mention that the remaining plant was brought here by one of our cats."

"Silverstar understands your need, but we have already conceded more of the berries to you," Eaglestrike said. "We need to make sure that we have enough for Silverstar and Jaypaw, and any other cats that might fall ill."

Stonestar drew himself up, and it was quickly apparent that he was much larger and stronger than Eaglestrike, even weakened by the sickness ravaging his Clan.

"Our numbers have fallen, but do not think us weak," Stonestar growled. "If we must fight you for these berries, then we shall. Make no mistake of that. I will not let my Clan suffer while you hoard the snowberries 'just in case.'"

"PeakClan isn't strong enough to patrol their own border, let alone attack us," Fireblaze spat, rising to his paws. Eaglestrike silenced him with a glare, but nodded.

"It came to AshClan's attention that your border was being neglected a few days ago. A few warriors on patrol noticed movement near the Peak. Would you care to explain this?" His yellow eyes met Stonestar's without a trace of fear, and a chill ran down Spiderpaw's spine.

To his surprise, Stonestar's shoulders slumped. Weariness entered his gaze, and he nodded.

"We did neglect our borders for a short time," he said. "We had more pressing issues to attend to…namely the moving of our camp."

Eaglestrike's ears pricked, as if he was surprised. "You moved camp? Why?"

Every AshClan eye was on Stonestar as he mulled over his reply.

"The Peak had become too crowded," he said finally. "For years now, we have buried our dead as close to StarClan as we can reach…and for years, these activities have escalated as our population swelled. This recent rush of deaths was more than we had ever anticipated, and the land that we thought could last for moons to come is now reaching a finite end. To put it simply, we are running out of room to bury the bodies that this chilling disease has created."

He bowed his head. "It's too treacherous to carry a body down from the Peak, with the path being as narrow and slippery as it is. We can't risk losing more warriors that way, and so we have been forced to move. Every sick cat that could walk with assistance came with us. Those that could not…were eased into the afterlife."

He rasped his tongue over his muzzle, his voice ringing with defeat. "The Peak is no longer our home."

Surprise rippled through the ranks of the gathered cats, but Spiderpaw found himself unable to speak, simply gazing up at Stonestar. He had never imagined _burials _being the source of PeakClan's move.

_For cats so full of pride to give up their home…they must be in dire straits, even more so than we thought. They have no resistance to the chilling disease, and it's making swift work of their Clan. By the time the journeying cats get back…it might be too late._

Eaglestrike's ears flattened, and he seemed shaken. "We did not know that this was the case."

Stonestar's head rose once more. "I hope you now understand how much we need the berries. We have little led to lose, and I promise you that if it take a battle to win them, then we will fight will all of our might."

AshClan's deputy stiffened, and at that moment, a cloud passed over the move. Every head snapped towards the sky, watching the eerie silver light struggle to pierce the belly of the cloud.

"The Gathering is over," Stonestar growled, rising to his paws. "We will give you a day to speak with Silverstar, and we will come to get your response tomorrow evening. Make sure it is the right one."

With that, he sprang down and flicked his tail to his Clan, summoning them to follow him. Eaglestrike watched the PeakClan cats file over the stepping stones, before nodding to his own Clan and leaping down.

"Let's go home," he said, his voice low, before padding up the bank. The rest of AshClan followed suit, their paws heavy and their minds consumed by dark thoughts.

**AN: Robinpaw's our little Shipper On Deck. I wouldn't be surprised if she made a shipping wall in the back of their den somewhere.**

**I'm making it my mission to cram as many pregnancies into the story as I can. We had six in Shattered that we actually saw while prggers that I can think of off the top of my head – Frostfeather, Nightshade, Clover, Ravenwing, Rosedapple, and Graywing – so I've made it my main objective to beat that record. Forget the plot, pregnant she-cats will stretch all the way across the sky.**

**For the grand finale every female we've ever heard of will show up pregnant.**_** And it will be glorious.**_


	51. C h a p t e r 50

**C**_**hapter **_**50**

_She felt the familiar tug associated with the journeying cats, and when she opened her eyes, she was not disappointed. They were huddled together as a group, near the river; looking up at the sky, she saw the sliver of moon beaming down on them faintly, surrounded by twinkling stars._

Does StarClan still tread here, _she wondered, _or are they beyond even StarClan's reach? I don't think they ever do find SkyClan, or if they do then they must not be able to bring them home. But why show me a journey that only ends in futility?

_She blinked as she realized that two of the apprentices were stirring. They were both from ThunderClan, she remembered, although it took her a little longer to draw up their names from her memory: Foxpaw and Birchpaw._

_The dream pulled her closer to them, and she leaned in, wondering what the two of them were up to. It was Foxpaw's head who rose first, as his keen eyes glanced over the sleeping cats. He turned around, looking in all directions to make sure that the others were asleep, before reaching over with one paw to touch Birchpaw's side. Her eyes opened slowly, and she yawned, seeming fairly bewildered as she stared into the face of the cat who had woken her up. Foxpaw winked at her, and rose to his feet, carefully stepping over his sleeping mentor. Birchpaw followed suit, with a furtive look over her shoulder, and the two of them trotted upstream. Sootpaw was tugged after them whether she liked it or not, but her curiosity would have forced her on anyway._

_The area was thinly wooded, with a few strong trees having rooted themselves in the rocky earth. She couldn't make out the color of the soil in the dim light, but was willing to bet it was white or pale orange, as most rocky areas were. The air was colder, too, and didn't carry even the faintest scent of Twolegplace, so she assumed they had moved beyond it. She wasn't sure how much time had taken place for them since her last area, but she could hardly stop and ask._

_Her eyes widened as she remembered Whitecloud, and she looked over her shoulder, but the sleeping cats were already out of sight. Her ears flattened as she looked back towards the two apprentices, who were continuing on without fear. Birchpaw kept close to Foxpaw, and her ears were lowered slightly with discomfort; Sootpaw guessed this was more than just a midnight stroll. _

_Foxpaw slowed down, holding his tail up as a signal for the gray apprentice to stop as well. Sootpaw hovered behind them, peering into the shadows of the trees, wondering what the ginger tom had spotted._

_A ghostly figure made his way forward, his tabby pelt dark underneath the twisted branches. His gold eyes gleamed as he saw the two kits, and he smiled, the tip of his tail twitching from side to side._

_"So glad you two could come," he purred, and every hair on Sootpaw's pelt rose. His voice was like warm honey, lingering in the air for a brief moment before fading away. There was an odd calm to his face, a strange, serene certainty, as he blinked at the two apprentices._

_"We snuck away, as you asked," Foxpaw said. "Now, what was it that you had to tell us that you couldn't during the day?"_

_The tabby say down, curling his striped tail around his paws. "I feared we would be interrupted, and I was almost right. You're lucky I heard Fogheart approaching, or you two would have been caught speaking with me. I know Fogheart is more lenient than most, but even he wouldn't approve of you talking to a stranger."_

_Birchpaw's fur ruffled. "How do you know Fogheart?"_

_"I've a keen ear and quick eyes," was all the tabby tom said, before giving them a faint smile. "I know what your group is looking for, and I know you have not yet found it."_

_The two apprentices exchanged glances, before Foxpaw said, _

_"Can you help us? Do you know where SkyClan is?"_

_The tom paused, drawing the moment out, before dipping his head. "Yes. They passed through this area not too long ago. They were a noisy bunch, poking their noses where they didn't belong. You all are going in the right direction, but you'll need to separate yourselves from this river shortly. Keep heading north. They have settled in a valley by the sea."_

_Sootpaw's pelt crawled as the rogue tom spoke - there was something not quite right about him, something off - but the two apprentices seemed ecstatic. They looked at one another, eyes glowing in the dim light._

_"I can't believe it," Birchpaw whispered. "Fogheart will be so happy!"_

_"Everyone will be," Foxpaw grinned, and looked about to say something else before the strange tom cut him off with a flick of his tail._

_"You mustn't speak of this to the warriors," he instructed. "They might not believe you. You wouldn't want to miss SkyClan because they won't listen, now would you?"_

_The apprentices exchanged glances._

_"Of course not," Birchpaw mewed, "but Fogheart is understanding. He believed in Smoke, who tried to warn us about the add-"_

_"But are they all as understanding as him?" the silver-tongued tom pressed. "You don't think the others would have the slightest wiggling doubt about this? I'm a stranger to them, and a rogue. They would never let me get a word in. That's why I had to come to you; I could see that you two were both intelligent and keen enough to make the correct decision."_

_He leaned in, his honey eyes glimmering as he whispered, "Tell them you had a dream about the valley. Tell them they must leave the river. Tell them they must head north. If you don't, SkyClan will be lost to you forever."_

_With that, the rogue swiftly drew himself up. "I trust you two to make the right decision."_

_He wheeled about and raced away, quickly disappearing from view. Foxpaw and Birchpaw looked at each other once more, confusion in their eyes._

_"We can't lie to Fogheart," Birchpaw said. "It would be wrong."_

_"But if SkyClan really is to the north…we can't just disregard that either." Foxpaw's voice was low and heavy. "We might have to lie, to ensure that our mission is a success. Don't you want to go home?"_

_"More than anything," Birchpaw answered, her eyes swimming with memories of her family and Clan. Foxpaw leaned in, pressing his nose between her ears, and she rested her head against his chest with a quiet sigh. "If we don't have a choice…then I suppose we must lie."_

_"We can tell him the truth once we find SkyClan. He'll understand."_

_The dream began to fade around Sootpaw, and she felt herself being tugged away. She dug her claws into the ground, not wanting to leave - she had to warn them, to tell them not to trust the mysterious tabby - but there was nothing she could do. Foxpaw and Birchpaw faded into mist as the scene ended, leaving her wondering what would befall the journeying cats because of the good intentions of two gullible apprentices._

She opened her eyes to find that the sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon. Shaking her head, she sat up with a sigh. Bluepaw was still asleep beside her, her blue-gray flanks rising and falling evenly. Sootpaw knew that she should nuzzle her awake and tell her of her dream, but she hesitated. No matter what she had told Bluepaw earlier, she still wasn't entirely comfortable with the medicine apprentice taking the credit for her dreams.

_Besides, _she told herself, _the message is pretty clear. Steer away from any rogue toms offering help. I don't think that would be much of a problem for most of us anyway._

As if on cue, there was a crackle in the brush, and she stiffened, bristling with caution. A tabby head pushed through the ferns, but Sootpaw let out a breath of the relief as she recognized Reedrush's green eyes.

"You're up early," the silver she-cat mewed, padding forward. A rabbit swung in her jaws, and she dropped it to the ground near Thistlethorn.

"So are you," Sootpaw said, glancing down towards piece of fresh-kill. "I just woke up and couldn't get back to sleep."

Reedrush nodded. "Same here. I had a dream about the Clan, and…." She sighed quietly. "I didn't want to close my eyes again, so I figured I might as well spend my time wisely."

Sootpaw blinked up at her with curiously. "Was yours a good dream or bad?"

Reedrush's green eyes clouded over. "Bittersweet."

Sootpaw felt a prickle of sympathy for the silver warrior; it was a reminder that even though her dreams were bad, normal cats had many an unhappy night as well.

"It might be awhile before everyone else wakes up," she mewed. "The other day…we were supposed to do battle training, but something happened with Rook and Nightingale, so we didn't really get the chance…do you think we could now, while everyone's still asleep?"

Reedrush purred. "That sounds perfect, Sootpaw."

She flicked her tail, before trotting towards the trees. Sootpaw blinked - for a moment, the tabby tom's disappearing form had flashed through her mind - before following.

Every hair on her pelt was raised as they padded through the forest together, and she jumped at every sound, imagining a rogue watching them with amused golden eyes. If Reedrush noticed her anxiety, she showed no sign of it, continuing on with a faraway look in her eyes. Sootpaw wondered again what she had dreamed of, but decided not to ask. All sorts of terrible things had happened in Reedrush's past - the death of her father, the madness and disappearance of her mother, the destruction of her Kalan - and in more recent times, such as her fight with Jaggedclaw before she left on the journey. Any one of these might have conjured up a dream described only as 'bittersweet.'

The trees gave way to a small clearing, covered in tall grass. It was a little cramped, with the roots and branches of trees on both sides straining to reach one another, but there was room enough for both she-cats to spar, so long as they were careful.

Reedrush trotted forward and flattened down some of the grass, creating a circle within which they could face one another. Sootpaw stepped forward hesitantly, feeling clumsy and heavy-pawed. Reedrush gave her a kind smile.

"You haven't had much battle training, right?" she asked, and Sootpaw nodded. "It's not very difficult. Basically, you learn moves and try to figure out how to prepare yourself for attacks from all sorts of opponents. You try to use your own body's strengths to your advantage, and watch for your weaknesses to maintain the upper paw. Now, first thing's first."

She crouched, sweeping her tail from side to side. "You're a bit of a large cat, Sootpaw, and when you grow up you're going to be very strong. Strong cats capitalize on this: their styles are powerful and decisive, because they can't wait around to let their opponent take control of the battle. Stronger cats must dominate the battlefield, because otherwise they leave themselves open to attacks from their smaller foes. I know this isn't really your personal style - you're a more withdrawn, shy cat - but it's something you have to get used to.

"Now, attack me."

Sootpaw hesitated. "I thought I wasn't supposed to attack first? Isn't that foolish?"

"Like I said, strong cats have to be decisive. It's up to _you _to control the flow of battle. Unless you're facing a smaller, hot-headed opponent who will attack first and open himself up to weakness - like you're brother - it's up to you to make the first move. You'll have the strength to continue on even when your strategy is exposed, and the battle will begin on your terms, not your opponents." Her eyes gentled. "I know it's difficult for you, but don't be afraid."

Sootpaw hesitated, and took in a deep breath, before lunging forward. The thudding of her paws against the soft grass was unnerving, and she faltered as she drew closer to Reedrush. The silver tabby leaped to the side, avoiding her with ease, and countered with a cuff to her ear.

Sootpaw stopped and turned to face Reedrush again, panting slightly.

"You lost your nerve there at the end," her mentor said. "You can't waver, not even for an instant. Your opponent will sense your weakness and use it to his advantage. Try it again, and don't hesitate this time."

Sootpaw nodded, and crouched, trying to put more intensity in her gaze as she met Reedrush's eyes. She let out a low growl, psyching herself up, before lunging forward. This time she moved faster, but she skidded to a stop as Reedrush reared onto her hind paws. She blinked up at the silver tabby with fear, and Reedrush threw herself forward, coming down on Sootpaw with all her weight. Sootpaw was flattened against the ground, and no matter how she struggled she couldn't escape Reedrush's grip. She finally gave up, going limp with a sigh.

Reedrush let her up, and Sootpaw felt shame creep over her face as she saw the disappointment in Reedrush's eyes. The tabby tried to mask it with an encouraging smile, but Sootpaw's heart fell.

_She must think she's cursed somehow, to have apprentices that are hopeless at fighting, _Sootpaw thought, her ears drooping. _Poor Blackpaw. She's probably still trying to become a warrior…I can't let Reedrush down like that. I have to try, for her._

"Can I give it another go?" she asked. Reedrush nodded, taking a few steps back and tensing to prepare for her attack. Sootpaw faced her, letting out a soft breath to steady her nerves.

_There's nothing to be afraid of, _she thought. _Chillpaw was right, before. I'm not assertive enough…I'm a coward, too afraid to face my own mentor in battle. And he was right about Moonpaw, too; she's something that I can never attain. I'll never be small and slim, like I want to be…but I have to make the best of it and put my best paw forward._

She looked down, a slight smile curling her muzzle as she saw her white paw. _One paw in StarClan, just like Mother said. She always thought that Spiderpaw and I would have some grand destiny. Maybe we won't, but I'm certain that I wasn't meant to just be a fumbling mousebrain. Better things are in store for me, I _know _it. I just have to try._

She flicked her gaze back to Reedrush, and this time her yellow eyes were narrowed with certainty. Reedrush seemed to see the change that had come over her, and her fangs flashed as she grinned, her tail sweeping from side to side.

"Be decisive," the tabby meowed, just as Sootpaw burst forward, channeling all of her jealousy towards Spiderpaw, her anxieties about her dreams, her self-consciousness, and her longing for what she could not have into her paws. She barreled right into Reedrush, knocking the silver tabby over. The warrior let out a yowl of surprise, and Sootpaw's concentration broke just long enough to let her scramble back up to her paws.

"That was excellent!" Reedrush meowed, a slight pant in her voice. "I didn't know you had that in you, Sootpaw. My shoulder kind of aches now." She stretched, and Sootpaw's brow furrowed with worry.

"Are you okay?" she asked, and Reedrush nodded quickly.

"Better than alright. If you can put that energy into every blow - wherever you got it from - you'll be a fierce fighter indeed." Reedrush's green eyes glowed with excitement. "Let's try it again."

. . .

She and Reedrush padded back into camp, both slightly weary but also invigorated. A vole was clutched tightly in Sootpaw's jaws; the little bugger had managed to dash away from her, but Reedrush had been there to prevent it from escaping, and Sootpaw had managed to kill it. It was no rabbit, but Sootpaw was proud of it anyway.

However, her pride faded as they heard raised, angry voices. Exchanging glances, the two she-cats picked up the pace, stopping as they saw the cause of the commotion. Thistlethorn was snarling at Rabbitleap, who seemed surprised and a little frightened. Swanpaw was beside her, hissing back up to the blue-gray tom without any trace of fear in her sharp blue eyes.

The other cats were standing around, looking rather helpless or surprised, so Sootpaw assumed that the argument had just begun. She looked to Reedrush, wondering what they should do, and her ears flattened as she saw the tabby's green eyes were narrowed with anger.

"What exactly is going on here?" she demanded, striding forward. All heads turned towards her, and Thistlethorn had the grace to look sheepish, before he growled,

"Rabbitleap has been keeping something from us."

Sootpaw immediately looked to Bluepaw, who gave her a helpless shrug. 'Sorry,' the blue-gray apprentice mouthed, and Sootpaw let out an inward sigh.

"I didn't know before now either," Rabbitleap protested. "It was a surprise to me too!"

"That's a load of-" Thistlethorn started to say, but Swanpaw interrupted him.

"It was out of her control anyway!" the ginger-and-white she-cat spat. "If she really is carrying kits, then it must have happened before she left for the journey. How was she supposed to predict that?"

"She should have been smart enough not to sidle up next to her mate before volunteering!" Thistlethorn exclaimed.

"She was probably just looking for comfort! You don't even _have _a mate, so how can you judge her?" Swanpaw's eyes glittered with anger, but some part of Sootpaw had to give her a little grudging respect. She knew she would personally never speak against Thistlethorn in such a manner - not only was he a warrior, but he was also a gifted fighter - but Swanpaw didn't seem to have any doubts about standing up for her Clanmate.

Reedrush seemed bewildered. "Hang on, now, slow down. Just what exactly are you talking about? Rabbitleap, are you carrying kits?"

The gray-and-white warrior flattened her ears. "Yes," she said, her voice uncharacteristically soft. "But I didn't know. I mean, I felt that something was different, but I never thought that…."

Thistlethorn's tail was lashing from side to side. "What are we supposed to do with her?" he growled. "It took us this long to get out here. We have no idea how far we still have to go. She'll slow us down even more; it could be another moon before we get home, and by then it might be too late."

"Do you think you're the only one worried about getting home in time?" Swanpaw's voice was as sharp as broken ice. "My mother could be dying right now. My brother and father might be sick too, for all I know. There's no one here that wants to get back home more than I do, but blaming Rabbitleap isn't going to help! She can't change what's been done, and you need to step off before I make you."

A chill ran down Sootpaw's spine as she saw that Swanpaw's claws were unsheathed. Thistlethorn's were as well, and the two of them looked dangerously close to lunging at each other and ripping each other's throats out.

"Swanpaw is right," Reedrush meowed. "Rabbitleap can't change what has already be done. If she is carrying kits, then we must just move faster. I'm sure we're close to the third ingredient, and when we find it…we can go home." The last few words seemed almost sorrowful in her voice, and Sootpaw felt a flutter of sympathy. _If we find the third ingredient before we find Bullet, she might never get to see him._

Thistlethorn let out a quiet hiss, but even he didn't seem to want to argue with Reedrush. He gave Rabbitleap another glare, before shaking his head. "Fine. We can't waste any more time, so let's just go."

Sootpaw's stomach rumbled quietly, and she clutched her vole more tightly, but Thistlethorn didn't seem keen on waiting for them to eat. Reedrush nodded, and bent down to pick up the rabbit that she had brought back earlier. Thistlethorn turned away, still seething, and began to walk. Rabbitleap followed, her ears flat against her head and her eyes burning with shame.

Swanpaw gave the others a challenging look, as if daring them to say anything, before hurrying after the PeakClan warrior. After a brief pause, the others followed.

Sootpaw fell into step beside Bluepaw, whose blue eyes swam with worry.

"It's my fault," she whispered, giving Rabbitleap an anxious glance. "I told her she was carrying kits - I felt like she had the right to know, since we all did - but I guess I must have been talking too loud, because Thistlethorn woke up and got all mad…I'm glad Reedrush came back when she did, or that argument would have lasted for ages."

"It probably would have ended with Thistlethorn and Swanpaw at each other's throats," Sootpaw mewed, trying to keep her voice low. "I'm glad we came back in time. Reedrush and I were battle training, and then we hunted a bit."

"I can see that." Bluepaw's whiskers twitched. "It smells delicious. I wish Thistlethorn had given us enough time to eat. I'm starving."

"You really should have been more careful, Bluepaw," Sage said as he drifted near them. "You should have taken Rabbitleap a bit away from the group before you told her. It wasn't just Thistlethorn that heard, it was everyone else, too. It must have been embarrassing for her, and it could have ended badly.

Bluepaw's ears flattened. "Oh, I didn't mean to embarrass her! Now I feel awful. I just wasn't sure if you guys were going to tell her, and I figured someone had to let her know…I'll apologize to her later, I promise." She gave the PeakClan warrior another worried look. "I always seem to mess everything up. I'm such a failure."

Sootpaw pressed her nose against the blue-gray apprentice's shoulder. "You were just trying to help. Everyone else would have found out eventually anyway, and I think it would have been worse if Rabbitleap had tried keeping it a secret from them. Maybe in the long run, this will turn out to be better."

Sage seemed skeptical. "Perhaps. It will definitely make the journey more difficult, though. Within a week, she'll barely be able to get around at all. I don't think we'll be able to wait for her, either. We might just have to leave her behind."

Sootpaw was aghast. "How can you even think about doing that?"

"I didn't mean alone," Sage said. "I, for one, would be happy to stay with her and make sure that she and the kits are alright. I only meant that our group will need to move quickly on the way back. It will help that we know where we're going - we can just follow the Thunderpath back, and cut through Twolegplace to save time - and it will be impossible to get very far with Rabbitleap in tow. I'm sure Swanpaw will want to stay behind as well, and between the two of us, I think we could manage for a moon or two until her kits are old enough to move."

Sootpaw's whiskers twitched. "I don't think Rabbitleap would be the only reason that Swanpaw would want to stay behind," she said. Sage seemed puzzled, and she and Bluepaw shared a laugh; Sage seemed oblivious to Swanpaw's crush on him.

"I don't envy her, though," Sootpaw continued. "She has to know that her options are limited, right? I mean, I don't want to leave her behind, but if we have to…."

"I think we should try and stick with her for as long as we can, but eventually we might be forced to leave her," Bluepaw mewed. "Hopefully we'll be pretty close to home by then, though, so she won't feel too separated from the Clan. I'm sure Swanpaw will want to go home and see her family as soon as she can."

"If everything goes well, Rabbitleap can probably move her kits when they're a moon old, if not a bit earlier," Sage said. "Kits grow quite a bit during that first moon, and they'll be able to see and stumble around a bit, which should be enough to get by if she's careful. So long as there are three or less in the litter, Rabbitleap, Swanpaw, and I can carry them back together."

"I hope everything goes okay," Bluepaw said, and her eyes darkened. Sootpaw blinked at her, feeling puzzled; there hadn't been a litter born in Bluepaw's time. Sootpaw's had been the last in AshClan, and Bluepaw had been nothing more than a wriggling kit then. It was true that things had been a little rocky - Ravenwing's litter had been early, and Sootpaw had nearly died, not to mention the other stillborn kit - but Bluepaw couldn't possibly remember it.

They walked for hours, and gradually Sootpaw and Bluepaw ran out of conversations to begin. The silence was a bit uneasy, and Sootpaw was bored, but she couldn't think of any topics that she and the medicine apprentice hadn't already explored. The only remaining one that she could bring up was her dream the night before, but she was still intent on keeping it a secret.

She tried contacting Chillpaw a few times, but he never responded. Sootpaw assumed that he was busy in the Dark Forest - Dapplefern was probably starting more fights, or perhaps it was Brightstar - but it still made her a bit lonely. She knew she could summon up Moonpaw if she wanted to, but after Chillpaw's words about how unhealthy creating Moonpaw had been, she hadn't been in the mood to converse with her imaginary friend.

Sootpaw was ready to gulp down the vole in one bite by the time they finally settled down as a group. Cats began splitting off in pairs to go hunting in the dying light; Sootpaw glanced at Bluepaw, and nodded, signaling that the two of them could share her vole. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Reedrush approach Rabbitleap.

"Here," the silver tabby meowed, dropping her rabbit at the PeakClan warrior's paws. "I'll catch something else."

Rabbitleap seemed taken aback. "N-no, it's okay. You can have it, I'm a pretty good hunter-"

"There's plenty of meat on its bones, and your kits will need the nourishment," Reedrush said kindly. "Relax, it's no trouble at all. I like stretching my legs out now and then."

"Thank you," Rabbitleap mumbled, staring down at her paws. Reedrush nodded, before padding to join Thistlethorn.

Sootpaw and Bluepaw settled down some distance away from the others. Sootpaw tucked the vole between her paws, taking the first bite before she passed it to Bluepaw.

"You should apologize now, while the others are gone," Sootpaw whispered, looking at Rabbitleap over her shoulder. Bluepaw's ears flattened.

"What if I just end up making it worse?" she whispered back.

"I don't think you can," Sootpaw said. "She seems really flustered. Just say you're sorry, and tell her that she'll be okay and that no one thinks less of her. That's all she wants to hear."

Bluepaw took another bite of the vole, then nodded. "Okay. Don't eat the whole thing."

She rose to her paws, and Sootpaw turned to watch her murmur something to the gray-and-white warrior that she couldn't quite catch. Rabbitleap nodded, and Sootpaw looked away, not wanting to be caught staring.

Bluepaw rejoined her a few moments later, and the two of them continued gnawing on the vole. Rabbitleap had reminded Sootpaw of her earlier thoughts, and she watched the medicine apprentice for a moment. Noticing her gaze, Bluepaw rubbed her face, as if afraid she had something hanging from her whiskers.

"You seemed nervous about Rabbitleap's kitting before," Sootpaw said. "How come?"

Bluepaw's ears flattened, and she took a moment to answer. "Well, when she does kit, it just seemed likely that I would have to help her deliver them. I've never done it before, so I was a little anxious about it…but if Sage will be there, then I'm sure it'll be okay."

Sootpaw squinted at her suspiciously. "You're lying, Bluepaw. What is it really? Come on, you can tell me."

The blue-gray apprentice gave her head a rapid shake. "No, no, I can't. I'm not supposed to. I'm not even really supposed to know, Shimmerfrost just told me because she was feeling distressed."

Sootpaw was intrigued, and her yellow eyes gleamed as an idea occurred to her. A sly grin crept over her muzzle. "If you tell me, I'll tell you what I dreamed about last night."

The medicine apprentice's ears pricked. "Was it the journeying cats?"

"I'm afraid I can't say," she replied with a teasing smile. "Tell me what you know first."

"I…I can't, Sootpaw. It was supposed to be a secret. Silverstar didn't want anyone else to know." Bluepaw stared down at her paws, ignoring the vole.

Sootpaw frowned. Something was tickling her memory, nagging her, but she couldn't put her paw on it. Then, her eyes widened as she remembered that conversation she had heard moons ago, when she had woken up early and followed Silverstar and Forestheart out of camp.

_I miss them, _she remembered Silverstar saying, and creeping dread came over her.

"It was Silverstar. She had a litter, didn't she?"

The medicine apprentice flinched, but nodded. "Yes. I wasn't there when it happened, I was still a kit at the time…but she was pregnant when Chillpaw attacked her. Shimmerfrost told me about it later…after we went to the Pool of Stars for the first time. Silverstar was less than a moon along, so the kits were still weak. They couldn't survive without her breathing, without her heartbeat, so for that short time while she was dead, they must have suffocated…but she couldn't kit right away. Shimmerfrost had to use tansy to force it…she said it was horrible, the worst thing she had ever seen. Four little kits that never even had a chance…."

"Four," Sootpaw whispered. _That's a larger litter than most cats have…and to have lost all of them, it must have been so devastating…that's why she was in hiding for so long. Not only did her kin betray her and she lost her faith, but she lost the four little lives that she and Forestheart had created…._

"That's why Shimmerfrost strayed away from the stars too, isn't it?" she asked. "Her faith wasn't strong enough to weather that sort of loss."

Bluepaw nodded. "She told me she couldn't understand why StarClan didn't tell her of Chillpaw's plans, or why they would allow Silverstar's kits to die. Unborn kits aren't strong enough to go to StarClan, so Silverstar's were lost forever. Shimmerfrost tried her best to save them, but there was nothing she could do; it took too long for Silverstar to come back. She sort of…splintered after that. She wasn't the same. She froze over. And she turned her back on StarClan."

Sootpaw shivered. "Is that part of the reason she stayed behind, too? I know she has the shadow-things, but if she also won't listen to StarClan anymore…did she not receive the prophecy."

"It was all me," Bluepaw admitted. "Sometimes Shimmerfrost doesn't even drink from the pool when we go, so she doesn't always even fall asleep. I was the one StarClan spoke to…which I was really proud of, but she didn't seem to care." Her eyes darkened. "She didn't even want to listen to it. She said that if we were going to find the solution to the chilling disease, it would lie with the living cats, not the dead. She said StarClan has forgotten what it's like to be alive; if they hadn't, they wouldn't be so cryptic and misleading. She said the medicine cats in StarClan forgot about their oath to end the suffering of their Clanmates. She said they have turned their backs on us, not the other way around."

Sootpaw's ears flattened. From what she had heard, Shimmerfrost had once been eager to become a medicine cat and learn the ways of the starry cats. She had met her own mother in StarClan. It was heartbreaking to think that the silver tabby truly believed that the stars had abandoned them.

"So, what was your dream?" Bluepaw asked quietly. "It has to be better than that."

Sootpaw relayed her dream swiftly, speaking of Foxpaw and Birchpaw meeting the tabby tom in secret, finishing with her doubts about the tom's honesty. Bluepaw seemed troubled as she listened; the fur on her shoulder was ruffled with unease.

"Are you sure he can't be trusted?" she asked. "Maybe he really is just trying to help, don't you think?"

Sootpaw frowned. "No, I don't think so. There was something off about him, something weird. I can't really explain it…but I could feel it."

"I suppose it means their journey will be reaching an end soon, one way or another," Bluepaw mewed. "Either they do find SkyClan…or they're led into some sort of trap, and it ends there." Her brow furrowed. "What do you think that means for us?"

"Steer clear of strangers, I guess," Sootpaw joked, but her words fell flat. Bluepaw was obviously worried, and so was she, especially after hearing what had caused Silverstar's breakdown. "I don't know. I guess we should just be careful. Hopefully our journey _will _be ending soon, and we can all go home. I miss Spiderpaw."

"Me too." Bluepaw's eyes seemed distant. "I wonder if things will be…different when we get back."

Sootpaw blinked - did Bluepaw still have a crush on Spiderpaw? She felt a flutter of sympathy for the medicine apprentice. "I'm sure things will be different. We've changed, even though we don't really realize it, and they have a lot to cope with back home. Honestly…I _hope _things are different, at least for Spiderpaw. When we left, he didn't have any friends or anyone that he could be close to besides the two of us…I don't want to think that he's been alone this whole time."

"I don't want him to be unhappy either, but…." She trailed off as she tried to piece her words together. "Spiderpaw and I were best friends, and even though I've been gone a long time, I don't want that to change. I still want us to be close."

"You're the medicine apprentice," Sootpaw mewed as gently as she could. "There will always be space between you two. He can never really understand your duties. You'll always be a tail-length away from him, because of the separation that your duties require."

Bluepaw turned away, and for once Sootpaw couldn't read her face. "I know."

A flood of sympathy for the blue-gray she-cat threatened to overwhelm Sootpaw, and she redirected her gaze to the vole, taking the last bite of meat from its bones. She hated seeing Bluepaw so disillusioned, but if Bluepaw still did carry feelings for Spiderpaw, she had to understand that things could never be as she wanted them to. Medicine cats had a sacred duty to StarClan first, and if Shimmerfrost was flaunting hers, then AshClan needed a stable medicine cat more than ever before.

_Sootpaw? _Chillpaw's voice echoed in her mind. _Moonpaw tells me that you were looking for me._

Sootpaw's stomach clenched as she thought of Silverstar's four lifeless kits. _Not anymore._

_Is something wrong? _he asked. _You sound a little perturbed._

_Please, Chillpaw. I don't want to talk to you right now. I just…I need a little bit of space._

He was quiet for a moment. _That's fine. I was just going to let you know that we had a little scuffle here - it's not as abandoned as we had thought - but everyone is fine. Good night._

She didn't answer him, but he didn't say anything more, and so she assumed he had gone. She let out a quiet sigh, resting her head on her paws. Chillpaw being responsible for one murder had been enough…but now it seemed he was to blame for the death of four kits as well.

_Why can't things ever be simple? _she wondered, pressing her nose into her paws. _I thought today was going to be good…everything seemed okay. I got to train with Reedrush, and I tried being more confident…but everything went downhill from there. Can't we ever just have a good, normal day?_

_I know I shouldn't complain, not after hearing what Silverstar and Shimmerfrost had to go through…but sometimes it feels like StarClan doesn't want anyone to be happy._

**AN: Happy 50th chapter!**


	52. C h a p t e r 51

**Chapter 51**

The entire Clan stiffened as PeakClan's scent arrived on the breeze. They turned together, staring as Stonestar enters camp, followed by Northstar and Blackmoon. Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed as he caught more scents on the air; there were more PeakClan cats standing by, waiting. Stonestar hadn't been joking when he said they had little to lose. The desperation was clear in his yellow eyes as he waited, glancing them over before tilting his head towards the medicine den.

Spiderpaw's eyes followed his to the entrance of the medicine den, and his stomach clenched. Eaglestrike had been inside all day, speaking to Silverstar, and he wasn't sure if they had reached any sort of conclusion. Ravenwing had been in with him earlier, bringing him something to eat, but she had refused to answer any questions when she had reappeared. The Clan had been sure that it didn't bode well for the coming meeting with PeakClan, and now it seemed they were right.

Finally, he saw the glow of his father's eyes in the entrance. Eaglestrike padded out, giving the gray leader a nod before stepping to the side. Stonestar ducked into the den, followed by his deputy and medicine cat. Eaglestrike paused for a moment, before following.

_Is it going to be obvious to them that Silverstar is with kits? _Spiderpaw fretted. There was no one he could express his anxieties to, save perhaps Blackfeather, but he wasn't sure how much she knew. _I can't see Stonestar using that against her, but maybe Northstar…._

He blinked as he realized that he had been shifting his weight from side to side with anxiety. No one had any idea what Eaglestrike and Silverstar were planning to do, or if they were even close to making an agreement between them, let alone with PeakClan.

_This is what being a deputy is really about, _he mused. _As kits, Sootpaw and I thought it was all glory and sunshine, but it's really about moments like these, where you have to deal with a dying leader and pressure from all sides, threats that you can't control or predict. And sometimes you're seen as the bad guy, because you're the one forced to make the call that no one else will…._

He felt a soft trail brush his pelt. He didn't have to turn to know that it was Blackfeather; her scent was comforting, and he leaned against her, resting his head against her feathery shoulder. She drew her muzzle down over his ear, and his pelt tingled furiously. He half expected her to lick him, as she had a few times before, but she did not.

"Your father will do what's best," she said.

"Best for us?" he asked. "Or for PeakClan? Are there enough snowberries to spare?"

She sighed. "I don't know. Sometimes I wish StarClan would give us some sort of sign, to show they're still looking out for us…but then I think that perhaps it means that they're looking after the journeying cats, devoting their attention to them, and I don't feel so bad, because I know they're watching Reedrush and Thistlethorn and Sootpaw and Bluepaw right now, keeping them safe."

His breath caught in his throat as he saw of his sister. He knew she had always wanted to be special, had craved some sort of power or recognition beyond simply being the deputy's daughter. She had wanted to carve out her own legacy, and he knew that she had joined the journey because she had believed that it was her destiny.

He prayed that it was.

"The first thing that I do when I see her is apologize," he vowed softly.

"For what?"

"For everything. For being such a stupid fur ball, and for making her do stuff that she didn't want to, and for dragging her down with me while I fought with everyone…for almost getting her killed, when we were kits, just because I was too stuck-up to admit that we were going the wrong way…." His throat threatened to close up as he thought of her then, how she had been crouched on the branch, trembling with fear, and then calming herself as she blinked into his eyes. She had _trusted _him, trusted him implicitly, even though he had never done anything to earn it. She had always been by his side, and when he had screwed up with Robinpaw and the others, she had been just as alone as he had.

Blackfeather touched his head with her nose. "I'm sure she doesn't think of it like that. She's probably missing you terribly."

"She shouldn't be," he growled, his fur ruffling. "When she gets back, I want to be a cat worth missing."

Blackfeathers smiled. "I think you already are."

He flushed underneath his fur, his pelt tingling furiously, but just as he was about to respond, Stonestar appeared in the entrance. His yellow eyes were dull, but there was a glimmer of something akin to triumph in them as he exited the den, waiting for Blackmoon and Northstar to join him. Eaglestrike left the den as well, and Silverstar hovered inside, only her face visible in the shadows. Spiderpaw's eyes darted down towards where her stomach should be, wondering if she was hiding in the darkness to avoid the Clan figuring out how dire the situation truly was.

"Thank you," Blackmoon mewed to her, but the other two PeakClan toms said nothing, exiting the camp without a backwards glance. Outside, the scent of PeakClan gradually ebbed away, as whatever warriors Stonestar had brought left with him.

"Well?" Stormshadow demanded, once the PeakClan cats were gone. "What was your decision? What deal did you make?"

Eaglestrike took a moment to answer, and Spiderpaw noticed that he seemed irritated, as if what they had decided did not appeal to him.

"Every sick cat is allotted two snowberries, for now," he said. "They're small, but potent, so each can be split into two doses, creating a total of four. If a cat wishes to give its snowberries to another, they are allowed."

"Two snowberries per _cat_?" Fireblaze growled. "They're just using the deal to hoard more of the berries for themselves! I'm sure some of their cats are beyond help by now, so they'll just 'donate' their berries to someone else. It's a scam!"

"We can't risk a battle with PeakClan, not now," Silverstar meowed. "I am sure that we would win, because PeakClan is so weak, but we need them united with us in case things come to a head with the rogues. If we're divided, it will be that much easier for Carmelo to defeat us, if he decides to invade."

Spiderpaw blinked as he remembered what Tubs had said; Carmelo wasn't in Twolegplace anymore, and wasn't calling the shots. He'd left Flicka and Maggot in charge, and it was probably Maggot who had ordered the previous attacks on the Clan.

_I don't know what Carmelo was planning, but he didn't act violently towards us, _he thought. _I'm sure he'll be coming home soon, and when he does, whatever plans Maggot has will come to an end. If I was him, I'd be picking up the pace to make sure I squeezed everything in…._

"But doesn't that mean there won't be many berries left?" Petalcloud pressed. "What about replanting, when newleaf comes?"

"Shimmerfrost and Blackmoon have made sure to set some aside specifically for that task," Silverstar said. "Some will be reserved for both Clans to plant when the weather is warmer and they have a higher chance of surviving, to ensure that this never happens again."

"Shimmerfrost is also planning on studying the leaves," Eaglestrike growled. "They might have a positive effect as well, we aren't sure. We're going to try everything that we can."

The Clan still seemed disgruntled, but there was little else for the leader and deputy to say. The deal with PeakClan had been settled, and there was no way to go back and change it now.

_At least Stonestar will be pleased, _Spiderpaw thought with a quiet sigh. _But will four doses be enough to hold Silverstar and Jaypaw over until the journeying cats get back with the rest of the ingredients?_

Eaglestrike flicked his tail. "Now, since all that has been decided, I think we need to send out a patrol." His gaze flicked over the gathered cats, settling on his son. Spiderpaw stiffened, wondering if his father could see his secrets in his eyes, but Eaglestrike only smiled. "Let's send out Petalcloud, Fireblaze, Spiderpaw, and Leopardpaw," he said. "Make sure to leave strong markings near the border with PeakClan, and near the marsh. The last thing we need is anyone thinking us weak."

Petalcloud dipped her head to her leader, before trotting towards the camp entrance, pausing to allow her son and apprentice to join her. Leopardpaw had already been sitting near the entrance, and she gave Spiderpaw a silky smile as he approached.

"Let's go," Petalcloud mewed, hopping through the entrance. The others followed, and Spiderpaw's pelt began prickling uncomfortably as they left the safety of camp.

"Can you believe that?" Fireblaze fumed. "Why don't we just give them the whole plant, while we're at it? They practically have it now!"

"I think Silverstar was right, not wanting to start a conflict with PeakClan," Petalcloud meowed, her voice mild. "They have more of a right to the plant than we do. It's thanks to Northstar that we have it."

"It's because of Northstar that there aren't more of them," Spiderpaw growled. "Ravenwing told us that when he was taking over the forest Clans, he made sure to wipe out their supply of the herb so they couldn't defend themselves against the forest sickness. If it hadn't been for him, we could have brought a lot more of the plants back, and everyone would have enough."

"He was just being a smart tactician," Leopardpaw said. "Eliminating the herb left the forest Clans crippled, and made them that much easier to take over without losing the lives of his own Clan. I thought that would be something for you to look up to, Spiderpaw." She shot him a glance, her green eyes twinkling faintly. The fur on his shoulders ruffled, and he opened his mouth to shoot back a hot retort, then paused.

_A few moons ago, I might have considered that heroic, _he thought, his ears flattening. _Northstar was protecting his Clanmates, after all…and he was ruthless against his enemies. Those are the traits of a powerful warrior and strong leader, like I wanted to be…but it was that sort of pride that led to his eventual destruction and exile, too._

Petalcloud motioned for them to be quiet as they approached the river. The group slowed down, and Petalcloud crept through the brush, stiffening as the bank came into sight. The scent of PeakClan was quite strong, and it was clear that several members of the group of warriors that Stonestar had brought with him had stopped to mark their side of the river.

Fireblaze let out a low growl. "They're throwing their weight around like they still own the forest."

"I'm sure some of it is a bluff," Petalcloud mewed. "If they've moved camps, things must be dire. Many cats must have already died or gotten too sick to be saved. Stonestar was forced to give the forest away, and I'm sure that was a sore spot for him. Now he has to watch his Clan suffer, and there's nothing that he can do about it. He and the rest of the Clan must feel powerless."

That gave Fireblaze some pause, but he still seemed irritated. "Whatever. It doesn't mean they can try to bully us into whatever they want. I'd say those marsh cats seem like better allies right about now."

They left their markings as Eaglestrike had told them, before continuing up towards the marsh, following the Black Stream until they were close to the Thunderpath. Spiderpaw half-expected to see Tubs wedged into the tunnel running underneath the Thunderpath again, but to his relief the large gray tom did not appear.

There were some strange scents drifting over from the marsh, but they were mostly covered by the stench of the Thunderpath and its monsters. Spiderpaw wondered idly for a moment how Tubs and Faint were, before giving himself a mental shake. _It doesn't matter. They're not my Clanmates._

Still, he hoped that Fern wasn't still mad with the flabby tom. The escape hadn't been his fault, after all.

His gaze drifted towards Leopardpaw, who was scenting the air as well, and he felt a prickle of irritation. The dappled apprentice was an enigma; no matter how much she seemed to reveal about herself through little remarks, there was still this air of mystery hanging around her that he couldn't quite penetrate. For the umpteenth time, he wondered what she had been doing in the forest when she had saved the two of them. It couldn't be a coincidence that she just so happened to be in the same area as the deputy's drowning daughter.

He blinked as he realized that he had been staring at her for longer than he'd meant to, and also noticed Fireblaze's eyes were boring into him. He couldn't read the ginger tom's expression, and decided to drop his gaze rather than start an argument. They'd been on decent terms since Blackfeather had become a warrior, and he didn't want to mess that up for something stupid.

They continued a little farther down the Thunderpath, before Petalcloud stopped and frowned. She gave the air a curious sniff, before glancing to Spiderpaw. "Do you smell that?"

Spiderpaw opened his mouth, allowing the scents of the forest to flood him. He cocked his head to the side as he picked up the scent she had mentioned; it was faint, covered up by other strange smells like that of the Thunderpath, but still noticeable. The scent nudged his memory, and he frowned, trying to place it.

_The bodies of those rogues, at GreenRocks, _he remembered, and his eyes widened. He opened his mouth in a warning just as the cats leaped forth out of the brush.

The patrol dissolved into chaos as Petalcloud was tackled to the ground by a black tom. Spiderpaw moved to help her, only to find a golden tabby in his way, hissing and spitting. Her amber eyes glittered with malice, and he didn't hesitate to rake his claws down her face.

She let out a furious screech and sprang at him, but he moved nimbly to the side and raked his claws down her flank. She retaliated with a blow to his head, and although he flattened himself to the ground to avoid it, she still managed to graze his ear with her claws.

"I don't have time for this," he snarled, leaping forward. He landed on her back and dug in his claws, ignoring her yowl of protest as he sank his fangs into her ear. Then, he froze as he caught sight of Leopardpaw.

She was facing off against a she-cat of her own, a tortoiseshell. They both had their claws unsheathed, but it looked like neither one of them had made a move yet. They were staring each other down; Leopardpaw was completely concentrated on her opponent, and completely oblivious to the ginger tom getting ready to pounce on her.

Spiderpaw wanted to help, but at that moment the tabby underneath his claws bucked, and he lost his hold on her. He tumbled to the ground, and she was on him in an instant, hissing and tearing at his fur. He kicked up at her stomach, winding her for a moment, before turning to look again.

The ginger tom was closer to Leopardpaw than before, and obviously seconds from springing. Leopardpaw was good, but she wasn't strong enough to defeat two opponents at the same time. In desperation, he looked for Fireblze, and spotted his fiery fur only a fox-length away from the dappled she-cat.

"Fireblaze!" he yowled at the top of his lungs, and saw the tom turn for a moment, his amber eyes bright with the heat of battle. His gaze landed on Spiderpaw, and he took a step forward as if to help, but Spiderpaw quickly shook his head. He only had time to point to Leopardpaw before the golden tabby asserted herself again, having caught her breath.

Spiderpaw snarled up at her, kicking at her stomach again, but she responded by raking her claws down his belly. Blood pounded in his ears, but he forced himself to reign in his temper, remembering his lessons. Twisting around, he buried his fangs in her leg, biting down with as much force as he could muster until she was forced to recoil, jerking her paw out of his jaws. He kicked upwards again, with more force behind the blow this time. She was tossed backwards, and he sprang to her paws, giving her a few more parting blows before she raced off into the brush with a wail.

Panting, he tried to see how the others were faring, but there were too many bodies before him. This was much more than a rogue patrol, that much was clear. For whatever reason, Maggot had sent quite a few of them - practically a miniature army - into AshClan's territory. He felt a wave of dread wash over him, but shook himself. There wasn't time for that, not now. They were too far away from the camp to get help, and he knew that Fireblaze, Leopardpaw, and Petalcloud wouldn't last long enough against so many enemies for him to find assistance anyway.

A gray rogue was running towards him, snarling, and he tensed to avoid the attack, only to pause as yowls filled his eyes. His eyes widened as a wave of cats suddenly raced over the Thunderpath, led by a familiar brown tabby with green eyes. Spiderpaw froze up, his breath catching in his chest as the hoard of cats descended upon them.

_This is it, _he thought. _I guess I'll be meeting the legendary Fadedstar soon. I just wish…._

His thoughts broke off as the gray rogue facing him was suddenly knocked off of his paws, letting out a yowl as he was tackled to the ground by a grinning tabby.

"Pleasure to see you again, Spiderpaw," Fern mewed, her eyes glimmering with amusement. "Behind you."

He turned to see a black-and-white tom lunging at him, and twisted to the side to avoid the tom's claws. He looked one this shoulder for a brief moment, but Fern was already swiping fiercely at another rogue.

_What's happening? _he wondered, but didn't have time to ponder the confusing events further as the black-and-white rogue narrowly missed his face. Spiderpaw charged him, feinting to the left before striking to the right. The tom deflected the blow with one of his paws, while the other managed to slice at Spiderpaw's flank. The black apprentice let out a grunt of pain, before throwing himself onto the tom's back as he had the female rogue he had fought before.

The black-and-white tom immediately twisted his body, tumbling to the ground before Spiderpaw could leap away and squashing him. Spiderpaw snarled as the tom's fur caught in his nose and throat, and dug in his claws. The tom was forced to roll onto his side to pull away, but Spiderpaw was too winded to get back to his paws. The tom rose to his feet, his amber eyes narrowed with malevolence.

"Clan whelp," he spat, moving to pin him down.

_I don't think so, _Spiderpaw thought, before kicking upwards with all his might. The black-and-white tom coughed, but didn't let him go, and in desperation Spiderpaw raked his back claws down the tom's belly. The tom grimaced, but to his credit he did not release his hold despite the hot blood staining his white fur. His fangs flashed as he moved to bite Spiderpaw's throat. The black apprentice twisted, and the tom's teeth sank into his shoulder instead. Spiderpaw yowled his pain as the tom bit down before releasing him, drops of blood running down his muzzle.

"Hold still," the tom grunted, his claws digging into Spiderpaw's shoulders. Spiderpaw thrashed, but couldn't get out of his grip. He wanted to turn and bite the tom's paw as he had with his previous opponent, but knew that it would leave his neck vulnerable to the tom's jaws.

The tom drew back for another strike, before suddenly collapsing onto Spiderpaw. The tom's eyes stared down at him wide with surprise and a touch of horror as blood trickled down his neck. The fire in his eyes died, and he went limp with a last rattle, leaving Spiderpaw shaken.

He kicked the tom's body off of him, rolling over to get away from him, before standing to find Leopardpaw staring at him. Her muzzle was blood-soaked, and he saw that she had a deep bite near her scruff as well. Spiderpaw guessed that the ginger tom had managed to attack her before Fireblaze had come to the rescue.

"Fireblaze said you warned him," she mewed. Her green eyes seemed strangely glassy, and there was a tremor running through her legs. "Thank you."

_Her first brush with death, _Spiderpaw guessed, his eyes tracing over the painful-looking wound, before nodding. "You're welcome. Thanks for taking care of him, I was kind of trapped." He glanced down to the black-and-white body, and Leopardpaw followed his stare.

"I haven't ever…I've never needed to kill anymore before," she whispered. "I mean, when I was training in Twolegplace, there were a lot of fights, but…."

He padded towards her, flicking his tail against her flank. "I know. It's okay. If you hadn't, I would be dead."

"It was just so _easy. _One bite, and it was over. He might have had a _family, _I didn't even know him, and I…." There was a tremor in her voice, and Spiderpaw felt a prickle of alarm. He'd never seen Leopardpaw looking so _vulnerable _before, and it was disconcerting, to say the least.

"Hey, look at me," he said, using his tail to lift up her muzzle. "_Thank you. _Without you, I would have been done for. There's no reason to feel bad. You did what you had to do, to protect a Clanmate."

"Clanmate," she murmured. "Yeah." Her gaze cleared, and her eyes narrowed. "Quit touching me," she snapped, pulling away. "Keep your wits about you, would you? We're in the middle of a battle, if you hadn't noticed."

Spiderpaw glanced around, surprised that no one had attacked them while they had been talking. Most of the rogues seemed to have already dissipated, driven off by Fern's group. He spotted Petalcloud, and hurried towards her, trailed by Leopardpaw.

"Are you okay?" he asked the calico as she gave a brown tabby a few more parting slashes before letting her go. The dappled warrior was missing a few patches of fur, and had several wounds dotting her coat, but none seemed to severe.

Petalcloud turned on them with a hiss, only for her expression to gentle as she recognized them. "Are you two alright?"

"Fine," Spiderpaw answered. "Where's Fireblaze?"

Petalcloud's ears pricked with alarm, and she looked over her shoulder, searching for the ginger tom. Spiderpaw spotted his fiery coat a few fox-lengths away, half-buried by a silver-and-white she-cat. He took a step forward, ready to help, only to wince as Fireblaze sent the tabby flying and rose to his paws, advancing upon her with fury in his eyes.

"Fireblaze!" Petalcloud exclaimed, distracting him from his opponent long enough to let the rogue slip away. The ginger warrior hurried towards them, glancing his mother over to make sure that she was alright, before looking alarmed as he spotted Leopardpaw.

"Are you alright?" he demanded, rushing forward and brushing Spiderpaw away as if he was no more than a fly. For once, Leopardpaw didn't seem irritated by his concern. She leaned against him, and Spiderpaw saw the tremor run through her again.

"I'm fine," she said, although her voice was heavy. "I wouldn't have been, though, if you hadn't stepped in. That tom…." A shiver ran through her, and Fireblaze touched her ear with his nose.

"But we were. You're okay." His voice was gentler than Spiderpaw would have thought possible for someone as boisterous and forceful as he usually was. "Spiderpaw and I had your back. That's what Clanmates do."

Her ears flattened at the word again, but Spiderpaw didn't have time to wonder what that meant. The last of the Twolegplace rogues were fleeing, leaving nothing but the marsh cats behind. Fern strode towards them, bloody in a few places but with a glimmer in her green eyes.

"We heard the hubbub from across the marsh," she said. "A patrol picked it up, ran back to us. Normally we would have stayed out of it, but…things have been strange in the city lately. I need to talk to your leader."

Fireblaze's eyes narrowed, and he let out a low growl, but Petalcloud gave him a warning look and shook her head.

"We're grateful for your help," she mewed, "but we don't know whose side you're on. Just because you took ours doesn't mean you're an ally."

Fern seemed irritated. "No. I'm on no side but my Colony's."

"Where's Baron?" Spiderpaw blurted.

"In Twolegplace. Again. He's trying to get things sorted out. Which is why I need to talk to your leader in the first place. Things are fishy, Baron doesn't have a clue, no one's telling us anything here, and I don't like it one bit." The tabby flicked her tail with agitation.

Petalcloud stood her ground. "We're not taking you unless you tell us what you're going to talk to her about. I don't mean to be suspicious - we do appreciate what you've done to help us - but I will not endanger our leader by bringing strangers into camp."

The sharp-eyed tabby heaved a sigh. "Fine, I'll give you the short version. A certain cat in my group has a friend still in Twolegplace, named Riley. When he left, he told Riley to keep an eye on things, and the kid took it to heart. A few days ago, he told his friend about strange happenings going on in the city. Someone in charge-"

"Maggot?" Spiderpaw asked quickly. Fern gave him a suspicious look, and he drew himself up. "I know Flicka and Maggot are in charge."

"How did you…you had a little chat with Tubs, didn't you?" Fern let out a furious hiss. "Oh, I'm going to _flay _that fat piece of garbage when I get home. Blabbing secrets like they're nothing, eating all the prey…why Carmelo thought _he _was a good idea, I'll never-" She cut herself off, seeming to realize that she was beginning to rant. She licked her chest, calming herself down, and guilt stirred in Spiderpaw's belly. He hadn't intended to get the gray tom in trouble.

"I wheedled it out of him after I found him in our territory," he said. It was only half a lie, really. "I wouldn't let him go until he told me."

Fern seemed dubious, but she shrugged. "Whatever. Point is, whoever is in charge in the city - it's sure isn't flickin' Carmelo, who's off gallivanting around and doing who-knows-what - has been doing some odd things. For one, he's been sending toms into the nursery - Carmelo converted Amber's old favorite base into a nursery for all the queens and kits in the city, to keep them safe. Making sure that the queens and kits were easily available was just a nice side-effect, I'm sure." She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, these toms have been sniffing all over the kits, counting them and making note of different things…how big they are, what genders, that sort of stuff. They've also been watching the fathers closely - who comes and who goes, all that. Not to mention that he's reportedly been sending patrols out in all directions…scouting out territory, I assume."

"What do you think he's planning?" Petalcloud asked, and Fern shook her head.

"I don't know. No one's visited us to inform us about any change in plans. Baron says that when Carmelo comes back, he'll patch everything up, but…I have my doubts. Both Flicka and Maggot have cats that are very loyal to them, much more so than they are to Carmelo, and if you ask me that spells out trouble." She gave the four of them a firm look. "Personally, I couldn't care less what they do to you all; I'm just being frank here, but I don't know any of you, 'sides the apprentice. But I _do _care about what happens to my Colony, and to the cats in Twolegplace. I've a lot of friends there, plenty of them queens, and I don't want any of them getting hurt.

"If Maggot or Flicka does prove to be dangerous, and makes a grab for power, things could turn very ugly very quickly. Carmelo's kept things stable, and while you might not like him, even you have to admit that stability is better than chaos. I need to know that if things do come to blows, we'll have someone to depend on." Her green eyes were sharp as they bored into Petalcloud. "If we have to lead a coup against Maggot or Flicka, we will. Carmelo's the only leader I'll support. If the Clans know what's good for them and Twolegplace, they'll do the same."

Petalcloud seemed indecisive, but she finally bowed her head. "Fine. We'll take you into camp. But _only _you. The rest of them stay here."

Fern's tail flicked from side to side as she mulled it over. "Alright. It'll be a gesture of good faith, since I'm pretty sure we could trample you four and run straight into your camp if we wanted to." She looked over her shoulder. "Boon! Lead them home."

A brown tabby with a white blaze on his chest nodded, and yowled to the others, leading them back up the slope. Fern watched them go, and Spiderpaw thought he saw the faintest gleam of pride in her eyes before she turned back to the Clan cats.

"Let's go."

. . .

When they entered camp, it was nightfall, and as such their reception was quieter than Spiderpaw had expected, considering how bloody they all were, and the fact that they were in the presence of a dangerous rogue. Fern seemed unimpressed by the camp, looking everything over with a dismissive expression, but she did stiffen when she found Eaglestrike glaring at her from the entrance of the medicine den.

He strode towards them, his fur bristling and claws unsheathed. "What's she doing here? She stinks of the muck and mud. What happened to your patrol?"

"Fern stepped in and helped us out," Spiderpaw said quickly, before his father could grow angrier. "There were these Twolegplace rogue that attacked us, and…if it wasn't for her, we'd all be dead."

Eaglestrike froze at that, and his eyes darted from his son, to Fern, and back. Spiderpaw winced, thinking that his father was remembering the last time a rogue had been the one to step in and save his son's life.

"I see," he meowed after a moment of pause. "Perhaps I should thank you, but considering that you all captured him before, I don't think I will. What do you want?"

"To talk to your leader," Fern said, cool despite Eaglestrike's former fury. "I already explained some of it to them, but I'd like to talk to her."

He growled. "Fat chance. You're not going anywhere near Silverstar, if I can help it."

"Just listen to her, Father," Spiderpaw started, but Eaglestrike silenced him with a flick of his tail.

"How many times now have you had a brush with death?" his father snapped. "Do you have any idea how much your mother worries about you?"

_This time it wasn't my fault, _Spiderpaw thought, feeling the old fury rising up within him. He managed to quell it, pushing it back. "I know, but Fern helped us, and from what she says there is a lot going wrong in Twolegplace. They might have a power struggle there on their paws, and even if we try to keep out of it, it'll involve us eventually. It already has. Tub-I mean, one of the rogues thinks that the patrol behind Birchpool's death was probably sent by Maggot, not Carmelo. Carmelo's not here."

Eaglestrike stared at his son for a moment, clearly wondering how he had gotten this information, before his brow furrowed. He let out a low hiss, before flicking his tail to Fern. "Fine. Come with me, but be warned that if you so much harm a hair on Silverstar's pelt, I will rip you limb from limb."

"Her fur's safe with me," Fern said, following Eaglestrike towards the medicine den. The two of them disappeared inside, and Shimmerfrost appeared a few minutes later, a small packet of herbs clutched in her jaws.

"I am really getting sick of my den being used as a meeting area," she fumed, stalking towards them. "You had not be injured too badly. I was trying to get some rest, for once."

"So sorry to inconvenience you," Spiderpaw couldn't help retorting. Shimmerfrost's icy eyes touched on him for a moment, but to his relief she said nothing. As she looked the four of them over, patching their wounds here and there with chewed-up marigold and cobwebs, Spiderpaw watched Leopardpaw with caution.

_She's shaken up, more than she should be, _he thought. _It's true that she's never killed before, but this is more than that. Somehow…she didn't think that the Twolegplace cats would attack her, that they would go as far as they did…and she didn't think that we would protect her, if it ever came down to it. She just assumed that we would let her get hurt._

He looked to Fireblaze, and saw how fiercely protective the ginger tom looked as he watched the dappled apprentice, even though there was no present danger. As soon as Shimmerfrost was finished with them, he let Leopardpaw lean on him again, and Spiderpaw saw the strange flame in his eyes.

_Does she understand what being a Clanmate is about now? Before when she said the word…it was like a kit learning the meaning of something for the first time._

Spiderpaw winced as Shimmerfrost dabbed at the scratches on his stomach and his other wounds, before the silver tabby sat back and admired her handiwork.

"The most serious injury is Leopardpaw's throat wound," she meowed. "She'll need to take it easy for a bit. Otherwise, the rest of you are fine. Might as well thank the stars tonight that you were only _almost _mangled to death."

Spiderpaw's fur bristled at the mocking tone Shimmerfrost used towards the stars, but he remained silent, not wanting to provoke her. She picked up the leftover herbs and padded back to her den without another word or a glance over her shoulder at her patients.

The four of them simply stood there for a long moment, unsure of what to do. They were all tired - Spiderpaw felt about ready to collapse - but were also all anxious to see what Silverstar and Eaglestrike would eventually decide to do about the rogue problem.

"Might as well camp out," Fireblaze said after a brief lull. "I don't think any of us will be getting sleep, knowing there's a rogue in the camp."

"There's a what?" came a sleepy voice, and Spiderpaw's heart leaped in his chest as he recognized it. Blackfeather peeked out at them from within the medicine den, rubbing one eye with her paw. It took her a moment to register that they were wrapped up in cobwebs, and when she did her tail fluffed up in alarm.

"What-" she started to ask, but Fireblaze shushed her.

"Don't wake up the whole camp," he meowed. "We're fine."

Blackfeather hurried towards them, silent as ever on her dainty paws. She took in their injuries, her golden eyes wide with anxiety. "There's a rogue in camp? What happened to you all, what's going on?"

They explained everything to her as quietly as they could, and her ears flattened with discomfort. "I'm glad you're all okay," she said, and shivered. "Is it weird to wish that the marsh cats had been around before, when…."

She trailed off, and Spiderpaw knew she was thinking of when her own patrol was attacked by the Twolegplace rogues. He touched her shoulder with his nose.

"We were lucky, that's all," he said. She nodded.

"I guess you're going to sit out here until Fern comes back, then?"

"I don't think we're going to be sleeping until she does," Fireblaze said. "You're welcome to join us."

Blackfeather smiled, then blinked. "Oh! What should I tell Blizzardpaw? We were waiting for you to come back from the patrol, Spiderpaw, so he's probably still awake."

Spiderpaw frowned, feeling Fireblaze and Petalcloud's curious eyes upon him. "I don't know, just make something up to explain why we aren't training tonight."

"I don't want to _lie _to him," she fretted. Spiderpaw snorted.

"You kept the moss thing from me for _how _long, exactly?" he teased, and she laughed.

"You deserved it, fur ball. Blizzardpaw's a sweetie," she mewed, but she was rising to her paws. "I'll be back here in a minute," she told her mother, before slipping into the apprentice den.

Spiderpaw's tail twitched with irritation as the two warriors gave him curious looks. "Blackfeather and I have been giving Blizzardpaw some training in our spare time, that's all. My father's been busy, and Blizzardpaw's worried he won't be ready in time for his assessment."

"If you two are double-teaming him, Redpaw will have to watch out," Fireblaze said, and Spiderpaw was amused to find a good-natured twinkle in his eyes, rather than the anger he might have expected. "Blizzardpaw will do fine, I'm sure."

Spiderpaw nodded, glancing back at the apprentice den as Blackfeather remerged.

"I told him that Eaglestrike told you guys to do some more scouting near the marsh before you left, and that you're reporting back to him now," she mewed. "He'll be asleep soon."

She sat down next to Spiderpaw, giving his injuries a sympathetic look. "Does it hurt?" she asked, reaching gingerly to touch the bite wound on his shoulder.

"Only when you touch it, mouse brain," Spiderpaw answered, pulling away. Blackfeather poked his stomach just above the scratches with a playful growl, and he nearly fell into a crouch to leap at her before remembering that her family was watching. Instead, he gave an embarrassed cough and licked his chest, while Blackfeather purred at him with amusement.

The black she-cat yawned and stretched out, resting her head on her paws. "How long do you think it will take?"

Fireblaze shrugged. "I can't imagine it would take too long for Eaglestrike to run her off, but who knows."

It turned out to be longer than they had anticipated; the five of them watched the moon rise to the peak of the sky before Fern appeared in the den. Her green eyes glowed eerily in the darkness, but she trotted to the entrance of the camp without a word to the waiting Clan cats.

Eaglestrike came out moments later, and his eyes narrowed as he spotted them. He closed the distance between them with a few strides.

"We didn't decide much," he said, holding up his tail to fend off their questions. "Fern explained to us the strange things that have been happening in Twolegplace, and we agreed that it's something to be wary of, but we're not taking any action as of yet. If things _do _prove dangerous, we might intervene. If it comes down to that, we'll send a few of our warriors in a joint mission with the marsh cats to hopefully quell whatever power struggles are arising."

"So we're siding with them?" Fireblaze growled, and Eaglestrike gave him a hard look.

"Silverstar made it official that the marsh cats can hold onto their territory, although we still can't speak for PeakClan's chunk," the deputy said. "But we're not 'on their side.' We're only going to help them if something shifts in Twolegplace that could be bad for us. As far as we know, the recent trouble with Twolegplace has been because of Maggot's influence. Fern says that Carmelo should return from his travels, and when he does, things should settle down. It's only if things don't that we'll be getting involved."

"Why can't they just settle their own problems?" Fireblaze fumed. "There's no reason for us to be caught up in it."

"Because Twolegplace is like a spider's web," Leopardpaw said quietly, the first time she had spoken in some time. "It traps you, so you can't escape. The only way to survive is to be the spider, and many cats are more than willing to kill for that role."

Eaglestrike's eyes rested on her for a moment, but he didn't address her comment. "Fireblaze, I need you to follow Fern. Make sure she gets to her border, and doesn't linger. But keep this quiet, understand? This goes for all of you. I don't want the Clan worrying about this; it might blow over. If anyone asks, you can tell them that you were attacked by a patrol of rogues, but it was a quick battle."

The group murmured their agreement, and Fireblaze dashed out of camp, to make sure he didn't lose Fern's scent.

"You should get some rest," Eaglestrike meowed to the remaining cats. "You'll be tired tomorrow. I'm glad you're all safe. Whether we like it or not, we have the rogues to thank for that…and if things do heat up in Twolegplae, we'll be making good on our prose. Be prepared for that." He bent down to touch noses with Spiderpaw, before padding to the warriors den.

Blackfeather flicked her tail against Spiderpaw's flank. "Your father's right, you're going to need to sleep this off. I'll see you tomorrow."

Spiderpaw watched her go, before turning to Leopardpaw, wanting to ask her about her earlier comment, but the dappled she-cat was already ducking into the apprentice den. Yawning, he followed her. Interrogating her could wait. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and sleep the night away.

He curled up in his nest, tucking his tail to his nose and allowing himself to relax. Just before he was about to drift off, a thought entered his mind.

_Just where is Carmelo traveling, if he's not home?_

**AN: Sorry this took so long. Spidey really wasn't cooperating, and things were just kinda stuck there for awhile. Hopefully the next chapter will come more easily. **

**Blog update might have to wait until tomorrow, I'm kinda sleepy. :p**


	53. C h a p t e r 52

**C**_**hapter**_** 52**

_She waited with impatience as the mist cleared and Chillpaw melted into view. His blue eyes bored into her, but he didn't say anything, even when she marched up to him without a trace of fear._

_"How could you?" she demanded. His expression was carefully neutral as he answered,_

_"Do what? You're going to have to be more specific."_

_"You know exactly what I'm talking about," she hissed. "How could you do that to Silverstar, your own flesh and blood? How could you kill her and condemn…and condemn those…." Her voice faltered as four tiny silver kits sprang into her mind._

_The white tom flicked his ear. "I don't understand why you're worked up about this again. I gave you your space today, as you had requested, and yet you still storm up to me as if the crime was fresh. Just what happened the other day to make your attitude change yet again? Do I need to dip my paw into the river of time and find out?"_

_Her first bristled. "No!" she spat. "I don't want you poking your nose into my past and spying on me. I'm sick of you peeking in on me like I'm a criminal, or a kit that needs constant attention. I want you to _back off._"_

_Chillpaw seemed confused. "Sootpaw, I honestly do not understand why you are so angry. If you would just settle down a moment perhaps we could discuss this rationally-"_

_"I will not!" she growled. "_You _were the one who said I need to be more assertive, and I am. I'm sick of your stupid secrets. I'm sick of you holding information above my head like a treat, and practically making me beg for it. I'm sick of being forced to follow you around like a dog and keep you out of trouble, like when you were trying to conjure up Lion. And, most of all, I am just sick to death of hearing your excuses for your crime. You _killed _Silverstar, and…." Her voice faltered again. As much as she tried, she couldn't force out what Bluepaw had told her, that Silverstar had been with kits when she had lost the life that Chillpaw stole from her. "And none of your justifications can change that," she said instead. "At the end of the day, you're still a murderer. Maybe it's a good thing you'll be wiped clean after all."_

_Chillpaw's eyes became icy once more, and his expression hardened. "I'm sorry you feel that way," he said, a slight hiss to his voice. Sootpaw thought she might have detected the faintest note of hurt, but she was not going to apologize. She was not going to pretend to be sorry. As far as she was concerned, he'd had this coming for a long time._

_"I'll leave you be, then," he said, and turned away. He waited a moment, as if Sootpaw would intervene, reconsider, object to his leaving, but that only deepened her resolve. He touched noses with Moonpaw, and faded away._

_The mist swept upon the two of them again, and Moonpaw blinked at Sootpaw with anxious eyes, eyes that were just as blue as Chillpaw's, and Sootpaw shivered._

_"I don't want to talk to you, either," she said. The hurt on Moonpaw's face was obvious, but she didn't say anything, simply melting away and leaving Sootpaw completely, utterly, totally alone._

She opened her eyes, and for a moment there was complete silence. Then, Bluepaw shifted beside her and let out a sleepy sigh, and Sootpaw felt the smallest tingle of relief. She sat up, rubbing one eye with her paw, before blinking up at the dark sky. The moon hung over her head like a glowing beacon, and she felt a strange yearning, wanting nothing more than to shed her clumsy shell of a body and float up to join it, to see what it was like to dance among the stars.

She gave herself a gentle shake. It was a stupid dream, really. She would never be one of those beautiful, lithe cats like Blackfeather or Swanpaw. She would always be one of the heavier sort, made of stone rather than air.

_That's just something I've got to face up to, I guess, _she thought, and rose to her paws, knowing that she was looking at another sleepless, restless night. _Maybe I can get a bit of hunting practice in. Just a little. Hopefully when I finish I'll be tired enough to sleep without any more dreams._

Without a glance at the others, she carefully stepped over Bluepaw and trotted into the forest.

The night was still. It was too cold for there to be any crickets out and chirping, the birds were all asleep or too chilled to sing out, and any furry prey was tucked away in a burrow somewhere. She knew almost immediately that any training would be futile, but she found herself walking anyway. There was something relaxing about the icy air, the way the dry leaves crackled underneath her paws, the way her only companion was the whisper of the wind through the brittle branches. For once, she was alone, and she found that she liked it. For too long, the Dark Forest cats had been hanging over her like a veiled threat. She knew she wasn't rid of them, but Chillpaw had granted her a reprieve.

_Chillpaw. _She felt a strange mixture of disgust and longing as she thought his name. He was a mystery, infuriatingly so. She couldn't pin him down no matter how hard she tried. Sometimes he treated her as dismissively as he would a kit, cloaking his secrets from her and watching her for any mistake. Other times, it seemed like they were old friends, such as when he had stopped by to give her advice on how to empower herself. Even with the full knowledge of his crimes weighing down on her shoulders, there was still some part of her that cared for him a great deal. She would miss him when the Pool of Eternal Night wiped away his memories, no matter what she had told him.

_Is it wrong of me to feel this way? _she wondered, scuffing her paw in the leaves. _Probably. I shouldn't feel compassion towards a murderer. And yet…aren't we always supposed to remain loyal towards our Clanmates? I know there's at least some part of him that was good. He did save Bluepaw and Redpaw, after all._

_But did he really save them? _a voice nagged. _Perhaps they were just a lucky opportunity for him. He needed to get close to Silverstar, after all, the sooner the better. Perhaps he stalked them, waited for Bramblethorn to fall before making his move, to ensure that he would receive all of the glory…._

Her ears flattened at the thought, but she knew she couldn't dismiss it entirely. Chillpaw had a very potent dark side, even if she didn't always want to acknowledge it.

_But there's kindness in him too, _she told herself, _like when he created that dream for me, with the snow. Or when he played Fox and Rabbit with me, even though there was nothing in it for him. Or when he talked to me when there was no one else I could speak to…there was no real reason for him to have done so. He knows I'm in this too deeply to turn my back on them now. But he still chose to, even though there was no prize for him to win or advantage for him to steal. What other reason could there have been, other than kindness?_

She blinked as she realized that her rambling thoughts had sent her wandering much farther away from the group than she'd intended. She stopped, glancing around, trying to remember which direction she had come. Her scent-trail was still strong, but the wind was whipping wildly through the trees, blowing in all directions and making her scent difficult to latch onto.

Then, she heard a twig crackle somewhere nearby, and she stiffened. A chill ran down her spine as she imagined a dozen enemies: a badger, a fox, a dangerous rogue, and more. She unsheathed, and her fur bristled as she prepared to fight whatever was out there.

There was more crackling, and a squirrel suddenly streaked past her, disappearing into the darkness. She watched it go, mystified, before laughing quietly. _Spooked by a squirrel. Some warrior you are, _she thought, before blinking. _What was the squirrel running from?_

She turned around just as the wind quieted, and saw a figure standing before her.

Instantly, she took a step backward, only to falter as his scent washed over her. It was overpowering, almost impossible to quantify; it was _warm _in a way that she had never experienced, like the smell of dark earth in the sun after a brief rain, or mist rising on a greenleaf morning. Without meaning to, she found herself taking several steps forward, before pausing as lucidity gripped her.

"W-who are you?" she stammered. The tom only smiled, and drew nearer, his scent growing stronger. Even in the moonlight, she could tell that his pelt was gold, and sleek. His eyes were golden as well, the color of melted honey.

"Don't be afraid," he murmured, and the richness of his voice made her own seem infantile in comparison. "I won't hurt you."

It was all she could do not to melt as he watched her. There was something about his scent that made her head feel fuzzy, and his _eyes _were captivating in a way that she had never known. It was impossible for her to draw away, despite the tiny sense of wrongness that was nibbling at the back of her mind.

"Now," he said, tilting his head to the side, "who are _you?_"

"Sootp…Soot," she said, as some part of her remembered that she should not give away the fact that she was a Clan cat to this stranger.

"Soot?" he echoed, and smiled again. "A lovely name befitting such a pretty cat."

Heat flashed underneath her fur, and she wanted to drop his gaze, but couldn't. He had drawn closer again without her noticing, close enough that she could almost touch him.

"There are more of you, though, aren't there?" he continued, and she blinked.

"How did you know?" she asked, hating how much like a kit she sounded, and wishing that she could have a voice full of confidence and mystique, like Leopardpaw.

"I've a keen ear and sharp eyes," he purred, and she went rigid as an image of a different rogue flashed through her mind.

_The one in my dream, _she thought through the haze that the tom had created. _The one that spoke to Foxpaw and Birchpaw…the one that led them astray._

She took a step away from him. "Y-yes, there are more. I should be getting back to them right now, as a matter of fact. I-I was hunting with a few of them, and they'll be worried if I don't return."

He chuckled. "I don't think there's anyone else coming. You're out here alone. But you don't have to worry. I promise, I don't intend to hurt you." He was even closer now, and he had bent down slightly so that they were on eye-level. His golden eyes were mesmerizing, and she found her fear melting away as she stared into them. "Just what is your group out here for, Soot? Some of them smell faintly familiar. Are you looking for something?" He smiled once more, and his fangs glinted in the moonlight. "Me, perhaps?"

His identity clicked into place, and she stiffened. _Carmelo. _

His eyes gleamed, and she realized she had spoken aloud. "Yes. But not everyone knows me by that name. Only the cats near a certain Twolegplace of mine…so who are you, Soot? Or dare I say, Sootpaw?"

Her heart was beating furiously in her chest, and she forced herself to tear her gaze away from his. She unsheathed her claws, fur bristling. "Get away from me."

He tilted his head to the side. "Now, Sootpaw, don't be so angry. What have I ever done to you?" He paused for a moment, his tail flicking from side to side, before he chuckled. "Tell me, how is your journey going? Have you found the herbs that you're looking for?"

_How does he know? _she wondered, her breath catching.

"I'm not telling you anything," she spat, taking a few steps backwards. He seemed amused.

"You're not fast enough to outrun me," he meowed, "and not strong enough to hold me off."

"But I am," a voice growled from behind Sootpaw, and she turned to find Rook glaring at Carmelo defiantly. The golden tom seemed almost puzzled as he sniffed the air.

"You don't smell like the rest of them, so you're not a Clanner," he said. "Why help her? If you live around here, then your right to the land was granted by me. I can give you more, if you like, or perhaps nose you up the ranks in Twolegplace, if you'd prefer that. There's no reason to travel with them."

"Back offa her," Rook ordered, ignoring Carmelo's proposition entirely, "and get outta here. The Clanners ain't looking for you, or trouble. They're just lookin' out for themselves, and there's no reason you should be involved. Go."

Sootpaw was surprised to see some grudging admiration in the golden tom's eyes. Then, he laughed.

"Not since Cane died have I been spoken to in such a manner," he purred. "I'll remember you. When you're finished playing the hero, come and see me some time. There's always room in the ranks for brave toms." He flicked his eyes back to Sootpaw. "Wouldn't want to hold you up on your journey, now. Besides, I have plans of my own. Good night, Sootpaw…and keep safe." There was an ominous note in his voice, and Rook advanced with a growl, but Carmelo was already turning away. With surprising grace, he disappeared into the brush, although it took several moments for Sootpaw to look away.

"Did he hurt you?" Rook growled. Sootpaw shook her head.

"I'm fine," she mewed. "I probably shouldn't be. He was…captivating. I don't understand it."

"In Twolegplace, we heard he was a master o' man-ep-pu-lation, 'specially with she-cats," the brown rogue said. "It's no surprise he was able to charm you. He's done the same to tougher cats. You looked like you coulda taken him, though."

Her ears pricked with surprise. "Don't you remember the last time I was in a battle?"

"Yer not as much of a mouse now, though," he replied, with a bit of a cheeky grin. "I think you've toughened up a bit. You were brave enough to stand up to me, at least, when I was angry 'bout Nightingale and everythin'. That took guts."

His accent was grating on her nerves, even though she knew he meant well. She was honestly surprised that he had come after her, despite his improved opinion of her after she had confronted him about Nightingale.

"How did you know where I was?" she asked. "Why were you awake?"

"Rabbitleap kicked my nose in 'er sleep," he meowed, reaching up with one paw to touch it as if it was still tender. "She din't do it on purpose, but it was enough to wake me up. Then I saw you weren't there, and I figgered it was a bad idea to let you run aroun' on yer own. An' I was right."

"Maybe it was foolish of me," she admitted. "I just needed a little bit of time to clear my head."

He gave her a glance, his green eyes gleaming with curiosity. "What had you so bothered?"

She glanced down at her paws, seeing how bright her white paw was in the moonlight. "I can't say."

"Do you think I'd be one ter spill yer secrets?"

She gave her head a quick shake. "No, no, it's not that. It's just...not something I can really tell anyone. It's complicated, that's all." She gave him a small smile. "Sometimes there are things that you just have to figure out on your own, you know?"

He seemed dubious. "I've always had Nightingale to help me figger things out," he said. "Seems to me like you could use someone like that too."

Her face heated underneath her fur, and she thought ruefully how the only cat she was completely honest with was the root of her problems. There was something about Chillpaw that made her feel at ease; his judgements were always completely impartial, because he had no emotions or specific loyalties to color them, like other cats. He was honest with her, in ways that normal cats couldn't be.

And yet, he still had his secrets.

She blinked as she realized that her thoughts had gotten a bit away from her, and Rook was still waiting for her reply.

"I sort of have someone," she mewed. Rook's nose twitched.

"Is this 'someone' imaginary?"

Her thoughts immediately went to Moonpaw, and she gaped at him for a moment, wondering how he could know about her. Rook seemed a bit uncomfortable about mentioning it, for he shuffled his paws and dropped her eyes.

"I mighta overheard Bluepaw talkin' 'bout it," he mumbled. "She was tellin' Sage about how you had an imaginary friend when you were a kit. She meant well, I think."

Sootpaw felt a burst of irritation towards the medicine apprentice. She was sure that Bluepaw hadn't meant anything bad by it either, but at the same time, Moonpaw was a private affair. Sootpaw knew that it was silly to cling to an imaginary friend for so long, but surely it wasn't so bad, if Chillpaw and the others played along? Moonpaw was real in her dreams and in the Dark Forest, as real as anything else. She wasn't all mice and moonlight.

"I gave her up a long time ago," she lied. "My confidante isn't imaginary, but he isn't really...here, either."

Rook stared at her for a moment, before shrugging his large shoulders. "Who you talk to is yer bizz, I guess...but if you need an open ear, I'm here."

She was a bit taken aback by his generosity, but murmured a quiet 'Thank you,' before rising to her paws. "We should be getting back."

"Aye," he said, standing up as well. Sootpaw watched the moonlight glance off his dark coat - even with so much light, his pelt was still shadowy, as if it sucked in the light rather than reflect it - before tilting her head to blink up at the night sky. She watched the twinkling stars, and smiled.

"They're so pretty," she mewed, and Rook followed her gaze.

"They're okay."

"Don't you think they're beautiful? They're small, but still so bright, and when you watch them, they almost seem to dance..." Longing entered her voice. Beside her, Rook shrugged.

"I've always been more partial to the moon," he said, and for a moment his accent slipped back into the silvery tone of a kittypet, although he didn't seem to notice. "There are hundreds, maybe even thousands of stars in the sky, and they're the focus of many a tale, but would they be so beautiful if there was only one? Alone, they're insignificant, whereas the moon can stand all on its own. Not only that, but it's intelligent enough to grow and shrink; if it was always shining as brightly as tonight, we would take it for granted." His green eyes had clouded over slightly as he watched the pale sphere.

"The moon is bold," he continued. "It strikes out on its own and doesn't need anyone else. It's large, but it still has its own elegance, and I think it's more beautiful than any star could ever be."

He glanced at her, and she felt the slightest flicker of warmth creep over her face.

"You sure do talk a lot, when no one else is around," was all she said as she began walking. Rook hesitated, before following her as they headed back to camp.

_Maybe he's right, _she mused. _There are an awful lot of stars, and even so they can't outshine the moon…sometimes it's hard to believe that every star is a cat's spirit. I guess if you added up every cat that ever died from FrozenClan, MarshClan, ShellClan, BirchClan, PeakClan, and AshClan, you would have a lot…and there would be more with the forest Clans from my dreams, too. _She blinked. _If those dreams happened in the past, a long time ago…does that mean everyone on the journey is a star now? _Her eyes widened at the thought. It had been painful to watch Nightpaw die and be unable to help, but if the dreams were in the past, then every one of the journeying cats had been dead for years.

_Maybe they all died of old age, _she thought, trying to be hopeful. _They probably finished their mission and went home to be welcomed back by their family…maybe Fogheart even got to be the leader of ThunderClan, and earned nine lives. I wonder, does each one of a leader's lives become a star? Or do they just wait for him, and all unite into a star together?_

She stopped walking as an idea struck her. _Brightstar never received her nine lives. She didn't get the benefit of those extra years in the Dark Forest, and yet she's still the oldest in the group, and hasn't started fading yet. Shrew lived in her time as well, and considering how young he looks, I don't think he lived for very long out of the famine. How have the two of them lasted this long?_

She was so consumed by her thoughts that she barely noticed when they reentered camp. Rook returned to Nightingale, and she curled up next to Bluepaw, trying to lull herself to sleep again in hopes of speaking to Shrew, but try as she might, her heart was still pounding from her encounter with Carmelo.

_What could he possibly be doing out here? _she wondered. _How did he know that we're looking for herbs? The only way for him to know would be for someone to have told him before we left, right? But who would do that, and why?_

Her churning thoughts kept her awake for the rest of the night.

. . .

By the time the next night rolled around, she was completely exhausted. The day had been monotonous - another day of walking beside the Thunderpath with no clear goal in sight - and it had been all she was able to do just to keep her eyes open. She curled up beside Bluepaw, resting her head on her paws. As soon as she closed her eyes, she was gone.

_She was relieved - for once - to see mist when she opened her eyes. Moonpaw bounced towards her at once, her blue eyes bright._

_"You're back!" she chirped. "What's up?"_

_"I need you to get Chillpaw for me."_

_"Are you guys going to make up?"_

_Sootpaw twitched her ear with irritation. "I don't want to talk to him. I want to talk to Shrew, but I can't do that without Chillpaw being here."_

_Moonpaw frowned. "Are you sure you don't want to talk to him? He doesn't have many friends, you know."_

_"Probably because he's a dead murderer," Sootpaw snapped, then winced as she saw Moonpaw's hurt expression. "Sorry. I'm not angry with you, just him. Please, can you get him for me?"_

_Moonpaw sighed, then nodded, quickly disappearing into the mist. Sootpaw sat down, curling her tail around her paws and shivering as a tendril of mist touched her coat. She knew that she might not like whatever answers Shrew had for her, but she had to know. Every detail that she could find out about the Dark Forest cats might prove to be important in some way._

_It took longer for Chillpaw to appear than it normally did, but his white form eventually emerged in the mist, trailed by a dark shadow. Moonpaw was with him, and she touched his nose as he drew closer to Sootpaw so that he and Shrew could completely materialize. Chillpaw's usual forest scene fell into place around them, and Moonpaw disappeared to wherever she went when she wasn't needed._

_Chillpaw and Sootpaw stared at each other for a long moment, neither willing to break the gaze, until Shrew gave a timid cough._

_"You wanted to see me?" he asked Sootpaw, and she was forced to look away from the white tom, and nod._

_"I just have a few questions for you, is all," she mewed._

_"I'll give you two some time alone," Chillpaw said, before giving Shrew a parting look that almost seemed lik a warning. Shrew shuddered and nodded, and the white tom started to pad away._

_"Don't go to the pool," Sootpaw said, and Chillpaw paused. For a few seconds, he only stared at her, his icy eyes unreadable, before he dipped his head._

_"As you wish," he said, before slipping into the brush._

_Shrew shuffled his paws anxiously. "So, um, what more do you want to know? I can't really think of anything important about my life that I left out before..."_

_"It's not so much about your life, but your afterlife that I'm interested in," Sootpaw said. She sat down again, and invited him to do the same, hoping to get the skinny tom to relax a bit, as he had before._

_"O-okay," he stammered, before looking down at his paws. "Can I ask you something first, though?"_

_She was a bit puzzled, but figured one question couldn't hurt. "Sure, go ahead."_

_"Do...do you hate me?" He peeked up at her, looking anxious._

_The question took her aback, and she had to think it over for a moment. What Shrew had done was horrible; there was no question about that. She could never imagine doing the same thing herself. But he had been desperate, and openly admitted that what he had done was disgusting and unforgivable._

And,_ she reminded herself, _the kits he killed were at least able to reach StarClan.

_"No," she answered. "I don't hate you, Shrew. Nothing can really make up for what you did while you were alive, but...I don't hate you."_

_He gave her a trembling smile. "Are you just saying that because you and Chillpaw are having a fight?"_

_She blinked. "What?"_

_"When he came back from your dreams earlier, he seemed...disgruntled, which isn't really like him," Shrew explained. "And then he actually snapped at Dapplefern, when she was complaining about her fur being hard to groom when she could no longer see it. Chillpaw never yells about things like that, but he did. We figured you and him were having a disagreement." He cocked his head to the side. "Did he do something to upset you? I've heard him talking to Blight before about ways to avoid that. He doesn't seem to like making you uncomfortable."_

_Sootpaw flushed underneath her fur. "We had an argument, but I don't really want to talk about it."_

_"I understand," Shrew mumbled, scuffing one paw against the ground. "So...what did you want to know about my afterlife?"_

_"Brightstar lived a very long time ago," Sootpaw meowed. "And Chillpaw told me that here, cats live about half as long as they did in real life. Even though time moves slower here as compared to real life, it still doesn't make sense for Brightstar to have lived as long as she did. At first, I assumed it was just because she had nine lives, but when she was telling me her story, she admitted that she had never received them. And then there's you. You were a warrior when she was the leader, weren't you? And you don't seem that old, so you shouldn't have had a lot of time here either. How have you two survived for so long in the Dark Forest?"_

_Shrew winced. "It's something else that I'm not really proud of."_

_She waited patiently, and he sighed._

_"I'm not sure how much Chillpaw has told you, so I'll explain as much as I can," he said. "There's only one star in the Dark Forest, and that's the north star. It's supposed to be able to lead cats to redemption. Most of the cats here don't believe in that, but some do. I...I did. So I followed the north star and I found that in order to reach redemption, you have to pass these nine tests. They're different for every cat, save for the first and last ones. They're supposed to help you realize your faults, so you can move past them and enter StarClan._

_"I passed the first eight, but I couldn't do the ninth. The ninth test is always selflessness, and I..." He bowed his head. "I'm the most selfish cat I know."_

_Sootpaw listened with curiosity. "What did you do, then?"_

_"There's a bit group of cats that waits by the mountain where the ninth test takes place," Shrew explained. "They're led by a cat named Shadeclaw, who was the very first cat to be sent to the Dark Forest. He found a way to take life force from other cats, and he created a gang of sorts that forcefully take it from the cats trying to enter StarClan. I had nowhere else to go, and I was terrified of fading...so I joined them."_

_"And Brightstar was with them, wasn't she?" Sootpaw asked, and he nodded._

_"She doesn't like to talk about it. I think she might be ashamed that she had to work for someone else just to stay alive. But that's where she heard the rumors about the Pool of Eternal Night. She was sick of taking orders from Shadeclaw, so she left. And I was tired of having to help hurt all those cats just to stick around...so I followed her. She didn't know it at first, and she was angry when she found out that I was with her, but she needed every cat she could find to help with the ceremony."_

_"So you attacked the cats that were looking to find StarClan?"_

_He nodded. "We did. Shadeclaw told us it was the only way to make sure we didn't fade away, since we couldn't reach StarClan. Sometimes a few cats slipped past us...and they passed the test by giving away some of their life force to their friends, to help them. It seemed like that was the only way to make it into StarClan, and I...I wasn't brave enough to do it." He sighed. "Dying only made me weaker, I think...clinging to life was one thing, but this...the Dark Forest is a terrible place, but I still can't force myself to let go."_

_"Not everyone can be a hero," Sootpaw said. "I...I know I'm not." She shook her head. "I try to be, but somehow I always mess everything up. Rainwind died because of me, because he promised to protect me. So far I haven't really helped anyone on the journey, I guess. It was Bluepaw who saved Nightingale after I told her about my dreams. The journey probably would have been better off without me. But you'll get a second chance, unlike me. You can do better this time, right? You can be the noble cat that you were meant to be, in your next life."_

_"I don't know if I'll be able to do it...but I'll do my best," he said. "I just want another shot at things...to be able to live without anyone remembering me or what I've done. And you've given that to me, and all of us..." He glanced nervously towards where Chillpaw had disappeared. "Am I allowed to thank you?"_

_Her whiskers twitched. "I don't know why you couldn't."_

_"Well, not too long ago, Chillpaw was angry at Swiftshade for something, after the two of them came back from one of your dreams," he elaborated. "Chillpaw wouldn't say why, but I asked Swiftshade later - he doesn't mind talking to me as much as the others - and all he would tell me was that he thanked you for helping us."_

_Sootpaw blinked, remembering the strange expression on the blue-and-white tom's face. "I remember. But I don't think Chillpaw was mad about that. I had the feeling that Swiftshade almost let something slip..." She trailed off, then shook her head. "You're allowed to thank me, though, I'm pretty sure." She gave him a teasing smile._

_"Well then...thank you. Tremendously. I mean that with every part of my being." The tabby's face glowed with earnestness. "I know it must all be so scary - the journey, listening to us, the ceremony - and I would neverbe able to do it, but you're terribly brave, and I'm grateful for that."_

_"The ceremony?" she echoed, and he nodded._

_"It will probably be frightening, being in the pitch-black forest with a bunch of dangerous criminals that you don't know if you can really trust," he said. _

_She smiled. "I think I can trust you, and Swiftshade. There's something...kinder about you two. I don't know, I just feel like if anyone manages to do well in their new life, it will be you guys."_

_Shrew seemed embarrassed, and he began scuffing his paw in the dirt. "I can't remember the last time anyone said something nice about me."_

_She sidled up next to him, flicking her tail against his flank. "I think you could be a very good cat, if you really tried."_

_"I will," he promised fervently. "I swear, I'll be the best cat I can be."_

_She gave him the smallest nuzzle with her nose, and from the way he went rigid under her touch, she guessed that he had rarely received physical affection, even in life. "I know."_

_There was a rustle behind them, and Sootpaw drew away from Shrew as Chillpaw came into view. He gave them both a look, appearing almost sour._

_"Are you finished yet?" he growled. Sootpaw glanced towards Shrew, and nodded._

_"I think so," she said. "Thanks for bringing him. I'm sure you have better things to do."_

_He paused for a moment, as if considering her. "I do. You were supposed to speak with Blight tonight, but I didn't think it would be a good idea to push the issue."_

_She froze. "Blight?"_

_"It had to happen eventually. Did you think he was just going to go away?"_

_"No, of course not, but…I didn't think it would be so soon." She shivered at the idea of the tom's single eye, the way he stared at her, as if she was a piece of prey._

_"I'm going to take Shrew back, but I'll be returning," the white tom said. "We need to talk."_

_Her ears flattened, but she didn't object as the black apprentice appeared to send the two of them away. It only took a few minutes for Chillpaw to return, sans Shrew. He studied her for a moment, and she tried to look stern, not wanting to waver. What he had done was inexcusable._

_"You are still angry," he said, but when he didn't answer, he dipped his head. "Allow me to apologize, then. I do not know what made you so angry recently, but if it was my fault - if I have erred in some way without knowing it - then I am sorry."_

_"You know exactly what you did," she growled, "and apologizes won't make it okay."_

_"I wish it would, with you at least," was his answer, and she went rigid with surprise. He sat down, curling his tail around his paws. "You put a lot of weight behind what a cat does and does not like. You think that having such distinctions is very important. I do not have many, because I do not have feelings about many subjects…but if there is one thing that I dislike, it is having you look at me with such displeasure and disgust in your eyes."_

_She took a step back, wanting to turn away, only to hesitate as he said her name with more tenderness than she would have thought possible from such a frozen heart._

_"No cat in AshClan was cruel to me," he said. "None of them were haughty, or dismissive. Most of them were kind…but it was because they did not know me. They did not know what I was planning. They did not know who I truly was, and thus their kindness was meaningless, foolish. But you…you did not know me until after the fact. You only knew the suffering I had caused, the sorrow, the nightmares that I plagued you with, and yet…you were still kind. You were _warm, _even. And you had no reason to be, you had no reason to help us at all and take these risks, and yet you did, because you felt that it was right to give us a second chance."_

_"Maybe I was wrong to do so."_

_"Perhaps. But the wheels are in motion now, and this is a monster that you cannot stop." He stepped forward, flicking his tail underneath her chin until she tilted her head up to look into his eyes. "It will not be long before the time for the ceremony arrives, and I would like it if the time between then and now was not shadowed by your loathing. Please."_

_She wavered, then nodded with a quiet exhale. "Okay. But you have to promise me that things will be different, Chillpaw."_

_"Did I not already make such a promise before?"_

_"I want you to mean it this time. I want you to _feel _it. I want to know that when the ceremony is over, I won't have released a murderer. Promise me that things will be different this time. Promise me you'll find a different path."_

_He blinked down at her, before gently bending down until his nose touched hers. A chill ran through her as he murmured, "I promise."_

_She was frozen underneath his touch, her breath caught somewhere in her throat and her heart too stunned to beat, until he pulled away._

_"The dawn is coming, for you," he said. "Blight will have to wait until the next night. Sootpaw." His voice lowered. "Whatever Blight tells you, it doesn't change who you are, understand? You are every bit the hero that you claim you are not. Be strong, and do not be afraid."_

_She blinked at him with befuddlement, then nodded, still a little breathless. Chillpaw gave her a genuine smile - small though it was - before padding away and disappearing into the mist._

**AN: Welp, now we know how Carmelo was able to charm a fair number of the tough ladies, like Flicka. And Toxin. Not Nightshade, though, she was much too deeply entwined with Blight to be led astray.**

**Blog update some time tomorrow, I'm going to be a little busy. :)**


	54. C h a p t e r 53

Chapter 53

The first thing he felt was shooting pain as a paw - claws unsheathed - stomped on his tail. He was immediately awake, but by the time he had blinked the sleep from his eyes and risen to his paws, all he was able to catch a glance of was the perpetrator's ginger tail disappearing into the sunlight. Letting out a low growl, he glanced over his shoulder to make sure that Redpaw's nest was empty - just in case Fireblaze was up to his old tricks - before heaving himself to his paws and padding out of the entrance.

Redpaw was hovering near a group of warriors - one of which was Stormshadow - so Spiderpaw didn't have the chance to retaliate. Squinting up at the sky, he realized that it was dawn, and he let out a low groan. He, Blackfeather, and Blizzardpaw had been training for hours the night before, and he was bone-achingly tired. Giving Redpaw a parting glare, he slunk back into the apprentice den, ready to curl up and get a bit more sleep. He quickly found that it wouldn't be possible; his tail was aching, and his stomach was beginning to groan with hunger pangs already. He stuck it out for a bit longer, trying desperately to lull himself to sleep, but found that the more he struggled, the more awake he became. Finally, he gave up with an irrupted sigh, giving Blizzardpaw, Robinpaw, and Leopardpaw envious looks before he rose and slipped out of the den.

He padded towards the fresh-kill pile with fury in his steps. Redpaw and the others were gone, probably on the dawn patrol. He couldn't wait until the ginger apprentice came back so he could chew him out. Redpaw hadn't given up his grudge as Fireblaze had, and Spiderpaw knew it meant nothing but trouble. He'd have to deal with the ginger tom eventually, and it was better to do it now than on a battlefield somewhere, where the Clan would need to be strong and able to rely on one another.

He picked out a thrush from the fresh-kill pile, and was going to curl up and eat it himself, when he realized that Jaggedclaw might be awake. The scarred tom was lying in the entrance to his den, his head on his paws and his single eye closed, but his breathing was uneven and shallow.

Spiderpaw felt a prickle of unease, but he shook himself. _Jaggedclaw will be fine. He's strong enough to beat whatever he has…and I'm sure it's just a cold, something simple, nothing to worry about._

He trotted towards the old tom, but Jaggedclaw didn't react, even as he drew close. Spiderpaw hesitated, before reaching out to poke him with one paw.

"I think I've warned you about that before," the tabby rumbled without opening his eyes. "You really seem intent on losing that paw."

Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched, and he dropped the thrush. "Are you feeling okay, then?"

Jaggedclaw's shoulders shook, as if he was withholding a cough. "Just fine."

The black apprentice frowned. "Really, Jaggedclaw, how long has this been going on? How long have you been sick? You should speak to Shimmerfrost, and get this all figured out-"

Jaggedclaw cut him off with a growl, and cracked open his eye. "I am not going to Shimmerfrost. My condition is none of your concern."

"You can't be selfish liked this," Spiderpaw meowed. "I know you think you're being noble, trying to protect everyone else, but there are cats here who need you, who care for you. You're mentoring me, in more ways than one…you help me keep a perspective that isn't completely dominated by my own wants. You keep me from getting a big head. And what about Reedrush? When she comes home, you're the first cat that she's going to want to find."

"Drop it," Jaggedclaw ordered, but the apprentice kept going.

"If you die, she'll never know how you felt," he said. "You _love _her, Jaggedclaw, and you can't pretend that you don't. You have to be here to tell her."

"Why don't you?" the scarred tom snapped. "Leave me alone."

"At least eat something." He nudged the thrush towards him, but Jaggedclaw lifted his lip, baring his fangs.

"I mean it, Spiderpaw. Leave me alone." With that, he turned away, repositioning himself so that Spiderpaw was only staring at his broad back. The black tom led out a hiss of frustration, prodding the scarred tabby's back with one paw, but received no reply.

"I'll tell Shimmerfrost myself!" he threatened, but they both knew that he wouldn't. Jaggedclaw would only refuse treatment if he did, and would probably never speak to him again.

"I'm leaving the thrush. You can have it when you're not being a stupid fur ball," he growled, finally looking away. He was seething inside, but the anger was born out of worry. As much as he hated to admit it, he _liked _the old tom. Jaggedclaw was strong, sure, but there was more to it than that. He was steady, and wise, even though he didn't believe it. He had a wealth of knowledge stored away from his various misadventures, and was one of the few cats willing to call Spiderpaw out on his own stupidity. He was the one tom that Spiderpaw could confide in without worrying about word eventually reaching his father. And he was infuriatingly _noble, _in a self-sacrificing way.

"Spiderpaw?"

Blackfeather's calm voice jolted him out of his thoughts, and he blinked at her, wondering how she could have walked up to him without him noticing. She cocked her head to the side, watching him with curiosity. A pigeon was hanging in her jaws. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he snapped in a very Jaggedclaw-esque manner. Blackfeather seemed dubious, and he sighed. "Sorry. I'm not angry with you. Jaggedclaw just has his tail in a knot again, is all."

"Is he starving himself again?" she asked, peering past him. Spiderpaw shook his head.

"I don't think so. He's just not eating right now to spite me, because I made him angry…never mind. It's between us."

"Okay…well, do you want to share this pigeon with me, since you're thrush-less now?"

His whiskers twitched; he could use some cheering up. "Sure."

Blackfeather led him to the edge of camp, and they curled up together, taking turns nibbling the fresh-kill. Underneath the feathers, there wasn't much meat, another reminder of leaf-bare's chilling touch. The prey would likely become even more scarce and thinner in the subsequent moons, and this time they didn't have the marsh to fall back on.

That was only one worry gnawing on the Clan's mind, of course, and he found his eyes lingering on the entrance to the medicine den, as he thought of Silverstar. He was quite certain that only a few cats were aware that she was kits, himself included, but eventually word would get out. If Silverstar lost another life, he wasn't sure they would be able to keep things quiet. Jaypaw was in the medicine den, after all, and he would be a witness if something went wrong.

Spiderpaw blinked, remembering how Jaypaw had said that Robinpaw and Blackfeather visited him in the medicine den now and then. Again, he wondered if Blackfeather knew Silverstar's secret.

_Did Jaypaw mention it? _he thought, his eyes widening as he remembered how worried Blackfeather had been before, and how she had deflected his questions by saying that she was only worried about something that Jaypaw had told her.

His eyes darted towards the black she-cat, but she seemed oblivious as she chewed, lost in her own thoughts. His eyes traced her sleek coat, her feathered tail, the dainty way her paws held onto the pigeon as she took another bite, the way her golden eyes glimmered faintly as she looked at him-

"Spiderpaw?"

He was snapped out of his thoughts yet again. "Sorry."

"Something wrong?"

He hesitated, then decided to take a leap of faith. "Are you worried about Silverstar?"

She seemed confused. "Of course. We all are…I mean, she's sick, and she's already lost one life. She only has five left."

"That's not what I meant," he countered. "There are other complications, aren't there? Besides just the sickness, I mean."

"The rogues?" she hazarded, but she seemed uneasy, and she dropped his gaze.

"I think you know what I mean," he pressed. "I overheard her and Shimmerfrost talking. I know."

She took in a sharp breath. "Y-you do?"

He nodded, and her ears flattened. "Jaypaw mentioned something about it to me, when I visited him while Shimmerfrost was gone…something about how she seemed to be gaining weight, and it was strange because of the sickness and leaf-bare, and everything…I didn't think much of it at first, but then when we saw her in the daylight, it just seemed so much more obvious…I'm sure Shimmerfrost would have noticed sooner, if she wasn't so distracted." Blackfeather fidgeted. "I haven't told anyone else. Have you?"

He shook his head. "No. The Clan would panic if they found out."

She nodded. "I'm pretty close to panicking myself. I just…I just don't know what will happen, if the journeying cats don't get back in time, or if the cure isn't enough to save her from losing them…I feel like we'll be losing our leader all over again. Chillpaw betraying her was bad enough, but can you imagine if she lost her own kits?"

"I know, I was thinking the same thing," he said. "It's so frustrating, to think that there's nothing we can do…whatever this cure is, it had better be special." He gripped the ground with his claws. "I hope it's worth all the time they've spent away, when we need them here."

"Just think of all that's changed since they left," Blackfeather said. "The marsh rogues came in, PeakClan moved their camp, we've made new deals with both of them…we've been attacked a couple of times by the Twolegplace rogues, and Birchpool…." She trailed off, and her eyes clouded with pain. "Thistlethorn will come back to find that his mother is gone…and the PeakClan warriors might find that their loved ones are gone too. It's going to be hard for everyone."

A chill ran down his spine. "What if they can't bring enough of the cure back for everyone? It will be like the snowberries, but worse. I can see a war breaking out between the Clans for it, and with the rogues, that's the last thing we need right now."

"The Clans wouldn't survive that." Blackfeather shuddered. "I think AshClan would win, since we have fewer sick cats…but then Carmelo would seize the opportunity to wipe us out."

"Or Maggot, or Flicka," he reminded her. "We don't know what part they play in all of this."

She pressed her nose between her paws. "Oh, Spiderpaw, everything's just such a mess. I'm not sure that we can get this all straightened out even if the journey cats _do _come back in time. I know it's selfish to wish that everything could be easy, but…I'm starting to wonder if StarClan has a plan for us at all."

He couldn't admit that he had been having the same doubts, especially after seeing AshClan's medicine cat flouting the code without any apparent remorse or guilt. He reached out with his nose, touching her muzzle. "I'm sure everything will be fine. If StarClan can't fix things, then we will." He tried to inject his voice with optimism, and Blackfeather smiled.

"You're your father's son," she said, her golden eyes soft. "I bet some day it will be you up there on the BranchPile."

He flushed underneath his fur. "Yeah, right. I'm sure StarClan would be really happy to have a leader who snaps at his Clanmates and makes friends with rogues."

"Better to have rogue allies than none at all," she pointed out, flicking her tail against his flank playfully. "Maybe you have a career as a Twolegplace boss, instead."

"Being top cat would be pretty cool, but I'd have to do something about the smell," he snorted.

"Make everyone bathe at least once a day, no exceptions!" she purred.

Spiderpaw laughed, his gloomy mood evaporating as the two of them traded ideas on how to rule the city - his personal favorite was that she-cats had to say _exactly _what they meant, instead of trying to confuse everyone with their feminine tricks - as the sun rose overhead. The dawn patrol returned, but Spiderpaw barely noticed Redpaw flounce towards Robinpaw and Blizzardpaw, clearly still proud of his earlier jab in the apprentice den.

He and Blackfeather were discussing the merits of taking food from Twolegs now and then - she was for, but only in the case of queens with hungry kits to feed, he was against - when Leopardpaw waltzed up to the two of them, with her usual smug expression.

"Hey, Spiderpaw," she said, ignoring Blackfeather entirely. "I'm taking Fireblaze hunting, and we were wondering if you wanted to come with us, to round out the group."

Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched - he doubted Fireblaze was letting Leopardpaw take him anywhere - but he shrugged.

"Sure," he said, before looking to Blackfeather. She shook her head.

"I promised I'd go with Frostfeather on the sunhigh patrol," she mewed. "You guys won't be back before then, I'm sure. Have fun." She touched his nose with her own, and he ignored the tingling that spread through his fur as he rose to his paws. Leopardpaw glanced between the two of them, but said nothing. She led him back towards Fireblaze, who was standing in the entrance.

"I figured we'd swing by the river, and see if we can fish," Fireblaze said. He wrinkled his nose as if the thought displeased him, and again Leopardpaw seemed smug. Spiderpaw knew it had probably been her idea, but she hadn't corrected him, for once.

"Sounds good to me," Spiderpaw said, "although the water will be freezing."

"Can't say that I'm looking forward to it, but the Clan has to be fed," Fireblaze said. "We figured that PeakClan might try to squabble over it if they find us there, though - the fish belong to them too, after all - so we thought it would be wise to have some back-up, just in case. You had Leopardpaw's tail in the battle, so she suggested you."

At that, Leopardpaw seemed almost embarrassed. "It was the logical decision," she blustered. Fireblaze gave her a playful nudge, before flicking his tail.

"Let's go. It's not getting any warmer." He turned to exit the camp, only to pause as someone shouted his name.

Redpaw barreled towards them, his amber eyes bright with excitement. "Wait for me, Fireblaze! I want to come."

The ginger warrior seemed dubious. "You were on the dawn patrol, right? You're probably tired. You should get some rest, and then train with your mentor later. You've got to be up for taking on Blizzardpaw, when the time comes."

"But I want to come," Redpaw insisted. "I won't get in the way, I promise. And I'm not tired, not even a little bit. Besides," he paused to shoot Spiderpaw a dirty look, "we both know that if PeakClan pokes their ugly noses into things, or the rogues attack, you'll need me. _He _won't have your back." He gave Spiderpaw another glare.

Fireblaze seemed irritated. "Spiderpaw did just fine in the skirmish. He's just as capable as you, and we've talked about this."

Redpaw looked about to speak up again, but the ginger warrior quelled him with a glare. "I mean it, Redpaw. You're not going to be rude to him, understand?"

The fire-furred apprentice's ears flattened, and he gave a meek nod. Fireblaze paused for a moment, before rolling his eyes. "I _guess _you can come with us…but you've got to behave. No fighting with Spiderpaw, and I'm not going to let you catch a nap. You're going to help us fish, and maybe even learn a thing or two. Got it?"

Redpaw beamed like an over-excited kit, and bounced on his paws. "Got it!"

For a moment, he reminded Spiderpaw of Bluepaw. He had never seen the similarity before, but they both burned with the same overflowing energy, although Bluepaw channeled hers more positively, most of the time. And Redpaw was obviously loyal to the Clan, no matter how he acted towards Spiderpaw.

"You guys cool with that?" Fireblaze asked, and Spiderpaw was surprised to find that he was referring to him as well as Leopardpaw. Leopardpaw gave a cool nod, although she eyed Redpaw with dislike, and after a moment of hesitation, Spiderpaw nodded as well.

Fireblaze didn't waste another moment. He leaped out of the camp entrance, and the other three cats followed, hurrying into the forest.

. . .

They settled on the bank a little bit downriver from the border, both to avoid unwanted attention from PeakClan, and also because the turbulent river quieted somewhat, as it widened. The wide flow meant that the river was less dangerous, but it also meant that the fish had more room to hide, so the fishers would have to be vigilant and take every opportunity to strike in order to bring home a sizable catch.

They settled themselves on the bank about two tail-lengths apart from one another to make sure they had plenty of room. Spiderpaw leaned over the water, remembering Petalcloud's past lessons. He was careful to keep his shadow away from the fish as he reached out with one paw, hovering over them and waiting for the right moment to strike.

The perfect moment came and went several times; every time he struck, he came up with nothing but water. The others weren't fairing much better; Leopardpaw only had one fish, and Fireblaze had somehow mangled to mangle a catch so badly that he only ended up with the tail of one fish - the rest of it had floated away out of his reach, whisked away by the current before he could grab it.

Redpaw wasn't having any luck either, and Spiderpaw almost considered starting up a conversation with him, before deciding against it. He wasn't willing to offer the ginger apprentice an olive branch, at least not with his tail still smarting from earlier that morning.

After yet another bungled catch, he finally gave up. "I'm not having any luck, so I'm going to see if I can find something in the forest, okay?"

Leopardpaw, who was sitting on his left, gave him an absent-minded nod; she was completely focused on the fish. Spiderpaw rolled his eyes, and trotted up the riverbank, pausing to rub off the mud that had collected on his paws onto some ferns, before continuing on his way.

_The Black Stream would have been a better fishing spot, but of course it would be too dangerous to venture over there now, with the Twolegplace rogues waiting to ambush us, _he mused. _They're only going to make things harder for us, I guess…hunting will be even more difficult if we have to look over our shoulder once for every step we take._

He lifted his head, opening his mouth to scent the air, and his eyes gleamed as he caught the scent of a water vole. He fell into a hunting crouch, creeping up on the unsuspecting prey. He could hear it rustling in the undergrowth, but couldn't see it yet. He paused, trying to gauge the distance by sound, only to stiffen as he heard larger paws approaching. He sat up, fur bristling, only to blink as he realized that it was Redpaw.

"Give up on fishing too?" he asked, although he could already tell from the ginger tom's expression that he had something else in mind.

"No." Redpaw spat out the word, his amber eyes narrowed, and Spiderpaw discreetly opened his mouth again just barely, to try and scent the air. Fireblaze and Leopardpaw hadn't followed Redpaw. Spiderpaw was alone with him.

"So what do you want?" he asked, careful to keep his voice neutral, not wanting to antagonize him further.

"Fireblaze didn't want me to come," the ginger apprentice meowed. "He didn't even ask me. But he asked _you."_

"Leopardpaw did, technically, but whatever. You were on the dawn patrol; Fireblaze figured you would be tired. That's all."

Redpaw began to pace, his tail lashing with agitation. "He never has time for me now. He's always worried about something, or hanging out with Leopardpaw. When I try to talk to him, he just blows me off. And when I talk to _you, _the cat he hated more than anyone else in the Clan just a few weeks ago, he gets mad at _me? _That's not cool. It's not right. It's not how things are supposed to _be. _He's supposed to be my friend. I'm supposed to have his back, and he's supposed to have mine, and he's supposed to teach me stuff, and train with me…but he doesn't do that now. He's always busy. And it's your fault!"

Spiderpaw kept his face emotionless. "My fault? The whole Clan is under pressure, Redpaw. We have the sickness, the rogues, and PeakClan to worry about. He's a warrior; all of this falls on his shoulders more than ours. And you know how he is…he wants to protect everyone that he cares about. He's just too busy to play games with you, when he has bigger things to worry about."

Too late, he realized he shouldn't have called Fireblaze's interactions with the young tom 'games.' Redpaw's eyes sparked with anger, and he took an aggressive step towards the black toms.

"They're not just stupid games!" he snarled. "He's teaching me to be a strong warrior, so that I can beat anyone who tries to hurt the Clan, and be a hero! He's looking out for me, because no one else will!"

"Your mentor-" Spiderpaw began, but Redpaw cut him off with a laugh.

"Forestheart's too busy with Silverstar to even spare me a glance," he spat. "I can't remember the last time we even trained together. Fireblaze is the only one who takes me out to train. He's the only one who cares…and now, he doesn't even do that! He'd rather have you with him, even though you're just tiny, spineless, and pathetic…you couldn't protect him in the battle with the rogues. You didn't have his back. I would have! You don't deserve to be his friend, and I'm not going to let you."

Redpaw sprang at him, but Spiderpaw was ready. He flattened himself to the ground, sending the ginger apprentice soaring over him.

"I don't want to fight you, believe it or not," Spiderpaw hissed. "The last thing the Clan needs is-"

Redpaw had bounced back quicker than he had expected, and managed to claw his muzzle before Spiderpaw could get away. The blow stung, and he felt hot blood well up. His eyes narrowed as he realized that Redpaw wasn't playing around, and wasn't trying to just intimidate him. The ginger apprentice was out for blood.

_He wants to play it this way? Fine by me. I've been waiting for this for a long time._

Redpaw was lunging at him again, so Spiderpaw dodged to the side, reaching out with one paw to rake his claws down Redpaw's flank. The ginger tom turned, spitting at him, and Spiderpaw took a step back before he could attempt a counterstrike.

His slash to Redpaw's side had managed to pierce the skin in a few places; the wound was beginning to bleed, but it wasn't much. Spiderpaw knew he had to exhaust Redpaw to end the fight; he didn't want to permanently hurt the apprentice, not when the Clan needed every available claw.

Redpaw threw himself at Spiderpaw again, and once more he is not able to dodge. The two of them roll over one another, hissing and clawing and tearing. Spiderpaw tried to get away, but Redpaw's grasp seemed unbreakable no matter how much he struggled.

All of Redpaw's weight was on his chest as the ginger tom finally pinned him down with his forepaws. Spiderpaw wheezed for breath, kicking up at the apprentice, but couldn't manage the strength to do more than wind him. Redpaw clung on tenuously, his claws sinking through Spiderpaw's sleek fur into his flesh.

Spiderpaw reached up with his long paws, slashing at Redpaw's chest, barely missing his throat. Again, he knew he was holding back, still not wanting to badly wound the ginger tom, despite his anger.

"We'll see how much Fireblaze trusts you when you're crippled," Redpaw snarled, and he clamped his jaws down on Spiderpaw's leg. Instantly, Spiderpaw was ablaze with pain. He slashed at Redpaw with his remaining three paws, while trying to pull the fourth out of his grasp. Redpaw held on with as much strength and stubbornness of a badger, even as his own blood began to mat his fur. He began twisting his jaws, taking Spiderpaw's leg with them, and the black apprentice screeched with agony.

"Redpaw!"

Fireblaze's voice seemed to ring in Spiderpaw's ears, louder than he had ever heard it. Redpaw froze, but did not release Spiderpaw's leg, keeping the black apprentice in constant pain.

"Let go of him. Now!" Fireblaze snarled, his voice like a clap of thunder.

Redpaw let out a low growl. "No. I have to do this. If he's not around, things can be normal again."

"Redpaw, things will never be 'normal' again, unless you let him go right now!" Fireblaze declared. "He is your Clanmate. He's _our _Clanmate. Let him go."

"No, he's not," Redpaw insisted, twisting Spiderpaw's leg further. "He's weak. He's pathetic. He's a coward. He doesn't deserve to be your Clanmate!"

"He stood up for my sister, against me," Fireblaze growled, his amber eyes burning with shocking intensity. "He trained her for nights and nights to do what I couldn't: make her into a warrior. When he was captured by rogues, he didn't just sit around and wait to be rescued: he collected valuable information and forged a bond with a few of them, which has given us an edge. We would have died if Fern hadn't decided to help us, even if you were there. Spiderpaw is just as, if not more than, deserving to be my Clanmate as you are."

Redpaw let out a furious growl that seemed to come from deep within his throat. He released Spiderpaw's leg, turning to spit at Fireblaze. In the same moment, Fireblaze lunged forward like a ginger rocket, tackling Redpaw to the ground, just as Leopardpaw's face poked out from between the ferns.

Spiderpaw tried to get to his paws, gasping with pain as he attempted to put weight on his twisted paw. It didn't _look _damaged or misshapen, but just moving it sent burning agony racing through his thin body.

Fireblaze and Redpaw were tearing at one another, sounding like a pair of badgers. Spiderpaw's ears flattened, and he wanted to step in, but it was all he could do not to pass out from the pain.

Warm fur pressed against his side, and he found Leopardpaw propping him up. Her eyes were fixed on the two ginger toms, who seemed to be almost identical; they were moving too quickly for Spiderpaw to get a decent look at either of them, and if it hadn't been for Fireblaze's advantage in size, they would have been inseparable.

Redpaw suddenly let out a wheezing gasp as Fireblaze kicked into his stomach with all his might. The ginger apprentice went limp, and Fireblaze pinned him, panting with exertion. He glanced towards Spiderpaw to make sure he was alright, before letting out a quiet hiss.

"Redpaw, I am beyond disappointed in you," he said between pants. "I've tried to show you what being a warrior is about, but…it seems like I've shown you all the wrong things. If you can't see that Spiderpaw is a valuable ally, if you can't see that he's your _Clanmate, _then I can't train with you in good conscience."

Redpaw didn't say anything, only giving a few pained gasps for air. Fireblaze shook his head, and released the tabby tom.

"Go back to camp," he ordered. "When I come back, I expect to see you in the apprentice den, understand? I'll figure out how to deal with you later."

Redpaw's amber eyes glowered, but he didn't offer up any sort of protest. Instead, he slunk away in the direction of camp, his tail almost dragging the ground. Fireblaze watched him go; his amber eyes were dark, as the flame that had been within them burnt out, replaced by weariness and disappointment.

"You okay?" he asked Spiderpaw, although it was obvious that he was not. "Look, I'm sorry. Redpaw-"

"We don't have time for apologies," Leopardpaw snapped. "Spiderpaw needs to have his paw looked at, and you aren't looking so hot either."

Fireblaze seemed to be aware of his various wounds for the first time. He gazed at a particularly nasty bite on his shoulder with dull surprise. "Uh, yeah. You're right. Do you need help?"

Leopardpaw shook her head. "I've got him. Just hurry up."

Fireblaze nodded, and the three of them headed back to camp.

When they were nearly there, Fireblaze paused to scent the air. His eyes widened, and he let out a low growl. It took Spiderpaw's hazy mind a moment to realize that they had been following Redpaw's scent, thinking it would lead back to camp, but it had unexpectedly veered off.

"The little rat-tailed-" Fireblaze began, but again Leopardpaw cut him off.

"I'll go and look for him," she said. "Here." She passed Spiderpaw onto the ginger tom, before disappearing into the brush, following Redpaw's scent. Spiderpaw was taken aback, uncomfortable with being pressed against Fireblaze's ginger fur, but neither of them had time to bluster or act manly. Spiderpaw's head was swimming with pain, and it was obvious that Fireblaze would need tending to as well.

He didn't remember the stumbling trek back to camp. He was pretty sure that he was fading in and out of consciousness, but his life was reduced to a blur of dried leaves and twisted roots as he and Fireblaze limped along together, until he was too tired to even keep his eyes open.

After that, it was only sensations that he was aware of: being lifted into the camp's entrance by strong jaws; anxious voices over his head; firm - but gentle - paws touching over his wounds; the feeling of feather-soft fur against his paws, although he wasn't sure if it was real or if he had only dreamed it.

Finally, his thoughts dissolved into darkness.

. . .

"Fireblaze. Fireblaze. Fireblaze!"

A familiar voice stirred his tired mind, but it wasn't until he heard someone let out a grunt of pain that his eyes actually opened. For a moment, all he saw were two fuzzy shapes, one gold and one ginger. It took a moment of them to form into bodies that he was more familiar with: Leopardpaw and Fireblaze.

Fireblaze was on his side, his pelt patched with cobwebs. Leopardpaw was crouched over him, her green eyes glowing in the gloom.

_Nightfall? _Spiderpaw wondered hazily. _We're…in the nursery, aren't we? The ground is sadly…my leg. _He glanced down, and saw his paw was bound with cobwebs. He tried wiggling it, but the wave of pain that followed convinced him it was a bad idea.

He remembered Leopardpaw and Fireblaze after a moment, and glanced back to them, finding that he didn't even have the strength or willpower to lift his head.

"I'm awake," Fireblaze mumbled. "What are you…what's going on? Where's Redpaw?"

"I followed his scent as far as I could," Leopardpaw whispered, after glancing nervously over her shoulder. "He was heading straight to Twolegplace."

"You're…you're sure?"

"Of course. There's nowhere else he could be going…but why there? I don't understand."

"He was born there…him and Bluepaw," Fireblaze mumbled. "They were saved by Natasha and Mitch…their mother died alone, after kitting. Redpaw never had a family, aside from Bramblethorn…." He let out a wheezing breath. "He was looking for another role model in Chillpaw, when Chillpaw saved him, but he betrayed everyone…Redpaw was crushed. He was all alone, just a little broken kit, and I knew…how that felt. So I…."

"Spare me his entire life story, will you? You're exhausted, and I just want-"

Fireblaze kept going, as if he hadn't heard her. "So I took him in. Trained him. Taught him everything I could…tried to be a better hero, one that wouldn't let him down. But he learned all the wrong things, Lep. All the wrong things."

The ginger tom's eyes fluttered closed, but opened again as Leopardpaw jabbed his stomach with one claw.

"I don't care how many poppy seeds Shimmerfrost fed you, this is _important._ Redpaw's in Twolegplace. He doesn't know anything about it, he doesn't remember it at all, and he's all alone. He's not going to survive out there. You and I both know that." The dappled apprentice dug her claws into the ground. "He'll end up killed by some boss, or a random alley cat, or a monster or…it doesn't matter. Frankly, I couldn't care less about him, especially after the stunt he pulled today. But you care so…."

She let out a quiet breath, and looked over her shoulder again. "Listen. Fireblaze. I…I can go to Twolegplace."

Fireblaze opened his mouth to protest, but she flicked her tail over his nose. "_Listen. _I can go to Twolegplace, and no one will think twice. No one will stop me, or give me any trouble. I was born there, and trained…and that's all I'm going to say, because honestly you're only half-listening. How many poppy seeds did she give you, again?"

"I'm listening," Fireblaze murmured. "Twolegplace. Trained. Poppy seeds."

"Yeah, exactly," Leopardpaw said with a roll of her eyes. "Please, Fireblaze, try to focus. I can go to Twolegplace. I can make sure no one hurts him. I can bring Redpaw _back. _But the Clan will have questions, and Redpaw will too, and I honestly don't have any good answers for some of them, so I'm…I'm asking you…." She paused, and swallowed, as if she was summoning up her courage. "I'm asking you, as a Clanmate, if you want me to. Because if you want me to go and get him, I will. Okay?"

Fireblaze's head gave a feeble twitch, and Leopardpaw leaned in closer, as if he was whispering something. He twitched again, and Spiderpaw heard him say,

"No."

Leopardpaw blinked. "Are you sure? I don't know how lucid you are right now, so you-"

"No," Fireblaze said again. "Too dangerous. He won't want to come back…not with you. He needs time to…figure things out. Find his place. And if something happened to you…my fault…."

He mumbled something inaudible to Spiderpaw, but Leopardpaw seemed to hear him quite clearly. Her ears flattened, and she closed her eyes. It puzzled the black apprentice, because despite his foggy mind he thought he was able to discern the smallest smile flickering on her muzzle.

"Okay, okay. I'll leave him alone," she promised. "You just rest up, alright? I'll come by again in the morning."

She rose to her paws, and Spiderpaw closed his eyes, not wanting her to notice that he had been spying. Only once her paw steps receded did he dare open his eyes again.

Fireblaze had already drifted off; he was snoring slightly, his cobweb-patched flanks rising slowly and evenly. Spiderpaw listened to the sound for a moment, staring out the nursery entrance and blinking at the bright moonlight streaming into the den. He tried making sense of what he had just heard - to arrange the facts as he usually did, and draw conclusions from them - but found that despite his best efforts, clarity was just beyond his reach, like the fish in the river. He had no stunning revelations in his grasp, no witty quips about what he had listened to, no idea how the pieces of the puzzle fit together. All he had was a sort of fuzzy grayness, hovering around the edges of his mind.

He finally gave up, exhausted, and allowed his eyes to close. Within moments, he too was asleep


	55. C h a p t e r 54

**C**_**hapter **_**54**

No matter how tightly she closed her eyes, or trying to think relaxing thoughts, she could not fall asleep. Thoughts raced about her mind in circles, but the most pressing one was always stationary, burning a hole into her consciousness: what was Blight's story?

Her stomach churned with worry as she remembered Chillpaw's warning. What could have possessed him to actually _warn _her of Blight? She thought she knew most of his story - he had broken a cat named Belladonna, and turned her into a monster called Nightshade - but if there was more to the tale, did she really want to know?

_He might be the hardest to redeem, _she thought, and dread settled in her belly like a stone.

Then, she felt something brush the edges of her mind, like a gentle tail flick. Her breath caught in her throat, as she imagined a dozen horrible scenarios, before forcing herself to exhale.

_Chillpaw? _she asked, and felt his icy touch brush over her thought.

_Yes, _he said, _it's me. You are not asleep._

_No, I'm not. Obviously._

_Are you frightened of something?_

She rolled her eyes. _Of course not. I'm only going to be meeting with a murderer who tortured at least one she-cat to the brink of insanity. What's there to be scared of?_

_Sarcasm does not become you, _Chillpaw replied. _But there's no reason to be scared._

_I suppose it _is_ only a dream, _she thought with a quiet sigh. _I know I'm being a coward._

_If you would like, I could stay. A little off to the side, so you will not be disturbed, but I can be there in case something goes wrong._

She was surprised by his offer, but just a little bit pleased. _Really? Are you sure you don't want to hang out by that pool of yours, maybe resurrect some other dead friends?_

_I do not have any dead friends, _he stated matter-of-factly. _My nights of skulking behind the scenes are over, though, I assure you. When I do go back to the pool, it will be with you._

_For your story, right? _she asked, feeling a mixture of anticipation and anxiety.

_Yes, _he replied, then paused. _I did not come to talk to you about that, though. I merely wished to offer you some relief, so that you would fall asleep more easily. Do you feel relieved._

_Not really, _she answered, then asked, _Do you promise you'll be there? Promise you'll be close, in case he does anything?_

_I promise._

She was surprised to find that she _did _feel the tiniest bit relieved as he spoke, and she sighed again, snuggling more closely against Bluepaw's flank. _Thank you._

_It is nothing. Sleep well, join us soon._

With that, he was gone; Sootpaw noted that this time, she was actually sure she could _feel _him leave; the closest thing she could liken it to was the sensation of a snowflake melting on her tongue. She smiled to herself, purring softly, and allowed herself to slip away.

_When she opened her eyes, she could already see Chillpaw's flickering shape through the mist. She yawned, and Moonpaw padded forward to touch Chillpaw before fading away. Sootpaw avoided looking at Blight for as long as she could, studying the forest scene that always appeared when Chillpaw was present._

_He grinned as their eyes met. "Evening, pet."_

_A shudder ran through her at the way his voice caressed the nickname, and she looked to Chillpaw, a silent plea._

_"I will be sitting in," the white tom said to Blight. "So tell your story, but do not push your boundaries, understand?"_

_"But of course," Blight said, as if he wanted nothing more than an apprentice listening to his conversation. "Just give us a little space, is all I ask."_

_Chillpaw dipped his head to the gray tom, before padding a few fox-lengths away, going to sit near the edge of the clearing. Sootpaw's stomach clenched, but she didn't object. Blight tilted his head to the side, watching her for a moment, before sitting down and wrapping his tail around his paws with a flourish. His grin stretched from ear to ear, like some sort of mad beast._

_"You have _no _idea how long I've waited for tonight, pet."_

_"Don't call me that," she growled, the fur around her shoulders ruffling. "I'm not your pet."_

_His eye darkened briefly. "You're right. You're not. Not exactly, anyway." He let out an amused purr, as if he had made some sort of joke. Sootpaw shifted her weight, trying to become comfortable, but his gaze made her pelt prickle uncomfortably, as if tiny spiders were biting through her fur._

_"Just tell me your story, so we can get this over with," she meowed, and he blinked._

_"Not going to try to learn more about me first? Ask me my favorite color, perhaps?" He laughed. "Not even going to meddle with trying to make me understandable, eh?"_

_"It wouldn't do me any good, I don't think," she replied. "I already know a lot about you."_

_"You know what you've heard trickled down from the higher-ups, you mean," he said, and rolled his eye. "History is written by the victors, you know. It's they who are vindicated, and the losers who are vilified."_

_"And exactly what did they vilify about you? Did you not really murder scores of cats, and drive others to madness? I suppose the stories about you killing an AshClan warrior by the name of Brightfire was just a myth, then?" Her voice was scathing, but it only seemed to amuse him further._

_"Fiery little thing, aren't you?" he asked. "I know exactly where you got that from, oh yes indeed. Funny, how some things run through the blood, isn't it?" His gaze lingered on her, before he gave an almost playful shrug. "Okay. We'll have it your way. I'll tell my story. Listen well, pet, because I doubt it will ever be recounted in full again, by me or any other cat."_

_He settled himself, and then tilted his muzzle towards the sky as he collected his thoughts._

_"Once upon a time," he began, "there were cats nestled in the mountains. They had not lived there for a terribly long time, no, only after their territory was devastated by a great disaster, but they had no wish to return to the forest. It was a burnt shell, a dead thing…and then new cats came, dangerous cats, cats with terrible ideals. They called themselves Clan cats, and they settled in the forest and took it over, ignoring the mountain cats. The mountain cats did not take kindly to that, and there was much tension…but eventually the leader of the mountain cats agreed to allow his own cats to become Clanners, for peace. And so FrozenClan was born._

_"And in FrozenClan, one of the early litters, but not the first, a tiny kit was born. He was a pathetic thing - the runt, if you will - and was not expected to survive for very long. His mother named him Ratkit - because he was trash, you understand, basically worthless in a society that prized physical strength over everything else - and waited for him to die._

_"But he did not. He grew and grew, and learned and learned. He became larger than anyone expected, but he was still not the strongest in the Clan,or the swiftest, and so he was looked down upon. Even after earning his warrior name - Ratwhisker - he was still not one of the Clan's golden boys. Oh, no, that title belonged to someone else: an older tom by the name of Northwind, a cat who was quickly rising to stardom." Blight let out a bitter chuckle._

_"Ratwhisker wanted to be appreciated more than anything, to be known, to be_ feared. _But there were precious few opportunities to prove himself…and then Frozenstar unleashed his war." Blight laughed again. "Oh, it was a bloody affair, pet. I'm sure you've heard all about it from your parents already, so I will be brief. Frozenstar was mad, to put it bluntly, and he did not care what happened to his Clan. But Northwind did, and thus he arranged for his father's death several times over, and seized power for himself. He took the name of Northstar, and he _crushed _the forest cats._

_"MarshClan was the first to fall, crumpling like a sodden leaf, but that made the other two Clans weary. He set his sights on ShellClan next, anticipating that their pride would be difficult to tackle. Ratwhisker knew this too, and so he began making his own plans._

_"ShellClan's leader fell ill, which left their deputy in charge. He was a brash young tom named Grayhawk. Ratwhisker had spoken to him a few times, and knew him well enough to make a plan. He presented this plan to Northstar; at first Northstar was dismissive, but after a few of his skirmishes against ShellClan fell, he was more…receptive. And so the plan was put into motion._

_"A FrozenClan patrol - made up of all the MarshClan warriors that had defected in exchange for their lives, as well - attacked ShellClan's camp. During the fray, Ratwhisker found Grayhawk's apprentice, a cute little thing named Dapplepaw. And he took her, and fled into the caves that ran alongside the coast of ShellClan's territory. And Grayhawk gave chase, just as Ratwhisker knew he would._

_"You see, pet, with the ocean there are things called _tides. _Tides cause the water to flow in and out at certain times, meaning that sometimes certain caves are accessible, and sometimes they are not. Northstar timed his attack so that the tide would be just beginning to ride when Ratwhisker took Dapplepaw into the caves with him. _

_"Ratwhisker led Grayhawk on a merry chase, until Grayhawk found himself in one of the caves farthest from camp. In this cave, there was only one exit for a cat of his size, but plenty of room for water to rise. Ratwhisker killed Dapplepaw there, and made a lovely scene with her blood. Grayhawk was too enraged when he scented blood to think clearly, and so he blundered right into that cave, not knowing that it would be his prison. He raced to his apprentice's body, not knowing that Ratwhisker had already slipped past him, towards the exit. By the time he heard the other warriors that had been lying in wait moving the boulder to block his escape, it was too late._

_"The tides came in, as they are wont to do, and Grayhawk drowned, thereby ending any chance that ShellClan had of winning their war. ShellClan fell, and more cats defected to Northstar. And Northstar was proud. And Ratwhisker was lauded - no, _revered _- for his part in the victory. And, wouldn't you know it, but he began moving up the ranks." He twitched his claws in the air, simulating a cat walking._

_"Unfortunately, he had an insatiable desire for more. Now, Frozenstar hated she-cats. The reasons behind this differ depending on who you ask, but the hatred itself was a constant. And so he developed this method of breaking them, of forcing them to submit. Sadly, he died before he could experiment on his own, but others caught wind of his idea. Crowtalon shared it with Ratwhisker, and he pursued it._

_"His first was some rogue she-cat that wandered onto our territory. The second was a ShellClan she-cat that no one would miss. They were failures, but they were also learning experiences for me…and fun diversions." He smiled at the memory. "There are just so many ways to make a she-cat scream, pet, and each one is more fun than the last. It's such a pity that we actually need Nettlefrost, don't you think? Such a pretty face on her."_

_Sootpaw was struggling to conceal her revulsion. "Just get back to the story."_

_Blight's muzzle curled into an amused smile. "Am I inconveniencing you? Terribly sorry. I didn't realize you had more pressing matters to deal with than the dead cats you're attempting to resurrect."_

_"Blight." Chillpaw's voice was sharp, and it was clear from the surprise that flickered in the gray tom's eye that he had forgotten Chillpaw was present, as had Sootpaw. "Get on with it. There's no need to draw this out more than you already have."_

_"Since when did being dead mean that we couldn't have any fun?" Blight asked, before chuckling. "As you wish, though. Let's see, now, where was I?_

_"Crowtalon eventually made his move on Northstar, and chased him out. He changed his name to Slaughter, and selected a few warriors for his inner circle. They were renamed as well. Ratwhisker's name became Blight, a name of power, that commanded fear and respect. His prestige grew, and a certain she-cat took a shine to him. Her name was Toxin, and she was Crowtalon's daughter. She admired him for his cunning and strength, and planned to have his kits, ensuring that FrozenClan - renamed TalonClan - would have a new generation of powerful, ruthless warriors." His single eye gleamed like a burning sun, before dulling as he frowned._

_"Unfortunately, it was not to be. Blight was sent on a patrol to the west, along with two other toms. He wasn't anticipating any fun on his journey, but he was mistaken. On their way, they stumbled upon a pair of she-cats: Robin and…Belladonna." There was a gentle reverence to his voice as he spoke the latter's name; he almost seemed to caress it, and Sootpaw fought hard to repress a shudder. _

_"You murdered your allies and brainwashed Belladonna. I know that much," she said, hoping to avoid the topic. Blight's tail was twitching from side to side, and he didn't seem to have heard her._

_"Oh, it was a beautiful thing," he murmured. "I had complete control over her, for days on end. At first she was a fiery little thing; she tried fight back, but of course it did her no good. And eventually she broke - oh, she broke so _perfectly _- and allowed me to mold her into whatever I wanted. And I made her into my Nightshade." He didn't seem to notice that he had abandoned his previous method of storytelling; his single eye seemed cloudy, and he was clearly lost in the mists of his memory. There was a deep purr of pleasure rumbling in his throat, and it made Sootpaw's stomach churn._

_"Blight!" Chillpaw snapped. "We do not have time for this. I don't want to split this up like we had to with Brightstar. Unless you want your memories being shown through the pool, I suggest you hurry."_

_The gray tom snapped out of his reverie, and frowned at Chillpaw. "Oh, relax. We've plenty of time before the sun rises. No need to get your tail in a knot." His eye narrowed. "You usually have a stronger hold on this sort of thing, don't you? You've been awfully…emotional lately."_

_Chillpaw's icy eyes betrayed nothing. "Finish the story."_

_Blight gave an easy shrug. "All in good time. Now…Nightshade." He rasped his tongue over his muzzle, as if savoring her name. "She was perfect. She was my greatest success. She was my legacy."_

_"But she wasn't perfect, was she?" Sootpaw couldn't help but ask. "She wasn't always controllable. She lashed out, hurt others that you didn't want her to attack. She ruined your chances with Tremor's band."_

_Blight flicked his tail dismissively. "She had a few kinks, sure. But, ultimately, she never upset my plans. Tremor's band was unimportant in the scheme of things, and she always held true to me. The only thing that truly made me angry was when she sprung Minnow…but as it turns out, so much would not have been possible without her." His eye lingered on Sootpaw for a moment, and she blinked back at him uncertainly._

_"Because she saved your kits, you mean," she said carefully, and Blight grinned._

_"So you do have a brain," he purred. "I was beginning to worry. Yes, Minnow saved my kits. Of course, she didn't think of them as mine. She only wanted to think of Belladonna, but my blood runs through them just as thickly as hers. Anyway." He flicked his tail again. "I suppose Chillpaw wants me to wrap up the story of my life, so I'll summarize. Nightshade and I joined up with Maggot, came back to the mountains, and found Lion. We pledged our allegiance to him, and he dealt with Lion. Lion decided to split his forces when he attacked AshClan and the others; I led one half. Eaglestrike was leading a faction of warriors, and we crossed claws. It was a brilliant battle. Nightshade and I were a seamless team." His eyes gleamed again. "We bathed our claws in the blood of those stupid Clan cats, tore through their ranks like cobwebs. I've never felt more alive, and I'm certain she felt the same._

_"And then…there was that tom she once knew. Bramblethorn." His eye narrowed. "I hadn't expected her to make contact with her past. It unsettled her, froze her up. I did my best to chase him off, but he had fallen for her as thoroughly as I had, and wasn't going to lose her again. We found, and due to a tiny distraction, I was killed. And I ended up here."_

_Sootpaw rose as if to go, but Blight laughed._

_"Sit down. Relax a bit longer, won't you?"_

_She blinked at him, puzzled. "You died. You obviously don't feel any remorse for what you did, and I don't really want to talk to you any further."_

_"But the story isn't over, pet," he purred. "Death couldn't hope to stop me."_

_A sense of foreboding washed over her, and she looked to Chillpaw, hoping that he would release her. She was frightened to see how blank his expression was, how carefully neutral his icy eyes remained._

He knows, _she thought, her breath catching in her throat. _He knows what Blight is about to say. What didn't he tell me?

_She sat down again, swallowing her fear. "I'm listening."_

_"Such spunk. I knew it was in there somewhere." He flicked his tail underneath her chin, trying to force her to meet his eyes, but she jerked away._

_"Just talk," she ordered, and his grin widened._

_"Well, like I said, I wasn't going to let death stand in my way. I was here, after all, and the border between here and life is noticeably slim if you know where to look. It's possible to watch those still living. So I cast my eyes downward, just in time to watch my Nightshade breathe her last. That fool that loved her wasn't there to save her, anymore than I was." His lip curled._

_"I waited for her to join me - I had told her about StarClan, after all, and she definitely went against their teachings - but she never did. So I roamed about for a bit, searching for her. Eventually I concluded that, for some reason, she had never arrived in the Dark Forest. The only thing that made sense to me was that she'd somehow managed to get into StarClan…but to do so, she would have had to prove herself in her final moments, somehow._

_"I'm sure Chillpaw's already told you that we Dark Forest cats have a knack for delving into the past. It's our specialty. It does take a bit of time to learn how, but once I got the hang of it, I looked back into Nightshade's past, trying to see where she had gone wrong. But I overshot things a bit, and ended up seeing her kit." His eye misted over again. "It was obvious she was half insane at that point. She barely lingered with them before charging off to sacrifice herself and save Silverstar. She left her three kits alone._

_"But she did something else, before she died. She told Minnow where they were, and she told her to save them. And Minnow, despite knowing that they were mine, despite knowing they harbored all the evil that she believed I possessed, took them in." He paused for a moment, his eyes resting on Sootpaw once more. "Do you know what happened to them?"_

_"She took them to Tremor," Sootpaw answered. "She named them Sage and Swift, and raised them as her own."_

_"But there was a third kit," Blight said. "What happened to it?"_

_"I don't know," she said. "I don't think Sage or Swift know, either. Minnow probably had to leave it behind. She couldn't have brought three kits with her, not by herself."_

_"But what happened to it, then?" Blight pressed. "Do you think she would have left it to die?"_

_Sootpaw's ears flattened. "I have no idea. I don't really know her."_

_An unsettling grin crept over the gray tabby's face. "Then I will tell you. Minnow went to look for Nightshade's kits, and she found them. There were three of them, all nestled together. Two with gray fur, one with white. As you said, she knew she couldn't take them all. She knew she'd have to leave one behind, and take the two strongest kits with her, as they'd have the best chance of survival. But she couldn't leave the last kit all alone in the forest. So she picked up that third unlucky kit, and took off. She weaved her way through the battling cats, hurried up all the way up the Peak. As it happened, a she-cat was beginning to kit. PeakClan's medicine cat didn't know what to do, but he didn't want the apprentices nearby, so he was pushing them into the medicine den, with the help of a she-cat named Rosedapple, who was a queen, as well as the AshClan queens. They were all in the medicine den when the rogue entered camp, the kit in her jaws. She was following the scent of Rumble, you see. She knew he was the only one that could help her._

_"She entered the nursery, for Rumble was helping the kitting she-cat. She begged him to take the kit from her, telling him it would die otherwise. He was hesitant, but in the end he accepted it, as did his apprentice, little Shimmerpaw._

_"Unfortunately, the she-cat had blacked out, due to the stress of her kitting. She had born one kit, but the other was stillborn. And so the medicine cats agreed to take the kit, and give it to the kitting queen, swearing that they would never tell her, that she would never know. After all, the kit looked similar enough to the she-cat's mate to pass as his. There would never be any suspicion. So they nestled the kit against her belly, and when she awoke, Rumble and Shimmerpaw told her that she had given birth to a stillborn kit, but had also had another, a little she-cat._

_"By that time, the rogue was gone, and no one was the wiser."_

_The realization was burning in the back of Sootpaw's mind, but she couldn't quite reach it, couldn't accept it. "That queen…that kit…."_

_"That queen was Ravenwing," he said, the smile on his face growing even wider, "and that kit was you."_

_She was choking, then, her throat closing with revulsion. She coughed, trying to catch her breath, but her legs were trembling. Blight watched her with curiosity, but made no move to help; it was Chillpaw who rushed to her side, pressing his pelt against hers._

_"Breathe, Sootpaw," he urged. "Take in one deep breath with me, now, come on." He inhaled, and she did her best to copy him, but faltered. She felt as though she was splintered into a thousand pieces. Dimly, she was aware that Blight was still speaking._

_"Don't take it so badly, pet. It's a compliment, really. You're of fine stock, finer than you thought. Eaglestrike's a buffoon,and Ravenwing is no more than a dithering-"_

_"Shut up!" Sootpaw snarled, and Blight was actually rendered speechless as she glared up at him, every hair on her pelt standing straight up._

_"Shut up," she snarled again. "You're wrong. You're _wrong. _You aren't…you can't be…."_

_She fought for breath again, and suddenly it was like the clearing was closing in on her. Blight and Chillpaw were both close, too close, and she took a step back, her breath coming in sharp pants. Without a word, she fled, racing into the forest as quickly as she could._

_She trampled the ferns and brush underfoot. She ignored the brambles tearing through her fur and the branches scraping her muzzle. She leaped over a fallen log almost mechanically, trying not to think of anything but running. If she only kept going, if she only put more and more distance between herself and _them, _then maybe it wouldn't be true, maybe it would just turn out to be a silly nightmare. Maybe she wouldn't be the daughter of a monster._

_And then, she stumbled over an unseen root, and before she could recover, she was falling, sprawling on the hard ground. Dirt filled her nose and mouth, and she coughed, wheezing for breath._

_It was all so clear now. How could she have been so blind? There had been hints surrounding her for so long, as far back as she could remember._

_Bramblethorn had known. That much was obvious. That was why he had come to visit the nursery so often; it wasn't for Bluepaw and Redpaw, although she was certain he had cared for them. It had been for _her, _because she was the last remnant of the cat he had loved. She was all he had to cling to._

_Minnow had recognized her. That's why she had acted so strangely, and why she had wanted to speak to Sootpaw further. She knew Sootpaw was the kit she had given up, to save Swift and Sage._

And Chillpaw knew, _she realized, and her heart splintered just a little bit more. _He was dropping hints all this time…like when he said StarClan had once believed my mother would be a medicine cat. He didn't mention Ravenwing, _I _did. And when he said I had inherited a self-destructive streak…and a thousand other things, I'm sure. He _knew. _He knew all this time, and didn't tell me…did they all know? Did Swiftshade? They must have. Oh, StarClan, how could I have been so stupid?

_She pressed her nose into her paws, tremors running through her like waves. All this time, she thought she had to live up to the legacy of Eaglestrike and Ravenwing, but in reality there had been a much darker cloud hanging over her head._

That's why he was able to speak to me. Chillpaw told me as much, didn't he? He inherited his father's power, to contact those that shared his blood…but his was stronger. He could use others to contact _their _kin. That's why Blight's so important here. That's why he acts as a stone to weigh Chillpaw down, to tie him back to the Dark Forest when he walks in my dreams. He's been using my connection to Blight all along.

_A wave of nausea rolled over her, and she feared that she might be sick. She tried to blot out her thoughts, tried to imagine the faces of her family - or the cats that she had always thought to be her family - but all she could see was Blight's single, manic eye._

_"Sootpaw?"_

_She was on her paws immediately, fur bristling. Chillpaw stood before her, watching her with the same caution he might show towards a badger, or rabid fox._

_"Go away," she hissed, but he took a step towards her._

_"Sootpaw, please-"_

_"You _knew!_" she snarled. "You knew all along, and you never told me. How could you keep that a secret from me, Chillpaw? How? I thought you…you, of all cats…." Her legs were threatening to collapse beneath her again, but she continued to glare, not wanting to let him know how damaged she was inside._

_"Would you have believed me?" he asked. She bared her fangs at him, but he didn't flinch. _

_"Please, Sootpaw, just look at me." His voice was soft, but crackling with intensity as his blue eyes bored into her. "Would you ever have believed me if I told you that you were Blight's daughter?"_

_"No," she said, and some of her anger waned. "No, I wouldn't have. I still don't. It can't be true, it can't._ _I can't be a part of him. I can't have his blood running through my veins, Chillpaw, I _can't."

_"You need proof," he said, and she thought he relaxed just slightly. Proof was something that he understood, that he could provide. "I can give you that."_

_She only stared at him for a long moment. She wanted to say no, to turn away and stalk further into the forest without him, to just leave this all behind, but she had to know. She had to see it with her own eyes._

_"Okay," she whispered, and when Chillpaw flicked his tail and began to walk, she followed._

_They weaved through the trees until the pool came before them, as still as glass. Chillpaw sat down, reaching out with one paw._

_"It's not a memory," he said, as an image began to form, "it's the past. So it will be rendered perfectly, as perfectly as anything can be." He looked to her, his icy eyes seeming almost gentle. "Are you ready?"_

_She took a deep breath, steeling herself, and nodded. She peered down at the pool, leaning forward._

_Her eyes widened as she saw Nightshade for the first time. Her eyes flicked over the dappled she-cat, taking in her bloody fur and mask of pain. The she-cat's eyes were blazing with madness, but her expression was strangely gentle as she stared down at her stomach. It only took Sootpaw a moment to see why: curled up in the dry leaves were three tiny, perfect kits. Her eyes flicked over them, taking them all in. She looked to Swift first, noting Blight's gray fur, then Sage, his familiar white pelt slick with his mother's blood. And then, finally-_

_She closed her eyes, the third kit burning in her mind. _

It could be any kit, _she told herself. _Just because it's gray and dappled doesn't mean anything.

_But she had seen its paws. She had seen how one forepaw was dark gray, and the other glistened pure, bright white._

_"One paw in StarClan," Chillpaw murmured. "Isn't that what your mother said? But didn't you ever wonder about the other paw, the darker one? Didn't you ever wonder if that meant something too?"_

_She forced herself to open her eyes, and saw that Nightshade was already gone. She had left her kits behind like they were nothing, racing off to die._

_Things sped up, until a silver she-cat padded into the ferns, her eyes widening as she saw the three kits. She immediately curled around them, murmuring condolences to the three mewling bundles of fur, trying to comfort them. Her green eyes were unmistakable. _Minnow.

_Minnow remained with the kits for a few moments, before rising to her paws. She looked over all three of them, seeming torn, before grabbing the dappled kit - tiny Sootkit - in her jaws. The image started to change as Minnow began racing in the direction of the Peak, but Sootpaw looked away._

_"Okay," she said, her voice barely audible. "Okay. I believe you."_

_Chillpaw lifted his paw, and the images faded. "Sootpaw."_

_Disgust crashed over her again, and she closed her eyes, squeezing them tightly. "I'm a monster."_

_"Sootpaw."_

_She could barely hear him over the beating of her heart, the blood pounding in her ears. "I'm the daughter of a monster. No, two monsters. Even if Nightshade…Belladonna…whatever managed to get into StarClan, she still murdered who knows how many cats. She was insane. They both had so much blood on their claws…oh, StarClan."_

_She rose to her paws, and began to back away from him, trying to somehow retreat into herself, to hide from the self-loathing that threatened to consume her. "I'm a monster," she said again, and then again and again, repeating it until it became a mantra, until the words seemed to fuse with her heartbeat. Mon-ster. Mon-ster. Mon-ster._

_"Sootpaw!"_

_Chillpaw's voice shattered her thoughts for a brief moment, and she looked to him again. She was surprised to find something akin to pity within his sapphire eyes, but something else, too: pain._

_"You're not a monster," he meowed. "Don't ever say that about yourself. You are the kindest cat I have ever met. You are generous, forgiving, gentle. Why should that change, just because your parents are different than who you thought they were?"_

_"You don't understand," she whimpered. "You can't."_

_"Being a monster has nothing to do with your blood," Chillpaw said, and his voice seemed to be edged with thorns. "My parents were good cats. My father was brave, even noble. My mother was loving, when she was lucid. And yet I…I turned out quite differently. If my parents controlled who I became, I would be very different. You have Blight's blood running through your veins, yes. But so does Sage, and Swift. Can you honestly tell me that they are evil? Contemptible? Monsters? When was the last time they hurt anyone? When was the last time _you _did?"_

_She could only stare at him, any words escaping her. He took a step towards her, reaching out gently to brush her flank with his tail. She flinched away from him, but he only did it again. The second time, she did not pull away._

_"There is nothing wrong with you." Chillpaw's voice rang with certainty. "You are not any different than you were last night. You are the same cat. You just know more now, that's all. I told you before…this can't change you, not unless you allow it to. You are every bit the hero you claim you are not, and I will stand by that until the end of days."_

_"How can I ever go back?" Her voice was strangled by the lump building in her throat. "How can I face Eaglestrike and Ravenwing and Spiderpaw and everyone else, knowing what I do?"_

_His eyes darkened for a moment, like a cloud passing over the sun. "Face that when it happens. But if you tell them, I think they will love you all the same. Blight isn't your family. Your family comes from the cats that raised you, the ones that loved you, that looked after you. Ashstir was my father, but he was never my family. My mother wasn't either, really. Lion was my family, and I am what I am because of him. You are what you are because of yours. Your family loves you, and I can safely say that Blight does not feel the same."_

_She looked into his blue eyes, and found herself believing him. It wasn't enough - she wasn't sure if anything would ever be enough - but it was a start._

_"Thank you," she said, and before she quite knew what she was doing, she was pressing her face against his neck, trying to burn away her troubles with his warmth. Chillpaw went rigid underneath her touch, but after a moment, he gently tucked her head underneath his jaw. She forced herself to let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, and for a moment she was able to pretend that she was the daughter of AshClan's deputy and the kindest she-cat she had ever known again._

_She wasn't sure how long the two of them stayed like that, until Chillpaw carefully drew away._

_"Do you feel better?" he asked, seeming a bit awkward. She flushed underneath her fur, knowing how uncomfortable he must have been, for someone so unaccustomed to emotions._

_"A bit," she admitted. "I'll probably need a few days to really…understand everything. It will take time. It's easy to say that knowing doesn't change who I am, but I'm not sure if that's actually true…we'll just have to see."_

_"I'll leave you alone until you can cope," he promised, but she immediately shook her head._

_"Please don't," she pleaded. "You're the only one I can talk to about this. I can't tell anyone else, not yet."_

_"Not even Sage?" he asked. "You and he are connected now, you know."_

_"I know," she mewed, "but I'm…I'm just not ready. Maybe once I wrap my head around it a little bit more."_

_"I understand," he said, and she almost wanted to laugh; how could he, of all cats, possibly understand?_

_He seemed to realize the irony, for his muzzle curled into a bitter smile. "You should have a better confidante than me."_

_"Maybe," she replied, "but I guess I'll just have to settle." She found herself smiling as well, and she reached out to touch his nose with her own. "Thank you. I know…I know this isn't really you fault. I never would have believed you if you had been the one to tell me. I wouldn't have believed anyone, before tonight…." She shook her head. "You didn't have to come after me, though, or prove it. So thank you."_

_He seemed uncomfortable. "Think nothing of it. I was the only one that could fetch you, since I doubt you want to face Blight again."_

_She shuddered at the memory of his smug smile. "No. I really don't." She hesitated, then asked, "Why me? He had Swift and Sage to contact too. Why did he pick me?"_

_Chillpaw mulled over the matter for a moment. "Perhaps because Swift is far more timid than you, and because Sage would never agree to such a thing…not to mention that Sage would go to his 'Starwalkers' for advice. Besides, you and I were Clanmates, at one point. It was easier for you to trust me, rather than trying to convince Swift or Sage that I was not an enemy. Most of Tremor's cats know of me by now, I am sure, if only as Lion's son. They would have been just as wary. And…you were an easy target." His eyes lingered on her face for a moment. "You're hopeful, and you've always felt that you have much to live up to. Swift and Sage have to overshadow their father's crimes; they would never agree to help him. But you…you had a grand legacy to carry on, because you believed you were the daughter of Eaglestrike and Ravenwing. You felt the need to become a hero, to 'rescue' us from the darkness."_

_She nodded; it was about what she had expected. "Things would have been different, I guess. I might never have found out the truth, if I hadn't decided to join you all."_

_"Perhaps not."_

_She sighed and sat down, curling her tail around her paws. "I wish I had said no."_

_She could feel the surprise - and maybe a touch of hurt? - ripple through him, but his voice betrayed none of that. "I can understand why. The last few moons have been troubling for you…truth after truth to face. You've seen what some cats are capable of, our ability to wound and hurt without feeling remorse…the length we will go to in order to save ourselves, or protect what is ours…and our ability to keep secrets. I imagine it's hard to wake up and trust the cats around you, never knowing what they might truly be thinking, or planning."_

_She bowed her head. "Yeah. I could have gone my entire life without listening to how many cats Swiftshade killed, or what Shrew did to those kits to save himself…I would have been better off. But I guess I can't change that now. Whether I like it or not, I'm up to my neck in all of this now. I'm just as trapped in the darkness as you." A bitter chuckle tore itself from her throat._

_Chillpaw was quiet for a moment. "I wish I could help," he said finally. "I wish it did not have to be this way, but…we are selfish creatures, at our cores, and we will cling to whatever opportunities we have. I'm sorry."_

_"I know."_

_They sat there as the minutes ticked by; Sootpaw stared down at her paws - one light, one dark - and wondered how far away the dawn was, how soon she could escape this nightmare without having to stay awake for hours more._

_And then, something touched her head. She froze as the icy tingle ran through her, and blinked as the chill gave way. She reached up with one paw to touch her head, and her paw came away damp. She stared at it, only for her eyes to widen as a single snowflake touched her pink pad._

_Her eyes widened, and she tilted her head up to see that despite there being no clouds in the sky, snow was falling down. The sunlight lanced through each flake, making them glow like diamonds as they spiraled towards the ground. One landed on her nose, and she shivered, before looking to Chillpaw, feeling perplexed. He didn't meet her eyes for a moment, and when he finally did, he seemed almost hopeful._

_"What are you doing?" she asked, as another flake landed on her outstretched paw._

_"I was hoping to coax out a smile," he meowed. "A real one. The snow made you happy, before, so…." He shook his head, and with a twitch of his tail, the flakes disappeared. "It was foolish, I apologize."_

_Warmth kindled inside of her, and she flushed underneath her fur. "It was lovely, Chillpaw, really. I didn't mind it. I l-" She stopped as a single flake landed on her tongue, and saw Chillpaw's look of amusement. Her pelt tingled furiously as she gave him a smile, a real one, one that seemed to bubble up from inside of her. She pressed her pelt against his, resting her head just underneath his head as the two of them watched the snow fall._

**AN: HA. HA. HA**


	56. C h a p t e r 55

**C**_**hapter **_**55**

His eyes opened as soft paw steps brushed his ears, and found a dark shape blocking the sunlight flooding through the entrance of the nursery. It took a moment for his hazy vision to clear, but he recognized Blackfeather's scent immediately.

"Hey," she mewed, her voice as whisper-soft as ever. "How are you guys?"

Beside Spiderpaw, Fireblaze raised his head. In a voice thick with sleep, he growled, "I ache in places I wasn't even sure I had, but other than that, I'm fine. You?"

Blackfeather's whiskers twitched. "I'm not the one who was involved in yet another battle," she said, before looking to Spiderpaw. "How's your leg?"

He stared down at his cobweb-wrapped appendage, and tried to move it, only to grimace as the smallest twitch sent pain lancing up his entire leg. "I've been better."

Blackfeather's golden eyes softened. "I'm sorry. I wish you guys had taken me with you…maybe I could have helped."

"There was nothing you could have done," her brother rumbled. "Redpaw was out of control, and I didn't see the signs. None of us did, not even Leopardpaw, and she's good with that sort of stuff. Maybe he wouldn't have gotten Spiderpaw alone if you'd been with us, but other than that…."

Spiderpaw thought he detected the faintest amused gleam in Fireblaze's amber eyes, and his own widened as he remembered the conversation between the ginger warrior and dappled apprentice that he'd overheard. Parts of it were still hazy, but he was certain that Leopardpaw had offered to go into Twolegplace after the hot-tempered apprentice, even though she knew it would cast suspicion on her when she returned.

_But why would she do that? _Spiderpaw wondered. _It doesn't make sense…she's not the type that allows herself to get into that sort of trouble, and she's definitely not the selfless type. So why would she…._He closed his eyes, trying to remember more. _Oh. Clanmates. That's what she said, wasn't it? Something about Fireblaze being her Clanmate…because he saved her during the battle, and I helped. That really meant a lot to her, for some reason…I guess she thought she could trust the Twolegplace cats more than us, but things didn't turn out the way she expected._

Normally this would have made him suspicious, but he still felt incredibly weary, despite his earlier sleep. He yawned, and attempted to stretch without pulling his paw, but found the task to be too difficult and quickly gave up, only to find Blackfeather watching him with concern. She looked away, but couldn't hide the worry in her eyes.

"Jaggedclaw was asking about you," she said instead. "He wanted to make sure that you were okay."

"Am I?" Spiderpaw shot back. "I can't do anything now, with my leg like this, and I don't know how long it'll take to heal."

Her whiskers twitched. "Hmm, now who does that sound like?"

"What?"

Blackfeather tapped her chin with her tail, pretending to think. "Let's see…has trouble with his leg, likes to complain, enjoys grumbling about being useless…Stormshadow? No, that's not right. Hmm…."

Spiderpaw rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Where's Shimmerfrost?"

"I don't know," she answered with a shrug. "I can go get her for you guys, if you want."

"We'd appreciate it," Fireblaze said, and Blackfeather smiled before rising to her paws and trotting away. Spiderpaw watched her go, before realizing that Fireblaze's eyes were upon him. The fur around his shoulders ruffled underneath the older tom's scrutiny.

"Do you have a problem?" he snapped.

"Not right now," the ginger tom replied, "but it's only fair to warn you that my sister's quite fond of you…and I'd hate to see anything happen to that. She was beside herself the last time you two had a fight, and although that blew over quickly, if something more serious was to happen…well, if you thought having your moss stolen was bad, you haven't seen anything yet." Fireblaze gave him an almost cheery wink, before giving Shimmerfrost a nod as she entered the den. The medicine cat's presence stopped Spiderpaw from issuing any sort of retort, and he only blinked at the ginger tom for a moment, feeling a bit bewildered, before turning his attention to the silver tabby.

"Blackfeather tells me you two are getting a little restless," the medicine cat remarked in her usual disinterested tone.

"We're just wondering when we can get back into the action," Fireblaze answered, and Shimmerfrost snorted.

"I would have thought that you two had experienced enough 'action' recently to last you quite awhile. Hold still." She ran her paws over Fireblaze's wounds. "You need to rest for at least the rest of today, since some of the wounds on your stomach are deep. As for you…." She looked to Spiderpaw. "That leg will need a lot of rest as well. It's not too serious - not a sprain, or anything - but it could have been if he had managed to pull it a little further, so you need to be careful, got it? Take the next few days off. Do not leave camp under any circumstances, and it would be best if you stayed in here. Do either of you need poppy seeds?"

Fireblaze shook his head, and Spiderpaw did the same, remembering how foggy they had made him feel. Shimmerfrost left the den without another word, and Spiderpaw looked to the ginger tom again, wondering if he would say anything else about Blackfeather. He didn't, and for good reason, as the black she-cat reappeared seconds after Shimmerfrost left.

"That doesn't sound so bad," she said, "although I'm sure you'll both be stir-crazy in a few hours." She sat down, cocking her head to the side. "Are you guys hungry? I could get you something, maybe." She looked to Spiderpaw. "I'm sure Jaggedclaw would like to share something with you, to make sure you're okay."

Spiderpaw let out an irritated sigh. "Shimmerfrost says I shouldn't leave the den."

"I'll help," Blackfeather offered. "You can lean on me."

He squinted at her with suspicion. "Do you just want me out of the den, or what?"

Blackfeather blinked at him with innocence in her golden eyes, but he was fairly certain she was flushing underneath of her dark fur.

"Whatever," he growled. "Come over here, so I can at least lean on you."

Blackfeather padded to his side with her usual swift grace, and he heaved himself to his feet, holding his injured paw up to his chest as best he could. He leaned against her, resting his head against her shoulder, and the two of them worked their way towards the den entrance. Never had it seemed so treacherous or steep; hopping on three legs was difficult, as he discovered. But Blackfeather was patient, matching his sluggish pace with endless determination, until he was finally able to collapse into the entrance, panting from the exertion and ashamed of his weakness. Blackfeather gave him a quick smile and nuzzled his head between his ears, before trotting towards the fresh-kill pile, snapping up a squirrel and ducking into the nursery. Spiderpaw stared after her, mystified by her behavior, but he didn't have much time to ponder it. Jaggedclaw was limping towards him, his paw steps painfully heavy against the earth. A vole swung from his jaws, and Spiderpaw's mouth filled with water as the smell drifted to his nose.

Jaggedclaw collapsed in front of him with a grunt, dropping the vole.

"So, I heard you were worried," Spiderpaw said, allowing a teasing note to creep into his voice. The older tom only studied him with one tired eye, before glancing down to Spiderpaw's injured paw. "How does it feel?"

He winced. "Not too great. Shimmerfrost says I'll have to take some time off, but I can't…there's too much to do. I have Clanmates to hunt for, Blizzardpaw to train, patrols to go on…we've got the Twolegplace rogues floating around, and Redpaw's out there somewhere, probably up to his ears in trouble. For all we know, he might seek shelter with Maggot and give away our secrets."

"Do we really have any, at this point?" Jaggedclaw growled. "The marsh cats have been on and off our territory for some time now, probably watching us."

"They aren't sneaky about it, though, and neither are the Twolegplace cats," Spiderpaw said. "If they have been spying, they've done a terrible job."

"They managed to kill one warrior," Jaggedclaw retorted, his eye narrowed, "and they would have finished off your patrol, if it wasn't for Fern."

Spiderpaw's eyes widened - he thought Eaglestrike had intended to keep that a secret - but he frowned. "Did Blackfeather let something slip?"

"Perhaps. She's always worried about you." He studied Spiderpaw for a moment, before rolling the vole towards him. "Eat. You'll need your strength, if your paw is to heal."

"And you'll need yours, to fight off your cough," Spiderpaw shot back. "If you won't get treatment from Shimmerfrost, you should at least eat."

"How do you like only having three legs?" Jaggedclaw asked instead. "It is strange, not being able to move without help? Not being able to do anything to aid your Clan? Do you feel like a burden yet, because if not, you will soon. Have you started dreaming of being whole again, of walking through the forest without needing support, of running? Have you felt the flood of jealousy run over you as you see other toms moving around without any trouble, any pain?" His voice was growing steadily deeper, more dangerous. "Once you have experienced that, then we can talk, and you can try to convince me to eat. Not before."

"It's not like that now," Spiderpaw protested. "You can walk on your own. It takes time, sure, but it's possible. And maybe you could run, if-"

Jaggedclaw cut him off with a bitter chuckle. "I don't have time for fantasies, Spiderpaw. Running is something that will always be beyond me; you and I both know that, so don't patronize me with your kit's tales. I will never be what I was. I will never have my health. I will never be _whole_, and any efforts to the contrary are idiotic."

"You know Reedrush wouldn't agree. She'd want you to fight, to persevere."

"Reedrush does not understand," he replied. "She has never felt this way, and each night I pray that she will never have to. She cannot share my pain, she cannot experience it, and most importantly she is not _here. _She cannot advise me on what to do, and neither can you. Now, eat."

Spiderpaw stared him down, clenching his jaw stubbornly. "According to you, I'm useless right now. Why should I eat, if it means someone else might go hungry? I'll pass."

The older tom's tail lashed. "You'll recover."

"So will you," Spiderpaw snapped, "but you can't if you don't even try. All you have to do is hang on until the journeying cats come back. Then we can work together to make you strong again. I don't care how long it takes, I won't give up…and I won't let you, either. If you're not eating, then I'm not eating, and that's that." He met the scarred tom's single eye without flinching, despite the obvious irritation and growing anger that was present in his amber gaze.

Then, the tabby dipped his head down, and tore a bite off of the vole, jerking the body as his jaws tore flesh from bone. He swallowed, and then rolled the rest of the vole towards Spiderpaw, before rising to his feet with a low cough and turning away. Spiderpaw watched him go, waiting until the older tom disappeared into the elders den before he took his first bite.

. . .

It was some time later that Blackfeather finally emerged from the nursery, looking pleased. She paused as she realized Spiderpaw was watching her, unable to contain his curiosity.

"Was Fireblaze talking about me?" he demanded immediately. Blackfeather only laughed.

"Believe it or not, you aren't the only cat that he has to deal with on a daily basis," she purred, tweaking his nose.

"That doesn't answer my question," he pointed out, and she giggled.

"I know. But no, he didn't want to talk about you. I know this might come as a shock, but Fireblaze has _feelings, _and sometimes he just likes to have someone listen," she purred. "As it happens, I'm the best suited for that. Y'know, just in case you ever feel like talking about something other than yourself." Her golden eyes twinkled down at him, and despite his best effort, he couldn't summon up any irritation to direct towards her.

"Whatever," he grunted instead. "What are you going to do now?"

"Well, as much as I've love to sit here with you and listen to you gripe about your leg - which I'm sure you intend to do, if I sit down - I have to go on a hunting patrol," she replied with a grin. "Someone has to feed the Clan while you sit on your tail, after all."

"It's not like I want to just lie here," he protested, and she bent down to give his ear a quick lick.

"I know. But don't worry, it'll just be for a little while. I'll take care of Blizzardpaw until you're back on your feet, okay?" She glanced towards the camp entrance, where Frostfeather and Darkstorm were waiting. "Sorry, but I've got to go. I'll talk to you later!"

With that, she hurried away, and the three cats left camp. Spiderpaw sighed, resting his head on his paws. He'd been counting on Blackfeather to keep him occupied while he healed up; what was he supposed to do now?

When Leopardpaw approached the nursery, he was almost happy to see her. She noticed, for she paused near the entrance and stared at him for a long moment, as if trying to figure him out.

"Do you need something?" she growled.

"Coming to visit Fireblaze?" Spiderpaw asked, thinking again of their conversation the night before.

Her eyes narrowed. "What's it to you?"

He decided to go out on a limb. "I heard what you two were talking about before. Last night, I mean. About Redpaw."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Her face was carefully neutral, but he could see the gears working in her mind as she tried to figure out his angle, what he was after.

"You offered to go into Twolegplace for him, to find Redpaw and bring him back, even though you knew it would make you look suspicious," he said, and her ears flattened.

"What of it?" she challenged.

Spiderpaw shrugged. "I'm not saying that I think you're suspicious. I think it was brave of you to volunteer, when you know it could get you into trouble."

Leopardpaw's eyes were still cautious, but she didn't appear to be angry. "Is that so."

'You could thank me, you know. It was a compliment."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, yes. Thank you so much, Spiderpaw, for not being suspicious of me for no reason. Your opinion means the world to me."

Her voice was dripping with sarcasm, but he decided to take it for face value, knowing how much that would irritate her. He gave her a cheeky smile. "I'm glad I've had such an impact on you already, Leopardpaw."

"Already? I've been here for how long now?" she snorted. "It took you long enough…and personally, I'd say you've barely made an impression." Her green eyes glittered at him in what was almost a playful way, but she seemed to realize that she was coming dangerously close to being friendly, for she looked away.

"I've got to go," she growled, and ducked into the nursery. Spiderpaw's sharp green eyes traced her movements, but he didn't object as her dappled tail disappeared from view.

_Odd, _was all he could think. He yawned, resting his head on his paws. She and Fireblaze would probably have a lengthy chat, and he'd be stuck sitting on the outside, just waiting for them to finish so that he could return to his nest.

_Pathetic, _he grumbled to himself. _You're useless, sitting out here on your tail. It'll be days until you're ready to do anything more than limp around - probably with help._

Finally, he could understand Jaggedclaw's continued frustration and self-loathing, his feelings of being superfluous, a waste of space. It was hard enough just being helpless for a few hours; he couldn't imagine it stretching out day after day, with no clear end in sight, no reprieve.

_For a cat like him, it's beyond frustrating. He's completely ashamed. _Spiderpaw's eyes drifted towards the elders den, and he found himself struggling to rise to his paws. This time, there was no Blackfeather to support him, and once he did manage to get up on three legs, he promptly toppled over, jarring his injured paw.

He gritted his teeth and tried again, pushing past the pain. And, slowly but surely, he made his way towards the older tom's den. He stopped at the entrance, settling himself down with no small amount of effort or pain.

"Jaggedclaw?" he called, but received no answer from the darkness.

"Jaggedclaw?" he tried again, his ears lowering as he imagined a hundred things having gone wrong: Jaggedclaw had gotten his paws on poppy seeds; he had been starving himself even more in secret, and his single bite of vole hadn't been enough to save him; his old injuries had simply snuffed out his light. "Come on, please come out. I'm not here to bother you, or anything."

"What exactly are your intentions?" came a rumble from within the den. Spiderpaw felt a flutter of relief.

"I just wanted to talk, is all. I have a few questions."

Jaggedclaw's face emerged from the shadows, his amber eye dull. "Yes?"

"What do you do all day?" he blurted. Jaggedclaw only stared at him, and Spiderpaw said, "I'm going half mad just sitting here, and it's hardly been any time at all. It's barely sunhigh. What do you do to keep yourself amused, day in and day out? When you're not helping me with my mousebrainish tendencies or training me, I mean."

Jaggedclaw regarded him for a moment, as if weighing whether or not Spiderpaw was actually curious, or just trying to pester him. Finally, he shrugged his large shoulders, coming out of the den a bit more. He laid down, flat on his stomach.

"I watch," he answered, and Spiderpaw frowned.

"Watch what?"

Jaggedclaw looked past him. "Them."

Spiderpaw turned to see his other Clanmates sitting in camp, here and there: Stormshadow and Petalcloud were sharing tongues; Robinpaw was running circles around a sleepy Blizzardpaw; Shimmerfrost's silver tail poked out from the entrance of the medicine den.

"What's there to watch?" he asked. "You know them. Stormshadow's grumpy, Petalcloud's kind, Robinpaw's excitable, Blizzardpaw's calm, and Shimmerfrost's icy beyond belief."

"When you reduce a cat to a word or two, you're exposing your own ignorance," was Jaggedclaw's reply. "There's more to them than that. You know that. You're always finding out new things about Blackfeather and Leopardpaw, aren't you, even though you spend quite a bit of time with them?"

Spiderpaw mulled it over. "Maybe…but I'm not just watching them. I'm talking to them too, training with them, getting to know them. It's not really the same."

"In some ways, it's better, because you get to see the cat they try to hide, if you watch closely enough. Keep your eyes on Stormshadow. Petalcloud will leave in a moment."

Spiderpaw was skeptical, but did as Jaggedclaw requested; sure enough, Petalcloud rose to her paws within a few minutes, giving Stormshadow a parting smile and a nuzzle - Spiderpaw twitched his whiskers at that, a little puzzled - before she headed for the nursery, probably assuming that her apprentice still remained inside. Stormshadow didn't move, keeping as still as a statue, and Spiderpaw looked to Jaggedclaw with curiosity, wondering what the tom was waiting for.

And then, the cough came, rippling the gray tom's sides, breaking his stone-like act. Stormshadow glanced over his shoulder, as if making sure that no one had seen, before he became motionless once more.

"He's sick?" Spiderpaw whispered to Jaggedclaw, his eyes wide. "He's been covering it up?"

"As best he can," the tabby replied. "I'm sure those close to him, like Petalcloud, have noticed, but they can't force him to accept treatment. That's up to him."

"But why?" Spiderpaw didn't understand. "He's one of the strongest cats in the forest. We need him, especially if things get crazy with Twolegplace. What are we supposed to do if he gets worse?"

"His strength is the reason he's refusing treatment, and hiding his illness," the scarred tom answered. "He's confident he can outlast the disease, at least until the journeying cats come back with the real cure. Eating snowberries by themselves won't do much for him, especially since the dosage is so small, and they're more valuable to the Clan as bargaining chips…at least those that remain."

Spiderpaw watched the gray tom, wondering if what Jaggedclaw said was true. _He and Stormshadow are quite alike, then, whether they realize it or not, _he mused, shooting a furtive glance at the one-eyed tom.

"What other secrets do you know?" he challenged, but Jaggedclaw only gave him a blank expression.

"If I told you, they would no longer be secrets. Figure them out for yourself, if you're so curious." The large tom heaved himself to his paws, opening his mouth to say something more, before he stiffened. The hairs on his pelt rose, and he watched the camp entrance with bared fangs. Spiderpaw glanced towards the entrance as well, puzzled, and opened his mouth to catch the scents on the breeze.

_Rogue! _the air seemed to scream, and his pelt bristled, before he caught the scent of mud and reeds. As if on cue, Fern appeared, springing neatly through the entrance, followed by a few other cats that Spiderpaw didn't recognize. She seemed unafraid of the growls and unsheathed claws that greeted her, giving them all one cool look before turning her sharp gaze towards the nursery.

"Eaglestrike!" she yowled.

"I'm here," he said, padding out of the warriors den. She turned to face him, and Spiderpaw blinked as he saw the deep gash on her muzzle and slash along one shoulder.

"Morning," Fern meowed. "We have a bit of a situation, I'm afraid."

Eaglestrike looked back towards the rest of the Clan, eying the cats that were watching him intently, wondering what they were supposed to do. He flicked his tail, signaling for them to relax.

"What sort of situation?" he asked. "I'm sure you could have come here without an entourage."

"The last thing I wanted was to get jumped again," the tabby replied. Spiderpaw noticed her ears were lowered with unease. "It's been a rough morning."

"If you're not going to explain what happened, then leave," the deputy growled. "We don't have time to stand around and listen to you dither. What happened?"

"Things in Twolegplace are worse than we thought," Fern answered. "Maggot has contacts that Carmelo must not have known about, because there are new cats roaming the streets now, and they're devoted to him. He seems to be enjoying his new power, for instead of hanging back and trying to decide on a new battle plan after we ran him off the last time, he's attacked again."

Eaglestrike frowned. "We haven't scented any rogues nearby."

She shook her head. "They didn't attack _you. _They went after your neighbors. His rogues tip-toed around the marsh, avoiding our borders so we didn't notice them. And they attacked a PeakClan patrol."

The gray tabby stiffened. "Were there any survivors?"

The rest of the Clan shifted; they didn't know the truth about the attack which had nearly killed Spiderpaw's entire patrol.

"I don't know," she answered. "Last I heard, there was one who made it out, but she was in a bad way. You'll have to ask them if she pulled through, but I know that the rest of the patrol did not.

"We caught the rogues as they fled the scene - they drifted too close to another one of our patrols - and managed to finish off most of them before they got back to Twolegplace. But, unfortunately, PeakClan didn't realize this. That deputy of their was close to one of the patrol cats, and he was spitting fire about the whole thing, so PeakClan led a raid on us this morning, which is how I got these."

"They didn't come and ask us for any aid," Eaglestrike said, looking worried. "How did they fare?"

"Not well. We tried not to out-and-out kill them, since they're your allies and you're sort-of ours, at the moment, but it wasn't pretty. We won out, but really both sides lost." Her eyes darkened. "PeakClan can't afford a battle right now, and we didn't want one."

Spiderpaw couldn't help but look in the direction of the Peak.

_PeakClan must be devastated, if so many of their warriors are sick or already dead…and now they've been attacked. But why did Maggot go out of his way to attack them? Was it because they're vulnerable, or is there some other reason for his specifically targeting them? It would be easy to strike at us by going the other way around the forest, avoiding the marsh, like Blight's group did in the battle with Lion. I'm sure he's smart enough to figure that out, if he's managed to wrestle all the power in Twolegplace away from everyone._

Eaglestrike's brow furrowed, and he glanced again towards the Clan.

"Perhaps you should speak to Silverstar in her den," he said, flicking his gray tail towards the medicine den.

_Her den, _Spiderpaw thought, feeling an uncomfortable prickle run down his spine. _She hasn't slept in her real den in moons._

"Haven't told them much, have you?" Fern asked, a faint spark appearing in her eyes, but she turned towards the den anyway. The other rogues moved to follow, but Eaglestrike cut them off.

"You can stay in camp to wait for her, but you cannot go into the den," he said, a slight growl to his voice. The other rogues did not object, watching their second-in-command disappear into the den's gaping maw. The rest of the Clan shifted with unease, brimming with anxiety and curiosity. Eaglestrike looked one them, before ducking into the medicine den without another word.

"And now it all breaks loose," Jaggedclaw murmured. and an icy breeze ruffled Spiderpaw's fur, as if leaf-bare was running its fingers over his pelt.

. . .

The Clan's anxious murmurs had risen to plaintive meows when Blackfeather's patrol eventually returned, and the dark she-cat immediately trotted towards Spiderpaw, a puzzled look on her face as she spotted the rogues hovering on the edge of camp.

"What's going on?" she asked, sitting down beside them. "Everyone seems to be in a tizzy. Did something happen?"

"The Twolegplace cats attacked PeakClan," Spiderpaw explained. "Apparently Northstar is up in arms about it and they're blaming the marsh rogues for the entire ordeal. Fern is meeting with Silverstar right now."

Blackfeather seemed alarmed, and Spiderpaw knew she was thinking the same thing he was: Would Fern notice their leader was pregnant?

"Have they been at it long?" the black she-cat asked, tying to mask her worry. Spiderpaw shook his head.

"Not a terribly long time, but their problems are with PeakClan, not us. I'm sure they're going to try to arrange a big meeting or something."

"But will PeakClan agree to it, if they're blaming the rogues of the marsh? How do we even know if Fern is telling the truth? Her cats could be behind the attack. They don't seem to have a problem with AshClan, but what if they're having some sort of dispute with PeakClan and are hoping we'll settle it for them? I don't think Stonestar ever relinquished PeakClan's side of the marsh."

Spiderpaw snorted. "Fern wouldn't do that. She's not the type."

"Because you have so much experience dealing with rogues," Jaggedclaw said wryly. "She makes a good point. We can't implicitly trust her."

"She saved our patrol," Spiderpaw protested, before realizing that Jaggedclaw had probably not heard the entire story.

"She might have had her own reasons for doing so," Blackfeather mewed. "I'm sure it wasn't all because of your cute face."

The fur on his shoulders ruffled. "It's not like she saved us just to get in good with my father, since they're the ones that kidnapped me before," he growled, then blinked as something occurred to him. He looked towards the nursery, Leopardpaw rising in his mind.

_Eaglestrike wouldn't have letter in the Clan if she hadn't been there to save us, _he thought. _Two helpless kits in the forest on their own, getting into trouble much too big for them…almost like what Chillpaw did for Bluepaw and Redpaw, when they were little._

His eyes narrowed. _It's too much to just be coincidence, isn't it? Leopardpaw was right there when we needed her, and she wasted no time bringing us back and asking Eaglestrike to allow her to join the Clan. She couldn't have foretold what would happen o us, obviously, but perhaps she was hanging around just in case something happened, something she could use….our warriors did scent her around the area for a long time, after all. _

He blinked as he realized that Blackfeather and Jaggedclaw were both staring at him.

"What?" he snapped, but thankfully at that moment Eaglestrike appeared in the medicine den, summoning their attention away. Fern stood behind him, her green eyes flinty.

"I apologize, AshClan," Eaglestrike said quietly. "I have not been entirely truthful to you about recent events. These include Petalcloud's patrol. Some of you know that her patrol encountered Twolegplace rogues, but there was more than a simple skirmish that took place. I'll allow her to tell that tale." He nodded to the calico, whose honey-colored eyes widened with surprise.

"Fern and I are heading to PeakClan's territory," he continued, "to meet with Stonestar and Northstar, and hopefully settle this mess. Until we return, there will be no more patrols. We can't take the risk. I'll return as quickly as I can, but in the mean time everyone should stay here. No leaving camp for any reason, understand?"

The Clan murmured their assent, although it was clear that their nerves were buzzing as Eaglestrike padded out of camp, followed by Fern. The rest of the rogues filed out as well, disappearing into the forest. Petalcloud was frozen for a moment, before she made her way to the front of the group, looking hesitant.

"Hello," she said, and Spiderpaw was surprised to see that she actually looked nervous.

_I guess I'd be scared too, if I had to address the entire Clan. _

To her credit, Petalcloud was clear in her explanation, despite her tremors. Still, the Clan was churning with unrest as she finished.

"Why did Eaglestrike withhold this from us?" Frostfeather asked. "It shouldn't be a huge secret. We already knew the Twolegplace cats were dangerous, and crazy."

"But _this _dangerous?" Ravenwing meowed. "They nearly slaughtered an entire patrol." She glanced towards her son, and Spiderpaw's ears flattened as he remembered his promise to be safe.

_It wasn't exactly under my control, _he thought, but still felt a prickle of guilt.

"Exactly why Eaglestrike should have told us!" Frostfeather snapped. "We should have been on guard. We didn't even make our patrols larger to compensate!"

"We would have had to send half the Clan out on patrol to match their numbers," Petalcloud said. "There was nothing Eaglestrike could do about the situation, and I believe he felt the Twolegplace cats wouldn't attack again after their defeat."

"And he was wrong," Stormshadow rumbled, eyes narrowed. "Only this time, we were not the target."

"Why would they hurt PeakClan?" Darkstorm asked, the fur on his shoulders ruffling with unease. "I mean, they're jerks. But going after them specifically seems weird."

"They're weaker than we are," Shimmerfrost said from the medicine den, her icy eyes glinting. "They're vulnerable. Many of them have been crippled by the disease, or are dead. They're not allied with the marsh cats, as we are. They're easier to pick off first." She spoke with a cool, detached air that sent a chill down Spiderpaw's spine.

_Goldenshine could have been on that patrol, and she doesn't care at all, _he thought, eyes narrowing as he watched the silver tabby. He thought her head tilted towards him ever-so-slightly, but she didn't look directly at him.

_The Clan has no idea what she's been doing the past few moons…Leopardpaw and I are the only ones that do, and I'm too much of a coward to tell. _His ears flattened. _She can't be allowed to just slink around, though. For one thing, it's dangerous, if this meeting with PeakClan doesn't go well. For another, it's dangerous for _us. _What if someone gets hurt while she's out, like with Birchpool? Or something goes wrong with Silverstar's kits, and she's not there?_

_Maybe Leopardpaw can help me out._

It felt strange to trust the dappled she-cat, considering he'd just been thinking about her motives a few minutes ago, but did he really have a choice? He didn't want to heap more worry onto Blackfeather's slender shoulders, and there was no one else that could help him with the medicine cat.

_But that's the least of our problems, of course, _he thought looking towards the camp entrance. _If PeakClan turns against us and the marsh cats….We need every cat we can get if it comes down to a battle. _

_Otherwise, we might lose._

**AN: I'm pretty sure this is the longest hiatus since NaNo, and for that I apologize! Things have been pretty crazy and I have plenty of explanations for the wait. They'll be posted at the blog (remember, the link's on my profile).**

**Sorry for the wait, ducklings, but don't worry! Things should get better. Thanks for your patience and continued support! c:**

**Also, if you didn't already know, I did update with two one-shots in the challenge. They were both written ages ago, but I had to hold them back since the first had spoilers for an RP that I'm in. Anyway, I was hoping they'd tide you over until I was able to update Chilled again, so hopefully the wait wasn't too awful!**


	57. C h a p t e r 56

**C**_**hapter **_**56**

Her entire morning had felt like a haze, like an illusion that she was merely coasting through. Bluepaw had tried coaxing a few words out of her in the beginning, but after that failed, she had left her alone. Sootpaw didn't have the energy to say more than a few words at a time; it felt almost as though the night before had merely been a dream, that in a minute or two she would be jolted awake, panting and laughing with relief, scornful of how her silly imagination had gotten away from her. Sometimes she was even able to forget for a few moments, as she listened to Rook growl to Nightningale, or Bluepaw chatter to Sage - Sage, her _brother_.

And then she'd feel the gentlest touch of Chilpaw's mind brushing against her own, and it would all flood back.

He'd been silent too, merely watching, keeping an eye on her. She blushed when she thought of how they had watched the snow fall down, how he had done it to try and please her, then chided herself; she was being foolish, as usual. Chillpaw would be gone soon. His was the last story to tell, and then they would reach the Pool. And he would be taken from her.

_Taken, _she snorted. _As if he's something that I own. As if he's something I would want to. _

But the tiniest part of her did. The tiniest part of her wanted to hold him close, link him to her so that he wouldn't fade away in the Dark Forest, and they could have their little chats every night. It was naive - foolish, even - but she couldn't quench the desire entirely.

She needed something, anything to distract her from these thoughts, and the only available distraction was him.

_Sootpaw? _he said quietly, and as soon as he spoke, everything came rushing out of her, a torrent she could not suppress. None of it was meaningful - just babbling, about the weather and scents and the hunger in her belly - but it was enough to drive the more serious thoughts from her mind.

She wasn't even sure if he was truly listening, since she didn't allow him to get a word in edgewise - not even a 'Yes' or 'Uh-huh,' when one was called for. She just had to drown out everything with words, filling up her mind with gibberish until she was allowed to collapse and sleep, for any moment that her mind was not occupied with other things, she feared it would instead be filled by one malevolent, yellow eye.

And when that time for sleep did finally come, she found she was too full of pent-up anxieties and fears to allow her eyes to close.

It was then – that moment when she realized that even if she wanted to, she could not sleep, not without the possibility of Blight presenting himself to her again, in Chillpaw's dream forest or in nightmares – that her chatter finally died, leaving her feeling empty instead of full.

For the space of a heart-beat, there was silence in her mind, as Chillpaw waited for her to begin again. When she did not, he finally spoke.

_Are you alright?_

_Do I seem alright? _she snapped. _What do you want me to say? 'Oh, yeah, things are fine. I only found out that my father – my real father, by blood, not the amazing cat that raised me – is a complete beast. Oh, and the only reason I was chosen to help you out is because of my blood, and because my siblings were too _noble _to help out someone like their father. So yeah, I'm perfect! Never been better!_

_You sound bitter._

A flood of anger filled her. _Bitter? No! Why in StarClan's name would I be bitter for having been lied to my entire life? I can't imagine why anyone would be bitter about something as silly as that. _

_I didn't meant that you were wrong to be so, _he said. _I only meant…it's unsettling. Usually you seem to…bounce back from things. Even last night you seemed fairly stable…and then today you were half-mad. I don't quite understand, not having been in the position myself...but I don't like seeing you this way, as I told you before. Have you smiled a single time today?_

_I haven't exactly been in a smiling mood._

_Will you, then?_

_What? _her surprise was almost tangible.

_Just one. Please._

_Why would I smile now? I'm thousands of fox-lengths from home, I don't know if anyone else in the Clan has gotten sick or even died, I have terrible dreams, my father is a monster, all of my friends here are too busy talking to other cats they like better to pay attention to me, and in only a few nights you'll be…._

She faltered, ears flat against her head, her face burning with shame. Chillpaw was quiet for a moment, before saying,

_You're right. We're close to the Pool now. And in a few nights, we will have completed the ceremony…I'm sorry. I can't possibly understand how difficult things are for you. Perhaps I overestimated how much you could take…but I think you have underestimated your own strength. You've taken more upon yourself than any other cat I have ever known, and thus far you have excelled. You've managed to keep that playful spirit inside of you despite what you have seen, up until now…and I would not like to see that fade away._

_Sometimes it is hard to remember what light felt like, in the midst of all this darkness. But you help me remember._

Warmth flooded her then, seeping all the way down to her toes, and despite herself, her muzzle twitched into the shape of a smile.

_I don't want you to go, _she said, closing her eyes. _I don't want you to disappear._

_Whatever happens, happens. The plot has been put into motion, and we can't stop it now. The others will not rest until the ceremony is complete. I believe you know that. _

_I do, _she sighed. _But couldn't you just refuse to dream with me, or bring me back to the Dark Forest?_

_I am sure Blight would try to force me to cooperate. _Chillpaw's voice was cool, as if he did not fear the tabby tom at all. _But even if he did not…I need this, Sootpaw. I need to be able to choose my own destiny. _

She couldn't help but wince at that. _The last time you made that choice, you got yourself killed._

_Would you rather I lingered here until I faded away? It's an agonizingly slow process._

_No, no, of course not…but…._ She shook her head. _I just wish there was an easier way out of all of this._

_Wishing will not do either of us any good. Not now. If there was an easier route, we would have already taken it._

They were quiet then, at least for a short time. Sootpaw kept her eyes closed, but could not lull herself off to sleep. Chillpaw was still hovering over her; she had gotten used to sensing him, and could tell when he had truly left. It was almost comforting, having him there, as strange as that seemed; he, at least, would not desert her.

_Not until the ceremony, _she thought, and the very idea made her stomach clench.

_He can't reach you, you know, _came Chillpaw's voice.

_What?_

_Blight. I assume he is what is keeping you awake. He cannot enter your dreams – or at least, the real Blight cannot – without my permission. And I will not allow that to happen, I assure you._

_What if he makes you, like you said? _She couldn't keep the anxiety out of her voice, try as she might to seem collected.

_He can try. He will not succeed. My will is stronger than his. And he knows that he is less useful than I._

_Can…can you really promise that he won't be there? _

_I can, and I will. It's the least I can do._

A strange sort of peace settled over her, despite the bitter-sweetness of the arrangement. She allowed her breathing to slow, easing herself into sleep.

Chillpaw only said one thing before she went to sleep.

_You're stronger than you think._

. . .

_When she opened her eyes, she was met with familiar faces._

Foxpaw, _she thought, her eyes settling on the young ginger tom. _Birchpaw, Fogheart, Oakclaw, Amberfur…is Whitecloud here?

_To her surprise, she spotted the white she-cat within a few minutes. She was walking with a limp, but other than that, she seemed fine._

She's alive? _Sootpaw thought, feeling startled and then relieved. _But everyone survived when we were on that little Thunderpath…so maybe there isn't such a connection between life and death with these dreams after all. Maybe it's just luck.

_It was then that she realized the river was nowhere to be seen; Foxpaw and Birchpaw had apparently managed to convince the others that leaving it and heading for the mountains was the right choice. She could see them now, rising in front of the group like foreboding guardians. They weren't mountains, not exactly, but they weren't hills, either. They were somewhere in between, but despite lacking the towering height of mountains, they still have a vivid _presence _that she could not explain, a watchful spirit. She felt a prickle of unease, but of course there was no way she could warn them or try to get them to stop their march._

"_I have a terrible feeling about this," Cloudpaw said, as if echoing her own thoughts. "I can hear StarClan whispering. This is not the way we should be going. We should turn back now, while we still can. Why can't we just go home? Do you honestly think they won't welcome us back?"_

"_We can't look back," Fogheart said, tilting his head to look at the young apprentice. "All that we have now is what is before us. Even if the Clan would welcome us back, I believe our fates lie elsewhere now."_

_A cloud seemed to come over the white apprentice's face, but she said nothing, following in silence._

_Foxpaw and Birchpaw both appeared to be on edge; glancing at one another every few minutes as if to dare the other to object to continuing the journey. They both seemed a bit more nervous now, having realized that taking advice from a rogue stranger that they met in the woods wasn't the brightest idea, but there was still the faintest glimmer of hope in their eyes. She felt a prickle of sympathy for them; like her, they were longing for home, a home that they feared they might never be able to return to._

Even if they do, it won't be the same, _she thought, her ears flattening. _Journeys change you, whether you want them to or not.

_The rest of the journey up the mountains seemed to pass in the blink of an eye for her, in that strange way that dreams often utilized. One moment they were looking up the mountains, the next they were making their way through them, pausing to see the startling view that unfolded before them._

_The first thing Sootpaw thought was how familiar it looked. There was a forest spread before them, a great blanket of trees, each blending into the next. The hills surrounded the forest protectively on three sides; the fourth was framed by the stark sea. Some of the forest had given way to the east, leaving sparse patches of trees amongst the thick grass and mud._

It looks like Sage's home, _she realized, and her eyes widened. _It's not the same place – these mountains are smaller, there's less of the marsh and more of the forest – but it's still very similar.

"_Would they have come here?" Oakclaw asked, looking to Fogheart. "It doesn't look like their territory, but it's so…."_

"_Unspoiled," Amberfur murmured, for once looking at peace. "It's beautiful."_

"_We won't know if they're here until we explore a bit," Fogheart said, and the group began picking their way down the steep, grass-dotted slope._

_Sootpaw was the first to notice the movement above them. It was so fleeting that at first she thought she was only imagining it, but after squinting up at the rocks above them, she was certain she saw a small, dark shape dart from one boulder to the next._

_Her pelt prickled with unease as another small cat changed positions, then another. They seemed to be gathering to the right and left of the journeying cats, about ten fox-lengths above them. The only signs of their movement were the few smaller rocks that came clattering down when one of them made a false move, which was rare; if it wasn't for those few giveaways, Sootpaw wouldn't have taken note at all._

_By the time she realized what they were doing, it was too late to issue a warning; even if there had been time, they wouldn't have heard her. With a low grumble, one of the boulders the cats had been crouched behind began to roll forwards, thundering towards the unsuspecting group._

"_Watch out!" Oakclaw ordered, shoving the ginger WindClan warrior out of the way with his shoulder. The journeying group swerved to the left to avoid the rock. Another rock came crashing down moments later; this one was from the left, but since the group was already heading in that direction, there wasn't time enough to swerve away. They were forced to speed up, and the tumbling boulder missed the warrior in the back by inches._

_They were being herded, she thought, but she could do nothing but follow. The cats that had pushed the boulders did not give chase; instead, larger cats appeared, pouring out of tunnels that she had not seen because of the grass, charging after the journeying cats with terrible yowls._

_Normally Fogheart would probably stand his ground or try to reason with them, but the journeying cats were already shaken up from the rocks, moving on pure instinct as the larger cats chased them down. Sootpaw followed, pulled by the mysterious force that linked her to the Clan cats._

_And then, the ground gave way underneath her paws, and she tumbled into darkness._

_She hit the dirt floor with a thud, but there was no pain, which was one small blessing from the dream. Looking up, she saw a jagged line of sky above them; they had fallen into a cavern of some sort, like the vast, sprawling caves in Northstar's mountains. The drop had not been too far, but she was still filled with momentary fear for the journeying cats, until she saw them stirring._

"_What happened? Where are we?" Amberfur demanded, struggling to rise to her paws. _

"_I told you," Cloudpaw said. Her head rose, and her eyes glinted eerily in the gloom. "I told you we shouldn't have come."_

_A shadow passed over them then, and Sootpaw looked up again to find a familiar face smiling down upon them._

"_Foxpaw, Birchpaw," Kestrel purred. "Good to see you two again. You look well."_

_The two apprentices only gaped up at him for a moment; Birchpaw moved to bury her face in Foxpaw's fur, and the ginger tom snarled,_

"_What have you done? Why did you trick us?"_

"_You can never have too many able paws, right?" Kestrel asked, tilting his head to the side. "I'll be seeing you all again soon. Have fun explaining your current situation to the others! And, just in case you were wondering, SkyClan was never here. But it doesn't matter. One way or another, your journey is over."_

_Cloudpaw rose to her paws, a strange expression on her young face. She opened her mouth as if to speak, and—_

-Sootpaw jolted awake as an icy chill ran through her. It took her a moment to figure out where it came from: her nose was wet.

She shook herself and sat up, only to have another icy droplet hit her squarely between the ears. And then, with only the quietest growl above them, a sheet of rain came down.

Sootpaw was soaking wet within mere moments. Around her, the others sputtered and yowled as they came awake; for a moment, there was only confusion, shadowy shapes blinking at each other and only being able to make out glistening eyes, before they scattered, everyone racing to any available cover. Sootpaw found herself plastered between Rook and Nightingale underneath an old pine, trembling with cold.

She could barely see Rook's face, his fur was so long and thick. He almost reminded her of a lion that had been dunked in a lake, and if it wasn't for the frost pluming in front of her with each breath and the shuddering that wracked her limbs, she might have laughed.

It didn't take them longer than a few minutes to realize that they needed to find better shelter; the pine needles did little to deter the thickly-falling rain.

Sootpaw nudged the two of them, racing back out into the rain; she looked around for a moment, trying to find any sort of dip or thicker foliage that could protect them. Of course, in the middle of leaf-bare, leaves were hard to find.

"Over here!" she heard someone yowl, and her head whipped towards the sound. The three of them charged towards the voice, pushing through the bracken and ferns to find a den's narrow entrance.

The three of them managed to squeeze inside, but it was quickly apparent that there was hardly room for all of them. Sage and Bluepaw were already inside, along with Reedrush, but they would be hard-pressed to squeeze any more cats in.

Sootpaw moved closer to Bluepaw, letting out a quiet hiss of pain as Rook trot on her paw trying to angle himself more comfortably. She could feel the shudders running through him under his thick fur; the way he was curled up with his eyes closed, he looked like a foreboding brown cloud.

"Over here!" Bluepaw called again, and after a few moments, the others trickled into the den. As Sootpaw had feared, there wasn't room enough for all of them; two cats would have to sit out.

"I'll find somewhere else," Thistlethorn grunted, his amber eyes narrowed. With his slicked-down pelt, every rib was visible on the blue-gray tom as he shouldered his way out of the den. He was followed by Reedrush, who glanced back at the apprentices with a stoic smile.

"If we find somewhere with more room, we'll come and get you," she mewed. "Right now, though, huddle together. Lick each others pelts to get rid of some of the water. Get warm."

The two warriors disappeared into the pounding rain, and did not return.

The downpour continued for hours, and several times the apprentices murmured to one another, thinking that they should make sure that Reedrush and Thistlethorn were alright, but each time they cam to the conclusion that it was hopeless; there was no scent trail to follow, and it was nearly impossible to see through the continuing torrent. So they waited, huddled together, searching for any scrap of warmth as they sought to endure the storm.

The tempest finally wore itself out somewhere after dawn, the rain dying away little by little until it was nothing more than a dusting, then nothing at all. Warily, the cats crept out of their hiding place, half-expecting the storm to begin anew.

It did not take long for Reedrush and Thistlethorn to rejoin them. The first thing Sootpaw noticed was that they were still soaking wet, unlike the cats that had taken cover in the den, who had – for the most part – managed to dry off somewhat.

"We couldn't find anything more than a few tree branches to huddle under," Reedrush explained. Thistlethorn looked murderous, and the others simultaneously decided not to pester him with further questions.

"What's the next sign?" was all he said, with a pointed glare in Bluepaw's direction. His voice was hoarse from the chill of the night before, rasping unpleasantly against their ears.

The medicine apprentice seemed surprised; it took her a moment to answer.

"_Find the petals that soothe groans, scattered throughout the land of bones."_

At that, Reedrush's eyes lit up. "Bones, did you say?"

Bluepaw nodded, and Sootpaw thought she detected the faintest glimmer of hope in the silver tabby's gaze. Reedrush said nothing, however, only looking away.

"Well, why don't we get moving, then?" Thistlethorn snapped, before his thick voice gave way to a rough cough. Without waiting for a response, he turned away, heading in the direction of the Thunderpath. The rest of the group was quick to follow.

"Land of bones doesn't sound promising," Brackenpaw remarked to no one in particular, as the roar of monsters overtook them once more.

Nightingale shivered in agreement, pressing closer to Rook. Both of them were still very wet, but even they were dryer than Thistlethorn; his thick, unruly fur seemed to have absorbed the water, and it refused to leave without the full intensity of the sun bearing down on it. It wasn't going to happen any time soon; the sky was still filled with dark, foreboding clouds, and the threat of rain hung over their heads.

"It does sound ominous," Sage agreed. "Still, your gods would not send you to such a dangerous place, would they? Perhaps the name is misleading?"

"They would if they didn't think there was any way out of it," Brackenpaw answered. "Right?" He glanced towards Bluepaw, who seemed a bit surprised to be ask.

"Er, I guess so. I mean, yes. It does sound dangerous, so the herb we're looking for there must be very important," she meowed.

"But just think, after we find it, we get to go home, and see our families again." Brackenpaw let out a wistful sigh. "I want to see my mother and sister, and make sure they're okay."

"Not Northstar?" Rabbitleap teased with a glance over her shoulder at the throng of apprentices. Brackenpaw blinked, seeming startled, and his ears flattened.

"Not really," he admitted. "I wanted to…never mind. It's stupid."

"I'm sure it's not stupid!" Rabbitleap exclaimed, dropping back to walk alongside the golden tom. "What did you want? Maybe we can help!"

"I don't think you can." He seemed embarrassed. "I just…wanted to prove myself, you know? I wanted to be heroic, but…this journey wasn't what I expected. We only had one real battle, and I…Rainwind…."

Any lightness of spirit they had felt when thinking about returning home faded as they remembered their fallen comrade. He would never return to see their territory again, never exalt in their triumph when they found the last ingredient and saved the Clans.

_If there are any Clans to save, _Sootpaw thought darkly, before giving herself a mental shake. She was falling to pieces, or at least it felt like it. _One revelation, and your entire world shatters…but these cats need you to pull yourself together. Rainwind died because he wanted to keep his promise to protect you. You can't let that be in vain._

"Rainwind would have thought you were plenty brave," she said, forcing herself to break her silence. "You volunteered on this dangerous journey, after all. You fought those rogues, and if we're attacked again, you won't turn tail. Northstar should be proud of you."

Rabbitleap gave a quick nod. "I think he's plenty proud of me, and all I ever did was tumble off a cliff," she said with a laugh. "You're his son, if not in blood then by care, and he'll be proud of you no matter what."

The golden tom ducked his head, looking flustered but gratified. The conversation turned away from him, for which he appeared grateful.

"Any idea what the bone-land is?" Sage asked, looking towards Rook.

"You think I just ottermatically know, 'cause I'm a rogue?" Rook snapped. "I done told you, we ain't been everywhere. Just Twolegplace and Adder's land. We don't know nothing 'bout anywhere else. Just rumors and the like, and everybody knows those are worth less'n a mousetail."

"I was only curious," Sage replied. His tone was mild, but Sootpaw could see the faintest glimmer of irritation in his eyes as he looked away, glancing towards Bluepaw. "Do you have any other information?"

She shook her head. "No, not really. I only saw brief things with the prophecy, and they didn't really make any sense…I can't really help. We'll know it when we get there, though, I'm sure. How many lands of bone can there be?"

Nightingale flicked her tail towards Reedrush, and gave a small nod. Sootpaw studied the silver tabby with interest, seeing the determination that filled her steps, the quick stride with which she pushed the group forwards.

"She seems to know where she's going," Sootpaw said softly, barely realizing that she had spoken.

Sage nodded. "Indeed she does. Was she not a rogue too, at some point? I remember hearing that your Clan was mostly made up of them."

"She was," Bluepaw replied. "I think she lived by the lake for a time, but then she was captured by Twolegs, or something…but she was definitely on her own for awhile. She might know something about where we're going, or heard something about it from someone else."

"At least one of you idjits knows where yer goin'," Rook huffed. His pelt attempted to bristle, but was still so slicked down with water that it did little more than give a feeble twitch. Nightingale tweaked his nose with her tail, shaking her head.

Sootpaw blinked as she realized that Swanpaw had been silent for the entire discussion; looking over, she saw that the ginger-and-white she-cat had been stoically looking ahead, ignoring them entirely.

"You'll be glad to be home, won't you?" Sootpaw asked her, a little tentatively. Swanpaw only spared her a quick glance.

"Yes," she said, her voice icy, but offered nothing more.

"I am sure you will be happy to see your family," Sage tried. Swanpaw gave him a look that lasted a bit longer, but she was still curt.

"If my mother hasn't succumbed, then yes," she answered, and despite her best attempt, pain flickered in her eyes for a brief moment.

_I'd forgotten her mother was ill…it's been a moon since we left. If she wasn't already extremely sick, she will be by now. We might not get back in time. _Sootpaw's ears flattened at the thought, and for a moment, Ravenwing flashed in her mind, along with the remembrance that Ravenwing wasn't really her mother.

_She was tricked into it, _Sootpaw thought, and her throat grew tight. _She was fooled as much as I was. I have to tell her when I get back, don't I? I have to tell them all. But how can I explain it? How can I say I found out? I can't tell them about my dreams. That would only make it worse. They'd think I was a traitor, working to bring my father – my real father – back from the dead…am I a traitor to the Clan? Blight was killed, and for good reason…he slew many noble warriors, and felt no remorse. He ruined countless lives. How can Eaglestrike and Ravenwing and Spiderpaw look on me again, knowing that?_

She let out the quietest of breaths. _Maybe…maybe it would be kindest not to come back. Maybe once we find this third herb, I should just…leave. I can't be of more help to the others, not now. The cats in my dreams are finished with their journey, one way or another. Even if they escape Kestrel, somehow I feel they won't continue on. They'll never find SkyClan…but we're going to complete our mission. And we'll be able to return. They won't need me._

_I could just…disappear. Who would miss me? Bluepaw has Spiderpaw to fall back on when she gets home, Sage has everyone back in the mountains…Reedrush will get a new apprentice soon enough. Thistlethorn barely knows I exist. Eaglestrike, Ravenwing, and Spiderpaw would miss me, but wouldn't it be kinder to leave them thinking that we were a family? A real one, not born of lies and darkness._

_I don't know where I'll go, but at least I'll have…._And then the thought splintered, as she realized that when the time came for her to leave the journey, she would not have her anchor. By the time she could leave the journey, it was likely that Chillpaw would be gone. The ceremony would be complete, and he would be gone forever, claimed by the Pool. She wouldn't even have him to turn to, when she was lost, confused, and alone.

She would have no one.

She closed her eyes, trying to blot out the thought, that image of bone-aching loneliness, but couldn't.

_No matter what I do, I'm going to lose him, _she thought, and felt something akin to physical pain. _Either we complete the ceremony and he's swallowed up by the Pool to be reborn, or we fail and he fades away into the darkness. I'm such a fool. I knew from the beginning he wouldn't be able to stay, but I still let myself fall…._

_When he's gone, I'll have no one. _

A tail brushed against her flank, startling her, and when she opened her eyes, she caught Rook looking at her for a brief second, before he turned to say something to Nightingale, as he whisked his dark tail away. Sootpaw shook herself; she couldn't break down now, not in front of the others. That would only lead to questions that she couldn't answer.

She found herself watching Swanpaw again, noticing how the ginger-and-white she-cat's ears were turned towards the others, despite her apparent disinterest in their conversation.

_She doesn't have anyone else either. Rabbitleap and Brackenpaw are her Clanmates, but even they find her to be fairly unpleasant. It's by choice, though. She doesn't seem to want to get too close to anyone, besides perhaps Sage. I guess that makes sense, though, considering how her sister died and now her mother's sick…that's half of her family gone, just like that. It would be hard on anyone._

She moved so that she was on the PeakClan apprentice's other side.

"Crazy weather, right?" she asked, floundering for some sort of topic of conversation. Swanpaw snorted.

"It's normal for leafbare, or so I've heard. Last year was the crazy one, when it didn't rain at all. It will probably rain a lot, then snow. Herbs and prey will freeze, cats will go hungry…but I guess there's less of us now, so it won't be as much of a problem. Lucky, right?" Bitterness dripped out of every word, and Sootpaw almost flinched.

"No one thinks of it like that, as something lucky," she began, but Swanpaw turned on her, eyes flashing.

"Save your drivel. You can't honestly tell me AshClan isn't the smallest bit glad that so many PeakClan cats are going to get sick and die. It means less competition for them, less of a threat…after all, as you all are so fond of saying, our only real protection is our numbers, and now we've lost that. PeakClan's going to be crippled, and AshClan will be there to pick up the slack. You're the ones who reap the benefit of our fall from grace, so don't sit there and tell me how sorry you are for our losses, how much you want everything to be beautiful and happy again, because you're lying. And even if you weren't, it wouldn't matter. Your feelings won't bring my sister back to life. They won't cure my mother. They won't protect my brother and father from being infected, if they haven't been already. They won't make everything okay again, because it never will be. So spare me your pathetic attempts at comraderie, because we are not friends, and we never will be. PeakClan might be doomed, but I'm still a PeakClan cat, and I will be until I die. And that means that even if we're on this journey together, we are still enemies. Nothing is going to change that, now or ever."

With that, Swanpaw turned away, stalking forwards until she was nearly up to the AshClan warriors, drifting off to the side to put some space between herself and them, as if they carried a disease of their own. Sootpaw only stared after her, feeling confused and hurt.

_No matter what I tried, nothing's going to bridge the gap between her and I. And I can't say that I blame her. AshClan took everything from PeakClan – we stole their territory, their pride, the lives of their warriors when they had to fight Lion, their health when that battle caused this disease to run rampant – and we've given them nothing in return. Friendly as Rabbitleap and Brackenpaw are, I'm sure there's at least some bitterness in them too, even though it's hidden. And that will persist, unless somehow AshClan makes it right…and how can we heal something like that?_

Try as she might, she couldn't think of a solution. As far as she knew, Silverstar had tried to be kind towards PeakClan, but after Chillpaw had betrayed her, their attempts to repair their connection to PeakClan had been pushed to the side. Things would only get worse now, as PeakClan collapsed from the sickness and placed the blame squarely on the warriors of AshClan.

_And AshClan will be growing weaker too, of course, _she thought with a flutter of anxiety. _There's no telling how many of our own cats have fallen ill, or if any of them have actually died…we can't know until they return._

_Or…Chillpaw might know. I don't think he would tell me, though…and I'm not really sure I would want to. I'd have to keep that knowledge to myself, after all. The only one I might be able to hint towards is Bluepaw, and she would be suspicious, if she isn't already._

_I haven't told her about my most recent dream, either…although I'm not sure telling her would help. I didn't get to finish it, after all…and if we're walking into an ambush in the bone land, which we very well might be, I don't think we have a choice. We have to go there to get the third component to the cure...it can't be something common like the first two, foxglove seeds and juniper berries…StarClan wouldn't have sent us away for something so trivial. Whatever it is, it has to be valuable, and we have no choice but to go after it._

_And then our journey too will end, one way or another. And they'll be able to go home. And I'll…I'll find my own way. I have to._

**AN: First, I'M ALIVE! Yay!**

**Second, I'M STILL WORKING ON CHILLED! Yay!**

**Third, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY FOR THE DELAY! Not yay!**

**Just been really busy with papers and stuff && also trying to nail down the final bits of Chilled. Plot-wise, I mean. And writing has been kind of a drag lately, but let's not get into that.**

**Anyway. Just wanted to assure you guys that Chilled is very much alive! I know the pauses have been extremely long and I'm really sorry for that, but it can't be helped. I'm doing my best. I'm not quitting or giving up or anything like that – if that ever happens, I'll tell you first, and it won't, because we're so close to the end – just really busy. I really, really appreciate your continued support and I love all you guys that are sticking with this story. Rest assured, it will be finished! It just might be a long time. Please please pretty please don't give up on me, because as long as there's at least one person still reading, I'll keep writing. c:**

**Blog update on the morrow!**


	58. C h a p t e r 57

**C**_**hapter **_**57**

The air in camp was heavy, dark. PeakClan had not responded well to AshClan's attempted diplomacy. Stonestar had apparently labeled them as traitors for siding with the marsh rogues, and wouldn't listen to their protests that the marsh cats had nothing to do with the recent attacks; frankly, Spiderpaw couldn't blame him. The gray tom had to feel that he was losing control over his Clan, as they succumbed to disease and the agonies of battle.

Not to mention that Northstar was unable to curb him, being filled with fury himself. Apparently the only survivor of the patrol had been Rosedapple, Northstar's mate; while it looked as though she would pull through, Northstar was still consumed with hatred for the Twolegplace cats that would be difficult to quench.

Eaglestrike was troubled by the divisions, of course; AshClan needed PeakClan to fall back on, or at least they had in the past when they had been forced to confront Lion. Now, though, it seemed that no such unison would occur.

The only bright spot was that Spiderpaw's leg was much less sore than it had been the day before, but of course most of the Clan didn't care about that. Petalcloud had stopped by to visit her apprentice as well as her son, but had stressed that it would be several more days before she would train with Spiderpaw again, to prevent aggravation to the injury.

He was itching to get out of the medicine den, of course, and of camp itself. The last thing he wanted to be doing while a war was mounting was to sit off on the sidelines like a helpless kit.

_Father will have a good reason to keep me out of any upcoming battles, _he thought, ears flattening. _It'll be that much longer before I become a warrior._

He hadn't given the issue much thought in some time; somehow, earning his warrior name just hadn't seemed so important with all that was going on. Now, though, he had plenty of time to sit and think, and he found himself wondering just how close he was to becoming a warrior. He still had plenty of training to go through, that much was obvious. And then there was his assessment. Who would he be fighting? Before, it had seemed likely that his opponent would be Jaypaw or Redpaw, since they were some of the youngest cats in the Clan next to him, but now Jaypaw was ill and Redpaw was missing. He could hardly fight Robinpaw to prove himself, and he couldn't imagine them pitting him against Sootpaw, when she returned.

_She's probably learned loads more than I have anyway, _he thought with a prickle of irritation, then licked his chest. _Or we'll be even, since she didn't learn anything there for a long time…._

He shook himself, tearing his thoughts away from his sister. It wouldn't do any good to think of her now; that could wait for when she came back, when he knew she was safe. He was more than happy to let her become a warrior before him if it meant that she came home in one piece.

A shadow fell over the entrance to the den, and he quickly looked up, thinking it might be Blackfeather, but instead he found Leopardpaw blinking down at him, before her gaze flicked to Fireblaze. Spiderpaw was willing to guess that she wished he wasn't in the den at that moment so they could continue their secret friendship discussions in peace, but his paw still ached a bit and he didn't feel like moving. He yawned at her, indicating that he wasn't about to move.

"Feeling better?" Leopardpaw asked him, but didn't wait for an answer, looking to Fireblaze once more. "How are you?"

The ginger tom shrugged. "Alright. I'd be better if I was out there right now, patrolling or looking for Redpaw, but according to Shimmerfrost that has to wait. Has there been any sign of him?"

Leopardpaw shook her head. "No one's seen a ginger hair out of place," she reported. "It looks like he really did go into Twolegplace. I wouldn't think about it much further, if I was you. Either he's gone, or he's thinking about coming back. Either way, there's not much you can do. Just worry about yourself, okay? Heal up." Her eyes softened for the briefest instant, but then she seemed to remember Spiderpaw and quickly hardened herself once more.

"I'm doing just fine too, if you were wondering," the black apprentice growled, but couldn't summon up any real anger. His mind was still buzzing with suspicion of her motives from moons ago, but at that moment he was more preoccupied with Shimmerfrost. The recent turn of events meant that PeakClan was effectively an enemy, and her nightly jaunts with PeakClan warriors could no longer continue.

_And Leopardpaw could help me with that. She knows what Shimmerfrost's been up to as well, after all. After all, Shimmerfrost might be able to arrange _one _suspicious death, but two? That would be a little much, even for her._

The only issue was how to broach the topic, with Fireblaze present – and captivating most of Leopardpaw's attention. Spiderpaw considered it for a moment, before deciding that he would have to sacrifice his comfortable position.

"Leopardpaw, I'm kinda hungry. Would you mind helping me get some fresh-kill?"

The golden tabby seemed a bit surprised that he asked her, considering how volatile he usually was when it came to matters of pride, but she shrugged.

"We'll make it quick," she said to Fireblaze, and he nodded. Spiderpaw rose to his paws with a wince, leaning on her as they exited the den.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Spiderpaw stopped walking. "I'm not all that hungry."

Irritation flickered in Leopardpaw's gaze. "What do you want, then?"

"You know about Shimmerfrost," he said, getting straight to the point. "I saw you two talking together."

Alarm flitted over the dappled she-cat's face as she considered the implications of this. "Talking?"

He flicked his tail dismissively, not caring about the details of their conversation; he could puzzle over it suspiciously later. "Yeah. Point is, I already knew what she was up to, but I was afraid to challenge her…medicine cats have a lot of power, you know. And then I was kind of busy with…everything else. But I think it's a little more important now. I don't think she has any real attachment to the cats of PeakClan, but taking chances wouldn't be wise, and if she lets anything slip during those meetings, or if one of them was to capture her…." He shook his head.

Leopardpaw was only watching him, her eyes narrowed. Then, much to his surprise, she shrugged. "Alright. She'll probably be heading out again tonight, if you want to meet once Fireblaze is asleep."

He blinked – he had been expecting her to ask what was in it for _her, _beyond the safety of the Clan. He waited a moment longer, trying to figure out if she was using some sort of trick, before his muzzle twitched into a smile. "Sounds good. Now…." He glanced towards the fresh-kill pile. "I could actually go for a mouse."

. . .

It felt like years until Fireblaze finally fell asleep; Spiderpaw had feigned sleep himself as he waited for the ginger tom's breathing to settle, and he was half-asleep himself when Leopardpaw poked his shoulder.

"Are you sure you want to do this tonight?" she meowed down to him. "You look comfortable."

"Can you at least pretend we're friends? We're on the same side for once," he said, shaking his head to rid himself of the lingering fuzziness as he rose to his paws, minding his injured foreleg. It didn't ache as much now as it had before, and he mentally made a note to pester Petalcloud into letting him train a bit.

_Of course, I've got to be alive to do that, _he thought, _and there's no telling how Shimmerfrost is going to react to this._

"Let's go," he ordered, choosing to brush aside his fears rather than to calm them. Leopardpaw rolled her eyes, walking alongside him.

There was no one standing guard in camp – Eaglestrike didn't seem to think PeakClan would mount any sort of attack, and thus far the Twolegplace cats had stuck to the daylight as well – so they were able to leave without much difficulty, although they did attempt to stick to the shadows. The moon was still fairly large above them, illuminating their path with its gentle glow. They paused just out of camp to scent the air and make sure that Shimmerfrost had indeed strayed away from the forest, and began following her scent trail.

It faded away near a patch of damp ferns, and Spiderpaw frowned to himself; he hadn't really expected anything less of the crafty she-cat, but it meant they would have to be much more careful if they wanted to catch her unawares.

The two of them headed down towards the bank in silence, neither of them wanting to breathe a word lest they accidentally alert their prey. It felt strange to Spiderpaw, stalking a Clanmate as if she was a mouse, but he pushed away his doubts; Shimmerfrost knew what she was doing was against every one of StarClan's rules, and she was putting the rest of the Clan in grave danger.

Leopardpaw held up her tail as they drew still nearer to the river, and Spiderpaw froze, ears pricked. He heard a rustle in the undergrowth, and the two of them ducked down until their bellies were pressed against the ground. They crept forward, and Spiderpaw stiffened as he caught PeakClan scent. Through a tangle of brambles, he spotted a familiar golden pelt.

"Shimmerfrost?"

The golden tom's voice was not what Spiderpaw had expected; rather than the haughtiness or bravado from when he had ambushed Spiderpaw and Blackfeather, he seemed lost and confused, even a bit pitiful. Spiderpaw exchanged glances with Leopardpaw, but she looked just as confused as he was.

"Shimmerfrost?" Goldenshine called again. "Is that you? Please come out. You don't have to hide. I'm not going to hurt you, love, I promise." He waited a moment longer, holding his breath.

"Please come back to me," he meowed, his voice cracking. "I don't know what I did wrong, but I'll fix it, I promise! I know we agreed we wouldn't talk during the Gathering, but I saw how you were looking at Hawktalon…and I know you said you weren't looking to settle down, but I thought what we had…." Spiderpaw could see his pained golden eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I did. But I'll do better, dove, I will."

His ears swiveled around as he waited for Shimmerfrost's reply, but it was not forthcoming. His demeanor suddenly changed, shifting from forlorn lover to furious warrior in a split second.

"You're going to regret it," he snarled, his voice thick and hot with anger. "You're going to regret turning your back on me, Shimmerfrost, I swear it! Just you wait."

With a snarl, he turned, and within moments he had crossed the river and disappeared. Spiderpaw swallowed, apprehension running over his pelt.

"She's probably moved onto a different plaything by now," Leopardpaw said, as if the spectacle that had unfolded before them hadn't happened at all.

"Aren't you just the smallest bit concerned by that?" Spiderpaw demanded. "PeakClan's our enemy right now, or they think they are. Goldenshine knows about her unfaithfulness, and he's furious about it. The last thing we need is another reason for PeakClan to hate us."

Leopardpaw shrugged. "Shimmerfrost chose her own path, and she'll suffer the consequences. If something happens to her, we have your mother until Bluepaw gets back. The Clan will manage."

His pelt bristled. "I thought you were starting to get it."

"Get what?"

"What being in a Clan is all about! It's not about surrounding yourself with cats that can help you out in a pinch. It's not about dropping someone as soon as they become useless to you. It's about standing by your Clanmates, whether you like them or not. It's about shielding those that are vulnerable. It's about protecting those you care about, and those you don't, because in the end we're all that we have.

"Think of it this way: if _you _screw up, do you really want the Clan to wash its paws of you?"

Leopardpaw only blinked at him for a moment. "I see," was all she said in reply, but her green eyes were thoughtful as she glanced away from him. "Either way, we need to find her. You can warn her, if you like, but we need to stop her before she tries to seize another PeakClan tom.

Spiderpaw followed her as they began moving through the forest again, staying close to the bank. His paw was beginning to throb again, but he ignored it, not wanting the dappled she-cat to think he was weaker than she already did.

It wasn't long until they heard more movement in the brush, but this time it was not accompanied by any PeakClan scent. They fell into crouches once more, moving forwards like slick shadows over the dry leaves, skirting over them with the fragility of feathers.

Shimmerfrost's silver pelt glowed in the dimming moonlight, a stark contrast to the pale trunks and the bare branches that made up of most of the forest. She was sitting down, apparently deep in thought, her eyes fixated on the stars. Spiderpaw signaled for Leopardpaw to wait , wondering what she was up to.

"It hasn't helped, has it?" the medicine cat said aloud; thankfully, she didn't look towards them, and Spiderpaw assumed she was speaking to their ancestors. "I haven't changed anything. You're still continuing on with your work, tugging at the strings of our lives without any regard for what _we _want. No amount of rebellion is going to change that, is it? I'm powerless compared to you."

Her claws dug into the ground. "Why did you take them? That's what I can't understand, no matter how much I think it over, no matter how much I run through it in my mind. Why did you take them? They were just kits, as innocent as new never drew a breath, let along did any harm. What purpose did letting them die serve? Why did you tell me that my own _brother _was going to…."

She shook her head. "I don't understand anything you do. First, you took him instead of me. You left me in the middle of the wilderness without a chance of survival – if Silverstar hadn't come through, I would have died. You ran with him back to the mountains, back to the land you claimed to hate, back to the land that twisted you in the first place…and you never attempted to come back. You never came to me. You left me, you _abandoned _me, and then even after you died, after I found him and welcomed him into our Clan and set everything up so perfectly, you chose him again. You let him pick his destiny, you let him hurt her and her kits, and you didn't give me even the tiniest warning of what was to come. _Why?_

"I've gone over this again and again and again and I still don't know. I didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't a perfect daughter, but I wasn't a monster like he was. I deserved to come with you to the mountains, not him. And I was a good apprentice; I learned as much as I could from Rumble. Being a medicine cat was my destiny. And, in the end, even that didn't let me help two of the only cats that I've ever cared about."

Spiderpaw's ears burned; this was a private scene, something they were not meant to lay eyes on, but he couldn't turn away, and Leopardpaw was similarly enraptured. They remained, crouched, unmoving, as Shimmerfrost stared down at her paws as if the curl of the leaves could unravel the mysteries of the heavens.

"I'm done with him," she said finally, "done with them. But it's not because of you. I'm tired of that filth…I don't want it on my conscience, but it's not because I'm bowing to you and your faulty decrees. You can rot up there in your starry prison for all I care. Send your dreams to Bluepaw, not to me, because I don't need them anymore. Maybe you'll care more for her than you ever did for me."

Shimmerfrost rose to her paws, and Spiderpaw's heart froze in his chest when it looked like she was heading for them. At the last moment, however, she turned, instead stalking deeper into the forest, her silver tail disappearing in the brambles. Only when her pawsteps completely receded did Spiderpaw allow himself a quiet thankful exhale.

"Kits?" Leopardpaw murmured. "What kits? Obviously she isn't talking about her own…do you think…." Intuition gleamed in her eyes, and Spiderpaw quickly shook his head.

"No. Cut that thought off right there. We can't talk to anyone about this, you understand? She's stopping, that's all that matters. Anything beyond that isn't our business."

"Since when did you become so preoccupied by the security of others, Spiderkit?" she asked, a sneer entering her voice. "As I recall, you're only too eager to poke your nose where it doesn't belong."

"Drop it." His voice was low and cold. "It happened before you got here. Most of the Clan doesn't know, and there's no reason for them to. It was terrible, but it's in the past now."

"Not for her," Leopardpaw replied, flicking her tail towards where Shimmerfrost had disappeared. "And not for Silverstar either, I bet."

Spiderpaw flinched at the name, but kept his green eyes fixed on her. "I'm not asking for myself. The last thing Silverstar needs now is for that to come up. Please, Leopardpaw, just let it go."

She seemed taken aback by his plea, and she studied him, before shrugging. "Whatever. No skin off my nose. You want to head back to camp now, I'm assuming?"

He nodded, and she rose to her paws. He allowed himself to lean on her on the way back, but only because his leg was aching more fiercely than before, and the last thing he needed was Shimmerfrost examining him in the morning and becoming suspicious.

The forest was eerily silent as they returned to camp; nothing moved in the undergrowth, and the branches were completely still. Wind didn't ruffle their pelt; there were no clouds dotting the skies, glowing iridescently in the moonlight. It unnerved him, but made it easier to ensure that they didn't cross paths with Shimmerfrost, for even Leopardpaw's careful pawsteps made the softest of sounds as they brushed over the dry leaves.

His pelt didn't entirely flatten until they were in camp and she led him back into the nursery; he ducked in, and then paused to look back up at her. Her pelt was enveloped in a silver halo as she stared back down at him, her green eyes sharp and quizzical.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "For…helping me. And agreeing to keep this a secret."

She was silent for a moment, before meowing, "Thanks for trusting me with it."

Before he could say anything more, she was gone, striding towards the apprentice den. He watched her go, before limping back to his nest and curling up.

Beside him, Fireblaze shifted, and Spiderpaw immediately froze.

"What were you two doing?" the ginger tom rumbled, and Spiderpaw cursed inwardly.

"Nothing. I just couldn't sleep," he lied, but he could tell just by stealing a glance at the fiery warrior that he was not convinced.

"So she just so happened to not be able to sleep too, and you went and sat outside for an hour? I'm not an idiot. You were looking shifty and impatient all day, so I just pretended to be asleep." Fireblaze yawned. "I'm really tired, so if we could get this over with, I'd appreciate it. I don't get why you feel like you have to lie to me. Who was it that helped get you out of that marsh again? Who fought off Redpaw to help you out?"

Spiderpaw's ears flattened. "It's complicated, okay? Something between me and her. If it was something you needed to know, I'd tell you, but this is private."

Fireblaze grunted. "Right. Private. If you two have something going on, you need to tell my sister first."

Spiderpaw made an odd noise, something between a cough and a snort. The idea of him having anything 'going on' with Leopardpaw struck him as even more ridiculous than him and Blackfeather. "What? No, it's nothing like that."

"Are you sure?" Fireblaze was watching him out of the corner of his eye in an attempt at slyness. "You have the sort of spirit that she likes."

"I'm pretty sure she only considers me to be a pesky thorn in her side," he answered with a roll of his eyes. "Even if she offered, I wouldn't be interested."

"Why not?" Fireblaze's reply was probably sharper than he had intended.

"Well, she's pretty—"

"She's beautiful."

"—but she's kind of crazy. Not to mention that we don't really know where she came from, and I can't help but be the smallest bit suspicious of her sudden appearance right when we needed her, considering that she'd shown no interest in appearing to us before that—"

"You're suspicious of her because she saved your life?" The ginger warrior sounded incredulous.

"Don't you think it's the tiniest bit odd that she just so happened to appear right when the deputy of the Clan's kits were in trouble?" Spiderpaw pressed. "Doesn't that seem weird?"

"What seems weird is that you're acting like she's a traitor, when all she did was fish your sister out of the river," Fireblaze growled. "If I was you, I'd be licking the ground she walked on. If something had happened to your sister, your whole life would be over. Nothing would have been the same for you after that. But Leopardpaw stepped in and prevented that from happening, and you turn around and blame her for some imaginary crime?"

Spiderpaw's ears heated – when Fireblaze put it that way, it did seem foolish. "It's jut a feeling, that's all. Don't you think it's odd, the way she's always lurking in the forest?"

"She always comes back with prey," Fireblaze shot back. "Some cats just like being alone now and then. Rogues don't always have a lot of company; she probably isn't used to so many cats."

"Still, after all this time? She's been a part of the Clan for moons now."

The ginger tom shrugged. "Adjustments are different for everyone. But is that really all you have? Convenient – some might say miraculous – timing and a bit of a loner streak?"

"She nearly ripped your head off when she first got here, if you've forgotten," Spiderpaw meowed.

"She was fresh out of the wilderness, and I was a jerk." Fireblaze's voice was starkly matter-of-fact. "Let's be honest. You hated my guts, and I wasn't too fond of you. I'm pretty sure the same went for her. We had a weird three-pointed-hate thing going on."

Spiderpaw couldn't quite argue about that. His few remaining points mostly concerned things he had overheard, or gut feelings, none of which he could really share without looking like a fool or a creep – it occurred to him that telling Fireblaze about his past spying might make him appear like a bit of a creep, rather than the hero he envisioned himself being.

The two of them were quiet for a moment, before Fireblaze meowed,

"I guess I can see where you're coming from, though…especially since she made a fool of you so often." He glanced at Spiderpaw, looking amused. "From your very first meeting, she out-heroed you, eh? She saved your sister when you couldn't. I'm sure that got under your fur some."

The fur on Spiderpaw's shoulders ruffled with irritation. "I've helped protect your sister in a few battles, if you haven't forgotten. I helped her train to become a warrior."

The ginger warrior flicked his ear. "I know. If you hadn't done that, and I hadn't recognized it, we wouldn't be having this conversation, now would we? We'd still be tearing at each other's throats. But you see my point, right? I think part of the reason you dislike Leopardpaw so much is that she succeeded where you failed, and you can't accept that. The only obvious reason for it to have happened is that she must be a traitor. A spy. But she's done a lot of good for the Clan. She's hunted her share of prey, fought with us in battles, provided insight here and there…she's given me some stealth tips that have definitely proved valuable. And sure, sometimes she can be a pain. She gets under my fur too; she's quite good at it. But that doesn't mean she isn't on our side." He paused for a moment, and his amber eyes darkened. "It's kind of sad that we have to have sides."

Spiderpaw couldn't argue with that. He didn't like the idea of one of their Clanmates being a spy either, especially since Leopardpaw had helped him out once or twice. But he couldn't let go of his gut feeling, either.

_Has there ever been a time when things like this didn't happen in the Clans? _he wondered. _Does there always have to be someone untrustworthy in the Clan? Before Leopardpaw, there was Dapplefern, who gave up her Clan to help Lion, all because of some stupid love betrayal…Goldenshine might do the same, we don't know. And even before that, cats from the forest defected to FrozenClan, rather than lose their own lives. There were certainly spies in the ranks of the forest Clans. And even before that….Is this just something that plagues the Clans, or is it everywhere?_

_I guess it's in Twolegplace, too. Maggot betrayed Carmelo for power, and Flicka might have sided with him…but then Flicka sided with Carmelo first, to protect the remnants of Amber's group. And I'm sure if we poked around more in Twolegplace, we'd find other such histories…._

_And there was Blight and Nightshade, who went undercover in Tremor's band in an attempt to break them down from the inside. And there was Brightfire, and Rainsplash and Eaglestrike too, who hid in TalonClan to try and protect those they cared about. Eaglestrike risked his life to see what TalonClan would do next, and if they knew anything about Silverstar and her friends, all that remained of BirchClan…._

He sighed. _Treachery seems to be a constant then, doesn't it? Cats take in those they think are friends, shelter them, watch over them, trust them, and then they are betrayed…and sometimes the traitors are evil cats, like Maggot, but sometimes they're good, like my father…or maybe we're wrong, and it's the opposite. Maybe Maggot's only seizing power from Carmelo, who was definitely becoming dangerously strong and expanding his influence. Maybe Eaglestrike was wrong for entering TalonClan under false pretenses to gather information and protect those who had lost the war._

_There's just no way to _know, _is the frustrating thing. We can't know until it's too late…and maybe it already is._

He realized that he had lost the thread of their conversation, and that Fireblaze was watching him, although the ginger tom didn't say anything.

"I'm still going to keep an eye on her," Spiderpaw said, and Fireblaze shrugged.

"Do what you want. Just don't be obvious about it. The easiest way to drive a cat to treachery is to accuse them of it." He stared out of the entrance to the den. "I'd be less concerned with our Clanmates, though, and more worried about PeakClan."

Spiderpaw blinked; for a few hours, he had forgotten the threat of the breaking Clan. "Do you really think they pose any sort of threat to us right now?"

"We don't know, and that's why they're dangerous. They're backed into a corner, with this sickness and enemies on every side…and backing cats into a corner is never a good idea, right? There's no telling what they might end up doing, if the think it's to protect themselves, to keep their Clanmates safe. They've lost their home, their friends, their Clanmates, their dignities…they don't have much farther to fall before they won't even really be a Clan anymore."

"Imagine if Stonestar fell ill," Spiderpaw said with a shudder. Fireblaze seemed thoughtful.

"I'd say he already is," the ginger tom said. "Not with any real sickness, like the chilling disease…but a sickness of pride. When he became leader, he thought he could pull PeakClan up, but thus far they've only continued to spiral downwards."

Spiderpaw was confused by this side of Fireblaze – the thoughtful tom, rather than the hotheaded warrior persona that he usually adopted – and smiled to himself, knowing that it would probably disappear as soon as his injuries were healed and he could look forward to sinking his claws into a tangible enemy again, rather than empty words.

"Then we have to make them feel like they can rise from the ashes, so to speak, don't we?" he asked. "AshClan did it. There's no reason why they can't."

"AshClan had StarClan on its side. I don't think PeakClan feels like the stars are watching over them anymore," the ginger tom replied. "I mean, they've lost countless Clanmates, and had to leave their homes to find a new camp. AshClan would be disheartened by that too."

"It's not as bad as what Silverstar went through before, and most of the cats here have felt that sort of loss before," Spiderpaw meowed. "Everyone had to leave their homes to come here, except for Forestheart. We've done it before, and we could do it again."

"That's PeakClan's problem. They haven't done this before, or at least they cant remember having done so, so now it seems hopeless to them, like they're trapped in a tunnel and can't see the way out." Fireblaze frowned. "I wish we could give them hope somehow, inspire them…show them that we're not the real enemy here, and neither are the marsh cats. We've all got to join together against the Twolegplace cats, or we'll be overrun. It's Lion all over again."

"Lion was our fault, though," Spiderpaw said. "Is this?"

"The disease did come from the FrozenClan cats, so that much we have to take responsibility for, I think. But the Twolegplace cats…well. I guess you could say that Amber wouldn't have died if she still had her brother to fight, and Cane wouldn't have died if it hadn't been for the battle. But who's to say one of them wouldn't have had an accident and died anyway? Carmelo coming into power might have been inevitable. He was younger than Cane or Amber, and probably would have outlived them, unless they joined together long enough to hunt him down and kill him."

"They should have done that in the first place," Spiderpaw said with a roll of his eyes. "Carmelo was their enemy. They should have crushed him."

"With that logic, we should crush PeakClan right now, since they're technically our enemies," Fireblaze pointed out, "and that would be crazy, since we need them. Perhaps Cane and Amber thought they might need Carmelo some time – against the Clan cats."

It was a sobering thought. Spiderpaw tried to imagine all of Twolegplace rising up against PeakClan, and shuddered. PeakClan would not have survived. The Twolegplace cats had them beaten in numbers and skill. The Clan would have been overrun.

"If you imagine that happening, then it's a good thing we came here, or they would have all been killed," Spiderpaw said, then sighed, "but there's no proof that it woul have, and they wouldn't be happy if we pointed it out."

"Perhaps your father should apologize to them." Fireblaze gazed out of the entrance. "I mean, we've had little apologies, but have we really had any big peace effort since the battle with Lion? We've been quick to defend ourselves every time, at even the slightest threat, and I think that's been making things even worse than they already were. If Silverstar was well enough to give them a proper apology, or if we could give them something that would truly show we stood by what we said…."

"Like the snowberry plant."

Fireblaze seemed startled. "What?"

"We have possession of it now, technically," Spiderpaw said, "and it's made them increasingly nervous to know that. They see it as theirs because Northstar brought it back, but it's on our territory. They've sent cats over to retake it before, and now that we're 'enemies,' they'll probably try it again. But what if we offered it to them first, perhaps with accompanying prey, as a token of apology? It's not enough to make up for the lives they've lost and the hardships they've suffered, but…."

"Do you think your dad would go for that?" Fireblaze peered at him. "I mean, it's a big risk. PeakClan could snatch the plant up for themselves. There's nothing compelling them to share with us, in that instance. And if they still view us as enemies after that, we'd have to fight them to get it back, and wouldn't we be the bad guys then?"

Spiderpaw sighed. "It's risky, of course…and probably crazy. But Silverstar would be willing to do it, and Eaglestrike would respect her orders."

He could almost taste Fireblaze's skepticism, and he felt a pang; much of the Clan seemed to doubt Eaglestrike's willingness to follow the weakening leader's commands. He understood their feeings, and even felt it a bit himself, for he had overheard their agreements. Again, he found himself wondering if his father would grab the position of leader if it was offered to him, even if Silverstar was still alive.

"We should talk to him about it," he said, and glanced again at Fireblaze. "Together, I mean. Together we might be able to convince him that it at least has some merit."

Fireblaze only stared back at him for a few moments, and then laughed. "Look at us, with our heads together, crafting stupid plans. Isn't it weird to think how much we hated each other a moon ago, and now we can stand to be in the same den for hours at a time?" He grinned. "It's that sort of thing that makes me think this could be possible – that we could find peace with PeakClan again, if we tried. Because if _we _could become allies, why can't the Clans?"

Spiderpaw didn't smile, but he found himself twitching his whiskers in agreement. "So, you'll help me?"

Fireblaze laughed again, and the nodded. "Yeah. Count me in. I'll help if I can…and I'm sure Blackfeather will too." He smiled slyly, and rather than being irritated, Spiderpaw found the smallest scrap of amusement lurking in his heart.

"I'll talk to her first thing in the morning," he promised, and then yawned as he noticed how the moonlight had changed its slant. It was at least moonhigh now; the shadows were small, but sharp against the pale earth, and he felt drowsiness settle over him.

Fireblaze shifted himself into a more comfortable position, yawning as well. "Might as well rest up then, if we're going to take on the deputy," he said, and closed his eyes. "Night, Spiderpaw."

Spiderpaw hesitated, hardly believing the words were coming out of his mouth, as he mewed, "Night, Fireblaze."

**AN: The delay wasn't as terrible as last time, right? Pandora's been nudging me along.**

**As some of you might remember/know, November is National Novel-Writing Month, so I'll be taking a break. I'm going to work on a past NaNo some more; I've been editing it pretty rigorously for awhile now, and reposted all the old chapters save two (they're kinda a weird case since I did part of them but not all before the other NaNo ended). Anyway, the NaNo I'll be working on is Dragon's Bargain, commonly called DB by me. It will be on my fictionpress (/~prinpardus, same as here), and I hope you guys will keep tabs on it!**

**I'll try to update at least once more before NaNo begins, then it'll be a month-long pause, and then I'll be writing again during December.**

**Blog update in eleven hours or so. Maybe twelve. Gotta sleep and do work. Love you guys!**


	59. C h a p t e r 58

**C**_**hapter **_**58**

"_If it is able paws you seek, then look no further." Cloudpaw's blue eyes were icy as she blinked up at Kestrel. "I did not want to come here. I tried to get them to turn back. I made up warnings, but still they would not listen."_

"_You make up warnings? You mean you faked StarClan's words to you?" Birchpaw sounded incredulous, and Cloudpaw stared her down._

"_I was trying to get the warriors to take us home," she mewed. "I was trying to get them to let us return before it was too late. You led Nightpaw to her death, and I didn't want to turn out the same way. This journey is one of fools, doomed from the beginning…but we're here now, we're trapped. I don't owe you anything. Fogheart brought us out here promising we would set things right, but we've only failed, and I want no part in that." She looked up to Kestrel again. "I am more than willing to join you."_

_Kestrel's grin widened. "Glad to hear it." He nodded to one of the darker cats next to him, and without hesitation, the dark tom sprang down into the cavern. The other warriors tensed, but he only led Cloudpaw away, the two of them disappearing into the darkness._

"_Don't worry about escaping," Kestrel advised the rest of the trapped cats, who looked shell-shocked. "There's only one tunnel out of this cavern, and we guard it. You won't get out until I let you." He gave them another smile. "I hope you enjoy your stay. You'll be coming to terms with us very soon, just as Cloudpaw has already."_

_With that, he turned away, and he and the rest of the mountain cats vanished from view, leaving the fragments of the Clan cats shaking and confused._

Sootpaw opened her eyes with a shiver. For a moment, she was staring sightlessly into blackness; it took her a moment to realize she was staring into Rook's dark pelt. Remembering the shadowy cats from her dream, she shuddered, and sat up.

_Cloudpaw was a deserter, _she thought. _And so when she had that premonition, before Whitecloud was injured…she was just guessing. I guess she only assumed that something bad would happen on the journey…she got lucky. StarClan wasn't with them at all. StarClan wasn't watching over them._

She tilted her head to stare up at the misty sky. _Is StarClan with us, or are we just wandering around aimlessly, like Fogheart's group? There's no way to know if anyone's watching over us all the way out here…and we've certainly had our share of misfortune. Are cats waiting to ambush us too, at the end of our journey?_

She shook her head, feeling weary again, only to stiffen at the familiar feeling of Chillpaw brushing against her mind.

_You need to talk to Bluepaw, _he said. _Now is a good time. _

She glanced at the sleeping medicine apprentice, and frowned. _About my dreams, you mean? I'm sure she'd like the time to have some of her own. _

_You need privacy to speak with her about your dreams, yes? Isn't now the best time for that? You're often followed by Rook or Sage…._

For a moment, she almost wondered if he was jealous. She brushed it off as a silly thing; after all, if he was, it was only because they were living, breathing cats, while he lingered in the Dark Forest.

But that wasn't something she wanted to think about, not then.

_If it will make you happy, fine, _she said, then felt the smallest prickle of nervousness. _It's coming soon, isn't it? Your story, I mean?_

_Soon enough, _he answered.

_And then…the ceremony._

_Yes._

_And you'll be…gone. _

_That is the idea, yes._

Her ears flattened, and his voice became softer. _I apologize. I did not mean to sound curt. But we have spoken of this before. You know most of what is going to happen, and there's nothing we can do now to change it. The ball has been rolling for some time now, building momentum…neither you nor I have the power to stop it or dissuade the others even if we wanted to. It has to happen. There's no other choice._

He sounded as though he was talking to himself as much as he was her, and she sighed quietly.

_Sorry. I'm probably getting on your nerves with all of this, I know. I just…. _She trailed off. As he had said, there was no use in repeating what they both already knew.

_I'll go ahead and wake Bluepaw up, then. I'm not feeling sleepy anyway, and she's a good sport._

_Good idea. Be careful. I'll see you again in a few nights, I expect. _

_You're allowed to visit for fun, you know, _she said, almost shyly. _I don't mind it, and it has to be better than the Dark Forest…._

_I know, _he replied, _but it's not wise. You know that as well as I. Good night._

And with that, he was gone, leaving her more alone than ever. She gave herself a good shake and rose to her paws, moving over to nudge Bluepaw with her nose. It took another few pushes before the medicine apprentice blinked up at her through foggy blue eyes.

"Wah is it," she asked as she yawned, her voice thick with sleep.

"I had another dream," Sootpaw whispered. "A couple, actually…I didn't tell you about them when they happened. I wanted to keep it a secret, I guess, since you told everyone they were yours last time…."

Bluepaw opened her mouth, but the gray apprentice shook her head. "Never mind, that's not important. I just want to tell you about them now, because they've gotten more troubling, and I'm worried about what it means for the journey." She glanced over her shoulder. "It's not really safe to do it here, though, so it would be nice if we could move a little bit away…."

Bluepaw blinked, then nodded. "Yeah, sure," she said. The tone to her voice seemed a bit strange, but Sootpaw was too tired and worried to think much of it; Blight's ghost still seemed to hover over her head, despite Chillpaw's earlier promise of protection.

Without a word, Sootpaw padded away from the makeshift camp, with Bluepaw walking beside her. They were quiet for a short time, and Sootpaw found herself heading towards the sounds of the Thunderpath; anything was better than the eerie silence of the frozen forest, and somehow the lights streaking over the dark path were comforting, like shooting stars.

"The halfmoon is coming soon," Sootpaw said aloud, tilting her head back to gaze up at the waning moon. "I wonder if Shimmerfrost misses you."

"There are very few cats that Shimmerfrost would miss, and I'm not one of them," Bluepaw said, her voice feather-soft. For once, she didn't seem chipper, but Sootpaw guessed it was because she was tired as well.

"So, what about these dreams?" Bluepaw asked as Sootpaw finally came to a stop, still staring out towards the Thunderpath. The gray apprentice tore her gaze away from it, looking to her friend.

"Oh…well, I've had two. Three, really, but the second was interrupted by that storm we had…I finished it tonight." She sat down. "You remember Foxpaw and Birchpaw, right? And Cloudpaw?"

Bluepaw smiled. "I remember. I was kind of like Cloudpaw, right? She had the dreams."

Sootpaw nodded. "Yes. Well, as it turns out, that wasn't exactly the truth…."

She related the dreams to Bluepaw as quickly as she could, as well as her run-in with Carmelo, trying not to miss any detail, but also trying to get the words out swiftly so that the blue-gray medicine cat could put the fear gnawing at her to rest with her usual brand of cheerfulness. Instead, her stomach fluttered with anxiety as Bluepaw's expression darkened. By the time Sootpaw got to Cloudpaw's turning, she was no longer staring at Sootpaw at all, but at some faraway object that was invisible to the young apprentice.

Sootpaw finished with unease, and Bluepaw was silent for several minutes.

"Well?" Sootpaw asked. "Do you have any sort of guess as to what is going to happen? I can't see Carmelo ambushing us, since he seemed to be heading back to Twolegplace, but…there's no real way to know, is there? Bluepaw? Hello?"

The blue-gray apprentice was on her paws, but she still seemed lost, almost like she was sleep-walking. Finally, she turned her eyes to Sootpaw, and Sootpaw was chilled to see them icier than even Shimmerfrost's.

"I'm sorry," the medicine apprentice whispered, and then lunged.

It was too quick for Sootpaw to react; one moment she was staring at her friend, agape, and the next she was on her back with Bluepaw's claws raking down her stomach. She let out a yowl of pain, and without thinking, struck upwards. Despite the fear and confusion that threatened to overwhelm her, she still found herself holding back; this was _Bluepaw, _there had to be some mistake. Bluepaw was her best friend, always happy, always gentle, always ready to help. Bluepaw would never hurt her without reason.

The medicine apprentice landed a few tail-lengths away, wheezing for breath as Sootpaw scrambled to her paws, but regained her composure rapidly.

"What are you doing?" Sootpaw asked, a catch in her voice.

Bluepaw didn't answer; she was throwing herself at Sootpaw again, slashing at her face, her chest, anywhere she could reach. Sootpaw backed away, trying to duck and dodge, but blood streaked her muzzle now, and one ear stung fiercely.

"Please," she started, but Bluepaw only hissed, lashing out again.

Sootpaw took a step backwards, then chanced a glance behind her; they were much closer to the edge of the gorge above the Thunderpath than before. To her horror, she realized that Bluepaw was trying to drive her off of the edge, to her death.

Bluepaw took the opportunity to leap while Sootpaw was distracted, and again Sootpaw found herself on the ground. This time, however, she was on her stomach, one leg twisted painfully beneath her. She struggled, but could not stand or throw Bluepaw off; the medicine cat's grasp was firm. She was half a tail-length from the edge of the cliff now, and her heart thudded in her ears with terror.

Pain lanced through her as Bluepaw bit down, digging her teeth into Sootpaw's neck, dangerously close to her spine. All she was getting was fur, but it soon became clear that hitting anything vital wasn't her goal; slowly but surely, she was tugging Sootpaw towards the edge of the cliff, keeping her pinned with her own weight. Sootpaw's trapped foreleg burned fiercely, but try as she might, shifting her weight did nothing, and thrashing only sent more pain running through her. The edge of the cliff loomed closer and closer, and Sootpaw's breath caught.

_She's going to make it look like an accident…like I just fell, _she realized. _Is this it? Is this what our journey was all leading up to? Is this what the dreams were for all along, a prophecy warning me that my journey was coming to an end, just like those in the past?_

_It can't be that, it can't be…this can't be all there is for me! And Bluepaw…she's my best friend. It can't end, not like this._

They were a whisker's breadth from the edge now, and Sootpaw could feel the medicine apprentice steeling herself, preparing for the push that would send Sootpaw over, straight to StarClan.

"Please," Sootpaw whispered into the earth, her face smashed into the dirt. "Please, Bluepaw. This isn't you, I know it's not. Please."

Bluepaw hesitated then, and the hesitation was telling. Whatever Bluepaw was, it was not a murderer.

For an instant, her grip slackened. It was almost nothing, but it was just enough for Sootpaw to twist out of her grasp, losing a clump of fur in the process. She rolled into Bluepaw, knocking her off her paws and carrying them away from the edge. Bluepaw scrambled for purchase on the dry ground, but before she could rise, Sootpaw was on top of her, bearing down. She raised her paw to slash the blue-gray apprentice, her ears flat against her skull and her fangs bared, but Bluepaw suddenly went slack.

Sootpaw couldn't do it, not anymore than Bluepaw could. Even now with her head beating faster than a fleeing hare and the beginnings of anger curdling her blood, she couldn't land the killing blow. Her paw dropped, but she did not release the traitorous she-cat.

"I'm sorry." Bluepaw's voice was small, smaller than Sootpaw had ever heard, and the apprentice looked as though she was about to cave in on herself, just crumble into dust and be whisked away the breeze. "You just don't understand, I had to try, you were going to figure it out and you were going to tell them and I couldn't let that happen, I _couldn't, _he would be so angry…you just don't understand, _no one _does, except for Shimmerfrost and she's so…."

"Make me understand," Sootpaw said, and she forced herself to pin Bluepaw by the throat, despite the rolling disgust in her stomach. Everything she had been taught seemed to be on its head now; the last thing she had ever imagined herself doing was threatening the future medicine cat of AshClan. "Start from the beginning. You're working with Carmelo, aren't you? That's what those dreams meant. You've been with him all along."

Bluepaw closed her eyes, and a tremor ran through her. "Yes." It was almost inaudible, barely a whisper. "Yes. I…it was moons ago. I was lost, and confused, and frightened…I hate being the medicine apprentice, Sootpaw. I _hate _it. I became the apprentice thinking that I could save cats, like how I couldn't save Bramblethorn…I thought I would share dreams with StarClan and find a place for myself, show that even throwaways like me and Redpaw were worth something…show that I wasn't worthless, that I wasn't just good for getting the best warrior in the Clan killed…." Her voice quivered. "But it was nothing like what I imagined. Silverstar had already lost her kits by then…she was so broken. And I thought I could help but I couldn't, there was nothing any of us could do to put her back together. And then we found out she was so sick, and there was nothing we could do for that either...we were so _powerless._"

"And StarClan never spoke to you, did they?" Sootpaw asked, remembering the bitterness that had entered Bluepaw's voice before. It was all falling into place now: why the prophecy had rhymed and sounded so strange, why she had been so secretive about it, why she had snapped up the opportunity to present Sootpaw's dreams as her own….

"No," Bluepaw said, the words clawing their way out of her throat, "no, they never did. Not even once. They were focused on Shimmerfrost, trying to guide her back onto the right path…they never had time for me. I wasn't good enough for them.

"I wanted out then, but there was nothing I could do. The Clan was depending on us, they looked to us for guidance…Shimmerfrost was so twisted up and Silverstar was broken and sick and then it fell all on me, and I had to try to hold it all together…tried to smile, tried to be happy, tried to make everyone feel like everything was okay, but everything was so, so wrong….And then Forestheart was always there, always cradling Silverstar, and I began thinking about what that would feel like and how I would never be able to know…." Her voice splintered. _Spiderpaw,_

"It wasn't fair!" Bluepaw's voice was suddenly stronger, and her eyes glittered with anger. "It wasn't fair. Not to me, not to Shimmerfrost, not to Silverstar, not to anyone. Why should I be stuck with duties I hated? Why did Silverstar have to lose her four kits? Why did Shimmerfrost have to watch the two cats she cared for most die? None of it was right, Sootpaw, don't you see?" Her voice was edged with desperation.

"But Carmelo promised to make it right, didn't he?"

Bluepaw nodded, her eyes filled with shame. "Yes. I met him in the forest, when I was all alone…trying to get away from everything for a moment or two. And he was so…different. Alluring, warm, caring…he reminded me so much of Bramblethorn. He began to spin this tale, these stories of what he was doing in the city…moving cats out to make room so they could have more prey to eat, moving the queens to where they would be safe and cared for, finding the elderly and keeping them protected too…and training healers. That was the important part. He kept mentioning these healers that he was training, ones that tended to _everyone _and didn't need signs from cold, distant gods, ones that could have mates and kits and _families…._

"I shouldn't have listened, I know, but he was just so…."

"Commanding," Sootpaw said, remembering her encounter with the golden tom.

"Yes. And then he said that he had plans for our Clan too…that he could change us the same way he was changing Twolegplace. He promised to make things _fair. _How could I say no? All I had to do was lie to everyone I ever cared about." She closed her eyes again, but there was no hiding the bitterness dripping from every word. "He told me he knew the cure to the chilling disease, that it was actually common in Twolegplace. They had outbreaks now and then, they knew what to do. It was another thing he was teaching his healers. And he told me the cure, but made me promise not to tell anyone, made me promise that I would do what he said. He told me that I had to get some of the warriors to go away, to sap some of our strength…and to make the Clan think that the cure was something far away that we couldn't find here, so they would stop looking and just wait. I had to make the journey drag on as long as possible in any way that I could, like when I pretended I had twisted my paw. He told me the landmarks we would find on our way, and how to make sure we'd spend at least two moons going there and back…and when we returned, he would already be there. He would have heard about our plight and sent his own cats with the cure, once enough of ours had fallen ill and we were weak. He would become our hero."

"And by that time, Silverstar would have lost at least one more life…and maybe Eaglestrike would be sick too," Sootpaw realized. "We wouldn't have anyone to lead us, and when he appeared with his charisma and magnetism…."

"How could anyone say no to that?" Bluepaw whispered.

"But why's he here? Why now?"

"He knew we wouldn't be back, I guess…and he left the Clan in safe paws."

"Safe paws?"

"He….Sootpaw, I can't tell. Please. He's going to make everything so much better, and no one has to die. He promised that. He would step in before we got too sick."

"And what about PeakClan?" Sootpaw asked, flickering anger rising within her. "What about the cats they had already lost by the time we left? Do you have any idea how many of them might have died already?"

Bluepaw flinched. "We don't owe anything to PeakClan. We—" She choked off with a whimper of pain as Sootpaw applied pressure to her throat.

"Haven't you learned anything on this journey?" she hissed. "Rainwind died trying to protect me. He didn't owe us anything either, but he was still willing to die for a stranger. What happens when Rabbitleap returns home to find the father of her kits is dead? Or when Swanpaw comes back and both her parents are dead? Brackenpaw's already lost one sibling. What if he loses another? And what about Birdpaw, Blackmoon? You were friends with them too, weren't you? How can you just turn your back on so many cats, just because they don't fall under the same Clan name as you?"

She was vibrating with anger, and Bluepaw's eyes were wide with fear.

"I n-never meant for it to get that bad. I never meant for Rainwind to die…I was just supposed to stall, that's all…please, Sootpaw." Her voice was thick. "I was trapped. There was nothing else I could do. I was trapped."

"You could have stuck by your post. You could have told the Clan the truth. You could have given them the cure when they needed it, instead of dragging us out here and costing innocent cats their lives! You could have been strong for just a few more moons until you could resign and become a normal warrior. You could have lived a normal life…but not anymore. We trusted you, and you lied. You lied to all of us, you led us astray, you caused Rainwind's death….And now you've failed in your mission. Carmelo won't want you back now that we know what's going on." She let out a low hiss of disgust. "You were my _friend, _and all this time you were just using me and everyone else. If anything, you're worse than Carmelo. At least he's loyal to those that trust him."

Bluepaw only stared up at her, and Sootpaw thought she could see the medicine cat's heart break in her blue eyes.

"I know." Her voice was edged with pain. "I knew as soon as we started out that it was wrong, but by then…by then it was already too late, somehow. I couldn't turn back. I had nothing to turn back to. I started down this path, Sootpaw, and one way or another…I had to finish it." Her eyes softened. "I'm glad it was you that stopped me. I think you're the only one that could have. You're…you're my best friend, Sootpaw. You t-trusted me no matter what, and I….

"Do it, then," she mewed, her voice ragged. "Kill me. Toss me over the Thunderpath, say it was an accident… or tell everyone what I did. You're right. The Clan won't take me back when they hear, and Carmelo won't want me. I failed everyone. Everyone…."

Sootpaw stared down at her, felt Bluepaw's complete lack of resistance under her paws, her utter despair, and knew that for once the blue-gray cat was telling the truth. Sootpaw could end it all right here, and she would offer no resistance. She could snuff out Bluepaw's light, and no one would be the wiser.

No one but Sootpaw.

She let out a quiet breath then, and took a step back. Bluepaw still didn't move.

"Go," Sootpaw spat. "Get out of here. I'm not going to kill you. That's not the way a warrior behaves, and even if you've turned your back on everything you know, I won't. No matter where I came from, I'm an AshClan cat. And you are not."

"B-but," Bluepaw stammered, still pressed against the ground. "I don't have anywhere to go. No one wants me, no one will take me in…Sootpaw, please…."

"Go." Sootpaw bared her fangs. "I don't want to ever see your face, Bluepaw. Never again. As far as I'm concerned, you _are _dead."

She looked away from the traitor then, and felt a tremor run through her, but she did not relent. Without another word, she walked away from the gorge and fallen she-cat.

"Wait. Wait, Sootpaw, please," Bluepaw's voice broke. "Wait, please, please, don't leave me here. I don't have anyone, Sootpaw. Redpaw won't ever understand what I've done, and Spiderpaw…wait!"

Sootpaw didn't so much as glance back, not even when she heard a few faltering footsteps following her. She only stopped, standing rigid for a few moments, her tail lashing. Her fur was still bristling, a clear warning, and Bluepaw stopped.

"You really mean it don't you?" she asked, and the only image that filled Sootpaw's mind was a tiny Bluekit, crouched over Bramblethorn's body, pleading with him to get up; it carried the same note of hopeless despair, that same ragged edge of a heart being torn. "You're really…oh, Sootpaw. I'm so…I'm so, so sorry. If there was anything I could do to take it back, if there was anything I could do to bring Rainwind back to life and those PeakClan cats and tell StarClan I was sorry and just…I just can't…."

"If we meet again, it will be in the afterlife," Sootpaw said. "You have the rest of your life to make up for what you've done. Nothing more."

Bluepaw was quiet then. "I…I understand. I'll make up for it, I will, I promise. I'll do whatever it takes. I will."

Sootpaw began walking again, and this time no footsteps followed her. Just as she reentered the trees, Bluepaw gave a last shout.

"Chamomile! The petals are chamomile!"

This time, she did not pause.

. . .

No one was awake when she returned, and she found that she was almost glad of it. She took one look at the flattened patch of ferns where Bluepaw had been resting, and collapsed.

All she could see was Bluepaw. Her closest friend, her confidante, her ally against Swanpaw. Her meal-sharing partner. Her source of warmth during the cold leafbare nights. The one cat that had always been there to make her smile. The cat who had helped her and Spiderpaw carry Jaggedclaw's nest, all those moons ago. The cat who had stood by Spiderpaw no matter what, for reasons Sootpaw couldn't fathom. The one who had kept even her spirits up, before she found out whose kin she truly was.

traitor. The she-cat who had turned her back on her friends without them even knowing. The cat who had plotted do slow them down, to draw out the sickness and agonizing deaths of PeakClan cats for a cause that had probably never existed. The cat who had allowed herself to be bewitched by Carmelo's charms, because she felt she had nothing else to turn to. The medicine apprentice who had denounced StarClan after being spurned, and who had sought to take everyone down with her.

Her chest felt impossibly tight, and she fought for every breathe, as she imagined a cat struck by the chilling disease might. She had done it. She had let Bluepaw go. And now she had to tell the Clan who she had really been.

Somehow, she was able to force herself to her paws. Somehow, she was able to stagger over to Reedrush's side. And, somehow, when the silver tabby opened one sharp green eye, she was able to let everything spill out, gushing from her mouth like a river that had been dammed for far, far too long.

. . .

The group was silent. The air was heavy, hanging over them like a swollen cloud. They only stared at their paws, or the sky, not daring to look at each other, not knowing what they would find there. Sootpaw sat alone, shoulders trembling, staring down at the dirt as if it would answer her questions.

She had been surprised when even Thistlethorn had not said anything when Reedrush told them the news. Blatant disbelief had appeared on many faces, but none of them had been able to put their feelings into words, for in the back of their minds they were adding everything up, as Sootpaw had. It made too much sense not to be the truth, and yet, and yet….

For the umpteenth time, Sootpaw felt herself close her eyes and then open them again, hoping that she would see something instead of earth; that she would see blue-gray fur, find her face pressed against a familiar pelt and smelling a familiar scent, that the sun would be shining over their heads, that it would turn out to all have been a dream. Even a nightmare was better than this reality.

It was Nightingale, of all cats, who broke the silence. She pushed Rook, signing something to him, and the dark brown tom spoke for her,

"If we know the last herb is chamomile, should we not head back now? Surely there is chamomile in your territory?"

"There is," Thistlethorn said with a quiet cough. "My mother brings it back to me sometimes when she finds it out in the forest. She likes the petals, and the scent is calming…Shimmerfrost should have some in her store."

"Foxglove seeds, juniper berries, and chamomile," Sage meowed. "That's it, then. The cure."

It was simple, almost laughably so. Three common herbs that had been lurking in their midst all along: that had been the mysterious, mystical cure they had spent so much energy chasing, that Rainwind had died for. Three simple herbs that still seemed almost meaningless even when you put them together.

"She might have been lying." Swanpaw's voice was rough, whether with sleep or with renewed grief for Rainwind and his pointless sacrifice, Sootpaw was not sure.

"She wasn't," Sootpaw meowed, without even realizing that she had spoken.

Swanpaw bristled. "And how do you know? She lied to you for moons, and you never—"

"Swanpaw." Brackenpaw's voice was sharper than it had ever been, and the ginger-and-white she-cat immediately fell silent. "Let's just go home."

Sootpaw dared to look to Reedrush, and saw the indecision reflected in her green eyes. For whatever reason, Reedrush was drawn to the bone-land, wherever it was.

"I don't think she was lying," the silver tabby said. "There was no reason for her to , not now...she had already lost. And if she was truly repenting, she would tell us the truth. But I think we ought to continue. There must have been something planned for us there, and we have to find out what it was. It was the last herb to be given to us, so it must be important. We should continue."

"And go deeper into the unknown? For what? A trap waiting to be sprung?" Thistlethorn demanded. "The closer we get Rabbitleap to her home, the better. It makes no sense to go tramping off into the forest when we have what we came for—"

"If you don't want to come, that's fine. I'm going to the Bonedumps, whether you come along or not." Reedrush's eyes flickered with anger. "I have to."

Thistlethorn's eyes narrowed, but he only shook his head at her foolishness. "Fine. But the rest of us are going back."

"What about the chamomile?" Sootpaw found herself asking, glancing again at Reedrush. "There are a lot of sick cats…Shimmerfrost and Blackmoon might not have enough. PeakClan's territory is sparse…and we owe them this much. If we return now and don't have enough of the herbs…we're already bringing back some juniper berries and foxglove seeds. Why not chamomile too?"

Thistlethorn's tail lashed. "We don't know how far away the…Bonedumps are." He shot Reedrush another look, clearly wondering where she had found the name, but she didn't seem to notice the question.

"Bluepaw wouldn't have mentioned it if it wasn't close. A few days at the most," she meowed. "From what I've heard, it's a dangerous place, so Rabbitleap should stay behind, but Sootpaw makes a good point. We need to collect the chamomile if it's there, just in case."

Thistlethorn let out an irritated huff. "Fine. A few days, at the most."

Rook had been quiet during the discussion, but now he looked from cat to cat with frank disbelief. "Is this really all yer gonna do? Banter 'bout what path to take and what herbs to grab? One of yer own cats _betrayed _you. She placed you all fer a fool and you let her. And now _that _one let her go. Who says Carmelo won't take 'er back? He does whatever 'e wants. She might still be valerble, she knows things. She might go back to yer Clan, even, and say that you're all dead! And yer just sittin' here like a buncha fools, fightin' over scraps!"

Sootpaw's ears flattened at the look of disgust he threw her, but was surprised to see Sage rise to his paws.

"Sootpaw is not to blame. The code of a warrior is a noble one; she couldn't kill Bluepaw, even if it was deserved. And I believe she is right; Carmelo won't want Bluepaw back now that she's failed him. Bluepaw won't dare return to the Clan." His voice grew softer. "I could sense her unrest recently. I think that she was just waiting for something like this to happen. It was eating her alive inside. She won't go back to the Clan, not after that."

Rook looked as if he was about to spring at the white tom, but Nightingale shook her head, giving him another nudge away from Sage. Rook spared him one glare, before giving his head a final shake.

"Whatever. Yer all a buncha fools, but I shoulda realized that the moment you took us in with ya. Well, I'm sick of it. If Bluepaw gets to run off, so do we." He flicked his tail to Nightingale. "C'mon. There's no point in stickin' with them no more. My leg's fine now, and we owe them nothing."

Nightingale's eyes widened with alarm, and she looked between him and Sage, torn. She began to sign something, but Rook cut her off with a low growl.

"You know we don't belong here, not anymore than she did. Let's go. Now."

Without waiting for an answer, he stalked away, his dark fur quickly disappearing into the shadows. Nightingale hesitated for only a moment longer, before her ears flattened against her skull, and she bowed her head. Like a nimble rabbit, she bounced towards Sage and touched his nose gently, before giving Sootpaw a nod. And then, she was gone, vanishing into the forest like a pale ghost, leaving the shattered group behind.

**AN: So she's kinda Gingerpaw 2.0. Basically wanted to try the hidden traitor thing again, and I think it worked fairly well. ;)**

**See you in December. Please don't forget to drop a review whilst you wait, ducklings. **


	60. C h a p t e r 59

**AN: ITRISESFROMTHEDEADLIKEAZOMBI EEEE**

**C**_**hapter **_**59**

Eaglestrie glanced between the three of them with a frown. "So, let me get this straight. You think that we should relinquish our snowberry plant - our temporary advantage over the PeakClan cats - without any sort of struggle, despite them coming to attack us over it earlier?"

"That attack is exactly why we think we should give it back," Blackfeather said quietly. "They were desperate enough then to fight us for it. They have to be even worse off now, without even their old camp to fall back on."

"By giving it back, we might help ease some of the tension between the Clans," Spiderpaw added.

"Don't you think it's a little late for that?" Eaglestrike frowned. "Giving them the plant back won't erase our temporary alliance with the marsh rogues."

"They might actually be willing to listen to us about the rogues if we give the plant back," Fireblaze growled. "Right now, they see us as the enemy too, but if we remind them of our past partnership, things might be different."

Eaglestrike's whiskers twitched. "I must admit, it's heartening to see the three of you getting along so well. And, as an idea, it might have its merits. But you all do realize, it opens us up too. If more cats fall ill, and PeakClan decides to hold onto the berries…."

"We know." Spiderpaw's voice was solemn as he held his father's gaze; it was all he could do not to look towards Jaggedclaw. "That's why this is important. It will show them we still trust them, at least enough to give them something so important."

His father nodded. "Alright. I'll give the idea to Silverstar, and we'll see what she thinks about it." He turned towards the medicine den.

Hastily, Fireblaze blurted, "Can we come?"

"No!" Spiderpaw, Blackfeather, and Eaglestrike all responded at the same time. The deputy glanced at the two of them, puzzled, and Spiderpaw's ears flattened; he didn't want his father to know that he and Blackfeather were already aware of Silverstar's condition.

"No," Eaglestrike said again, more evenly this time. "She's probably tired, and I don't want to overwhelm her with visitors. You three can just wait here. I'll be back with her reply."

With that, he disappeared into the gaping maw of the den.

Spiderpaw sat down, curling his tail around his paws, and the other two copied him.

"You two are feeling better today, right?" Blackfeather asked. "Do you think you'll be training again soon?" She gave him a meaningful glance and Spiderpaw realized she meant training with Blizzardpaw in addition to his regular duties. He hadn't thought about the white apprentice in some time, considering everything else that had happened.

"Yeah," he said breezily, not wanting Fireblaze to be suspicious. "I might ask Petalcloud if I can go out today, and train a bit."

Blackfeather smiled, then looked to Fireblaze, who nodded.

"If Shimmerfrost gives me the all clear, I'll start patrolling again tomorrow," he meowed. "I hate being cooped up in that stupid den all the time. I don't know how she or Silverstar stand it. I think I'd go mad."

_Maybe they have, just a little bit, _Spiderpaw thought with a wince, remembering Shimmerfrost's raw display from the night before.

The three of them turned towards the medicine den as Eaglestrike emerged; he gave them a quick nod, before heading to the BranchPile. With a yowl, he called the Clan together.

"You all know that things with PeakClan have been tense, as of late," the deputy said, addressing the cats below him. "They are against us at the moment, because of the rogues and their own dire straits. We still need PeakClan as allies, and because they are Clan cats like ourselves, we feel their suffering as if it was our own, or we should. Because of this, Silverstar and I have decided to give back the snowberry plant, at least for the time being."

Spiderpaw was a bit rankled at first that Eaglestrike hadn't given them credit, but as objections began to break out, he felt a bit relieved.

"We can't just _give _it to them, now without a fight!" Stormshadow rumbled. "We defended it before, and we can do so again. They don't deserve it, not any more than we do, and they are weak allies."

Petalcloud, who was sitting beside her old friend, seemed a bit worried by his outburst, but she nodded. "PeakClan is certainly suffering, but there are those of us who are to." Spiderpaw thought he saw the calico give the gray tom a gentle nudge. "I don't think we should be so hasty in handing over something so valuable. I'm sure they are suffering terribly, but from what we've seen, the snowberry plant only delays the suffering. It can't banish it."

"Whether we like it or not, we're bound to the PeakClan cats," Ravenwing said quietly. "We have to help them, even if it is not most advantageous for us. StarClan is watching us, and they will be angry if we spurn PeakClan, even if they are not as tightly bound to the warrior code as we are."

Some of the grumblers died down at the thought of their warrior ancestors, and grudgingly the Clan nodded.

"If they set one paw out of line, though, we take it back," Stormshadow meowed. "We can only tolerate them for so long before we have to start looking out for ourselves."

Eaglestrike nodded. "Yes. Silverstar said that if PeakClan continues to act towards us with hostility, we will consider reclaiming the plant. Now, there's no point in wasting time. We should send a patrol to deliver the plant to PeakClan's camp as quickly as possible. I will head it."

"Spiderpaw and I should come," Blackfeather mewed, surprising Spiderpaw with her directness. "We were the ones who fought with PeakClan over the plant before. It will mean more if we're there to give it away."

Eaglestrike's whiskers twitched, and he turned towards the medicine den; Shimmerfrost stood in the entrance, surveying Spiderpaw with her icy gaze. His pelt crawled, and a multitude of thoughts flew through his mind – had she known she was being watched that night? Had she somehow scented him and Leopardpaw afterwards, or seen their tracks? – but he tried not to betray himself. Finally, she nodded.

"I think Spiderpaw is well enough to make it over there and back, provided you don't rush him," she decided.

Spiderpaw looked to Fireblaze, wondering if the ginger tom would volunteer, but he shook his head. "You two can have your fun. I'll stay in camp."

"I'd like to come as well," Petalcloud said, followed by a nervous Darkstorm, who was in turn trailed by an overly-eager Robinpaw.

"That's enough," Eaglestrike meowed. "Thank you all. We should leave soon; the earth will be warmest while the sun is high, and getting the snowberry plant out of the ground will be difficult." He sprang down from the BranchPile, and nodded to the volunteers. "If you're all ready, we can go now."

Spiderpaw's stomach rumbled faintly, but he nodded anyway, already buzzing with excitement and a touch of trepidation. There was plenty that could go wrong – PeakClan might be offended rather than grateful, the plant might be impossible to retrieve, they could encounter a patrol before being able to explain what they were doing – but he still felt hopeful.

None of the others voiced any sort of complaint, so Eaglestrike led their small patrol out of camp and into the forest.

Spiderpaw felt his pelt prickle as they neared where the snowberry plant resided, remembering PeakClan's attack from before. He glanced towards Blackfeather, and she gave him a small smile. Almost immediately, his thudding heart was quieted. Blackfeather had been at his side them, and she had fought with all the courage of a true warrior, and he was confident that she would do so again, if necessary.

Tearing his gaze away from her, he craned his neck back to look at Robinpaw and Darkstorm. Because Spiderpaw was limping as well, Robinpaw was only barely behind him. He was a bit surprised that Darkstorm was at her side, considering the apprehension the dark tom seemed to feel around her. He still looked nervous, his golden eyes darting from side to side rapidly, but Spiderpaw couldn't be sure if it was because of Robinpaw, or the risk they were taking in meeting with PeakClan.

The snowberry plant came into view, looking impossibly frail; only a single clump of berries remained, and Spiderpaw's ears flattened as he thought of Jaggedclaw. Jaggedclaw had never asked for the doses he had been promised in the agreement with PeakClan, and now he had missed that chance.

_Just let him hold out until Sootpaw and Reedrush come home, _Spiderpaw prayed. _Reedrush will give him the strength he needs to beat it. I know it._

Eaglestrike circled the plant a few times, surveying it, before grabbing a few of the leaves in his jaws. Spiderpaw was a bit surprised; he couldn't remember the leaves having any specific importance.

"Shimmerfrost wants to experiment with them," Eaglestrike explained, "and this is our last opportunity to gather them ourselves." He set the leaves to the side. "We'll come back for them later. Petalcloud, Darkstorm, help me dig."

The three warriors set to work while the others watched, scraping their paws against the hard ground. It was not yet frozen – that would come later, as the cold moons grew even stronger and more deadly – but it was still difficult work.

_I guess we should be glad there hasn't been much rain, _he mused. _That would have frozen over night and made it impossible to get out._

"Careful, now," Eaglestrike instructed, as the plant became more loose. Gradually, they eased it free of the earth's clutches. Dirt still clung to most of the roots, and some of the smaller ones had been severed, but overall the plant was still in good condition. The deputy bent down to gingerly grasp the plant in his jaws, signaling for the others to follow as he headed for PeakClan.

Blackfeather drifted to Spiderpaw's side as the group moved towards the border.

"You remember when we fought the PeakClan toms, right?" she whispered to him.

"Of course."

"You remember the bird I showed you? The one that—"

"Sings first in the morning. Yes, yes, I remember." Spiderpaw blinked at her, feeling puzzled. "What about it?"

"It's…it's probably nothing…but he – well, I don't know if it's a he, but I kind of think of it as one – has been quiet lately. The past two mornings, he hasn't sung at all." Her eyes were dark with worry. "I'm afraid something's happened to him. I haven't gone looking very far away from the tree…afraid of what I'll find, I guess…." She sighed.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he offered, and gratitude glimmered in her eyes.

"Would you really?" she asked, and he nodded.

"Of course. I know it means a lot to you, and—" His voice broke off as she licked his muzzle, sending fire through his veins. His fur grew hot, and he cast his eyes down towards his paws. Behind him, he thought he heard Robinpaw snicker.

. . .

They crossed the river with caution – Spiderpaw's paw ached as he hopped over the rocks, but he pushed the pain away, not wanting to slow the group down – and continued into the territory, ears pricked, ready for any sort of danger.

The danger didn't greet them until they were in the heart of PeakClan's territory. Petalcloud – who was at the head of the patrol – paused abruptly, scenting the air. The rest of the patrol halted with her, and Spiderpaw was just tilting his head to sniff the air when something plowed into him from behind.

He twisted around instinctively before he hit the ground, so that his hind paws struck his attacker's belly. He only saw ginger fur in front of his face, but the scent of sickness washed over him, threatening to choke him.

He battered his attacker with his forepaws, feeling sharp bones rolling underneath the attacker's fur.

Then, the PeakClan cat was dragged off of him, yowling with indignation as Blackfeather pinned him to the ground. Spiderpaw scrambled to his feet, and blinked; his opponent was none other than Shrewpaw, Swanpaw's brother. The tom seemed just as small as when he had first been made an apprentice, and Spiderpaw could see every rib underneath his pelt.

Turning his head, he saw that the patrol had captured another PeakClan cat, although this one was not putting up much of a struggle underneath Darkstorm and Petalcloud. Rather, he seemed to be trying to speak, but the combination of their weight and the stutter that tugged at his words made him impossible to hear.

"Off, off," Eaglestrike ordered, setting the snowberry plant to the side. "Mousestep?"

The dusty golden tom managed to sit up as Darkstorm backed off. He was visibly trembling from nose to tail.

"S-s-sorry," he choked out. "S-shrewpaw is a b-bit headst-trong, is all." He gave the apprentice a glance. "We m-mean no harm."

It was almost pitiful, Spiderpaw thought, the way the PeakClan warrior was apologizing to intruders, to cats that were the current enemy of his Clan. Mousestep was also thin, and Spiderpaw could now see he was not only shaking from fear, but the cold.

"W-w-w—" Mousestep began, but Eaglestrike cut him off, rather than listen to the younger tom struggle through another sentence.

"We're here to meet with Stonestar," he said, then motioned towards the drooping snowberry plant. "We've brought him this, as a token of peace."

Mousestep's eyes widened, and for a moment he only ogled the plant as if it was a mountain of fresh-kill. "O-oh. Wel-l-l I don't t-think Stonest-st-star would mind too much if we ended the p-patrol a little early to bring you to c-a-amp if that's the ca-case."

_These two count as a patrol? _Spiderpaw thought with disbelief, and he saw that Blackfeather was clearly thinking the same thing. Shrewpaw had stopped struggling underneath of her, clearly lacking the energy.

"That would be fine," Eaglestrike said, reining in his own surprise.

Petalcloud and Blackfeather released their captives, and the two PeakClan cats gathered themselves, before the dusty golden warrior flicked his tail, striding into the brush with the apprentice on his heels.

"Are you alright?" Blackfeather asked, looking at Spiderpaw with concern. He nodded, although his paw ached more than ever thanks to the ginger apprentice's tackle.

"I'm fine. Just wasn't ready," he growled.

Blackfeather's whiskers twitched, and she was quickly fighting an inner battle between worry and amusement.

_I probably looked ridiculous, wrestling with that bag of bones so helplessly. _His ears flattened, but oddly enough didn't feel as irritated as he would if it was Fireblaze or Leopardpaw looking at him with such mixed emotions.

The scent of sickness grew stronger as they neared PeakClan's camp, and Spiderpaw's pelt prickled uncomfortably. It took him a minute to figure out why; it was too quiet, too still. The camp was supposed to be a place of life, the center for a Clan, and yet PeakClan's was almost silent.

As it came into view, he was disheartened to see that there was not a single cat in the main area of the camp. Movement flickered in the entrances of a few dens, but there were no cats eating, nor were there any sharing tongues. It made the camp appear barren, almost hollow, and Spiderpaw shivered. The smell of sickness was far stronger, naturally, and it cast a pallor over the entire area, a dark cloud hovering over their heads.

Eyes glimmered in the dens as Mousestep and Shrewpaw entered camp with the patrol behind them, but still no cats rose to challenge them. Shrewpaw broke away from the group, padding into the medicine den. Mousestep stopped, and cast a nervous glance towards the AshClan cats.

"W-w-wait," he instructed, before trotting towards what Spiderpaw presumed was the leader's den.

Shrewpaw and Mousestep re-emerged at almost the exact same time, with Northstar and Stonestar behind them, respectively.

Spiderpaw could only stare at the gray leader. He looked _old. _There were silver streaks on his muzzle, dullness in his eyes, a sag to his shoulders, and yet it was more than that. There was a defeated air to him; he looked like a cat that was crumbling from the inside out.

Northstar was faring no better, albeit in a different way. His thick fur was standing up in all directions, and his golden eyes were glowing with fevered mania that unnerved Spiderpaw just as much as Stonestar's broken expression had. It seemed he hadn't slept in some time; Spiderpaw guessed he was looking out for his mate as she struggled to recover from the rogues' attack on her patrol.

"What are you doing here?" the deputy hissed, before his shining eyes found the snowberry plant. His claws were already unsheathed, and he seemed to be hovering between lunging at them and turning away to go back to his mate.

Stonestar didn't bother to quiet him, or ask Eaglestrike himself, merely watching the patrol with weary eyes.

"We brought you the plant as a peace offering," Eaglestrike answered, sitting it down gingerly.

"A peace offering?" Northstar snarled. "Do you think one plant – a plant that _I _brought here in the first place – is enough to make up for you siding with those flea-bitten mongrels?"

"We only wish to show you that we bear you no ill will," Eaglestrike replied, his voice calm. "We know you are suffering, and there is little we can do to help, but this is at least an attempt."

Northstar snorted, and Stonestar only looked down at the plant as if he expected it to walk away. An awkward silence fell over the group, before the gray leader finally nodded.

"Thank you," he said in a rasping, low voice. "We will take good care of it, and take your actions into consideration." He nodded to Northstar. "You can go."

Northstar's gleaming eyes darted between Stonestar and the AshClan cats, but he finally turned away with a low hiss, retreating back into the medicine den. Stonestar watched him go with glassy eyes, before nodding to the AshClan cats.

"Please, leave our camp," he said, before flicking his tail to Mousestep, probably to give him instructions on where to put the snowberry plant.

Eaglestrike hesitated a moment longer, before nodding, leading the patrol away.

"That was anti-climatic," Blackfeather murmured to Spiderpaw as they headed back towards the river.

"You're telling me," he growled. "I don't think Stonestar even noticed the two of us, or what that was supposed to mean. I'm starting to wish I had just stayed home."

"Is your paw aching?" Blackfeather asked anxiously. "We can go back to camp instead of checking out the nest, if you want—"

He shook his head. "No, no. I'm fine," he lied, despite the throbbing.

Blackfeather gave him a relieved smile. "Good, good. I'm glad you came." She nuzzled his ear, and his face burned underneath his fur again.

He tried being careful as they crossed the river again, but it was difficult with the rocks being so slippery. However, his own troubles were nothing compared to Robinpaw's, with her limp. He heard her let out a squeak when they were nearly halfway across, and turned to find Darkstorm holding the scruff of her neck, pulling her back onto the rock that she had nearly slipped off of. Robinpaw gave Spiderpaw a bashful smile, and excitedly thanked Darkstorm.

Spiderpaw couldn't help but smile to himself at the torn expression on the dark tom's face; he seemed pleased by his tiny heroic act, but at the same time, still uncomfortable with Robinpaw and her bubbly personality. Still, he was improving after the tongue-lashing that Petalcloud had given him before. Glancing back towards the calico, Spiderpaw purred quietly, as her own expression made it clear she had noticed.

When they reached the other side, Spiderpaw moved up to stand beside Petalcloud.

"Hey," he whispered to her, "Blackfeather and I are going to…hunt a bit, since I'm feeling better. Is that okay? I'm sure you wanted to train, but—"

Petalcloud surprised him by nodding with a small smile. "Yes, yes, Spiderpaw, it's fine. I'm not going to object to you and Blackfeather spending time with each other. Just hurry and disappear, before your father notics. I'm sure he wants you close to home." She winked at him, and Spiderpaw murmured a thank-you before giving Blackfeather a nod. The two of them split off from the group, quickly disappearing into the forest before Eaglestrike had the chance to even turn around.

Spiderpaw didn't remember the path to the bird's nest, but of course Blackfeather did. She led him with confidence, a spring in her step, although he doubted she had any idea how beautiful she appeared with her head held high and her golden eyes twinkling with a touch of pride.

He tore his gaze away from her and shook his head, trying to brush away such strange thoughts, keeping his ears pricked and his mouth open to catch any signs of Blackfeather's bird instead.

He was able to recognize the tree as they grew nearer; Blackfeather paused underneath of it to crane her neck back and look up into the branches; he did the same, but could see nothing of interest, beyond the nest. Blackfeather's bird clearly wasn't there, but Spiderpaw figured birds had something better to do than sit around all day anyway.

"I haven't seen him for awhile," Blackfeather said with a sigh. "I hope he's okay."

"I'm sure birds move nests from time to time, don't they?" he asked, trying to ease her worry. "He might have just found a better place to sleep, is all. Maybe you should be happy for him. Or it."

Blackfeather nodded, but she still looked tense. "Can we look around a little bit? I've been too scared to go very far, just in case I found him and he was…you know."

Spiderpaw nodded. "Sure, I don't mind. I'll look over here, and you can look over there?"

Blackfeather flashed him a grateful smile before darting into the brush to sniff around; Spiderpaw went the other way, tasting the air as he drifted away from the tree.

There wasn't much to scent, considering that it was leaf-bare and most prey was in hiding. Spiderpaw poked around a little bit – sniffed a few more trees, nosed over a mossy rock – but was going to give up when he caught something wafting from underneath a bush. It was faint and stale, but undeniably the scent of rogues.

Foreboding prickled against his spine, and with a sinking feeling, he moved closer to the bush. Some of the leaves had been disturbed; it look as though they had been hastily thrown underneath a few of the bush's brittle bottom branches, breaking some of them in the process.

Spiderpaw reached out with one paw, pushing away some of the leaves, and then drew back with a frown. It was unmistakably the remains of a bird, although there was barely anything left. It seemed to have been out for a few days, judging by the weak scent of the rogues that had caught it and presumably eaten it.

He sighed quietly, getting ready to call for Blackfeather, only to hear the softest, "Oh," behind him. He turned to find her staring down at the crumpled bones and feathers, her golden eyes round with sadness.

"Blackfeather, it might not even be—" he began, sweeping the leaves back over the body, but Blackfeather cut him off with a shake of her head.

"It's him, I'm pretty sure," the black she-cat mewed, her voice quiet, almost inaudible. "Oh, I had really hoped he was okay…."

Spiderpaw moved to press his pelt against hers. "Just bad luck, that's all," he said, uncertain of how to comfort her. The bird had been Blackfeather's secret, her own private joy that she had only offered to share with him. No matter how silly it might seem to be attached to a creature that was meant to be eaten, he could sympathize, if not emphasize.

"There will be other birds in the morning," he went on. "Another bird will be the first now. That's just how it is, Blackfeather."

"I hope he didn't have a family," she mewed, sweeping aside the leaves he had pushed back. "Do birds even have families, like we do?"

"I don't know." Spiderpaw's pelt prickled uncomfortably as he stared down at the corpse. "Maybe."

"Do you…do you think we could do something for him?"

"Like what? You mean like a vigil?"

"No, no, not like that…we don't really have the time, and I don't want anyone to worry…never mind. It was a stupid idea." She scuffed one paw against the dirt, ears flattened.

"It wasn't stupid," Spiderpaw replied, and as she gave him a hopeful look, he found himself saying, "I think we should do something for him too. We can bury him, at least. Maybe say something. I mean, he _was _the first bird in the forest to wake up in the morning. That has to count for something."

Something odd glimmered in Blackfeather's eyes, but she looked away again before he could guess what it might be. "Thanks, Spiderpaw. That sounds perfect."

It wasn't easy to dig into the partially-frozen dirt, but the two of them managed, even though Spiderpaw could only use one of his paws to scoop away the earth. He moved the body into the hole – Blackfeather couldn't bring herself to do it – and together they buried the little bird.

"Uh." Spiderpaw stared at the little mound they had created. He looked to Blackfeather, but her golden eyes were misty and clouded; it seems a eulogy would be up to him. "Here lies the first bird of the morning," he began uncertainly, keeping his eyes on her to make sure he didn't misstep, "the first bird to sing each and every dawn, up until his untimely demise. Unfortunately, we don't know much about this bird. We don't know if he – if it was even a he – had any family or, uh, bird friends. We don't know what he liked to eat, or what his favorite bird-activities were. But we do know that he liked the mornings. We know he was the proverbial early bird that gets the worm – if he ate those, I mean. And we know that he cared enough about the forest to want to sing to it every day, to wake it up even during the cold moons." His eyes slid away from Blackfeather as he spoke, up towards the nest that had belonged to the fallen creature. _Will another bird claim it, like Maggot wants to claim our home? Or will it be abandoned until no bird can remember anyone once lived there, like the marsh?_

He realized that Blackfeather was waiting for him to finish up, and meowed, "He was loyal to his home, and to his song, and to the mornings, and he shall be missed."

He was surprised when she leaned against him again, resting her head on his shoulder – when had he gotten big enough for her to do that? – but didn't pull away, even when her quiet, low purrs send electric currents running through his fur.

"That was really beautiful," she murmured. "A perfect sendoff for him, I think. It's nice to know that even with everything that's been happening, there are still a few cats I can count on no matter what. Despite your whole venomous-as-an-adder thing, Spiderpaw, you're really sweet, and that means a lot to me."

Heat rose underneath his fur. "I don't know what you're talking about," he blustered. "I'm venomous through-and-through."

Blackfather laughed, and nuzzled his shoulder. "No one can be _all _venom."

_No, _Spiderpaw mused, as his thoughts drifted to Leopardpaw and what they had heard the night before. _I guess they can't. _

. . .

He was bone-weary by the time they returned to camp, but he couldn't limp back to the nursery – or the apprentice den, rather; if he was strong enough to tramp over to PeakClan's territory and back, it stood to reason that he could handle sleeping in the other den – and collapse, at least not right away. He wanted to talk to Leopardpaw first.

She was sharing prey with Fireblaze when they entered camp, but luckily as Spiderpaw headed towards her, Fireblaze rose to go, having finished his meal. He shot Spiderpaw a glance as they passed one another, and the black apprentice wondered if he was thinking about what Spiderpaw had said before – about the possibility of Leopardpaw being a traitor. Fireblaze's expression gave nothing away, and the apprentice dismissed the thought as he sat down in front of Leopardpaw.

She regarded him coolly. "What's brought me this honor?"

"Always have to start out with something like that, don't you?" Spiderpaw asked, rolling his eyes. "I could just be here to say hello, you know."

"After what we heard, that doesn't seem likely." Her sharp green eyes were sizing him up, trying to figure out what he was there for. "Let me guess. You want to reiterate how important keeping Shimmerfrost and Silverstar's secrets are? You don't want the rest of the Clan to know what the higher-ups are squirrelling away, and you think I'm a blabbermouth?"

"Always so pessimistic," he chided. "I know you're not going to say anything. I wouldn't have asked you to if I thought you'd talk, it would have been useless."

Her eyes narrowed. "So what do you _want?_"

His own drifted down to his paws. "Well. I've just been thinking about…things for the past few days. Mostly about older stuff, and my sister. And you." He fidgeted. "I never thanked you for saving her. And me, I guess. If you hadn't gotten her, I would have gone in too trying to save her. And we both know how that would have worked out. But I guess I've kinda…resented you for it. You were able to help her when I wasn't. You saved her when I couldn't, and it was my fault that she had gone off alone in the first place. I was too focused on what I wanted to do to think about her, until it was almost too late…and I hated you for stepping in when you did, for taking my job. I'm her brother, I'm supposed to protect her, but I couldn't…and now she's off who-knows-where doing who-knows-what, and if she gets into trouble out there, I can't help her any more than I could have when we were kits. But none of that is your fault, really, so I just wanted to say…thank you, for helping us."

He glanced up at her when he finished babbling, wondering what her reaction would be, only to see that her expression still hadn't changed. She was still eying him as if she was trying to figure him out, and he silently hoped she wouldn't. He meant his apology, and his thanks, because she deserved them, but there were things he wanted to know, too. Blackfeather had said that not every cat could be venomous through-and-through, and she was right; even if Leopardpaw was some sort of traitor, it was possible there was some scrap of her that was still loyal to the Clan, or at least a select few Clanmates. He just had to know for sure.

Then, Leopardpaw let out a low, silky purr. "That's awfully sweet of you, Spiderpaw. A little out of the blue, though. This doesn't have anything to do with a certain suspicious that I might be a traitor, now does it?" Her voice went from feathery-soft to razor-sharp in seconds, and her eyes lost their temporary amused gleam.

Spiderpaw backpedaled. "I wasn't going to call you a traitor—"

"Oh, _really?_" Leopardpaw hissed. "That's not what Fireblaze told me. He seemed to think you had quite a theory about my lacking loyalty to the Clan. He seemed to think it was funny, but guess what, Spiderpaw? I don't."

"You have to admit, it was pretty coincidental for you to show up just when the deputy's kits needed help—" he began, and Leopardpaw's face twisted in a snarl.

"So he was right? This apology was just a set-up so you could interrogate me?" She rose to her paw, pelt bristling. "If you're going to challenge my loyalty, maybe you should take a long, hard look at yourself and this Clan, and figure out why I wouldn't _want _to be part of it." With that, she turned away, stalking into the forest.

Spiderpaw's ears flattened, and his fur prickled with embarrassment as he felt the eyes of the Clan upon him. Without a word, he turned and retreated into the apprentice den, curling up in the darkness where no one could stare.

**AN: Chilled was hard to get back into. Like hella hard. Everything felt like poo. Bluh. Anyway, I think I might start to saw "screw it" and just make the Sooty chapters hella long, just 'cause she has so much more to do. We'll seeeee.**

**Blog update in a bit?**

**Also I think we've breached 400k SIGH.**

**And my three-year-anniversary was the 30th! Hard to believe that like half of that was Chilled. Pretty crazy if you think about it that way. Jesus.**


	61. C h a p t e r 60

**AN: Surprise!**

**C**_**hapter **_**60**

"_Are you alright?" he asked as soon as he fully emerged from the mist. Sootpaw's ears flattened, and she shook her head._

"_How could I be alright?" she asked. "My best friend turned out to be a traitor, and Rook and Nightingale deserted us when we needed them."_

"_It's understandable, isn't it? They were probably afraid for their own safety, after Bluepaw's treachery was revealed. No one suspected her, not even you; it seems impossible that you could ensure nothing else like that would happen again. Rook is the protective sort, is he not?"_

_Sootpaw sighed. "I know. I know it makes sense for them to leave – they weren't really part of our group in the first place, they just came along because they had nowhere else to go – but I still thought…I thought we were friends too. But now I don't have any friends, it seems."_

"_You have your brother."_

_She winced as his green eyes entered her mind. "I can't even look at him without thinking about Blight. I know I should tell him everything I've found out, but…I'm not ready. Not yet. And I can't be his friend if I'm lying to him the entire time. I don't want to be like Bluepaw." She blinked then, remembering Chillpaw's gentle urging earlier. "You knew, didn't you? What she was up to? What was going to happen?"_

"_Telling the future is not our place in the Dark Forest. You know that," he said, but was clearly dodging the question. Her eyes narrowed, and he finally nodded. "Yes. I knew. But I couldn't tell you. It would have influenced your actions, and I couldn't have that. Not if the ceremony is to work properly. You had to spare Bluepaw without interference. If I had told you ahead of time, you might have decided that she was less of a threat to you and the others dead."_

_Sootpaw wanted to object, but part of her was afraid he was right. It was true that she hadn't killed Bluepaw, but she had wanted to. She had been filled with fury like she'd never felt before, and Bluepaw had been powerless underneath of her paws…Sootpaw had gotten larger in the past few moons, and her sparring with Reedrush had made her stronger as well. She could be a decent fighter, if she put her mind to it. She could be like Fireblaze or Leopardpaw, using force to get what she wanted._

_She shook her head, blocking out the dark, tempting thoughts. "I wouldn't have believed you anyway. It had to come from Bluepaw's mouth, and even now, part of me doesn't believe she could really do such a thing…I just don't understand _how _she could do it. She explained the why, but _how _could she turn her back on the Clan like that? How could she be so disloyal to everyone she knew, everyone she cared about? How could she break the code?"_

"_Perhaps it was her loyalty that was the problem," he replied. She blinked, puzzled, and he went on, "Bluepaw found herself trapped in a position she did not want. She watched as Silverstar collapsed from the inside, and Shimmerfrost rebelled against the stars, breaking the warrior code. Bluepaw wanted to do the same - she cared deeply for your brother, did she not? – but her conscience wouldn't let her. The Clan was depending on her, and she felt as though she couldn't let them down."_

"_But she did. She broke the warrior code and she betrayed the entire Clan in the process!"_

"_But does she see it that way?" he pressed. "Carmelo came to her with soothing words and an offer perfect for her faltering spirit. If she had been disloyal, she would have wanted the Clan crushed…but he told her he would make it better, stronger, more powerful than ever before, so long as it was in his capable paws. Medicine cats would have more power – she could pursue Spiderpaw then, if she wished, and it would be perfectly within her right to do so. No one was supposed to die; she only had to stall – such a simple, bloodless task – long enough for Carmelo to swoop in when the Clan was desperate. Everything she loved about the Clan would be preserved, and everything she detested would be swept aside. And, in the end, I think she proved her loyalty to one cat, if not to the Clan."_

_She stared at him, not understanding, and he gave her the smallest of smiles. "She couldn't kill you. If she was disloyal to the Clan, if she was willing to turn her back on them, killing you should have been easy. But she did not. She could not."_

"_Are you saying what she did was okay? That I should have let her off with a warning, and invited her right back to claw us in the back again?" Sootpaw hissed, surprised by the anger that was rising within her once more._

_Chillpaw met her fire with his usual icy stare. "No. Of course she was wrong. I am only saying that there are a few shades of gray in every story, and hers is no different. You cannot think of her as a blackened soul, for that is not what she is at all. Just lost. But that is not what I wanted to talk with you about tonight."_

_Her fur flattened. "Your story, you mean. Since I passed the last test, or whatever, by sparing her. It's your turn."_

_He dipped his head, and she frowned. "I already know it, though, or most of it."_

"_You knew most of Blight's too, but he was still allowed to tell his tale," Chillpaw reminded her, before flicking his ear as his forest appeared around them. "Follow me."_

_She knew where they were going immediately, and a prickle of fear ran down her spine when the still pool appeared before them. She remembered the shadowy ghost of Lion rising out of it, and shuddered. Sootpaw didn't think Chillpaw had anything like that planned, but of course it was impossible to tell for certain._

_Chillpaw sat down on the edge of the pool, waiting for her before he tapped the glassy surface with one white paw. An image shivered to life underneath his touch; a silver face with bright green eyes that sparkled with madness._

His mother, _Sootpaw thought, although she could not recall the she-cat's name. The image shifted so that they could view it from the outside; Sootpaw watched Chillpaw's mother wrangle a tiny silver kit in her paws, holding the kit down so she could rasp her tongue down it's spine. The kit protested with a squeal, and Sootpaw caught the flash of blue eyes: it was Shimmerfrost, as a kit._

_Off to the side sat a white kit – Chillpaw, or whatever he had gone by then – watching the proceedings with a detached expression. His icy eyes made Sootpaw shiver involuntarily._

"_Even as a kit, I was different," he said, his voice as soft as the rustle of fallen leaves. "Shimmer enjoyed playing. I did not. She liked exploring and finding beautiful things – feathers, ferns, berries – to look at. I did not. She followed our mother like a shadow, always trying to draw her into a game. I did not. I found no pleasure in such things. I was merely an observer. Shimmer was the main character in our story, or so I thought."_

_There was the slightest blurring around both Shimmer and Chillpaw's mother, although it was not much. That made sense, Sootpaw supposed; he had only known them for a short time, after all, and their relationship with him had never been as fierce as Lion's._

"_Back then, I did not truly understand the concept of balance," he continued. "I could see it, on occasion; the way a leaf tipped forwards under the wind's power, the way a bug fell off of a rock when it leaned forwards too far. But what it truly meant –the push and the pull of life, the system it upheld – was beyond me, until things changed."_

_The image shifted; it was dark, the middle of the night. Chillpaw's mother was wide awake, her eyes glowing eerily in the gloom of their den. They darted too and fro, until she finally reached over to snatch one of the kits at her belly, and bolted into the darkness._

"_Mere chance," Chillpaw murmured, "mere happenstance dictated that I was the one who went with her, and Shimmer was the one who stayed. Or that was what I thought. But the world does not work by chance, Sootpaw. What I did not know was that at that moment – or a moment close to it – Lion was losing his own kits, and his mate. And I would be given to him as a replacement."_

_Sootpaw watched the journey of Chillpaw's mother – her fevered scramble up the mountain, her racing through the twists and turns of the tunnel, her escape into the forest – with wide eyes. All the while, young Chillpaw swung in her jaws without a protest or even a sound, his eyes as cold as the mountain air. _

"_My mother was taken from me by a badger." Sootpaw silently thanked him for not showing her those memories. "I was orphaned. But then I was found, by a wandering patrol, and brought into camp. They took me to Lion, and he accepted me as his son."_

_The image shifted again to a mountain den, and a tiny Chillpaw swallowed up by Lion's girth as the golden tom wrapped around him. Lion was boldly, unmistakably blurred; the iciness of Chillpaw's sharp mind hung around him, but it was dampened by the weight of his emotions. Sootpaw recognized that the tom before her – with his shining fur, molten eyes, and powerful shoulders – was not the real Lion, but Chillpaw's image of him, just as how anything she tried to show in the pool would not be the real thing, but rather how she saw it. It reminded her again just how fiercely Chillpaw – Chillpaw, of all cats! – had cared for the old rogue._

"_Lion was deluded, shattered by grief. He clung to me as the son he had lost, and I went along with it. He named me Chill, never knowing that my first name had been Ice. And with my prompting, he hunted down the badger that had slain my mother, never knowing that he was righting the balance in the world." The image changed to a different Lion, whose fur was torn and matted with his own blood. Despite his injuries, the golden tom's eyes burned with triumph as he touched his son's nose with his own. _

"_Lion was not a violent creature by nature." _

_Sootpaw glanced towards him, surprised. "You don't think he was violent, after all that he did?"_

_Chillpaw shook his head. "You did not know him as I did. He would tell me stories sometimes, at dusk, when I was supposed to be falling asleep." The pool's surface shifted to display one such instance, and Sootpaw's eyes were ensnared by a young Chillpaw lying with his head against his father's stomach, listening to Lion's gentle rumbles. Chillpaw didn't seem to have noticed the change at all, distracted by the memories. "He would tell me of the cats he used to lead, his own family. He only ever fought one of them, a cat named Tiger, and it was because Tiger had threatened Clover – his mate. Lion had been a gentle cat, before FrozenClan took away his family…before Fadedstar pushed him into fighting the mountain Clan, or leaving the forest. Losing Clover and his kits is what changed him. It filled him with a boundless, terrifying rage that consumed him entirely. He was powerless to stop it."_

_Chillpaw's eyes almost grew misty. "He had moments of clarity, I think." Again, the image changed to show Lion on the sharp cliffs of ShellClan's territory, facing down the sea without fear, not knowing that he was being watched. "Sometimes he was aware of what he was becoming. Once, he promised me that when everything was over, we could live together, just the two of us, without having to harm anyone else. But that was never really an option for him. He had to right the balance that had been disrupted in his life. He had to avenge those he had lost._

"_The balance is the key, Sootpaw. I know you don't believe in it, but it exists. There is a push and a pull to the way that everything moves. Everything has some sort of purpose. There are signs, hints that we are given, and we have to follow them to whatever ends necessary to keep the balance in check." His gaze was distant. "My mother took one kit, and left one behind. She died, and her killer was in turn destroyed. Lion lost his kits, and found me. He lost his family, and they had to be avenged."_

"_So he went after Silverstar," Sootpaw meowed, "and the rest of the Clans, to destroy them just as they had his family."_

_Chillpaw nodded. "Yes. He took two of Silverstar's lives before he was killed. And then I, in turn, avenged him and was killed. I ended the cycle, or so I thought. But it turns out there is more work to be done, more tasks that Lion left to me. I did not see it at the time, but I see it now, and that is why I must go back." He glanced at her, taking in her confused expression._

"_That's why you want to come back to life?" she asked. "To continue with some crazy revenge scheme? But you won't remember any of it."_

"_If I came back the way it was meant to be done – with only you to help me, not those other cats – then yes. I would have no memory of it at all. You and I would go through the Pool together, and the Pool would take a part of you and use that to wipe out my memories, while changing me in the process, however subtly. But that is not how it is going to happen, because of the ceremony we are going to perform." He tilted his head to the side. "I have not been entirely truthful with you, Sootpaw. We will remember more than you think. I cannot say how much, for I do not truly know, but…I believe some things – the most important things – will remain."_

_A tiny spark of hope blossomed in Sootpaw's chest. If Chillpaw remembered something, anything at all, then didn't that leave even the smallest possibility that they could…?_

_Then, her ears lowered as she thought of the implications of his words. "And you think that you'll remember whatever mission you've come up with? You intend to take your revenge on the Clan even further?"_

"_There is nothing for you to worry about." His voice was low, and soothing. "You only need to trust me, Sootpaw."_

"_And the others? They'll remember some things too?"_

"_They will, if the ceremony goes right. But don't you think that might be for the best? That they might remember some of the things _you've _taught them? Whether you like it or not, you have influenced a few of them. Swiftshade. Shrew. Even Nettlefrost, perhaps."_

"_But what about the others? What about Blight?" Her stomach rolled. "He won't change at all, and he'll still remember…."_

"_If all goes well, there is a good chance that I will be there to stop him before he ever rises to power again." Chillpaw's voice was firm. "I will promise you that, if you like." His eyes softened slightly as they met hers. "I did not tell you these things to make you worry. I only did not want to lie to you further. Not tonight, when it is so close. You should not think of only the negative consequences that might transpire. There are positive ones, too. Don't you think there is a higher chance of Swiftshade doing better in the next life, because he remembered how you helped him?"_

_She stared into his blue eyes – like the sky on a clear day, like the purest water imaginable – and allowed her fears to subside, thinking instead of other possibilities, of him looking up at her and remembering who she was, what she had told him, the games they had played together…._

_Heat flashed underneath her fur, and she looked away. "I understand. I trust you, Chillpaw. It might be crazy, but I do."_

"_And I am honored to have that trust." His voice was softer than ever, and she thought she detected the faintest note of sorrow in it, before she was distracted again by the pool's swirling surface._

"_I was not finished," he meowed, flicking his tail. "Look closely."_

_The images flashed over the pool rapidly: Lion and Chillpaw in the forest together; Lion showing Chillpaw how to stalk his prey how to mark their borders, how to fight; Lion leaving and leading his warriors away, not knowing that Chillpaw was following; the battle that ensued; Lion's fall – here the images seemed to strain against themselves, seconds away from splintering as if Chillpaw was overwhelmed. He collected himself, and the flurry continued: Chillpaw watching the Clan; Silverstar accepting him in and giving him his new name; Chillpaw training alongside his leader, never letting on his dark plans; Chillpaw clawing the badger that had attacked Bluekit and Redkit, while Brackenthorn's body laid motionless; Chillpaw in his warrior ceremony, bracing himself before leaping at Silverstar, going for her throat. And then, darkness._

_Sootpaw let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, only to frown as the images continued. She glanced up at him, puzzled – wasn't his story over, with his death? – but quickly looked back down, not wanting to miss anything._

_What she saw there surprised her. _

_The first image was of her, looking terrified and confused, lost in the darkness. Then, her solemn face as she promised to help the Dark Forest cats, so that she too could become a hero. Her, listening to Swiftshade tell his story. Her, staring up at the snow falling down around her with a dazzled expression. Her, looking frightened and angry after hearing Brightstar's lies, and then again looking sympathetic as the truth came out. Her, gleeful at the idea of playing Fox and Rabbit. Her, shocked and horrified after Shrew's revelations. Her, rigid and surprised by Swiftshade moving to touch his nose to her shoulder as thanks for conjuring up some of his old memories. Her, trying to comfort him after finding him trying to create his vision of Lion. Her, looking impossibly broken and confused after Blight told her the truth. Her, with the smallest bit of hope shining through the storm clouds in her eyes as she leaned against him once he made it snow again._

_Every image was different, but there was one thing they all held in common._

_In every single one, she was beautifully, impossibly, lovingly blurred._

_The cat that she saw looked like her, and yet was completely different. This cat's size was a gift, suiting her well, making her look powerful rather than as unwieldy as Sootpaw felt. This she-cat's golden eyes gleamed like molten gold, rather than wilting petals. This she-cat had a vulnerability about her, a sort of sweetness that Sootpaw was almost certain she didn't really hold. This she-cat was beautiful. And that was how he saw her, somehow. Beautiful._

_Warmth flooded her then, and she blinked up at him. He didn't say a word, but he didn't have to, and when she licked his muzzle, he didn't move away. He paused, then briefly, hesitantly, awkwardly returned it, the ice in his eyes wavering as he looked down on her. She rested her head against his shoulder, letting out a low, thrumming purr, and he pressed his nose between her ears, drinking her in._

_She wasn't sure how long the two of them stayed like that, simply feeling the other's warmth, but she was the first to pull away._

"_This is the last dream, isn't it?" she asked. "The last time, before the ceremony takes place. All the stories have been told, all the promises made. It's over."_

"_It is," he agreed, and there was some dark note in his voice that she didn't understand._

"_Then I have something for you," she mewed, "something I made. A surprise. Close your eyes, won't you?"_

_He did so, and she did the same, concentrating with all her might on the images she wanted to create. She drew from what she had heard and what she had seen, what she had felt and what she had smelled, and gradually – ever so gradually – wove them together like a silken spider web._

_When she opened her eyes, she gave everything a quick look-over, making sure it was all right, exactly the way she wanted it. Then, gently, she nuzzled Chillpaw's shoulder. "Open your eyes."_

_He did so, and spoke not a word as he took in what she had created. His eyes traced over the dream she had woven for him – the still lake wreathed by reeds, the forest bathed in moonlight, the twinkling stars above their heads, the mountains in the distance, the impossible rain that fell even though there were no clouds to hold it. He tilted his head backwards so that the rain would hit his nose, but it vanished before making contact; Sootpaw had thought he wouldn't like becoming wet, even if it was only in a dream._

"_So?" she asked, a touch breathless. "Do you like it? Is it right? I wanted to bring in the things you remembered – like the lake where you grew up – while also having some of the things you would get to have again…like AshClan's forest. I think there's a good chance that you'll end up in the Clan again, don't you?"_

_He was still staring up at the sky, and she followed his gaze towards the light-studded blanket over their heads._

"_You said before that sometimes things were too overwhelming for you, that there were too many details to take in…how a part of you liked the dark. So I thought night would work best, but I still wanted you to have the stars. To give you hope." She smiled at him, but his expression was still unreadable._

_Slowly, a cloud came over the sky, hiding the stars from view. Her ears lowered, and she watched him more anxiously, afraid that she had gone too far._

_Then, he smiled. "It's perfect," he said, looking to her again, "all except two things."_

_She glanced up at the cloud. "Okay. The stars were one, I guess. What was the other?"_

_She received her answer as a rain droplet struck her nose. Then another hit her ear. Then another and another, as the rain thrummed down upon them, drenching them both within minutes. Chillpaw's white fur was flattened against his body, but he was laughing – actually laughing, albeit quietly – as the water poured into his mouth._

"_I missed it," he meowed over the din of the water striking the earth, the leaves, the lake. "I missed the taste and the feeling of it. I missed being able to quench my thirst. I've missed being _alive, _Sootpaw." His eyes rested on her. "There are some beautiful things in the world, I think."_

_He reached down to lick her muzzle, without any hesitation this time, and she pressed herself against him, somehow not minding the way every hair on his pelt was wet and cold. She pushed her nose into his shoulder, breathing in his scent mixed with that of the rain, and above their heads she opened up a rift in the clouds, just enough to let the moonlight stream down on them._

"_You have to remember," she whispered into his fur. "You have to remember this dream, every speck of it, okay? Because I just know that if you can remember it, then you can remember _me, _and everything will be okay, and we can be…." She trailed off as her voice became a squeak, as emotion choked her, and she felt his breath tickle her ear._

"_I will remember," he whispered to her. "I promise. I will always, always remember this."_

_And that in itself was enough to give her hope, for if Chillpaw had changed so much just through their dreams – if the closed-off, frozen tom she had first known had thawed into this – then it seemed impossible for him to cause anyone harm in the next life, no matter how much he remembered._

Things will be okay, _she found herself thinking, as his tongue caressed her ear. _It's all going to be okay.

. . .

The morning came too soon. She held it off for as long as she could, but it eventually won out; the sunlight pricked her eyelids, forcing them open despite her struggles, and he was gone. But he wasn't _gone. _She could still feel him in the back of her mind, waiting for her to fall asleep again. Waiting for the ceremony that would give him new life, and the two of them a new opportunity. Together.

She smiled to herself and sat up, only for her ears to lower as she noticed Bluepaw's absence. For the past moon, the two of them had slept snuggled up together, and now she was gone. Instead, she had slept next to Sage, but it seemed that he was gone now as well, probably to hunt.

A few of the others were gone as well; in fact, the only cats that had been left behind were her, Rabbitleap, and Swanpaw. She looked at the two PeakClan cats, wondering if she should wake them up, but decided that she wouldn't – Rabbitleap needed her rest, and she didn't exactly enjoy Swanpaw's company, nor did she want her muzzle clawed off.

There was a rustle behind her, and she turned, half-expecting it to be Rook. Instead, her brother – it felt strange to think of him as such, but he was, at least by blood – blinked back at her with a smile, a scrawny mouse in his jaws.

"Good morning, Sootpaw," he meowed. His voice was soft, gentle, as if he wanted to handle her carefully; she assumed he was concerned for her, considering how close she and Bluepaw had been.

_He doesn't have to worry, _she thought, and her mind drifted to Chillpaw again, sending a flood of warmth through her. She simply didn't have room in her heart to think about Bluepaw, not at that moment.

_Is this the way Mother feels about Father? _she wondered, then winced. Ravenwing undoubtedly loved Eaglestrike, but Ravenwing wasn't her mother, not by blood.

_But she's the one who raised me…and like Chillpaw said before, that has more of a bearing on who you become than anything else. He talked about his ideas of balance before he met Lion…but it was Lion who solidified them for him. It was Lion who sought revenge for his family to right his own balance, and Chillpaw took that philosophy from him. Lion was Chillpaw's father, just as much as Ravenwing is my mother._

She realized that Sage was staring at her, and she twitched her ears with embarrassment. "Sorry. I was just thinking."

"I understand," he replied, dropping the mouse at her paws. "It must be hard for you. I know you and Bluepaw were very close."

"Yeah," she mumbled, the warmth flickering for only a moment. "We were. But she chose her path, and I've chosen mine." She wondered if he had eaten yet, but as soon as the thought left her mind, the white tom's stomach rumbled. He didn't say anything, intending for her to eat it despite his own hunger, and that made her smile. Sage was a good cat too, despite his parentage.

_I have to tell him, _she thought, looking into his calm green eyes. _I have to tell him what I know. What he thinks of me then is up to him, but I can't hide it. He doesn't deserve being lied to._

"Do you mind if we share this somewhere else?" she asked. "Just to get, er, a little space away from the group."

He seemed surprised, but dipped his head. "If you like," he meowed, bending to pick up the mouse again. She trotted out of the clearing they had spent the night in, and he followed.

She walked until she was certain that no one in camp would be able to hear them, finally stopping in front of an old fallen log that was covered with moss turned brown by leaf-bare's chill. She swept a few of the dried leaves scattered over the earth aside, and lied down, waiting for Sage to do the same.

The white tom blinked at her patiently. "Do you want to talk about Bluepaw?"

"No. Something else. Something much more important." She hesitated, and was surprised to find nervousness prickling through her pelt. She honestly liked Sage; he was calm, gentle, and kind for the most part, and she didn't want to throw him off, or scare away her last remaining friend on this journey.

"Recently, I've…found out some things," she began, trying to figure out how to phrase everything correctly. "I can't tell you how, you just have to trust me. Even if it sounds crazy, what I'm going to tell you is true."

Sage looked bemused, but he nodded, waiting for her to go on. And she did. Haltingly at first, she began outlining Blight's past, watching Sage carefully as she spoke, just in case she miss-stepped. His confusion turned into irritation as she described Blight's rise to power, and his mission given to him by Slaughter to explore new territory for TalonClan.

"I know all of this," he said, his voice edged with something akin to anger. "Do you think you need to lecture me about my family? I know my father was a monster. I know he harmed many innocent cats, including my mother. I know he was a beast who deserved a much slower death than the one he received. What are you telling me this for?"

Sootpaw faltered. "I just…you just have to trust me, okay? It's important."

His green eyes were hard – his father was a clear sore spot – but he gave her a grudging nod, and she continued, doing her best to skim over Belladonna's horrible treatment at his father's paws. She spoke of how Blight led some of TalonClan's cats under Lion, how he had split Lion's forces in order to attack the Clans from two sides. She spoke of his death, and the panic it sparked in his pet, the panic that led her to deliver her kits early. And she murmured of the three kits, not two, that had been born just outside the battlefield.

She had Sage's rapt attention now, as he tried to figure out what her angle was.

"Minnow mentioned a third kit to us, but…I thought the kit died." He stared at her, and Sootpaw thought she caught some inkling of understanding in his eyes, but she couldn't be sure. She plunged on, continuing with Minnow discovering the kits, and weighing her options. She described Minnow picking one of them – almost by chance, such as how Chillpaw had been picked over his sister – and whisked it away to the Peak, where another she-cat had just begun kitting….

He cut her off there. "I understand, Sootpaw. You don't have to say anything else."

She was almost afraid to look back at him, but when she did, she found his eyes to be as kind and calm as ever, despite his solemn expression. "How long have you known?"

"Not very long," she mumbled. "Not very long at all."

"I can't imagine what that would be like, finding out your parentage and having Bluepaw leave so suddenly." He touched her flank with his tail. "I have known all my life; it becomes something you simply accept, because in the end it almost doesn't matter. Tremor and Minnow and Swift are my family, just as the cats that raised you are yours."

She nodded. "I know. Blight and Belladonna were dead before I - before we – had even opened our eyes. We didn't know them. I know that Eaglestrike and Ravenwing and Spiderpaw love me…but I'm afraid of having to tell them." She looked down at her paws – one dark, one white. "I know I should feel like nothing's really changed, but at the same time, everything's different."

"It's only different if you make it so. There will be a period of difficulty for you, in the beginning, when the cats you love learn your secret. I experienced the same thing with the cats that Tremor now leads; they were mistrustful at first, withdrawn. But I proved myself to them over time, and Feather's faith in me was enough to let them give me a chance. Your Clan has known you all your life. You've already earned their respect, and even if that seems to disappear for a short time, it will return again, once you show them that you're still the cat they remember."

"Am I, though? So much has happened on this journey already, so much has changed, and we haven't even finished it yet. I won't be _exactly _the same as I was. Who's to say I haven't changed, maybe even for the worst?"

"_I _can tell you that you haven't changed for the worst." He smiled. "You're a very strong cat, Sootpaw, and I think this journey has made you even stronger, though you don't realize it."

"How do you _do _it?" she asked. "You've had to put up with this your entire life. My brother had to deal with far less, and he's ill-tempered almost all the time, as much as I love him. Yet you're just so relaxed and kind all the time…I don't understand it."

Sage let out a low, amused purr. "I'm not all that relaxed, truly. Honestly most of the time I am on edge, because things can change so quickly, as the past few days have demonstrated. I had a temper problem as a kit too; I would throw fits, try to wreck everything in my path that didn't move out of the way. But Tremor sat me down, and explained to me that if I was to be his son – not Blight's – then I had to act a certain way. I couldn't let anger or mistrust rule me, the way Blight had. I had to be a guiding force, rather than a destructive one, if I wanted to prove myself to anyone. It took quite a bit of time, but he was always there for me. Tremor was never one to be afraid to tell me when I had done something wrong, and over time I learned to harness my anger and keep a calm exterior, no matter how furious I was on the inside." He shrugged. "Your brother could probably learn to do the same, with the right help. Perhaps he already has."

Sootpaw remembered how filled with rage she had been when she had learned of Bluepaw's betrayal, how she had only just barely been able to contain herself. Perhaps that was something that ran in the family.

"The mouse is going to freeze, if you don't eat it," he reminded her, and she looked down to the little forlorn creature again.

_I hope everyone back home is getting enough to eat, _she mused, before nosing the mouse back over to him. "You can have the first bite. Brother." Her eyes twinkled at him as she tried out the word; somehow it tasted completely different when she said it to him, compared to Spiderpaw.

He blinked at her for a moment, before touching her nose with his own. "I think we'll all be glad to have you as part of our family, sister."

She purred, and the two of them tucked into the mouse, the struggles of the journey and the uncertainty still before them forgotten as they focused on a single moment of kinship.

**AN: Aah. Don't you love the taste of pairings becoming canon?**


	62. C h a p t e r 61

**C**_**hapter **_**61**

He woke up to his paw throbbing; not only had he slept on it awkwardly, with it tucked underneath his body, but the night before he had been woken up by Blizzardpaw, who had asked him to come and watch him train with Blackfeather. Spiderpaw hadn't intervened in the training himself – merely given some tips here and there – but the walk to and back had still tired him out, especially considering the tromping to PeakClan's territory, and then the hunt for Blackfeather's bird.

_Might have overexerted myself a bit, _he admitted, rolling onto his side to free up his injured paw. _Petalcloud will probably badger me about training, but I think I should take the day off, as much as I hate to fall behind. _He wrinkled his nose; at least he would no longer have Redpaw to pester him about failing as an apprentice.

His eyes fell to the tom's empty nest. With Redpaw gone, Jaypaw ill, Fireblaze a warrior, Sootpaw on the journey, and Leopardpaw often vanishing into the night, their den was emptying quickly. Soon Blizzardpaw would be a warrior, and it would be just him and Robinpaw snuggling up for warmth.

_Maybe Blackfeather could sleep in here, _he thought, then rolled his eyes. As nice as it would be to have another cat heating up the den, she had earned the right to sleep with the warriors. _Probably wouldn't want to spend her nights with a bunch of little apprentices anyway. _

For some reason that bothered him, and he rose up with a grumble, not wanting to spend his entire morning moping in the den.

_I guess I should see Shimmerfrost and make sure I haven't crippled myself forever, or something, _he thought as he exited the den, only to pause and look towards the elders den, searching for Jaggedclaw. The older tom wasn't in the entrance, but he was probably just sleeping.

_I'll check on him when I'm done, _he decided, limping towards the medicine den.

He paused outside, remembering Silverstar's pregnancy; Shimmerfrost would probably go ballistic if he entered without announcing himself first, and saw something he shouldn't.

He cleared his throat, then called for the medicine cat. "Shimmerfrost?"

"Scoot!" he heard the silver tabby hiss; the were sounds within the den, and she emerged a moment later, blue eyes flashing. "What do you want?"

Wordlessly, he held out his paw. She frowned down at him, before she threw a glance over her shoulder. Satisfied with whatever she had seen there, she beckoned him inside.

He tried looking at everything but Silverstar when he entered, but somehow she ensnared him anyway. She seemed to be asleep, with Forestheart almost entirely curled around her. His eyes flitted to her stomach – it was larger now, larger than it ought to be, and he was one of the few cats who knew why – before Shimmerfrost's low hiss redirected his attention back to her.

"Give me your paw," she snapped. He held it out, and she glanced it over for a moment, before giving it a sharp prod. He winced, and she frowned. "It's sore, then?"

He nodded, and she examined it a moment longer, before a bout of coughing made her turn around. Spiderpaw looked past her, brow furrowing with concern; the source of the coughing was Jaypaw. The apprentice looked abysmal; he was thin, so thin that his ribs were easily visible, and shivering in his nest as he wheezed for breath.

For the first time, Spiderpaw wondered if Jaypaw would survive. It had never really bothered him before; it had been easy to dismiss his cousin, since he was always in the medicine den. It had been easy to forget how serious the sickness was, since it was so weak within their camp. Robinpaw's cheerfulness had never wavered, even with her brother ill, and Spiderpaw had always simply assumed that the patrol would be back soon, soon enough to save the young tom. But now, that seemed less certain.

Shimmerfrost's attention was still focused on Jaypaw; she passed him some leaves to chew, and Spiderpaw thought he caught the slimmest sliver of concern in her eyes. Despite everything, there was still the smallest part of her that cared for her patients, a part that only unveiled itself here, in her territory, her haven.

Shimmerfrost realized he was staring as she glanced back at him, and she hissed again. "Just rest your paw, it'll be fine. Rub it in frost for a bit to ease the ache, if you need to. Get out."

He hurried to comply, grateful to escape Jaypaw's wheezing and Silverstar's quiet coughs. He fled without another look back, taking in a large breath of clean camp air as he emerged from the den.

A shiver ran down his spine as he saw Jaypaw again, almost skeletal in his tiny nest, but he pushed it away. Jaypaw would be fine. Sootpaw and the others would get back with time to spare, and everything would be alright.

His head turned as he caught a flash of ginger fur; it was Fireblaze, accompanied by Leopardpaw, heading into the forest together. Fireblaze gave Spiderpaw a nod, but Leopardpaw didn't even spare him a glance; he could see the tension crackling in her green gaze, and he winced. He had mishandled things the day before, that much was clear; she hadn't let him get a real word in before she had disappeared in a huff.

_I shouldn't have confronted her about it at all, _he thought, ears flattening. _Or told Fireblaze, I guess…I shouldn't have talked to him about it at all, that was stupid. Of course he was going to tell her. He cares for her an awful lot. If someone was making up theories about Blackfeather being a traitor, I would have told her. _He scowled, but couldn't summon up much anger towards the ginger tom. Fireblaze hadn't taken his ideas as seriously as he had liked; he had probably just shared them with Leopardpaw as a bit of a joke, a nod towards Spiderpaw's paranoia, not knowing she would take them as seriously as she had.

_Because she has something to hide. _He licked his chest. _Her temper is usually better controlled than it was yesterday. It takes a lot to get underneath her fur. But that was enough to fire her up…because it struck something in her. There's a lot she hasn't told us._

His eyes narrowed with determination; he would get to the bottom of the entire Leopardpaw story, and he would do so soon. He had to _know, _to be sure that she wasn't a threat to the Clan. That was all they needed right now.

Tearing himself away from his thoughts, he trudged towards Jaggedclaw's den, picking up a vole on the way.

"Jaggedclaw?" he asked, nearing the den, his voice muffled by the prey in his jaws. He dropped the vole and poked his head in. "Jaggedclaw? Are you—"

He was interrupted by an eruption of coughs; the older tom was turned so that his back was to the entrance, but even so he couldn't muffle the spasms wracking his body. Spiderpaw's eyes widened with alarm and took a step forward, but Jaggedclaw let out a warning growl in between wheezes.

"Stay back," the elder rumbled, and the apprentice paused.

_Has he really gotten this bad? _he wondered, and an icy sliver of fear entered his heart. "Jaggedclaw?"

The older tom rolled over, and Spiderpaw could see his eye was clouded with fever. "Go away, Spiderpaw."

"You're really sick," Spiderpaw meowed, and the fear slipped into his voice. "I didn't know it was so serious. Come on, Jaggedclaw. We need to get you some help."

"I'm fine." Jaggedclaw's eye closed, and he drew in a rattling breath.

"You're not okay!" Spiderpaw came dangerously close to shouting, and he forced himself to lower his voice before continuing, "We have to talk to Shimmerfrost. You don't have the excuse of not wanting to take herbs you don't deserve. You're an asset to the Clan. You've helped me a lot, and you can help other cats…and the snowberry plant's gone. We can't go and get more berries from it now without looking like hypocrites. There's hardly anything left for you to take."

Jaggedclaw didn't respond, and Spiderpaw felt a prickle of desperation run through him. "Come on, Jaggedclaw. You can't just give up. What about Reedrush? What about when she comes home?"

"I can hang on long enough for that."

Spiderpaw's ears were pinned against his head. "Don't. I'm not going to let you do this, understand? I'm not. I'm not going to let you sit here and be selfish, because you're important to the Clan. You're important to Reedrush, and you're important to me. I'm going to get Shimmerfrost."

He turned to go, then waited, thinking the older tom would object again, but Jaggedclaw said nothing. Spiderpaw darted into the medicine den as quickly as he could.

"What is it?" Shimmerfrost half-snarled as he invaded her den again, but her anger subsided as she saw his expression. "What's wrong?"

"Jaggedclaw's really sick," Spiderpaw meowed, ignoring the growing throbbing in his paw. "He's been sick for awhile, but he wouldn't let me tell, and…he's worse."

Shimmerfrost blinked, and again her icy mask slipped, but she regained it with ease. She brushed past him, padding into the elders den. He hovered in her den's entrance, unsure if there was anything he could do. Jaggedclaw's vole laid off to the side, forgotten and forlorn.

"Get over here!" Shimmerfrost barked from inside the den. "And get Stormshadow too. We need to move him."

Spiderpaw was struck by another pang of fear, but he obliged, racing into the warriors den to fetch the gray tom and hurrying to Jaggedclaw's side.

"Stormshadow, get underneath of him," Shimmerfrost ordered, bending to grap Jaggedclaw's scruff. Spiderpaw hesitated, before wiggling under the older tom too, wanting to do whatever he could.

Together, the three of them carried Jaggedclaw into the medicine den. He did not protest, but that only solidified Spiderpaw's fears.

They placed him in an empty nest – one too small for his girth, but that couldn't be helped.

"What's going on?" came Silverstar's sleepy voice, but she was ignored as Spiderpaw and Stormshadow watched Shimmerfrost work. She looked Jaggedclaw over from nose to tail, pressed against his chest, listened to his breathing. And when she looked to Spiderpaw again, coming out of her thoughts, he knew she would only confirm what he had already realized.

"The chilling disease," she murmured. "He's in the feverish stage. It's going to get worse. Pretty soon he'll be thrashing all over the place." She glanced towards Forestheart. "You'll have to help me when that happens, so he doesn't hurt himself."

"Can't we do something for him?" Spiderpaw whispered. "Can't we help him?"

"We don't have the supplies now," Shimmerfrost meowed. "The doses have already been distributed to the cats going to take them."

_Jaypaw gave his to Silverstar, didn't he? _Spiderpaw wondered, looking towards the leader. _She can't have taken them all yet, maybe she could…._But he knew even before the thought ended that it wasn't possible. Silverstar was the leader of their Clan, she had kits in her belly; there was no way Jaggedclaw could come first.

"We have to get the berries, then," he said, panic rising inside of him. "We have to go to PeakClan and ask them for just a few more—"

"We can't, now that you've gone and given them away." Shimmerfrost's voice lacked the harsh edge he had expected; it was crisp, matter-of-fact. For once, she wasn't taking pleasure in being the bearer of bad news. "We just have to wait for the journeying cats to get back home."

_And pray they return in time. _She didn't say that aloud, but he knew she was thinking it. They all were.

Spiderpaw turned to look at Jaggedclaw, lying stiller than he ever had, and then Jaypaw, trembling with cold, and then Silverstar, who even with her growing belly seemed to be swallowed up by Forestheart. And, for a moment, he felt his faith waver, as he tried to imagine what good their ancestors thought could possibly come from something like this.

. . .

Blackfeather knew something was wrong as soon as she saw him slumped on the edge of camp, the uneaten vole lying between his paws like a dark omen. Her golden eyes glistened with concern as she approached, but he barely saw her, lost in his own thoughts.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice gentle. He tried to answer, but couldn't, not through the lump building in his throat. She lied down beside him, pressing her pelt against his.

"What's wrong?" she asked again, gentler still, but that only made it worse. This time it was he who leaned on her shoulder, burying his face in her fur as a tremor ran through him.

"It's Jaggedclaw," came Stormshadow's rumble; Spiderpaw looked up to find the gray tom staring down at them. His voice lacked his usual distaste for Spiderpaw; rather, he seemed tired. "He's very ill. There isn't much to be done but wait."

Blackfeather's eyes widened. "Oh, no. Spiderpaw, I'm so sorry."

He still couldn't say anything. All he could think of was another dismal funeral, with him and Blackfeather as the only visitors. Another eulogy given to a grave far larger than the bird's. But Jaggedclaw wasn't just a bird. He was a cat, a cat with a story, a cat with a past, a cat with a tale that no one might ever know, because he had bottled it up inside himself, buried it too deeply for anyone, even the cat that meant the most to him, to unearth.

"The patrol will be back soon enough," was all Stormshadow said before he moved on.

"We have to do something," Blackfeather whispered as his gray form receded. "We can't just sit here and let him…." _Die. _"We have to tell Eaglestrike. We have to get the berries from PeakClan, to help him hold out until everyone gets back. We can take them from PeakClan if we have to – I mean, they aren't even that good as allies right now anyway, and…."

"My father wouldn't do it." Spiderpaw found his voice. "Not for Jaggedclaw. He wouldn't risk it. Jaggedclaw's wounded and withdrawn and can't hunt or fight…he wouldn't do it for anyone, short of Silverstar. He wouldn't risk PeakClan turning on us. If they sided with the Twolegplace cats somehow, there's no telling what they could spill to Carmelo and Maggot, what they could reveal. They know our ways, when we patrol, how we fight…everything."

Blackfeather's face was tight with worry. "We have to do _something. _We can steal them ourselves, maybe."

"It's too dangerous. They'll be in the heart of PeakClan's territory…they'll probably have a guard posted. They won't let the berries out of their sight."

"Spiderpaw…." Her voice was low. "You aren't saying we should just let this happen, are you? Let him suffer like that, after all he's done for the Clan? For you?"

"What else are we supposed to do?" It came out more sharply than he had intended, and Blackfeather flinched. "Even if we brought the berries, he wouldn't take them. He's adamant about that…and I'm not strong enough to force him." _Not while I listen to Silverstar and Jaypaw cough and suffer, too._

"There's nothing we can do." He hated the words even as they edged out of his throat. "We just have to wait and hope and pray the journeying cats come back in time." _That Reedrush comes back in time to watch him go._

"I'm sorry, Spiderpaw," Blackfeather meowed, and he could hear the pain in her voice as she nuzzled his ear. "It'll be okay, though. I promise."

He didn't believe her, not for a second. But he loved her for trying.

Word spread quickly through the camp, and the air hanging over the Clan seemed to become heavier, darker. Cats eyed the medicine den with unease, waiting for someone to come them out and tell them things would be alright, that Shimmerfrost had things under control – that she had somehow managed a miracle, that she had found the magical herbs to make everything okay again – but of course nothing came, nothing but silence. Spiderpaw remained close to Blackfeather, silently thanking StarClan that Fireblaze and Leopardpaw had left when they did.

When Blackfeather began grooming him, he didn't ask her to stop. He closed his eyes instead, letting her run her tongue through his fur with gentle ease, imagining that it wasn't icy leaf-bare that shrouded them, that there was not a deathly pallor over the camp, but that it was newleaf, wherein there was no such thing as sickness. In newleaf, there would be a new morning bird. Silverstar's kits would be born vibrant and strong. The sick cats would be cured and healthy again. Prey would be abundant. PeakClan would be recuperating, the marsh cats would be growing more secure in their territory, and the Twolegplace cats would have all the prey they needed again. Everything would be perfect.

But no matter how much he thought or prayed, part of him wondered if newleaf would ever come.

. . .

"Your father's outside," Blackfeather murmured some time later, pausing in her grooming. Spiderpaw opened his eyes to see Eaglestrike hovering near the medicine den, whispering something to Ravenwing, whose green eyes were dark. "I think he's creating a statement for the Clan…something to make them feel better.

"He'll wait until Fireblaze and Leopardpaw are back before he gives it, I think," she went on, "so he doesn't have to explain it again later."

Spiderpaw didn't care. He didn't want to hear his father pretend Jaggedclaw wasn't that ill, that he was only a little under the weather but would recover soon. It was his father's job to reassure the Clan, he knew, but he had seen Jaggedclaw wheezing for breath, had smelled the sickness oozing off of him. "Under the weather" wouldn't cut it.

He felt dizzy. He felt trapped. He felt as though there was nothing he wanted more than to race out of camp and leave everything behind, to try and distract himself with something else, but nothing waited for him out in the forest either. The prey was in hiding, the herbs were dead, and he couldn't patrol their borders by himself.

Then, there was a rustle near the entrance of camp. He turned his head, expecting Fireblaze's bright pelt and Leopardpaw's mocking eyes.

What he was not expecting was the bloody lump of fur that fell through the two logs, the lump that was barely recognizable as Leopardpaw.

Immediately he was on his paws, moving towards her; she only opened one green eye – the other was swollen shut – to look up at him. Her emerald eye gleamed with desperation.

"You've got to go," she gasped. "You've got to…get him…."

"Where's Fireblaze?" Blackfeather yowled, her voice sharp with alarm. "Where is he? What happened?"

"Get him," Leopardpaw whispered again, before her eye closed and her body went limp.

Spiderpaw was barely aware of the other cats around them, crowding in, trying to get a better look at the injured apprentice.

"What's happening? What did she say?" Eaglestrike's voice rose above the others. Spiderpaw turned, and somehow found his father's questioning eyes in the crowd.

"She said you had to get him!" he shouted back. "They must have been attacked, and Fireblaze is still out there somewhere, too badly hurt too—"

Before he even finished speaking, they were gone – Petalcloud, Eaglestrike, Stormshadow, and Blackfeather darted into the forest, disappearing within seconds.

"Get out of the way, out of the way!" Shimmerfrost ordered, shouldering past the remaining cats. "Darkstorm, Spiderpaw, carry her into the nursery. Stay with her while I get my herbs, understand?"

The two of them hastened to comply. Spiderpaw was moving in a fog as he grasped Leopardpaw's scruff, pulling her with Darkstorm's help. The stench of blood choked him, constricting his throat until he could barely breath, even when he set her down inside the sandy den. Darkstorm stepped back, trembling from shock, but Spiderpaw remained crouched beside her, willing her to open her eyes again.

"Leopardpaw," he whispered, voice urgent. "Can you hear me? I'm sorry, okay. I shouldn't have called you a traitor. I believe you, alright? I believe you're loyal. I believe you're a Clan cat. I—" He was cut off as Shimmerfrost pushed him aside, dropping the herbs she'd been carrying as she began running her paws through Leopardpaw's bloodied pelt, letting out a small hiss now and then if she went.

She turned her head as Stormshadow, Petalcloud, and Blackfeather appeared in the entrance of the den, supporting a badly-injured Fireblaze. Deathstorm ducked out past them. Spiderpaw hastily moved out of the way to give them room to settle down, and found himself trapped in the back as a result. He wanted to leave, to give them their space – he doubted Shimmerfrost's news would be good – but they were all crowded up near the entrance, making it impossible for him to get out.

Shimmerfrost continued looking over Leopardpaw, then moved to Fireblaze as she was finished; she looked up at the waiting cats, as if realizing for the first time that their eyes were on her.

"Stormshadow, Blackfeather, start chewing up those." She nodded to her packet of herbs. "Spread a bit over Leopardpaw's wounds, especially that eye, understand? Petalcloud, cover the areas they've gotten with cobwebs."

The others complied quietly, though their eyes never left Fireblaze's unmoving body. Shimmerfrost began looking over him as well; Spiderpaw looked into her face, but her expression was unreasonable. She finally sat back, looking weary, before she began binding up his wounds.

"Well?" Blackfeather asked, pausing in her chewing. "Is he…?" She couldn't force the word out any more than she could earlier, and Spiderpaw felt a flood of sympathy for her. He moved forward, wanting to press his pelt against his, before remembering his entrapment.

Shimmerfrost didn't answer, her own jaws working furiously to crush the herbs into a pulp, which she began spreading over Fireblaze's body. Spiderpaw assumed that was a yes; why bother tending to wounds that wouldn't heal, after all?

It wasn't until their supply was exhausted that she finally replied.

"Leopardpaw's better off, but not by much. Her injuries aren't as bad, but she tore herself up getting here. The swelling around her eye needs to be reduced, or she might lose it, if she doesn't die on us. Fireblaze…." She trailed off for a moment, and Spiderpaw thought he saw her shoulders tremble.

_They were apprentices together, weren't they? At least for awhile, _he thought, as she sighed.

"I don't know if Fireblaze will make it. We'll have to see. His tail's broken, and this back leg doesn't look good, not to mention these wounds on his stomach, and the one to his skull, plus how he was still healing from Redpaw's attack…if it wasn't for Leopardpaw getting here and alerting us, he'd be dead already." She frowned down at the ginger tom. "We'll just have to wait and see." She looked to his family. "Even if he wakes up, he might not be the same. The trauma is severe."

None of them said anything, and a shocked silence fell over the den, before she shook her head. "Someone will have to stay with them at al times, in case anything goes wrong, like with…." She didn't have to say Birchpool's name. They were all thinking it.

"We'll stay," Petalcloud whispered, her voice almost inaudible. Her amber eyes were clouded with grief as she stared down at her son. "We'll take shifts."

Shimmerfrost nodded. "Alright. Come and get me as soon as anything changes. I need to see to Jaggedclaw." She hesitated, looking almost as though she might say something further, but then shook her head once more and left the den.

Spiderpaw was finally able to move forwards to Blackfeather, but she barely seemed to notice, even as he pressed himself against her.

"Wait and see," she whispered. "That's all we're good for now, isn't it? First Jaggedclaw, now this…just waiting and waiting for something to change, because we're too powerless to help anyone."

Stormshadow moved to press his nose between Petalcloud's ears. As the calico leaned against him, Spiderpaw was vaguely reminded of Robinpaw's earlier hints about his mentor's love life.

"I'm so sorry," Spiderpaw whispered to Blackfeather, thinking that perhaps he should groom her as she groomed him, but she shook her head.

"Go away, Spiderpaw, please," she whispered. "Your father is going to call a meeting soon. You should go and listen."

Spiderpaw was torn, but finally acknowledged that she was right, as she moved to lie down next to her brother. Fireblaze and Leopardpaw had three pairs of eyes on them already; one more wasn't going to help. He bent down to lick Blackfeather's ear, before turning and leaving the den.

Eaglestrike was already on the BranchPile, waiting. His coat was smeared with blood – he must have helped carry Fireblaze back to camp as well, and then gone to his place as the head of the Clan – and his yellow eyes were bone-weary.

He looked down at his son, a question in his eyes, and Spiderpaw shook his head, signaling that the others would not emerge. His father cleared his throat, and Spiderpaw sat down next to Robinpaw, waiting to see what the deputy could possibly tell them.

Eaglestrike too seemed at a loss; he cleared his throat again, and then stared ahead for a moment, as if searching for the words, hunting for some truth he could give to them to brighten their spirits. Finally, he bowed his head.

"I won't lie to you," he said. His voice was soft, but in the silence of the camp, it was impossible to miss. "We're in dire straits, now. Jaggedclaw is very sick, and his survival depends on the journeying cats. Leopardpaw and Fireblaze were horribly injured by Twolegplace rogues; their stench was unmistakable. I think they were not the target of the attack – the rogues were trying to get to PeakClan's territory again. They were only in the wrong place at the wrong time. But Fireblaze killed at least one of them; his ginger fur was between the tom's claws. And from the looks of the scene, more were badly injured, so we might find other bodies…." He trailed off, and sighed again. "No arrangement of the facts will make this a victory for us. We might very well lose two, young, vibrant cats that we can't spare. Two fewer cats to fight for and defend the Clan….We honor them and their sacrifice, of course, and our hearts go out to Fireblaze's family."

Spiderpaw twisted around, searching for Frostfeather, Leopardpaw's mentor; she was the closest thing Leopardpaw had to family, really. Frostfeather and Darkstorm were pressed against one another, their heads bowed with grief.

_Their apprentices might die together. _The thought gave the idea more power, and he shivered, looking back up at his father.

"We'll survive this," Eaglestrike went on. "I know it seems impossible, but no matter what happens, we will survive this. We, as a Clan, will join together. We will fight this sickness, and we will drive these rogues away once and for all, no matter what it takes."

A less shaken Clan might have yowled their approval, but AshClan was silent. Broken.

Waiting.

. . .

He edged into the nursery once the moon hung over the camp. He could see the three still shapes, the three sentinels, their eyes trained on the two fallen. Both Leopardpaw and Fireblaze were still breathing, he was relieved to see, but their breaths were shallow, ragged.

Stormshadow turned as Spiderpaw entered, and blinked, his eyes bleary with sleep.

"Hello," Spiderpaw meowed, voice hushed. "I came to help watch. You two should sleep. The Clan will need everyone to hunt and patrol tomorrow, and I won't be much use with my injured paw anyway."

Petalcloud turned to face her apprentice, then shook her head. "No, no. We can't leave. We have to be here just in case—"

She was cut off by Stormshadow touching her muzzle with his nose. "He's right. We should sleep, so that we can watch over him tomorrow, and help the Clan where we are needed. He will come the moment anything changes." He looked again to Spiderpaw, and the threat in his glimmering eyes was clear. "Won't you?"

Spiderpaw swallowed. "Y-yes. Of course."

Petalcloud looked again to her son, then her daughter. "You should come too, Blackfeather."

The black she-cat shook her head. "No. There should be two of us. One to watch Leopardpaw, one to watch Fireblaze…just in case."

Petalcloud rasped her tongue over her daughter's head and murmured something, before she and Stormshadow exited the den together, leaning on one another.

Spiderpaw settled himself down by Blackfeather. "Are you alright?"

"I will be. When he wakes up."

He lied for her, just as she had for him. "He will. I promise, he will."

She didn't thank him, as she usually would; her worry and grief was too deep for that. She only flicked her tail against his, a silent acknowledgement.

"I'll watch her," he murmured, and she nodded, resting her head on her paws.

They sat together for some time, as the moon continued on its long, arcing path. He could tell she was beginning to nod off, but he didn't try to keep her awake; she needed her rest, and he had never felt more awake in his entire life. He could keep an eye on Leopardpaw and Fireblaze, at least until the morning came around again.

Then, he thought he saw something flicker over Leopardpaw's face – just the smallest twitch, almost nothing at all, but it was enough to get him to sit up again. Another shadow – more noticeable this time – passed over her, and slowly, one green eye opened.

"Fireblaze," she gasped, sucking in a deep breath, a tremor running through her body. "Fireblaze. Is he…."

Spiderpaw rose to his paws, ready to bolt, but Leopardpaw reached towards him with one paw. "Spider…stay. Is he…."

"Blackfeather, get Shimmerfrost," Spiderpaw ordered. Blackfeather was frozen with surprise, staring at the dappled she-cat. "Go!" he exclaimed, and she turned tail, running out of the den.

"Fireblaze is fine, Leopardpaw," he lied, wanting her to calm down; it was possible she would never know one way or the other. "Relax, okay? Just relax, everything will be fine."

"I have to…." Leopardpaw scrabbled at the ground feebly with one paw. "I have to…to tell….Please Spiderpaw, you have to tell him…."

"I'll tell him whatever you want, Leopardpaw, I promise. Just try to relax, please—"

"Should have…told him to run but I knew them…thought I could trust…." Her eye fluttered closed for a moment, then opened again, blazing with frightening intensity and a glimmer of madness. Spiderpaw was reminded of another night, another dying she-cat trying to depart some final truth, and a chill ran down his spine.

_She's not dying, _he hissed to himself, pelt crackling with determination. _Not tonight. I won't let her._

"Relax, Leopardpaw. Just tell me what needs to be said." He tried to keep his voice level, as Eaglestrike had done with the PeakClan cats, but he couldn't stop it from trembling.

"I was wrong," she whispered, voice already fading. "You were right all along…I was with _them _but Fireblaze never…never suspected…should have told him to run, didn't think they'd hurt him, but they didn't even listen to me…Carmelo is out, his plan is out, so I'm useless…less than trash to…."

"To who, Leopardpaw?" he pressed. "Breathe, okay? Focus. Who are you useless to?"

Her concentration was slipping, that much was obvious. Her eye slid away from him, and although her mouth continued to move, he could only catch a few scraps of sound. "Traitor…tell….got to…sorry…."

Her breath caught just as a shadow fell over the den. Spiderpaw was brushed aside as Shimmerfrost swept into the cramped space, crouching over Leopardpaw. He turned away, not wanting to watch, not wanting to look just in case Leopardpaw passed right then, right at that moment. He'd never seen it happen before, not like that.

Blackfeather's eyes glowed like lanterns in the darkness, wide with fear, and he realized she was looking at the fate that might befall her brother. He pressed himself against her again, wanting her to bury her face in his fur so that he could protect her from this pain, but she was rigid, frozen, unable to look away.

Finally, Shimmerfrost turned back to them.

"Well?" Spiderpaw asked, voice barely above a murmur. He couldn't think about what Leopardpaw had said, couldn't rejoice in the fact that he had been right – she was a traitor after all, that was what it all meant. His head was fuzzy, his mind removed from the events at hand, his thoughts sluggish.

"She's asleep," Shimmerfrost said, "but she might wake up again tomorrow. I don't know. However crazy she looked or whatever she said, this is actually a good sign. It means at least part of her mind is working, straining to keep her going." She glanced down at the apprentice again. "She's strong. They both are. If they can make it through tonight and tomorrow, they have a good chance of pulling through." She looked back to the two dark cats. "You two should go to bed. Get some rest. I'll watch over them the rest of the night, and you can take over for me in the morning."

He could feel Blackfeather about to protest, so he spoke first. "Alright. Thank you, Shimmerfrost." He nosed Blackfeather's shoulder. "Come on. They're in good paws."

Blackfeather let herself be led away; Spiderpaw started to head towards the warriors den, but she pushed him towards the apprentice den instead. Remembering his thoughts that morning, he would have smiled, was his heart not so heavy.

She curled up in his nest, looking impossibly tiny, even vulnerable, and he wrapped himself around her, just as she had with him when he had been injured before. He pressed his muzzle between her ears, breathing in her sent and whispering quiet reassurances to her until her breaths became drawn-out and slow.

It took him quite a bit longer to slip away, but when he did, her scent followed him into his dreams.


	63. C h a p t e r 62

**C**_**hapter **_**62**

She was curled up, pretending to be asleep, but was too wired to even consider drifting away. It was soon, she knew that. Chillpaw hadn't spoken a word all day, but she had felt him there, hovering in the back of her mind, although he was distracted by his own journey. They were close to the Pool, she knew – they had to be, or he wouldn't be so quiet, so distant.

_Tonight's the night, _she thought. _The night it all ends._

Sage was pressed up against her back, his legs stretched out in front of him; nearly touching his paws was Swanpaw. That had been Sootpaw's doing; she had mentioned Swanpaw's crush on the white tom in passing, and although he had been surprised, he had always been thoughtful. The two of them had talked a bit that afternoon, which she was glad of. Swanpaw needed a shoulder to lean on now and then, just as Sootpaw did, and it seemed that Sage was the only cat she was willing to let in.

_Probably because Sage isn't part of the Clan responsible for all her troubles, _she mused, and grimaced. _It wasn't like I was really part of any of that, but I suppose I can understand her hostility…._

She felt it then, a brush against her mind as Chillpaw reached out. Before he even spoke, she knew.

_It's time, _he murmured, and she smiled despite her fear, because it would be okay in the end. She was certain of that now. He would hold onto the most important things in his new life, and one of them would be her. There was nothing to fear.

_I'm ready, _she answered, forcing herself to let out a slow breath, trying to steady her heart.

_Do you need my help in falling asleep?_

_If you wouldn't mind. _

_Of course. _She felt him reach out again, but then he hesitated. _Sootpaw. You know that…you know that I love you, don't you?_

_Of course. _Warmth blossomed in her chest, just as it had been doing all day, off and on, whenever his icy eyes entered her mind. _And you know that I love you too. _Three words were all it took to send a spark of electricity racing through her. How was it possible, to feel this much light without having swallowed the sun?

_Deep breaths, please. _His voice was gentle, not demanding, and she complied, breathing out and in and out again, feeling her heartbeat slow, her mind wander, her consciousness drifting apart at the seams, until….

_The mist was almost comforting as it washed over her fur, a gentle reminder of everything that had changed the past few moons. Everything she had done, everything she had heard, everything she had seen. Whether or not she really was the beautiful cat Chillpaw envisioned when he saw her, she certainly _had _changed. She could no longer be called an awkward, bumbling kit. She wasn't quite the clumsy, unsteady apprentice, either. She wasn't a warrior yet, and wouldn't be for some time, but she could no longer be considered immature. _

_Moonpaw wasn't beside her, but this time she knew she didn't have to wait. She strode into the mist without fear, head high, letting it rush over her pelt. Gradually, it began to disappear, and she saw Chillpaw's gleaming eyes waiting for her._

_As she reached out to touch his nose, she felt the same indescribable cold seep into her bones as she had before. But this time, the light in his eyes was enough to brush that away._

_She moved to lick his muzzle, only to freeze as she saw the gleam of other eyes in the darkness. The mist disappeared entirely, and she knew she was in the Dark Forest, but it did not look as it had before._

_It was pitch black. The north star was completely invisible, no matter what direction she looked. There were no trees, no rocks. The land was completely flat, and mostly undisturbed. The journeying cats were the first to set their paws here in centuries, it seemed. _

_The only light was a soft silver glow that bathed the journeying cats, who were standing around her and Chillpaw in a half-circle, in front of her, behind, and to the right. The light was coming from _her, _she discovered, a shining silver halo glowing out from within her fur. She remembered Chillpaw mentioning some sort of glow in passing – the glow of life, of that silver force that all the Dark Forest cats had, but not in abundance. Not as she did._

"_Where is it?" she asked, looking to Blight, who was standing directly in front of her, a few tail-lengths away. "The Pool, I mean. I don't see it."_

_Wordlessly, he reached over to his right – her left – and dipped his paw in what she had thought was solid black ground. It rippled underneath his paws, a ripple that continued far into the darkness where her glow couldn't reach. It was the Pool, the Pool of Eternal Night, darker than the blackest heart._

_Blight had shivered as he touched the Pool, and drawn back quickly, shaking his paw a few times to dry it. His single eye flicked over her as he did so, and a grin stretched over his muzzle. "Come sit by me, Chillpaw. In your place."_

_Chillpaw blinked into Sootpaw's eyes, and something dark came over his face, something she couldn't read. He didn't say anything, just moved and sat on Blight's right, as close to the Pool as he could possibly be without tumbling into the black waters._

"_How are you, pet?" Blight purred, eye twinkling with something in between madness and amusement, or perhaps equal parts of both. "Had a good day, did you? Chillpaw's been the cheeriest I've ever seen him. Your dream last night must have been awful lovely."_

_She knew what he was implying, and heat crept over her face, mixed with disgust at his lewdness. His grin only widened, his teeth twinkling eerily in her ghostly glimmer._

"_Let's get on with it," Brightstar hissed from behind her, but Blight only laughed._

"_Bright, darling. Where is your sense for theatrics? You used to be so good at them, in life. Always the flair for the dramatic with you. I expect you'll get that back very soon, though, won't you?" Blight's eye flickered. "There's plenty of time. She's not going anywhere."_

_His voice seemed to be caressing her ears, but there was an unmistakable threat underneath it. Her pelt crawled and she looked to Chillpaw for help, but he wasn't meeting her eyes. That frightened her more than anything. _

"_Thank you for your help, pet. I truly mean that, from the bottom of my heart. We all do, don't we?" Blight cast his gaze around the half-circle, but none of the other cats moved. Their heads were bowed, avoiding his face – and Sootpaw's._

"_I'm disappointed." His voice took on a faux-sulky note. "I would have thought you all would be more eager than this, with triumph so close at paw. Alas, alas. There will be room for that later, I suppose. Brightstar, Dapplefern, if you two would be so kind…."_

_Sootpaw stiffened, and she was aware of what was going to happen a fraction of a second before it did, but that wasn't time enough to stop it. Before she could turn around, she was face-down in the black dirt, with four paws pressing down on her as the two she-cats pinned her down._

_Brightstar's claws pricked her as the ginger-and-white she-cat jerked her over so that she was laying on her side, staring ahead with fright. _

"_Chillpaw," she meowed, thrashing, trying to escape their grasp. "Chillpaw!" Her voice was tight with panic, but still he did not move. Still, he stared at his paws, rather than her._

"_Oh, pet." Blight's eyes gleamed with mocking sympathy. "You have no idea, do you, poor thing?" He tilted his head towards the white tom. "You really did a number on her, Chillpaw. How deliciously cruel of you. Truly, you are a master of deception."_

_Icy fear trapped her then, ensnaring her in its claws. She flailed again, but her paws could reach nothing, with the two she-cats behind her, and their grip was too strong for her to turn over to pummel them. She twisted, trying to bite them, only to be struck by Brightstar's heavy paw. Her head struck the ground, and she was dazed for a moment, ears ringing._

"_Be gentle!" Blight's voice was sharp. "So help me, if you break her before we get started, and this all goes to waste…."_

"_Shut up, she's fine," Brightstar spat back. "Just get _on _with it! I want to really breathe again, to see something besides these infernal shadows!"_

_Blight chuckled, as if the ex-leader was nothing more than a foolish kit, but she could see the impatience that was beginning to glimmer in his eye. "Very well. I'll make this quick, then, as much as I do love to draw out these sorts of soul-shattering revelations." He took a step forwards, and Sootpaw went rigid._

"_You are not going to wake up again." His voice was gentle, almost loving, but as twisted as a kinked whisker. "You aren't going to see your friends again either, pet, I'm afraid. Never going to catch another mouse, or eat it. Never going to drink any cool, clear water…but we will." He swiped his tongue over his muzzle._

"_Moonpaw," she whispered, a last-ditch plea for someone to come to her aid, for someone to take her away from the unfolding nightmare._

_He laughed, a high, ugly sound. "Moonpaw. How perfect, that you call for what doomed you in the first place. She was our entrance, dear. She was how we got into your mind in the first place. Kits place all sorts of vulnerabilities in their imaginary friends, don't they? All sorts of secret, all sorts of _power. _Through Moonpaw, Chillpaw here was able to give you those dreams – with my help, of course. Through Moonpaw, he was able to establish a connection with you…and through Moonpaw, he gave you a little prodding now and then." He winked – something that seemed wrong with just one eye – and she remembered distantly those conversations she'd had with her old friend, how Moonpaw had always been in favor of the Dark Forest cats, always urging her to give them another chance…._

_Her eyes fell to Chillpaw, her last hope that Blight was lying, that none of it was true, but he was still hiding his face, like a coward. _

"_It was beautiful, really, the way he twisted you. I could learn a thing or two from his devious mind. But it's his coldness that really gets me, pet. That iciness, that utter _detachment _from everything. It really is easy to use others when you are unable to care about how you hurt them, isn't it?" He tossed the question at the white tom, but received no answer, not that he had expected one. He leered back down at Sootpaw, clearly beside himself with glee, with moons of planning and manipulating finally coming to a head. "He twisted you around his paw, made you dance for him, made you pass his tests and listen to these stories and feel – actually _feel _–for the damned. It's remarkable. Miraculous, even. But you were the perfect cat for it, weren't you? You naïve, impressionable little thing. You tiny fool." His voice took on a note of disdain. "You got that from your mother, you know. She was easy to lure too. All too willing to believe in the good and look past the evil._

"_That's why it had to be you, you know. It couldn't be my son, no – someone has to carry on the bloodline. Couldn't be your sister – she would never come close to trusting me. It had to be _you, _the softest of the litter, to be our lamb. _

"_Now, I'm going to tell you exactly what is going to happen, because I want you to understand the pain you are going to feel…and the pain you're going to cause." He leered at her. "Chillpaw has explained to you how the Pool is supposed to work, I believe. The idea is that your light – that glow coming from your pelt, the only light we have at the moment – is strong enough to pierce the darkness of the Pool. And thus, to pass through it, we need that light for ourselves. Now, normally you would jump in with a cat you were wanting to save. You'd be sucked into the shadows and spit back out on the other side – life. But along the way, the Pool would take something from you, some part of your life, and give it to the other cat. That's the only way we can pass through, after all. The light that we take in sears us, burns away our memories and past dealings. We emerge anew, brimming with possibility._

"_But that is not what is going to happen tonight, my dear, for we have found a way to circumvent this. You see, many of us have goals for the new life. Power to be grabbed, revenge to be taken, orders to overthrow. What good would life be, if we remembered nothing?" He chuckled. "Rather pointless, really. So we had to find a way to eliminate losing our memories, but still being able to go through the Pool. The answer was obvious; take in less of your light, but still just enough to let us through. And then we found this ceremony, a dusty old thing left to rot in the minds of most, for few had dared imagine actually bringing a living cat here. But we dreamt it, and we did it, and here you are." His hungry eye gleamed as he looked her over._

"_We're each going to take a part of you, a part of your light. It will be painful, my dear, for you are not giving it up willingly. We must take it from you, by force. It works better with nine – less light to each cat – but seven will do just fine. The parts we take are small enough that we will only forget a few things. Insignificant things. Our favorite sort of prey, perhaps, or maybe our mother's face. Things that don't matter. But we will remember who we are, and what we've set out to do. And it's all thanks to you." An ugly grin split his face._

"_I must say that you, my darling, have played your role perfectly. But now, I'm afraid, it's time for our dealings to come to a close. Time to say goodbye, pet." He ducked his head then, until his nose was inches from her face. She jerked her head back, but couldn't escape his touch as he licked her head, right between the ears, as a father might, before he stepped back._

"_Welcome to the Dark Forest, Sootpaw," he purred, eye glowing like a horrible flame against his gray fur. "Are you ready to give up your life?"_

_She sucked in a sharp breath, but apparently she didn't have to answer, for he turned back, taking his place in the circle and nodding to someone out of her sight. She didn't have to see him to recognize his heavy pawsteps, however, or the tired resolution he felt._

_Swiftshade entered her field of vision, his amber eyes dark, impossible to read._

"_With this…." He began, then faltered, ears pinned against his head. "With this strike, I take your determination."_

_He bent down, and she writhed, but the two she-cats pinning her had her in a vice grip. Swiftshade bit down into her chest with his powerful jaws, reaching deep, deep inside of her, bypassing any muscle or bone or sinew, grabbing something that was at her very core, her very _being_, and ripped it away._

_She screeched as pain like she had never felt before ran through her, blotting everything out. A sea of black swam before her eyes as Swiftshade grew back, and she gasped for breath, her entire body crying out as he moved back to his position in the circle. _

_Brightstar moved forward in his place, releasing her grip on Sootpaw, but Sootpaw could only twitch feebly, her body still aching._

_The ex-leader stared down at the apprentice with her two-toned eyes, excitement glimmering in their depths. She wasted not a moment as she said, "With this strike, I take your humility."_

_She plunged her fangs into Sootpaw's chest with gusto, and the apprentice was once again swept away by a black tide, her body wracked with spasms as Brightstar stepped back to pin her once more._

_Shrew approached next. His eyes were round with fear and sympathy, and she could see the tremors running through him._

"_Please," she whispered, voice cracking, "please, Shrew please."_

"_W-with this strike, I take…I take y-your temperance," he blurted, diving in and ripping into her before scurrying back into the darkness, a few drops of silver life force – _her _life force – flying out behind him as he went. _

_Dapplefern released her then, but Brightstar held on all the tigheter as the dappled golden she-cat moved to face the apprentice._

"_Spare me your pleading," the green-eyed monster hissed, although Sootpaw had known she could earn no sympathy from the foxheart. "AshClan deserves to be destroyed, and you're only the first of many, understand?" She tossed her head back, eyes flashing. "With this strike, I take your compassion."_

_Sootpaw would have given up anything at that moment – her eyes, her ears, her paws, her family, her life – to be able to escape, even if that escape was only fading into nothingness itself. Her entire body vibrated with pain, a hum of agony that threatened to drive out everything else as Dapplefern stepped back, licking life force off of her muzzle. There was a glow to the she-cat's golden pelt as she returned to pinning Sootpaw, and dimply the apprentice realized that her own glow was dying, disappearing a little more with each strike, as her own flame threatened to go out._

Let it go, _she thought, prayed, _let it go, let _me _go before they finish this, before they make it back into….

_Nettlefrost strode forwards next, and her white pelt already seemed to give off a light of its own. She stared down at the apprentice, her expression giving away nothing, but she murmured,_

"_I will not waste the next life. I cannot speak for them, but your sacrifice will not be in vain."_

_She lifted her chin, throwing a glance towards Blight. "With this strike, I take your generosity." _

_Sootpaw barely had the energy to even whimper as the white she-cat tore into her and backed away, her alabaster fur giving off a new ghostly glow._

_And then, it was Blight who came before her, his single eye twinkling as if she was nothing more than a show, a curiosity to be stared at, a low-thinking creature for him to play with before he devoured her._

"_This was always your destiny, from the moment you were born," he hissed. "How does that feel, pet? To know that your entire existence – that everything you've experienced, thought, believed to be true – has been leading up to this moment? That your entire purpose was always to be my sacrifice? That you are mine to control, mine to discard?" He chuckled. "That's the beauty of it, really. You are completely and totally _mine. _Not even your precious StarClan – those rat-hearted cretins – can step in now, not while we're cloaked in these shadows. And you will never be joining them, for it's awful hard to find your way to the afterlife without having a spirit to reside there."_

_Her response was to summon up all of her flagging strength, to arch her neck up and spit in his face. He drew back with a snarl, lifting his paw as if to strike her again before lowering it, not wanting to risk killing her._

"_So much like your mother, pet," he said in a voice that was half purr and half growl. "With this strike, I take your purity."_

_Her vision was swamped with black as his fangs sunk into her chest, and for a brief moment – the space in between heartbeats – she thought that it was over, that there simply wasn't enough of her left to carry on, that their plan had been foiled by her weakness. But slowly, her eyes found the shapes of the cats around her again, and she looked up just as Chillpaw came to stand over her._

"_I'm sorry," he whispered, and she could see the splintering in his eyes, the ice breaking apart. "Last night shouldn't have happened, but I just wanted you…I wanted you to be happy. Before this. I wasn't lying when I promised I would remember you, Sootpaw. I always will. But I have to do this. For Lion, and for his family."_

"_Lion is dead," she wheezed, her voice barely audible. "You finished the cycle. What more is there to do?"_

"_Lion wasn't finished when he died. He had avenged two of his friends, and he had struck for a third, but there was Clover. And his kits. Three of them. Three of them that died when Clover miscarried. He thought that I was one of them, but of course I wasn't…but don't you see? I have to continue his work, I have to find the balance again." His voice was pleading. "I have to follow what I know to be true, because without that…there's nothing. And it's perfect, everything lines up. Silverstar's lost four lives, and she'll lose another due to the sickness when you don't come back in time. Then she'll have four left. One for every life Lion failed to avenge."_

_She was barely conscious, struggling for breath, but the memory of Bluepaw's words rose, unbidden, to her mind. "You're wrong," she rasped. "You've already taken those lives."_

_Confusion flitted over his face. The pain rose over her, threatening to overwhelm her, but she fought it back, struggling to form the words. "Silverstar was…pregnant. Four kits. And when you took her life…."_

_Horror rose in Chillpaw's eyes. "I…I killed…."_

"_Hurry up, Chillpaw! Kill her!" Blight snarled, but the white apprentice didn't seem to hear him._

"_Everything's in balance," he murmured, seeming shell-shocked. "There is no debt, there is no…."_

"_The balance can't…can't control you now." Sootpaw could feel herself dangling by a thread, seconds away from being severed entirely. "Whatever you do is up to you, Chillpaw."_

_He continued to stare down at her, and she saw him not as he was, but how he had been in those first dreams, the memories, in that moment where he had been standing just below Silverstar, moments away from taking her life. His head had been bowed, and he had been struggling then as he was now, torn between two worlds, two paths, two bonds of loyalty._

Please, _she thought, just as she had in her dreams. _Allow it to end differently.

_Then, his eyes locked with hers, and she saw the anger – not cold indifference, not icy detachment, not chilly aloofness – crackling within them. Something rumbled in the back of his throat, a low growl at first, but by the time he turned and threw himself at Blight, it had transformed into a roar worthy of a lion._

_Chaos erupted around her. She heard Brightstar and Dapplefern both screech with fury, their claws digging into her pelt, only to be torn away as two shapes flew over her. Sootpaw was barely aware of the movement, was barely aware of Shrew rushing to her side, his eyes glowing with alarm._

"_Sootpaw!" he exclaimed, voice tight with panic. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I take it back, I revoke it, however you do this! I give up your light!"_

_A thunderbolt rocked her then, and she did pass out for a moment before coming around again, finding new strength filling her limbs. The glow had vanished from Shrew's pelt, had returned to her, although she could do little more than lift her head._

_Behind her, she heard fearsome snarls, and the sound of claws tearing into fur and flesh. She tried to look, but couldn't, until she was struck twice more by the powerful force._

_She twisted around in time to see Nettlefrost wrap her jaws around Dapplefern's throat. The golden she-cat twisted and writhed, her claws slashing down the length of Nettlefrost's stomach, but the white warrior barely flinched. Dapplefern began to fade, at first at the edges of her fur, then farther and farther in until her entire being seemed to flicker. The she-cat only had time to let out an agonized, pleading screech before she disappeared entirely, and Sootpaw was struck again by the release of energy._

_Nettlefrost turned to face the gray apprentice, her green eyes glowing. "I am one of ThunderClan's regrets," she meowed, echoing Sootpaw's words. "I do not intend to become that again."_

_Nettlefrost's pelt was dark, and so was Swiftshade's, as he grappled with the ginger-and-white leader; they had both given up their share of the light too. Warmth flickered in Sootpaw's heart for a moment – they were not the same cats that she had first met after all; they had only needed someone to take action first, to refuse Blight's twisted guidance – before she fully remembered the danger the gray tom still posed. She turned, fur bristling, just in time to see a gray streak dart past her._

_Blight sprang at Nettlefrost with a blood-curdling yowl, tearing into her well-groomed fur with all his strength. The she-cat was knocked to the ground, winded by his onslaught._

_Swiftshade dropped Brightstar's bleeding body and turned, but he was too late. Blight reared onto his hind legs just as Nettlefrost twisted to try and get away. With all his might, he came down on her ribs, and Sootpaw's ears rang as something cracked._

_Nettlefrost sucked in a tight breath of shock, emerald eyes widening with disbelief. Blight wasted not a moment, raking his claws over her throat and springing back before she could speak a single word. Her body jerked as silver life-force left her, and her white fur became almost translucent as her spirit began to fade._

_Swiftshade charged at Blight with his head down, intending to ram him, but Blight dodged to the side with a high-pitched laugh._

"_One way or another, I'm getting out of here tonight!" he said in what was almost a shriek. His single eye fell onto Sootpaw, and he lunged at her._

_She scrambled out of the way, and found Shrew standing between the two of them, fur raised in feeble defiance, but Blight swept him to the side as if he was little more than a bug._

"_Nowhere to run now, pet," he seethed, eye glittering with madness. "You and I are heading into the Pool, and that's that. And when I come back, I'm going to gut that brother of yours, and I'm going to make your mother watch. I'm going to make your father beg for mercy, beg for his life the way he should have moons ago. And your friend, the traitor? I'm going to track her down, and I'm going to break her. I'm going to make her my new pet, and she'll have kits far more worthy than any of you could ever—"_

_At that moment, another bolt of energy flooded Sootpaw – Nettlefros – and the rest of his words were lost in the roar that engulfed her. It felt as if her entire pelt was aflame, as if every part of her was blazing up into the black sky, and she felt almost surprised the others couldn't smell the smoke._

_Swiftshade struck again, and this time he managed to catch Blight by surprise, knocking him to the ground for a moment before Blight slashed his stomach and rolled away. Blight's attention was diverted for a mere moment as he looked down at the blue-and-white tom struggling to rise to his paws, but that was as long as Sootpaw needed._

_She threw herself at him, channeling all of her anger, all of her rage into her claws and jaws. She landed on his back, digging into his flesh with all her might. Her bulk was enough to knock him to the ground, and even as he twisted underneath her like a snake, she held on. With one paw, she grabbed the side of his face, narrowly missing his good eye, twisting it to the side, exposing the back of his neck. She struck there, just to the left of his scruff, jaws digging in, and bit down as hard as she could, working until she felt bone crunch between her teeth. Blight shrieked, howling like a demon, but went silent as she shook her head like a dog with a bone, and something snapped. He slumped underneath of her, but did not fade – not yet._

_She stepped off of him and looked up just in time to see Brightstar fade away to nothing, rocking her with a fresh wave of energy._

_Swiftshade was on his paws again, the wounds that Brightstar and Blight had inflicted upon him already healing. He did not flicker, to her relief, although his eyes were glazed with shock._

_Shrew was still lying on the ground as if dazed by Blight's toss, but he too rose, albeit slowly. A wave of relief rolled over Sootpaw as her anger ebbed away, until she realized that Chillpaw was missing._

_She wheeled around, sucking in a gasp as her eyes found his white pelt in the gloom. He was lying on his stomach, unmoving. As she rushed to his side, she saw the glint of silver life force around him._

_His head rose, and his blue eyes gleamed up at her, unfocused and hazy._

"_You're alright," he breathed, and tried to rise to his paws, only to crumple on his side, baring the long slash down his stomach, and the gashes on his chest._

"_I don't think I'm going to…." He groaned, and she pressed her nose to his muzzle, trying to quiet him._

"_Just relax," she mewed, despite the icy fear fluttering in her heart. "The life force inside of you heals wounds as it leaves, doesn't it?"_

"_Not when they're this bad," came Swiftshade's rumble from behind her. She turned to see him and Shrew standing together, ears flattened. "He will not last much longer. Not unless you take him into the Pool, as it was intended to be used."_

"_I…but what will happen to you?" Her gaze flitted to both of their faces, and Shrew attempted a brave smile._

"_We'll find the north star again," he meowed. "I know the way. I've completed eight tests…although maybe it's nine now. I can help Swiftshade. We can make it, Sootpaw, I promise. We'll see you in StarClan."_

_Swiftshade dipped his head. "We can do it. And you can as well. You must be brave. The Pool will take something from you, some part of yourself, and it will be painful…but nothing you have not already experienced." His amber eyes glimmered with guilt. "We should not have helped Blight. We know that now. We've known it for some time, but…this reality was difficult to face. Forgive us."_

_Chillpaw let out another groan behind her, and she quickly nodded to the two toms. "I understand. Believe me, you're forgiven. Go, then. Stick together, keep safe. I'll see you in StarClan." _

_Swiftshade glanced over his shoulder towards Blight, whose flanks were still twitching with pained, fading breaths._

"_Leave him," she said. "Alone in death as he should have been in life."_

_Swiftshade and Shrew dipped their heads to her, and she turned back to Chillpaw, grabbing his scruff, trying to get him on his paws. He sagged against her, murmuring things she could barely make out._

"_I see it now," he whispered in her ear. "Where we go, when we…where the life force goes…it's all a part of everything, all a part of the balance…it's beautiful, Sootpaw, beautiful…."_

"_Don't leave, okay?" Her voice threatened to break as they inched towards the Pool, despite her attempts to sound firm. "Stay with me, Chillpaw. You promised. You promised your next life would be better, and I'm holding you to that, understand?"_

_Her toes brushed the edge of the Pool, and she stopped, staring into its inky surface, feeling fear threaten to choke her as she imagined being submerged in it, being trapped forever…._

"_Sootpaw." Chillpaw's voice made her look down again, and she saw his eyes burn with a strange, focused light. "If you do this, you won't dream again…those cats, the journey, those secrets…they'll be lost to you."_

"_You're worth so much more to me than that," she answered, her voice finally cracking as one last thunderbolt ran through her. "More than anything. I love you, Chillpaw. So, so much."_

_Peace came into his face, sifting away the pain so that there was not even a trace of ice in his eyes. "I love you too. Thank you."_

_And together, they took the plunge into nothing_

_into darkness_

_into the night sky _

_into the space of heartbeats _

_into winding tunnels and twisting passages_

_into swirling nightmares and broken promises_

_into the cries of kits and the fiercest winds_

_into chilling ice and freezing rain_

_into blazing flames and sunlight_

_into the lamentations of birds_

_into the songs of crickets_

_into the dying light_

_into the void_

_into complete_

_and utter_

_silence._

_And he was torn from her, rent apart and scattered_

_blazing away like a comet's tail_

_as agony tore through her, making her twist and writhe_

_bubbles and life wrenched from her jaws to flood the abyss_

_stars flashed behind her eyes in the inky depths _

_faces swam before her, too quickly for her to grab_

_and not one of them was his._

. . .

When she opened her eyes, the wind rushed into her lungs as if she had been holding her breath for hours. She rolled over to cough, chest burning, only to find paws on her side and back. She lashed out with one paw, and the others withdrew. They were saying things, but it took her a few breaths to understand the words.

"—thought you were dead!" Sage was saying as she turned to face them, his green eyes wide with relief. "I woke up and you were barely breathing, and then you just sort of stopped….I woke everyone up, I'm sorry, I just didn't know what else to do…." His mask of calmness had slipped in his panic, and she could smell his fear-scent.

She realized the others were crowded around her too, the whole group peering down at her.

"You're not getting sick, are you?" Reedrush asked, her green gaze flicking over Sootpaw from head to toe.

"I'm fine," she mumbled, ears burning as she saw their alarm. "I just…." Any excuses faltered as a pang of loss ran through her. "I have to go. Excuse me."

She rose to her paws and fled, hearing their voices ring out behind her, but not caring as she plunged into the forest.

She ran through the woods, stumbling and falling over every obstacle in her past – her paws felt like stone, like lead – but not stopping until she was certain that they were all far, far behind. It was only then that she allowed herself to collapse there, alone, as the morning light washed over the trees. The birds began their songs, but she barely heard them, adrift in her grief and longing for games of Fox and Rabbit, the tossing of new fallen snow, and the feeling of two pelts so close together underneath the raw sky and pouring rain.

**AN: Grabbing by the scruff and shaking is, incidentally, one way to kill rats.**

**We might see some of Nettle in a one-shot, since out of all of them, I think her turning might be most surprising.**

**I guess the Hope Spot of the last Sooty chapter was cruel, but cruelty to love interests is my specialty. :)**


	64. C h a p t e r 63

**C**_**hapter **_**63**

He woke up with a jolt, pelt bristling. Something was wrong, very wrong; he could feel it in his bones. He craned his neck around to peer at Blackfeather, but she was still sound asleep; then, his eyes flicked to the den entrance, as he wondered if they were being attacked, but there were no sounds to hear, nothing but silence and the sleepy murmurs of his Clanmates.

_Sootpaw? _he wondered, and shivered, pushing the thought aside. He'd never had strange dreams as she had, had never dappled in the spiritual side of their world. That sort of thing had always seemed beyond him, and he'd welcomed it before.

_It's dawn, _he realized, seeing the hazy light dappling the den's entrance. _Shimmerfrost needs someone to relieve her, doesn't she?_

He looked again to Blackfeather, and gently wiggled away from her, licking her muzzle once – perhaps a bit longer than was strictly necessary – before slipping out of the den and into the nursery.

Shimmerfrost's back was to him as he entered, and she didn't move at first. Then, her shoulders jerked and her head shot up. She glanced at him over her shoulder, her eyes bleary with weariness.

"I can watch them now," he said quietly. She nodded, rising to her paws, and rubbing her muzzle with one paw, as if trying to brush the sleepiness away.

"Come if anything changes with Fireblaze," she grunted. "If Leopardpaw wakes up, keep her relaxed until she passes out again."

Spiderpaw felt a flood of relief; that meant the two injured cats were alright, at least for now. He wanted to ask about Jaggedclaw too, but bit the questions back; Shimmerfrost would hardly know if anything had changed for the scarred tom, since she had been with her other two charges all night.

"Will do," he said, moving to the edge of the den so she could pass by him, before settling down where she had been. The dirt was warm against his belly, warm enough to make him sleepy, and he shifted a bit to get to cooler ground.

He looked between the two cats for a moment, noting Leopardpaw's easier breath compared to Fireblaze's labored heaves, before resting his muzzle on his paws, trying to keep them both in his line of vision at the same time. He thought of Blackfeather, wondering if he should run to get her, but decided to let her sleep awhile longer. She'd need every moment of rest; the rest of the Clan would be heavily overworked to compensate for Fireblaze and Leopardpaw.

The words Leopardpaw had gasped the night before danced in his mind, and finally he could not help but to whisper her name. "Leopardpaw."

Her face twitched – subtly, but it was there – and he whispered it again, more loudly this time. Her head shook once, and then one green eye slowly opened to stare at him.

"Spiderpaw," she murmured, her voice barely perceptible. And then again, more strongly, "Spiderpaw."

"Yeah. It's me. How do you feel?" He was burning with questions, but tried to rein them in. Whatever Leopardpaw was, she had nearly died fighting alongside Fireblaze, and had risked her life to try and get help for him.

"Like a monster ran me over," she grunted, "and then backed over me again." Her head rose slowly as she tried to look at Fireblaze, but the effort was too much for her and her head flopped back down after only a moment. "Is he okay? Awake?"

"He's still sleeping. He…he hasn't woken up yet. But he will." He tried to inject certainty into his voice. "And I'll tell him what I said I would."

He thought he saw fear flicker in her eye. "Did I…really say those things? I thought it was…a dream, maybe, or a hallucination…." She sighed. "But he deserves to know. More than anyone. It's my fault, everything is…."

"You're working for Carmelo, aren't you?" His voice was soft, but firm. "I was right. You're a traitor."

She let out a pained chuckle. "Not working for him anymore. No one is. Carmelo's out, Maggot's in…and he won't back down from that…not now. He has his own plans brewing and…they don't need me."

He opened his mouth for more questions, but she seemed about to continue on, so he waited.

"He's my uncle," she rasped. "Mother died kitting. No one knew that, though…just thought he took me in. Like I was trash on the street to be…swept up. He knew the Clans took to…younger cats more easily. He trained me for awhile…then had other cats do it. All very hush-hush, you know…his plan wasn't one he'd want…others to know." She grimaced. "Everyone there thinks highly of him. And he's not bad. But he's no saint, either."

"The marsh cats know, don't they?" He blinked, remembering the mysterious "her" Fern and Baron had been talking about before, the one they had been hesitant to trust.

She nodded stiffly. "Yeah. Just the higher-ups, though, and they don't know much. Just that…I'm a spy."

"You've been feeding the rogues information for moons," he meowed. "Stuff about us, and PeakClan. That's where you disappear to. You sniff out dissent – like with Shimmerfrost – and pounce on it."

Leopardpaw grimaced. "Sounds so filthy…when you put it that way."

Anger prickled his pelt. "It should. We gave you a home, food, shelter…and you were turning on us the entire time. We trusted you—"

She cut him off with another chuckle. "No one _trusts _me here. Not even you. No one but…." Her eye drifted towards the ginger tom again, and Spiderpaw's ears lowered.

"You want me to tell him all of this?" he asked. "He's a loyal cat. He's protective of the Clan, and the ones he cares about. If he knows what you really are…."

"Don't you think I know that?" Her eye glowed fiercely for a moment, and her lips peeled back in a snarl. "I know…exactly what he'll think. That I'm scum. Lowest of the low. But he has to know. He deserves that much, at least."

He was shaken by her resolve. But it made sense, in a way; Fireblaze had stepped in for her in the battle with the rogues, when her own kind – the cats she believed to be her allies – had turned on her. And it seems that he had done so again, when the two of them had been attacked.

"I should have known," she murmured, her eye closing. "Should have known it was dangerous…should have run…but I thought the others just didn't know who I was…thought if I explained things, they'd do what I said, let us go…but Carmelo's done, finished, and I'm nothing more than trash again."

"The Clan scented you all over the place before you joined us," he meowed, cogs still turning. "You were lying in wait, then. Just waiting for something to happen, so you could swoop in and be the hero."

She nodded. "A tried and true tactic with your Clan, according to what I've heard. Being there in the right place…at the right time…seems to go a long way, whether the threat is…badgers or a river."

He shuddered at that, then blinked, as something occurred to him. "Were there…other similarities, between you and Chillpaw?"

She only stared up at him for a moment, her eye dark and impossible to read, before sighing. "Yeah. There were. I wasn't just here for information…I was here for your father."

Disgust and fear washed over him, but he pressed on. "Here for him how?"

"I was supposed to…attack him, when the opportunity arose. My warrior ceremony, perhaps…or in the forest, if it was just the two of us. The timing had to be right…the Clan had to be weakening, growing ever sicker, fewer in numbers…." A ghost of a smile flickered over her face. "Now would have been that perfect moment, if things weren't so wrong."

Spiderpaw's tail lashed from side to side. "Why? What would hurting my father accomplish? What are Carmelo's plans for the forest?"

"He wants to fill it up," she wheezed, "send out more Twolegplace cats. It's crammed with them, cramped, barely room to breathe. The plan was to…move in when the Clan was too weak, too hopeless for anything else. Swoop in on them when they had no clear leader, offer them a cure for the sickness, become their hero…and slowly take over. Baby steps. But none of that matters now. Carmelo's finished. Done. Maggot will see to that, if he hasn't already."

"So you were just using me, then, when you and the others 'rescued' me from the marsh rogues?" His voice was a low hiss, crackling with pain and betrayal. "It was just to get you into my good graces, to earn more points with my father."

"Of course."

"So everything was just a calculation, a careful move on your part to get to the end…was any of it _real? _Do you care about any of us at all? Do you care about _him?_" He jerked his tail towards Fireblaze, and her single eye clouded over.

"It doesn't matter. Like I said…it's over. All of it. You're going to tell him, then you're going to tell your father, and whatever he decides, I'll probably bite it. No sense in nursing a spy back to health…and I'm hardly worth anything as a prisoner."

"So why tell me?" he snapped. "Why not keep it a secret? Don't tell me you're not looking out for your own neck first, because that's what you've been doing this entire time."

"I just told you." Her green eye burned with surprising fierceness despite her weakened state. "He deserves to know. I about got him killed over nothing. He isn't like everyone else, he…he trusted me. More than you pretended to. He protected me, when he didn't have to. He's _different, _and I…." She faltered, coughing weakly, flanks straining to rise. Spiderpaw felt a prickle of fear mixed with relief as she struggled to breath, the reactions of a Clanmate and an enemy churning together into a confusing mess. Her breathing stabilized, but her eyes closed, and it was clear she had succumbed again.

For several minutes, Spiderpaw could only stare down at the sleeping she-cat, trying to make sense of what she had told him. Part of him had been hoping that his hunch wasn't correct, that Leopardpaw really was a loyal Clan cat, but she had lied to them all along. The entire time, she had been planning on killing his father, when the time was right. Even when she had been helping him, such as when she gathered the others for their rescue attempt, it had only been to further her own goals.

And yet, an ember of doubt still remained inside of him. Leopardpaw had fought with them against the rogues, when their patrol had been ambushed, and had nearly lost her life. The rogues she thought she knew had turned on her, and he had believed she was finally coming to understand what a Clanmate was. Not only that, but she had stayed within the Clan, even when it was clear her plan could no longer come to fruition. And when she had come back after she and Fireblaze were attacked, her first concern had been for him, not for herself, just as when she'd offered to go looking for Redpaw in Twolegplace, even knowing the questions such an act would stir up.

Her loyalty to the Twolegplace cats had been wavering, of that he was certain. Even if her uncle had not been as misplaced as she believed he was, even if his plan had not failed and Maggot had not taken the helm, she would have had doubts. And perhaps that would make all the difference.

He watched her flanks rise and fall, struggling with what to do. Naturally, the Clan had to know. He had to tell his father. He should fetch Shimmerfrost, get her to watch the two of them again, and then go confess everything to the deputy, all that Leopardpaw had told him. But somehow, he couldn't do it. Not yet. Not when he still had more questions to ask.

"Spiderpaw?"

He turned, and found Petalcloud blinking at him, her golden eyes dark with worry. "Where's Blackfeather? Has something changed?"

"Shimmerfrost took over for us last night," he meowed, shifting to the side so that she could sit down next to him. "Blackfeather slept in the apprentice den. She was too tired to go back to the warrior den, I guess." His face heated for a moment, but his mentor was too distracted to notice. "I woke up early, and thought I'd give Shimmerfrost a break."

"Sweet of you," the calico murmured, eyes locked on her son. "I know you two weren't especially fond of one another. Blackfeather let a few things slip, about how he made things hard for you, when she was still an apprentice."

"We got past it," was all he could think to say. "He pulled my tail out of a couple rough spots, and he was glad I helped Blackfeather. And…he means a lot, to both of you."

She reached over, brushing the back of his ear with her nose. "Thank you, Spiderpaw. I hope you'll understand for yourself someday how much this means to me."

He glanced up at her, wondering what she was implying, but he had some idea of it, and didn't want to press further. It was embarrassing to even think about that sort of thing, kits of his own. They would probably be runty like him, puny and weak and ineffectual. Especially if their mother….

He shook his head, wondering where the thought had come from, heat flickering over his face again.

"He was a little darling, once," Petalcloud said, almost dreamily. "I wish you could have known him then. I think you two would have been friends; you're very much like him, or how he was as a kit. Young and bright and full of spirit….But then Swansong died, and some of that spirit turned rather sour…he and Blackfeather were already close then, of course, since they were found together – we have no idea where they came from, or who their parents were – but it got worse, with Swansong gone. She had spirit too, and she was able to comfort him in ways I couldn't. Sometimes I miss her terribly…." The calico ducked her head, a tremor running over her, and Spiderpaw could only stare, uncertain of what to do or how to deal with his mentor's vulnerability. "Stormshadow helped a bit, but it wasn't really his problem; I didn't want him to feel obligated, just because we were…friends."

"Where is he?" Spiderpaw asked, hoping to change the subject, to escape the ensuing awkwardness that prickled his pelt like tiny needles. Logically he knew Petalcloud had a life before she came to a Clan; he had heard it before from others, how she and Swansong had been kittypets that had run away together, and found two tiny kits that they adopted, how Swansong was killed by Nightshade in cold blood. But it wasn't something he thought about, on a day-to-day basis; to him, she had always been a warrior, had always been a member of the Clan, had never suffered any sort of terrible loss.

"He couldn't come," she murmured. "He…hasn't been feeling well. I told him he should rest. I said I'd just pop in, but…I can't leave him, not like this." She reached down, rasping her tongue over her son's muzzle, but he did not stir.

_Is Stormshadow ill too? _Spiderpaw wondered, and felt a pang; the last thing they needed was to lose the gray tom's strength in addition to everything else.

"It's a mess, isn't it?" she asked with a helpless little laugh. "Everything's a mess. We go on with our lives, tread through every day and try to keep our heads up, but things like this can happen at any moment. There's no guarantee any of us will ever see nightfall, but we just keep moving on, plodding ahead like we have all the time in the world, as though if we're careful and smart and strong nothing bad will ever happen. But it's just not true, Spiderpaw, it's not. Fireblaze liked Leopardpaw quite a bit, I know he did, and now he might never get to tell her…." She glanced at him again, her honeyed eyes dark with grief. "Don't let this happen to you, Spiderpaw. None of us have as much time as we think."

Panic fluttered through him then, and he found himself on his paws. The den seemed too small, too tight, and he could only stammer an apology to her, before he backed out, fleeing the bloody nursery, the place that had once been a safe haven, a place of quiet and the scent of milk.

He stood in camp, looking around wildly as though some option would present itself to him. It had to tell his father, he _had _to, and yet he could not, not so long as there was even the faintest doubt, the faintest wondering. Leopardpaw hadn't _left, _even when she knew it would all be for naught. She hadn't left, and he knew it wasn't just out of safety, of having somewhere to stay. She was strong, she could take care of herself, she didn't need their barren forest.

So, why?

He wanted to talk to Blackfeather, wanted to ask her what she thought – she knew more of the Clan's secrest than most – but Petalcloud's words still hovered in his mind, sending a tingle of unease down his spine. He knew what she had been alluding to, knew the rumors that ran around camp about him and the black she-cat, but he wasn't ready to face them. Not yet.

There was only one cat he could think of going to for advice, and even though it was a long shot, even though Jaggedclaw was probably unconscious, he had no other choice. With one last glance towards the nursery, he rushed to the medicine den, his breath tight in his throat.

As he entered, he was struck by the eerie stillness of the shadowed den. There was not silence – the breathing of the sick cats was painful, rattling, and all too loud – but there was hardly any movement in the den, only the slow rise and fall of labored flanks. Shimmerfrost had joined the sleeping, her nose tucked primly between her paws; for once, she seemed almost relaxed, and he was reminded of how young she was, just barely older than Thistlethorn.

He spotted Jaggedclaw near the back of the den, and his heart clenched as he heard the older tom wheeze. He approached with caution, weaving around the slumbering medicine cat to approach the older tom's broad flank.

"Jaggedclaw?" he whispered, but his voice was barely a squeak above the others' breathing. He said the tom's name again, more loudly, but received no response. Glancing anxiously over his shoulder towards Shimmerfrost, he reached out, touching the tom's side with one paw. It rippled under his touch, and he drew back, holding his breath as Jaggedclaw's girth shifted. One dull eye glinted at him in the darkness as the older tom turned his head with a low cough.

"Spiderpaw?" he grunted, his voice thick and confused. "Where…?"

"You're in the medicine den. They brought you here yesterday." He swallowed. "Shimmerfrost says you're very ill. Very, very ill."

Jaggedclaw didn't seem surprised; rather, grim resolution hardened his face. "You should go. You'll catch it too."

"I-I know, but…I need someone to talk to." Jaggedclaw opened his mouth to object, but Spiderpaw rushed forward, "Please. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't important. It is, it really is."

The elder didn't agree, but didn't object, only stared him down with his single eye that was growing ever sharper, despite the spasms that wracked his broad body. So Spiderpaw began to talk, the words tumbling out of him like a brook, spilling over his paws and mixing with the dust and shadows. Jaggedclaw listened without a word, even as Spiderpaw finished with Leopardpaw's words and moved onto Petalcloud's. His face was impassive as the little apprentice finally finished, panting with the effort.

"We're all damned fools, aren't we?" the elder said after a brief lull, turning his head to choke out a few more coughs before he looked back at the black tom. "We're all trapped in something, even if we don't know it. Ensnared by stronger cats. Webbed in emotions, ties we can't even see. If StarClan does exist, I bet they're laughing at every moment." He shook his head. "You need to tell your father. But you know that."

"I do." His voice was quiet, and he cast his eyes downwards. "I should be telling him right now, I know that, but…I can't quite believe it."

"Isn't it what you were saying all along?"

"Yes, but…." _But it's one thing to think it. It's another for it to be _true.

"I suppose there's no rush," Jaggedclaw growled. "She can't hurt anyone in her condition. She's not going to murder your father anytime soon. There might be more to it, more that she can tell you, if you get it out of her."

He nodded. "That's what I was thinking, too. She couldn't have done it all by herself. She couldn't have guaranteed there would be a good time to do it…and how could she make sure no one would stop her, if she attacked him during the warrior ceremony? The whole Clan's there. They'd all be poised to stop her, after what happened with Chillpaw. _Someone _would have to get there before…." He paused, then, as something occurred to him. _Fewer in numbers. _

It was a little too convenient, wasn't it, that several members of the Clan were gone while she was plotting? Members like Thistlethorn, who would be quick and aggressive if he sensed even the smallest danger towards Eaglestrike?

But she couldn't have arranged the journey herself. That didn't make sense. Leopardpaw didn't wield that sort of influence. She wasn't the one who had brought up the idea of a journey in the first place.

Icy fear stabbed him, and he turned, looking at Shimmerfrost over his shoulder. He saw her relaxed expression, her slightly slackened jaw, and tried to imagine her with Leopardpaw, conspiring together. It had been the medicine cats who had stepped forward, after all. It had been them that had brought up the prophecy, had said that four cats from both Clans had to go on their strange journey. It wasn't something Leopardpaw could have known would happen in advance, but it was all too convenient to be coincidence.

_But Shimmerfrost wasn't with her, _he thought, remembering how Leopardpaw had gone after the medicine cat, how she had tried to convince her to turn against the Clan. _Leopardpaw tried turning her _after _the journeying cats had already left. Shimmerfrost couldn't have been working with her then._

_But that only leaves…._

Her grinning face entered his mind, eyes chipper and bright against her blue-gray fur, and his stomach churned. It couldn't be right, couldn't be her, not his friend, not his Bluepaw. She had stood with him when no one else had. She had pulled him out of his funks, and urged him to make friends with others. She had tried to teach him what true respect meant, even though it had been a futile effort, back then.

_It can't be her. Oh, StarClan, don't let it be her. _

"What is it?" Jaggedclaw's single eye scanned his face.

"It's…it's crazy," Spiderpaw meowed, shaking his head. "It can't be right…Bluepaw would never…."

The older tom blinked. "You think Leopardpaw had inside help? You think Bluepaw might be a traitor?"

His pelt bristled at the accusation. "Of course not. She would never do something like that, never. The journey was just a coincidence. It had to be. I was her best friend, I would _know._"

He thought he saw sympathy glinting in Jaggedclaw's amber depths. "There were parts of her you never saw, I believe. Parts no one was supposed to see. But I told you before, I'm an observer. I saw everything. There was a guiltiness to her that I never thought much of; I figured Bramblethorn's cloud was still hanging over head. But, perhaps…."

Spiderpaw shook his head again, refusing to believe it, refusing to give into the doubts that niggled at him. "She just wouldn't do it, Jaggedclaw. I _knew _her. She could never hurt anyone, would never even consider letting anyone hurt my father or her Clanmates."

"Would Carmelo have told her that part of his plan? She and Leopardpaw rarely spoke. There would be little reason to. Her job would be to get the Clan cats out and keep them away. She would never have to know _why._"

Spiderpaw turned away, fearing he might be sick. He couldn't picture Bluepaw doing such a thing, turning against the only cats she had ever known.

But there had been times, hadn't there, when something had seemed off? When something dark had gleamed in her eyes, only to be covered up? When she seemed discontented, despite the smile she pasted on? Could all of that add up to turning her back on the Clan?

"I can't…I can't think about that," he stumbled. "Bluepaw was my best friend. I…I _liked _her…." His face heated, and he wanted nothing more than to flee the den, to race out without looking back, but where was there to go?

He was surprised to see understanding in Jaggedclaw's eye when he looked up, and he remembered, _He's had his heart broken too. _

"At least you've finally admitted it," the older tom grunted. "Bluepaw was special to you. Still is, even though she's not here. And that's a problem, in more ways than one. You can ask Leopardpaw about her later, and once you get your answer, you can talk to your father. Until then, there's nothing to do on that front. But there's another to consider." His eye bored into the smaller tom. "You like Blackfeather, too, far more than you ever did Bluepaw. You've helped her grow, and she's helped you. But you haven't told her. You're scared. And you don't want to let go of Bluepaw, either."

His face felt as though it was on fire, and he opened his mouth to stammer something, but it faltered as he saw Jaggedclaw's hardened expression.

"I love Reedrush," the scarred tom said, "but I might never be able to tell her. I might not see her again. She could have died on the journey, she could be injured right _now, _and I would never know. Or, I might pass before she returns. There's no way to know, but I have no doubt that I should have told her before. I should have told her before she left, before she felt like she had to get away. It's too late for that now. Petalcloud was right: there's no telling how much time any of us have. If you feel something for Blackfeather, if she makes you feel warm and safe and as though you could take on anything for her, you need to _tell her. _Don't keep waiting for Bluepaw to come back. Don't think about what-ifs. You have a beautiful she-cat right in front of your nose, one who cares about you, and I can tell you that if you let her get away, you'll have to force yourself to face every morning afterwards. She needs to hear it, before she gives up."

A bought of coughing seized him, and his great body trembled, fighting itself. His muzzle went back down to his paws, as if he lacked the strength to hold it up, and Spiderpaw could see weakness clouding his eye again.

"You see that fool over there?" Jaggedclaw grunted, flicking his ear towards Jaypaw, who slept on. "He cares about Blackfeather too, an awful lot. But he's not going to make it, Spiderpaw. He gave up his doses for Silverstar, and she took them for the kits in her belly. A noble sacrifice, to be certain, but it means he doesn't have much time left at all. He'll never have the opportunity you've got right now, you understand? Don't waste it."

Another spasm ran through him, and he closed his eye, clenching his jaw tightly as he weathered it, as he had everything else.

Spiderpaw rose to his paws slowly, still staring at Jaypaw – it was obvious that Jaggedclaw was right, as the gray apprentice fought for each breath – and he felt dazed, confused, unable to face a reality in which he only had one cousin, not two. A stone settled in his chest, and he turned away, heading towards the mouth of the den, only to pause as his name was murmured.

Jaggedclaw's voice was low, whisper-soft, but rough with pain. "If I'm not here when she gets back, you tell her. Tell her everything."

"I will," Spiderpaw managed, feeling his throat close. He hurried the rest of the way out of the den, ears pinned against his head, finding some part of his mind hopelessly praying that it was all a dream, just some sort of miserable, horrible dream, that he would wake up and find Sootpaw smiling at him, that Bluepaw would be waiting to share a snack, that he could patrol with Jaypaw and change Jaggedclaw's nest when he got back. But none of it was a dream, and he knew that almost certainly no part of that other life would exist again.

He stood in the center of camp, feeling another wave of panic crash over him. It was too much, too much for him to take in. He had expected a flood of triumph when he proved Leopardpaw to be a traitor; he had imagined it as a glorious moment, a shining example to his father and the rest of the Clan about how valuable he was, how he was more than a whiny apprentice who had mouthed off and gotten himself kidnapped. But all he felt was hollowness.

Bluepaw's eyes swam in his mind again, and he cringed. She couldn't be a traitor, _couldn't _be, because then everything she had done was a lie, just like with Leopardpaw. Everything she had told him, every smile she had given him, every time his heart had almost skipped a beat had been false, an illusion that he had bought into. He'd been duped, they'd _all _been duped, and it all felt like the punchline to some sort of cruel cosmic joke.

He wanted to hide. He wanted to be a stupid, naïve, adventurous kit again. He wanted to believe that the worst thing that could ever happen was stepping on a thorn while lost in the forest. He wanted to curl up against his mother's belly without having to worry about his friends or emotions or what the day might hold. He just wanted to _forget, _wanted to pretend like his friends weren't in pain, like his cousin wasn't dying, like a cat he had grown up with hadn't turned against them all.

He wanted to be safe.

Before he quite knew what he was doing, he was moving back into the apprentice den, feeling a rush of relief as he saw Blackfeather lying right where he'd left her, curled up slightly against the chill that had entered his nest with his absence. He lied down beside her, touching her flank with one paw, and when her sleepy golden eyes opened, he touched her nose with his own.

"I like you, Blackfeather," he said, ignoring his own fear, ignoring the way her eyes widened. "I like you a lot. And I don't know if you feel the same, but I've been dancing around it for a long time and trying to pretend it wasn't happening because there was just too much to sort out, too much to do…but I don't think I'll ever be finished with all of that. It's always one thing after another; that's just how life _is, _and I don't want to be like Jaggedclaw and have everything slip away from me while I'm not looking. And I don't know what's going to happen to us, if we're all going to get sick or be attacked by rogues or run out of prey or what…all I know is that I really like you, and even if you don't feel the same way, I had to tell you, just in case I don't get another chance."

It wasn't romantic, wasn't special, but it was all he had in him at that moment, while he was wracked with fear and confusion. He blinked at her anxiously, ears pinned against his head, and braced himself for her to pull away.

Instead, her eyes melted, and before he could move, she licked his muzzle just as she had on their last patrol, with care and tenderness.

"I really like you too, Spiderpaw," she said, then flushed underneath her dark fur. "I was just…I knew you and Bluepaw were close, and even though you said we were different, I wasn't sure—"

She stopped speaking as he returned the lick, and it was as though sparks were dancing on his tongue. She pulled him in closer, until they were tucked together, seemingly one ball of ebony fur. He could feel her heart beating against his chest, her low contented purr, and slowly, one by one, his anxieties faded away. Blackfeather had stood by him when Bluepaw had not. If the medicine really was a traitor, she had left him behind, had gone out on her own to betray the Clan. But Blackfeather had been there, had put her faith in him even after he had embarrassed her, had stood up to her brother for him, had fought Leopardpaw on his behalf and to prove herself. No matter what happened, no matter what path the Clan would go down – whether they were beset by further sickness or rogues or leaf-bare's chill – she would be there, as she always had.

And he would return the favor.

He heard a rustle behind then, and looked over his shoulder to find Robinpaw squinting at them groggily

"You two together?" she asked, her voice thick with sleep; Blackfeather and Spiderpaw exchanged glances, and then nodded together. He felt warmth seep through his entire body, tingling through him from nose to tail, and awaited her reaction

Robinpaw only rolled her emerald eyes. "StarClan, it's about time," was all she said, before curling back up into a slumbering ball.

**AN: Where does all the time go even?**

**Blog update in the morning, since I haven't for ages. I'm terrible. :C**


	65. C h a p t e r 64

**C**_**hapter **_**64**

Every part of her felt numb as they plodded along, paws sinking into the slightly damp ground. They had started out early, and by the time the sun was directly in front of them, they had found a sidepath that branched away from the Thunderpath. Reedrush had urged them to follow it, saying that it would be the most likely route to the Bonedumps, and so they had. It didn't take long to appear before them in the distance, round mounds of Twoleg trash brushing up against the sky, but Sootpaw barely cared at all. She couldn't seem to summon up the energy, not when Chillpaw was running circles in her mind.

She had no idea if the ceremony had worked properly, if he would find a new body, but did it matter? She had compared it to death before, and she still felt as though she was right; the Chillpaw she knew was no more. He had been erased by the Pool, scattered. Even if he was reborn, even if she met him again, he would have no idea who she was, what they had been. He wouldn't – couldn't – know that he had given up every part of himself to save her, when he could have just used her and left every scrap of himself intact.

She had lost everything on this journey. She had lost her family, lost her friend, lost the first cat she had ever loved, and she felt about to lose her mind.

The mood of the rest of the group was quiet, subdued; they all just wanted the journey to be over and done with. Ahead of her, Thistlethorn coughed, ducking his head as if that was enough to hide it. It wasn't the chilling disease – it had come on too quickly for that – but it would slow them down all the same.

The sky only added to her mood; it was dismal and gray, hanging down low over their heads and promising more rain to buffet them, more cold to chill their pelts, but of course they couldn't stop to wait the weather out, not when their Clanmates were depending on their return.

The Bonedumps grew closer, and she observed them with detached disinterest, noting how the road – old and disused – stopped at the tall wire gates. Behind the ominous entrance was the trash, piles and piles of it, coating the entire area like grass. It almost reminded her of wavy plains, save for the few piles that towered above the rest, heaps of filth perched above even the trees. It should have been interesting, even awe-inspiring – a sort of monument to something about the Twolegs, although she knew not what – but all she could feel was numbness, as if her mind was in a world of its own.

She realized the group had come to a stop, and paused with them, waiting to see what their move would be.

"As I'm sure you all have gathered, this is the Bonedumps," Reedrush meowed, flicking her tail. "It's a very dangerous place, according to what I've been told, so not of us are going to go. Rabbitleap will be staying behind, and Sage will be with her. Is there anyone else who wants to stay behind?" She gave Thistlethorn a meaningful look, but he ignored it, biting back another cough.

"Me," Swanpaw growled. "I think Bluepaw is still trying to make a fool out of all of you, and I'm not going to help her do it." Her fur was ruffled, but it flattened slightly as Sage murmured something to her.

Reedrush nodded. "Alright. Then it will just be me, Thistlethorn, Sootpaw, and Brackenpaw. Are we in agreement?"

The rest of the group mumbled their accent, and Sootpaw looked to Brackenpaw. He seemed nervous, but his eyes were bright with excitement as he stared at the two AshClan warriors.

"Let's go, then. Everyone be careful, and stick together," Reedrush ordered, before she and Thistlethorn turned, walking down the old road with the two apprentices on their heels.

Her green eyes flicked over the fence as they drew nearer; it was obviously too high to climb, but the silver warrior wasn't looking at the top. Rather, her eyes ran along the bottom, until they seized upon something of interest. "There."

She led them to what proved to be a hole underneath the fence, just big enough for Thistlethorn to squeeze through. The rough wire scraped over Sootpaw's pelt as she wiggled underneath, her belly brushing against the dirt, but she barely noticed. She stared instead at the trash and refuse before them; it almost reminded her of the forest floor in its dappled pattern, although the only shadows cast were from the higher piles.

"I'm sure there's all sorts of broken glass – sharp stuff, like thorns – and metal," Reedrush murmured. "Be careful. The last thing we need is for someone to cut themselves."

She began picking her way through the trash with care, finding several paths that, although recent, had been partially worn through the top layer of garbage. Sootpaw took none of her are, only making sure that she was vaguely on the path. Her eyes traced the sky above instead, until she realized that the garbage was eating away at the edges of it. They had entered a gap between two enormous piles, a manmade canyon to the cats. A prickle of apprehension ran down her spine, cracking at her numbness, and she was reminded of how the journeying cats had been attacked by the mountain rogues.

Movement sparked up in the corner of her eyes, but when she turned her head, she could see nothing. The piles of trash were mostly a mixture of white and gray, perfect camouflage for any creeping cats.

She saw another, on the other side, but again when she turned to peer up with both eyes, there was nothing.

"Reedrush…" she began, but there was no need; the silver tabby had already come to a stop, ears pricked. Next to her, Thistlethorn's hard eyes swept the area.

And then, they crashed down, like a tide: a dozen snarling faces, a dozen pairs of glowing eyes. They seemed to come out of nowhere, popping up from under newspapers and out of crannies in the trash, swarming down on the little group. Before she knew what to do, Sootpaw was being buffeted by strong paws, nearly bowelled over by their strange.

She tried to spring away, hissing, but there were more paws, more faces. They backed away as she tried to swipe at them, only to push forwards again, forcing her backwards through sheer numbers.

It only took her a moment to realize she was being herded – they all were – but there was nothing she could do about it. No matter how hard she tried pushing forwards, they pushed back, clawing at her muzzle until she was forced to step backwards and lose more ground.

She found herself packed between Brackenpaw and Thistlethorn, with Reedrush not too far off, all of them being pushed back. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw the rogues' goal; some sort of immense metal rectangle that was lying on its side.

While she was looking, one tom practically tackled her, and she stumbled back, feeling icy metal underneath her back paws.

With one last surge, the rogues pushed them back, cramming them into the container. And then, together, they pulled the door up from where it rested on the ground. Reedrush moved forwards with a cry, only to fall back as her nose smashed against the metal that rose up to meet her, snuffing out all the light. They were submerged in darkness, drowning in it, and Sootpaw was beset by panic – _the night sky and space of heartbeats and winding tunnels and twisting passages _– as the inky blackness hovered in front of her face.

She threw herself forwards, into the metal, and felt the others do the same. The container rocked, but it was not enough. They attempted it a few more times, before falling back, panting with futility. Only Sootpaw continued flinging herself forwards with desperation, even as her shoulder cried out with pain. She scrabbled at the door, but her claws kept getting stuck on strange ledges, sending more pain spiking through her paws.

"Sootpaw!" Reedrush's voice range out, bouncing on the walls and ripping into her ears. "Stop. We can't get out, and there's no use in trying."

"We're going to suffocate." Brackenpaw's voice was hovering between panic and forced resolution. "There's no light. No air. The four of us are going to breathe it all in no time, and then…."

"Relax." Reedrush's tone was low, and gentle, despite her own anxieties. "They're obviously practiced at this. They've done it before, but did you see any blood here? Are there any bones? Either they managed to clean everything up without a trace, or they aren't going to leave us in here for too long."

It was entirely possible that they would just wait until the group had suffocated and then take them out before their bodies decomposed, but Sootpaw decided not to speak. She wasn't sure she could force the words out anyway; all she could do was pant, staring ahead sightlessly, half-expecting to see stars and strange faces again, just as she had in the Pool. The darkness was not as crushing, but it was just as complete, and once more despair washed over as Chillpaw's face entered her mind.

"This is all your fault," Thistlethorn hissed. "You and your stupid chamomile. Your stupid questions. I said we should have turned back, but you wouldn't listen to _me. _You're going to get us all killed—"

"That's enough." This time, her voice was edged with razors, and Sootpaw flinched even though she knew it wasn't directed towards her. "We're not going to die. We're going to make it home, understand? We have too many cats depending on us to fail. StarClan won't let us fail."

"StarClan didn't send us out here in the first place," Thistlethorn grumbled, but his voice was softer. "We can't just sit here. We've got to think of something. When they come back, we'll rush them, understand? We'll give them everything we've got." He coughed again, a wet, ugly sound, and Sootpaw's ears flattened.

"They'll be expecting that. Best to wait and see what happens," Reedrush meowed. "Now, we need to conserve our air, just in case. No more talking. Just relax, breathe slowly, and wait. That's all we can do."

Sootpaw flattened herself to the ground, ears pinned against her head. Every hair on her pelt crawled with fear, but there was nothing they could do, no way to escape. They were trapped, their lives completely in the paws of strangers that seemed to have come out of nowhere.

And they had done this before. That was, perhaps, the most frightening part. They had subjected other cats to this unyielding darkness, this tightness of breath, this creeping fear. They had attacked complete strangers that had shown no signs of being threats to them or anyone else.

_Is this how it is everywhere? _she wondered. _Cats fighting enemies they don't even know, ending things before they could ever even begin…doing what they're ordered to by someone stronger and supposedly wiser, not knowing they're only being used?_

She thought of Swiftshade, and felt a pang. _You'll never see him again. He came through for you, but he couldn't pass all the tests. He and Shrew will never make it. They're die in the Dark Forest, disappear just like Nettlefrost, just like…._

She bit her tongue; it hurt less than the thoughts lashing over her mind like whips, distracted her for a moment. She still couldn't wrap her head around it, that she would never see him again – not the _real _him, the one she had cared for. If the ceremony had worked, he was better off. She knew that. He wouldn't want to know what he had been, the tortured creature that had started this great ball rolling in the first place. He wouldn't want to know about the blood he had shed, the lives he had ruined. It would be cruel to tell him, even if she did see him in his new life.

Part of her wondered if she would be strong enough not to.

The moments ticked by painfully slowly; the only thing she could hear was the breathing of her companions, the quiet coughs coming from Thistlethorn. She remained perfectly still, barely breathing at all, every part of her body humming with the desire to throw herself at the wall again, as if it would do any good.

Then, finally, there were noises outside; paws shuffling over the debris, crunching on the trash scattered around their prison. The four cats tensed, coiling their muscles, ready to defend themselves if necessary.

A seam of light burst over them as the door cracked, and sweet air rushed in. The door fell to the ground with a thud, and Sootpaw sucked in an eager breath. None of them rushed forwards; it was immediately clear that a charge would do no good. There were too many of them, too many rough trash-cats peering at them with a mixture of curiosity and wariness.

"What do we have here?" the cat in the front, a white tom with blue eyes, growled. "Name yourselves, outsiders. What is your purpose here? Are you with Carmelo?"

"We're not with that fleapelt. Let us out of here, before we rip your pelt off," Thistlethorn hissed, baring his fangs, before looking to Reedrush with surprise, as if he had expected her to reprimand him or cut him off. The silver she-cat remained silent, staring at the white tom with her mouth slightly open, eyes narrowed as if she was trying to peer through his dirty fur and hostile eyes.

"Blitz?" she whispered, and confusion washed over the tom's face.

"How do you….By the gods, Reed, is that you?" His expression shifted from confusion to delight in a mere instant. "It is! Reed! It is really is you!"

He moved towards her, a grin on his face, but she shrank back, and his enthusiasm faded. "Oh. Uh." He glanced at the cats over his shoulder. "It's okay, guys. I know her, and she wouldn't be hanging out with anyone too bad. I'll figure this out, okay?"

The others nodded, but still looked suspicious, and although some drifted away, others remained, eying the outsiders warily.

"Sorry about that, Reed," the white tom began, but was cut off by Thistlethorn's snarl.

"You know him, Reedrush? Do all your friends think it's good fun to lock up innocent cats?"

"Whoa whoa, hang on there a minute, pal," Blitz meowed. "Look, we were just being on the safe side. A lot has changed here, and we want to keep it that way, but no-good low-lives keep floating through here. We've learned the only way to deal with them is to be tough early on, especially if they're with Carmelo."

Thistlethorn ignored him, swinging his head around towards Reedrush. "How do you know him?"

"He's Blizzardpaw's father," she whispered, and Blitz's eyes widened. "He was my best friend, when we lived by the lake. But we were separated, and I couldn't find him again...I thought you were _dead._"

"I thought you were dead too," he said. "I can't believe you're right here…this is incredible! But, er…Blizzardpaw…?" He blinked. "You can't be serious about that, right?"

Reedrush seemed to shake herself out of her daze, green eyes hardening. "There was a she-kit too, but she...she didn't make it. Blizzardpaw's healthy, though, and strong…and he looks very much like you. He has your fur, your eyes…oh, _Blitz." _She moved forwards, pressing her nose against his, and relief washed over him as he returned the gesture, the two of them purring for a moment before Reedrush backed away.

"You'll have to tell me everything later, but there's not enough time now," she mewed. "We're in a bit of a hurry, you see. We're looking for chamomile, to help the cats back home…oh, there's so much to explain. I'll do my best, but first we need to find the chamomile, if you know where it is."

Blitz ducked his head. "Yeah, yeah, I do. It's not in the Bonedumps, though, it's a little behind it. I can take you there, though, if you want. Again, I'm really sorry, but we didn't know…." He glanced towards the others. "They _are _friends of yours, right?"

Reedrush nodded. "They're members of my Clan – well, except for Brackenpaw."

His eyes widened again. "Kalan, you mean? Did you find anyone else?"

"No, Clan...listen, I would love to explain everything here and now, but there really is no time. If you could show us where the chamomile is, I would really appreciate it. And…." She looked towards the others. "There's someone I need to talk to. Afterwards."

"Yeah, sure. I'll help in any way I can." He bobbed his head again, then flicked his tail. "Come on, then, if there really is no time to waste!"

. . .

As they walked, Sootpaw kept her eyes on Blitz, watching the way he moved, the lightness in his gait. There were pieces of Blizzardpaw in him, beyond his pelt and eyes; there was the slight curl of his muzzle as he looked towards Reedrush, as if he too could hardly believe she was there, and the way he surveyed the Bonedumps with his keen eyes, as if it was a place of safety rather than the dangerous place they had heard about.

The two older cats chattered as they went, both trying to fill in pieces of the story for the other, explaining all that happened; Blitz had apparently ended up walking along the Thunderpath looking for Reedrush – in the opposite direction she had gone, unfortunately – and ended up at the Bonedumps. When he had arrived, it had been a reckless, violent place, with cats fighting for every scrap of prey or territory, but it had changed much in the last year or so, partially thanks to new leadership. Sootpaw tuned most of it out after awhile – Reedrush wasn't saying anything new, and she didn't know enough of Blitz to care about his journey, when she had other things to think about – but her attention immediately snapped back as she heard "Bullet."

She was not the only one who had regained interest; Thistlethorn had come to a complete stop, staring at the white tom.

"Bullet?" he rasped. "That's the tom who's taken over? Are you sure?"

Blitz nodded. "Yeah, of course I'm sure. He used to live here, when he was younger, back when it was wild. He left a long time ago, apparently – no one here remembers why, it was too long ago; there aren't very many cats still alive from that time, honestly – but he came back…oh, I don't know, a year ago? He already knew everything about this place, and he kinda took charge. He's not really charismatic or anything, but…oh, it's hard to explain. But yeah, he's the big cat here, though he doesn't really flaunt it."

"Is he blue-gray?" Thistlethorn's voice trembled with urgency. "Amber eyes?"

"About like you, yep." Blitz smiled. "Is he the one you need to talk to, Reed? Reedrush, I mean."

Reedush nodded. "I need to ask him a few questions about Jag—"

"Wait." Thistlethorn rounded on the female warrior. "This is why you wanted to come here? To talk to _him?_"

Her pelt bristled. "It's my personal business, Thistlethorn, and I already told you, it made sense to get the chamomile just in case there wasn't any—"

"You knew his name all along, knew who you were looking for, and you never thought to tell any of us?" He hissed, amber eyes brimming with anger. Reedrush opened her mouth to protest, but he didn't give her the chance. "Bullet's my _father_. He's the one that ran out on my mom when she couldn't remember him. He left both of us behind and never looked back. If I had known he was this close, that he was _right here…_.I have more of a right to talk to him than you do." He turned to Blitz, eyes still blazing. "Take me to him. Right now."

Blitz blanched, clearly wondering what he had stumbled into. "Er, what about your flowers…?"

"Send someone else to get them, one of your own. It's the least you could do, since you locked us up!" The blue-gray warrior's eyes blazed with fury, and Blitz's ears flattened.

"Sure, sure, I can do that," he said, shooting Reedrush a pleading glance, but she seemed stunned. He cast another helpless glance towards the two apprentices, but they only stared back, as helpless as he. Finally, with a sigh, he changed directions, leading them down another path through the twisted dumps.

The scents of cats rose up as they walked, and it became clear they had walked into a camp of some sort, an area framed by hills of garbage rising above everything else. It took Sootpaw some concentration to see the cats peering at them from all sides; they seemed to blend into the background, only their glowing eyes giving them away.

Blitz led them to an enormous cardboard box lying on its side, the flanks pulled down over the entrance. He tugged one back, poking his head and murming something, only to be shoved aside by Thistlethorn, who was quickly followed by Reedrush.

Brackenpaw looked at Sootpaw as if to say _Is this crazy or what? _but she ignored him, moving forwards into the large box as well, curiosity driving her. She didn't care about Jaggedclaw's story – once, perhaps, but not anymore, now that everything is so different – but Bullet had more to offer, now that his identity as Thistlethorn's father had been revealed. Bullet, too, had lost the cat he cared for most. Bullet, too, had faced a cat that remembered nothing of their past, their plans, their feelings. And Bullet, too, had given up.

It was difficult to see within the box, but there were a few holes on the top that allowed some light to seep in, and Blitz had nudged the other flaps out of the way. Thistlethorn had frozen as soon as he entered, staring at the cat before him, and Blitz took the opportunity to slip in.

"I'm terribly sorry about this, Bullet, but…they demanded to see you, and I know her," he nodded to Reedrush, "and it's all a terribly long story, but the long and short of it is that this tom here is your—"

"I know who he is." The reply was low, and thick, a growl running underneath his words, and the shape that was Bullet shifted. He moved into one of the beams of light, and Sootpaw saw his ragged blue-gray pelt, his scarred muzzle, his empty amber eyes. He was old – his muzzle was dusted with silver – but it was more than that. There was a hollowness to his expression, a weariness that she could not quite describe. He looked like a mountain personified, craggy and ancient and unmovable. "Go."

Blitz swallowed, then ducked out, murmuring something about getting flowers, and for a moment, there was only silence, as father and son eyed one another.

"Somehow, I thought you'd find your way here," the older tom said finally. "I expected it earlier, really. Dunno how – guess I just thought you'd have a feeling, instinctually know where your old man went. But that's absurd. Still. It's good to see you, Thistle. You've grown—"

"Don't call me that." The words seemed to tear out of Thistlethorn; his lips were peeled back, baring his fangs. "Don't you dare call me Thistle. You lost the right to call me anything a long time ago."

Bullet's expression didn't change. He only nodded. "I know." He paused, then, "How's your mother?"

That was Thistlethorn's snapping point, and with a snarl, he threw himself at the older tom. Bullet disappeared for a moment, their fur blending into each other's, but it seemed to Sootpaw that he had not moved when his son sprang, had not tried to get away.

Reedrush was on him in an instant, and after a moment of hesitation, Brackenpaw joined in, pulling Thistlethorn away. The blue-gray warrior was shouting, but Sootpaw barely heard him, as she stared at the fallen tom, watching his flanks heave as he sat up again, his muzzle bloodied, a wound oozing on his chest.

"You don't get to know a thing about my mother, you hear me?" Thistlethorn snarled. "You left her, you _left _her. I waited every day for you. I thought you'd come back. I thought you'd gotten held up, that it was just a mistake, that you needed a day or something but…you never came back. Never. _You left us, _you miserable foxheart! You abandoned a kit and his injured mother in the middle of a stinking _marsh!_" His tail lashed from side to side, and he tore himself from the others' grasps, but did not lunge again. "My mother didn't even know her _name. _I had to tell her over and over until it finally stuck. How could you leave me with that? How could you leave me with her? I was your flesh and blood. She was your _mate. _How could you leave that behind?"

"She wasn't my mate," Bullet said, and his voice – drowning in old pain, carrying the rasp of regret – chilled Sootpaw to the bone. "Not then. Not when I left. The cat I loved was already dead."

Sootpaw stiffened as though she'd been struck, but none of the others noticed, too intent upon the drama playing itself out before them.

"You piece of foxdung," Thistlethorn seethed, but Bullet only raised his head, stared him down with those dead amber eyes.

"You felt it too," he said. "You knew she was gone. Maybe you don't remember it now, but when she woke up – that first time, the first time she was lucid enough to figure out what was happening – you took one look at her and ran. I had to go and find you, pick you up out of the mud you'd gotten stuck in. And you begged me not to bring you back. It wasn't her, that's what you said. It wasn't her behind those eyes. It was some other creature in her body, wearing it like a second skin. And you were right. Brightflash died when that car hit her, and that was entirely my fault."

He shook his head. "I don't expect you to understand. You got over it. You couldn't understand that she really was gone. You adapted to the new cat, you had to, and in time you came to believe there were still pieces of her in there, but there weren't. When she looked at you, she saw a little kit she didn't know, and when she looked at me…." He took in a ragged breath. "She saw a stranger. I was her captor, her kidnapper. I was trying to keep her safe, but to her I seemed like a monster, someone trying to hold her down, trying to cripple her wings.

"I know she didn't even know her name when I left, but I tried. I told her over and over who she was, where she came from, what _we _were, but she didn't believe me. She couldn't grasp it, that she'd had an entire life and couldn't remember any of it, not a single scrap. It's not even that she didn't try. She just _couldn't. _She'd watch you play in the reeds, and it's like she was staring at anyone's kit, tumbling around in the earth. I'd tell her a story, trying to jog her memory, and she'd just smile and nod with that vacant expression. She didn't even know when to laugh, she'd just guess, and half the time she was wrong….I know I should have tried harder, I should have stayed, but I couldn't. I couldn't go to sleep with her next to me and have her pull away when my tail brushed her fur. I couldn't bring back prey and have her look afraid, as though I was just as likely to kill her as I was a mouse. I couldn't look up at the sky and remember how we met, and then look over at her and see that she was thinking of nothing at all, that all the connections and memories and stories we'd built together had just disappeared completely, like a plume of smoke. I couldn't bear to be next to the cat that was the shell of my mate, so I left. I left and did not look back.

"There were cats nearby to take care of you, that was what I rationalized. There were plenty, what with Twolegplace and the forest so close. You'd find your way to them, or they to you, and everything would be taken care of. Your mother would find a new life, maybe even a new name. She'd build up brand new connections and memories and stories to tell. She'd find someone else to curl up with. You'd become her son again, just in a different way, a cat that she had a common experience with. You'd both been abandoned, after all, and I thought…I hoped…I pray that would be enough to push you two together." Agony flickered in his old eyes. "It was all I could think to do. Losing and leaving has always been my way. I don't know why I expected it would be any different with her, but…."

Sootpaw's gaze flicked to Thistlethorn; he could only stare at his father, still panting slightly. She couldn't quite catch the emotions running over his face in rapid succession, couldn't make out what he felt.

"Call me foxdung, if that helps," Bullet said. "Strike me again, if that will make you feel better. I deserve it all and more. Do you worst, Thistle. Knock me down, bloody my fur. Be the monster that should have struck me, not her. Fix Fate's wrongs."

"I'm not going to hit you again." Thistlethorn's voice was lower this time, softer, though it was still edged with pain. His gaze dropped down to the dusty ground. "I want to. But I won't. That won't fix anything. It won't change you leaving us. It won't fix _her._"

"She never remembered anything? She never came back?"

Thistlethorn snorted. "No. You were right, foxdung. Brightflash was dead. She never came back." Then, his chin rose, and his amber eyes were as cold as ice. "She became Birchpool. She became a kind cat, and a loving one. She cared for me like a mother should. She hunted for her Clan, and fought with them when she was needed. She's even training an apprentice right now. She became a new cat, one just as worthy of love and honor as the first. One that deserved better than to be discarded like the trash you're wallowing in here. You should have tried harder. You should have looked past the cat you knew and saw the one that was lying underneath. That's what I did, and if I – just a stupid kit without a clue, just a tiny, hopeless thing caught in the mud – could do it, you should have too."

Bullet swallowed. "I couldn't. I know that's not enough, I know it never will be, but…I couldn't. I loved her more than anything. I couldn't do so again. Never."

His son let out a low hiss. "You're right. That excuse will _never _be enough for what you did. And I'm not going to listen to you plead any further." He shot Reedrush a glance. "Ask him whatever you like, then. I don't care. He's not my father anymore."

The coughs finally broke over him, wracking his frame as he turned away and headed for the entrance. Thistlethorn never saw Bullet's eyes widen, or the concern that flashed in his amber depths as his son wheezed for breath. He didn't notice his father reaching out with one paw, as if to move after him, only to pull himself back at the last moment.

The remaining three Clan cats were quiet for some time, before Bullet finally turned his eyes onto Reedrush. "Well. Ask your questions, then."

Her ears flattened. "Thistlethorn's very angry. I don't really know the specifics about what happened, but…he might come around. I can talk to him, if—"

Bullet shook his head. "I walked away from him once. It's only right that he should do it now. I'm sure if he saw me again, it would be too soon. Now, you obviously came here for something as well. What was it? I can't promise to deliver, as I am not really in charge – no one is – but I can do my best."

"It's…." She looked over to Sootpaw and Brackenpaw, seeming almost embarrassed. "You knew Jaggedclaw, didn't you? Jag, I mean?"

Bullet stiffened. "Yes. I knew him. I take it you do, too. Has something happened? Did he tell you to find me?"

Reedrush gave him a bitter smile. "No. He didn't want me to know about you, actually. He's kept a lot of secrets from me…to protect me or himself, I don't know. All I know is that I love him, and I don't care about what he did in the past, but…I still have to know. Whatever it was follows him to this day, I think, and I want to help as much as I can…but he won't let me in." She glanced downwards. "He was hurt very badly, about nine or ten moons ago now. He nearly died, and was permanently injured. There was a point where they thought he wouldn't make it, and in his delirium, he said…he said your name."

"And you came all this way to find me?" He looked both nonplussed and impressed.

She shrugged. "Our journey was intended for something different, but I'd be lying if I said some part of me didn't intend to find you from the beginning. I'm not the type to give up easily. So here we are."

"You love him, you said?"

Her chin rose, and her green eyes bored into his. "I do. But he doesn't think he's worthy of love, and although I want to prove otherwise, I can't, not without knowing everything." She took in a deep breath. "So. Here we are. I've walked I don't know how many miles to find you. I've fought rogues and watched a friend die and seen another become a traitor. I've settled disputes and hidden from the rain and hunted for hours just to find a scrap of prey. I've dragged them along-" she nodded towards the apprentices "-and a few others, and I've done this all to ask you this: Tell me Jaggedclaw's story."

Bullet was quiet for a moment, studying her, his amber eyes seeking every detail of her, boring in past fur and folly, as though he was seeking her core, her very being. His expression didn't change, but he nodded. "I can see what he likes in you. You're like her – Myrtle – but different. Wiser, I think. Still hotheaded, still a touch rash, but wiser. And determined. Few cats would come this far for a story…though I can understand wishing to truly know the one you love." His eyes darkened. "I'll tell you what I know of Jag, although it comes in bits and pieces near the end. You'll have to judge for yourself what he is – and they will, too." He dipped his head towards the apprentice, before curling his thin tail around his paws. His eyes became distant, and he stared past her, envisioning another scene with very different characters, not the three that sat quietly before him.

"I found Jag when he was but a kit. His family had been killed – murdered – by a tom that lived here. I've forgotten his name – perhaps I never knew it. Jag was hurting, in body and spirit. Few can live through that sort of loss, but he managed, somehow. I sheltered him, I suppose, took him under my wing, but he burned for revenge. He went and sought it without me, and was nearly killed for his efforts. He still bears those scars today, I'm sure. The beating only inflamed him, and I knew he was determined to see that tom's end one day. There was no sense in letting him kill himself trying; he needed training, molding. So I provided it.

"I had traveled a bit by then, though not extensively. The Bonedumps was hardly my first choice for a residence. It was a wild, cruel place. Cats fought over every scrap of prey, every slice of territory. Fathers killed sons, sons killed brothers, and the she-cats were caught up in the mess like everyone else. Few lived to a year, and those that did grew up hard and fast and mean and continued the cycle. But I was determined to do differently by Jag. Maybe I succeeded, maybe I didn't. He was still a hardened thing, but he retained some amount of compassion, I think."

"He loves kits," she said quietly. "Or, he did. Before the accident. He was there when I kitted—they weren't his," she tacked on, when Bullet's eyes gleamed. "He found me half-starved to death, and saved my life. He tried to help my kits, but…only one of them made it."

Bullet nodded. "He had a spot in his heart for young ones. They reminded him of what he'd lost, I think, or perhaps it was just that they were so much smaller than he was, so much fresher and brighter. I can't pretend to know, really.

"Eventually he had his revenge on that tom. He tore him apart, but in doing so, he started another feud, like so many others. That was how it worked here; you killed someone, and their entire family came after you. You'd fight it out for generations, until you forgot why you were fighting…things would cool off, but it would only take one false step to stir things up again, and the fighting would begin anew. Jag wanted no part in that, so we left, struck out together to find somewhere better. Safer.

"Along the way, he met a she-cat. A pretty young thing, but wild."

"Myrtle."

"Yes. They fell in love, though I was against it; I knew he'd get hurt. He was too prone to emotion then, swung to both extremes too wildly, and she was the same way. They were dangerous for each other, but too taken up in the thrill of it to care. I confronted him about it, told him he had to end things before they went too far, but he disagreed. I…said things I should not have, and we fought." One paw unconsciously traced a scar along his muzzle. "He left after that, went off with her, and I haven't seen him since." He tilted his head. "You know what happened between them, I take it? I've only heard bits and pieces, as I told you."

"She died kitting," Reedrush mewed, her voice soft. "He had to bury her and the kits, and then I suppose he took up wandering too."

Bullet nodded. "Indeed. For a few moons, I didn't do much of anything; walked around aimlessly, mostly. But eventually I was forced to accept that I missed having him with me, missed the companionship and missed his bright eyes, his damned optimism. I don't suppose he has much of it now, but back then, he was full of hope, full of care. Losing Myrtle must have changed him." He sighed. "Jag was…like a son to me, and I knew we should not have parted on such angry terms. It was my fault as much as it was his, and I had always hoped to find him again, to apologize, but…it was not to be, although I didn't know that then.

"I tried to find him. I went back to where we had split up, and tried to trace the two of them, gathering up his story along the way. I heard that Myrtle had died, although no one said anything about kits. I heard that he was something of a loner, never resting in any one place for too long – my influence, I'm afraid. And I heard that he did his best to help those he met." He smiled, but it was edged with sadness. "He always had a bit of a hero complex, even when he was younger. He wanted to save everyone, because he hadn't been able to save his family. I couldn't tell you how many cats mentioned him hunting for them, or protecting them from some danger – another animal, another cat, even Twolegs a time or two. He offered advice, or directions, or shelter…anything he had. But he never stayed in one place for long. Too afraid of starting more feuds, I think; the Bonedumps had taught him that was all that would come of putting roots down, and I believe he was always too wary of that to settle down.

"I was always a step behind, a hair too late, and eventually I lost his trail altogether. Everyone swore they had never seen him, a hulking gray tabby with more scars than a weathered oak. I finally had to admit the trail was cold. And then I met Brightflash." He smiled at the memory. "I was taken with her immediately. Truth be told, I was happy when the Kalan fell. I thought we had a future together that couldn't be replicated there. But I was wrong. Fate is cruel that way. After I left my fam…after I left her and Thistle, I had nowhere to go. I had no idea where Jag was, and I couldn't go back to them. So I went back to what I knew. I came back here.

"Hardly anyone knew me – live expectancy was short when I left, so almost all that would have remembered me were dead – but a few did, and that was enough. I was something of a mystery to them, a cat that was well-traveled and had seen almost anything they could imagine. The feuds had died down a bit by then; the simple fact was that there was no more energy for it, with the dwindling prey. Plenty of cats had left, scattered to parts unknown. I was the only one that came _back. _That gave me some sway, some clout, and I've attempted to reform things here and there – although, as I said, I'm not really in charge. No one is. That's something Carmelo didn't quite understand."

"Carmelo's here?" Brackenpaw asked, speaking for the first time. "One of the others mentioned him too."

Bullet nodded. "It wasn't very long ago. He paid us a visit; seemed to think we could strike up some sort of deal, that we would let Twolegplace cats live here…as if they would want to. I told him no, in no uncertain terms. We're barely beginning to build something here. I wasn't going to let him crush it into Twolegplace's image."

Reedrush had been staring down at her paws, but her head finally rose, once she was convinced that Bullet was done. "Is that really all? I…I don't know why he would try to hide that from me. It seems like his past was _good, _besides the beginning."

"The beginning would be all that matters to him, I expect. Every cat comes from somewhere, and he comes from _here, _a place defined by bloodlust and death. It's nothing to be proud of. He left it, sure, but I'm sure it clings to his fur even now. The Bonedumps has a habit of that; once it sinks its claws into you, you can never really leave. All he can remember is the death of his family, and the blood he spilled. Hardly something to be proud of." Bullet clenched his jaw. "He was always like that, too…optimistic about others, but hard on himself. He could do no right, he could never make up for past mistakes. He could only grin and bear them, and try to do better next time."

"Like with me," Reedrush whispered. "Something went sour between him and Myrtle…and he's too afraid of that happening to really ever…."

Bullet's eyes were cool. "I expect so. However." He leaned closer. "You walked all this way and fought rogues and weathered the elements to hear this story. Is that _really _any harder than refusing his objections? Are you going to let his reluctance, his fear, best your own spirit?"

Reedrush stared at him, and slowly, a fire kindled in her eyes. Bullet smiled, and sat back. "I didn't think so. Now. Is there anything else your group needs? A place to rest your heads, certainly. The sun will be setting before too long, and you're safe enough here. No one will hurt you, you have my word on that. That's the biggest thing I've had to work against, the violence we show one another and outsiders. That was the core of the Bonedumps' problems, and they still exist, but I like to think we've made some progress."

Reedrush hesitated. "We could use a place to sleep. I don't think Thistlethorn will want to, but even he has to admit it's better if we stay here than in the forest, especially with Rabbitleap's condition."

Bullet's ears pricked. "Condition?"

"She's with kits. Pretty far along, actually," Reedrush admitted. "We didn't know it when we set out, but the journey's taken longer than intended, and…well, it's difficult for her to move very far at all these days. We'll never reach home in time, so we were planning on splitting up the group, but there's nowhere that's really safe enough for us to want to leave her."

"She can stay here. I assure you, we will protect her to the best of our ability. No harm will come to a queen in our camp. And it will be the safest place, I think, if Carmelo comes back. He wasn't interested in us so much as he was the forest, really, and she'll surely be discovered out there."

Reedrush's eyes widened. "A-are you sure? You'd do that for us, protect her?"

Bullet smiled again, although it was mirthless. "Any friend of Jag is a friend of mine. Simple as that. You should go and fetch her, from wherever you have her stowed, and the other members of your party as well. We'll take care of them. And…." His expression darkened. "My son sounded very ill. Can _he _make it to the end of your journey, in his condition?"

"It's nothing more than a cold," Reedrush said immediately, but her ears flattened as she acknowledged the fact that the group had been ignoring: he would get worse before he got better, and they couldn't afford the days he would need to get back on his paws. "I know what you're offering, but I don't think he would ever agree to stay…."

"He might if the she-cat remains. I believe he would feel he has that duty." Bullet's voice was carefully level, but Sootpaw could hear the longing behind it, the tiny scrap of repressed hope.

"He might," Reedrush meowed, though she still seemed dubious. "I'll have to talk to him. We should go and get the others, before it gets dark." She turned to the apprentices, and flicked her tail, before looking back to Bullet again. "Thank you, sir. For telling me about Jaggedclaw, and for helping us…we appreciate it more than you could know."

Bullet nodded. "It's exactly what I've been trying to do here. An old tom's last contribution to this place, I suppose. Go on, then. Fetch your companions, before night falls. I am sure Blitz will have your flowers soon."

Reedrush nodded again, ducking out of the den. Brackenpaw moved to follow, but paused as Sootpaw's tail touched his flank.

"Tell Reedrush I'll stay here," she mewed quietly. "I…I just have some questions."

Brackenpaw looked confused, but nodded, eager to escape the box. He followed Reedrush, and she listened to their pawsteps recede before she turned to Bullet, who watched her with his hollow eyes.

"I noticed your pain when I spoke of Brightflash," the old tom rasped, curling his tail more tightly around his paws. "Did you know her? Do you, I mean?"

She shook her head. "No. I mean, I do, but…she's always been Birchpool to me. It's not that. Well, I mean, it is, but…." She shuffled her paws uncomfortably. "I just…I was thinking about what you said. About her being dead. Do you…do you really think of her like that? Like she's just…stopped existing, and there's an imposter in her place? There was never a time when you saw any part of her that you remembered? There was never a time when she was the cat you loved so much?" She could hear the desperation in her voice, and she hated herself for it, but couldn't suppress it any more than she could the tremor that came with it.

Bullet studied her, peering into her just as he had Reedrush, before he finally shook his head. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I meant what I said. Looking into Brightflash's face was like looking into a stranger's – but worse, because I _knew _her, it was only she who did not know herself. I tried to explain it to Thistle, but I suppose I failed…we were operating on two different wavelengths, she and I. I saw one cat, she saw another. I would do something that, to me, seemed innocent – brush against her pelt, say her name in a certain tone, give her a _look _when I was reminded of something we had shared – and to her, it seemed frightening, even a bit mad. To her, I was forcing myself upon her at every opportunity, battering her with references to things she had never known, suffocating her in memories that she did not share. I still acted as though we were intimate, in love – I couldn't help it, I _loved _her more than I ever had anything before – but to her, I was a complete stranger.

"You can't fix that. You can't make yourself feel differently. Every time I saw her, I was filled with that gentle hum of love, that inner fire that licks through your veins…and then it was followed by that crushing weight as she stared at me with empty eyes, and I remembered that she had no idea who I was, that she never _would. _That certainty was too much for me. I couldn't stand it, couldn't handle it. I was losing my mate all over again every single time I looked at her, and eventually I realized that if I did not leave, if I did not cast her away, I would go mad."

He stared at her, but it was as though he wasn't seeing her at all. "Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, wonder if she remembers any of it, but if what Thistle says is true, I was right all along. Brightflash died that night, and she never came back, never could. I never saw her again. It's not that I didn't try, it's not that _she _didn't try. We were doomed from the beginning, that's all. Nothing could change Fate's plan.

"I don't know why you've asked, and I don't know what you've been through, but that's the answer. Trying won't change it, won't fix what's been done. Sometimes you lose the ones you love, even when they're standing right in front of you, and there is not a damned thing on this earth that you can do about it. Do you understand?" His gaze sharpened, returned to her, but this time it was she who barely saw him. Instead she saw white fur, icy blue eyes, a timid smile, and suddenly the enormous box was all too small for her.

"I understand," she managed, before she fled, bursting out of it and into the open air, sucking in a deep breath of it as if that would banish her thoughts. She could feel it welling up inside of her, that panic, that sorrow, that grief, but she fought it back, pushed it down before the wave could crash over her, crushed it and froze her heart over just as Chillpaw had moons ago.

And then, something strange brushed her muzzle, something so cold to the touch it was almost hot. She tilted her head upwards, just in time to see a single snowflake flutter down from the gray skies, just in time for it to rest on her nose for only an instant before it melted into nothingness.

And then, suddenly, it was snowing, huge, fat flakes falling from the sky, and all she could think of was another forest that had only existed in her dreams. And then in her eyes the sky was not gray, but white like his fur, and the gaps in the cloud cover were blue like his eyes, and the wind in her ears was him saying her name, and the snowflakes brushing against her muzzle was his tongue against her fur. It rose up inside of her, clamoring in her mind, and something inside her splintered as the wave finally did crash over her, darkness closing her head and constricting her throat, pulling her downwards into its bottomless grief.

And she ran.

She bolted, taking off like a shot, not caring where she went as the icy wind howled around her, as the snowflakes buffeted her pelt, a beautiful event transformed into one of horror only in her mind. She ran, tearing over the garbage, kicking up fluttering papers and scraps of plastic without caring. She ran, ignoring the hostile eyes that raked her pelt like claws. She ran, until she met the iron fence and then she dug, desperately clawing the frozen dirt despite the pain in her paws, until there was a hole big enough for her to slip under. She wiggled through, feeling the fence grip her, as if trying to hold her back, but she pushed through the pain and barely felt the clumps of fur that she left behind. And then she ran again, into the forest, her entire body humming with pain and confusion and fear and the unbearable realization that he was _gone, _gone just like Brightflash, gone like the cat that Bullet had loved and the mother that Thistle had needed. He was _gone, _swallowed up by the Pool, and he was never, ever coming back, despite their promises and hopes and wishes. He was _gone, _and the only thing she would ever see would be a pathetic copy standing in his place, a copy whose life would be much happier and safer and kinder than his first, but a copy all the same.

Her vision was a blur of white snow as she ran, and by the time she saw the dip, it was too late. One moment there was earth underneath her paws, and the next, there was nothing. She tumbled down the bank, rolling down the mud and stone until she finally came to a stop with a splash, in the midst of the shallow brook.

She laid there, her entire body aching, letting the icy water run through her fur, numbing her from the outside in. He was gone, he was dead, he had been erased entirely, and part of her wished for the same. The entire journey had broken her down, bit by bit, piece by piece. Everything she knew was a lie. Her parents were not her parents, her brother was not her brother, her friend was not her friend, and there was no such thing has happy endings, not even if you tried as hard as you could, not even if you made up for your wrongs, not even if you redeemed yourself. There was nothing but pain and betrayal and loss, in the end, whether it was caused by StarClan or Fate or some other power she could barely imagine. Everything she knew had been wrong, every journey she'd undertaken had been a failure seeped in lies, every choice she had made had only caused things to grow worse.

She closed her eyes, trying to lose herself in the numbness, as the snow continued to fall and settle over her fur. Earlier she had thought she would leave the Clan, would run away, but she knew now that was foolish: even then, her failures would haunt her. There would be no escape; there had been none for Bullet. She couldn't let herself become like him, empty, with nothing and no one to live for. She couldn't be sucked dry like him, devoid of anything but regret. Whatever Chillpaw had said, however strong he believed she was, she had never been strong enough to endure that. So she would stay here, and she would wait, and if they did find her it would be too late. They would return and tell her parents what had happened, and they would never have to know whose kit they had really raised. Spiderpaw would never realize he had always been an only kit. The Clan would never question the hidden past of a white kit that might be born amongst them. Her secrets would be buried along with her, for Sage would never tell.

_Sootpaw, _she heard, and for a moment she allowed herself to imagine that it was Chillpaw, calling her home. _Sootpaw, _came a voice, and she thought of Moonpaw, who had turned out to be as much of a traitor as Bluepaw, but from within her own mind.

"Sootpaw!" came the shout, and she felt teeth grab her scruff, felt herself being dragged roughly back to the bank, felt strong paws pushing her pelt as though she had swallowed water. She opened her eyes then, but only saw a curtain of dark brown before her eyes, until the cat in front of her shifted, and she recognized the green gaze peering down at her.

"Oh, by the gods, I thought you were _dead._" Rook's accent was harsh, grating on her ears, and she closed her eyes again, only wishing that he would go away.

He did not, smacking her muzzle instead, sending stinging pain running through her numbed body. "Sootpaw, c'mon! Keep your eyes open, you idjit. It's freezing out here, you're going to….Open your eyes, c'mon!"

He smacked her again, harder this time, and finally she looked up at him listlessly.

"What're you doing?" he asked, his voice incredulous. "Didja fall? Did someone push you? C'mon, now, talk to me. Look, I git that yer mad Nightingale and I left you guys, but it was dangerous…I mean you had a traitor in the 'eart of it and you guys never knew! Never even guessed! How were we s'posed to stick with you? What if there was another traitor, and the second was smarter 'bout it, or—"

"Shut up!" she hissed, his faulty accent finally becoming too much for her. She sat up, ignoring the aching in her bones. "Shut up!" she said again, enjoying the surprise and offense that passed over his face, the incredulity in his eyes. "I'm sick of you, sick of your attitude, sick of you thinking that you're better than us, sick of you using some stupid accent to try and seem tough. You're not, you're just a regular cat like everyone else, and it's time you realized that!"

He was completely taken aback, floored by her sudden shift from ice to fire, and for a moment, he only stared. Then, his green eyes darkened, and he nodded. "I'm sorry," he said, the rough grate slipping from his voice like a snake's skin, replaced by the silvery kittypet tone that had always lurked underneath. "Nightingale hates it too, but…where we came from, in the city, talking like anyone of high breeding or decent intelligence is enough to invite harsh feelings, and it was simply easier to adopt this façade, to ensure we wouldn't be—"

"Drop that too," she growled. "You're not a kittypet, not any more than you are a hardened rogue. You're just a cat, like everyone else."

His fur ruffled. "This…this is just the way I talk, it's the way I've _always _spoken, ever since I was a kit. I tend to speak with more words than necessary when I am under duress, but…you are right. It is no better than hiding behind an accent, I suppose." He cleared his throat, clearly trying to concentrate, and when he spoke again, it was without unnecessary frills or false rasping. "Is this better?"

She didn't answer, only looking away, wanting him to disappear, to leave her alone as he already had once. But he stayed, moving so that she was again looking at him, his green eyes bright with concern.

"I know what we did – leaving – was rotten, but we had to. It wasn't safe for Nightingale, and…well…I was worried, alright? Worried about her, because of that stupid white cat. He thinks he knows everything and she's just so taken by him and…I mean, I don't _love _her or anything, she's like my sister, but I don't want to _lose _her, especially not to some puffed-up idiot like that…so yeah, we ran out on you guys, but it wasn't anything personal, not to _you. _I mean, I think you're pretty neat most of the time, and…and you were brave, when we ran into Carmelo, and….I'd like to still be your friend, that's all." He seemed almost embarrassed, and she remembered when he had come to save her, that night with Carmelo, and how he had spoken of the moon afterwards.

_The moon is bold. It strikes out on its own and doesn't need anyone else. It's large, but it still has its own elegance, and I think it's more beautiful than any star could ever be._

She looked to him, puzzled, but then it washed over her again, that icy, dark tide, and she found herself too tired to puzzle out whatever was inside of him. She turned away, rising to her paws, and managed a few steps before he moved in front of her again.

"Look, I understand if you hate me, or whatever, but at least _tell _me." He peered into her face, eyes anxious. "What's wrong with you? What happened? Were you guys attacked in there, in the Bonedumps? Nightingale and I have been tailing you for a bit, okay, I'll admit that, and we saw you go in, but we couldn't follow…are you hurt?"

She still didn't say anything, and a note of fear entered his voice. "Sootpaw, please. Just look at me. What happened?"

_What happened? _He asked the question as if it was some simple thing, some item she could easily explain, but she could not. There was an entire story to tell, a whole tapestry that had been woven, and she could not tell any part of it without the rest.

"What happened?" she echoed. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"_Yes,_" he said, and something about his voice made her believe him. "Yes, please. Tell me, and I'll see if I can help, okay? I don't know if I can, but I'll do my best, because I really…I think you're….Yes."

She stared at him a moment, and it was as though she was teetering on the edge of a cliff, about to take a plunge without any idea of what was at the bottom. But his eyes – so very different from Chillpaw's, and yet somehow similar – were locked onto hers, refusing to budge, and she found herself tipping off of the edge.

It began slowly at first – painfully slowly, with explanations of her dreams, of the repeated deaths night after night, of Moonpaw, who had been her only comfort – but picked up speed as she went on, as she described the moon without a mentor, the prospect of the journey, the ancient cats that she did not know and who had failed in their own quest. She told him of how her dreams with Chillpaw had changed, of how she had met the other Dark Forest cats and agreed to be their savior, of the subtle changes that had occurred in some of them as she grew to know them and their stories. She told him of the events during the journey, those he knew and those he didn't, and how they had impacted her dreams as well; she told him of the ancient cats' every step, their every mistake and flaw. She told him of that snowy night with Chillpaw, the moment in which everything had begun to change – how stupidly it had all began, with a simple wish for snow. She told him of her father and what Bluepaw's betrayal had really meant and the ceremony with Chillpaw. She told him of the grief she felt, the grief Bullet had mirrored, and how he was right, how he spoke from experience, how there was no changing what had occurred.

She told him that Chillpaw was dead, and she had no idea what to do.

He took it all in, his face colored by puzzlement at first, but moving to amazement as the story went on. And when it was all finished – when she was spent, when the sun had set – he could only stare.

"Do you believe me?" she asked, not sure whether she should hope the answer was yes or no, not sure if either could help her now.

"I don't think you could make all that up," was his reply. "It's all so…I'd be scared of the mind that could, honestly. It's mad. So mad that I kind of _have _to believe you, because who would try to pass that story off as being real, otherwise?"

She waited, waited for him to swoop in and make everything alright, but it seemed that all he could do was stare still, as snowflakes matted his thick fur.

"Sootpaw," he said finally, his voice gentler than he'd ever heard it before. "I'm…I'm sorry. So, so sorry."

She moved without meaning to, then, burying her face in his thick, wet fur and trembling from cold and exhaustion and heartache. He didn't move for a moment, then rested his head on hers, as if that was all he could think to do.

"No one wants you to disappear," he meowed. "I hope you know that. Sage seemed fond of you, and that was even before he found out everything…and Reedrush likes you too, and Nightingale thinks you're pretty swell. And I…er. Well. What I mean is, Chillpaw and Bluepaw and I guess Moonpaw weren't the only ones that cared. You know that, right? We do too. Even if Moonpaw wasn't really all yours and Bluepaw turned out to be working for the other team and Chillpaw is gone…you aren't alone. I understand if you don't want to go home after all this, if you can't quite face all that stuff, but if you don't think you can…you can live with us. Nightingale and me, I mean. She trusted you enough to speak to you, after all. She really hasn't done that with anyone, and that's good enough for me. You're much better than Sage, at any rate, that pompous furball."

His attempt at a joke couldn't quite make her smile, but she thought she felt the tide recede a bit, thought she caught some small spark of warmth.

"I'd like that, I think," she said softly, "but…I can't leave the Clan. I can't just run off. I can't be like Bluepaw and forget where I came from, what really matters…even if it would be easier for everyone. Even if it would be easier for me. Even if the secrets would stay buried. I can't, can I?"

"I guess not." He waited a moment longer, before giving her shoulder a hesitant nudge. "They're probably looking for you, actually. They're probably all worried sick. You should get back to them."

"Will you come?" She looked up at him, her breath catching. "Please. You're the only one who knows, the only one who…."

_You shouldn't have told him, _she thought immediately. _He might believe you, might think you're telling the truth, but who would want anything to do with you know? You're drowning, you're sinking, you're crazy, and it's not his responsibility to pull you back up._

But he nodded, to her surprise. "Yeah. Of course I'll come. I meant what I said. You're not alone, okay? Nightingale's nearby, in a den we found. I'll get her, and we'll go back together, alright?"

Sootpaw nodded, not quite trusting herself to speak again, and pulled away. Rook looked down at her, then gave her a quick lick, right between the ears.

"Everything's going to be just fine, alright? I know it might seem impossible now, and it might seem impossible too, and even the day after that…but things will get better, eventually. I promise." He said it with the same conviction as that other tom who had made such promises to her, the cat that had held her fragile heart in his paws and crushed it – who still held it, if she was being honest with herself. But there was earnestness in his face as he spoke, an underlying warmth to his words, and again she allowed herself to be swayed by vows, because if he had believed everything she had told him, how could she not believe a simple promise?

She nodded, and when they padded back up the bank together and he caught her when she stumbled, she felt for a moment that she might be capable of holding her head above water.

**AN: Told you some of the Soot chaps would get longer, and sweet Jesus did this one ever deliver. Longest chapter of Chilled, probably. Sorry for the wait, blog update in the morning, & I hope you enjoyed.**


	66. C h a p t e r 65

**C**_**hapter **_**65**

He awoke enveloped in a dark pelt, and didn't move for a long moment, as if to make sure that it was real, that he hadn't been dreaming, that he had actually _done _it, told her how he felt, and she had felt the same.

Of course, the day had been filled with more than victory. Truths had come out, ones he didn't want to face – he could still barely acknowledge the possibility that Jaggedclaw and Jaypaw might die, that Leopardpaw was a traitor, and that Bluepaw, _Bluepaw, _of all cats, was an enemy rather than a friend – but had to, in the end.

_I have to be sure, _he thought, and slowly he inched away from Blackfeather, moving silently so as not to disturb her. _I have to know for certain. Then…then I'll tell my father. _

He gave Blackfeather's ear a quick lick, before skirting out of the den, blinking in the harsh dawn light. It had snowed the night before, he was surprised to discover; a light blanket of white dusted the camp, although it was not very deep. Idly, he wondered if it had snowed wherever Sootpaw was, and with a glance up at the gray sky, he asked StarClan to make sure she was safe, that she was warm and happy and would be home soon.

Then, he moved into the nursery, squinting to make out Shimmerfrost's shape; it seemed that she had taken over for Petalcloud the night before, but had fallen asleep. He nosed her shoulder, and she jerked away with a growl, claws unsheathing. It took a moment for her eyes to regain their usual iciness, and when she rose, it was with some amount of stiffness.

"Leopardpaw woke up again during the night," she said, rubbing her muzzle with one paw as she yawned, "and Fireblaze stirred for awhile."

He blinked at her, uncertain if either of those facts were favorable, but she didn't offer anything further, simply padding out of the den with a shiver. He moved to take her place, pressing his belly against the spot she had warmed. He glanced over his shoulder, making sure she was gone, before he reached out to prod Leopardpaw's muzzle.

Her good eye snapped open immediately, and he was surprised to see the swollen one crack open as well, for a brief moment. "Spiderpaw."

"I haven't told my father yet," he meowed, and his ears lowered. "I…I couldn't. Not when I still had more questions."

"Well. Ask."

"I was… I was thinking about what you said, about needing the right time to attack my…to attack Eaglestrike. And I realized the journey gave you the perfect opportunity, didn't it? Thistlethorn would have been right on top of you if he was here when you became a warrior. He saw first paw what could happen if you didn't watch a suspicious apprentice close enough. And Reedrush was certainly no slouch either. But you couldn't set the journey up yourself, that would be impossible. You had to have inside help. It was our medicine cats that came up with the prophecy, not PeakClan's." His eyes bored into her. "Shimmerfrost wasn't speaking to StarClan back then, hadn't been for moons…and I saw you together, once the journeying cats had left. You were trying to convince her to help you out. You wouldn't have needed to if you two were already working together. So…so that only leaves one cat…."

Leopardpaw gave him a bitter smile. "That's what I meant, about trust. Before all this, you'd never consider the possibility of Bluepaw – dear, sweet, precious, innocent Bluepaw – ever being anything but a ditz. But me…I'm fair game. I'm an outsider. I don't belong. Of _course _I'm a traitor. I could never be anything else."

His heart sank. "So…is it true? Was she with you? Was she on your side?"

"Not on my side. On his. Carmelo's. He enchanted her, like he does everyone else." She grimaced. "He promised her all sorts of things. Medicine cats being able to take mates. Spreading out their duties. Peaceful relations with the Twolegplace cats. No one would get hurt, not in the events he presented her. Everything would be peachy keen, and she was stupid enough to believe it."

_Medicine cats being able to take mates? _he thought, his face heating as he remembered how her blue eyes had glowed at him when they talked, how she had always seemed especially delighted to see him. Had she been like that with everyone, or had he really been special, after all?

He tried to summon up some sort of anger, some sort of malice, but he couldn't. It was as Jaggedclaw had said; Bluepaw had carried guilt with her for moons, probably even before she'd turned traitor. She blamed herself for Bramblethorn's death, and had spent her entire life trying to make up for it, only to apparently discover that she wanted more than what being a medicine cat could offer. No matter what she had done, she still felt like his friend, and he knew he would continue to feel that way unless she somehow proved otherwise, unless he could point to something she had done and say, _That is the work of a traitor, not a Clanmate. _

"Fireblaze trusted you, isn't that what you said?" he meowed. "He was different. He believed in you. He's like that; either you're with him or against him, and if you do anything honorable, anything at all, he thinks you're on his side."

Leopardpaw's muzzle quirked up into a smile. "You and your sides. All you Clan cats think like that…as if anything was ever black and white. You want to paint Carmelo's heart as being made of pitch, but it isn't. He's not a good cat, but he's not an awful one. He's trying to make things in Twolegplace better – at your expense, but you're far fewer than the cats he's trying to protect. And didn't you do the same thing, stealing the forest from PeakClan, just because some starry old farts told you to?"

"We didn't murder anyone for it," he said, and her good eye rolled.

"You brought Lion crashing down on their heads. If you think no one died from that, you're a fool."

"If you hate the Clan so much, why are you still here?" he shot back, tail lashing from side to side. "If you think we're in the wrong, if we're so blind and horrible and hypocritical, why are you still _here, _living among us even though your plan is over, done with, foiled?"

Her eye darted towards Fireblaze, and darkened. "I don't have to explain myself further. I told you what I am. Go get your father, so he can end this charade. No point in drawing it out now. Or are you going to torture me, in return for all those taunts and pettiness?" She glared up at him, spirit still crackling despite her vulnerability, and he felt some grudging sense of admiration.

"I'm not going to get him until you answer the question," he replied. "Or, are you too afraid? Too scared to admit that you don't think Clanners are all that awful after all? Too proud to acknowledge there's some good in us after all, that cats like Fireblaze have shown you that you _can _be trusted? That your old buddies weren't as loyal as you thought? I overheard Fern and Baron talking about you, when I was in the marsh. They didn't think they could believe you either. And the Twolegplace rogues didn't hesitate in trying to hurt you when we scrapped with them, did they? You were just another enemy to them. That's why your still here, isn't it? We're the only cats that _have _ever trusted you. We're the only ones that have considered you as something more than a pawn. I told you, Leopardpaw, you were my Clanmate. Fireblaze and I weren't going to let you get hurt, in that skirmish with the rogues, because you were one of us. And you know it. That's why you're still here. It was built on falsehoods and lies, but he and I felt it all the same, and you couldn't leave that behind, now when it's all you have."

Leopardpaw's eye burned up at him, and she peeled her fangs back. "Shut your mouth, Spiderkit. You don't know what you're talking about."

But he had already won, he could see that, from the way she glanced towards Fireblaze again, as if half-hoping he would overhear and wake up and tell her that no matter what she had done, he still trusted her, still believed in her.

"I heard you talking to him about Redpaw, too," Spiderpaw went on, "about how you'd go and find him. You knew it would raise questions with us. You knew the Twolegplace rogues wouldn't be afraid to attack you, not with Maggot in control. But you offered to anyway, because you knew it would make Fireblaze happy. You _care _about him, whether you like it or not, and that's what rooted you to the Clan." His eyes narrowed. "I don't think you could have killed my father, even if the opportunity presented itself. I think if you were up there, waiting to receive your warrior name, that symbol of trust, you wouldn't have been able to do it. I think if you knew Fireblaze's eyes were on your pelt, that he was beaming with admiration and pride, you couldn't have even considered striking someone he considered a Clanmate. It doesn't matter that Carmelo's fallen and Maggot's risen, because you never would have completed the mission anyway."

Leopardpaw's eyes closed, and she exhaled softly. "Spiderpaw. Don't do this, alright? It doesn't matter, don't you get it? None of that matters now. You're going to tell your dad, he's going to exile me, and I'm going to die because I can hardly get around like this. You're going to tell Fireblaze, and he's going to be disappointed and crushed and turn his back on me, and it won't matter, because I won't be there anyway. So don't drag it out, all this stuff, because it doesn't _matter, _not in your father's eyes and not in StarClan's and not in Fireblaze's. It's over. Carmelo's out, and so am I, and your Clan is better off that way."

"That's where you're wrong." His voice had dropped too, as he stared down at her dappled golden pelt. "This Clan was built on second chances. You're hardly more undeserving of one than Northstar." He rose to his paws. "Now, I'm going to get my father. I'm going to tell him everything – I'm not going to hold anything back. And then, I'm going to tell him why you should stay."

With that, he turned away, padding out of the den and into the warriors den, where his father slept, pressed up tightly against his mother, looking stressed even in slumber. He nudged his father, whispering his name, and when Eaglestrike's yellow eyes opened, he flicked his tail, beckoning for him to follow.

"What is it, Spiderpaw?" Eaglestrike asked, his voice thick with sleep as he sat up, yawning and giving his coat a weary shake. "I have to send the patrols out in about an hour, but I was hoping to catch a bit of shuteye before then. Don't tell me you had a nightmare." His attempted joke fell flat, and the smile slid from his face as he saw his son's expression. "What's wrong?"

He told the story quickly, without any extraneous fluff, outlining everything he'd observed – all the bits and pieces he'd noticed, the nighttime excursions and the hushed whispers and the torn loyalties –before moving onto her confession, and then Bluepaw. Eaglestrike's gaze grew harder and harder as he went on, and his jaw clenched more tightly with every word that Spiderpaw said, and for the first time, Spiderpaw felt a prickle of fear.

Eaglestrike had never been like Silverstar, never been so forgiving. He still cast Northstar hard looks when they meant, still seemed uneasy around the white tom. He'd always watched Leopardpaw carefully while she was in camp, ever since her first scrap with Fireblaze. He had always been the one to argue against Silverstar's acts of mercy, and Spiderpaw realized that by now, the silver leader was far too sick to change his mind, if he decided to exile Leopardpaw after all.

Icy needles of fear bit into him, and he hurriedly moved on, trying to express how he felt Leopardpaw had shifted, but it was too late: Eaglestrike had brushed past him already, padding towards the nursery with a bristling tail and flashing eyes, and all that Spiderpaw could do was scramble after him.

Leopardpaw's eyes were open again, her swollen one barely glittering in her tense face. Her head was raised, and she stared up at Eaglestrike as he entered the den, as he filled it with his anger.

"Is it true?" the gray tom hissed, and Spiderpaw's ears flattened as he heard the venom in his father's tone. "You're a traitor? Have been from the beginning? You used my kits to get to me, to worm your way into the Clan, and now that your plan has failed, you've tried to twist my son against me?"

Leopardpaw's resigned expression didn't change; she only glanced at Spiderpaw and gave him the smallest of shrugs – _What did I tell you? – _before she nodded.

"That's it," she said. "I lied from the beginning. I'm a traitor. I was supposed to kill you, in a short time." She spoke with calm certainty, her voice holding none of the remorse she'd held earlier, and it seemed to Spiderpaw that she was almost daring Eaglestrike to hurt her, to take her down, provoking him into exiling her.

It seemed to be working. The deputy's claws gripped the ground. "I was wary. I knew we couldn't trust a rogue that appeared out of nowhere, just a little too conveniently, but Petalcloud and the others made me give you a chance. And I was right, all along. You were a snake in our midst. A fox amongst the rabbits. Everything you did was just to bring you closer to beating us. I let you in our Clan, let you eat our prey and sleep next to my kits and let you walk the forest unwatched. I put my trust in you and—"

"With all due respect," Leopardpaw snarled, her voice conveying the exact opposite, "you never _trusted _me. Don't try to pretend differently. Like you said, I was just a little too _convenient. _You allowed me to sit among you, but I was never really one of you, not in your eyes. I was always an outsider, and not even a warrior name would change that." Her muzzle twisted. "Spare me the speeches and dramatics. Exile me. Drag me out of camp by my scruff, if that's what it takes. Leave me for the foxes and badgers. Just don't pretend that you never expected this to happen."

Eaglestrike looked livid, at a loss for words, and Spiderpaw moved in, trying to scramble between them, but the den entrance was too narrow for him to get past his father.

"She's not a traitor now," he said, voice filled with urgency and pleading. "She wouldn't have told us this if she didn't feel guilty. She would have just stayed. She feels bad for Fireblaze, and feels like she's betrayed _him, _and that's why she thinks she has to go. She dragged herself all this way just to make sure he'd get help. Why would she do that if she didn't care about him? Why would she bother if she knew she was going to be exiled anyway, if not out of concern for him?"

His father seemed to barely hear him; the gray tom took a step forward, fangs bared.

"If you want to be dragged out of here, I can arrange it," he spat.

"Go ahead," Leopardpaw growled, her muzzle dropping to her paws once more.

"Dad—" Spiderpaw began, but cut off as he saw it was to no avail, that his father had already made his decision.

Eaglestrike moved forward, reaching to grab Leopardpaw, then froze, as a ginger head rose.

Fireblaze stared at the three of them with unfocused eyes. He seemed bleary, confused, but he let out a low, rumbling growl as he saw Eaglestrike poised to snatch the golden apprentice.

"Wha're you doin'?" The tom's words were somewhat slurred, but his gaze was sharpening, and he seemed almost ready to leap up in Leopardpaw's defense, despite his damaged leg.

"Disposing of a traitor," Eaglestrike snapped, but he still didn't move. "Lie down. This doesn't concern you."

"It does. Leopardpaw's my 'riend. She saved m'life." Fireblaze's chin rose. "You're not touching her."

"Fireblaze." Leopardpaw's voice sounded tired, ringing with defeat. "Let him. He's right. I'm…I'm a traitor, alright? Always have been. It's what I deserve."

Fireblaze barely blinked. "No. You're one of us, and he's not takin' you anywhere. Not while'm here." He glared up at Eaglestrike.

The deputy seemed nonplussed; Fireblaze had always been dangerously fervent about his loyalty to the Clan, placing it above everything else.

"She was going to _kill _me," Eaglestrike growled. "She's the reason the journeying cats are out there. She would have let your sister get hurt, do you understand? She would have watched your family be crushed without caring."

The ginger tom didn't budge. "You're wrong. She told you where I was. Otherwise I wouldn' be alive. A traitor wouldn' have done that. She's not who you think she is. She's not who _she _thinks she is." He turned his burning eyes on Leopardpaw. "You can't see yourself, but I see you jus' fine. You think I didn't think 'bout what Spiderpaw told me? You think I didn' puzzle it over for myself? I did, but I decided it didn't _matter._" His breath was coming in pants, and he was clearly overexerting himself, but he plunged on. "You're my friend, and you're loyal to _me, _if no one else. That's enough." He looked back up at Eaglestrike. "You're not takin' her. We won't let you." He gave Spiderpaw a nod.

"He's right," Spiderpaw finally piped up, hating how young his voice sounded. "Leopardpaw started out as a traitor, but she's not one now. If anything, she's an asset. She knows more about Twolegplace than we could ever hope to. She knows the ins and outs and who is strong and who is not and…and she can help us. I know she wants to. You just…you just have to give her a chance." He hesitated, then said, "You know Silverstar would."

A tremor ran through the deputy, and Spiderpaw feared he had said the wrong thing as Eaglestrike looked back at his son.

"Silverstar gave Chillpaw a second chance too, and it's cost her at least two lives, maybe three," he hissed. "Are you saying we should do the same for her? A rogue who doesn't even share blood with us? A rogue whose only advocates are a half-conscious warrior and a tiny, hotheaded apprentice?"

Spiderpaw flinched at the insults, but he nodded. "That's what I'm saying. Leopardpaw might not be your flesh and blood, but _I _am, and I believe in her. Petalcloud was right, moons ago. You can't treat every rogue the same, like they're all a liability. Leopardpaw's proven herself just by confessing. She could have stayed hidden, could have floated on for moons, but instead she told us the truth, and she did it because she couldn't stand the lies anymore. She's not going to hurt you any more than she would Fireblaze, and…and you're _mousebrained _if you can't see that. Fireblaze is right, she could be incredibly helpful, but you can't even see it. All you can see is Chillpaw."

Eaglestrike's eyes darkened, and he only stared at his son for a long moment, before finally turning back to Leopardpaw. Fireblaze struggled to keep his head up, but he stared at the deputy defiantly, resting one paw on Leopardpaw's.

And then, the deputy's shoulders sagged. He looked years older, as he stared down at the dirt, standing in the den that had once been where he'd looked over his kits with pride, and where he had now shouted at his son in anger.

"An asset," he said quietly. "That would be an easy way out, wouldn't it. Still technically a prisoner, but a sheltered one." He shook his head. "Never thought I'd see the day when you'd side with a traitor over your Clan, Fireblaze. Or you, Spiderpaw. But if you two have actually _agreed _about something, I suppose I have to take notice. Fine. Leopardpaw stays, as a prisoner. When she's healed, she'll help us take on Maggot." His eyes were hard, chips of yellow ice. "It's becoming increasingly clear that these rogues aren't going to just go away, and with the marsh cats on our side, we might have some chance against them. I suppose we'll just have to wait and see. But you had better hope you prove useful.

"Spiderpaw." He looked back towards the young tom. "Go and get Shimmerfrost. Tell her Fireblaze is awake, although I don't think he will be for much longer. Wake her up if you need to. Don't disturb Silverstar."

Spiderpaw hesitated, then nodded, turning tail and fleeing into the medicine den, glad to leave the heaviness of the nursery behind.

It didn't take much effort to get Shimmerfrost back on her paws, and once she had padded out of the den with herbs in her jaws, Spiderpaw had looked for Jaggedclaw. Unfortunately, the scarred tom was sleeping deeply, twitching now and then with low grunts, as if his pelt was being prickled.

_Soon he'll feel like he's on fire, _Spiderpaw thought, his heart sinking into his paws. _No cat deserves that. _

He headed out of the medicine den quickly, unable to stand the atmosphere, only to pause as he saw Blackfeather hovering by the entrance to the nursery, looking nervous.

"Spiderpaw!" she exclaimed as she spotted the black apprentice, and hurried towards him, giving his nose an anxious touch. "You were in there, weren't you? Shimmerfrost just ran in and Eaglestrike's in there too, and neither of them will tell me what's going on. Is something wrong with Fireblaze? Is he…is he getting worse?" Her voice trembled, and Spiderpaw's ears flattened.

"Fireblaze is fine. He was awake, actually. But Leopardpaw…."

"She's not…she's okay, right?"

"_Physically _she's okay, but everything else…." He wanted to bolt, to turn away, but he knew he couldn't hide the truth from her. "Leopardpaw's a traitor. Bluepaw was too. They were both working with Carmelo. Leopardpaw confessed everything, and Eaglestrike was going to have her thrown out of the Clan, but Fireblaze woke up and defended her."

Blackfeather's breath caught. "She's a traitor? And Bluepaw too? Oh, Spiderpaw, are you sure?"

His gaze fell to his paws, but he nodded, feeling something almost like grief running through him. Even if Bluepaw came back to the Clan in one piece, nothing would be the same. They knew who she was now, _what _she was, and he wasn't sure the Clan would forgive Leopardpaw, let alone Bluepaw, who had grown up alongside them, who had been entrusted with their most sacred duties.

"I'm so sorry, Spiderpaw. I know you two were…." She licked his ear. "But Fireblaze is awake, you said?"

"Probably not for very much longer, but yeah," Spiderpaw meowed. "I think it's a good sign. He could talk, at least, and knew who everyone was. They'll let you see him soon, I'm sure."

Blackfeather's eyes darted towards the nursery, and her face was tight with anxiety. "I can't believe he'd defend her, though, if she really is a traitor. That doesn't seem like him at all. I mean, I knew they were close, but…."

Spiderpaw nodded. "He's the only one that trusted her, and I think she values that more than anything. She did come all this way back just to make sure we'd find him, after all. She knew she was going to confess either way, but he was what mattered to her."

"Is she going to stay? Is Eaglestrike going to forgive her?"

He winced. "He's very angry. I don't think he'll forgive her for some time, if ever…she's technically our prisoner now. He wants to use her to get into the city, so we can bring down Maggot once and for all, with the marsh cats."

Her eyes widened. "From an apprentice to a prisoner, in one day…I can't imagine how she must feel." She pressed her pelt against his, and despite his weariness, he felt some small spark of warmth as he pressed back.

"We'll just have to wait and see, I guess," he said, "but I do know one thing: if there is a patrol that goes to find Maggot, I want to be on it."

"I'm sure everyone will want to be."

"I know, but…." He trailed off, unable to explain himself without feeling foolish. _I want to prove myself. I want to show my father I'm not an idiot for trusting her, that I'm standing up for more than a traitor. I want to show that even though I trusted Bluepaw, even though we were best friends, my loyalties aren't in question. And I want to fight the tom that hurt you, and killed Birchpool. Those attacks had to have been his: they were sloppy, and Carmelo wouldn't have wanted to antagonize us if he was going to swoop down and be our savior. Maggot has some sort of grudge against the Clan, and I won't let him hurt you or anyone else. _

Blackfeather wasn't paying attention to him anymore; she was staring past him, and he turned to find Shimmerfrost ducking out of the medicine den.

"How's Fireblaze?" the dark she-cat asked immediately, yellow eyes brimming with a mixture of hope and fear.

"Better," was the chilly reply. "Him being awake is a good sign, but he's sleeping again now that the dust's settled." Her icy gaze flicked to Spiderpaw. "You shouldn't have gotten him riled up."

_It woke him up, didn't it? _he wanted to retort, but held his tongue.

"They just both need to rest," she went on. "Someone should continue to watch them, I guess. I'm a little busy, at the moment." She moved past them, towards the medicine den.

"I think that's good, don't you?" Blackfeather asked. "She sounded hopeful, or as hopeful as Shimmerfrost could ever be…."

Another shape shifted in the entrance to the nursery, and Spiderpaw made out his father's yellow eyes in the gloom a second before the gray tabby stepped out.

"Dad," he began, ears lowering, but the gray tom shook his head.

"You've said your piece. I've said mine. Let's leave it at that," he growled. "I need to make an announcement to the Clan…explain all of this to them somehow. Excuse me."

Spiderpaw watched his father pad towards the BranchPile, unease curling in his stomach. Defending Leopardpaw had been the right thing to do – he was certain of it – but some part of him felt guilty now. His father's shoulders were stooped with the burden he had to carry, and some part of Spiderpaw realized that the joking father he'd once had was gone. He'd stood up against him, argued with him, and things would be different whether they wanted them to change or not.

Eaglestrike yowled, and the Clan appeared, heads popping out of dens and blinking around almost owlishly. Their surprise was almost comical; they knew nothing of the exile that had almost occurred.

Blackfeather and Spiderpaw moved towards the BranchPile, sitting underneath it and looking upwards, pelts barely touching. Eaglestrike waited for the rest of the Clan to do the same, before he began to speak.

"I will not brush over this," he growled. "I will not try to soften it. I will not try to pretend that this is not a harsh blow for our Clan. It is what it is, and no amount of truth-bending will change that.

"Leopardpaw has confessed to being a traitor."

Spiderpaw expected gasps, expected eyes to widen and cats to go stiff, but the Clan was eerily silent. It was as though they had been expecting it, he realized: not her betrayal in particular, but some other blow, some other misery for StarClan to inflict upon them.

"She has been working for Carmelo as long as she has been here." His voice was low, resigned. "Her initial plan was to wait until the Clan was weak – when the sickness had spread through our ranks – and kill me, allowing Carmelo to swoop in with the cure and take control – which I suppose implies Twolegplace has dealt with this sickness before, however new it is to us. Fortunately for us, Carmelo has fallen out of power, and thus Leopardpaw had as well, which is why the rogues did not hesitate to attack her.

"This is not all. Bluepaw has been revealed to be her accomplice."

At this, there was surprise, even shock, rippling through the ranks. Spiderpaw chanced a glance towards the medicine den, and saw Shimmerfrost standing as stiffly as stone, jaw clenched, eyes locked onto the deputy.

"We believe Carmelo lured her in with false promises of change, assuring her that no one would be hurt, and she faked the prophecy to lead more of our cats away from the Clan, weakening us further. Presumably the cure was told to her, but she did not share it with us before leaving. When the journeying patrol returns, we will deal with her treachery; I can only hope she might have had some change of heart along the way, and decided to tell the patrol the truth so that they could again come home. We shall see." He sighed.

"Leopardpaw is our prisoner now, our spy. She knows more about Twolegplace than any one of us could ever hope to, and she knows the power structure within the city all too well. We believe it is possible she might be able to get into Maggot's good graces again, and prove useful to us when we take him down." His eyes narrowed. "Make no mistake of this: Maggot _will _fall. We have no choice now but to end his reign before it truly begins. It is clear he harbors nothing but malice for the Clans, and must be stopped before his influence spreads. And we will need to ensure that Carmelo – wherever he is, if he is even still alive – does not pick up the slack once we are finished. We are allied with the marsh cats; they will help us in this, and I can only hope that PeakClan will as well. Again, we shall see; it's too early to make any predictions. We will need to wait until Leopardpaw is sufficiently healed to become useful before we can go much further."

"How can we be sure Bluepaw's a traitor?" Stormshadow growled. "She never showed any indication of such behaviors to me."

"All we have is Leopardpaw's word," Frostfeather said, voice tinged with bitterness, "and apparently that's not worth much."

"She is." Shimmerfrost's voice cut through the din threatening to rise up like a knife through fog. "I never received any prophecy, but I trusted her. I thought StarClan had finally spoken to her, after wasting all of their energy trying to get me to turn back to them. But apparently they've been silent all this time." Her eyes narrowed. "Bluepaw was never quite content, no matter what bright face she tried to show the world. I knew her better than most. There was resentment in her, and guilt. I thought it would go away as she grew into her position, but I was wrong. She used the false prophecy to weaken the Clan; there's no other explanation for it. And what would Leopardpaw stand to gain from lying? It doesn't help her situation, not at all, because we can't prove it until Bluepaw gets back and we push her into confessing – for she will confess, if the truth comes out. There's no reason to lie but to attempt to divide us, and that's hardly one of her goals now, if Carmelo has truly fallen."

"We can't let her stay," Stormshadow growled, "no matter whether she's promised to work with us or not. She's a traitor, plain and simple. We can't make the mistake of trusting her again."

"I knew Leopardpaw kept secrets, but I never imagined this." Frostfeather shook her head. "Stormshadow's right. If she's capable of this, she's capable of anything. Letting her take even one warrior into the city would be a mistake. We're better off without her, harsh though it is."

"No." Spiderpaw twisted around in surprise as Petalcloud spoke, her voice thick and weary. "Leopardpaw's not a traitor. Not anymore. Like she said, Carmelo's fallen, and Maggot is more than willing to kill her. What point would their be in deceiving us? Who would be loyal to someone like Maggot, after what he put her through? I believe Leopardpaw is one of us, one of the Clan. She risked herself to try and save my son, then confessed her sins. She knew what would happen when we learned the truth, and yet she went through all that effort and pain to ensure that we would help Fireblaze. At the very least, she's loyal to my son, and that's good enough for me." She looked up towards Eaglestrike. "I spoke for her when she first joined the Clan, and I'll speak again now. Leopardpaw has committed no crime but sharing information with the enemy. She's hunted and trained alongside us for moons. She fought with us when we were ambushed. She had plenty of opportunities to hurt you, Eaglestrike, but she did not. Whatever she might have started out as, she is not a traitor now."

"It doesn't matter." The deputy's voice was flat. "The verdict has already been given. She is our prisoner now, not a Clanmate. If she can prove herself to us in Twolegplace, perhaps I will reconsider, but not before. Right now, she is viewed as a danger towards the Clan, something to be wary of as much as a fox or a badger. A guard will be posted to watch her and Fireblaze at all times, and no one is to speak to her unless authorized. Is that understood?"

He waited for the nods, before flicking his tail. "That is all."

He sprang down from the BranchPile, padding towards the medicine den – to inform Silverstar? – and Spiderpaw felt surprised, as Blackfeather leaned against him. There had been no stirring speech at the end, no hope, only a grim resolution. They were on the brink of war, and looking at the dejected faces and weary eyes, it felt as though they had already lost.


	67. C h a p t e r 66

**C**_**hapter **_**66**

"Are you sure?" Reedrush asked for the umpteenth time, and was greeted by the same exuberant grin.

"Perfectly certain!" Rabbitleap chirped. "I don't mind staying here at all; I know I'd only slow you guys down if I tried to tag along, and that's the last thing we need! Besides, Blitz seems like a sweetheart, and Bullet…." She glanced towards Thistlethorn. "Well. He seems nice enough."

Reedrush still seemed dubious, and she too looked to Thistlethorn, but the surly tom didn't say anything. His amber eyes looked mutinous – it had taken a lot of convincing to get him to stay, but he finally broke down after admitting he too would only slow the group down if he wheezed with every step, and Rabbitleap needed someone to watch after her – but he only clenched his jaw.

"Well," Reedrush said, "I guess that's it, then. Best of luck to both of you; I know your kits will be just beautiful, Rabbitleap."

The gray-and-white she-cat beamed, reaching around to lick her swelling belly, and a twinkle of warmth entered Reedrush's eyes.

"Seeya, Blitz," she purred to the white tom standing on Rabbitleap's other side. "Take good care of them…and come visit us some time, okay? Blizzardpaw would love to meet you, I'm sure of it."

Blitz looked nervous at that, but he nodded. "I'll see what I can do. Bye, Reed, and be safe." The two of them touched muzzles.

"Bye," Swanpaw meowed to Rabbitleap. "Don't trust the AshClanner to look out for you, alright? PeakClan needs you and your kits to stay safe."

"And so does Northstar," Brackenpaw chipped in. "He's going to be hopping mad when he finds out we just left you here…."

"Yeah, he will." Rabbitleap purred with amusement. "What I would give to see the look on his face – but me not-seeing is kinda the whole point! Still, you guys can explain it to him. I have faith in you! Just tell him I'm adamant that these kits will know their Uncle Northstar someday. That should please him."

Sootpaw eyed Thistlethorn, wondering if she should say something to him as well, but it didn't look as though he was expecting anything, and she chose to remain silent. She would see him in a few moons anyway, when he accompanied Rabbitleap back home.

"Alright, then, if everyone's done," Reedrush meowed, flicking her tail. "Let's be off!"

As they wiggled underneath the fence, Sootpaw thought she heard Thistlethorn cough quietly. She looked back over her shoulder, wondering if he had said something, but he'd already turned his back on them, padding towards once of the trash-piles with his head down low.

She couldn't help but feel a prickle of sympathy for the blue-gray tom. No matter how unapproachable he was, she still wished they didn't have to leave him behind, especially since it forced him and his father to live in such close proximity. She tried to imagine what it would be like to be so close to Blight, and shuddered.

Reedrush led them into the forest with confidence, her bright silver tail held up like a beacon, only to come to an abrupt stop as soon as they were out of the Bonedumps' line of sight. She turned around, and Sootpaw's ears pricked as she saw the fire in the she-cat's green eyes.

"Alright," the silver warrior growled. "Let's get something straight, alright? We have got to be fast. That means no breaks, no waiting, no whining. Nothing short of a tornado or an earthquake is going to slow us down. We've got cats depending on us, and that's all that matters. We've got the foxglove seeds, juniper berries, and chamomile, right?"

Rook, Nightingale, and Sage dipped their heads, the respective herbs in their jaws, and Reedrush nodded.

"Good. Now, if we want to be quick, we've got to work together. We've got to make sure everyone gets fed at the end of the day, everyone gets up at the same time, everyone is ready to embark when I say _go._ And that is why we are going to take this one tiny pause, to do something we should have done at the very beginning: figure each other out." Her eyes narrowed. "There's been a lot of strife in this group, from the very beginning. Rainwind did his best to hold us together, and so did I, but we obviously failed. Thistlethorn was the cause of some of it, there's no doubt, but he was not alone, nor can we blame it all on Bluepaw's interference." Her gaze flicked to Swanpaw, Rook, and Sage in turn. "We've got to become united, to join together on this and put our differences aside. So we're going to take a few minutes to learn about each other, to tell the truth for once, and then we're going to be on our way. I'll go first.

"My name, as you know, is Reedrush. I was born in the mountains – the same ones that you call home, Sage – but I was brought to the lake by my mother when I was very young. I was never too curious about my dad, because I had Ashstir; frankly, I could have gone my entire life without knowing just how screwed-up my family was." She wrinkled her nose. "But you can't change who you're related to; you just have to rise above it." She gave Sage another nod.

"I have a son, named Blizzardpaw. He's part of the reason I came on this journey, to make sure he would be safe. But there are selfish reasons, too. Jaggedclaw hid a lot from me, and I was determined to figure it out…to see the uglier parts for myself, and judge whether or not they really mattered. He said Bullet's name, once, when he was on the edge of death, and I thought this journey would help me find him. I was right, but…." She shook her head. "Taking it this far was stupid. Brave, maybe, but stupid. It shouldn't have mattered what Jaggedclaw did in the past, because I know the cat he is _now, _and I love him. I just…I hope he's still around when I get back, and I hope he feels the same, even after what I did by running off." She winced, obviously remembering how heated their parting had been.

"Anyway. That's me. Who's next?"

Sage dropped his herbs, glancing around the group and clearing his throat. "M name is Sage. I am the kit of Blight and Belladonna by blood, but my true parents are Minnow and Tremor, and I love them dearly. And my sister, too, of course." He shot Sootpaw the smallest of smiles, and she knew he was thinking of both her and Swift.

"I went on this journey for a lot of reasons, I suppose…I'd always been curious about the Clans, and I'd been hoping to hear more about you. I wanted to find new herbs, too, ones that we didn't have…and I succeeded there." He gestured towards the foxglove seeds. "I wanted to make new friends, and see new places, experience things I hadn't before….And do my best to help out along the way, of course. I don't know how successful I've been on that front, but…I can say I don't regret coming, not one bit. I miss my family, but I am honestly, simply, truly glad to have known you – all of you." He nodded to Rook, and surprise flashed over the dark tom's face. "I really hope that we can all work together, and make everything go smoothly."

"Is there anything you regret?" Reedrush asked softly, and Sage's eyes dropped for a moment.

"Of course." His voice was quiet. "I wish I had seen the signs with Bluepaw. I wish my temper didn't flare up as often as it did, even though I can usually quell it…I still say things I don't mean. I wish I hadn't taken so long to get to know Swanpaw." A smile quirked at the edge of his muzzle, and the ginger-and-white she-cat coughed with embarrassment. "I think that's all, though."

Reedrush nodded. "Well said. Who's next?"

The group was quiet for a moment, before Brackenpaw bobbed his head.

"I'm Brackenpaw," he said. "Northstar's my dad, Rosedapple's my mom. Lightstar was my dad by blood, I guess, but like you guys, I try to move past that. He wasn't a bad tom, but he isn't even a tenth of the father that Northstar is. Uh…." He scuffed his paw in the dirt, trying to think. "I joined to help my sister out, since she's PeakClan's medicine cat and has to be around all the sick cats. I was afraid she'd get sick too, and there wouldn't be anything I could do…but mostly I did it to make Northstar proud." His ears flattened. "He's just been through so much, and done so many amazing things, and I…well, I'm just kinda _here. _I want him to be as proud of me as I am of him, I guess, even though that's crazy. Um….I guess the thing I regret most was losing Rainwind. He was a really great mentor, always patient and understanding and relaxed…but he could push you if you needed it, too. He always made me feel safe, and told me my dad would be plenty proud to have me as a son…." He flushed underneath his golden fur. "That always meant a lot, and I miss him, but I know he's watching over us."

This time, no one moved forward to speak up, and Reedrush's eyes flitted over the group before landing on Swanpaw. "Why don't you go next?"

The she-cat's eyes narrowed. "I think this is stupid."

Reedrush shrugged. "Go anyway. I'm the only warrior left, so what I say goes, unless you want us to leave you with Rabbitleap. And Sage would _not _be staying."

Swanpaw let out a huff. "Fine. I'm Swanpaw, if you mousebrains haven't picked up on that yet. My mom and dad are both amazing; I didn't have to be adopted. I love them, and my siblings too."

Sootpaw winced as she remembered that Swanpaw's sister had died, and the apprentice's sharp eyes zeroed in on her.

"Just because she's not standing next to me doesn't mean I can't love her," the apprentice hissed, and Sootpaw shrank back.

"Sootpaw didn't mean that," Sage soothed. "I'm sure she's just thinking about what it would be like to lose her own brother."

"You can't imagine it." Swanpaw bristled. "You can't even begin to think about what it's like to know you won't see them again until you're dead too…to realized they'll never be a warrior, never hear their names chanted, never find a mate and have kits with you in the nursery and never know that you didn't hate them, you just didn't want to play all their games and follow the other apprentices around and…." She ducked her head, ears flat. Sage brushed his tail against her pelt, and Sootpaw was surprised when the PeakClan apprentice didn't pull away.

"I went on this journey for her," Swanpaw said after she looked regained control. "And my mom, too, to make sure she's okay. She was sick when I left, but I know she's still hanging on for us. She loves us too much to let us go, and this way I can prove that even though I don't say it as much as my sister did, I love her too. That's all I'm gonna say."

Reedrush nodded, then looked to Rook. It took him a mintute to realize she was staring – he was still watching Swanpaw, looking confused – but once he did, he dropped his herbs and frowned.

"You already know who I am," he growled, "and you know why I'm on the journey. What else's there to say?"

"We know why you came with us initially, but we don't know why you came _back,_" the silver tabby reminded him. Rook blinked at that.

"Fair 'nuff, I guess. Uh, lessee. M' name's Rook. I was born a kittypet, but when our home was reduced to ashes, me 'n' Nightingale swung out together to live on the streets." The two accents, one rough, one smooth, rolled together as he spoke, but he didn't seem to notice. "We managed okay, 'til we fell in with Adder. That was a big mistake. But o'course we left that all behind when we turned against him and joined up with you guys. And then we left…." He looked guilty for a moment. "We left 'cause things wasn't safe. But Nightingale insisted we foller you around anyway, just in case, since we dint have much else to do – it was all her, I had nothing to do wit it – 'til you guys went in the Bonedumps." He sounded a little too forceful in casting blame on Nightingale, and the pretty she-cat rolled her eyes.

"But, uh…then I found Sootpaw after she tooka tumble," he glanced at her, "and brought 'er back, with Nightingale. And since continuing our wanderings din't sound too good, we decided to tag back up again."

"Are you sure that's the only reason?" Sage asked with a twitch of his whiskers, and Rook glowered at him.

"Regrets?" Reedrush pressed, and Rook took a moment to think.

"Well…I _guess _we shouldn't have bugged out on you guys before. That wasn't very courageous of us. Yeller-bellied move, really…I was just worried about what would happen if there was more than one traitor, y'know? But I suppose you guys are loyal enough…uh…." His eyes slid to Sage again. "I guess I shouldn't have gotten so ticked at you before, when you were cuddlin' up to Nightingale. She's just my very best friend, and I don't like sharin'. It's been just the two of us for moons and moons…but I guess that's diff'rent now, and it's her choice, not mine."

The she-cat beamed at him, touching his nose with her own, and he purred quietly.

"And I don't regret coming back," he added hastily. "Not at all. I hope you don't regret havin' me."

"Not at all," Sage purred, before looking expectantly at Nightingale. Rook did too, readying himself to interpret her signs, but she shook her head at him.

"My name's Nightingale," she said, and the brokenness of her coarse voice sent a ripple of surprise through everyone but Sootpaw and Rook, "and yes, I can talk. It's just hard, and I'd rather not…I'm ashamed of the way I sound. But I've been told I don't have to be, and I want to try and work on that." She smiled at Rook and Sootpaw. "Still, it's a lot of work, so this will be short. Everything Rook said was true – I did pester him into sticking around, and I am very glad to be back. I wish we hadn't left, but I understand why Rook was worried, and I'm very glad to be back. I like you all very much, and even though it's scary making new friends, it's a good sort of scary. My only real regret is having kept this secret, I suppose…my voice might not be pretty, but it's mine, and I want to use it."

She smiled at them and then dipped her head, indicating that she had said her piece.

Sootpaw went rigid as the group's eyes turned to her; her mind was blank. She hadn't even considered what she was going to say, and for a moment, she only fumbled for the words.

"Um, I'm Sootpaw," she began, trying to stall for time. "I was born…I was born the day of the battle, to…to Ravenwing and Eaglestrike." The lie burned her tongue, and she saw it flicker in Sage and Rook's eyes, but neither of them said anything to give it away, for which she was grateful. "I…there isn't much to say, really. I was never anything special. I didn't even have a mentor, before I came on this journey…not a real one, at least." She stared down at her paws, one bright, one dark, and remembered her mother's words, feeling them sink underneath her pelt.

"I'd always wanted to be special, though," she said quietly. "I wanted to be…greater than I was. Prettier, faster, _better. _I thought this journey would make that happen…I thought it might change who I am. And it did, I think, just not in the ways I'd hoped." She winced; it wouldn't make sense for most of them, those words, and she hoped they wouldn't become suspicious. "I lost my best friend out here. I think I lost pieces of who I am. I've improved in the practical things, fighting and hunting, but…I don't _feel _better. I feel like when I go home, everyone will see the same old boring Sootpaw…like even when I becomea cranky old elder, I won't have any stories to tell, nothing meaningful."

It wasn't as though she could describe to any starry-eyed kits what it was like to stand in a forest illuminated by only a single pinpoint of light, or how it felt to have imaginary snow brush up against your muzzle, or how easily you could be crushed in dark, icy water.

"I think I regret coming." She closed her eyes. "I wish I could have stayed home, and not had to have lost Bluepaw like I did, right in front of my eyes…to not have to listen to Thistlethorn and his father try to understand each other, to not have Rainwind trying to protect me, to not have to think so much about who I am and what I'm doing and how I'm not really special and never will be, how I'll always just be that big, heavy she-cat that never really shines in _anything_ and always fails to protect those she cares about and…." Her voice broke. "I wish I was home. I wish I was with my brother and mother and father and still thought the worst thing that could happen was having to take care of an elder in the mornings. I wish I was _me _again."

The group was very quiet for a long moment, and she didn't dare look up at them, pelt crackling with shame. Then, she felt a tail brush her pelt – unmistakably Nightingale's, as no one else could be that gentle – and a muzzle brushed her other shoulder.

"You've changed," Sage said, and she looked up at him for a fleeting moment. "You've become much stronger, Sootpaw. You've had to face all sorts of truths that no one else has had to, and you're still holding yourself together. Maybe you're splintered, but you're not broken. There are plenty of cats that would have been smashed to pieces with what you've gone through."

Rook rolled his eyes as if to say _you have no idea, _before growling, "He's right. And you're definitely not not special. You're special to…er, them." He flicked his tail towards the others, twitching his whiskers with embarrassment. "You made mistakes, we all have, but we rise up from 'em. We become more 'n what we are. I messed up my first chance with this journey, but I'm not messin' up the second. You've got another chance to be who you want to. And you mighta lost what's-her-face – I mean, Bluepaw?" He looked to Nightingale to make sure he was right. "But you've got us. I'm sure your brother's pretty cool, but he's no Rook." He grinned at her, and for whatever reason, his off-brand sense of humor was almost enough to make her smile.

"You might not have had a mentor before the journey, but you have one now. I can promise you that." Reedrush's voice was firm, but her green eyes were gentle. "You'll never be a speedy little thing like your brother, but that doesn't make you any less useful. And as for protecting those you care about, with your potential strength and the proper training, you could take on any opponent you liked. No one can blame you for Rainwind's death. Yes, you made mistakes, but we all have. We all have boulders on our backs and storm clouds in our minds, but sometimes those can be helpful. Sometimes they can prevent us from making the same mistakes over, and that's more valuable than anything."

"Rainwind's in StarClan too," Brackenpaw said, "and I'm sure if he was here right now, he'd tell you not to worry."

"Your family waiting back home will be very proud of you, I'm sure," Sage said.

"I'm sure your family knows you care about them," Swanpaw said quietly, "and you went on this journey as much for them as you did yourself. Don't try to pretend otherwise. We're all here because we care about someone."

"And who needs elder-stories?" Rook interjected. "Just make up some! Kits won't be able to tell the diff'rence."

"Besides, if you don't think kits want to hear about finding a secret burial ground in the middle of a mountain—" Brackenpaw began, only to be cut off by Rook again,

"—or fighting off a bunch of rogues—"

"—or being the one to discover a traitor in our midst—" Sage injected,

"—or wandering through the Bonedumps—" Reedrush mewed, glancing towards Brackenpaw as he opened his mouth to speak again.

"—then you're crazy," the golden tom purred. "Kits will eat that stuff up for _years _to come. It's an amazing story, and I'm sure you can tell it."

She stared at them, eyes flitting from face to face, overwhelmed by the warmth she saw there. It seemed to flow through her, illuminating her from the inside out like a bright torch, and this time she did smile.

"Thank you," she sad, "all of you, truly. You don't know how much this all means to me."

"We do," Reedrush said, "and that's why it matters. That's why it needs to be said."

Sootpaw held onto the glow for a moment longer, before the silver tabby cleared her throat again.

"I think this went well – better than I'd hoped, honestly," she meowed, "but we do need to be on our way. I think I can trust you now, to work together; we're all more similar than we thought, aren't we? Our histories, our reasons for coming, our regrets…they all overlap. It's the same with any cat; talk to them long enough, and you'll find something you have in common. That's the key to any group, whether it's a flock of journeyers or a band of rogues or a Clan: the similarities are far more important than the differences."

Sootpaw thought back to the journeying cats in her dreams, and the Dark Forest cats as well; it was the similarities that had mattered for both of them. It was what had kept the journeying cats together – the warrior code, their time living in the Clans, the goal they all shared – and it was what had enabled some of the Dark Forest cats to turn – Swiftshade's love for his family, Shrew's longing for a better life, Nettlefrost's guilt over past sins, Chillpaw's desire for a second chance were all things she felt too. That was all that mattered, really, the things that bound them together, rather than cut them apart.

Maybe there was hope for them after all, their little journeying group. Maybe they could all get home in one piece and have their families waiting for them and be safe and happy again. Maybe she wouldn't have to pretend the journey had never happened. Maybe she could find some meaning in it after all, some semblance of hope.

Maybe that was enough.

. . .

They didn't stop again until the sun was sinking down towards the horizon. It was only then that Reedrush allowed them to break into groups and hunt. It was difficult, since the sun was nearly gone and it was cold enough that most of the prey was hiding in burrows or tunnels, but Sootpaw managed to barely nab a skinny vole. They ate together as one large group, too tired to speak.

Sootpaw settled down to sleep next to Sage, when everyone was finished. She was a bit nervous about Swanpaw on his other side – she had been surprised by the she-cat's words earlier, but was still wary of her – but her anxiety was replaced with surprise as Rook settled down next to her, a smile flickering on his dark muzzle.

"Don't mind, do ya?" he asked, ruffling his thick fur. "Cold's quite stark, doncha think? Real nippy."

She had to chuckle at the odd mixture of accents in his voice, but nodded. "It's fine, I don't mind. Nightingale, are you sure you won't be cold?"

Nightingale shook her head from Rook's other side, leaning into his thick pelt with a quiet purr. Rook moved a bit closer to Sootpaw so that she was sandwiched between him and Sage. She welcomed their warm fur – the dark tom was right about the chilliness of the night, as frozen snow melted against their stomachs – and closed her eyes, feeling her body relax.

She was awoken hours later by urgent shaking. Sootpaw opened her eyes to find Rook peering down at her with worry glinting in his green eyes.

"Something's wrong with Nightingale," he whispered. Sootpaw sat up, rubbing her muzzle with one paw as she blinked the sleep out of her eyes.

"What is it?" she asked, peering past him towards the pointed she-cat, whose blue eyes were round with fear and confusion. "What's wrong, Nightingale?"

The she-cat signed something very rapidly, and Rook squinted in the darkness, trying to make out her movements in the moonlight.

"She had…a weird dream," he said. "I woke up and she was kicking me and making weird noses. No offense, Night."

She seemed too frazzled to take any, continuing to sign with increased urgency.

"She says the dream was really strange," he went on. "It was more…vivid than she's used to, I think? There were strange cats she didn't recognize, and names that were a lot like yours. All compound-y."

Something dawned on Sootpaw then, and her eyes widened. "Were the cats stuck in some sort of cavern? Like a big hole in the ground?"

Nightingale's eyes lit up, and she nodded, continuing to sign.

"Jeez, slow down," Rook complained. "Yeah, they were in a big cavern. They were stuck – trapped? – by someone or something. But they hatched a plan, or…they got out somehow? And then…." He wrinkled his nose with confusion, trying to figure out her message. "I know you'd try to tell it out loud if it wasn't so long, but could you just go _slower?_"

"Nightingale," Sootpaw said, leaning forward. "I think I know what this dream was about, but I need you to tell me everything, all that you can remember. It's very, very important. Can you do that for me?"

Nightingale looked to Rook, and he nodded. "I can keep up, so long as you're clear. Wish it was brighter, but y'know. Go on."

The rogue she-cat began her story, and Sootpaw closed her eyes, trying to imagine the events unfold before her, just as they would if she had been having the dream herself. Rook's soft, rumbling voice wrapped around her ears like smoke, conjuring up images of cats that had been dead for years.

_They sat in the center of the cavern, hunched together, bowed with defeat and fear. They had been deserted, left behind by Cloudpaw. Foxpaw and Birchpaw burned with shame, having led everyone unwittingly into a trap. They murmured their apologies over and over, as much to themselves as the group, but the other cats barely acknowledged the whispers, having heard them all day._

_Finally, the cat in the center gave a shake of his pelt._

"_We can't stay here like this," the gray tom said. "I think it's clear now that we'll never find SkyClan. But I refuse to believe that we were sent out on this journey without a purpose. StarClan intended for us to come here one way or another. There's something we need to do. The only question is what."_

"_Don't fool yourself, Fogheart," another cat grunted. "StarClan had nothing to do with this. We were delusional. We thought we could play the heroes. But we were wrong, wrong, wrong. We weren't meant for anything but this: to be prisoners. We'll be trapped down here forever."_

"_Oh, shut up," Amberfur hissed. "Much as I hate to say it, Fogheart's right. I can't stand just sitting down here, waiting for them to treat us as they like. We've at least got to put up some sort of a fight. We know where the tunnel is; we saw _her _go through it with Kesterel. Sure, they're guarding it, but it's our only chance. We have to take it."_

"_But how?" one of the apprentices asked. "There's too many of them, and they're so strong…."_

"_We've got to take them by surprise," Birchpaw murmured. "We have to catch them off-guard. Set up some sort of trap…and then attack them."_

"_Good thinking," Fogheart said. "A trap is exactly what we need. If we can lure a few of the guards in here, I'm sure we could get out. The only question is what sort of trap would work…."_

"_That's your _only _question?" a ShadowClan warrior sneered. "What are we going to do once we get out? Where are we going to go? We can't go home, and there's no SkyClan to chase after anymore. Even if we get out of these tunnels, we're still _trapped._"_

"_StarClan brought us here for a reason." Fogheart's voice rang with conviction. "The only reason I can think of that makes sense is that we have to overthrow Kesterel somehow. Start an uprising, fight against him, free the cats under his control. He's obviously done this before; who knows how many prisoners have suffered as we are now? We have to end his reign."_

"_And get that rotten traitor," Amberfur hissed. Fogheart nodded in agreement._

"_Cloudpaw must be dealt with."_

_Foxpaw raised his chin, eyes gleaming. "Let Birchpaw and me be the distraction. Please. We have…we have to make up for this, somehow."_

"_We'll do whatever you say," Birchpaw agreed. "Just let us help."_

Rook stopped speaking for a moment, and Sootpaw opened her eyes again to blink at him. He hadn't mentioned the characters by name in his story-telling, but she knew them well enough to guess. They were like old friends, in a way, and for the first time she felt hopeful that they might succeed, even if their mission was different than it had initially appeared.

"What's the matter?" she asked, but he was concentrating on Nightingale's signs.

"She doesn't really know what happened right after that. She said the dream kinda…skipped forward? But they made some sort of plan, I guess, because right after that things started moving forward again. One o' the lil apprentices fell down, like he was hurt, and…."

_Foxpaw let out a yowl of pain, having become wedged underneath a large rock with the help of the others. Birchpaw ran into the tunnel that Cloudpaw and Kesterel had gone into days before, her voice ringing off the walls, high with panic._

"_Help! Please, help! A rock fell down on my friend, and he's badly hurt…please, help us!"_

_The voices of the guards rumbled in the darkness, quietly at first, but gradually louder as they followed Birchpaw back, more out of curiosity than concern. Immediately, they were set upon by the Clan cats, who had crouched on both sides of the tunnel's entrance, waiting for their targets to come into view. Hisses and snarls filled the cavern for a few brief moments, before the guards were subdued._

"_Great job, Birchpaw!" Foxpaw purred, wiggling out from under the rock. "You were amazing."_

"_Thanks. You too." The pale apprentice's eyes glowed at him, but she looked back as Fogheart motioned for everyone to hurry. They raced down the tunnel, paws pounding against the dark stone._

Rook stopped again, but this time it was because Nightingale had paused; a tremor ran through her, as she remembered what had happened next.

"More guards were waitin' for them," Rook explained. "Caught 'em by surprise; they dint think there would be so many. They tore up one guy, some brown tom—"

"Oakclaw," Sootpaw said, and Rook shrugged.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. He was badly hurt defending some of the 'prentices, and they had to leave him behind. She doesn't know if he made it or not. The tunnel dint lead out the way they thought, either. It led to an even bigger cavern, and in this one there were tons of other cats…."

_The near-silence surprised the Clan cats as they entered the larger cavern and saw the dozens of pairs of shining eyes staring back at them with a mixture of trepidation and confusion._

"_We're not here to hurt you," Fogheart said. "We were captured, but we managed to escape from our prison. Is this yours?"_

"_N-no. We're happy here!" a thin, fearful voice said from within the crowd, but it lacked conviction, and Amberfur's eyes narrowed._

"_Look how many of you there are! Why haven't you tried to escape?" she snapped._

"_Kesterel kept them prisoners in the other area for a long time," said another voice from within the crowd. A silver-and-white she-cat padded forwards, yellow eyes glinting in the darkness. "He broke them so they wouldn't try to escape. And if he hears about any sort of uprising…." She tilted her head upwards, to the top of the cavern. It was missing, just like the other, but was ringed with large boulders. "He pushes them in. They'll crush anyone in their way, but there isn't enough room to hide around the edges…if an uprising starts up, cats always die. Always."_

"_He's going to start it soon, if we don't drive them back!" another cat shouted. "He'll punish us all for them escaping! We're got to push them back in."_

_The cats began moving forward, and the Clan cats tensed, unsheathing their bloodied claws once more, but Fogheart lifted his tail, still watching the silver-and-white she-cat._

"_Don't fight them," he said. "We only have one enemy, and that is Kestrel. There has to be a way to stop him."_

_The silver-and-white she-cat's eyes narrowed as she thought. "Anyone who is too afraid to help can run back into the smaller cavern – we couldn't do that before, but the guards are gone now. Anyone who wants their freedom can come with us. There are more guards to fight, but we have the power of numbers. We can defeat them, if we stick together." She turned back to the crowd. "We're all tired of being prisoners, of being used to hunt for Kestrel and his guards. None of you can honestly say you are happy here. If you want to be free, help us. If not, go in there." She nodded towards the tunnel leading to the smaller cavern._

_Slowly, cats moved forwards – mainly queens, kits, and elders, although a few adults did as well – towards the tunnel. Slowly, the cavern filtered out, as cats with dark and fearful eyes fled rather than risk the battle or falling rocks._

"_You're going to get yourself killed, and I'm not helping!" one cat meowed before he disappeared inside. The silver-and-white she-cat watched them go, before giving Fogheart a nod._

"_The rest of us are with you," she said, and he smiled._

"_Thank you. I promise you all, we will get out. We will stop Kesterel. We only need a plan."_

"And then it was over."

Sootpaw's eyes opened with surprised. "Over? Just like that?"

"That's what she says." He nodded towards Nightingale. "She woke up, and was terrified. So, what does it mean? How did you know about it already? Wait." His eyes widened. "They're those dream-cats, right? Not the evil ones, but those others you told me about? From the four Clans you'd never heard of?"

She nodded. "I think so. I'm not quite sure why they came to Nightingale…." She thought back to what Chillpaw had said, about her having a heightened connection to StarClan, like her mother. _Perhaps Nightingale is the same way. And since I can't receive the dreams anymore, after having gone through the Pool…they turned to her to keep the story going. _

Nightingale glanced between the two of them, obviously confused, but Sootpaw was too tired to tell the entire story over again.

"I had the same sort of dreams," she explained, trying to be as brief as possible. "I dreamed about those cats ages ago, when our journey first began. They're tied to us, somehow…I'm still not sure exactly what they mean, but their journey was a lot like ours. Kestrel is like Carmelo, for instance…but in this case he's kinda like Bullet too, since we were taken prisoner in the Bonedumps for a short time. Cloudpaw – the traitor they mentioned – was like Bluepaw…just like us, they started their journey thinking it meant one thing, when it turned out to be another. I guess they're supposed to overthrow Kesterel after all…maybe we are, too, I don't know…." She frowned. "But you receiving the dreams just means that you're more…open to that sort of thing, I guess. The dreams come from StarClan – Sage told you a bit about them, right? It might mean you could be a medicine cat, someday, if you wanted."

Nightingale's face lit up with surprise mixed with pride, and she beamed at Rook for a moment. The dark tom didn't share her joy, only looking puzzled.

"I don't really wanna live in the Clan, no 'fense," he growled. "And bein' a medicine cat doesn't sound like fun…I mean Bluepaw fled from that position from that, right?"

Sootpaw's face fell. "Yeah, she did. It's not for everyone, I guess…but there's no reason to think about it right now. Just don't worry, okay, Nightingale? The dreams aren't bad, and they won't hurt you. Sometimes they can be scary, but…I think they'll have a happy ending. Maybe."

Rook snorted. "I'd hope so, if they're supposed to be like our journey. If we all perish, I'll be _pissed._"

She twitched her whiskers at his absurdity despite herself. "I don't think you'll be feeling much of anything, if we 'perish,'" she replied, before yawning, feeling weariness creep back into her bones. Her mind was buzzing with the possibilities of what Nightingale's dream meant, and where the Clan cats would go from there, but she was too tired to think about it much further.

"We'll be moving again in a few hours," she meowed with a yawn. "We should get back to sleep, if we can…otherwise tomorrow's going to be _terrible._"

Rook nodded in agreement, lying down again. Nightingale copied him, although her blue eyes were still bright with excitement, suggesting it would be some time before she slept again.

Sootpaw pressed herself against Sage once more, and felt Rook press against her. She resisted the urge to snuggle into his thick, warm fur, tucking her nose between her paws instead with a quiet sigh. She thought of the journeying cats, on the cusp of freedom, and felt some small scrap of hope fluttering in her chest. They would be okay, the cats from the past – it was strange to think of it, for they were certainly all dead by now, in StarClan somewhere. They would achieve their goal, whatever it was now, and _her _journeying cats would do the same.

_And maybe Swiftshade and Shrew will be okay, too. _She felt a pang as she thought of them, imagining them struggling through the darkness, going all the way back to where they had started, and then continuing on, conquering the tests laid out in front of them and climbing that final push to StarClan. _They'll make it. They have to. It can't all have been for nothing, it can't….When this is all over, I'll go to the Pool of Stars, and they'll be there, waiting for me._

She imagined them standing before her with stars studding their pelts, and smiled, letting the fluttering hope carry her back to sleep.

. . .

The same sense of hope followed her for the next few days; the journeying cats made excellent time, without any sick or pregnant cats among them, or traitors trying to lead them astray. They did not speak much, focusing on putting one paw after another in front of them, but there was a quiet unity amongst the group all the same; they were all focused on the same goal of getting home and saving everyone they loved.

The days were monotonous, but not unpleasantly so; it was almost refreshing for Sootpaw, to have a daily schedule that she could depend on, to know what would happen the next morning when she woke up, and the afternoon, and the following night. There was a certain sort of safety to the pattern, and after all the turmoil and upheaval the journey had brought, she was glad of it.

Reedrush broke the monotony one day, however, as she called for them to stop early, before the sun had even begun to set. The others were surprised, but did not object, eager for the rest.

"Don't think you're going to lounge around," Reedrush said with a trace of amusement as Rook flopped onto the ground with a sigh. "I've just stopped us for a short training session. You all need to be on your toes when we get back, after all. I doubt Twolegplace has been quiet, with Carmelo as powerful as he is now. We might need to be prepared for a battle, so it's vital to ensure you're all capable of fighting.

"Break into pairs. You'll be sparring with each other today. I'll be watching." She caught Sage's uncertain look. "Yes, even you. I know your training isn't focused around fighting, but you did mention your healers sometimes share that duty, correct? If we run into trouble on the way, we'll need you."

Sage nodded, and looked to Swanpaw, who gave him a small smile. "You can spar with me, but I'm not going easy on you."

Sage purred quietly, and the two of them padded to the edge of the clearing, facing each other as they waited for the signal to start.

Sootpaw was watching them, and was thus unprepared for the jostle that rocked her; she turned to find Rook grinning at her.

"Nightingale's too quick for me," he said, "and I want to fight someone strong."

Her ears flattened, remembering how he had mocked her after that first battle with Adder, when he had seen how hapless she was. "I'm not that strong."

He snorted. "I'm sure you've improved since way-back-when, at least a bit. C'mon, don't leave me hangin'." He gave her what was almost a pleading look, and she relented with a dramatic roll of her eyes, disguising her pleasure at being picked; she had figured she would be the last cat anyone wanted to spar with. "Okay, okay. If you insist."

The two of them moved away from the center of the clearing; out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nightingale and Brackenpaw pairing off.

Rook swatted at her nose while she wasn't paying attention, and sprang backwards with a grin. "C'mon! At least keep yer eyes on me. D'yea really think I pose no threat?"

She reached out to smack him back, but he ducked away, still grinning at her. She let out a playful growl, crouching, her dappled tail twitching back and forth.

"Focus, Sootpaw," cautioned Reedrush from afar. "We're not playing games, understand? Pretend Rook is an enemy, a Twolegplace rogue."

Rook's brow furrowed. "I kinda am," he said. "Not all the cats in the city are bad, tho'. Some are okay."

"We met a few nice ones, when Reedrush and I went there," Sootpaw mewed, "but Carmelo's rogues have been poking around the Clan, and things have probably gotten worse since we left."

"Still. They aren't _all_ enemies."

"Of course." She smiled. "We're not going to be attacking any defenseless kits, or anything."

He rolled his eyes. "'Course not. You couldn't beat one."

Her jaw dropped in mock-anger at the insult, and his green eyes danced. With another growl, she sprang at him, only to have him evade her outstretched paws. She turned quickly, tail in the air, and prepared herself to spring again.

"Don't let your eyes give you away, Sootpaw!" Reedrush called, before looking back to the other sparring cats. "Good dive, Brackenpaw, but you've got to be faster."

Sootpaw nodded, remembering an earlier lesson, during which Reedrush had cautioned her about looking where she was going to attack; she fixed her eyes on Rook's shoulder as she sprang again, but her paws reached out for his ears.

He escaped her once more with surprising speed for one of his size, still grinning. "C'mon, Sootpaw. I thought yer supposed to be a _warrior._"

"Not yet," she said, eyes narrowing. "Soon, though. And what about you? Are you just going to dance away from me all day?"

At that, he let out a rumbling growl, and this time it was he who moved forward to grab her. She slid to the side, but wasn't quite fast enough; one of his heavy paws scored a glancing blow on her shoulder, setting her off balance. He took advantage of it, surging forwards, and before she quite knew what had happened, she found herself flat on her back with him snickering down at her.

"So much for bein' strong," he scoffed. "I thought you learnt somethin' since that first battle."

Immediately, she thought of Rainwind, and her eyes darkened. It was because of her helplessness that the gray tabby had died, after all. He had tried to protect her, and it had cost him his life.

The dark tom sensed he had gone too far, and he ducked his head. "Apologies. You know I dint mean that."

"I know." She glanced up at him again, a gleam in her eye as she capitalized on his distraction, kicking upwards with all the force she could muster. He flew away from her with an _oomph, _although it wasn't as far as she would have hoped. She scrambled to her paws, and this time it was she who grinned.

"Never let your guard down," she crowed, only to yelp and backpedal as he moved to tackle her again.

On and on they went, both struggling to pin the other. Rook was slightly larger and stronger than her, and more experienced; every time she thought she was making progress, she found herself on her back. However, she always managed to wiggle out of his grasp before he could permanently pin her, continuing their struggle.

As it wore on and the two of them tired, they stopped smiling, amusement shifting to determination instead. Sootpaw tried to block out the sounds of the other apprentices, focusing only on Rook, eyes narrowed with concentration. He did have a point, after all; she still hadn't improved much from that first battle, and if tensions between the Clan and Carmelo had mounted while they were away, she would be needed. She couldn't let her Clanmates down, not while they were depending on her. She had to pin him, she _had _to, if only to prove that she wasn't as hapless as she felt.

Something was off about Rook; there was something to his movements that seemed strange, as if he was being hindered. She couldn't quite put her paw on it, but it was gnawing at the back of her mind, spurring her on. Spiderpaw would have figured it out already, she was certain; he always had a knack for weaseling out the weaknesses of others, but she wasn't clever like him, or as ruthless when it came to winning.

_But you've got to be, _whispered a voice in the back of her mind. _If you were, perhaps Nettlefrost wouldn't have had to die. Perhaps Chillpaw wouldn't have been forced to go into the Pool to escape fading forever. Perhaps he would still remember you._

Her ears flattened, and she tried to banish the thought, to concentrate, but it continued to nag at her. She hit the ground again, as she was just a hair too slow to avoid one of Rook's massive paws, and tried to get up before he could pin her. He was moving more slowly than he had been, as his sides heaved from the effort of their sparring, but there was a cockiness in his eyes as he approached her winded form. He thought he had won.

_I can't let him, I can't. I have to win this, for Chillpaw if no one else! _It was a foolish thought – as if she could help Chillpaw now – but it was all she had to cling to, and her eyes raked the dark tom's form in desperation. And then, she saw it, the tiniest weakness in one of his legs; it was the one he had injured when he had fallen from the tree, and Sage had pinned him. Apparently it was still a bit sore.

_That's it._

She stopped trying to get up, staring up at him with what she hoped looked like fear as he drew closer.

"Apologies, Sootpaw," he purred, crouching to spring, preparing himself for what he thought would be the end. "Look like I win."

He threw himself into the air just as she rolled to the side, sweeping out her paws as she did so. One caught his bad leg as he landed, pulling it to the side and sending him tumbling to the ground. She was on him in seconds, pushing him so that it was his bad leg beneath him, leaving him unable to surge up as he had done before. He struggled in her grasp, thrashing, and she buried her teeth in his scruff, making sure not to bite hard enough to hurt him.

Finally, he stopped moving, only panting with exhaustion. She didn't release her grip, her breath hissing out through partially clenched teeth,

"Give up?"

"I dun' give up," he responded hotly, but after another useless twist, his ears flatten. "I will admit, however, that I cain't win."

She laughed into his dark pelt, letting him go and springing backwards in case he tried a last-ditch swipe. Instead, he only glowered at her for a moment, before letting out a low, rumbling purr.

"Nice 'un," he said, then rose, twisting around to give his back leg a rueful lick. "Didja have to be so 'ard on it, though?"

"Just letting you know you have a weakness," she chirped back, feeling a purr rise up inside of her chest. He snorted, but his green eyes twinkled at her, as he turned towards Reedrush.

Sootpaw blinked as she realized the other apprentices had stopped sparring; apparently they had already earned their victories or defeats. Her ears flattened with embarrassment as she realized they had all been watching her and the dark tom; she was not as pleased by the attention as he.

"Well done, Sootpaw, although it wasn't as quick as I might have hoped," Reedrush said, but her eyes were kind as she observed the two of them. "You too, Rook. I know we can count on you, if it comes to another battle."

"Indeed," he said, dipping his head, before wrenching his jaws apart in a massive yawn. "I'unno about you guys, but I'm _tuckered._"

Sootpaw voiced her agreement, flopping on the ground. She found she wasn't even hungry; all she wanted was a nap.

"Alright, alright. It's too late to get moving again anyway. Get some sleep then, you two. Anyone who actually wants to eat tonight, let's move." The silver warrior flicked her tail, leading the others away into the thick forest.

Rook came to lay beside Sootpaw with a low grunt. "Now it's achin' again. Thanks a lot."

"Sorry," she mewed, a bit more sincerity in her voice than before. "It's not too bad, is it? I'm sure we could find some poppy seeds, or…."

Rook wrinkled his nose. "An' have you stuff me fulla foxglove, or w'ever? No thanks. I'll just take my lumps like a tom, thank you."

She rolled her eyes at his stubbornness, but didn't object, resting her muzzle on her paws. A shiver ran through her; now that they had stopped moving and the sun was dipping downwards, she was getting cold again.

"I'll never complain about having to build a nest again," she moaned, curling into a ball. "Cold weather is the _worst._"

"Ain't so bad."

"Easy for you to say!"

"I tol' you, it was way colder last year. Last year, me an' Nightingale's whiskers—"

"Froze to your face. I know, I know." She glowered at him. "You think you're such tough stuff, but then you go and complain about your poor little leg hurting."

He let out a playful growl. "It hurts more than a bit of frost nippin' at yer nose, I can tell you that much! But if you're gonna bellyache about it…."

To her surprise, he moved to envelop her; he didn't quite manage, as she was a great deal larger than Nightingale, but she supposed it was the thought that counted. In any case, his stomach against her back was oddly soothing, and she leaned against him with a grateful purr.

"Thanks," she said, and he let out a quiet grunt. The two of them were silent for several minutes, as Rook's breaths gradually grew slower and heavier, until she said,

"I still miss him."

"Him? Him wh—oh. The dead one."

She flinched at that, and he murmured an apology. "Sorry. Wasn't thinkin'. But o'course you miss'm. Only been a few days."

"Will I always, do you think?" She twisted around to peer at him. "You had other friends in your Twoleg's house, didn't do? Did you miss them, after the fire?"

He frowned. "I didn't particully like any of 'em, to be honest. Nightingale and I weren't even really acquainted back then. But I think about them, from time to time. I feel bad for the ones that dint make it. That's not something that ever leaves you. You shouldn't feel bad for missin' him. Just don't let it become your whole life."

"What if…." She faltered, but he urged her on with a glance. "What if…something happened to Nightingale? What would you do?"

His eyes darkened, and it took him a moment to answer. "Go mad, I think. At least for awhile. She's all I had for a long time. But it's not the same, really. I'm not in _love _with her, an' she's not with me. I cain't imagine what it would be like to lose…someone like that." He shifted. "If anythin', I think it's kinda the opposite. From what you said, you were the one holdin' him together. The one who helped him change. You were like his Nightingale, jus' romantically, if that makes sense. But none of that really matters. What I mean to say is that it's okay to miss him. You'll miss him for a long time, maybe forever. But if he ain't comin' back, you can't keep hopin'….There's no sense in holdin' out on something that might never come back. Does…does that help?"

She leaned back against him, letting out a soft sigh. "Yes, I think so…thank you. I know it couldn't have been easy, listening to me before…I guess I was kinda mad myself." She smiled without any trace of amusement. "I didn't expect you to take it like you did, but I'm glad I was wrong. Thank you, Rook."

"No problem. I'm…." He wiggled with embarrassment. "I'm glad you trusted me then, when you were at the bottom. But there's nowhere to go now but up."

She glanced up at the sky, seeing the first stars yearning against the sun's last streaks of light, and smiled to herself more hopefully this time. "Yeah. I think you're right. Nowhere to go…but up."

**AN: Posted a Chilled-revelant one-shot (For Me?) in the challenge to make this a double-update! Sorry for the way, things are getting crazy near finals and this chapter turned out really long. Also, a time-skip is imminent! Exciting stuff. Thanks for holding on, ducklings. C:**


	68. C h a p t e r 67

**C**_**hapter **_**67**

Spiderpaw opened his eyes slowly, and shivered, missing Blackfeather's warmth; she'd been ordered to sleep in the warrior den again a few days ago, and hadn't dared to try sneaking away since. The den was nearly empty – only he, Robinpaw, and Blizzardpaw remained, after all – and thus it felt as though a layer of frost had settled over him as he slept.

He sat up, stretching gingerly and giving his head a little shake, before slipping out of the den and heading into the nursery, as he now did every morning, giving a nod to Darkstorm on his way in. The black tom gave him a sleepy nod back, clearly wanting nothing more than to be relieved of his guard duties so that he could get some rest.

"Hey," Spiderpaw said, voice soft, as he entered the den. Leopardpaw's head rose slowly, followed by Fireblaze's, and the two of them squinted at him in the dim light. The new moon would pass over their heads that night, meaning that it had been over a week since the two cats had been attacked by the Twolegplace rogues. He was heartened to see that they were continuing to improve; it wouldn't be too long until Leopardpaw was well again. Even her swollen eye had gone down, thanks to Shimmerfrost's care.

Of course, that wasn't without its downsides. When Leopardpaw was well, Eaglestrike would begin planning their retaliation against the Twolegplace cats in earnest, and Spiderpaw had the feeling his father wouldn't care if Leopardpaw was hurt in the process. His father wasn't quite cold enough to let it happen intentionally, but if it were an accident during a battle….

His ears flattened at the thought, and he looked to Fireblaze, hoping to see the same improvement. Unfortunately, it would still be some time before the ginger tom was up to the task of protecting Leopardpaw. His injured leg was healing at a snail's pace, and the blow to his head still gave him plenty of pain, although he tried to mask it. His broken tail had also decided to heal crookedly, jutting out at a bit of an angle; Shimmerfrost had offered to re-break it, but he had quickly declined. Before, Spiderpaw might have taken pleasure in the fiery warrior's pain – a crooked tail wouldn't hinder his warrior duties, after all, only make him look foolish – but he lacked any of that ill-will towards Fireblaze now.

"How're you feeling?" he asked, tossing the question to both of them; Fireblaze let out a low grumble, but Leopardpaw did not react at all, only lowering her head again.

"About as good as can be expected, I guess," Fireblaze grunted. "Starting to hate the nursery, though. I'm forgetting what fresh air smells like."

Spiderpaw twitched his whiskers, before looking to the dappled she-cat, but she still didn't speak.

_She knows what's going to happen once she's better as well as I do, _he thought with a wince. _She knows her life might be in danger very, very soon…._

"Are the marsh cats coming today?" Fireblaze asked, clearly thinking the same thing, but Spiderpaw shook his head.

"I don't think so, or at least Eaglestrike hasn't said anything…it'll still be a few days, I expect." He sat down, curling his ebony tail around his paws. "Shimmerfrost has to give the clean bill of health, first."

"It'll be soon." Leopardpaw's voice was flat. "A few days at the most. I don't have to be in perfect health, after all, just strong enough to get the job done…whatever that might be."

"We won't let him take you before you're ready. Before we're _both _ready. Right?" Fireblaze looked to Spiderpaw, and he nodded.

"Eaglestrike can't bully you into anything. He doesn't have any leverage," he meowed, "but we'll make sure he doesn't try."

"Don't." She closed her eyes. "You're only going to make him angry. He'll begin to wonder if you're traitors, too, and that's the last thing you need. There's no reason to stick your neck out for me."

Fireblaze let out a low growl. "We're not going through this whole thing again. You're not being dragged anywhere anytime soon, and that's that."

Leopardpaw didn't say anything further, but Fireblaze's gaze was hard as he watched her, tension crackling between them. Spiderpaw rose to his paws, eager to escape it.

"You guys hungry?" he hazarded, and the ginger tom nodded. "I'll bring you something, hang on."

He bolted out of the nursery, heading towards the fresh-kill pile; things weren't getting any easier, it seemed. The Clan was in a dismal position, what with a traitor in their ranks, their leader with kits and sicker than ever, one of their young warriors badly injured, and the others exhausted, not to mention the mistrustfulness of their deputy.

_And it's certainly not going to get much better…not until the journeying cats come back, and bring the herbs with them._ He thought of Sootpaw, and sighed, hoping that it wouldn't be another moon until he saw his sister's face again.

_Just let her be okay, _he thought for the umpteenth time, as he stooped to grab a vole.

"Spiderpaw!"

His head rose as his name was called, and a familiar, pleasant prickle ran through his fur as he saw Blackfeather moving towards him. Her eyes were bright, but her face was lined with weariness despite her slumber. "You've seen Fireblaze today, haven't you? Is he doing okay?"

"He's fine," he assured her, then gestured towards the vole. "I was going to get that for him, actually, and something for Leopardpaw too. Are you two going to eat together?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so. I have to relieve Darkstorm, and we're not supposed to eat while on duty, even though I'm starving." She wrinkled her nose. "I'm tempted to sneak it, but with Eaglestrike so on edge…."

Spiderpaw winced, remembering his father's tired, anxious eyes.

"Sorry." Her voice became softer. "This must be hard for you, seeing him so distressed. He's under a lot of pressure."

"Everyone is. But it doesn't matter. We don't talk much these days anyway." He ruffled his fur; Eaglestrike hadn't said a word to him since he'd defended Leopardpaw.

"Things will get better once this is all over," she assured him, sweeping her dark tail against his flank. "It'll be newleaf, it'll be warm again, there'll be plenty of prey…."

"And an empty nursery," he said, then instinctively looked towards the medicine den. "Or almost empty, if we're lucky."

Blackfeather's eyes darkened at that. "I don't know what the Clan will do, if we don't have any apprentices by greenleaf."

"Start recruiting Twolegplace cats, maybe," he joked, but they both knew it was entirely possible that Twolegplace would be recruiting _them _before leafbare ended.

"Maybe. Come on." She flicked her tail to him, and the two of them padded towards the nursery. He ducked inside, delivering the fresh-kill and hastily backing out, giving Blackfeather a parting lick.

"Spiderpaw," Petalcloud's familiar voice called, and he found her beckoning him forwards, with Frostfeather at her side. "We're going out on patrol. Be quick, now. Eaglestrike wants to make sure there aren't any other rogues in the area."

A shiver ran down his spine at that, but he loped towards them, and the three of them made their way out of camp, doing their best to mask their fear.

. . .

Hours later they returned, without having scented a single rogue, much to Spiderpaw's relief. If Maggot's cats made another move, it would make Eaglestrike that much more anxious to attack, and Leopardpaw still wasn't ready. Still, it was puzzling; Twolegplace had been quiet out of late, and it vaguely reminded Spiderpaw of the calm before a storm.

_Just let it last a bit longer, _he prayed, _just long enough until Leopardpaw's well enough to make it back, if we do have to go to Twolegplace. _

He headed for the fresh-kill pile, intending to ease his growling stomach, but it was running low. Between the guards, patrols, and injured or sick cats, there were few left to actually hunt.

He glanced towards the camp's entrance, considering going out himself, but not really wanting to venture out into the forest alone.

_Robinpaw's got to be up by now, _he thought, padding towards the apprentice den. He ducked inside, and much to his surprise – and irritation – found that his cousin was still fast asleep.

He jabbed her with one paw, frowning down at her as she opened her green eyes slowly, batting them at him in an attempt to look innocent. "Good morning, Spiderpaw."

"It's sunhigh now," he growled. "What have you been doing? You're almost always asleep, it seems like."

She sat up and stretched her injured leg out gingerly. "I'm just really tired…Blizzardpaw and I have been going out at night. Not for too long, just enough to keep us both limber…training has been crazy lately, with so much going on. But you know how it is, don't you? He just wants to be ready. His assessment is going to be in half a moon, after all!"

"Maybe." Spiderpaw was skeptical. "With how things have been going, it'll probably be pushed back."

"Yeah…but he's hopeful." Her voice lowered. "Personally, I'd be pretty happy if it was delayed, because it means he would get to stay in the apprentice den a bit longer. It's so _cold _in here with everyone gone! I really hope the journeying cats get back soon, so Jaypaw can get better and move in with us again. I miss sleeping next to him sometimes." She cocked her head to the side. "Don't you miss sleeping next to Sootpaw?"

Sootpaw had always thrashed in her sleep, thanks to her mysterious dreams, but he decided not to mention that, only nodding. "It does get pretty cold. I guess if worst comes to worst, we can always huddle together…or they might let us move in with the warriors, who knows."

Robinpaw purred quietly. "I'd like to sleep next to my mom again. I miss that too. Anyway, what were you wanting?"

"I was thinking we should go hunting," he said. "The fresh-kill pile's really low, and everyone could use something to eat, I'm sure."

She grimaced. "I'm _starving,_" she grumbled, but nodded. "I guess if we don't do it, no one else will, though. Is Darkstorm awake, do you think? He could come with us."

"He had guard duty last night, so I'm sure he won't be awake again until at least tomorrow." Spiderpaw twitched his whiskers at the thought; the black tom's laziness was well-known, but to his credit, he had managed to stay awake all night, as far as they knew.

Robinpaw sighed. "Right, right. Stupid guard duty. It's not like Leopardpaw's actually _going _anywhere. I mean, she gave herself up, and she has Fireblaze to cuddle up with. With a name like that, he's got to be warm."

Privately, Spiderpaw thought that Leopardpaw and Fireblaze would cuddle up for reasons other than warmth, if they did so at all, but he held his tongue, only nodding and flicking his tail. "After you."

Robinpaw limped to the entrance of the den, and he trailed after her. She paused to look at the fresh-kill pile, as if to verify what he had already told her, before letting out a little moan as her stomach gurgled.

"All the prey is going to be hiding, I just _know _it," she grumbled. "We're the only ones without the sense to stay safe and warm."

He agreed, but they didn't have any choice; the Clan needed to eat. They began padding towards the camp's yawning entrance, when Spiderpaw spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. He stopped, signaling for her to halt as well, and blinked as he saw Shimmerfrost dart out of the medicine den. She glanced around camp, her usually icy eyes looking oddly frantic, before she disappeared into the warriors den.

Robinpaw blinked, bemused. "Do…do you think something's wrong?"

His first was of Silverstar, then Jaggedclaw; only when he saw the fear in her bright eyes did he think of Jaypaw, and his ears flattened.

"I'm sure everything's fine. They're probably just running low on something, and she wants protection to go and get it," he bluffed, but Robinpaw didn't seem soothed.

"Maybe we should—" she began, only to trail off with a whimper as Shimmerfrost reemerged from the den with Eaglestrike at her side. The two of them headed into the medicine den, and Spiderpaw's ears flattened; there was no mistaking that something was wrong.

_It's probably Silverstar, _he thought, although he wasn't sure whether he should be relieved or not. _She's at more of a risk, isn't she, with those kits? But Shimmerfrost will know what to do this time, and Silverstar has a lot of lives left, so everything will be okay…StarClan, please let it be okay._

Robinpaw started to move towards the medicine den, then paused, a tremor running through her. Spiderpaw ran his tail over her flank, trying to soothe her as best he could.

"Everything's fine," he said. "It's going to be okay. It's going to be nothing, and we're going to feel silly for worrying and then we'll go and hunt…and we can visit Jaypaw, maybe. I'm sure he's hungry. We can stop by, sneak in while Shimmerfrost's not looking, and cheer him up…."

Robinpaw wasn't looking at him; she was staring at the medicine den, unable to tear her eyes away, and both of them knew they wouldn't be hunting any time soon.

Moments later, Eaglestrike padded out of the den, alone. Immediately, Spiderpaw's heart sank at the dark grief in the gray tom's eyes. Without a word, he padded towards the BranchPile, and let out a long, low, urgent yowl.

The Clan drifted out of their dens, their curiosity shifting to fear as they saw his expression.

"Shimmerfrost…." His voice broke for an instant, and he bowed his head, looking like an elder before he regained control. "Shimmerfrost has just informed me that Jaypaw has gone on to StarClan."

A hoarse cry tore itself from Robinpaw's throat, and she began moving towards the medicine den. Spiderpaw darted in front of her, cutting her off, and she tried to weave around him, only to cry again as she was thwarted.

"Let me go," she said, staring past Spiderpaw as if she did not see him at all. "I have to go, I have to…they're wrong, they have to be. It can't be him, it can't be Jaypaw, it has to be….He can't be…."

"I'm so sorry, Robinpaw," Spiderpaw whispered, and with a wail, she buried her face in his fur, tremors wracking her entire body.

Eaglestrike watched, head still slightly lowered. A sigh escaped him, and he closed his eyes, steeling himself before he began to speak again. "Shimmerfrost assures me it was very peaceful, and quick. One moment he was there, sleeping, and the next he was gone. He didn't feel any pain."

_He was far beyond that, _was the implication behind his words, and Spiderpaw's heart clenched to think of the calm gray tom wheezing out his final breaths with only Shimmerfrost and StarClan looking on.

"Jaypaw was a noble young tom," Eaglestrike went on. "He was quiet, and often unnoticed, but loyal to the end. He gave his rations of the cure to Silverstar, and never complained. He held on as long as he could, but…he's in no pain now, and watching over us all still."

The deputy's words landed on deaf ears; Spiderpaw could barely comprehend them. He could only think of Jaypaw, how his eyes had blazed when he had defended Robinpaw, how he had gone out on the journey to protect her, when the disease had been lurking inside of him all along.

_Does…does he still think I'm mad at him over all that? _he wondered, and his throat threatened to close. _I'm not Jaypaw, I'm not, I swear. You were just trying to look after Robinpaw, to stop me from hurting her, and I understand why you thought I might…I would have hurt anyone back then, if I thought I could claw out a scrap of respect from their pain. I should have said something, I should have…._

He bowed his head as Robinpaw continued to quiver against him, unable to comfort her when he couldn't even face his own grief.

Eaglestrike continued to speak, but Spiderpaw wasn't listening; it was with relief that he finally passed Robinpaw to Blizzardpaw, let her crumple against the white tom's side as he whispered soothing words into her ears, his blue eyes soft with love and sorrow.

Spiderpaw turned then, and his eyes met Blackfeather; the two of them rushed into each other, their sable pelts melding together as they both struggled to hold in their fear and pain.

_Things are different now, _some part of him realized. _It's finally happened. Someone's _died. _It's not like before…Silverstar came back, and she could come back again, but Jaypaw…he's gone, gone forever. And if it's happened to him, that means it could happen to Jaggedclaw, and I…I'm not ready to say goodbye to him, not yet. Not until Reedrush comes back, not until he's _happy_, because he doesn't deserve this…Jaypaw didn't either, no one does…._

_Bluepaw could have prevented this. _His heart twisted even further. _She knew the cure. She knew what would happen if she held us from it…yes, Carmelo probably lied to her, probably said everyone would be fine, but she _knew. _Jaypaw was on the journey with her, for StarClan's sake. She saw he was getting sick, and she still withheld everything, still stood by and let all of this happen while she had the answers with her all along…._

_She can't come back. Not now, now that he's dead. Everything's different now. Bluepaw…she's a _murderer.A shudder ran through him, and he felt Blackfeather lick his ear. He returned the gesture feebly, closing his eyes and breathing in her scent. And, when he exhaled, he let go. He let go of Bluepaw's glowing eyes and bright smile and chipper advice. He let go of her loud laugh and soft, herb-touched scent. He let go of whatever parts of him still thought about her, about what they could have been, the parts of him that still thought of her as an innocent, bouncy apprentice, because she _wasn't. _There had always been guilt behind her eyes, secrets behind her smiles, agendas behind her advice. The Bluepaw he had thought he had known had only been a farce, an illusion, and he had fallen for it heart and soul.

"They're gone," he said, speaking of Jaypaw and Bluepaw together, and Blackfeather whispered back,

"I know."

. . .

They held his vigil under the new moon; it was difficult to see his body, with only the light of the stars to dapple his pale pelt. Robinpaw was pressed up against him, refusing to move the entire night, sleeping against her brother one last time. Darkstorm had curled up around her at some point, doing his best to keep her warm, Frostfeather was on Jaypaw's other side, running her tongue over his pelt almost robotically, as if he was a kit being prepared for his apprentice ceremony.

Spiderpaw and Blackfeather looked on, pressed against one another. His head rested on her shoulder, and he thought of what Jaggedclaw had told him, about Jaypaw having had feelings for Blackfeather, but never having the opportunity to tell her. Something about that wasn't right, wasn't fair; if Jaypaw had gotten there first, before Spiderpaw, might things have been different? Might he be sitting alone, instead of tucked up against her?

"He liked you," he blurted, unable to keep the secret back; he was just so _tired _of secrets, of trying to step so carefully around the various truths that he knew and couldn't let on. Bluepaw had kept secrets, and Leopardpaw had kept secrets, and Jaggedclaw had kept secrets, and all they had ever done was hurt the cats they cared about.

"I know," she murmured, and his ears pricked with surprise as he looked up at her. "He never said anything…but you just kind of know, don't you? You feel it in the way he looks at you, or how he says your name…I knew. But I never said anything…I was too scared. That sort of stuff is even scarier than battle, in some ways, don't you think?" She smiled down at him, and he remembered his rushed confession. He'd been forced to blurt it out then, too, because he knew if he'd waited, he'd lose his courage.

"I should have said something…should have given him some closure. But I could just never bring myself to broach the topic…I didn't want to hurt him, want to see him crushed. So I kept quiet, and then he got so sick that he wouldn't have understood what I said anyway, and now…." She gave a tiny, helpless shrug. "Now it's too late. Now he's seeing it for himself in StarClan, and I'm sure it's just making everything even worse, and I wish I could have had the courage before, but….I'm a coward."

He opened his mouth to object, but she shook her head. "It's true, and you know it. I always have been. I was too afraid to face the prospect of battle, and Birchpool paid for it. I was too frightened to tell Jaypaw how I felt, and now he's gone. I was too scared to tell _you _that I liked you…you had to come out at do it, or else it probably would never have happened." She shook her head. "I wish I was brave…brave like Birchpool and Jaypaw and Fireblaze and you. But I'm not, and I don't know if I ever will be. I've tried, and I've made progress, but…I'm not sure if I'll ever get there."

"I think you're brave," he said. "You did face battle, you earned your warrior name, and if it wasn't for you, those PeakClan cats would have torn me to shreds. And you're kind and gentle and you care about _everyone._ You're not afraid to admit your mistakes, and you work to overcome them…I think there are different kinds of bravery. Jaypaw could have always come out with how he felt, but he didn't, and you can't blame yourself for that. I'm sure he isn't mad. I'm sure he forgives you. He wasn't the type to hold grudges, or anything like that…." He realized he was trying to convince himself as much as he was her, to relieve his own burdens of guilt, and her golden eyes softened as she blinked down at him.

"Thank you, Spiderpaw, but I know I made mistakes with him, and I can't fix them now." She licked his muzzle. "I really like you, though. You know that, don't you? I can't bear to think…if something happened to you, and I never…." She ducked her head uncertainly, ears lowering. "I…I kind of love, you, Spiderpaw. I don't want you to ever doubt that."

He felt warmth rush through him, eating through the grief, and he drew his tongue over her muzzle right back. "I kind of love you too, Blackfeather," he said, a quiet purr running through him, as the two of them leaned against each other, watching the wind ruffle Jaypaw's fur.

. . .

Exhaustion must have claimed the two of them during the night, for at some point he came awake, blinking at the bright sunlight shining down on them. They weren't alone; the entire Clan had been pushed to the point of collapsing, and he could see that some of the others were still asleep. It wasn't a traditional vigil, but he knew that Jaypaw – the tom who had given up his life for the Clan – would understand.

He was surprised to see that the young tom's body was already gone, and his heart sank; he would have liked to say one final goodbye, but it seemed too late now.

Robinpaw, Frostfeather, and Darkstorm were gone; he had a feeling that if he looked into the apprentice den, he'd find it empty, save for Blizzardpaw. The ginger apprentice was probably curled up with her parents; he doubted he would see any of them for the rest of the day.

His eyes found the fresh-kill pile again, and he was reminded of what he and Robinpaw had been set to do, before tragedy had diverted them. Gently, he nosed Blackfeather awake.

"Sorry," he whispered, "but I was wondering if you wanted to go hunting? Robinpaw and I were going to, but….The fresh-kill pile is really low, or else I wouldn't ask."

"Yeah, yeah." She blinked at him hazily, giving her head a small shake. "Of course. We might be able to bring them something. Maybe it will help…."

Spiderpaw nodded in agreement, and the two of them slipped out of the eerily silent camp, doing their best to leave the scent of grief behind.

The forest was just as still; they couldn't find any prey for the life of them, and in desperation, they drifted towards the borders. Spiderpaw was half-hoping to see one of the marsh cats, just to gather a bit of news, but even they seemed unwilling to venture into the cold.

They were about to admit defeat, when Spiderpaw finally caught the scent of a bird nearby. Signaling for Blackfeather to stop, he fell into a crouch, moving after scent.

His heart was thudding in his paws as he went; he knew it was very likely that the bird would be the only prey they'd have to bring back, and if he missed it, he wouldn't get another chance. He couldn't afford any mistakes, not when his Clanmates needed him the most.

He finally spotted the bird – a little blackbird – and coiled himself to spring, remembering how Blackfeather had leaped moons ago, back before they had ever been anything remotely resembling friends. He thought of her words again – _I kind of love you, Spiderpaw _– and warmth filled his stiff limbs as he sprang forwards.

The bird fluttered between his paws as he struck it, and his claws dug in, crushing it against the ground. He finished it with a quick bite, feeling a flare of triumph as he turned to go back to Blackfeather.

Then, there was a crackle in the undergrowth – something far heavier than a bird – and he froze. He opened his mouth, and icy fear crept through his pelt as he recognized the unmistakable scent of Twolegplace.

_Got to lead them away, _was his first thought. _I can't let them see Blackfeather, can't let them know she's out here…._He considered dropping his blackbird and hoping she would find it later, but knew it would seem more convincing to the Twolegplace cats if he had it with him.

_I'll run up towards GreenRocks, lose them there, and circle back,_ he thought, trying to comfort his thudding heart. _It'll be easy, no problem at all…._

He heard another crackle as they grew closer, and prepared himself to flee.

Then, the distinctive sound of a hungry kit's mewl reached his ears, and he paused. The Twolegplace rogues wouldn't bring a kit into the territory, even if they were feeling unexceptionally bold. They would never risk such a thing, not while the Clan still lived in the forest.

_So why…?_

Curiosity got the better of him, and he began moving forward, silently skirting over the ground as he moved towards the sounds. He could see shapes moving in the undergrowth before him, two large ones and something that he thought might be a kit. He hesitated, trying to decide what to do, before he crouched again. Whoever these cats were, they weren't friends. The Clan had no friends in Twolegplace. Kits or no, they didn't belong in the Clan's part of the territory. He would drive them towards the marsh, and let them be dealt with by Fern and the others. She would be fair to Twolegplace cats, if they meant no harm.

He flattened himself to the ground, preparing to spring again as his eyes locked onto his target, the larger of the two shapes. With a deep breath, he steeled himself, and lunged forwards.

He caught his target by surprise, landing squarely on his ginger shoulders and digging his claws in. The tom let out an indignant squawk, and from his jaws a tiny kit fell, landing on the leaves with a thump. Spiderpaw didn't pause, sinking his teeth into the tom's ear. The other rogue turned to face him with a snarl, only to falter as their green eyes met.

"Oh," she squeaked, and he saw that she too held a kit in her jaws. Quickly, she scooped the other two towards her, her tail bushing out with fear. "Redpaw, I think—"

Spiderpaw was surprised by the name, and his concentration lapsed, allowing the tom underneath him to throw him to the ground with a twist. Spiderpaw scrambled to his paws, hissing, only to find him staring into a familiar face.

Redpaw snarled back at him, but didn't move forward, looking back at the kits instead to make sure they were alright. Two gazed up at Spiderpaw with terrified eyes; the third was too young to even have hers open.

"Redpaw?" he said, confusion and uncertainty mixing together. He tensed just in case the ginger tom charged at him, but his fur flattened.

"He's a Clan cat, right?" the she-cat, a thin brown tabby, mewed to Redpaw. The ginger apprentice nodded, muzzle still twisted with distaste.

"Yeah. His name's Spiderpaw, and he's an idiot. Don't you recognize your own Clanmate?" He spat the last sentence back at the black apprentice, and Spiderpaw bristled once more.

"You nearly flayed me last time, and then you ran off to Twolegplace. Do you think I'm going to welcome you back with open paws? And who's she?"

"She's Natasha. She's a friend of the Clan," Redpaw growled back, his voice still crackling with hostility. "She and her mate helped the Clan out of a lot of rough spots, and they need our help now, alright?"

Spiderpaw's eyes fell back to the kits. "Are…are those hers?" Two of them were brown tabbies, like her, but the last was a pale gray tabby.

"Notch and Tucker are mine," the rogue mewed, brushing her tail protectively over the brown tabbies. "Ivy…she's…." Her voice faltered, and her eyes clouded with grief. Redpaw shot her a sympathetic glance, something that seemed alien on his hard face.

"Look, Twolegplace is in trouble. Big trouble," he said, looking back to Spiderpaw. "Natasha doesn't have anywhere else to go, and I promised AshClan would help her out, alright? We're going to camp. Either help us carry the kits, or get out of our way."

Something rustled behind him, and the black apprentice turned, half-expecting an ambush. Instead, it was Blackfeather, blinking at the group with befuddlement.

"Redpaw? What's going on? Why are you here?"

The tom let out a frustrated hiss. "We don't have time for this! We've got to speak to Eaglestrike." He scooped up one of the tom-kits again, giving Spiderpaw a glare – as if daring him to stop him – before he began padding forwards again. Natasha hesitated, before picking up the gray tabby.

Blackfeather looked to Spiderpaw, and he shrugged. "Might as well take them back. Eaglestrike will want to talk to Redpaw, I'm sure…considering everything."

"You think he might be a traitor?" she whispered, staring after the ginger tom.

"We're going to find out," Spiderpaw retorted, before padding to follow them. Blackfeather hesitated, before gently grabbing the other tom-kit, who was struggling to keep up with the others.

. . .

Surprise rippled through the Clan as the group entered, and Eaglestrike padded forwards immediately, eyes flashing.

"Redpaw," he growled, before blinking with surprise as he saw the tom's rogue companion. "Natasha? What are you doing here? Who are…?" He blinked at the kits.

Natasha set her kit down, giving Redpaw a grateful look before clearing her throat. "I'm terribly sorry to bother you, Eaglestrike…I know things have been hard for you recently. Redpaw told me bits and pieces. But…I don't have anywhere else to go, after everything that happened this morning, and….We need your help. Twolegplace needs you."

"What happened?" His eyes flicked between her and Redpaw. "Tell me all of it, right now, starting from when you left us."

Redpaw's ears flattened. "I shouldn't have left, I know. It was stupid. But I was…." He shook his head. "I just hated everything. Bluepaw was the only one who ever really had my back, and she's gone…I thought I might get luckier in Twolegplace. _They _appreciate muscle there, for sure. But no one there took me seriously either…and then I ran into Mitch. He said he knew the Clan, and I asked him if he'd help me find somewhere to stay and all that. He took me back to meet Natasha." He nodded to the tabby she-cat. "They told me there had been unrest recently, as Maggot's been grabbing more power, but because Carmelo's wasn't back, he couldn't make a complete grab for power yet, not until he was sure Carmelo couldn't stop him. He was waiting, biding his time…and it was today that he chose to strike." He glanced towards Natasha, and she nodded.

"It's true. Carmelo must have returned last night, because this morning…." She trembled again. "They came for us. Carmelo had all the queens living under the same roof, you see – where Amber used to live – so we were an easy target. They dragged all the males away, under Maggot's orders, and then…then they tried to take our kits. Maggot is…very different, very…_wrong._ I don't know how to explain it. He wanted to start training the kits right away, so he could use them to invade other territories. He wanted to pick our mates for us, to produce strong litters, he wanted us to have more kits to fuel everything….He must have captured Carmelo last night. That's the only way he could begin moving so quickly…he knows Carmelo won't be an issue. He's either dead or imprisoned. Either way, he can't help us now.

"We fought back, of course, all of us…Mitch and my good friend Ivy tried to give me time to run away. Ivy…she was killed. I don't know what happened to Mitch…." She steadied herself with a breath. "I managed to get away, and found where Redpaw was staying. The only safe place I could think of was here, and he agreed to lead me back. He even helped me carry the kits…the gray one is Ivy's daughter. I've…I've decided to call her Ivy, in honor of…."

Spiderpaw felt a flutter of sympathy for the rogue – she had obviously been through a terrible ordeal – and curiosity towards Redpaw. Did the ginger tom truly intend to stay, after admitting that he had been more than willing to work for the Twolegplace cats? He looked back towards his father, awaiting his judgment.

Eaglestrike's face was closed as he surveyed the group, but his eyes softened as they found the smallest kit, and she let out a plaintive mewl.

"The warrior code says we must protect kits, no matter where they come from," he said, "and we owe you and Mitch quite a bit, Natasha. You are welcome to seek shelter with us." He looked towards the nursery, and frowned. "You might have to sleep in the leaders den, for now."

Relief broke over her face. "Thank you. I knew I could count on AshClan."

Redpaw cleared his throat. "And…what about me?"

Eaglestrike's eyes hardened. "That depends. Do you intend to stay? And, if you do, what makes you think we can trust you? You attacked your Clanmates, and ran away. That's not the type of behavior I would expect from a warrior. Not to mention…."

He was clearly thinking of Bluepaw, but Redpaw seemed oblivious.

"Don't keep me, then, I don't care," the apprentice growled, although the slight glimmer of fear in his eyes said otherwise. "I can take care of myself. I don't need any help. I just wanted to make sure Natasha was alright, is all. And…well…." He shuffled his paws. "If I could apologize to Fireblaze, for…for attacking him, and stuff."

Spiderpaw felt a spark of annoyance – _he _didn't deserve an apology? – but he didn't say anything, waiting for his father to decide.

Eaglestrike's jaw clenched. "I'm not sure that would be wise."

At that, Redpaw deflated; for a moment, he looked like a lost kit, eyes dark with anxiety, but he quickly puffed himself back up again, trying to disguise his fear. "Fine. I don't care." He hesitated, then turned away, as if he was going to walk out of camp.

"Sir," Blackfeather interjected, setting down the kit she'd been holding. "With all due respect, Redpaw _did _come back, and he helped Natasha. Like you said, the warrior code says we have to protect kits. Redpaw risked his neck to help her and these kits, and that _does _sound like the behavior of a warrior…at least to me." She flattened her ears as the deputy scrutinized her, but did not back down, and finally Eaglestrike nodded.

"A valid point," he conceded. "Redpaw, you can speak to Fireblaze, if he's willing. We'll leave whether or not you can stay up to him. He's in the nursery, with Leopardpaw."

Confusion flitted over Redpaw's face, as if he couldn't imagine why Fireblaze would be _there, _of all places, but he nodded, moving towards the den in question.

Eaglestrike turned back to Natasha, and flicked his tail towards the leaders den, before picking up the kit that Redpaw had left behind. Blackfeather quickly scooped up hers as well, and they carried the young ones into the leaders den, with Natasha murmuring her thanks all the way.

A loud snarl made Spiderpaw jump, and he turned to find Redpaw backing out of the nursery as Fireblaze advanced upon him, fangs bared. Hot fury crackling in the warrior's eyes as he raised his paw as if to strike the younger tom, and Spiderpaw quickly moved towards them.

"Wait, wait!" he exclaimed. "Fireblaze, hang on, it's okay. Redpaw's not going to hurt anyone."

"Not when I rip him to shreds!" Fireblaze spat, and an almost kit-like sound escaped Redpaw's jaws.

"_Stop, _mousebrain," Spiderpaw growled, darting in between them. "He came back to _apologize _to you."

That gave Fireblaze pause, and he blinked. "What? Is that true? Speak up, now!"

"Y-yeah," Redpaw stammered. "It's kinda a long story, but yeah. Look, I know I shouldn't have attacked you, but I was…I was just so angry, because you were spending time with _Spiderpaw _and he's like…kinda our enemy, or something, I don't know. You just changed all of a sudden, for no reason, and no one else will even talk to me half the time, and I just…." He cast his eyes downwards. "Just don't be mad at me, please. I didn't mean it."

"You didn't _mean _it? You messed me up! Spiderpaw, too!" Fireblaze snapped. "I didn't change for 'no reason.' I didn't even really change, I just realized Spiderpaw wasn't the enemy. He's an okay guy, mostly." He shot the dark tom a glance. "Fighting our Clanmates isn't what we needed to be doing anyway, not in the middle of a crisis. I was being an idiot, and I tugged you into it, but you should have followed me out. Maybe cats would actually talk to you if you weren't such a thorn in their paw."

Redpaw winced. "I know, I know…but don't be mad? Please? I hate Twolegplace, I _hate _it. It's dirty and smelly and cold and I was hungry all the time and cats would jump out at you at any minute and there wasn't anywhere to go when it rained until I met Mitch…it was _terrible. _I don't ever want to go back." He gave Fireblaze a pleading look. "I know I messed up, but I'll do better, I promise."

"You could hardly do _worse,_" Fireblaze snorted. "And you shouldn't just be apologizing to me. Tell Spiderpaw you're sorry, too."

At that, Redpaw seemed irritated, but underneath Fireblaze's stern gaze, he crumbled, staring back down at his paws. "I'm sorry, Spiderpaw."

"For what?" Fireblaze pressed.

"For…pushing you around before. And attacking you. And saying mean things about your sister." He glanced up at Fireblaze, trying to gauge if his apology was over, but the ginger tom's face was impassive. "And, uh…being a jerk? And stuff?"

Fireblaze turned to Spiderpaw, and the black tom rolled his eyes.

"That was a terrible apology," he said, "but I guess it's as good as I'm going to get."

Redpaw's ears pricked. "So, can I stay? Please? Eaglestrike said you get to decide."

"I don't know…." Fireblaze let his words hang in the air for a moment, making Redpaw squirm, before shrugging. "I guess so."

"Thank you!" Redpaw bounced forward, almost knocking Fireblaze over, and he leaned back on his injured leg with a hiss. "Sorry," he meowed, quickly scooting back again. "What's wrong with your leg? And why is your tail—"

"Never mind," Fireblaze interrupted. "Go make yourself a nest in the apprentice den, or something. I'm going back to sleep." He turned away, hobbling back into the nursery, and Redpaw stared after him with confusion, shooting Spiderpaw a curious glance. The black apprentice didn't answer his silent question, too tired to try and explain all that had happened since Redpaw had run off. He'd find out for himself soon enough.

Eaglestrike had padded back out of the leaders den, and was heading to the BranchPile, probably to explain what had just happened to the cats who were just now coming out of the dens, only to pause as Natasha rushed towards him.

"Wait, wait, I forgot something," she panted. "Redpaw told me there's a disease – you call it the chilling disease, he said – running through the Clan? It makes you feverish, and then very cold?"

Eaglestrike nodded, and she smiled. "I think I can help. The disease runs through Twolegplace sometimes, and some cats know how to cure it. It's mostly the higher-ups that know how…herbs in Twolegplace are scarce, you see, and they don't want to share the secret with anyone, but back when Mitch and I were free agents, we learned a thing or two. I don't know where you can find the herbs, but I do know what they are. According to what I've heard, you need foxglove seeds, juniper berries, and chamomile. And then, we heard rumors there's this special plant that grows in the mountains, that is very helpful when combined with those other herbs. I don't know if you can find it, but—" She broke off as Eaglestrike pressed his nose against her shouler, purring for the first time in moons. She blinked with surprise as he drew back, his yellow eyes glinting with hope.

"We've got to tell Shimmerfrost. Come with me," he said, hurrying towards the medicine den. The two of them ducked inside, with the rest of the Clan looking on.

_Could it really be that easy? _Spiderpaw wondered, feeling hope stirring in his belly. _Three simple herbs, three herbs that I think we _have, _could cure the sickness?_

His heart sank as he thought of Jaypaw – how cruel was it, that he had died the day before they'd found the cure? – but he knew the gray tabby had been too far gone for it to matter, even if Natasha had come days earlier.

_If it is true, though, your sister will be safe, _he thought, casting his eyes upwards. _We'll cure the sickness and make sure no one else ever gets it again. Everything will be okay. It has to be. _

He tossed a glance back at Redpaw, who was hovering off to the side, uncertainty glimmering in his eyes.

"Were you just going to wait to mention that she knew the cure, or what?" He couldn't quite keep the scathing note out of his voice, and Redpaw flinched.

"I was a little more worried about staying, okay?" he snapped back defensively. "I figured she'd remember. Give us a break, it's been a tough day."

Spiderpaw forced himself to relent; they had a point. Redpaw and Natasha would have had to move very quickly with two kits in tow to have gotten to them, and it was clear from Redpaw's unkempt pelt and thinner frame that life in Twolegplace had not been easy.

_He doesn't know about Bluepaw, does he? _He asked, eyes narrowing with suspicion. _That would have given him a reason to look for help in Twolegplace, if he thought she was in good with them…but then again, he's not really that bright._

"Rough news about Carmelo, though, isn't it?" he asked, trying to keep his voice level. "I suppose his supporters are in a tight spot."

Redpaw seemed confused by the change in topic. "Uh, yeah. I guess. Does it matter? They're not our allies."

He was either a good actor, or clueless; Spiderpaw was inclined to believe it was the latter.

_I certainly won't be the one to tell him, _he thought looking back to the medicine den, waiting for his father to return.

Eaglestrike did after several minutes, heading to the BranchPile with his head held high. The rest of the Clan, picking up on his shifting mood, whispered amongst themselves and threw glances in Redpaw's direction.

Blackfeather padded towards Spiderpaw, looking perplexed. "What's going on? Why's Redpaw back?"

"Eaglestrike's going to tell in a moment, hang on," Spiderpaw whispered back, blinking up at his father. Eaglestrike waited a moment longer, for the group to collect.

"Natasha and Redpaw have informed us that there has been further unrest in Twolegplace," the deputy declared. "Apparently Maggot has finally made his grab for complete power, taking out Carmelo. It's unknown whether he's alive or dead; we should assume the latter, as there is little reason to keep him alive. Maggot's style appears to be far more brutal than Carmelo's, though, so this is not a cause for celebration. Rather, it means that we must rouse ourselves to fight. We have to cut Maggot off before he sniffs out the rest of Carmelo's supporters, and ends them, assuming complete control of the city. Our only time to attack is now, while he is still working on extending his power throughout Twolegplace. What this means is simple: we need to approach the marsh cats and PeakClan, to gather their support and create a small group that will attempt to get into the heart of the city. Leopardpaw will be our guide." He glanced towards the nursery. "Redpaw might prove useful as well. This group must attempt to get as close to Maggot as possible, in hopes of killing him. From there, we can figure out what to do about the power vacuum his death will leave behind. By no means will this be easy, but I am certain we can do it, with the aid of Fern and the PeakClan cats. But that is not all."

He lifted his chin, a triumphant gleam in his eyes. "Natasha has told us what she believes to be the cure for the chilling disease. Obviously this will take some perfecting, but with PeakClan's help, we hope to have perfected the cure before the week is over. We intend to hold off administering it to Silverstar until we are sure of the dosages needed, for certain reasons, but Jaggedclaw is more than willing to try the tentative cure, and I'm certain PeakClan will not pass up the opportunity. Shimmerfrost and I intend to depart for PeakClan's territory within a few minutes."

He paused, letting the Clan release their surprise and hope; Stormshadow seemed dubious, jaw clenching as he threw the medicine den a suspicious glance. Eaglestrike smiled down at them, before flicking his tail, signaling that he had more to say.

"Redpaw is also rejoining us; he has expressed his regret for his past actions, and has been given another chance, since he did risk himself to bring Natasha and her kits to us. We will be sheltering Natasha and the kits, until the matter in Twolegplace is settled. She intends to stay here, even if the marsh cats offer her a place to stay; we must all keep in mind that their first loyalty was to Carmelo, and although I believe his overthrowing will make them stronger allies against Maggot, once we have deposed him, we can't know what side they might take. I'll meet with them after PeakClan, to see if we can strike up some sort of battle plan."

"Does Leopardpaw know about this?" Blackfeather murmured, ears lowering. "Will she be ready in less than a week for all this? It sounds risky…."

Spiderpaw frowned, glancing over his shoulder towards the nursery, remembering Fireblaze's words. The ginger tom was still too weak to truly defend the golden apprentice.

"I don't know. I'm not sure it matters. If Eaglestrike forces her to go, she's not going to have a choice. But maybe I can go and look after her…." The thought was somewhat terrifying – he'd never stepped foot in Twolegplace, let alone gone after a rising dictator – but he was determined not to let Leopardpaw be surrounded by cats who didn't have her best interests in mind.

Blackfeather's eyes widened. "Oh, Spiderpaw, you can't. It's too dangerous, and you're still learning…."

"So is Leopardpaw…and the marsh cats like me," he argued. "I've had the most contact with them, besides Eaglestrike, and he can't go. The Clan can't risk losing its deputy, while Silverstar's sick."

Blackfeather's eyes darkened. "But, if you got hurt…."

"I'll be fine," he assured her, sweeping his tail against her flank. "Do you really think I'm going to let some scummy street cats get the better of me? Besides, this is all speculative. There's no guarantee PeakClan and the marsh cats will cooperate within the next week. We'll just have to see."

He realized Eaglestrike had finished speaking, and his eyes traced his father's path as he and Shimmerfrost trotted out of camp together, heads high and eyes bright.

"I hope it works," the black she-cat sighed. "I wish we could have heard about it sooner, though…do you think the marsh cats know the cure, too?"

He frowned at that. "I don't know…maybe the higher-ups did…Baron, Fern, their healers. But they didn't really know the details of our sickness, did they? I doubt Eaglestrike wanted to advertise our weaknesses, and _I _definitely didn't say anything about it. Carmelo wouldn't have needed to tell them, either, since he was keeping the details of his plan pretty close." His claws dug into the ground. If the marsh cats did know the cure all along, and they could have just asked them about it….

He sighed quietly. _We couldn't entirely trust them…we still can't, really. Not telling them about the sickness was the right thing to do, even though I'm sure they knew bits and pieces about it from their visits here. It can't be helped now, anyway. _

Blackfeather nuzzled his shoulder. "Well, at least you managed to catch something, I guess….That's something. And the Clan has hope. It might not work out, but at least there's something to lift our spirits, some sort of light at the end of this tunnel." She shook her head. "It just feels like this leaf-bare has lasted for _years, _don't you think? I'll be glad when it's over."

He nodded in agreement. "I'm going to go see if Robinpaw and her family want my blackbird."

She rose to her paws. "I'm going to talk to Fireblaze and Leopardpaw, I guess. See you later, Spiderpaw." She gave him a parting lick, before padding towards the nursery. He smiled to himself, feeling the strange tingling feeling run over his muzzle, before picking up his bird and padding towards the den. A blackbird and the hope for a cure would do little to ease Robinpaw's grief, but they were all he had to offer – that and the knowledge that Jaypaw was watching over them, in the stars, doing his best to protect her even though he could no longer stand at her side.

**AN: A long leaf-bare indeed, miss Blackfeather.**

**Enjoy the semi-early update! Another really long one. ._.**

**Guess that means we're getting closer to the end, though! Very close….**


	69. C h a p t e r 68

**C**_**hapter **_**68**

"And what did you say your ancestors were called, exactly?" Reedrush asked, as the group padded along the gorge, listening to the monsters rush over the Thunderpath.

"The Starwalkers," Sage answered, with a self-deprecating smile. "It sounds strange, I know. It's a combination of names, really. The Walkers are what the rogues used to worship, before the Clan arrived…I don't know much about them, to be honest, just a few legends. Apparently they were mysterious, and very…different from StarClan. More vengeful, I suppose. Very rigid about their traditions. They don't seem to enjoy the behaviors in the mountains shifting, or so I'm told; I haven't spoken to them myself. And then the Star- comes from StarClan, of course, since a number of our 'ancestors,' as you called them, hail from StarClan, or travel between the two groups."

"You said Brackenheart was one of them, right?" Brackenpaw asked, his tail twitching with curiosity.

Sage nodded. "Yes. He's very well-respected by Feather, and most of the ex-FrozenClan cats that remain. He was a very noble cat, according to all I've heard."

The golden tom let out a wistful sigh. "I'd give anything to meet him. I have so many questions, about Northstar and FrozenClan and…everything, really."

Sage smiled. "If you came to visit us, maybe you could."

Sootpaw blinked with surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Our boundaries between healers and other cats aren't as strong as the Clan's separation between medicine cats and warriors," he explained. "We don't like the idea of keeping our ancestors so far apart from regular cats. Everyone should be allowed to consult those that have gone before, if they really need to, don't you think? A lot of our practices are like that, really. Almost everyone has at least some rudimentary knowledge of herbs – enough to come through in an emergency, at least – and I can fight a little."

"And healers can take mates," Swanpaw murmured, and Sage's eyes glinted.

"Yes, we can," he purred. "The reasoning behind it comes from the Walkers, I think. For them, there was no such thing as a cat designated just for healing, so they didn't make those sorts of distinctions, and they definitely outnumber the ex-StarClan cats, at least for now. That might change in the future, but right now the Walkers have more clout. I like it, personally. Too many differences between the two groups can cause unrest, I think…and disillusionment." His eyes darkened, and Sootpaw knew they were both thinking of Bluepaw.

"Hopefully it works out for you," she said softly.

"Hopefully," he agreed. "You all have to visit the mountains sometime once this is all over, you understand? I…well, I feel as though I'm on good terms with all of you, and I'd hate for that to just disappear. It's not such a long walk, really."

Sootpaw nodded, although she was dubious; it seemed as though there was always some new crisis rising up to face them. If it wasn't the sickness, it was Twolegplace, and if it wasn't Twolegplace, it was PeakClan, and if it wasn't PeakClan, there would probably be a badger attack, or something similar. She couldn't imagine ever finding the time necessary to walk all the way to the mountain and back, let alone visit Sage and the others.

_I want to, though, _she thought with a wistful sigh, remembering the glimmering sea, and Minnow's request. _I have questions for all of them, too…as much as I would love to go home and pretend like none of this has ever happened, it _has, _and I'm different because of it. I'll never frolic with Moonpaw again, or crack jokes with Bluepaw. I can't look at Eaglestrike and Ravenwing and Spiderpaw without thinking about my other family. I can't walk through the forest without thinking about the dream I made for Chillpaw, the one he promised to hold onto. I can't really go home at all._

The realization broke over her like icewater, and she had to glance towards the other to make sure they hadn't sensed it. It seemed clear, suddenly, completely obvious. She couldn't go home, or at least she couldn't stay, because it wasn't home anymore. Everything she thought she knew had been turned on its head, flipped upside down. Her friends were not her friends, her family was not her family, and the cat she loved had disappeared. There was nothing waiting for her there, nothing she could face.

Her eyes drifted back to Sage, as he chatted with the other apprentices, answering their questions, and she wondered what it would be like to really be his sister, to speak of it openly, to walk next to him through the mountains as if she belonged. She pictured walking down the beach, next to the rolling, crashing, dazzling waves. She imagined being between him and Swift, the sister she hadn't even spoken to, exploring the forest that Ravenwing had once called home. She thought of Minnow and whatever stories she had to tell, whatever bits and pieces she knew of Belladonna that no one else had. She visualized the Starwalkers, trying to figure out what they might look like, whatever wisdom they might hold. And, in her heart, she felt a strange fluttering, a hopeful beating in her chest. Going to the mountains – _staying _in the mountains – wasn't something she would have considered even half a moon ago, but now – now that everything was strange, now that all the lies and truths had come to light, now that she knew everything there was to know – it was a tantalizing prospect. An escape. An alternate past.

She tried imagining explaining it to them – Ravenwing and Eaglestrike and Spiderpaw and Reedrush and the rest of the Clan – but flinched away. It was too painful to think about still, too raw, but the truth had to come out eventually. She couldn't let Ravenwing and Eaglestrike think they had a daughter forever. It wasn't fair to them, not when she knew the truth. And she knew they wouldn't reject her, knew they would still ove her, but was that enough for her or them or anyone else? Everything would be different when she came back to the Clan, _everything, _and none of it was good.

Sage would be delighted, she was sure. He would be more than happy to greet her as his sister, to show her everything he knew, to explore every inch of the territory with her and make sure she saw every wonder. He would tell her everything there was to know about his world, and she would tell him all of hers, and perhaps that would be enough.

Then, there was Rook. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, saw how his familiar dark pelt lurched with every uneven step. Would he come with her? She didn't know. He wouldn't want to stay in the Clan, that much was obvious. He would be happier with his own little territory, or perhaps as a wanderer; the structure of Clan life would be too much for him. There would be room enough for that in the mountains, she thought, and she imagined his shaggy form leaping from rock to rock with wild, defiant ease, shadowed by Nightingale. Nightingale would certainly enjoy being close to the friend she had found in Sage, and learning more of his trade. It might work out for them, after all.

Then, the smile slid from her face. Of course it wouldn't work out. It couldn't. If she had learned anything from the journey, it was that nothing worked out the way you wanted it to, no matter how hard you tried, or how much you wanted it to, no matter how hard you prayed or wished or hoped. Something always came by and smashed your plans into pieces, tore everything you knew to shreds and left you to pluck at the scraps. She would never go to the mountains. She would never see the sea again. She would never speak with Minnow and seek her answers, or walk with Sage and Swift, or explore the forest. She would never do any of that, would never even try; even dreaming of it was foolish. The world would see to it that such things never came to pass. Holding such fragile hopes in her heart would only leave her open to falling again, to having the black tide come back and consume her.

She felt Rook nudge her with his shoulder, and she looked up quickly, seeing concern glimmering in his green eyes.

"Something wrong?" he asked. "I know Sage's stories are kinda borin', but you look glummer than usual."

She did her best to paste on a smile, but she had never been good at deception, and they both knew it. "I'm fine. Just tired."

He looked skeptical, but only shrugged. "Aight. Let me know when you wanna talk 'bout it."

"Nothing to talk about," she said, and he snorted at the lie, but said nothing more as he drifted back towards Nightingale, who was engrossed in whatever Sage was saying. Sootpaw let her own thoughts wander away again, preferring to lose herself in contemplation rather than run the risk of hoping again.

. . .

They settled down for the night, and broke into pairs, as usual. Sootpaw was content to be on her own – there was always someone left out, although usually it was Reedrush – but Rook followed her as she tried to get away from the rest of the group.

"Brack'npaw and Nightingale are gettin' chummy since they sparred with each other," he said by way of explanation as they padded into the thicker forest. "She's determined to get to know everyone, I think."

Sootpaw didn't say anything, only nodding even when Rook frowned at her. He tried again, making an offhand remark about the weather, but she didn't rise to his bait, still lost in her thoughts. It was easier that way; she didn't have to acknowledge the chill to the air, the bite, the gray clouds threatening snow over their heads.

She found herself bumping into a warm barrier, and blinked, realizing that Rook had stopped in front of her to block her path. He frowned down at her, green eyes glowing from within his dark fur.

"What's the matter?" he growled. "You were all smiles that one day when we sparred, all light. You keep shiftin' 'round, and I'm not swift enough to keep up with your tempest. What's wrong?"

She only stared at him, because he knew better than anyone, knew exactly what was wrong, but he still seemed clueless.

"I'm fine," she lied, trying to get past him, but he moved to stop her again.

"You can tell me," he insisted. "You told me everything else. You kin tell me this."

"Can I?" she asked, and found an uncharacteristic spark of anger rising within her. "Can I, really? When I do, are you going to tell me I'm being silly? Are you going to call him 'the dead one' again, and tell me to just get over it, to pretend that horrible things don't happen for no reason at all, and that I should just smile and shrug it off? That I should just get over it, pretend none of it ever happened?"

Surprise flashed over his face. "Look, I dint mean it like that. I'm sorry if it came off that way, I just—"

"'You can't keep hoping,'" she went on, as if he hadn't spoken at all. "Isn't that what you said? You were right, as it turns out. I can't. I can't keep thinking that things are going to turn around and get better because they're _not. _I thought it couldn't get worse than finding out that Blight was my father. It did. I thought it couldn't get worse than finding out that Bluepaw was a traitor. It did. I thought it couldn't get worse than Chillpaw forgetting me. It did. I thought it couldn't get worse than him betraying me. It did. I don't think it can get worse than losing him forever, but that just means that it _will. _Something else is going to happen, something else always does, and I can't keep stooping to pick up the pieces and put them back together and hoping that they won't break again. There's no _point _in it, no sense, not in any of it. It's all like one big cosmic joke with a never-ending punch line, and I just can't _stomach _it anymore."

He stared at her, eyes wide. Then, his gaze hardened.

"So you're givin' up," he said. "That's what you're sayin', underneath the pretty words. Things are just so terrible that you have no choice but to curl up and wait for them to get worse. I dunno why I bothered gettin' you out of the stream in the first place, if this is the path you're goin' down. A life without hope isn't a life at all, Sootpaw. If you can't see that, then I guess you belong in a stream somewhere." He stepped to the side, tilting his head. "Go on, then. Go find another stream, or maybe a lonely den, or, heck, why not just lay out in front of the Thunderpath and get it over with? Why waste time? Why let them get the jump on you, eh? Why not just end it all before things can get worse? That'll show 'em, won't it?" His voice was bitter and cutting, and she flinched, hardly able to believe he was the same cat that had led her up the bank before, had fished her out of the icy water.

"I don't want to die," she whispered, voice trembling. "I just…I just can't see what it all means, Rook. I can't see how any of this could ever turn out to be good, I can't see us ending up happily with everything that's happened and everything that could happen and…." She shook her head. "I can't do it. I'm not strong enough. Everyone seems to think that I am, but I'm _not, _I'm barely more than a kit, barely more than anything at all. I don't belong with the Clan and I'll never make it to the mountains again. I just end up hurting whoever I'm with, and I can't stand it, can't _stand _it. If something was to happen to you or Nightingale or Sage or anyone else, if it was my fault just like Rainwind and Nettlefrost and Chillpaw…." Her voice trailed off to a whimper, and she looked down at the ground, unable to bear his harsh gaze.

His thick tail flicked under her chin, forcing her head up again, and she was surprised to find his eyes had softened.

"You belong right where you _are,_" his said, his voice husky with concern. "Wherever you are at any given moment, that's where you belong. No one place can give you any sort of meaning. You've got to find it yourself. And you can't blame yourself for what's happened in the past – that's all it is, the past. I never meant to belittle what you had for Chillpaw – what you still have. I cain't understand it, cain't imagine what you been through, and anythin' I say will fall shorta that. He is 'the dead one' to me because I never knew him, but I shoulda known better than to say it to you, because yer feelings for him are still very real, and there's nothing wrong with that.

"But you can't just give up. You can't throw away everything that's happened because you don't know what's coming next. Yeah, the future's uncertain for you. It's uncertain for alla us: yer no different. We can't all just roll over, give up. Not everyone can have a happy endin', that's true, but you can give yer damnest and hope you get it. And maybe it won't be what you thought it was. Maybe yours isn't bein' in the Clan and bein' a warrior or whatever. Maybe it's not gettin' yer fancy name alongside yer brother and finding Chillpaw again. Maybe that's not what you're meant to do. Maybe yer destined for diff'rent things. Maybe yer supposed to go to the mountains and come to terms with losing Chillpaw and figger everythin' out from there. Who knows? I cain't pretend to, but I do know that neither of those will happen if you just give up, if you just lie down and wait to die. Yeah, there's no guarantee that everythin' will turn out okay if you try your best, but there's no chance whatsoever if you don't try at all."

He reached down, touching her nose with his own. Unlike with Chillpaw, there was no rush of cold, no strange tingling running through her pelt, only a strange sort of warmth that brushed the memory of the icy stream away.

"I'm not gonna let you give up. Not on anythin'," he said. "You _are _strong, stronger than you kin see now – but someday you will. Someday everythin' will make sense. I promise you that. Someday – maybe moons from now, maybe years – you'll be able to look back and see what all of this was leading to, all of your mistakes and victories and sorrows and joys all rolled up together, because it's not just for nothing. I refuse to believe that. This whole journey has been for a reason. You saved me an' Nightingale, at the very least. We wouldn't have lasted more 'n' a couple more moons with Adder. He was crazy, but we had nowhere else to go. You gave us a way out. Yer the one who spoke up when no one else would – just that takes a bit of strength. Nightingale and I would prolly be dead by now if it weren't for you – isn't that enough, at least for the moment?"

She remembered the crazed tom's twisted smile, the gleam of madness in his eyes. If they had just left Rook and Nightingale behind, forgotten about them, it wouldn't have been long before Adder learned about Rook's injured leg. Rook would have been useless to him then, expendable, and Nightingale would have been killed trying to defend him. The tom standing before her now would have ceased to exist.

He nudged her again with his nose. "You _saved _us, cain't you see? And you saved them too, Swiftshade and Shrew, and you gave Nettlefrost the chance to redeem herself, and you let Chillpaw have his second chance. Now he can live a new life somewhere, without ever havin' to know about all the terrible stuff he did. He gets a clean slate. Isn't that worth at least a part of the pain you've suffered on this journey? Doesn't that help it make sense, at least a little bit? Isn't that a reason to be hopeful?"

She tried to swallow, but found a lump growing in her throat. She opened her mouth, wanting to speak, but it choked her, and all she could do was press her face against his shoulder. He hesitated, before nuzzling her ear very gently. He let her lean against him for several minutes, before she regained control of herself and pulled away.

"Do you really think I did that?" she asked. "Do you think I saved them? Saved you?"

"I know it," he answered, eyes smoldering like green embers. "You made a diff'rence for alla us. There's no doubt in my mind."

At that, she found the strength to smile, and she allowed herself to imagine it, the sweeping mountains and rolling ocean and feeling of family. "And…and you still think there's hope for happy endings? You think we might get out of this in one piece?"

"I dunno about one piece…everything gets broken eventually. But I do believe in happy endings, make no mistake a' that. If anyone's earned one, it's you, Sootpaw. I…I don't think Chillpaw will be part of it. He's gone, an' even you know that. He can't come back now, but maybe that's for the better. He _chose _it, chose to go into the Pool, even though he knew he wouldn't be coming back out as himself, because he wanted a new life. You've got to let him have that, and you've got to make one for yourself. I know you loved him, and I'm sure he loved you, but the sun's set on that now, and I think yer strong enough to let go, when it comes time. But I kin promise you one thing: I'll be there the whole way. Every step. And we'll get you your happy ending, one way or another."

She blinked up at him, unable to entirely reconcile him with the gruff, curse-spitting tom she'd first met in the forest, in what almost felt like another lifetime. She smiled again, and nodded, not trusting herself to murmur more than a quiet "Thank you," and to give his muzzle a quick, fleeting lick.

He cleared his throat and ruffled his fur, seeming embarrassed. "Er. Anyway. Kinda went on a rant there. But you feel better, right? Right. Uh…should we get to huntin', then?"

"There's a mouse out there somewhere with your name on it, I'm sure," she meowed, and a grin twisted his muzzle.

"Bet I can catch something before you," he purred, and although she knew he was only trying to distract her, she leaped at it whole-heartedly.

"Fat chance," she replied, before darting deeper into the forest, hearing his heavy pawsteps coming after her as she wove through the ferns and fallen branches, feeling the stars shining above her head.

. . .

"'Ey. Sootpaw. Wake up. C'mon, wake up."

She stirred as a paw prodded her muzzle, opening her eyes to find Rook peering down at her. She sat up with a sleepy yawn, rubbing one eye with her paw. "What is it?"

"Nightingale had another dream."

She perked up immediately, glancing towards the pretty she-cat, who nodded.

"Tell me," Sootpaw said immediately, and Nightingale smiled, sat back, and began signing away.

_The journeying cats sat in the center of the cavern, huddled together with their new allies as they whispered to one another. One cat crept away from the group, throwing the rest of them a furtive glance, before heading into the tunnel that led upwards, out of the cavern._

_She walked until she could see the guards standing in front of the entrance, blocking the sun's light. Quietly, she cleared her throat, and the guards turned towards her, eyes widening._

"_You don't belong back here!" one barked. "Someone should have stopped you. What's—"_

"_There's been an uprising," the she-cat growled. "The new cats have risen up and broken out of the smaller cavern. They've convinced many of the others to join them, and they're plotting to overthrow Kestrel. I think we all know that's a fool's plan, but it could still be dangerous for Kestrel. I want to help you. I can spy on them, and tell you their plans."_

_One of the guards squinted at her with suspicion. "In exchange for what?"_

_She shrugged. "Whatever you wish to offer. One thing, though; I need to speak to Cloudpaw. She's the young newcomer who defected to Kestrel right away. Let me talk to her, and afterwards, you can use me however you like, to protect Kestrel."_

_The guards exchanged glances; finally, one nodded. "Alright. I'll go find 'er. Be right back."_

_He lumbered away, but the other guards continued to stare at the she-cat; she raised her chin at them, refusing to show any trace of fear. _

_Some time later, the guard returned, with the little she-cat in tow. Her eyes widened, and she mewed, "Amberfur."_

_Amberfur didn't react to her name, only flicking her tail. "Come this way with me. Just for a bit of privacy." She glanced towards the guards, but they didn't object, watching her closely. The two she-cats edged down the tunnel, going as far as they could before one of the guards growled a warning._

"_What do you want?" Cloudpaw hissed, her blue eyes narrowed with suspicion and a touch of fear._

"_Are you proud of what you've done?" Amberfur asked, ignoring the apprentice's questions as her eyes bored into the little she-cat. Cloudpaw seemed thin, tired, and afraid; her blue eyes were almost hollow as she stared up at the RiverClan she-cat. "Proud of betraying me, and everyone else? Proud of following that flea-bitten fool?"_

_Cloudpaw's pelt bristled, but there was no real anger behind the gesture. "I did what I had to do. This entire journey was a fool's errand, and I want no part in it anymore. We've basically been exiled from the Clan, so I don't owe them a thing, not anymore."_

_Amberfur hissed. "That's not true, and you know it. Like it or not you _are _a Clan cat. And how is this any better, being Kestrel's lackey? Doing whatever he asks? Is this what you set out on this journey to do, Cloudpaw?"_

"_We can't bring SkyClan back!" Cloudpaw's voice rose, and she looked over her shoulder to make sure the guards couldn't hear. "Our entire journey was a sham. It doesn't matter what we set out to do, because we'll never _do _it. It's impossible. I've given up, and so should you. You're smart, Amberfur. Kestrel could use cats like you – like us."_

"_You're right. We'll never find SkyClan. But that's not the real purpose of our journey; that's becoming rapidly clear," Amberfur replied. "We were fated to do something else. We were destined to rescue these cats. Isn't it obvious?" Her eyes softened, if only for a moment. "I know you're still angry about Nightpaw's death. You have every right to be. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how things could have been different, how we could have saved her…but do you really want her sacrifice to have been in vain? Do you want her death to have been for nothing, for it to only have helped lead to us being trapped here?"_

_Cloudpaw's ears flattened. "I…I can't help you. Kestrel's very strong. He's led these cats for a long time, and they're loyal to him. There's nothing we can do."_

"_That's where you're wrong, Cloudpaw. We _have _a plan. I just need to know you'll help us." She ducked her head to touch the apprentice's nose with her own. "You're not a bad cat. We both know that. You've lost your path, but you can find your way back. We believe in you."_

_Cloudpaw swallowed, looking torn. Then, she ducked her head. "Tell me what to do."_

_Amberfur bent down to whisper something in her ear, and the dream flashed forward, with Amberfur returning to the whispering cats._

"_Everything went exactly as planned," she murmured to Fogheart as she took her place in the huddle once more. "Did anyone see me go?"_

"_No," he whispered back. "A few guards have gathered up there, and they've bee standing near the boulders and watching us, but they've been trying to figure out what we're planning. The communication between them and the guards in the tunnel seems very poor. They don't really know what's going on, I don't think, not without Kestrel. He must be attending other business…finding new cats to lure, probably. Cloudpaw agreed to help?"_

_Amberfur nodded, and Fogheart smiled. "I thought she would. I'm not sure the others will be so willing to trust her, once all's said and done, but I knew she wasn't a bad cat."_

"_What do we do now?" the silver-and-white she-cat murmured, and he smiled again._

"_Wait."_

Rook paused, watching Nightingale sign. "Then things skipped forward again, she said. A few days passed with them waiting, and the guards kinda milling about, watching them…they didn't really know what to do without Kestrel giving them orders. An uprisin' never happened before, I reckon. But when he came back…."

"_What's this?" he spat, perched on the edge of the hole in the cavern's ceiling. "They escaped the smaller chamber? Is that what you're telling me? No one thought to go down there and separate them again?"_

"_Some of the others have taken up residence in that chamber…out of fear," one of the guards next to him grunted. "We couldn't get them moving again without trouble."_

"_Well, we know how to quash these rebellions, now don't we?" Kestrel hissed. "Honestly, I can't leave you alone for a few days without something going wrong. You're hopeless, the lot of you. But before we smash them to pieces…." He turned his head. "Cloudpaw! Come here. See if you can talk some sense into your friends."_

_The white she-cat drifted into view, peering down into the hole as well._

"_I'd urge them to reconsider, if I were you," Kestrel growled. "Appeal to their common sense, if they have any."_

_Cloudpaw continued to stare down at the trapped cats, but her eyes were glazed, lost in thought; Kestrel didn't notice, as he had already turned around to snap at a few more cats._

"_Get next to the boulders, move! Be prepared to push them on my order, if these dolts don't get back where they belong. It's been awhile since we've had to spill any blood here, but I think it's a little overdue. They're not as fearful as they ought to be, that much is clear." He looked back at her. "What are you doing? Talk to them, you idiot. Don't just stand there."_

_Cloudpaw swallowed, then raised her head, her decision made. "Yes, sir," she said, but when he looked away again, she lunged, just as the cats below moved away from the center._

_The white apprentice tackled Kestrel with all her might, sending the two of them tumbling. Down and down they fell, until they hit the cavern's floor with a thump. For a moment, they were both motionless, as the prisoners looked on. Then, in unison, they twitched, and Kestrel's head rose with a choked gasp. He struggled to his paws, rounding on the wounded Cloudpaw with a snarl, only to freeze as he realized his position: he was surrounded by the cats he had imprisoned._

"_Alright," he said slowly, still wheezing from the fall, "alright. Let's not be hasty, now. I'm sure we can all reach some sort of agreement."_

_As he spoke, there was a groaning above his head; he rolled to the side to avoid a massive boulder that thudded down from above, hitting the floor with a deafening crack._

"_Idiots!" Kestrel spat. "Stop! Just get _down _here, don't toss rocks at me!"_

"_No," Fogheart rumbled, taking a step forward. "If your guards come down here, I can promise, your head will roll. If they're smart, they'll keep their distance." He looked towards the others. "We're getting out of here. Amberfur, make sure Cloudpaw is alright."_

_The calico she-cat was already padding towards the white apprentice, helping her to her paws. Cloudpaw's paw was twisted, but she seemed otherwise unhurt, and managed a smile despite the pain._

_Kestrel's eyes darted around the group. "Come, now. You can't honestly think you'll get away with this. There's no way out. If you intend to use me as a hostage, as soon as we're above ground, you're going to be surrounded. You'll have to let me go."_

"_There are far more of us than there are of your cats," Whitecloud said, her eyes glinting. "That was a misstep, I think, gathering so many prisoners and so few guards."_

_He swallowed. "I can make it worth your while to let me go – any of you. Act now, and you'll be rewarded handsomely."_

_No one moved; anyone that might have taken him up on his offer had already moved into the smaller cavern to hide. Kestrel's eyes darted around once more, before he bolted, racing towards the tunnel._

_The injured tom did not get far before the ginger warrior of WindClan tackled him to the ground. Kestrel thrashed, but the WindClan warrior was soon joined by the others, and Kestrel stopped as he realized there was no getting free._

"_Fools," he hissed. "All of you, complete fools. Especially you, Cloudpaw. You could have had everything, and instead—"_

"_I did what was right," Cloudpaw mewed, leaning against Amberfur. "I found my way back."_

_The prisoners marched Kestrel up the tunnel, with Fogheart and the silver-and-white she-cat in the lead. The guards growled at them, but were forced to allow them through, lest harm come to their boss._

_Kestrel glowered as the prisoners reached the warm sunlight; Fogheart purred quietly, allowing it to caress his pelt, before turning and waiting for the others to exit. The guards gathered around them, looking uneasy, but their numbers were too few to enforce their will without the advantage of surprise or boulders. _

"_Now then," Fogheart said, "we don't want to hurt anyone. Our freedom's all we desire, and we're going to have it, one way or another." He looked to the guards. "We have no animosity towards you; you've just been doing what you're told, after all, am I right? You're more than willing to join us."_

_The guards glanced towards each other, shifting with unease; Kestrel bared his fangs._

"_You'll do no such thing, if you're wise," he growled. "We can get this all under control, make no mistake. Attack, you fools. There are fewer of you, but you're far stronger. These cats are weak, underfed, and tired. They can't—" He broke off as Amberfur smacked his muzzle with one paw. He gave her an incredulous look, and she hissed,_

"_That's quite enough." She whipped around to face the guards. "I assure you, if you are stupid enough to attack us, you're going to end up just like your friends. Stop following this golden coward; he's been praying on the lot of you, using you for his own gain. When's he ever been nice to you? I bet he's been living like a king, and making you all do his dirty work, isn't that right? There will be no more of that business, not while we're here. You can either join us now, or get out."_

_The guards looked at one another again. Then, one stepped forward, bowing his broad head. The others quickly folded, following suit, much to Kestrel's astonishment. Fogheart gave him a look of something akin to pity._

"_You've lost, my friend," he rumbled. "We don't want to kill you; the last thing we need is more blood on our claws. We'll let you go, so long as you swear to never return."_

"_You all can rot in—" Amberfur smacked him again, sending him reeling, and his gaze crackled with hot fury._

"_You're not going to get a better offer," the silver-and-white she-cat said. "Your reign is over, Kestrel. Be gone with you. This territory is no longer your home."_

_The others stepped away from him then, and he looked around the group, hunting for a friendly or sympathetic face, but of course there were none._

"_After all I've done for—all I helped you with—I fed you, I gave you a place to—" he sputtered with disbelief, but received impassive expressions in response. Finally, his shoulders slumped, as the golden tom was forced to admit defeat. He smoothed away his anger and resentment, flashing them a bright smile instead. "That's alright, that's okay. There are plenty of other territories, other cats. I'll have things up and running again somewhere else, just you wait."_

"_I hope you won't pursue this again," Fogheart said, "but if you do, you'll be stopped, as such things always are…just not by us, next time. Best of luck to you, if you decide to follow a more peaceful path. If not…." He shrugged._

_Kestrel gave them one last parting smirk, before padding away with as much dignity as a beaten tom could muster, heading upwards, towards the mountaintop. _

"And then things kinda got weird," Rook said. "Nightingale said she was kinda…dragged along with him? And everything went real fast. She only saw flashes. But he ended up in some backwater city, some tiny, sleepy town…she thinks it was our Twolegplace, actually, but a long time ago, way before it became what it is now."

Sootpaw eyes widened at that: it was possible that Kestrel was some ancestor of Carmelo's, then, although it was unlikely that Carmelo was aware of this fact.

"And then it ended?" she asked, but Rook shook his head.

_Fogheart watched the golden tom disappear, before turning to the silver-and-white she-cat. "Thank you very much for your support, miss. I'm afraid we never got your name…?"_

"_Guppy," she said with a twitch of her whiskers, "and you're welcome. We wanted out as much as you all did…we just didn't have the first push necessary to get it done." She looked back towards the tunnels. "I suppose we should get the cowards now, let them know that Kestrel is gone. But, I do wonder, what do you have in mind for us now?"_

_At that, Fogheart smiled. _

"Then he tol' them what they were there for, all about the journey and that borin' stuff," Rook said, although Nightingale's expression made it clear that _she _had rather enjoyed Fogheart's story, "and said he wanted to make them into a Clan, if they were okay with it. And Guppy said 'yep,' and then it went all fast again. She just saw bits and pieces, but basically, Fogheart changed his name to…Fogstar? And they made a thing called FogClan and he got nine lives or something…are you sure that part wasn't just a real dream, 'cause that sounds kinda—"

"It's real," she assured him. "Leaders get nine lives, and change their names. _Then _was it over?"

Rook shook his head. "Sssh, no. Then he and that white one – watcha say her name was? Whitecloud? – shacked up and had a buncha kits." Sootpaw's eyes widened again, but she didn't interrupt as he went on, "and those two apprentices became mates too, and Oakclaw turned out to be okay I guess – is he like our Thistlethorn, or something? – and there were babies and gross stuff everywhere. Ugh. It started off so cool, but then it got all girly, and—" He stopped as Nightingale frowned at him. "Sorry, sorry. Uh…well yeah, things were nice. Guppy had some kits too, but they didn't stay in the Clan long. Ended up leavin' and runnin' outta the mountains and into another forest, or something'. Fogheart's buddies were one big ol' Clan for awhile, but things got weird when the Clan kept getting bigger and bigger. It got _too _big for one cat to handle, or even two or three, and after Fogstar passed away – he was old, died in his sleep – the Clan split up into a buncha little ones. That one apprentice – Foxpaw? – was FogClan's deputy, but decided to break it up once Fogstar passed, 'cause he knew he couldn't run the whole thing. He and his mate founded BirchClan, and took up part of the forest. ShellClan popped up by the sea, MarshClan took the marsh – real original name, that – and the last one, made up of the WindClan descendants and some others – took the rolling hills and part of the mountains too.

"But things didn't last longer than a few generations, 'cause Twolegs started meddlin' about, as they are wont to do. The hill-Clan – we dunno their name, seems to have been lost or somethin' – was the first to take off, since the Twolegs were all up in their mountains. And they walked and walked and even passed by Kestrel's little town, though they didn't know it. One cat left them then, a weird-looking calico, and she settled in Twolegplace and I guess had some kits too. And eventually the hilly-Clan found a forest all their own, with a big river and a weird rock thing, and they settled there after chasing out the local rogues. Poor guys, that kinda sucks.

"Eventually the other three had to run away too, when the Twolegs got too intense with their roads and whatnot. So they ran out and ended up follering that thingy we follered – Thundertracks, is that what you ended up callin' the little Thunderpath? – and they found a new set of mountains and an ol' burnt forest, and they all settled there and things were great." He waited, tilting his head to the side as Nightingale finished signing. "And that's the end."

Sootpaw was reeling from the information crowding her mind; that was it, what the journey had been all about. That's where the Clans had come from; BirchClan, MarshClan, and ShellClan hadn't just popped out of thin air. They had a lineage, a legacy, and no one alive remembered it at all, no one but her and these two rogues. She could only stare at them for a moment, feeling awed by the history hanging around their heads.

"Nightingale's wonderin' what all that stuff was for," Rook said. "I mean, it doesn't sound like it relates to our journey, beyond Kestrel bein' kicked out. Hopefully that means we get to kick some rogue buttocks. That'd be fantastic."

"Those Clans – the ones that came from FogClan – are where AshClan and the others came from," Sootpaw explained. "It's a long story – you have no idea – but basically, that forest where they settled had rogues in it...rogues that didn't like the Clans. They tried becoming a Clan themselves, and they made FrozenClan, but the leader hated the forest cats and started a war…and then his son killed him and finished the war by beating the forest Clans and killing most of them and capturing the rest…but a few cats got away, and they built AshClan, with the help of everyone else…and that other Clan, the one that found the big rock place, must have been PeakClan. PeakClan and AshClan were enemies, but then they became friends, and then there was this guy named Lion who kinda came out of nowhere and then there was Lightstar, who looked like a bad dude but just kinda died alla a sudden…and there were kidnappings and cats falling in love and death and battles and peace and redemption and betrayal and twisted families – like you wouldn't even believe - and…." She shook her head, realizing she lacked the ability to tell such a confusing story. "It's complicated. Very, very complicated. But these dreams are _huge _for the Clan. It's…it's basically where we all came from."

_Where Carmelo came from, even, _she marveled. _Belladonna, too...that calico from the Clan that became PeakClan must have been her ancestor. That's how she was able to receive StarClan's dreams, why they thought she might become a medicine cat. __And…and maybe Minnow's origins lied there too? Might Guppy have been her ancestor, or something? It's impossible to say, but…._

Rook shrugged. "If you say so. It was a cool story, I guess. But you don't think there will be more?"

"It sounds like their story is over, to me," she mewed, and realized she felt almost sad. "Nightingale's dreams should be ancient-cat-free from now on."

To her surprise, Rook smiled. "That was a happy endin' tho, doncha think? Their journey succeeded after all. Everythin' turned out okay."

She felt her muzzle twitch into a smile. "Everything turned out okay," she repeated, and her heart fluttered in her chest with forbidden hope as she blinked into his green eyes.

Nightingale made a rasping squeak, and Sootpaw turned to find the pointed she-cat staring up at the sky with wonder. Sootpaw followed her gaze, eyes widening as she saw small white flakes tumbling towards the ground, stark against the dark sky. She opened her mouth, and felt the bittersweet sting against her tongue as she managed to catch one. She felt it again, that terrible, longing grief, that feeling as though some paw was gripping her chest. She closed her eyes, seeing his icy eyes dancing behind her lids, and with a quiet breath, she let go.

_And we'll get you your happy ending, one way or another, _she heard Rook say again, and as she felt his tail brush her flank on one side, and Nightingale touch the other, she allowed herself to believe him.

**AN: Sooty, that might be the best Shattered summary I've ever heard. It really was a big confusing mess…but I think a Chilled summary would be even messier.**

**Seriously, try to summarize it. I think the results would be pretty humorous. xD **


	70. C h a p t e r 69

**AN: Holy shit how did this story get so long**

**It might actually have more chapters than **_**TR, **_**holy shoop**_**.**_** I was never expecting that. What have I done. .-.**

**C**_**hapter **_**69**

"Today is the day." Eaglestrike's voice was soft from atop the BranchPile, but every cat was straining to hear. "Today, we embark to end Maggot's menace once and for all. It is perhaps a bit earlier than we were expecting, but nothing can be done about that. Shimmerfrost has told me that Leopardpaw will be well enough to lead us forward, and with Natasha's information, finding Maggot should not be difficult.

"The plan is to cast both the warriors we send and those from PeakClan that join us as prisoners of the marsh cats. They will be acting as though they wish to regain Maggot's favor by delivering him prisoners, and hopefully will be able to get to Maggot himself through this deception, whereupon we may attack and – with any luck – crush him. It will be a dangerous mission – make no mistake of that – and we do not know how likely it is to succeed…but it is our only hope. We cannot throw ourselves in our entirety towards Maggot; he is too powerful. We can only hope that he is deceived long enough for us to get the upper paw.

"Now." His head rose, and his eyes swept over the gathered cats. "The time has come to ask for volunteers. We can only bring three; we can't spare more warriors than that, at the moment. Who will step forward?"

"I will," Frostfeather said immediately. Her voice was ragged with grief and her usually-beautiful fur was tangled and unkempt, but her eyes glowed as she blinked up at the deputy. "Maggot's rogues attacked my daughter and my son, and they killed Jaypaw, through silence rather than claws. I won't let that go unpunished."

Darkstorm pressed his pelt against hers, and Robinpaw sat between them, staring down at her paws, ears flat against her head.

"I'm coming too," Petalcloud mewed. "The rogues have tried to tear my family apart as well…and Fern and I have spoken before. We have a bit of a rapport, I suppose, and that should come in handy."

Eaglestrike nodded to the both of them, before sweeping his gaze over the Clan again, waiting for the third volunteer.

Spiderpaw's heart thudded in his ears as he slowly rose. Immediately, his father's eyes narrowed.

"No," he growled. "Leopardpaw is the only apprentice that will be on this journey. We need trained, experienced warriors. You're not there yet."

He clenched his jaw, refusing to back down. "I promised Fireblaze I'd protect Leopardpaw. If we can't convince you to give her more time to recover, then I have to come. Besides, I'm a good fighter, and I won't slow the group down. I can help."

"He knows the rogues very well, too," came a soft voice, and Spiderpaw turned, surprised to find it was Blackfeather. She gave him a small smile, before continuing, "The marsh rogues are fond of him, I think – or at least a few of them are. He knows them better than most, and he's shown himself to be sympathetic towards their cause, something they'll appreciate. The PeakClan cats will be very hot-tempered, and someone will need to help smooth their relations with the marsh cats. Petalcloud and Spiderpaw can work together to do so, as mentor and apprentice."

"Not to mention he's been captured before," Leopardpaw rasped, from within the nursery. Her jaw was clenched – it was quite clear she did not want to go to Twolegplace – but her expression was resolute. "It will seem more credible; Maggot's doubtlessly heard that Spiderpaw's mouth got him into trouble once, and it would make sense for it to have happened again, especially if you all pretend you didn't know I was the traitor until you were captured. I'm sure we can make up some sort of story about me leading my mentor and an apprentice – as well as his mentor – into the marsh cat's paws. Those sorts of connections will make the story seem more credible. Maggot's sharp, and he'll be tough to fool, but every bit will help."

"Absolutely not," Eaglestrike hissed, his gray tail lashing. "My daughter's already on one journey. I won't have my son out on another, not when the situation is so delicate. He's still an apprentice, he's—"

"—ready," Ravenwing mewed, tilting her head to blink up at her mate. "Spiderpaw's not a wayward kit anymore. He's not jumping into a river without knowing how strong the current is. He knows what he's volunteering for, and he's ready for it. He wants to protect his Clanmates, to stand by them when they need him the most. He's been working hard ever since he was made an apprentice, and there's no doubt that he's a capable fighter, not to mention that he's matured in other ways, too. He's ready, love. There's no reason to hold him back."

Eaglestrike's claws gripped the branches, and his eyes narrowed as he stared down at his son with blazing eyes. Spiderpaw didn't quail, staring back with equal ferocity, and finally the deputy sighed, as his anger gave way.

"All of those points are valid," the gray tom conceded. "I can't pretend they are not, although I'd like to…and we can't let too many of our warriors go, in case there is another battle on our territory. Fine. Spiderpaw, you may go." He looked to Petalcloud and Frostfeather. "Keep an eye on him. Protect him."

"With our lives," Petalcloud promised, and Spiderpaw's face heated with resentment at still being treated like a kit. He knew his father was only doing it out of love, but that was how it always was, with Leopardpaw or Eaglestrike or Fern rushing in to save him when he got over his head.

_Not this time. This time, I'll be doing the saving, _he thought, glancing towards the golden apprentice. _We're going to crush Maggot, gut him, and come back home as heroes. I'll accept nothing less._

"Alright," Eaglestrike said, "we can't waste much more time. Say your goodbyes, and be on your way. We salute you three for your bravery and loyalty, and hope you'll return to us soon." He bowed his head and sprang down from the BranchPile. Immediately, cats began to move, padding towards those they wished to say goodbye to.

Spiderpaw's parents made a beeline for him, and his ears flattened again as he awaited his father's scolding. It was Ravenwing who spoke first, however, rasping her tongue over his ear and purring, "We're very proud of you, Spiderpaw. It's a scary thing, volunteering for something like this, but I know you'll make AshClan proud."

Spiderpaw nodded, nuzzling her muzzle, before he looked to his father. Eaglestrike remained silent a moment longer, before dipping his head, a surprising gesture of respect.

"I can't dissuade you from risking your neck for Leopardpaw, I expect…but stay safe, if you can. Don't do anything hasty. Don't let your temper get away from you." He hesitated, tail sweeping from side to side. "Ravenwing's right. We're very proud of you and Sootpaw both. No one could ask for better kits. Someday you'll both be incredible warriors."

Spiderpaw's throat grew tight, and he reached up to touch his father's nose. "I'll be as safe as I can be," he said, and they nodded, drawing away to allow Blackfeather to move forwards.

"Thanks for sticking up for me," he began, only to go rigid as she licked his muzzle.

"Of course. I don't want you to go, but I think you'd just sneak after them if you didn't get to go," she mewed, eyes twinkling, and he knew she was thinking of the Gatherings.

"I probably would have," he admitted. "Someone's got to keep an eye on Leopardpaw, and watch out for the marsh cats, just in case. Not to mention PeakClan will probably do something mousebrained."

"Just…just be _careful, _okay? Come back home in one piece." Her sun-like eyes glimmered with concern. "I don't want to lose you, furball."

"You don't have to worry about that," he assured her. "Rogues haven't been able to kill me before, and they won't be able to now. Besides, what would you do without me?"

She shivered. "I don't even want to think about that. Everything that I am now is thanks to you and Birchpool…you didn't give up on me, not ever. I'll be waiting for you to come back, even if it's not tonight…even if it's a moon from now, I'll be waiting, okay? I won't give up on you either."

Warmth fluttered through him, and he licked her muzzle back. "Thanks, Blackfeather. But you won't have to wait long, I promise. We're going to kick Maggot's butt and be back in no time, just you wait."

She nodded, and he looked away, trying to see if the others were ready. He saw Leopardpaw and Fireblaze saying their farewells, and his ears pricked as Fireblaze gave Leopardpaw a quick lick before stepping back into the shadows of the nursery. The golden apprentice seemed nonplussed, but a slight shy smile curled her muzzle as she turned away, half-limping towards the center of camp.

Spiderpaw murmured another goodbye to Blackfeather, before padding towards the apprentice, just as Petalcloud and Frostfeather came to meet them. They looked at one another, and he could see them each steel themselves before they turned together, padding towards the camp entrance. With one glance over his shoulder, Spiderpaw followed, leaping through the camp entrance and into the forest.

They didn't speak as they padded towards their border with the marsh. As they walked, PeakClan's scent grew stronger; Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out who the scents belonged to, but of course he did not know PeakClan very well at all, as reclusive as they had been since leaf-bare began. Still, the scents were familiar, and his pelt prickled uncomfortably as they walked.

The scents grew stronger, and the muddy smells of the marsh rose as well; Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed as he caught sight of several waiting shapes through the ferns. One was unmistakably Tubs – few toms were as large as he, although he did look as though he had lost some weight – and for that he was glad. The heavyset tom could be trusted, if worst came to worst.

However, his pelt bristled as he saw recognized Goldenshine. There seemed to be only one other PeakClan warrior – Hawktalon – present, but Spiderpaw didn't pay him any attention, his eyes boring into the tom's golden pelt. Goldenshine didn't notice his attention until the AshClan cats grew closer, but when he did, his lip curled with disdain.

"Is this really all AshClan can spare?" he sneered. "Two queens, a kit, and a traitor?"

"Quiet. No one's a traitor here, or a kit, and I'd like to see you go toe-to-toe with an angry queen," Fern snapped. Goldenshine's ears flattened, but he didn't say anything else, and Fern smiled at the AshClan cats.

"Nice to see you again, Spiderpaw" she meowed, before giving Petalcloud and Leopardpaw a nod. "You too. Who's the new gal?"

"My name is Frostfeather," the white warrior growled, unable to keep the hostility out of her voice, and Fern stiffened.

"Hey, now. We're all on the same side, alright? No need for animosity. If we're going to pull this off, we can't be at each other's throats – although, I suppose a bit of resentment will help the illusion. You know these two already, I'm assuming?" She jerked her head towards the PeakClan toms, and both Petalcloud and Frostfeather nodded. Leopardpaw didn't move, eyes flicking between the two toms for a brief instant, before dropping back down to her paws. The toms eyed her with unease, as though she was a badger or a fox.

Privately, Spiderpaw wondered if two toms were all PeakClan could send; Goldenshine seemed to sense his thoughts, for he bristled.

"PeakClan believes this to be a foolish venture. We're only helping because you shared the cure with us," he growled.

"For which PeakClan is immensely grateful," Hawktalon injected, tossing his companion a quelling glance.

Frost's eyebrow arched at that, but she didn't ask any questions, simply flicking her tail. "Alright. We should get moving as quickly as possible. Earlier we get there, fewer cats that will be up and about, capiche? No real need for introductions, I don't think. It wouldn't do to make it seem like you're too familiar with us – although you do know Tubs, I supposed."

The gray tom smiled at Spiderpaw. "Nice to see you're doing okay, little scrap."

Spiderpaw didn't return the smile, although he wanted to; it would look suspicious to the PeakClan warriors, and the last thing they needed was for the two toms to back out – not that he would mind too terribly if Goldenshine disappeared.

_He's plotting some sort of revenge against Shimmerfrost, I'm fairly certain, _he mused, tossing a glance towards the handsome tom again. _I don't think he'd drag us into it, but…._

Fern flicked her tail again. "Let's go."

The other rogues moved to encompass the Clan cats, and both Goldenshine and Hawktalon stiffened, eying them with unease.

"Sorry," Tubs grunted as he took up the rear, "but since the plan is to make you look like prisoners…."

The two PeakClan cats clearly thought they might end up prisoners before the day was over, and Fern flashed them both a smile.

"Don't be nervous," she purred, "I'm sure you can pull it off just fine. We only need to get close enough to Maggot to slash his ugly throat, and then we can all pop back home."

"The marsh is _not _your home," Goldenshine hissed. Fern's eyes narrowed at that, but she only shrugged and turned away.

"Let's go," she meowed, striding forward with the confidence of a cat who knew the territory well, making it obvious that no matter what Goldenshine thought, _she _clearly believed it to be her home.

. . .

Spiderpaw's gut fluttered with anxiety as they drew nearer to Twolegplace. He'd never been this close before, never quite thought he'd step foot in the gray prison, and even seeing the buildings jutting up towards the sky at unnatural heights made him nervous. Twolegs really were a force to be reckoned with; nothing in nature compared to the monuments they erected, the way they shaped the landscape. He had heard from Reedrush that they'd cut a swathe right through her home, just to create one of their smelly Thunderpaths, connecting their cities like giant anthills. And this wasn't even one of the larger Twolegplaces, or so the rumors went. He couldn't imagine any larger settlements himself; it seemed impossible for that many creatures to be in one place at once. Weren't they constantly at each other's throats? How did they feed all of their kits and elders? Just what did Twolegs eat, anyway, and where did they hunt it?

_So long as they don't eat cats, we should be okay, _he thought, forcing himself to breathe in and out a few times in an attempt to belay his nerves.

He heard a rumble of amusement from behind him, and turned around to find Tubs' eyes glinting at him with their usually jolliness.

"You're panting like a dog, little scrap," the gray tom purred. "I thought you were the tough one, the brave one? Not scared of a few columns of stone and steel now are we?"

"No," he snapped, the fur around his shoulders bristling. "I'm a little more concerned about the creatures lurking _in _them – and not just the cats, either."

"Twolegs won't bother you, so long as you don't bother them…unless they're having a bad day." Tubs' whiskers twitched at the young tom's expression. "Ah, don't look so petrified. I'm only kiddin'."

"I'd be a little more concerned with the cats we're about to face, anyway." Leopardpaw's voice was toneless. "Plenty of cats have tried and failed to kill Maggot; he's got the scars to prove it. He won't fall for something like this, not with his experience. And there's the fact that Baron's still missing….He's probably been turned by now, or he's dead."

"Don't say that," Tubs chided. "Baron's loyal. He's a bit thick, though, at times; he probably just got lost, something like that."

"We'll see," the golden tabby replied, her green eyes hardened.

Spiderpaw almost asked why she was coming along, if she thought they were going to fail, before he remembered she didn't have a choice; it was either join them, or be killed, and she had known Spiderpaw and Fireblaze would risk themselves to protect her.

_I guess she didn't think I'd volunteer for this, _he thought, ears flattening. _Going on adventures runs in the family, I suppose…._

He felt a pang as he thought of Sootpaw. There was no telling how far away the journeying cats were, or when they would be back, and their journey had been meaningless anyway: the Clan had the cure now, after all.

_And they have no idea…I bet Bluepaw's still with them, probably stalling for time. It might be another moon before they get back, and by then…well, if this mission does fail, there won't be a Clan to return to._

He flinched away from the thought; the loss of his Clan was impossible to consider.

_Then again, I'm sure all those BirchClan, MarshClan, and ShellClan cats felt the same way…._He glanced towards Frostfeather out of the corner of his eye.

A rustle behind him jolted him out of his thoughts, and he turned around to find that Tubs had already stopped. The gray tom stared into the undergrowth, eyes narrowed, and stiffened as a white form made itself known. Spiderpaw's breath caught despite himself as he met Northstar's steely golden eyes.

"My apologies," he growled, although his tone held nothing of the sort as he looked past Tubs – as though the hefty tom was invisible – and blinked into Petalcloud's eyes instead. "I was a bit too…busy to join these two when they left. But I will be part of your party."

Petalcloud blinked. "I'm not really in charge here," she mewed, glancing to Fern, who surveyed Northstar with a mixture of curiosity and respect.

"We've heard about you. Northstar, right?" she asked. "I am somewhat unofficially in charge of this little expedition, seeing as I know more about Twolegplace than most. You're welcome to join us."

His lip curled, and she blinked again, as if something had come clear to her. "It was your mate on that one patrol, wasn't it? She was the only survivor, if I recall correctly."

A low, rumbling growl grew in the back of his throat. "I would not speak of it if I was you, considering your rather precarious position in the marsh."

At that, she seemed amused. "I'd say our position is far firmer than PeakClan's, at the moment…and we had nothing to do with that attack anyway, as I have said before. That was all Maggot. If you can't understand that, then I can't trust you." Her chin rose. "If you're going to accompany us, you're going to have to pose as a prisoner. Are you capable of doing so? If not, we can't risk you coming along with us."

Her voice was firm, and Spiderpaw found himself a little amazed at her courage, under the circumstances; Northstar was easily a head taller than her, and he had the power underneath his thin pelt to back up any animosity he might be feeling. The two of them stared at each other for a moment, two deputies locked in a silent contest, before – much to Spiderpaw's surprise – Northstar nodded.

"I can manage," he rumbled, before giving the group a skeptical glance-over. "However, if you're going to pose as having just defeated these cats, you're going to need to work a bit harder. It doesn't look like any of you have been in a battle recently, with the exception of her." He nodded to Leopardpaw. "You need to rough each other up a bit, at the very least, if you want to be convincing."

This clearly hadn't occurred to Fern, and she frowned, then nodded. "You're right," she said grudgingly. Then, a mischevious twinkle lit up her green eyes, and she lunged at Northstar.

He was ready, rearing up onto his hind paws to intercept her with ease. He swatted her back down with one paw, but she lunged up with surprising speed, managing to get a few slashes in on his belly before one of his large, dark paws caught her again. Fern tumbled to the ground, stunned for a moment, and Spiderpaw tensed, thinking Northstar might go in for the kill. He only twisted his head to look at his stomach, giving an approving nod.

"That's a start," he said, and Fern rose again with a purr.

"You can hold your temper back, at least," she said, before looking to the others. "You all need to do something of the same thing. Give each other a few slashes, at the very least. Roll around in the dirt a bit. Make it a good show."

Spiderpaw considered attacking Tubs, but after considering the discrepancy in their sizes, decided against it. Leopardpaw moved to stand in front of him instead, giving him a challenging stare. His stomach flip-flopped as he remembered his promise to Fireblaze.

"I can't hurt you," he protested, but she moved forward like a snake, knocking him to the ground. As her claws raked over his muzzle, he couldn't help but feel a touch of relief; she had healed enough to fight, at least.

"Come on," she growled, biting his ear, "or I'll get Northstar to do it, and he won't be gentle."

Spiderpaw glared up at her, before kicking up at her stomach. Leopardpaw landed on her back, and rolled around a bit in the grass for good measure as he approached her. He gave a few half-hearted slashes at her stomach, before backing away, and she glared at him.

"If this is how you're going to act in the actual battle, we might as well have left you at home, Spiderkit," she hissed. He only rolled his eyes.

"You're not as good at getting underneath my fur as I remember," he said, and to his surprise, she chuckled.

"Lost my edge, I guess," she said, before sweeping his legs out from underneath him with a well-placed kick. He landed on his side, and she smirked at him until he sprang to his paws and tackled her, swatting her muzzle once or twice before backing off.

"Enough," came Northstar's growl from behind them, and Spiderpaw's pelt prickled with fear as he looked over his shoulder and found the white warrior glaring at the two of them. "You're only playing. This isn't the place for that. This is a very real battle you're getting into, and from what I understand _she _has no cause for merriment." He tossed another glance in Leopardpaw's direction, and her ears flattened as any trace of good humor faded from her face.

"Sorry, sir," Spiderpaw murmured, ducking his head, only to look up again as Northstar let out another growl.

"Staring at the ground never solved anything," he said, and lowered his voice. "Eaglestrike hasn't shared most of the story with us, but from what I can glean, you're a traitor, are you not? Or, at least, that's what they've pegged you as?"

"It's true," Leopardpaw said, without a tremor or quiver to her voice. "I betrayed them, and I have to make up for that."

Northstar nodded. "It's a long road, that…but doable, if you're willing to put in the effort. What you need to ask yourself is if it's worth it. If you want to make it out from this entire mess alive, if you want to find a place in your Clan again, you need to ask yourself why you're even bothering. Who makes it worthwhile for you? You don't have to tell me, just think of him, or her. Hold them in your mind throughout this entire ordeal, through every strike and every blow, and don't let go. Let them be your guiding force, because what you're fighting for today is to protect them."

His voice dropped even lower. "And, if you want to redeem yourself in the eyes of the Clan, you are going to have to act spectacularly. You'll have to do something no one else does. Something that would make a normal warrior a hero. It will only make you seem like not such a traitor after all, but it's a start, and the only option you have. Do you understand?"

She nodded, and he looked to Spiderpaw. "Help her, if you can. If I've learned anything, it's that few cats can be heroes on their own."

"I will," he promised, and Northstar dipped his head, taking a step back just as Fern called for them to stop.

"Alright, alright, everyone looks pretty good. Or bad, I guess." Her eyes twinkled again. "Thank you for pointing that out, Northstar. Now, there's no more time to waste. Let's be on our way. We have quite a walk; Maggot's taken up residence in Cane's old warehouse, on the other side of Twolegplace. We need to get there as quickly as possible, understand? Let's be on our way."

The group began filing after her again, as the scents of Twolegplace rose around them.

. . .

Twolegplace was both under and overwhelming, Spiderpaw found. The structures towered over them just as he had imaged, but they were dull, their windows glinting only faintly over their heads. The rush of the monsters was terrifying, but they were safe so long as they stayed on the sidepaths, and the stench created by both them and the Thunderpath was disgusting. Twolegs milled about all over the place, but they barely noticed the cats as they spread out, trying not to call attention to themselves. At first, Spiderpaw jumped at every sound, every squeal of monster feet or Twoleg shout, but as the minutes ticked by, he found himself relaxing.

The sun was dipping down lower than he would have liked by the time they reached the edge of Twolegplace. Cane's old base loomed before them, gray and imposing, like everything else in Twolegplace. At each window, they could see the glow of eyes.

"He's smarter than Cane, at least," Fern growled, glancing over her shoulder to make sure the rest of the group was together. "Clan cats crowd together in the middle a bit more. Leopardpaw, up here with me. Let's make this convincing, alright?"

The others nodded, and she moved forward, holding her head high and her tail in the air, as if she didn't have a care in the world.

The window-guards tensed as she neared, and one, a ginger tom, swaggered forward with a leer.

"We've been tol' to look at for you," he sneered, giving her a dismissive glancing-over. "Who are all these cats you dun dragged out here, Ferny?"

Her pelt bristled at that, but she flashed him a bright smile as she reined in her temper. "Don't you worry your pretty head who these guys are, Spitfire. Just let us in, why don't you?"

True to his name, Spitfire let out a low growl. "I don't think that's gon' happen. Word on the street is you've been a little too _friendly _with the Clanners lately."

She lifted her chin. "If you doubt me, then take a closer look at these cats, and see where they come from," she invited, stepping aside. Spitfire took a step forward, sniffing the air, and his eyes widened. Fern smirked. "Yes, they're Clan cats. We captured them this morning. They were trying to get the drop on us with a raid, but we were too clever. I assure you, any warm feelings we might have had towards these fleapelts disappeared this morning."

He still seemed dubious, and she rolled her eyes. "Just let us show Maggot, won't you? He'll be royally pissed if he finds out you let a bunch of perfectly fine prisoners go. Step aside."

Spitfire glanced back towards the window guards, most of whom shrugged helplessly. Finally, he spat. "Bah. Whatever. Go on in, then, but we'll have our eyes on you."

"Sure you will." Fern gave him a condescending smile, making him bristle again. She ignored him, flicking her tail to the others and stepped into the warehouse's yawning mouth.

The first thing Spiderpaw noticed was how dark it was; aside from the windows and a few holes in the metal roof, there was almost no light in the warehouse. The second thing was the boxes; they were everywhere, heaped upon one another into staggering mountains that threatened to reach the ceiling. He couldn't fathom what purposes such things might have held once; now they were just used as dens.

Eyes glinted at them in the gloom, but no one moved to stop their passage through the maze. Spiderpaw continued to look around, until Tubs nipped him sharply on the rump.

"Keep yer eyes down, prisoner," he snapped, in a tone that sent a chill down Spiderpaw's spine.

_A little too convincing, aren't you? _he thought, but obediently lowered his gaze, doing his best to look like a defeated prisoner of war.

Fern led them deeper and deeper into the warehouse, until they reached the very middle of it; Spiderpaw glanced up just long enough for his blood to run cold.

The scene was somewhat unassuming; the center of the warehouse was just as musty as the rest, and had the same boxes piled in the center, although these were draped with ratty cloths and other items, odd, glinting baubles. What was different was the single shaft of light from a jagged hole in the ceiling that struck the highest tower of boxes. Adopt this, sat a white tom with the iciest yellow eyes Spiderpaw had ever seen.

The tom lifted his chin, and Spiderpaw could see his throat was horribly scarred; it seemed he had survived numerous failed assassinations and the mad gleam in his eyes suggested he had nearly lost more than just his life.

On his right, atop another tower, sat Flicka. The flecked silver tabby was very stiff, tail curled tightly around her paws as she stared down at the newcomers.

The left tower was barren, and Spiderpaw guessed it had been Maggot's place, before he had decided to overtake Carmelo.

"Well, well," came Maggot's harsh, rasping voice, like the sound of claws over stone. "Fern. I didn't think you stupid enough to show your face around here again."

Fern's tail bushed out every so slightly, but she dipped her head. "I'm sure you've heard rumors that we've been working with the Clan cats, sir. I'm…I'm sorry to say that they're true. We did have a brief partnership. But we were betrayed. They attacked us together, tried to overwhelm us, and paid the price for their stupidity."

"Is that so." He sounded amused, and Spiderpaw tensed as Maggot began working his way down to a lower layer of the tower, to better survey the prisoners. "Ah, a couple of PeakClanners. How very heartening. I do so despise them. Tell me now, Fern, do you think these little prisoners would soil themselves if I were to select one of them to be executed right now? Would the AshClanners risk themselves for a PeakClan cat, I wonder?"

His eyes flicked over the group, settling on Goldenshine. "Oh, let's start with him. A pretty boy, isn't he? A charmed life, I would expect. Everything goes right for cats like that. Fitting he should be the first to die, don't you think?"

Fern shrugged. "Do whatever you want with them. I would think they would make better use as spies than playthings, but that is your call, sir. I only wanted to ask that you take them as a symbol of our regret for having strayed. We…we were very loyal to Carmelo, but it's clear where things stand now. And we can be of use to you." She nodded to Leopardpaw, and the golden she-cat took a step forward.

"I was Carmelo's spy," she said, her voice clear and firm despite the fear that must have been running through her veins. "I'm sure you know all about that already. I've supplied Twolegplace with plenty of valuable information. You nearly had me killed."

Maggot grinned. "Yes. I did. I'm surprised you're still alive, actually. I would have thought my rogues would have been more thorough. You live and learn, I suppose. I think I shall shortly rectify that mistake."

He twitched his tail, and Spiderpaw saw movement out of the corner of his eyes, as unseen guards crept forward.

"I don't know if my uncle is alive or dead, and frankly, I don't care." Her voice was cold, distant, very much like the Leopardpaw that Spiderpaw had first met, back when she had been a mysterious rogue, betraying not even a hint of anxiety, despite the growing threat around them. "We share blood, but that's all. He used me as a tool, and I doubt he cared whether I lived or died any more than you do. I want to offer myself to you as Fern is doing now. The Clan cats still don't suspect me. I've been very careful." She tossed a scornful look in Spiderpaw's direction. "They're fools, the lot of them, and should be easily crushed, with my help."

"Supposed to kill the deputy, weren't you? That's what I heard, at least. Very intriguing plan. Foolish, over-complicated, and doomed to fail…but intriguing." Maggot's eyes gleamed. "Perhaps you'll be of some use yet. Come closer, my dear."

Leopardpaw froze for a moment, and Spiderpaw knew Northstar's advice was running through her mind. _You are going to have to act spectacularly._ This was her chance.

Leopardpaw took one cautious step forward, then another, until she was directly underneath Maggot. She tilted her head back to meet his gaze with her own, and Spiderpaw saw the subtle tightening of her muscles, the preparation to spring.

"Pretty little thing, aren't you," Maggot mused. "Very pretty. I can see why Carmelo kept you around." He leaned down further, his nose barely inches away from her own, and a predatory grin twisted his pale face. "Oh, yes. Such a pretty little actress. As are the lot of you." His gaze rose, and his grin widened. "Pretty, foolish little actors."

With that, two of the cats in the shadows moved forward, tossing what at first appeared to be a bloody lump of fur into the shaft of light. Fern froze, before letting out a cry.

"Baron!" She raced to his side, and Maggot laughed.

"Oh, yes. Took us awhile, but we finally got him to sing like a bird. You've been more than just cozy with the Clanners recently, Fern. Thick as thieves, the lot of you. Far too close for anything like a little raid to stir up. Bold move, bringing your little ex-prisoner back," His eyes found Spiderpaw, "but a stupid one, I'm afraid. It really is a pity; you were very promising, Fern, everyone said so. But that was not to be, I fear."

He tilted his head to the shadow-cats, and gave his mad, Cheshire cat grin again. "Crush them. Crush them all. And when we're done with them, in the morning we'll march on."

The tide of cats surged forward just as Leopardpaw leaped, claws outstretched, but she found nothing but air. Maggot had already moved to the side, still grinning his manic grin. Leopardpaw's claws latched onto the side of the lowest box, and she moved to pull herself up, only for her eyes to widen as Maggot pushed one of the shining baubles – some sort of glass bottle – down onto her upraised face.

Spiderpaw lost sight of her then, as the guards overwhelmed them. A spitting tabby tom hovered in front of his face, and Spiderpaw sprang at him without hesitation, raking his claws down his enemy' muzzle. The two of them twisted against each other like snakes, and Spiderpaw snarled as the rogue grasped his ear in his jaws. He managed to pull out of his grasp, and sprang onto the tabby's back, digging in with his claws and doing as much damage as possible before the tabby finally had enough. Spiderpaw released him, and the tom took off, just in time for another to take his place.

Spiderpaw prepared to spring at his new foe, only to watch the second tom be knocked off of his paws by a white streak. Northstar didn't waste a second in ripping out the rogue's throat, before turning to Spiderpaw. "Find your friend," he ordered. "Get Maggot. We can handle this."

Spiderpaw nodded, and took off, ears flattening as he heard Northstar roar behind him.

He ran towards the boxes, eyes widening as he saw Leopardpaw lying on her side, looking dazed, with a smirking Maggot advancing upon her. He charged towards the two of them, snarling, only to be broadsided by a smirking tortoiseshell. He struggled in her grasp, slashing at whatever he could reach, but couldn't escape her claws.

"Not nearly enough of you for this," she cackled down at him, ripping into his stomach with her talons. "You came woefully unprepared."

He managed to twist onto his stomach, shielding his tender belly. Out of the corner of one eye, he could see Frostfeather struggling to hold her own against two toms that were twice her size. Beyond her, Petalcloud had been cornered by a leering she-cat and two others. His heart sank as he realized the tortoiseshell was right. Leopardpaw had hesitated just a moment too long, had missed her chance for the perfect strike, and they were all going to suffer the consequences.

_If you were ever going to send someone bursting into save us, now would be the time, _he thought to StarClan, only to snarl with pain as the tortoiseshell dug into his scruff with her jaws. She gave several powerful shakes, whipping his head around so fiercely he thought his neck would snap, before dropping him. His muzzle smacked the ground, and he tried to sit up, but his head swam with dizziness.

_Leopardpaw, _he thought, and writhed feebly in her grasp once more, but it was no use. She tore into his back, and he yowled with pain, but this time there was no one to save him, no one to dive in and protect him. Black ate away at the edges of his vision, and he only had time to lift his head in an attempt to find Leopardpaw's golden pelt, before the darkness claimed him entirely.

. . .

Everything was still pitch black when he opened his eyes.

He felt a sharp stab of panic, rising to his paws immediately, but the effort only sent pain lancing through him and made his head swim. He sank to the ground again, pressing his paws to his face in an attempt to make sure he still had his eyes.

"You're awake." An unfamiliar voice came from somewhere behind him, and he turned, trying to pinpoint it. He heard a light, pained chuckle. A strange, almost musky odor reached his nose, and he frowned. There was something familiar about this soft, honeyed voice. He'd never heard it himself, he was certain, but he'd heard _of _it somewhere, somewhere….

_Carmelo, _he thought, and icewater settled into his heart.

"Stay away from me," he spat into the darkness, trying to move backwards but finding a harsh stone at his back. He froze, trying to piece together what had happened.

"They didn't want to toss any more prisoners down in here, but the other cellar was full," the honeyed voice said again. "They didn't have a choice, that's what I think they said. Something about how it was better putting toms than she-cats in here with me…have you ever heard anything more ridiculous?" Carmelo laughed, although there was a tough of wheeziness in his voice. "You have a companion down here somewhere, but he hasn't woken up yet. Big fellow, from what I could see when they opened our little prison up to toss you two in."

"Where are we?" Spiderpaw growled, voice edged with caution.

"I already said it, didn't I? A cellar. One very close to the warehouse, as a matter of fact. It's a very good place for prisoners, you see. Pitch-black, too far away from anything to scream for help, and absolutely filthy. Terrible place for infection. I'm probably already a goner, with the gashes they dealt me earlier." He chuckled again. "Really should have seen this coming, eh? But I couldn't be choosy about my allies, with my power as precarious as it was. My eyes were bigger than my stomach, I suppose. Ah well. It's a little late for regrets."

"There has to be a way out," Spiderpaw said, ignoring the ex-boss's puzzling remarks; he seemed to be touched with some sort of fever, probably from the gashes he had mentioned.

"Oh, there is. But it's blocked. That's kind of the point of it being a prison, you see. There's a door up those steps…the steps you can't see." He snorted softly. "Unfortunately it opens to the outside, and they've blocked it with something. The same would go for the cellar your other friends have been trapped in, I would assume. We're trapped here until we either die or Maggot gets tired of using us. Tell me, what happened to Baron? He was in here when I arrived. Seemed in terrible shape. They really did a number on him. I can only imagine they placed me in here so I could get a good look at my future. Ah…." He let out a quiet, pained groan. "He's mad, Maggot, but it's a malicious sort of madness. He's keeping me around as a bargaining chip, I think. I know far more about this city than he does, after all, since I was born here. He's an outsider, although his family's local. Or, that's what I've—"

A low groan cut Carmelo's rambling off, and Spiderpaw's ears pricked, trying to figure out who it was. There was the sound of shifting weight, and another groan as the other prisoner sat up gingerly, and sniffed the air.

"One of you is an AshClan cat," came Northstar's voice in the darkness, and Spiderpaw's heart rose for a brief moment. If there was anyone that could help them escape, it was the PeakClan deputy. "And the other…."

"Carmelo. Pleasure to meet you," the golden tom purred. "From that I assume you're not from AshClan…and you certainly don't smell like a rogue. From the sigh of relief that young chap just breathed, I'm guessing you're someone fairly powerful, too. PeakClan would never send their leader out on something like this, though. Don't tell me I finally have the pleasure of meeting the infamous Northstar?"

Northstar didn't answer for a long moment, and Carmelo laughed.

"Delightful, delightful," he murmured. "Fascinating, isn't it, how these things come together?"

"What's going on?" Northstar growled. "Where are we?"

"Do I have to explain everything over again?" Carmelo asked.

"A cellar," Spiderpaw cut in. "Near the warehouse. There are stairs but they've blocked the door, so we can't get out. Everyone else is in another cellar, apparently, but that one was too crowded, so we're stuck in here."

Northstar grunted quietly. "Interesting. Have you felt out the perimeter for weaknesses yet?"

Spiderpaw blinked, not having considered the idea, and Carmelo said, "Way ahead of you, my friend. There are none that I have found. The floor is stone or concrete, and the walls are most definitely stone. Nothing we could dig through, and certainly no big cracks or holes. Believe me, we're trapped."

"We aren't your friends," the deputy growled, already irritated by the city boss.

"I think he's hurt," Spiderpaw piped up. "He's been in here for a few days at least, and it sounds like they roughed him up a bit. He's probably sick."

"Probably," Carmelo agreed. "Funny, don't you think? I tried using sickness to get ahead, and it ended up biting me in the tail. Fate does love her little jokes." He let out another one of his chuckles, and Spiderpaw could practically smell Northstar's annoyance.

"Sick or not, this is hardly a time for laughter. We're in some serious trouble. Carmelo's useful, with his knowledge of Twolegplace, but you and I…well. Our only use is in bargains, and we don't have to be in good condition for that."

Carmelo let out something almost akin to a giggle. "You're worth even less, Northstar, my friend. Maggot hates the PeakClanners with a passion. Has quite the grudge against them. The only reason he's keeping you and any of your friends is for torture, I would expect. He's far more interesting in smiting than bargaining. Mad, mad, mad. No style at all, no finesse…but he caught me by surprise, so there's that."

Northstar let out a rumbling growl, but curiosity pricked Spiderpaw's pelt. _Maggot's rogues did seem to specifically target PeakClan in a few of their attacks…_ he mused.

"What does he have against PeakClan?" he asked, and Carmelo purred, pleased by the question.

"Like I was saying, his family is locally grown. They lived on PeakClan's territory far before the Clan did…but once the Clan appeared, they didn't have any choice but to leave! Maggot wasn't born by then, of course. I'm sure his own father was just a kit. But he's still angry over the whole thing. Doubly so because his grandfather stayed behind, and was killed a few years ago, according to rumors. Oh yes, he's quite angry about all that. He's the sort that looks for any excuse to be angry, though."

"As fascinating as all of this is, it's not particularly, helpful," Northstar rumbled. Spiderpaw heard him sit up again, with a quiet grumble of pain, and begin shuffling over the floor. After several moments, he bumped into something that didn't quite sound like stone; the stairs, Spiderpaw assumed, whatever that meant.

He heard Northstar feel his way up the stairs, until he bumped into something else – the door? Northstar tapped the door a few times, then threw himself against it with all of his might, sending a crash running through the entire cellar. It seemed to be to no avail, as the inky darkness did not abate.

"Strong, aren't you? Strength won't be enough to get it open, though, I'm afraid. We're stuck, my friend." Carmelo coughed quietly, the wheeze entering his voice again.

There was another crash, as Northstar ignored the addled city boss, and Spiderpaw's ears flattened.

"Cease your efforts, now." Carmelo's voice was a touch firmer this time. "You don't want to make noise and have them come in here. I assure you, there will be far too many for you to take on at one time, and they'll only push you down those stairs. Taking a tumble in your condition would be rather dangerous."

Northstar rammed the door a third time, but this effort was half-hearted, and after a moment's pause, he felt his way back down.

"What should we do?" Spiderpaw asked quietly.

Northstar was quiet for several moments. "I don't know. The best course of action seems to be to wait. They have to come down here eventually, and we'll be ready when they do."

"That's always your course of action, isn't it? Readiness? I do remember when Lion's forces clashed with yours. You all were more than prepared to handle him – no small task, I assure you. It was really quite impressive, the way you and Silverstar and that other tom – Stonestar? – teamed up to take him down. I had the privilege of watching, although I had already technically fled by then. That other tom, Eaglestrike, led a good campaign, yes indeed. If only I had cats like _that _running my streets, instead of….mmm. But you don't belong here, do you? You're an outsider, that's what they say. All you Clan cats are outsiders, really, but you more so than others."

"I hate to break it to you," Northstar growled, "but you're rather indisposed at the moment, and I'd hazard to guess that you're in worse condition than either Spiderpaw or myself. If you continue to speak in such a manner, you're liable to find yourself with claws at your throat."

"Oh, I'm not criticizing. Perish the thought of that. I'm hardly in any position to do so, as you said. I'm an outsider now too." He snickered. "I just think it's interesting, is all, that you've settled here. It's very different from your mountains, is it not? Don't you miss them? Leopardpaw told me you and a few others went up there again to try and find some sort of special plant. Did you enjoy the trip? Were they just as you remembered?"

"Better," was Northstar's grudging response. "My father no longer shadows them. He's gone, soon to be forgotten, eclipsed by threats in history far greater than he could have ever been. Eclipsed by _me. _I know those mountains better than any cat alive now. I know every nook and cranny, every hiding place…." His voice almost turned wistful, and Spiderpaw shivered, trying to imagine the harsh, craggy cliffs that Northstar had called home.

"I heard your Clan left your old camp," Carmelo murmured. "Interesting, that PeakClan will no longer have a Peak to lay claim to."

Northstar made a quiet, affirmative grunt, and Spiderpaw could almost hear the gears in his mind turning. Spiderpaw had an idea of what Carmelo was talking about, but at the same time, it seemed like the feverish ramblings of a sick tom.

Still, perhaps it was a better distraction for the deputy than their current position. He was right; all they could do was wait and hope that Maggot was not as inclined to torture them as Carmelo believed. They had no hope of breaking out on their own, and no one was coming to rescue them. The Clans couldn't risk such a pursuit, and it sounded as though Maggot was planning on going after them anyway. He had none of Carmelo's patience or finesse, and this was the weakest the Clans would ever be, in any case.

_We failed, _Spiderpaw thought, feeling his heart sink. _It's over now. He's going to get away with everything, crush the Clans and everyone else underneath his paws, and there's not a thing we can do about it._

_It's over, and we've lost. _

**AN: Spitfire was a guard for Cane, back when his warehouse was raided in Shattered. Poor guy has the worst luck!**

**And poor Carmelo is far less put-together than when we last saw him. Dude's been through the wringer.**

**Anyone remember Forest's unnamed rogue friend who was killed by PeakClan apprentices before Silver reached the forest? Anyone?**


	71. C h a p t e r 70

**C**_**hapter **_**70**

"Reedrush sure looks chipper," Rook whispered. "Methinks things are startin' to look familiar to her."

Sootpaw's heart rose – they had certainly made good time coming back, without any rogue attacks or traitors slowing them down – but it was impossible for her to say how close they were getting, especially since the sun was beginning to sink, lengthening the shadows the trees cast at their paws.

"Just think if we come home tomorrow," Brackenpaw said with a wistful sigh. "I miss everyone so much. I bet Shrewpaw's gotten so big, and Birdpaw is probably all pretty now…I just hope Mom doesn't think a badger gobbled me up, or something."

Swanpaw was quiet, lost in thought, and Sootpaw wondered if she was thinking about her own family as well. It was entirely possible that her mother would be gone, or her brother and father might have gotten sick as well. There might be nothing left for the ginger-and-white she-cat, when she returned home.

_The same could be true for all of us, _she thought with a shiver, and looked towards Sage, who was whispering something to the sharp-tongued apprentice.

In front of them, Reedrush held up her tail, and the group came to a stop. She looked over her shoulder with a smile.

"We should see the lake tomorrow, and start our foray into Twolegplace," she meowed, and cheers rose up from the apprentices – Sage nuzzled Swanpaw's ear, Nightingale beamed silently, and Sootpaw thought even Rook looked a bit pleased. "We'll have to be careful, of course – there's no telling what the political situation will be like – but if all goes well, we should be home by tomorrow or the day after."

Sootpaw looked to Sage again – after all, it would still be some time before he reached his own home – and padded to him as the group broke up to hunt.

"Hey," he purred. "Want to hunt with us?" He flicked his tail to Swanpaw.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you alone, for a little bit?" she asked. Sage blinked, then tilted his head towards the PeakClan apprentice, who shrugged.

"I'll hunt with Brackenpaw," she said, padding away. Sage's eyes traced her path, and Sootpaw snickered to herself; apparently he was just as smitten as she.

"So," he said, tearing his gaze away from the pretty she-cat, "what's up? You've seemed in better spirits today."

She looked over her shoulder, smiling as she saw Rook and Nightingale padding off together. "Yeah. You could say that."

She was surprised when Sage nudged her with his shoulder, a grin on his face. "_Oh. _Is that how it is, dear sister of mine? I must admit, I never would have thought of Rook as being a source of _cheer,_ but I suppose anything's possible—"

She nipped his ear. "You're one to talk, mooning after Swanpaw like you are. Maybe I'm just happy to be getting home, did you ever think about that?"

Sage sighed. "She's something, isn't she? Very prickly, I will admit, but underneath the insults and threats there's a very lovely she-cat down there. I'll miss her."

Sootpaw's ears lowered as she remembered that Swanpaw wouldn't be able to follow Sage into the mountains, not with her family needing her. "I'm sorry. I didn't think of that."

He shrugged. "We're both needed, just in different places. Such is the way of the world. Something will work out, I'm sure. Now, what did you want to talk about?"

"Well…." She cast a furtive glance over her shoulder, making sure they were out of earshot. "I was…I was thinking I might go to the mountains, and live there…at least for a little while. If that's okay, I mean."

He only blinked at her for a moment, before his face split into a wide grin, much to her delight. "Oh, _yes. _Yes, I would like that very much. There's _so_ much I could show you, so many things we could do. All sorts of secrets to be uncovered, and I just _know _Swift will love you, and—"

"Hold on, hold on," she laughed. "It won't be right away. The Clan will need me when I get back, at least for a little while…we have to get back on our feet. There will be plenty to do and plenty to rebuild, I'm sure, but once all that's said and done…I'd very much like to go."

He beamed at her, but the smile faded as something occurred to him. "It…it is not just because you feel like you have to, is it? I mean we would love to have you, but if it is just because you'll feel guilty for not knowing us, or…."

She shook her head, dismissing his worries immediately. "No, of course not. The mountains were beautiful, from what little I saw of them, and…." Her ears lowered. "Everything in the forest will be different, and I'm not sure I can face it all for the rest of my life. I grew up with a lot of unwitting lies, and a lot of secrets, and when they all come into the open air…things are going to be very different. And…this journey's changed me, too. It's sort of…let me see who I am, without the Clan. But I want to do more than that. I want to see _everything _that I could be, if that makes sense. I love my family, of course, but everyone has to grow up and leave the nest sometimes. And I want to get to know all of you." She touched his nose with her own. "I want to see the ocean and hear all your stories and maybe speak to the Starwalkers, if that's even possible. I want to climb the mountains and go tromping through the marsh and scale the birches and roll in the sand. I want to do _everything._"

He grinned at that. "We will," he promised, before flicking his tail, as the two of them headed deeper into the forest.

When they came back, prey in their jaws, Sootpaw found that Rook had already swept a space for her and Sage to sit. She blinked at him thankfully, shivering as her belly brushed the remaining snow. As she dug into her vole, she wondered what the forest looked like, if it was touched by the same snow. It was unlikely – the storm probably hadn't even reached Twolegplace – but she allowed herself to dream of it anyway, picturing the slender branches of the ash trees draped with white fluff, the brambles and thickets all covered in the stuff, the stepping stones touched over with a layer of frost.

_Spiderpaw would hate it, _she thought, giggling to herself, _but he hates most everything. _

She looked up to find Rook blinking at her, attention having been caught by her chuckles, and she gave him a bright smile. He returned it, and she leaned against him, enjoying the warmth offered by his thick pelt.

_I'll have to ask him, _she thought. _We've mentioned going to the mountains in passing, but…I have to make sure he actually wants to go._

She didn't want to ask him in the middle of the group, though, and there would be time for that later. After she polished off the rest of her vole, she curled up with a yawn, feeling his thick tail drape over her pelt and her brother press against her other side, leaving her safe and warm.

. . .

She awoke when something immense and cold plopped onto her face, sliding down from between her ears over her eyes. Immediately her head rose and she sputtered, shaking her muzzle and watching the snow tumble off of her head.

Nightingale was nowhere to be seen, but she recognized the bushy tail disappearing behind the nearest tree as Rook's. She rose to her paws with a playful growl, before pausing as she realized that it had snowed again overnight. A thick blanket covered the ground – save in one place, where Rook had scooped it up to dump on her while she slept – glittering pristinely. She was captured by the sight for a moment, before she heard Rook's rumbling laughter, and bolted after him.

To her surprise, he didn't stand and fight, preferring to flee instead, his heavy paws smacking against the thick snow. It was already beginning to stick to his fur, gathering in icy clumps, but they didn't seem to slow him down, and he tossed her a mocking glance over his shoulder.

She growled again, and flattened her ears against her head as she tried to pick up speed, paws flying over the frozen ground. Rook's tail was almost in snapping distance when the tom abruptly sprang into the air, back bumping against a low-hanging branch with enough force to cause the snow on top to fall to the ground. Sootpaw was just far enough behind that it didn't land on her, but it caught her by surprise, and she tried to jump over it too late. One paw caught the snow-pile, sending her tumbling in a heap. She let out an indignant squeal as a chill ran through her entire pelt, and staggered to her paws. Rook's rumbling laughter rang out behind him as he disappeared from sight.

She shook her pelt, trying to rid herself of the clinging blanket, before charging after him again, with more caution this time as she followed his tracks.

The pawprints changed in front of her after a minute, and she slowed, trying to figure out what was different. It took her a moment to realize that before Rook had actually been running on someone else's path, someone with smaller paws than his own. His tracks ended abruptly before her, but whoever he had been following had kept going.

She took another step forward, puzzled, trying to figure out who he had been following and why, only to hear a creak above her head. She realized the implication a moment too late, and wasn't quick enough to get away as an enormous pile of snow fell down on her.

For a moment, all she could see was white, until she struggled out of the mound. Above her, Rook cackled, delighted that his insidious plan had worked. To Sootpaw's right, Nightingale appeared, sides shaking with silent laughter, and the apprentice realized that the two rogues had pulled the same move that she and Moonpaw had tried on Chillpaw, albeit without Moonpaw's ghostly powers.

"Ahah, yer _face_," Rook laughed, his merriment making the entire branch shake. "You woulda thought an avalance came crashing down on you."

"Very funny," she grumbled, wiggling out of the pile. "My two good friends, uniting against me. Hilarious." Her firm expression slipped as Rook nearly fell off of the branch, managing to catch himself before he tipped over, and she allowed herself a quiet purr.

"Nightingale had each other's backs far before we had yers. Just remember that," he snorted, finally beginning to climb down. She gave her coat another shake, and rolled her eyes.

"Still, I thought what we had was special." She pretended to pout, but was only met by more laughter that seemed to bubble up from his very belly. "You got me, though, I will have to admit it. I couldn't even tell you were following Nightingale's trail at first, your paws are so big."

"You know what they say about big paws," he said springing to the ground. Sootpaw blinked, puzzled, but Nightingale gave him a disapproving shake of her head, and he didn't finish whatever he had been about to say, sweeping his snow-laden tail over Sootpaw's head instead. "Yer alright, though, aincha? We didn't rattle yer brain too hard? Looked like you were about to be crushed by a mountain, you did."

"I'm fine," she meowed, ducking as his tail made another pass at her, but his choice of words made her frown. "I have something to ask you two, though."

Rook and Nightingale exchanged glances, and the dark tom shrugged. "Ask away, then."

"Well…before, you promised you would be there with me, the whole…the whole step of the way." She flushed underneath her fur, remembering the determination his eyes had taken on.

"Every step of the way," he said, voice soft, and she nodded.

"Yes. And I appreciate that, I do, but…I don't want to drag you anywhere you don't want to go." She glanced between the two of them. "When this is all over, I'm going to be with the Clan for awhile – a moon, maybe, or longer. And then…and then I want to go to the mountains. To…to figure things out. I would love it if you two came with me, but I know you don't want to be cooped up in the Clan, and I really can't promise what will happen if we do manage to make it to the mountains. There's no telling what it will be like up there, when the dust settles. As Sage has said, they're still figuring everything out, and there will probably be a lot of changes. It might even be a bit dangerous…but I'm determined to make it. I'm not giving up." She gave Rook a small smile. "I know you two really have no obligation to follow, and I don't want to make you, but I was hoping…."

Rook glanced at Nightingale, who nodded. He flicked his gaze back to Sootpaw. "If you really think you can get rid of us by runnin' off to the peaks, you've got another think coming," he meowed, and Sootpaw let out the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. "A promise is a promise, and while I don't welcome stayin' in the Clan for a moon, we'll do it if we gotta."

"We're your friends," Nightingale rasped, beaming. "We'll stand by you. And I do want to see more of the mountains myself. Sage said there's a lot he can teach me."

Rook's nose twitched with irritation at that, but to his credit, he held it back. "'Zactly. It'll be good for all of us. Another adventure, if you will. Although, I 'spect it _will _be dreadfully wet…." He heaved a sigh, looking back to examine his soggy tail. "Beaches an' marshes an' peaks covered in snow, and alla that."

"Speaking of," Sootpaw mewed, and with a devious grin, flung a pawful into the dark tom's face. He sputtered as he stepped back, and she laughed, only to squeal as Nightingale retaliated with a heap of her own.

"Real nice, that!" Rook exclaimed, shaking his thick fur. "We go an' pledge our allegiance, an' you go and throw that stuff in our faces—" He broke off as Nightingale tackled him into a snow bank with a rusty laugh, shooting Sootpaw a mischievous smile as she sprang away. The two she-cats cackled at the tom's misfortune as he struggled to his paws, and fled together, weaving through the alabaster undergrowth as he thundered after them, a badger crashing through the forest.

By the time they reached camp, they were both breathless; Sootpaw slowed, thinking that they were safe, only to have Rook plow into her with his full strength, sending them both tumbling through the frosty covering, narrowly avoiding squashing a sleepy Swanpaw. She glared at them and growled something, but Sootpaw could barely hear the PeakClan apprentice over Rook's rumbling laughter as he ended up on top of her, pinning her down and nipping at her ear. Sootpaw kicked him off and was about to spring, when Reedrush cleared her throat.

The three troublemakers looked at her, abashed, but were relieved to see the faint twinkle in the silver tabby's eyes.

"Save it for when we're home, alright?" she asked, and Sootpaw's heart leaped as she remembered just how close they were. "Get the herbs, and let's head out."

They scrambled to do as they were told, and the rest of the group was up and ready within minutes. Eyes still twinkling, Reedrush flicked her tail, and they were on their way again.

Sootpaw shook her coat as they walked, trying to dislodge some of the snow that seemed adamant about wrapping around her, and caught sight of Sage's amused expression. Heat crept under her fur again – she knew what he was thinking – but she only stuck her tongue out at him, and shot a meaningful look in Swanpaw's direction. Sage shrugged in reply, before falling into step with the PeakClan she-cat.

Sootpaw rolled her eyes at his back, but was sobered as she again remembered that Swanpaw and Sage would be forced to part ways, eventually. She couldn't leave her family, and he had his responsibilities back home as well.

_At least that's one thing I don't have to worry about, _she mused, as she looked back towards Nightingale and Rook, and felt comforting warmth stir in her belly.

. . .

Hours later, they had their first sighting of the glimmering lake. Sootpaw's heart began pounding rapidly as she recognized its mirror-like surface, the reeds encircling it, the scent of pines wafting to them on the breeze. Immediately she was attacked by images of home, memories of the tall trees and soft moss and rushing streams, and it was all she could do not to break into a run and attempt to charge all the way home. However, as they grew nearer and the grayness of the lake became more apparent – thanks to the still snow-heavy clouds hanging over their heads – she found entirely different memories rising to the surface. The lake had been included in the dream she had made for Chillpaw, after all, and the last pool of comparable size that she had seen had been in the Dark Forest. She felt a very different urge to bolt surging through her again, the same that had risen in her when Bullet had spoken of Brightflash. She swallowed, staring down at her paws and trying to rid herself to the sensation, trying to fight it back, when she felt a thick, still slightly soggy tail brush her flank.

"We must be gettin' close," he said. "Guess I should know what I'm getting into, eh? You didn't tell me much about your home. What should I be expecting?"

She knew he was only asking her to distract her, but she was grateful of it. She started to tell every story she could think of, from when she and Spiderpaw had nearly drowned as kits, to her few training sessions, to stories she had heard from the older cats about the battle for the territory. Rook took it all in, asked questions that led into other stories, and before she quite knew what had happened, they were in Twolegplace.

It was as unpleasant as she remembered – perhaps even more so, now that the sky matched the buildings – and although they had become desensitized to the noises of the monsters, she found that their new nearness was more than a little off-putting.

"I don't relish the idea of sleeping out here," Brackenpaw said nearby, and Sootpaw was inclined to agree. It seemed impossible for them to get through the sprawling labyrinth in one day, not without a proper guide, but going around Twolegplace would take even longer.

Rook glanced around them with a frown. "Wish I 'memebered more o' this place," he said, then snorted quietly. "Well, I don't, 'cause it means we woulda had to live here longer, and it's a rubbish place to live, but…y'know."

She was inclined to agree with him too; the city seemed like a hopelessly bleak place to live, with its harsh scents and rough streets, not to mention how overcrowded the whole place supposedly was, although they hadn't seen any sign of other cats so far.

"I know enough to get by," Reedrush meowed, "and if all else fails, we can swing by where we met Natasha last time. I'm sure someone will show us the way; things seem a bit calmer with Carmelo in charge."

Sootpaw wondered if they might run into Tubs again; she wasn't sure if that would be a good or bad thing, considering how he had gotten Reedrush fired up before. Seeing Natasha would be nice, though; she was curious as to how big the rogue's kits had gotten, and she would be one of the best cats to ask for news.

She might be one of the _only _cats to ask for news, Sootpaw realized as they went along. She hadn't expected to see any cats just aimlessly wandering the streets, but there still should have been some sign of them; glints of eyes in alleys, the scents of those that had gone before them, _something. _But there was nothing, and the sheer emptiness of the city – apart from the Twolegs and their monsters – sent chills running down her spine. It certainly couldn't be a good sign; after all, if the cats weren't in the city, they had to be somewhere else, and the most likely place was their forest.

_What if they've been attacked? _she wondered, an icy sliver of fear cutting into her heart. _Is the Clan strong enough to fend them off? But why would Carmelo try to hurt them? He promised Bluepaw that no one would get hurt…it would make sense for him to lie, but thus far he's been very careful not to directly clash with us, or at least he was before we left. _

She sighed to herself as her stomach tied itself in knots. They wouldn't know for sure until they actually reached home, and by then it might be too late.

Then, a flicker of movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention. She paused for a moment, turning to peer down the nearest alley, and her heart stopped for a fraction of a second as she saw a flash of blue-gray fur. It had been fleeting, as the cat had ducked around the corner, but she had known it all the same.

_It couldn't be…she couldn't be _here, Sootpaw thought, but she felt herself moving forwards anyway, weaving around Rook as she gave chase. She heard his startled shout from behind her, but didn't slow her pace, charging after the blue-gray cat. She paused as she rounded the corner, eyes widening as she saw the blue-gray figure a dozen fox-lengths in front of her, flat-out running. The form was unmistakable.

"Bluepaw!" she shouted, but the blue-gray cat didn't pause, only turned the corner of the street and disappeared from sight again. Sootpaw didn't waste a moment waiting for the rest of the group to catch up, if they were even coming after her. She chased after the ex-medicine cat, swerving around the side of the street and pushing herself as hard as she could.

Bluepaw's path seemed erratic at first, as she dove down street after street, branch after branch without stopping. A few times, Sootpaw thought she caught the flash of the she-cat's blue eyes as she checked behind her, but the ex-medicine cat was too far ahead of her to be sure. Behind her, she heard the thundering paws of the rest of the group, but she didn't look back to see if they were all there or not, focused only on catching the medicine cat.

Despite her paws flying over the pavement, she didn't seem to be getting any closer. Her breath was coming in ragged gasps by the time she realized they had back-tracked quite a bit; they were near the edge of Twolegplace again, close to the lake. Ahead of them rose a foreboding warehouse, but Bluepaw paid it no mind, running on towards what appeared to be another abandoned Twoleg building. Without pausing, she disappeared into the front door, which was propped open.

Sootpaw finally stopped, panting, eying the Twoleg building. She assumed it as a nest of some kind. She was wary of entering it; there was no telling what awaited them. Moons ago, she would never be so suspicious, but Bluepaw had proven herself capable of anything.

She looked over her shoulder to see Reedrush and the others right behind her. The silver tabby seemed winded, but her eyes were bright with anger as she frowned at Sootpaw.

"What are you doing?" she snapped. "Why did you think it wise to just bolt off without—"

"It was Bluepaw," Sootpaw answered before the warrior could even finish her sentence. "I saw her, I know it. She ran in there."

Reedrush blinked, and surveyed the building with confusion; it didn't look like anything special, compared to the rest of Twolegplace. She turned and stared at the warehouse, shivering.

"That was Cane's old base," she meowed, giving it a nod. "I assume Carmelo owns it now, although I don't know if he would make it a place of importance, considering how he repurposed Amber's…either way, we shouldn't be here. This is dangerous territory. We should go; Bluepaw might have been running to get enforcements."

Sootpaw nodded, feeling a prickling of shame as she saw how foolish it had been to give chase. The likeliest explanation was that Bluepaw had come back to the city hoping for forgiveness from Carmelo – she could still be useful, after all, with her knowledge as a healer – and had simply stumbled into them. Fearing for her life, she had run back to where she knew she would be safe, not thinking the warriors would follow.

And yet, something nagged at Sootpaw. She thought back to when she and the traitor had parted ways, how distraught Bluepaw had been, how she had promised to make up for everything. She flinched as she remembered the pain that had torn through the she-cat's voice as she had given them her last gift, the identity of the third ingredient. Would she have flipped back to Carmelo's side so quickly, after all that?

Bluepaw had always been quick, she knew. And yet, she had managed to keep up with her, or at least keep her in sight. Sootpaw herself had never been fast; she'd only managed to stay ahead of the rest of the group because of her head start. Bluepaw should have gotten away with ease, but she had not. In fact, she had led them right here, to these strange buildings that had once belonged to the boss Carmelo had helped overthrow….

She opened her mouth, catching the scents of cats – Carmelo's rogues, she assumed – but also the sharp tang of blood. Reedrush seemed to have scented it as well, for she shook her head.

"Let's go," she said again, but Sootpaw remained rooted to the ground.

"Wait," she meowed, trying to think. "Wait. I don't think Bluepaw was trying to get away. I think she was trying to…show us something."

"What could that fleapelt want to show us, other than an ambush?" Swanpaw snapped, and Sootpaw's ears flattened at her tone.

"I don't know, but…when I left her out there in the forest, she seemed torn. She still believed herself to be loyal to the Clan, at heart. I just can't see her turning on us again, not after she told us the last plant was chamomile. There was no reason for her to do that for us, if she was loyal to Carmelo. I think…I think we should investigate."

She looked back at them, aware of how feeble her argument seemed, but to her surprise found that Sage was nodding.

"I believe Bluepaw was a good cat, at heart. She was misguided and lead astray, but she knows what Carmelo is truly like now. And she knows that Sootpaw was her dear friend. She would not lead her astray again."

Sootpaw gave him a grateful blink, but Reedrush was unmoved.

"We can't take the chance," she insisted. "Bluepaw's dangerous either way, and—"

At that moment, the ajar door squeaked, as a tom much bigger than Bluepaw shouldered his way out, eyes widening as he saw the gathered cats.

"She was running from more o' those Clan cats!" he barked over his shoulder. "Little git led them right here. Must be after the prizners. They look like runts, though, we can take 'em easy. C'mon, c'mon!" He ran towards them, streaking over the street, and behind him came more cats, three or four of them, all burly and leering.

_Prisoners?_ Sootpaw wondered, but there was no time to puzzle it over, as the rogues charged them. She tensed, preparing to spring as one headed for her. She lunged at him with outstretched paws, and he rose up to meet her, the two of them grappling with each other as she knocked him to the ground. His claws swiped down her flank, but she gave as good as she got, slashing at his belly and throat, as much as she could reach. He kicked her away, and her shoulder scuffed against the pavement as she scrambled back to her paws.

He advanced upon her again, but she didn't allow herself to give into the fear fluttering in her chest, giving him a defiant snarl. He leaped into the air, and she ducked out of the way, twisting around to rake her claws down his muzzle.

She glanced away only for a moment to make sure the others were doing alright – they were holding their own, fighting in pairs against the toms that faced them – and he sprang again while she was distracted, knocking her to the ground and taking the wind out of her. She glared up at him, then went limp, wheezing. He grinned with triumph, raising his paw for the death blow, and she kicked up with all her strength, sending him flying.

Sending a fervent thanks to StarClan for her large paws, she struggled to her paws, moving to pin him down before he could rise again, only to blink as Nightingale and Rook beat her to it. Rook held the tom down while Nightingale, with surprising ferocity, sank her teeth into his throat. The tom jerked for several moments, before growing still.

"Thanks," Sootpaw meowed, and the two rogues gave her a quick nod. Looking around, Sootpaw could see that the rest of their attackers were either dead or dying. She felt a flutter of guilt – warriors were not supposed to kill, after all – but pushed it away. It seemed they had a war on their paws, if the 'prisoners' were anything to go by, and they couldn't risk the rogues running to Carmelo.

Reedrush sank her teeth into the last tom's throat, holding him down while he twitched, before shaking her head and turning back to the others.

"Everyone alright?" she asked. Most of them were bleeding from some gash or another, but there were no incapacitating injuries, and she nodded to herself. "Alright. I do think they said something about prisoners, and if that's the case, they're probably somewhere in that building. Obviously we have to investigate, but there might be more cats in there, plus Bluepaw, so we'll be careful. Everyone ready?"

They nodded again, and she crossed the street with them in her heels, approaching the yawning door with caution.

The inside of the building was eerily empty, save for dusty wooden floors and old hanging lights. Reedrush stepped lightly down the corridor, and the others followed, pelts prickling with unease.

She paused as dim voices reached their ears, signaling for the others to follow her very slowly as she crept alongside the wall. Sootpaw strained to hear the voices, but couldn't make out any distinct words, only murmurs, until they drew closer to the room wherein the remaining guards sat.

"Think they got 'em?" one rumbled.

"'Course," the other snorted. "Just dumb Clanners. The first batch was easy 'nuff, after all."

The other mumbled his agreement, and Reedrush's eyes narrowed. She crouched, tensing to spring, and the others did the same.

She moved forwards like silver lightning, bursting through the doorway and springing onto the first guard before he knew what to do. Brackenpaw and Swanpaw moved together to take down the second, downing him before he could hardly make a sound. They dispatched the guards quickly, and then turned to look at the door before them with confusion. It seemed as though the guards had piled whatever rubbish they could find – rocks, a fallen light, some sort of strange block - in front of it to stop it from opening. There was no doubt that this was where the prisoners were being held.

"Alright," Reedrush whispered. "We don't know for sure there are Clan cats in there. They might be rogues, or something else entirely, so let's be careful. Help me move this junk."

They moved forward, pushing the rubble aside. The door creaked as Reedrush wrapped her claws around the crack between the door and frame, pulling it open. A musty scent rushed out, along with the smells of many cats and blood. Sootpaw's heart began to pound: there was no mistaking the scents of Clan cats, but there were rogue scents, too.

"Carefully, now," Reedrush said, moving towards the black passage that laid behind the door, pushing it a bit farther open with her shoulder and pausing as she saw the ledges leading into the darkness.

"Hello?" she called, rather than trying to go down herself. "Who's down there? It's me, Reedrush—"

"Reedrush!" came an exclamation, unmistakably Frostfeather's voice. "StarClan, I've never been happier to see you."

"The journeying cats?" came a male voice. "Is it really them? Are they in one piece?"

Shapes began to stir in the darkness, and Reedrush stepped backwards as the cats within began struggling upwards, squinting owlishly as they entered the dim light. Frostfeather was first, but the others quickly streamed after her, and Sootpaw tensed as she saw the PeakClan cats and rogues among them.

"Relax, relax," Petalcloud mewed as she noticed their hostility. "We were on a joint task force, is all. These are the marsh cats—oh, gracious, you all probably don't even know about all of that. It's a very long story—"

"Rabbitleap?" one of the PeakClan warriors asked, his eyes raking over the group. "Where is se? Where's Rabbitleap? Please, StarClan, don't tell me…."

"Rabbitleap's fine," Reedrush hastened to assure him. "She's with kits, is all. She couldn't make it back with us. We had to move quickly, and—well. She's alright. We left her in good care."

"Is that where Rainwind is?" the other PeakClan cat asked.

"And Thistlethorn?" Frostfeather mewed.

Reedrush's ears flattened at that. "There's an awful lot to explain. You see—"

"Never mind, never _mind,_" one of the rogues, a tabby with blazing green eyes, growled. "You can play catch-up later. Where is Spiderpaw, and Northstar? Did you find them? And we need to find Baron, right away. He was alive, but not for very long."

"Spiderpaw?" Sootpaw injected, feeling fear's cold touch run over her fur again. "He was with you? What happened, where is he?" Panic threatened to overtake her as the prisoners exchanged glances.

"We don't know," the tabby said finally. "From what we could tell, there wasn't enough room down there for all of us, so they took him somewhere else. Maybe next door. We need to find out. How did you _find _us?"

"Bluepaw showed us the way," Sootpaw said, and a ripple of surprise ran through the other cats.

"Then, do you know that she's…." Petalcloud trailed off.

"A traitor? Yeah, we know all about that," Swanpaw growled, before glancing towards the PeakClan cats again. "Hawktalon, do you…do you know how my mother…."

"She's alive," he said, although he still seemed dazed. "Rabbitleap was with _kits, _you said…?"

The tabby rolled her eyes with exasperation, moving past Reedrush with a growl. "Talk while you walk, idiots. Time is of the essence."

"You really need your wounds examined," Sage began, but it was no use; she had already left the room, and the rogues under her command were following her. Sootpaw blinked as she caught sight of Tubs, although it took her a moment to recognize him, as quite a bit of his fat had been replaced by muscle. He smiled as he caught sight of them, although it was a tired one, giving them a dip of his head.

Reedrush seemed to have noticed him as well, and she was distracted for a moment, until Leopardpaw growled,

"She's right, you know. We don't have time to waste just sitting here."

"Right, right. Sage, looking at them will just have to wait, if there are other prisoners," Reedrush meowed. "Come on, everyone, if you're able."

They hurried after the rogues, all the way out of the building. The tabby in charge paused, looking around, before she hurried up the street towards another Twoleg residence. More guards streamed out of this one, but the rogues didn't quail, springing at them with battle cries and ferocity. The Clan cats scrambled to their aid, and the guards were dealt with without too much trouble. All of the prisoners were tired and injured, but steely determination glinted in their eyes as they headed into the second building.

There was a door and stockpile almost identical to the first within this building, and the remaining guards were killed before they could utter a sound. The debris was cleared, and the door opened, although this one was much more stubborn, and the scents within were fainter.

The tabby padded down the stairs without a moment's hesitation, letting out a surprised hiss as she caught sight of something within. Curiously, the others filed after her, and Sootpaw's eyes widened as she caught sight of a familiar golden coat in the gloom.

"Hello," Carmelo said very softly, blinking at them with hazy eyes. Sootpaw could only stare, reeling with confusion.

_What's happened? Why's he here? _she asked, only to jump as the cats who had reached the bottom and encircled the stairs let out yowls of surprise. Turning, she could make out only writhing pelts and snarling before the attackers sprang away. Her heart leaped as she saw familiar green eyes set in a black pelt.

"Sorry!" Spiderpaw exclaimed, peering down at Reedrush with bemusement. "We thought you were those pieces of foxdung finally coming to check on us. There's a hollow place under the stairs, you see, so Northstar and I were going to ambush them if they tried anything stupid—"

"We see that, thanks," the tabby said sarcastically, risingback to her paws and shaking the dirt from her pelt. "I'm sure you would have scared them out of their pelts. It's not like they already knew there were prisoners down here or anything."

True to form, Spiderpaw bristled. "Obviously they knew we were here, but we could still get the jump on them," he growled, before blinking. "Wait. Reedrush, is that you? That means—"

He turned around, finally locking gazes with Sootpaw, and she felt herself rocked with surprise. This was not the furious little apprentice – barely more than a grumpy kit – that she had known. Irritation still sparked in his eyes, and he obviously still retained his sharp tongue, but he had gotten bigger – not as much as she had, but he had still noticeably grown –, filled out a bit. There was something else about him, though, something about the way he held himself. His eyes weren't as challenging as they had been, and he didn't look as though he was about to rip out anyone's throat.

"Sootpaw," he whispered, and they rushed towards one another, him crashing into her chest as she ran her muzzle over his ears.

"I thought I'd never see you again," he said, his voice muffled by her fur. "_StarClan _you've gotten big. I was hoping I had gained on you just a little bit, you furball!" He drew back and blinked up at her, green eyes wide. "Mom and Dad are going to be so impressed. I bet you could take Dad in a fight, easy. But that's not really important, I guess." He looked to the tabby. "How much do they know?"

Sootpaw's gut twisted at the mention of their parents, but she distracted herself by looking to the tabby, readying herself for some sort of briefing.

"Nothing," the rogue admitted, then glanced at Northstar. "Care to explain _him?_" She jerked her muzzle towards Carmelo. "I'm surprised you haven't gutted him, frankly."

"So am I," the deputy rumbled, "but he has actually been fairly helpful. He seems sick, though."

"Yes, he's definitely running a fever," Sage said, approaching the golden tom with caution. "A nasty one, it seems like."

"I thought as much," the city boss purred, much to Sootpaw's bemusement. "I should thank you all for rescuing us, assuming that's what you're here for. Or rescuing them, at least. I would really appreciate it if you didn't just leave me down here, if that's at all possible. It's rather grim, I'm afraid." He coughed. "Poor things look confused, though. You should at least give them some sort of briefing."

Northstar nodded. "I'll keep it simple. Carmelo's been overthrown by Maggot, who holds a grudge against PeakClan. It seems AshClan was just caught in the crossfire, but he's almost certainly going to exterminate them, if only for the forest. His family used to own it, and he wants it back. We tried to trick him, but failed, and this is the result. He was planning on attacking the Clan at dawn; I'm assuming that dawn has already passed. Fern here," he nodded to the tabby she-cat, "is the deputy of some rogues that have taken up living in the marsh. The marsh has been granted to them by AshClan, and they are currently AshClan's allies, although their connection to PeakClan is murky at best. Baron is their leader, but he was grievously injured."

Sootpaw's eyes widened as he spoke, and she looked at Carmelo again, hardly able to believe his change of fortune. He smiled at her, clearly recognizing her from their midnight rendezvous, but remained silent, much to her relief.

"Speaking of Baron," Fern injected, "we need to find him. Immediately. I don't think Maggot moved him from where…from where he tossed him." A shudder ran through her. "He was still alive when I got to him, but barely, and if he's not already dead, he will be soon without help."

"That would mean going back to Maggot's hideout," Northstar growled. "We are absolutely not doing that. The Clans are in danger."

"We'll never reach it in time to make a difference," Petalcloud pointed out. "It will take hours for us to get home, and by then it will all be over."

"We can't go back anyway," Spiderpaw meowed. "We haven't done what we set out to do."

Northstar's brow furrowed. "That doesn't seem like a possibility, at the moment. Maggot has probably marched with his troops already."

"Oh, I wouldn't count on that," came Carmelo's breezy voice. "Much as he loves watching a good battle, he's paranoid as all get out…and for good reason, I expect. He won't be leaving home for a mere skirmish, oh no…and he won't be attacking both Clans at once. He saw how well that worked out with Lion. Oh, no, he won't be taking any chances." The tom paused to wheeze for a moment, struggling to catch his breath. "My bet is that he is going after AshClan right now, since they're closer and he's fought with them before. Once he makes sure that's gone alright, he'll get to the nitty-gritty, what he's really after. He might leave to watch PeakClan's downfall, but certainly not AshClan's."

"So he's still here, basically," Reedrush said, and Carmelo gave her a lazy dip of his head.

"I would think so."

"Can we really trust his appraisal?" Frostfeather asked, voice ringing with skepticism. "He's the one who was dethroned, after all. He obviously didn't know Maggot as well as he thought he did. And he might be lying, anyway. We're not allies."

"Thank you for pointing out my fall from grace again. I needed to hear it." His voice was dry, and he rolled his golden eyes. "There's no reason for me to lie. Maggot's no friend of mine, that much is obvious, and I never intended to destroy the Clans. My plan hinged on becoming your savior, as Bluepaw's probably already told you – I'm assuming she was found out, since she's not among you."

"It's true, then?" Spiderpaw's voice was soft. "She really was a traitor?"

Sootpaw's eyes clouded with sympathy, and she nodded. He ducked his head, and she remembered what had brought them there in the first place.

"But I think she had a change of heart," she said, looking back to Carmelo. "She led us to the prisoners. She redeemed herself, in a way." It wasn't enough to make up for the deaths she had caused, but it was enough to give Sootpaw hope that the ex-medicine cat might find her own, brighter path, with enough time.

"I'm a traitor, by the way," Leopardpaw said flatly. "Just wanted to get that out there, so there's no drama later. I'm reformed, though, apparently."

Surprise and disappointment rippled through Sootpaw's pelt, but she was surprised by Spiderpaw flicking his tail against the golden she-cat's pelt.

"She really is on our side now," he insisted. Sootpaw saw it again, the strangeness in his demeanor; it took her a moment to realize it was something akin to confidence. Not the sort that came from snarls and claws, but the kind that rose from understanding other cats, and holding their respect.

_He's grown up, _she realized, and felt her stomach twist, although she wasn't sure whether the feeling was good or bad.

"So what are you proposing?" Petalcloud asked. "Are we going back there to try again? I'm not sure it's a good idea, but there's not much else we can do…."

"You have us," Reedrush promised. "We'll do whatever it takes, if Maggot really is our true enemy."

Fern's tail was lashing from side to side; it was obvious the she-cat wanted nothing more than to chase after Baron. "Decide quickly, if you're coming. My rogues definitely are. We'll wait for you outside. Tubs, help Carmelo up."

The heavyset tom lumbered towards the golden tabby, taking his scruff in his jaws, as the other rogues headed upstairs. Carmelo let out a low groan as he was lifted onto his paws, and Tubs half-carried him to the open door.

Northstar's tail flicked with indecision. Finally, he bowed his head. "I suppose we have no choice but to attempt it. Killing Maggot might be the only thing we can do for the Clans, at this point. Hawktalon, Goldenshine?"

Hawktalon swallowed. "If Rabbitleap really…if I'm going to be a father…of course I'll help. So long as Maggot's alive, my kits won't be safe."

Goldenshine gave a grudging nod, and Northstar looked to Petalcloud and Frostfeather.

"Of course we're in," Frostfeather meowed. "I'd like to gut that monster, frankly, and I'm sure not going home before his head has rolled."

Reedrush started to speak, before glancing back to Rook, Nightingale, and Sage.

"This isn't really your fight," she mewed. "If you don't want to stand with us, we'll understand."

Rook snorted. "We came this far. We've fought plenty o' cats the past moon or two. Few more can't hurt."

"Maggot's group plagued Tremor's for ages," Sage said. "It's more my fight than you might think. I can only imagine the look on Tremor's face if he found out I helped to finally take that monster down for good. Of course I'll help."

"Thank you, all of you," Reedrush said. "Let's not waste any more time, then. Maggot won't be expecting us; now is the best time to strike, but it's a fleeting window, and we'll have to act quickly. Let's go."

The group filed upstairs, hurrying out of the old building. Fern's rogues were on the street, as she had said, mostly encircling Carmelo. He was speaking to them in a soft voice, smiling, but from the expressions of the others, it seemed he wasn't making much sense as the fever took its toll.

"Would it be alright if I gave him a bit of our chamomile and juniper?" Sage asked quietly. "I put it off to the side when the guards rushed us, so it would be safe, but it seems as though he needs it."

Reedrush's jaw clenched at the suggestion, but to Sootpaw's surprise, Spiderpaw spoke up,

"He's in pretty rough shape, and he'll die without some sort of treatment. Obviously we have plenty of issues with him, and what he's done can't be forgiven, but all things considered…he's a better leader than Maggot, and the rogues will resent us if we don't do anything to help."

She weighed it over, but finally nodded. "Only a bit, though, do you understand?"

Sage dipped his head and darted away. She looked back towards the others.

"The cure is—"

"Foxglove, juniper berries, and chamomile," Northstar rumbled. "We know. We had a bit of help, but that's not really important."

"Perhaps you should fill us in a bit more on what's happened while we were gone," Reedrush said. "There's a lot to tell you all as well—"

Sootpaw wasn't really listening as the older cats talked; she knew the apprentices would be more than happy to fill her in on everything later, when she got home.

_Home. _Just the word was enough to send a pang running through her, as she watched Sage hustle to where he had left the herbs on the concrete. There was so much to explain, so much to say—

Her thoughts broke off as a tail touched her pelt, and she turned to find Spiderpaw smiling up at her.

"Hey," he purred. "You haven't said much. Somehow I thought you might have become ore of a talker while you were gone."

She smiled back despite herself. "There wasn't room for me to speak, really. Everyone seems to know what they're doing. But…I've definitely changed. Everything's changed, really."

"Yeah. I can see that." His eyes held what was almost a faint twinkle as he smirked at her. "So much for becoming Moonpaw, eh?"

She knew he had no idea how much weight her not-so-imaginary friend's name held, but it knocked the wind out of her anyway, and concern flitted over his face.

"Sorry, sorry," he said immediately. "It was just a joke. You're much better than Moonpaw, honest."

She flushed with embarrassment and surprise underneath her fur. "You think so?"

He grinned. "Of course. Moonpaw was always a little too dainty, from what you talked about. I mean, look at you. You're strong enough to take on whoever you like, and defend everyone…but there's still that warmth to you. I'm glad that didn't disappear." He flicked his tail against her pelt again. "That's what always made you better than me. You're kind. Like Silverstar, in a way – always willing to take another look at things, give cats another chance, even when they don't deserve them. You did it with me enough times."

_You have no idea, _she thought, but his words coaxed her smile back. "Thanks. You've turned out pretty nicely yourself." She reached down to nuzzle him between the ears, and he dodged away from her touch.

"Don't get all mushy on me," he complained, but his eyes were glowing, and she felt a purr rumbling in her throat. For a moment, it didn't matter whose blood ran through her veins: he was her brother just the same.

**AN: Chapter's a bit late, but we got there! 2-year anniversary is tomorrow, the 16****th****! Crazy stuff, man, crazy stuff. Blog update in the morning, don't forget that exists. ;)**


	72. C h a p t e r 71

**C**_**hapter **_**71**

"We need to make some sort of plan before we attempt to attack Maggot again," Northstar growled. "If what Carmelo said is true, and Maggot is still there, we can't just run at him and hope things go better this time. What do we know about the warehouse, exactly?"

"There will be guards by all the windows again," Fern said, looking up from Carmelo, who had grown quiet again, soothed by the chamomile Sage had provided. "But they might be in fewer numbers, if he's sent his cats to go and fight. He won't be as cautious now that he feels the downfall of the Clans is imminent, and thinks we're still prisoners. I wouldn't be surprised if he's asleep up on that tower of his." Her lip curled with distaste.

"We should attack from the rear this time," Petalcloud suggested, "rather than walking in the front door and presenting ourselves to be captured again. If we can ambush the guards quickly, we might be able to sneak up on him."

Frostfeather's claws kneaded the ground. "I'd be more than willing to start the ambush."

"We shouldn't depend on him being surprised," Leopardpaw said quietly. "He didn't get to where he is by being stupid. He's crazy, but as cunning as a fox, and we can't underestimate him. Our escape will certainly throw him off, but it might not be enough. He has plenty of advantages over us; it's his home, and he knows it well."

Spiderpaw's eyes flicked over the cuts on her face, from where she had been struck by Maggot's falling bottle, and he frowned. _Advantages, _he mused, looking towards the warehouses. _He certainly has plenty…and the largest is…._

"The tower," he said, and the others glanced towards him.

"Tower?" Reedrush echoed, glancing towards the other. "What tower?"

"'Tower' seems a bit much," Carmelo purred sleepily. "It's only boxes piled on top of each other, and not many at that."

"Maggot must have made it larger after you left," Fern said. "It's huge now, practically reaches the ceiling."

Carmelo blinked up at them with dazed interest. "Really? I should have expected as much. Likes to lord over things, Maggot does. I do recall him trying to make his own perch taller, actually. I told him to stop, though. He was making the whole thing unstable."

The beginning of a plan had already started forming in Spiderpaw's mind, and Carmelo's words only clinched it. "That's what we'll have to do, then. We'll have to take down the tower." He looked to Leopardpaw. "You couldn't get to him before because he had the advantage of height, and he could avoid you with ease. But if we take that away – if we strike in the right places, enough to unbalance the whole thing and send it tumbling down – he won't know what to do. He won't have anywhere to hide."

Carmelo let out something almost akin to a giggle. "Oh, my, my. What I would give to see Maggot's face when his perch crumbles along with his regime. Rather devious, little apprentice."

The others ignored him, mulling it over. Finally, Northstar nodded.

"It could work, if Maggot was careless enough to make his tower unbalanced, and if we can find the right places to push. We'll need strong cats, though; it's rather large, and pulling or pushing the boxes away won't be easy. We'll make a small group to take care of it, headed by me. You," he nodded to Tubs, "could help, and you." The second 'you' was addressed to Rook, who seemed surprised, but nodded.

"I'll help too," Sootpaw spoke up, and Spiderpaw shot her a look of surprise as she smiled. "Got to put these big paws to _some _use, right?"

Although he couldn't help but be a bit disappointed that he himself wouldn't be able to help, he felt a prickle of pride at her confidence. "You'll do great."

"We'll need another group to attack the guards in the windows before they can alert Maggot that we're coming," Northstar went on. "We'll need fast cats for this one, those that can rush in and dispatch the guards before they know what hit them." He looked to Spiderpaw, and the young tom immediately nodded.

"I'll do it," he said, then looked to Petalcloud, who dipped her head as well.

"Me too, I suppose," said Goldenshine with a roll of his eyes, and Nightingale nodded quickly.

"Once they're out of the way, the rest of us will rush in," Fern said. "Northstar's group can try to unbalance the tower, and everyone else will hold off whatever rogues are still in the warehouse. I'll go after Baron, if…if he's still alive, and get him to safety, hopefully. Then we'll focus on killing Maggot, and dealing with Flicka. I don't know where her loyalty lies in all of this."

"She'll turn on Maggot once it becomes obvious he's losing," Carmelo murmured, eyes closed again. "Pragmatic thing, Flicka. Pretty, but pragmatic."

"You should stay here with him," Swanpaw mewed to Sage, but the white tom let out an indignant huff.

"Absolutely not!" he exclaimed. "I will not sit here while the rest of you go and risk your lives. I can fight just fine, and there is not much more I can do for Carmelo, anyway. No offense, of course." He looked down, but the golden tom barely acknowledged him, looking on the verge of falling asleep despite all the excitement. "Besides, I am neither of a Clan nor one of Fern's rogues. No one can give me orders." His green eyes sparked with determination, and Spiderpaw blinked, confused. _Just who is this guy?_

"Besides," Sage went on, giving Swanpaw a small smile, "someone has to keep an eye on you."

She snorted. "I'll be the one saving your tail, just you wait," she replied, but her tail brushed briefly against his.

"There's not much more planning that can be done," Northstar said, ignoring the apprentice-shenanigans. "We will just have to adapt the plan as we go along, depending on how Maggot reacts. We'll leave Carmelo alone here, I suppose – he isn't liable to go anywhere, and anyone that flees the warehouse won't stop long enough to hurt him – and do this as quickly as we can. This is our second chance: whether we succeed or fail might determine the fate of the Clans."

"And marsh cats," Fern said with a roll of her eyes, but Northstar ignored her.

"Let's go," he growled, flicking his pale tail, and leading the others towards the back of the warehouse.

. . .

"You said Bluepaw showed you the way?" Spiderpaw whispered to his sister, as the group crept through the grass, approaching the back of the warehouse.

She nodded. "Yes, but she disappeared. She must have slipped out the back; there's no telling where she is now. I don't think she would have stayed much longer. She's not loyal to Carmelo or Maggot, and she couldn't help us any more than she already has."

He felt a prickle of sorrow as he thought of the medicine cat's dancing eyes, and felt Sootpaw nuzzle his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know you two were really close before she left – and she missed you a lot, the whole way. Maybe that's what helped her make her decision to help us…that you were in trouble, I mean."

"Maybe." He turned to look at her, marveling again at how much taller she'd grown. _The tower won't stand a chance, _he thought, eyeing her large paws – one white, one dark. "Be careful, won't you? The boxes can't weigh much if they're empty, but if they all crash down on you at once…."

"I'll be careful if you will," she promised, a gleam in her yellow eyes as she licked his ear. "I spent too long walking all the way back to lose you again so quickly."

"It wasn't easy for us back home, either," he replied, trying to hide his embarrassment. "A lot's happened. There's so much to tell."

Her eyes darkened for a moment. "Yeah. There is."

"Alright," Northstar rumbled from ahead of them. "Petalcloud, it's up to your group. Be quick, and be quiet."

The calico she-cat dipped her head, flicking her tails to the others and beginning to creep forwards only to pause as Reedrush mewed,

"Be careful of the windows. It's quite a drop if you go through them, so if you fall, make sure your enemy is beneath you."

Petalcloud nodded. "Thank you. We will," she said, before twitching her ear at her apprentice.

"See ya," Spiderpaw meowed, touching his sister's nose with his own before moving after his mentor. To his surprise, Leopardpaw moved with him.

"No one's as good at ambushes as me," she said at his questioning look, and he couldn't help but smile.

They pushed their way through the grass with caution, feeling the rest of the group trailing them at a distance. Petalcloud signaled for them to stop as they drew closer, seeing the eyes of the guards flickering in the empty window frames.

"Caution's the most important thing," she murmured. "Reedrush would know about the fall, since she and Jaggedclaw rescued quite a few cats from this warehouse once before, so we have to be mindful of that. There might be broken glass scattered around too, and if you cut your paws, you'll be at a disadvantage. Everyone, just keep your wits about you."

"Let's just go," Goldenshine hissed, undermining everything Petalcloud had just said, and she gave him a sharp glance.

"If you can't be patient, go back with the others," she meowed. Goldenshine's ears flattened, but he didn't say anything further, only pulling up grass with his claws.

"Good luck to all of you," Petalcloud said, crouching so that her belly was pressed against the earth. The others copied her, and she smiled. "May StarClan be on our side. Now!"

They lunged forward together, closing the small distance between the warehouse and their hiding place in seconds. Spiderpaw targeted a guard just to the left of the center, lunging towards him with outstretched paws. To his relief, the guard leaped forwards instead of trying to retreat further in; he didn't want to risk falling into the darkness of the warehouse.

He dodged to the side as the guard charged, leaping onto his back before the tom could turn around and digging his claws into the tom's back. The tom turned around to snap at him, and immediately Spiderpaw reached out with one paw to drag his claws over the tom's throat.

The tom shuddered underneath his paws, slumping to the ground with a rattle, and Spiderpaw rolled off of him. The tom's eyes were already glazing over by the time Spiderpaw faced him, and within mere seconds, he was gone.

The apprentice stared down at the body for a long moment, then his bloodied claws, a bit shaken. A tail brushed against his pelt, and he spun around, nearly leaping out of his fur before he realized it was Leopardpaw. Her claws were also bloody, but her green gaze was firm.

"You did what you had to," she mewed, giving the tom's body a brief skim with her eyes. "I know warriors have a hang-up about killing, but he would have killed you without hesitation if you hadn't gotten there first."

"I know," he said, his pelt ruffling uncomfortably. "That doesn't make it easier."

She shrugged. "Killing shouldn't ever be easy." She looked towards the grass, and Spiderpaw followed her gaze, heart pounding as he watched the rest of the group surge through the windows they had just cleared, disappearing into the darkness below.

"They need us," she meowed, flicking her tail, and he nodded.

"Thanks," he said, and the two of them headed for one of the yawning holes together. He peered into the shadows, spotting the boxes the toms had used to get to the windows in the first place, and with a glance back at Leopardpaw, sprang on the top one. It wobbled underneath of him but did not fall, much to his relief, and he continued downwards.

He could see Northstar's group running towards the tower, atop which Maggot sat; he must have heard them coming, for he had turned and was staring down at them with some degree of amusement. He said something, but Spiderpaw couldn't hear what it was over the yowls of the approaching rogues, as they raced to protect their master.

"Good luck," Leopardpaw said, and before he could stop her she darted into the fray, disappearing into the mass of bodies. He moved to race after her, only to pause as he heard a snarl on his right. Turning, he saw that someone had fallen through the windows after all; they were thrashing weakly in another cat's grasp, as the attacker tore into them. Bloody golden fur flashed in a stray sunbeam, and Spiderpaw moved forward immediately, tackling the attacking cat and biting down on her shoulder as hard as he could. She yowled, trying to twist around and snap at him, but he sprang away after giving her a few slashes with his claws.

The she-cat faced him, hissing, and lunged forwards. She was fast, but he managed to duck to the side and avoid her, leaping up onto the nearest box and jumping onto her back once more, raking his claws down its length. She yowled, reaching to snap at him, only to yowl again as Goldenshine – the tom she'd had pinned – surged forwards to tear at her stomach. She twisted, and Spiderpaw bailed rather than be thrown to the ground. He turned just in time to watch her flee, before turning back to look at Goldenshine. The PeakClan warrior was panting heavily, several gashes bleeding freely in his previously-sleek fur.

"You're welcome," Spiderpaw said, and the PeakClan tom let out a low growl.

"I was doing just fine," he said, but there was a tremor running through his legs from his fall, and they both knew he was lying.

"I saved your life," Spiderpaw snapped, "and I know how you can repay me. Keep your mouth shut about you and Shimmerfrost."

Goldenshine's eyes widened to an almost comical size, but Spiderpaw's gaze was steely. "I know you two were together, and she dumped you. You want revenge. But you can't take it, understand? PeakClan – Northstar especially – won't look on you too favorably for taking up with a medicine cat from another Clan. Things aren't like they used to be, and if you try anything, I'll make sure it all comes out. Understand?"

The golden warrior's eyes blazed with fury, but he finally dipped his head. "I understand."

Spiderpaw nodded, before turning as there was a tremendous crash. Moving around the boxes that hid him and Goldenshine from view, his eyes widened as he saw the tower crumple to the ground, with a dozen cats racing to outrun it to avoid being trapped. His heart leaped as he saw Sootpaw, her eyes glowing as she spotted him.

"We did it!" she crowed, and he moved towards her, grinning.

"You certainly did. Where's Maggot?"

"Don't know," she answered. "He was definitely on top before, but he moved as he saw we were actually about to take it down. He might be buried in there somewhere. Northstar will find him. I just want to make sure everyone's okay, see if anyone needs help—" She broke off as she turned and saw something that made her fur bristle. Without a word of explanation, she took off, and Spiderpaw scrambled to run after her.

It took him a moment to recognize the cat she was rushing to help; it was the white tom from the mountains, Sage. He was locked in combat with one burly tom, but there was another behind him, preparing to strike.

_We can't get there fast enough, _Spiderpaw realized with a sinking heart, and Sootpaw shouted the rogue's name.

He turned just as the second tom lunged, going in for the kill, only to find another cat between him and his prey. Swanpaw seemed to appear out of nowhere, just in time to disappear under the hefty rogue. Sage moved to help her, but was trapped by his own opponent.

Sootpaw let out a surprisingly fierce battle cry as she leaped at the cat fighting Swanpaw, struggling to tear him away from the smaller she-cat. Spiderpaw did the same with Sage's opponent, slashing at his flanks while the healer attacked his face and chest. Together, they finally managed to turn the rogue away, sending him pelting away with a yowl. Spiderpaw didn't waste time watching him go, turning immediately to Sootpaw, but it seemed she had already succeeded in running off her own opponent, if his blood trail was anything to go by. Spiderpaw felt a spark of triumph and pride for his sister, but it disappeared as he saw her expression, and he realized that Swanpaw was still lying on the ground.

Blood bubbled from a slash across her throat, and her face was twisted with pain. Sage swooped down by her side immediately, urging her to lie still, but she attempted to speak.

"Guess..guess we're even," she gasped, her white fur turning scarlet.

"Just relax, just stay down," Sage meowed, trying to keep his voice level despite the panic in his eyes. "You're going to be fine, Swanpaw. We're not even, we're _not, _because if you die…then you gave up a lot for me than I did for you when I pulled you out of the river, don't you see?"

Swanpaw ignored him, eyes flicking up to Sootpaw. "S…sorry, about what I said after…after Rainwind and everything else. You turned out okay after all."

Sootpaw's ears were pinned against her head. "No, no, you were right. I wasn't fast enough…I let Rainwind down before, and now you…."

The ginger-and-white apprentice smiled, her eyes growing clouded. "I'll be happy to tell Snowpaw I was sorry…finally…and my mom…."

"Swanpaw." Sage's voice was a low hiss, and Spiderpaw looked to him with surprise, not having thought the white tom was capable of such a tone. "You listen to me. You are _not _going to die, alright? I won't allow it. Your mother isn't waiting for you in StarClan – that PeakClan tom said she was alive, remember? And Snowpaw already knows you're sorry, I can promise you that. I'll tell her myself if I have to, but you will _not _die. Keep your eyes open. Focus on me. That is not a request."

Sootpaw seemed just as surprised by the mountain cat's tone, but it was enough for Swanpaw's eyes to return to him, and hold still.

"I'm not letting you go, today or ever," Sage growled, his voice growing strained, and he bent to lick her ear. "It's going to be okay. You'll be just fine, I swear it. And when this is all over, we'll find a way to keep meeting – fate will provide for us, even if the Clans won't. I'm not letting go, I'm _not _but you have to stay with me."

Swanpaw only stared for a moment longer, before she managed to whisper, "Okay."

Sage looked up to Sootpaw. "Stay with her. I have to find some cobwebs to stop the bleeding; there's bound to be some here, filthy as it is."

"I will," Sootpaw promised, and Sage ducked his head, before darting away, disappearing from view. Sootpaw bent down to murmur something to Swanpaw, while Spiderpaw remained still, not wanting to leave but knowing he was of no use standing next to them. Finally, Sootpaw looked up.

"Go on," she meowed. "Someone else is bound to need you. We have to fight together, all of us, if we're going to make it. Find Maggot, and make him pay for all of this."

Spiderpaw nodded, before taking off, streaking around the fallen tower, glancing around in hopes of spotting Maggot. But there was nothing, no white pelt or mad yellow eyes, and his heart sank.

_Could he be trapped underneath the boxes? Or is he already gone? _

"Spiderpaw!"

His head whipped to the side as his name was called, but he could not see where it had come from. Then, in the crowd, he saw Northstar rear onto his hind paws, slashing at the ginger tom before him while turning to face the apprentice.

"Up there!" Northstar roared, jerking his head over his shoulder. "She needs you!"

Spiderpaw followed the motion, and his eyes widened as he saw Leopardpaw scaling another large pile. And, even farther above her, he saw Maggot's gleaming eyes as he watched the battle. This time there was nothing for him to throw down on Leopardpaw, but it was clear that she would not be fast enough to reach him, if he began running.

Maggot's grin widened as he saw Spiderpaw staring up at him. He shouted something – it sounded like "Gotta run," although Spiderpaw was too far away to be sure – before he turned on his tail. Spiderpaw traced the stacks of boxes, realizing with a sinking heart that there was a clear trail above the battlefield that would lead to the front of the warehouse. Maggot would get away, would live to fight another day, and the Clans would be doomed.

_Not if I can help it, _he vowed, and took off. He wove through the crowd, dodging flailing paws and falling bodies, thanking StarClan for his small size with each time his paws hit the dusty, bloodied floor. His mentors – both Petalcloud and Jaggedclaw – shouted in his ears, reminding him to stay alert, to watch where the blows were falling to avoid them, to use his speed to his advantage, to protect his Clanmates with every breath left in his body.

He tried to keep an eye on Maggot as he ran, but it proved impossible; all of his attention had to be focused on the mass of writhing bodies struggling to get in his way, seemingly doing whatever they could to slow him down as they fought their own battles.

At one point, he was half a second too slow, and hit the ground with a yowl as claws dug into his hindquarters. He twisted around, trying to claw at his opponent, only to watch with astonishment as the calico was knocked off of her paws by Tubs' charge.

"Go, go!" the gray tom barked, nosing Spiderpaw to his paws, and with a rushed 'thanks,' the apprentice was running again.

The entrance to the warehouse was almost upon him, and he finally looked up again, eyes widening as he saw Maggot was picking his way down the boxes, almost to the ground. Spiderpaw moved to block him with a snarl, and the city boss laughed in his face.

"Step aside, runt," he hissed. "I don't have time to tear you apart."

"You're going to have to," Spiderpaw retorted, and Maggot leaped. Spiderpaw read his direction with ease, and moved to the right, still standing between the white tom and the entrance. Maggot landed smoothly, baring his fangs.

"I've killed cats four times your size!" he snarled.

"Then why haven't you killed _me_ yet?" Spiderpaw challenged, blood pounding in his ears. "Scared?"

With another snarl, Maggot lunged forwards, and this time Spiderpaw was less lucky. He landed on his back, with the white tom's claws tearing into his stomach and his breath hot in Spiderpaw's face. Without hesitation, Spiderpaw twisted and sank his teeth into the white tom's leg; it was filthy, and tasted almost of crowfood, but he hung on. Just like in training, he twisted, forcing Maggot to move with him or risk breaking his leg. When Maggot's weight had shifted far enough, Spiderpaw slipped out of his grasp, scrambling to his paws just as Maggot charged again.

The rogue's claws clipped his shoulder as Spiderpaw sprang back, and he let out a low hiss at the sting.

_Just got to stall him, _he thought, panting. _Just got to keep him here, long enough for Leopardpaw to get him…._

Clearly Maggot was thinking the same thing, for rather than try to attack again, he turned towards the entrance, now that it was clear. Spiderpaw pounced, landing on the white tom's shoulders.

Maggot didn't waste time snapping at him, rearing onto his hind paws instead. Spiderpaw hung on, sinking his fangs into the rogue's shoulder rather than trying to get away. He was already winded, and the slashes on his stomach were deep; he couldn't continue to dodge Maggot's other attacks for much longer. All he could do was hang on for as long as he could, and hope that help would come in time.

Maggot twisted, balancing precariously on his hind legs and trying to shake him free, but when it became clear it wasn't going to work, he finally fell backwards. Spiderpaw felt the wind rushing up towards his back as they fell, but he only bit harder, sinking his claws in as much as he could.

The force of Maggot's fall crushed him, knocking all the wind out of his little body in one pained huff. It also drove his claws and fangs even deeper into the white tom; the city boss let out a howl of pain, but rolled to the side, smashing Spiderpaw even harder into the ground. The apprentice's grip finally slackened, and Maggot managed to rise to his paws. His back was streaked crimson, and his wounds continued to bleed freely, but triumph glowed in the tom's yellow eyes as he stared down at the crumpled apprentice.

"You should have listened, whelp," he spat. "I think I do have a moment to finish you off."

Spiderpaw tried to rise to his paws, but could barely roll onto his side as he struggled for breath, gasps shaking his thin body. Maggot's paw rose, ready to slash his throat, and the tom's face twisted with hatred as he prepared to deliver the final blow.

And then, so quickly Spiderpaw almost couldn't see it, came a dappled streak from the heavens. Leopardpaw flung herself from the top of the box stack, paws outstretched, and hit Maggot squarely in the back, slamming him into the ground. Spiderpaw thought he heard something crunch over his own pained breathing, but couldn't be sure.

Leopardpaw rose, seemingly unharmed, but Maggot only twitched on the ground, yellow eyes still glowing. He tried to force himself to his paws, but she pinned him down firmly, green eyes narrowed.

"That was for my uncle," she hissed, and then looked towards Spiderpaw, green eyes meeting green eyes. "This is for my Clan."

"You—" Maggot began, but never finished, as the golden apprentice's jaws met his throat. She bit down with all the force she could muster, and his eyes widened as she jerked her head to the side, smashing his muzzle into the ground. She released him, but his head did not rise; his body only jerked as blood spread from the wound on his throat, matting his dingy fur and the dusty floor. With one last jerk, the light in his yellow eyes died, and he was still.

Leopardpaw spat onto his body, before moving towards Spiderpaw, a touch of concern glinting in her eyes.

"Are you alright?" she asked, reaching down as if to nose him to his paws.

"That," he gasped in reply, "was pretty spectacular."

A warm glow came into her eyes, and she gave him the quickest of licks, so fast he barely felt it at all. "Thanks for standing by me, Spiderpaw. Come on, let's get you up."

At that moment, a yowl rang out over the entire battlefield, making them both freeze. It came again, and Spiderpaw's eyes widened as he recognized Flicka, standing high above her subordinates, although her pelt was streaked with blood and fur hung off of her shoulders in clumps.

"Stop!" she ordered. "Maggot is dead. His reign is over. There's no point in the rest of us dying for him."

Spiderpaw glanced towards Leopardpaw, and was surprised to see her smirking.

"My uncle might not have known Maggot as well as he should," she meowed, "but you've got to admit, he had Flicka pegged."

. . .

After the din died down – with a few more shouts from Flicka for the more stubborn soldiers – the two groups began collecting themselves. Leopardpaw helped Spiderpaw back to the others, who had gathered around Swanpaw; he was relieved to see her flanks were still rising, albeit shallowly. Sootpaw turned towards them as they approached, relief glowing in her eyes. She hurried to their side, and Spiderpaw leaned on her instead, giving Leopardpaw a break; the golden she-cat was winded from her running too, and was feeling her monumental jump now that her adrenaline was fading.

"Where's Fern?" he asked, not seeing her amongst the group – or any of the other rogues.

"They're near the tower," Northstar rumbled, eyes glittering with triumph despite the wounds dotting his pelt. "Crowded around Baron. I gather he's still alive."

Hawktalon looked up from nuzzling his niece's ear. "How are we going to get so many injured cats home?"

"Very slowly," was the deputy's dry response. "We should be grateful that all we have are wounded, and not dead."

Spiderpaw blinked, surprised to find that the PeakClan tom was right; every face was present and accounted for.

"You all fought well," Northstar went on. "No one had to fight alone. Everyone had someone to fall back on – whether they were a Clanmate or not."

"We were all one Clan, once," Sootpaw murmured, so quietly Spiderpaw almost didn't catch it.

_What does that mean? _he wondered, but there was no time to ask her, not when they were gathering themselves up again.

"There are plenty of cobwebs here," Sage said. "I can patch everyone up, if we can spare the time."

"There's no telling what's happened to the Clans while we've been here," Frostfeather said, ears pinned against her head.

"Yes, but if we all bleed to death on the way home, we won't be of any use to anyone," Petalcloud reminded her gently.

"If they fought like we did, they'll be fine," Reedrush said, although her eyes were clouded with worry as well.

Goldenshine stiffened nearby. "We've got company," he growled, and the others followed his gaze. Spiderpaw tensed as he realized it was Flicka padding towards them, although she walked with a limp and was not flanked by any guards; almost all of the rogues had fled the warehouse already.

"Is Carmelo alive?" she asked immediately. When Northstar nodded, her face darkened for a brief instant.

"Hoping he was dead so you could have all the power for yourself?" Leopardpaw demanded, bristling. Flicka met her with an icy stare.

"I think he's already proven to your Clans how dangerous he is," she growled. "You know of the plans he crafted, how he wanted to take them over. Do _you _want him back in power?"

"He won't be – and neither will you," came another voice, and Spiderpaw saw it was Fern striding forwards. Her muzzle was splashed with blood, but her eyes were calm as she stared at the flecked she-cat. "Neither of you are trustworthy – and we can't let the city be ruled by one cat, or even two. Bosses can't be trusted by anyone, and they bring the city nothing but strife."

The fur on Flicka's shoulders bristled, the only betrayal of her irritation. "You seem to think you're in a strong position here. I assure you that is not the case."

"Plenty of your cats are dead – not too good at that whole teamwork thing, I gather – and so is Maggot. Carmelo's looking to go the same way, without help, which leaves you standing all on your own." Fern's voice was breezy. "I'd say we're in a firmer position than you, at the moment. Now, you're going to stuff whatever plans you have brewing, and you're going to let us tend to our wounded. Then we're going home. In three day's time, you'll be meeting with us, and we'll all decide what to do with the city. We'll be taking Carmelo with us, too, so don't be getting any ideas about knocking him off while our backs are turned. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," was Flicka's half-hissed response, and with another glare at the Clan cats, she turned away, stalking towards what remained of her following.

Fern flicked her tail to Sage. "I need you to look at Baron. He's…in a bad way. Then you can tend to everyone else."

Sage gave Swanpaw another nuzzle and a hushed promise, before nodding, following the tabby she-cat. Spiderpaw watched her go, a little awed.

_If Baron doesn't pull through, she'll make a _fantastic _leader. _

The others looked to Northstar, and he nodded, sitting down and curling his tail around his dark paws. "We have nothing to do but wait, for the moment."

Sage returned some time later, and quickly set about binding the worst wounds the Clan cats had sustained. It was imperative that they get to the forest, he explained, as the cobwebs were dirty and would lead to infections without marigold or something similar, but it was all he had to offer them in the heart of the city. He was very gentle, which Spiderpaw appreciated when he reached the dark tom's sore stomach, and when he was finally finished, everyone felt a tad bit better.

Fern dispatched a few of her rogues to fetch Carmelo; he didn't enter the warehouse, but stood just outside, sandwiched between the two rogues in order to keep him upright. Baron was deemed unable to walk him, and ended up in Tubs' jaws, with Fern partially underneath him to support the rest of his body. Swanpaw needed Sage and her uncle for support, but was able to walk, and Spiderpaw snapped at the very idea of them stalling on his account. Flicka didn't lift a paw to stop any of them, and so without further ado, the group of Clan cats and rogues and one ex-city-boss made its way back home.

. . .

Spiderpaw's head was sagging against Sootpaw's shoulder by the time they entered the forest, but the scent of rogues forced him back into alertness. The entire group grew tenser with each pawstep, as the stench grew stronger. The closer they got to camp, the clearer it became that AshClan had indeed been attacked, and Spiderpaw's stomach rolled with nerves as he caught the sharp tang of blood.

Frostfeather and Petalcloud were the first to enter, just to be safe; they immediately turned back and gave the nod of approval for the others to follow. Sootpaw helped Spiderpaw wiggle through the camp entrance, and he stared with surprise and fear at the scene before them.

There were at least a dozen rogue bodies dotting the camp, although some of them were stained with the marsh's mud. Still other mud-spattered rogues lurked on the edges of camp, licking their wounds and glowering up at Shimmerfrost, who moved from clump to clump with silent efficiency. She turned as they entered, cold eyes splintering for an instant as she took in their ragtag group, before she turned and disappeared into the medicine den.

Petalcloud rushed forwards to a bloody Stormshadow, who dipped his head to lick her between the ears – Spiderpaw wasn't sure if he should be grossed out or happy for her – as Frostfeather looked around wildly for Darkstorm.

From the medicine den appeared Eaglestrike, followed by Ravenwing, who despite her new limp rushed towards her kits with a cry.

"You're back," was all Eaglestrike could say as he and Ravenwing fussed over their daughter and son. "You're back."

Northstar cleared his throat from the back of the ground, and Eaglestrike seemed to remember his duties as a deputy first, father second. With another nuzzle to his daughter, he cleared his throat.

"Fern," he said, looking towards the tabby she-cat, "we cannot thank you and your cats enough. Without them, we would have surely been overwhelmed…a patrol of them scented the rogues before they reached our territory, and although they could not warn us in time, they were still able to gather enough of their own to help us chase them off. Were it not for them, AshClan would have been lost."

"And PeakClan would have been next," Ravenwing added, with a glance in Northstar's direction.

Fern nodded stiffly. "You're welcome, although it seems several of my cats paid for their actions with their lives. We'll need to make sure they are all properly buried. But before that, we could use a bit of first aid."

Eaglestrike's eyes flicked over their dirty bindings, and he nodded again. "Of course, of course. Excuse me." He moved back towards the medicine den, calling for Shimmerfrost, but she had already appeared with a bundle of herbs in her jaws.

"I've been helping out where I can too," Ravenwing mewed by way of explanation, before she too darted into the medicine den.

"Supply's a little low, what with everything that's happened," Eaglestrike said, "but I'm sure we can manage. We've put the worst-wounded cats in the nursery, although there are a few visitors – but we can push them out, I'm sure. This way, this way."

He led them to the nursery, calling down inside, and Darkstorm finally appeared much to his mate's relief. She looked about to bowl him over, and although he was obviously pleased with the attention, he seemed largely unharmed.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he said over and over above her meows. "Robinpaw made sure of that."

"She—what?" Frostfeather drew back, surprised. Then, her eyes widened with alarm. "My kit – is she alright? What happened?"

"She was injured enough to be in the nursery – but Shimmerfrost said she's going to be fine!" he added hastily. "She saved my tail, to be honest. I was back up against the leaders den, trying to protect Natasha and her kits – I know, I know, but it was a heat-of-the-moment thing, my stomach is churning just thinking about it – and Robinpaw attacked one of them from behind, giving me a fighting chance. I carried her out of harm's way after that – she was kind of in and out of things for awhile, but she's okay now – so she'd be okay. She was really amazing, Frostfeather, bad leg and all."

"This is great and all," Fern interrupted, "but you're kind of _in the way._"

"Oh! Sorry, sorry," Darkstorm blustered, ducking to the side, and allowed the injured cats to limp inside. "Wait, is that Carmelo?"

"Is it?" Eaglestrike asked with surprise. "What…how…?"

"Long story. Tell you later." Fern's patience was obviously wearing thin underneath Baron's weight, and Eaglestrike blinked, nodding and backing away.

Spiderpaw flopped with a grateful sigh on the ground, next to Robinpaw, who mumbled something in her sleep as he accidentally jarred her bad leg. It seemed like half of her was wrapped up in cobwebs, but her expression was peaceful as she slept on, blissfully unaware of the hodgepodge surrounding her.

Shimmerfrost and Ravenwing saw to the lot of them, taking off Sage's bindings with care and putting on new ones. Sage hovered over them the entire time, making nervous comments and apologies for his sloppy work despite Ravenwing's assurances that he had done perfectly fine. He seemed about to pass out when they took off Swanpaw's bandage, as though she would bleed to death before his eyes, which was enough for Shimmerfrost to finally banish him from the nursery.

Sootpaw was exiled too, as most of her injuries were relatively minor; she gave Spiderpaw a parting lick and Rook a nuzzle before ducking out. Spiderpaw eyed Rook with suspicion, wondering just where he had come from and how he and Sootpaw had gotten to be such good friends, but there was no time to ask with his mother fussing over him.

Finally, the two she-cats were satisfied with their work. They did their best to shoo out the cats with lesser injuries, but Fern refused to budge from her spot beside Baron, and Frostfeather forced her way back in to curl up around her daughter, with Darkstorm sitting just outside. Too tired to continue the fight, Shimmerfrost only left with a huff, and Ravenwing followed.

Spiderpaw rested his head on his paws, head spinning – although he wasn't sure if it was from the day's events, or just the poppy seed he'd been given. _We did it, _was all he could think, over and over, as he replayed everything in his head. _We did it. We beat Maggot. The Clan survived. Sootpaw and the others made it home. We did it. _

When he did finally pass out, it was with a smile on his face.

**AN: Just a few more! Like three, maybe, including the epilogue. We'll just have to see how things turn out.**

**Big important blog posts tomorrow: namely, what's going to happen after Chilled (the answer: lots, but not here). It'll be in a separate post from the usual review-answers and stuff. Srsly, keep an eye out. Stuff's important, yo. If you've forgotten, the link is still on my profile.**

**Keep in mind I'm not sure just what time the blog posts will be, since tomorrow (well, technically it's today, since it's 4am :P) is my birthday, and I might be a wee bit busy. Just check in the evening, I guess, provided I haven't forgotten. xD**

**Ciao, ducklings!**


	73. C h a p t e r 72

**AN: Your concern for Blackfeather was cute.**

**C**_**hapter **_**72**

She had wanted to visit Spiderpaw that morning, but had quickly discovered that the nursery was absolutely packed with cats, since both PeakClan's wounded and the rogues had stayed the night, as it had already been rather late when the group had returned. Not wanting to try and squeeze or push her way in, she had instead retreated, curling up on the edge of camp to wait until some of them had left.

It would be soon; Northstar had gone back to camp that morning to report to Stonestar all that had happened, and Fern's rogues were already growing restless. Despite the forest's bounty, they had grown used to the soft mud and tall reeds of their own territory, and were eager to return.

Sootpaw's ears pricked as she spotted movement in the entrance of camp, and she couldn't help but stiffen slightly as Stonestar appeared. He seemed far older than she remembered, with his haggard face and unkempt coat, but there was the smallest glimmer of hope in his eyes as he paused, waiting for the other warriors to join him. Northstar came to stand beside his leader, and Sootpaw gave him a smile, remembering how he had helped push her forward in her training. He didn't return it, but gave her a nod, and that was good enough for her.

Eaglestrike strode forwards to meet the PeakClan cats, and she was heartened to see that he was actually smiling. The worst was over for the Clans, with both Maggot and Carmelo behind them, and the sickness on its way to being beaten. Cats would stop dying, and be able to start living again.

"Thank you for taking care of our wounded," Stonestar rumbled. "PeakClan deeply appreciates this, more than we can express."

"It was no trouble," Eaglestrike answered. "In times of crisis, Clans must stand together. That's how it's always been, and should be."

Stonestar nodded, and the warriors waited for the PeakClan cats to appear.

It took a few moments, but appear they did; Goldenshine and Hawktalon exited the den first, followed by Brackenpaw rather quickly. The golden apprentice moved immediately towards his father; Sootpaw was surprised to see Northstar bend down to brush his tongue between his son's ears.

_I guess now that the uncertainty is over, he can be a father first and a deputy second, _she thought, faintly amused as Northstar jerked his head up quickly as if to preserve his tough-guy image, although no one else was watching him.

"Where's Swanpaw?" one of the warriors asked anxiously. "You said she was injured?"

Sootpaw looked back to the nursery, and felt a prickle of sympathy as she saw the apprentice in question limp out, leaning on Sage as she went. Her throat was heavily bandaged, but her blue eyes glittered with the spirit that the journeying cats had come to know – and resent, on occasion – so well. Those same eyes widened as she laid eyes on the tom who had voiced his concerns – Volewhisker, her father – and she immediately rushed forwards, leaving Sage behind to bury her face in her father's ginger fur, trembling with relief and happiness. Volewhisker immediately began licking her just as Eaglestrike and Ravenwing had with their kits, whispering things in her ear as he went.

_With her family at last, _Sootpaw thought, before looking to Sage again, seeing his pained expression. _Poor Sage. He's really going to miss her. _

"Thank you," Stonestar said again. "Northstar said the cats from Twolegplace are coming here in two days?"

"That's correct. We have to figure out what to do about Twolegplace now that we've toppled all three of its leaders," Eaglestrike answered. "We obviously can't ignore them and hope they'll just mind their own business; that's failed twice before."

Stonestar let out a sound of agreement. "Hopefully we can get the matter settled once and for all, although I doubt it will be that simple. You're keeping Carmelo here, until then?"

Eaglestrike nodded. "We thought it would be wisest to keep an eye on his condition – and make sure he stays out of trouble until we've made our decision on what to do."

Stonestar only shrugged. "So long as he does not get away. Northstar and I will be back in two days' time. Until then." He gave Eaglestrike a respectful dip of his head, before turning away and flicking his tail towards the others, who began to follow. Only Swanpaw turned back, taking a few clumsy steps towards Sage, who hurried to meet her. They touched noses, but this time it was Sage who pulled away, a sad smile on his face.

"Go see your mother, and your brother," he urged her.

"You'll put in a word with Snowpaw for me?" she asked, blinking up at him, and his smile grew a touch wider.

"Of course," he promised, before taking another step back. "Goodbye, Swanpaw."

"See you soon," the apprentice replied firmly, before turning back to her father, who gave her another nuzzle before helping her out of the camp's entrance. Sage stood still, looking forlorn.

Sootpaw watched the PeakClan cats disappeared, before glancing back at Sage, motioning for him to come sit with her. Neither of them spoke; they only sat together, seeking comfort in the silence.

. . .

The marsh cats came for their wounded later in the day; Baron still wasn't well enough to walk on his own, and was thus carried by Tubs and another rogue. Tubs seemed to enjoy being useful, as a smile curled his muzzle the entire way, and he gave her a jaunty smile, which she found herself returning. It was remarkable how much he had changed since their first meeting, and she was glad of it; he had found that his place was chasing after marsh birds, rather than kittypet treats.

"Tell Spiderpaw to come by some time, and see Faint's kits!" he called to her, before heading out of camp.

"We'll be back for the meeting," Fern told Eaglestrike. "I trust you to keep an eye on Carmelo, and protect him."

"After all of this, I doubt he's the one who needs protecting," was Eaglestrike's amused reply, "but I assure you, we will watch him."

Fern meowed her assent, before following her cats. Immediately, Sootpaw rose to her feet.

"I'm going to see Spiderpaw, if that's alright," she mewed to Sage. He gave a quiet sigh, then nodded.

"I suppose I should tell Eaglestrike I'll be leaving soon; you all don't need me here now, and I need to be on my way to tell everyone back home about the cure," he said. "I have to ask for some foxglove seeds, too."

"I'm sure you'll get them," Sootpaw meowed, giving his ear a nuzzle before she grabbed a mouse from the slim fresh-kill pile and headed towards the nursery. Before she entered, Rook and Nightingale squeezed out, giving her smiles as they went. She meowed a greeting through her mouse, before ducking inside, only to stop dead at the sight before her.

Blackfeather was in the nursery – she must have entered that morning, well before Sootpaw was awake – and curled tightly around Spiderpaw, so as to conserve space, although that was hardly necessary now that the den was almost empty, save for the few AshClan cats that had been injured enough to require Shimmerfrost's special care and attention.

"Oh! Sootpaw!" the black warrior exclaimed as soon as Sootpaw entered, and immediately scrambled to her paws, looking flustered. "Uh, hi! Long time no see."

Sootpaw only looked between her and Spiderpaw, unable to reconcile this closeness with the apprentice that Spiderpaw had trounced so thoroughly during her assessment. "Er, yeah. Looks like it has been awhile."

Spiderpaw was, to her surprise, embarrassed; he didn't quite meet her eyes as he mumbled his hello, and almost jumped when she dropped her mouse at his paws.

"I'll just be on my way," Blackfeather said quietly, but Sootpaw regained her composure and shook her head.

"No, no, it's okay. I didn't mean to interrupt. I just thought Spiderpaw would be hungry, and that we could catch up…but I'm sure you know just as much interesting news as he does." She smiled, and after a moment's hesitation, the sleek warrior smiled shyly back, and moved to lie down beside Spiderpaw again.

Choosing not to comment on their pelts pressing against each other, Sootpaw instead interrogated the two dark cats about the goings-on of the Clan while she had been gone. They told the story together, filling in details the other missed or forgot, creating a story that was amazing to Sootpaw's ears despite everything she had seen. The Clan had endured just as many hardships as the journeying cats, if not more, and had lost a few of their own. Her heart sank into her paws at the mentions of Jaypaw's and Birchpool's deaths.

"Poor Robinpaw," she whispered, shooting the sleeping apprentice a sympathetic glance. "She must miss him terribly. It's hard to believe he's gone. When he left us, he was fine, just a little under the weather…."

_It was only a little cough, _she remembered Bluepaw saying, and couldn't help but feel a mixture of grief and anger. Bluepaw had known the cure all along, had known she was putting Jaypaw at risk, and yet she had withheld that knowledge, and because of her actions, Robinpaw had lost her brother, and Frostfeather had lost her son.

"He died nobly," Blackfeather said, sorrow in her own voice. "He gave up his portions of the snowberry plant for Silverstar."

"Why, though?" Sootpaw asked. "That's why I don't understand. Of course she's important – she's our leader! – but she has five lives left. Jaypaw only had one. Why would he give it up?"

The two black cats exchanged glances, as if they were withholding something, and Sootpaw's eyes narrowed as she wondered what she was missing.

_Why would Silverstar accept it, more importantly? _she wondered. _According to what they've told me, she actually didn't take the snowberries at first, did she? She wanted to save them for those that needed them. So what must have changed, to make her willing to take Jaypaw's snowberries, knowing the risk it would pose to him? Surely she wouldn't do such a thing for herself…._

_What if it happens again? _she remembered Silverstar asking Forestheart during their midnight excursion. She knew now that Silverstar had been talking about her first litter, how she had lost them when Chillpaw had attacked her. Intuition struck her then, and her eyes widened.

"Is Silverstar with kits?" she blurted, before glancing over her shoulder to make sure the others were asleep.

Spiderpaw's jaw dropped, and Blackfeather looked down at him quizzically.

"I didn't tell her!" he protested to the black she-cat. "Swear I didn't. I've been keeping this secret for a _moon _and she just goes and—"

"So it's true?" Sootpaw whispered. "She's really…?"

Blackfeather nodded, her expression grave. "We think she's hiding it so the Clan doesn't worry – and so the Clan won't know if she miscarries again. I can't imagine something like that happening to me, let alone knowing the rest of the Clan was aware of it."

"They say she isn't taking the foxglove, and we assume that's why," Spiderpaw continued. "It might be dangerous for them."

"But if she doesn't take the foxglove, she won't get better," Sootpaw said. "She'll just get worse and worse, and lose another life…what are they going to do when that happens and she loses the kits anyway?"

"My bet is that they'll try to get her to kit early," Blackfeather said. "There are certain herbs that can do the trick; they might just be trying to give the kits as much time as they can before they have to try and nudge them out. That might cost Silverstar a life in itself, but at least the kits would have a chance…and if she lost a life while they were this far along, the resulting miscarriage would be far more dangerous than induced kitting, I think."

Sootpaw shivered at the thought, feeling a mixture of fear and sympathy for their leader. She was in a horrible position, and it seemed likely she would lose at least a life no matter what she did.

_Please don't let her lose this litter too, _she prayed. _I can't begin to imagine what that would do to her. And the Clan's weathered so much death already…it would be nice for us to finally have some sort of happy ending. _

That made her think of Rook for a brief moment, but then her thoughts turned to the journeying, and those who were absent.

"Poor Thistlethorn," she said quietly. "His mother was gone for half the journey, but none of us knew it, and he still has no idea. He'll be looking for her when he gets back, and she'll be gone…."

Spiderpaw's ears flattened. "Yeah. She did give me a message for him, though."

Sootpaw's ears pricked with interest, but Spiderpaw was barely paying attention to her, his green eyes distant as he remembered. "I was there when she woke up, after her injury. She begged me to listen to her. She remembered something, some part of their past, and she wanted me to let him know."

Sootpaw went stiff, remembering the look in Bullet's eyes as he asserted his mate was dead. But perhaps that had not been true; perhaps he had been mistaken, and there was still some part of Brightflash tucked away in Birchpool's addled mind. "S-she remembered something?"

Spiderpaw nodded. "Thistlethorn's name. She remembered why they called him Thistle, and she wanted me to tell him that she could at least recall that much – that she _knew _him, knew that he was her son beyond just what she'd been told. She loved him a great deal."

"Something wrong?" Blackfeather asked, blinking at Sootpaw, but the gray apprentice only shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

_Bullet was_ _wrong. Brightflash was still there, just trapped_. _Some part of her remained inside of Birchpool, and it managed to find its way out before she died…isn't it possible, then, that Chillpaw could…?_

"I have to go," she blurted. "Thank you for telling me everything, truly. I just…I need to talk to someone."

She turned away, rushing out of the nursery and blinking in the sunlight before she managed to find Rook's dark pelt lying beside Nightingale as the two of them shared a meal. Without a thought, she hurried towards them; both turned to greet her with a smile, but their smiles faded as they saw her expression.

"What's wrong?" Rook asked, but Sootpaw only shook her head, looking to Nightingale instead.

"Would you mind if Rook and I talked in private?" she asked. Nightingale blinked, before giving a shake of her head, springing to her paws and giving Rook a quick sign goodbye before trotting away. Sootpaw blinked after her gratefully, before sitting down in front of Rook, unable to bring herself to lie down completely. She was on edge, every part of her humming with hope and confusion.

"What's wrong?" he asked again, and the story of Birchpool tumbled out of her. He listened with a bemused expression, and she could see he was not heading towards the same conclusion as she had.

"Don't you see what it means?" she finally demanded, exasperated. "Bullet was adamant that Brightflash was dead, that no part of her remained. But he was _wrong, _and if he was wrong, isn't it possible that we were wrong about Chillpaw too? That his old self might still be present when he comes back? That he might remember _me _and everything that we were, and—"

Her voice broke, and Rook sat up, resting his thick tail on her flank. She wanted to lean against him, wanting to give into her trembling weakness, but only looked up at him instead, hoping, praying that he would agree, that her Chillpaw would come back to her after all and things could be just as they were before.

But to her sorrow, Rook gave a small, slow shake of his head. "I don't think that's gonna happen, Sootpaw. I know you want to believe they're the same, but they ain't. From what I understand, Brightflash _did _die when she was hit by that car – but she dint disappear, because you cats have an afterlife, don't ya? You have StarClan."

"She didn't believe in StarClan," Sootpaw said weakly, but knew it wasn't quite true; the cats that Brightflash and Reedrush had hailed from, the Kalan, had some connection to StarClan.

"She had _something_," Rook insisted, "and even when she died, she was still _around_. The fact that Birchpool remembered somethin' is proof of that. But it's just not the same with Chillpaw. If what he told you is true, he was wiped clean. There's no lingering part of him out there. He's gone, Sootpaw."

A wave of grief rushed over her, just as sharp and cold as it had been that first time, and she was forced to give into her weakness, leaning against him and burying her face in his thick fur.

"He's gone," Rook said again, very softly, "but that's okay, don't you see? It's what he wanted, it's what he chose. Don't you think he deserves a fresh start, another shot, a chance to turn his back on all the mistakes he made before? Don't you think he should be able to begin again, even if it means he doesn't get to keep you? He turned over a new leaf, and sometimes when you do that you have to leave the good with the bad, in order to move on. That's what you've gotta do, too."

She had known it was a long shot, known it was foolish to even hope, but she couldn't help it any more than she could help that her heart was beating.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled into his fur. "I've dumped all of this on your shoulders, and just expected you to help me out, even though you didn't have to…even though you _don't _have to. And you've been so kind and warm throughout everything, even when I yelled at you…."

He didn't say anything, but he bent down and licked her ear, sending confusing prickles of warmth running through her pelt, mixing with the grief swirling inside of her. "I don't mind. I'll be here as long as you need me, just like I promised."

He let her press against him a moment longer, before he gently pulled away, giving her a firm look. "It sounds like your brother's told you a lot of what happened while you were gone. What have you told _him?_"

She knew what he was alluding to, and her ears flattened. "Nothing," she admitted, glancing down towards her paws to avoid his sharp eyes. "It's just…not the right time. Not yet. I mean, I only just now got home, and I just…I want to pretend things are the same a little bit longer."

"You have to tell them before you leave, you know," he said, and she nodded.

"I will, I promise. I just have to figure out the right moment, that's all. I'll know it when it happens."

She was relieved when he shrugged. "Do whatcha think is best. Trust yer judgment. But the sooner the better, I think."

She only nodded again, still not quite meeting his eyes, struggling with the doubts that coiled around her like snakes.

"Do you think I'm running away?" she blurted, glancing up at him. His brow furrowed with confusion.

"Running from what?"

"From everything." She gave a helpless shrug. "From the Clan, from my family, from Chillpaw…because if he does come back, it'll be here. This is the only place that makes sense for his spirit to go, isn't it? And if he does come back, and he really is gone, I don't think I could bear it….There's just too much here, too many memories, too many lies, and as soon as I tell everyone the truth, they'll all rise up and consume anything, and…it feels like going to the mountains is my only escape. Is that cowardly? Should I stay here, try to tough it out?"

There was sympathy in his green eyes, but uncertainty too, and she remembered that he really knew no more than she did, in the grand scheme of things. He and Nightingale were older than she was, and had seen more things, but that did not grant him any deep wisdom or cutting insights. He was just another cat, like she was, and she was piling everything onto him and hoping he could withstand the weight.

"I don't know," was his eventual answer. "It seems like you might be runnin' away just a little. But is that really a bad thing? You want to find out stuff about your blood parents, where you came from. Any cat would want that. And any cat would want to escape from the changes that are gonna happen, when it all gets out. That's natural, an' I don't think there's anythin' wrong that. Everyone has to be a lil weak now and then. Sometimes you have to bend, or else you'll break.

"But yer plans aren't set in stone. There's no telling what you might do, after you've been in the mountains for awhile. You might stay there, or you might come back. You have to find that answer for yerself. I can't help you there. But you don't have to worry about it, not yet. You can make that decision when yer ready, and not a moment before. Does that make sense?"

He blinked at her hopefully, and she found herself nodding, while also marveling at how he seemed to be able to put things in perspective so easily. She overthought things – she always had, even as a kit – but there as a directness to Rook that was refreshing when compared to her own jumbled thoughts.

"It does," she said, then took a deep, steeling breath. "Thank you, again. I don't know what I would do without you, Rook."

"Be lyin' in a stream, I bet," he purred, eyes twinkling. "It's no problem. Yer brother's prolly wonderin' where you are, though, with how fast you ran outta there. You should get back to him."

"You just want to get back to eating," she teased, flicking her tail towards the fresh-kill he and Nightingale had been sharing, and he snorted.

"Perish the thought," he meowed, but his stomach gurgled quietly, and Sootpaw found herself giggling, although her heart was still heavy. She rose to her paws, then hesitated, before reaching up to touch his nose with her own, holding the contact for a moment before pulling away.

"Thank you," she said a third time, enjoying his surprised look as much as the warmth creeping over her fur.

"You're very welcome," he replied, voice slightly husky, and she headed back to the nursery.

. . .

She meant to tell Spiderpaw that day, she really did. But he kept distracting her with various stories and tales, little details about Clan life here and there that he had forgotten earlier, and before she knew it, the moon was rising in the sky and Shimmerfrost was shooing everyone out so she could tend to her patients once more before they fell asleep. The next day passed much the same way, and the next, and then Flicka arrived.

The entire Clan was on edge; their camp had been chosen as the meeting place, so that the discussion would not be in secret. This was more than a conversation between leaders behind closed doors; what they decided might shape the future of the Clan for moons or years to come, and every cat wanted to watch. Sootpaw sat down next to her brother and Blackfeather, with Rook and Nightingale on her other side, looking on with interest.

Fern appeared first, with only Tubs and one other rogue to act as her guards; Stonestar and Northstar came soon after. Stonestar's fur had finally been groomed, and his yellow eyes were bright as he joined Eaglestrike and Fern in the center of camp.

When Flicka finally arrived, she brought several rogues with her, one of whom was nearly tackled to the ground by Natasha, who raced joyfully from the leader's den to meet him. Sootpaw had never seen him before, but knew him to be Mitch, her mate; it seemed he had survived the attack on the city cats' nursery after all.

Another of the rogues – a young, wiry brown tom – was greeted by Tubs with a smile and a hearty purr. Sootpaw guessed he was Riley, the cat who had helped gather intelligence for them on Tubs' behalf.

Flicka walked stiffly to the center of camp, her eyes narrowed as she sized up the other cats, her flecked tail flicking from side to side as if she was expecting them to attack.

"Always so wound up," came Carmelo's smooth voice from the nursery as the golden tom padded out; he was looking better as well, as Shimmerfrost had gotten a handle on his fever before it became life-threatening, thanks to Sage's earlier care. "If they were going to hurt you, they would have done it earlier, don't you think?"

Sootpaw was surprised that he was being included in the negotiations, but she supposed it made sense; he certainly still had a powerbase in the city, despite Maggot's usurping, and the cats therein would object if he was not involved in whatever decision was reached. Sage had also joined the group, as the only representative for the mountains.

Eaglestrike waited until everyone was settled, before turning his sharp yellow eyes onto Flicka.

"From what we have heard, you supported Maggot in his endeavors," he said. Flicka's shoulder ruff bristled, but Eaglestrike held up his tail for her to be silent. "However, we understand that you had little choice, as dangerous as he was. Trying to fight or betray him would have only fractured Twolegplace even more, and would have solved nothing. You did what you had to, nothing more and nothing less."

She seemed surprised at the consideration, and gave Carmelo a suspicious glance, but nodded. "I hold no enmity towards the Clans. My only concern was gathering more territory for the cats within the city. It's extremely overcrowded, and food is becoming scarce, especially with leafbare and the snow. Carmelo was a better leader for the city than Maggot was, but I had no choice but to side with him."

"We know of the city's concerns," Eaglestrike meowed. "Fern has informed us of the hardships within the territory, and the rising desperation of those within. It has become clear that we cannot ignore these problems and hope that they go away, not without being impacted farther down the line…especially since we are partially to blame." He looked to Stonestar. "Carmelo has said that Maggot's family and many other rogues used to live in this area, but were driven out or killed when PeakClan moved in."

Stonestar nodded. "It is true, as far as I know. It was before my time, but I know our Clan has a tendency to be hostile towards rogues even to this day."

_That's an understatement, _Sootpaw thought, amused as she remembered the stories of how AshClan had been forced to win their territory through trickery and cleverness in order to avoid a full-out battle with PeakClan.

"I think we've already taken a step in the right direction, with letting the Colony in the marsh remain," Eaglestrike went on, "but more needs to be done. Fern told us about your Colonies, Carmelo: the idea is to create stable populations of cats outside of Twolegplace, to help funnel outwards movement, yes?"

Carmelo dipped his head. "Indeed. And it has worked quite well so far, I think. The marsh Colony has been more successful than I dared hope, and during my little jaunt in the woods, I found several other territories that would be useful for such ventures, if there was someone to set them up."

"That's the crux of the matter," Flicka said bluntly. "We need to know who is going to be in charge of the city."

"I do not think it is wise to place Twolegplace squarely in any one cat's paws," Eaglestrike replied. "We have already seen how that has failed; making any one cat so powerful is dangerous, and leads to conflict. Rather, I think separating it might be wiser, and I think there should also be meetings once a moon or so, wherein we can all discuss the progress we're making." He glanced around the group. "This would include at least one cat from every group present, even the mountains, since I believe they will be especially helpful in taking on some of the city's cats. The forest and mountains once supported four Clans, after all."

Stonestar and Northstar both shifted slightly at that, but neither spoke; Sage only appeared thoughtful, content to listen before passing judgment.

Flicka's eyes narrowed. "Who from the city would be in charge, then, and take part in these meetings?"

"You and Carmelo both have strong supporters in Twolegplace. It would be foolish to overlook that, and I think you would both do fine ruling smaller parts of the city," Eaglestrike said, causing the others to prick up with surprise.

"You can't honestly think that's a good idea," Stonestar protested. "Carmelo was planning the downfall of the Clans just as Maggot was, and if he rises to power again—"

"My aim was never to destroy them," Carmelo interrupted, "only weaken them so I might be able to exert influence over them. That hasn't happened, obviously, and I have no reason to try and do so again. Honestly, I owe the Clans and mountain cats a debt. Were it not for that fellow, I'd be dead." He gave Sage a flick of his ear. "The Clan cats could have killed me as well, or left me to be disposed of by Flicka, but they did not, and for that, I am grateful, and more than willing to go along with whatever plans you devise. It might be hard to believe, but I found my time roaming the wilderness looking for fertile territory far more fulfilling than my time ruling the city. If more Colonies are to be made, I would very much like to be a part of the proceedings."

Stonestar still seemed disgruntled, but Fern was nodding.

"He knows more about the planning of Colonies than anyone, and has seen more territory than any of us…and the city did well in his paws. He did not neglect the young, old, or infirm, and that is something that both Cane and Amber's leadership lacked. I think he means what he says."

Carmelo gave her a quiet purr, but she barely spared him a glance, looking to Eaglestrike instead.

Flicka's tail was tightly curled around her paws, and her expression was difficult to read, but Sootpaw was willing to bet that things were going better for her than she had expected, if she would be allowed to rule a portion of the city herself.

"Natasha and Mitch also have a strong position in Twolegplace," Eaglestrike said, looking to the two rogues, both of whom seemed surprised. "You're both well-known and well-liked, and have access to plenty of information. I know neither of you are interested in playing politics, and that is exactly why we need you. I think you two would do well with your own portion of the city."

Mitch's eyes were wide, but after glancing down to Natasha, he nodded. "We're willin' to do whatever makes the city safer for our kits."

"I'm sure there are other suitable cats that we haven't heard of yet," Eaglestrike said, looking back to Fern. She frowned, thinking, then nodded.

"I know a few. I'll reach out to them, and see if they're interested. We can meet again to weed through them."

"So, we're just splitting up Twolegplace and working on moving the cats inside to other territories?" Fern asked. "Who will be the cats that meet with the city leaders?"

"Ambassadors is the word you're looking for," Carmelo said quietly.

"Each group will appoint their own individually, I think, although we should make sure they're the right cat for the job," Eaglestrike answered.

"Perhaps there should be two," Stonestar suggested, and Eaglestrike nodded.

"It would be wise to have multiple opinions, I think. And they will need to have some experience and understanding of how Twolegplace works – and that rogues are not necessarily our enemies."

Stonestar twitched his nose at that, and Sootpaw wondered if such cats would be difficult to find within PeakClan's ranks.

_Rabbitleap, Brackenpaw, and Swanpaw don't hate rogues, at least, _she thought. _I think any one of them would do fine. Rabbitleap's compassionate ad smarter than she appears, Brackenpaw is strong and courageous, and Swanpaw's sharp tongue will keep them all honest. _

"I think Tubs will do for one of ours," Fern said, and the big tom shifted as his name was mentioned. "_Somehow _city cats can actually put up with him, he has connections, and he's not _quite _as lazy and sluggish as he was when he first came to us."

The heavyset tom purred quietly. "I'll do my best, you have my word." Riley nudged him, grinning.

"I'll have to go back to camp and think about the other," she said, and Stonestar indicated that he would need to do the same.

"There's no real rush," Eaglestrike said. "We could meet again after the Gathering, with the cats we've chosen, if that works for everyone?"

The others murmured their assent. Only Sage appeared to have some misgivings.

"I honestly have no idea what Tremor will say about all of this," he warned. "There is plenty of room in our territory, but he might be mistrustful of those who were underneath Maggot…and it is a bit of a walk for us, if we send ambassadors. I would be more than willing to take part, of course, but…."

"We hold our Gatherings at the full moon," Stonestar said. "If our next meeting is on the half moon after that, it should give you plenty of time to inform Tremor of what has happened, and allow him to make his own decision."

Sage dipped his head. "I was planning on leaving soon anyway, so that should work out."

"Things will be turbulent in Twolegplace until that time, I expect," Eaglestrike said. "It would be a good time for you to assert yourself, Mitch, and explain what is happening. Flicka should do so as well. Carmelo will be staying with us for another day or so to make sure his fever does not return, and then we will let him go as well. Is there anything else we need to speak of?"

The others shook their heads, and so the group split apart, the groups leaving one after the other. Natasha and Mitch parted reluctantly; the she-cat was adamant that her kits would remain in camp, where it was safest, and they still relied on her milk, so she had to stay behind while her mate went back to the city. Carmelo returned to the nursery with a yawn, and Eaglestrike rose to his paws.

"There's no reason for me to call your attention, I assume," he said to the Clan with a trace of amusement. "The decision we made may seem strange, but it is only an experiment; we really have no other option, since the traditional methods within Twolegplace have already failed several times over. Allowing large-scale bosses to exist without supervision is dangerous, and the danger will only increase as Twolegplace continues to grow. And, although I hate to admit it, a few of Carmelo's ideas did have merit – the ones that didn't include murdering me, at least.

"There is, however, something else that needs to be settled. As you all know, Leopardpaw confessed before to being a traitor, and is our prisoner. However, with Maggot dead, that status needs to change." He looked towards the nursery, and Sootpaw saw the gleam of Leopardpaw's green eyes from where she had been listening in on the proceedings, with Fireblaze's amber pair at her side.

Slowly, the dappled apprentice emerged, her chin held high despite her uncertainty. Fireblaze stood behind her, pelt bristling as if he was daring anyone to hurt her.

"Leopardpaw, you came to us under false pretenses, with the intent of following Carmelo's plot to seize the Clan," Eaglestrike meowed. "You infiltrated our ranks and fed our enemies information, while plotting to bring me down."

Leopardpaw didn't speak, only nodding; her twitching tail gave away her anxiety. Eaglestrike held her with his firm gaze a moment longer, before he smiled.

"However, you also saved Fireblaze's life, and confessed yourself to us rather than being found out, knowing that it might very well cost you your life. You fought Maggot alongside us, and if what Spiderpaw said is true, it is you who ended his life. I do not believe you are a threat to the Clan, despite your past. Rather, I would like to give you a second chance, and allow you to remain here, as a member of AshClan."

Leopardpaw's eyes widened; whatever she had been preparing for, it was not this. She remained silent, only staring at Eaglestrike, until he prompted her, "Will you stay, as an apprentice of AshClan?"

"Y-yes," she finally stammered. "Yes. I will. I'm…I won't…thank you."

Beside her, she heard Spiderpaw purr, although whether it was with pleasure that Leopardpaw was finally being trusted, or his amusement at her being lost for words, Sootpaw wasn't sure.

Eaglestrike dipped his head to her, before turning towards the medicine den; Fireblaze came to stand next to her, pressing his pelt against hers, and Spiderpaw sprang to his paws to congratulate her, followed by Petalcloud and Frostfeather. Despite the uncertainty around the decision of what to do about the city, the Clan was definitely in favor of Leopardpaw remaining with them, which was enough to bring a smile to Sootpaw's face. She had no doubt the dappled apprentice would put her second chance to good use, if the pride and happiness on her face was anything to go by.

. . .

Sage left the next day, promising that he would be back after the Gathering, and Carmelo took his leave the day after that, with more smooth thank-yous to Eaglestrike and the rest of the Clan. Sootpaw was glad to see him go – his scent still messed with her head, and his voice remained just a bit _too _honeyed for her liking – but found she wasn't worried about what he might do in the city. For better or worse, he was a cat that was born to lead, and he was in their debt. She hoped it would be enough to keep him out of trouble, for all of their sakes.

Still she did not tell her family the truth, despite Rook's little nudges here and there. Several opportunities presented themselves, but she let them slide by, clinging desperately to the illusion that nothing had changed and the temporary calm that had swept up the Clan. She knew her family would still love her no matter whose blood ran through her veins, but despite that knowledge and Rook's support, she was still terrified of the changes that would occur afterwards.

And then, Silverstar began kitting.

There was no announcement to the Clan, no news, but everyone knew something was wrong; Robinpaw had seen Shimmerfrost rush out of the den around sunhigh to fetch Eaglestrike, and the deputy had not appeared again after disappearing into her den. Rumors abounded, but the common guess was that Silverstar was growing sicker, having not been taking the foxglove, and would soon lose another life.

Blackfeather, Spiderpaw, and Sootpaw had another, very different guess: Silverstar had started kitting a bit early, prompted by Shimmerfrost and her herbs, in hopes that the litter would survive. The kits' chances were certainly better in an early delivery than they were if things were allowed to run their course, for it was very likely that Silverstar would lose another life to the chilling disease before she gave birth, in which case the entire litter would perish.

The three of them said nothing, of course, not wanting to give Silverstar's litter away; if the kits were lost, it was Silverstar and Forestheart's business, not the Clan. But they grew increasingly worried, as the hours ticked by and neither Eaglestrike nor Shimmerfrost appeared.

_Please, please, please, _Sootpaw prayed, _don't let her lose these kits. Not after everything she's been through. She's earned her happy ending a dozen times over; just let her have it, won't you?_

Finally, as the sun kissed the horizon, Eaglestrike appeared. His yellow eyes were tired as they swept over the Clan, taking in that everyone was present and waiting anxiously.

"My Clan," he began, his voice slow and careful, "I must confess that Silverstar and I have been hiding something from you. For almost the last two moons, she has been with kits."

Surprise rippled through the ranks; Sootpaw did her best to mirror their wide eyes and confused expressions.

"Shimmerfrost did not see the signs until it was in the later stages, because of everything else that has been going on," the deputy continued, "and thus there was nothing we could do but hope Silverstar would have the strength to pull through. We did not want to alarm the Clan. Now, however, we cannot keep it a secret any longer." He paused. "It would be very difficult to hide three healthy kits from you."

His eyes twinkled then, and Sootpaw felt a surge of joy. Several of the warriors yowled their delight, and Eaglestrike waited for the din to die down before going on.

"Regrettably, a fourth kit did not make it…and I'm afraid Silverstar lost a life, because of her weakened condition, but she does not want us to be unhappy. Jaggedclaw has already shown noticeable improvement from the herbs he has been taking; as such, we can assume that the cure is a success, and now that Silverstar has kitted, she too can take all of the necessary herbs. She should be healthy and ready to lead us again before the moon is over.

"To ensure that there will be no complications – we do not know if the foxglove seeds will be present in her milk, or if the sickness might be passed through it – she wishes to know if Natasha would be willing to nurse them, at least until she is well." He looked towards the rogue, who gave a quick nod, and smiled. "Thank you. We'll give her and Forestheart a bit more time with them before we move them into the leaders den. Later this week, we need to dig out a new nursery; I think the old one functions rather well as extra room for injured cats, but we cannot have kits in Silverstar's den forever. If you wish to volunteer, just let me know, and we'll get that all sorted out."

He looked towards the medicine den again, hardly able to contain his delight, and Sootpaw felt another rush of it with him.

_Three kits, _she thought. _Three healthy, happy, beautiful kits. Thank you, StarClan. It's just what she deserves, after so much strife and heartache._

Something occurred to her then, and she felt a strange mixture of hope and fear. When Eaglestrike finally went back into the medicine den to begin moving the kits, Sootpaw followed.

"I'll help carry one," she said when he gave her a questioning glance, and he purred quietly, nuzzling her ear.

"Promise it'll be awhile before you have kits of your own," he joked, before ducking inside. Her face heated, but she followed, feeling the emotions within her rising as she entered the medicine den.

It took her a moment to locate Silverstar in the dim light; the scent of blood still lingered in the air, sending a chill down her spine, but there was no remaining sign of it in the den. Silverstar's fur was ruffled, but not too untidy; Sootpaw guessed that she and Forestheart had done their best to flatten it once the kitting was over, so she would look presentable for whoever came to see the kits.

Sootpaw's eyes were locked onto Silverstar's face, and her stomach fluttered as she saw the soft serenity of Silverstar's expression despite her lost life, the love that glowed in her eyes as she reached up to lick Forestheart's muzzle. The tabby tom was curled around her, staring down at their kits with wonder, and he seemed to barely notice their visitors.

"Silverstar," Eaglestrike purred, "Natasha agreed to nurse the kits. We're going to move them now, if that's alright. They'll need their first meal."

"Oh," the silver she-cat mewed, sounding almost sorrowful; she bent down to nuzzle the kits that were momentarily concealed by her thick tail. "I suppose they do need it…but I can't bear to be away from them for even a second. They're just so _perfect, _from their little paws to their noses…oh, see for yourself." She uncurled slightly, finally revealing the three balls of fur curled up next to her belly – one light silver, one brown, one startling snow white.

Sootpaw's eyes locked onto the white kit, and she knew it was male before Silverstar even spoke.

"One little boy," she purred, nuzzling the white kit, "and two little girls. We're naming the silver one Palekit, sort of for my father – Fadedkit sounds so dismal, don't you think? – and then the brown one – she has a little bit of white on her throat, can you see it? And the daintiest white paws – will be Maplekit, as a nod towards Forestheart's father. We still don't know what to name the tom; I was thinking Whitekit, for my mother, before Shimmerfrost told us it was a male, but that doesn't feel quite right now. But we'll think of something."

She gave them each a tender lick, and Eaglestrike continued to purr.

"They're beautiful, Silverstar, truly. Little miracles, every one."

Silverstar nodded again, before sighing. "They do have to go, though. Shimmerfrost says they shouldn't get sick from just being in the medicine den, but I don't want to take any chances, and they're definitely hungry. She said the sickness might pass through my milk, so I haven't let them drink yet, but they do keep trying."

She seemed to notice Sootpaw for the first time, and gave the apprentice a smile. "It's good to have you back in camp, Sootpaw. You've grown so much since I last saw you. Your father is very proud of you, you know."

Sootpaw could barely speak through the lump in her throat; she forced herself to tear her gaze away from the white kit. "I know," she mumbled, but Silverstar didn't seem to be listening, as she looked back down to her kits.

Eaglestrike stepped forwards, taking the silver kit. Sootpaw moved forward for the white one, but couldn't quite bring herself to do it, picking up Maplekit instead. She was all too eager to leave the medicine den and follow her father to the leaders den, where Natasha was waiting with her two sons and little Ivy.

Sootpaw set Maplekit down very carefully next to Natasha's stomach; sure enough, both kits wiggled forwards and began nursing, hardly noticing Ivy at all. Natasha's eyes softened as she looked down at them.

"They're lovely," she mewed. "Silverstar must be so proud."

Eaglestrike nodded. "I think she's in a daze from it all, really, but I couldn't be happier for her. There's one more, though. Do you mind getting him, Sootpaw? I need to ask Natasha something."

She shook her head despite the stone in her belly, and turned back, padding to the medicine den, feeling her stomach churn.

Silverstar gave her another smile as she entered, but it faded as she saw Sootpaw's expression. "What's the matter? Did they not want to nurse?"

Sootpaw could only stare down at the white kit. It was _him, _it was Chillpaw without a doubt. She couldn't explain how she knew, could only feel the tugging in her heart, the certainty that only grew stronger the longer she looked. It was him. He had made it, had gotten his second chance, and she knew what when he opened his clear blue eyes and saw her for the first time, he would not recognize her at all.

"I…." She swallowed. "I have something I need to tell you, after I take him to Natasha. You and Forestheart and Shimmerfrost."

Silverstar blinked, but she nodded, seeming to sense it's importance. "Alright, that's fine. Thank you for helping, Sootpaw."

Sootpaw ducked her head, taking the white kit gently in her jaws. She felt him shift, heard him let out a tiny mewl, and her heart melted.

She placed him next to his sisters at Natasha's belly, watching him begin to nurse before she finally forced herself to turn away and return to Silverstar, who was waiting with heavy-lidded interest. The leader was exhausted, but determined to hang on for whatever Sootpaw had to say.

Shimmerfrost was sorting herbs when Sootpaw entered, but she stopped when Silverstar motioned for her to join them. Sootpaw looked towards Jaggedclaw, making sure he was asleep, before swallowing again, trying to figure out where to start.

She decided to dive in with the very first dream Chillpaw had given her, describing its every detail. Silverstar's eyes grew wide as Sootpaw went on, for there was no way the apprentice could have remembered the event herself, as young as she was when it had actually occurred. Sootpaw plunged on, describing how she had dreamed the same thing over and over until she thought she would go mad from it, and how Chillpaw had finally begun reaching out to her. She spoke of their first meetings, and then the introductions to the others, and the plan to bring them all back to life. Her listeners stiffened as she mentioned Blight and Dapplefern, and shame heated her face as she thought of how foolish she had been to trust them, but she forced herself on, not sparing a detail as she described all that had happened between her and the Dark Forest cats, how she had dug out their stories, humanized them, and melted the ice around Chillpaw's heart. The only thing she concealed was the truth of her parentage; they were not the first cats in the Clan who should learn that secret; they might figure it out themselves, but it would be after things had died down for them, after she had told her own family the truth.

And then, she told them how she had lost them, how everything had gone so wrong all at once, how he had made his choice to go through the Pool with her rather than disappearing forever. She said nothing of Silverstar's son, but she felt the leader understood, and when there was nothing more to say, when words finally failed her, she only stared into Silverstar's eyes and prayed she would not be exiled right there and then.

"It's insane," Forestheart said first, and she flinched. "Reincarnation, the Dark Forest, a mysterious pool…it's mad."

"It's true," Silverstar said softly. "Look at her face. Do you think she's lying? You should recognize the pain that comes from loving someone better than anyone else, Forestheart." She glanced to her niece. "Is it true, that he would have made it through, and come back as a new cat?"

Shimmerfrost was staring at Sootpaw, her eyes far away, but she snapped back as Silverstar spoke.

"I don't know," she admitted. "StarClan rarely speaks of the Dark Forest…our ancestors have very little influence there, really, and there are plenty of mysteries that even they have not unraveled. But I do not doubt Chillpaw's power to touch other cats' dreams; you experienced my father's ability to do so firstpaw." She gave Sootpaw a sharp look, and Sootpaw remembered that Shimmerpaw knew the truth about her parentage, that she had been there when Minnow had brought her into PeakClan's nursery. She gave Shimmerfrost the smallest of nods – _I know who I am _– and to her relief, the medicine cat did not voice her thoughts.

"But…if it's true, if he's our…." Forestheart trailed off.

"Our son isn't Chillpaw," Silverstar meowed. "Chillpaw no longer truly exists, according to what Sootpaw's just told us. The son I gave birth to might have his spirit, but he will be a very different cat. He'll be raised with love, he'll have family to depend on, and he will never be alone. He'll have all the good that was already in Chillpaw, all the potential that was never fully understood. He'll be the cat Chillpaw would have been, if things had gone differently. He'll have his second chance."

Sootpaw felt a touch of relief – they believed her, and what was more, they were still going to love their son as fiercely as any other kit – mixed in with the sorrow. It had happened, Chillpaw had gotten his second chance – and she would not be a part of it.

Forestheart was thoughtful, but he finally nodded. "Yes. Whether this is all true or not, he's our son, and he can't have a scrap of evil in him with a cat as kind and warm as his mother." He bent down to nuzzle her, and Silverstar purred quietly as he licked her ear.

"Icekit will be his name," she meowed, and Shimmerfrost stiffened with surprise.

"Icekit," she echoed, and pain crossed her face for a brief moment as she remembered the kit she had grown up with, the little Ice who had been snatched away by their mother in the middle of the night, and turned into Chill. She shook herself, and frowned.

"It goes without saying that the rest of the Clan can never know," she said. Silverstar seemed surprised, but after a moment's thought, nodded.

"I don't want them to judge him based on who he was," she meowed. "All that matters is who he is, who he will be. And we have you to thank for that, Sootpaw."

The apprentice blinked with surprise as her leader smiled up at her.

"Chillpaw must have chosen you for a reason, and I'd say he chose well, although it's ended heartbreakingly for you, and you have my condolences for that. But I hope the knowledge that he will be cared for and loved will make that heartbreak somewhat easier to bear."

"I hope so too," was all Sootpaw could manage; some part of her was still in shock that it had happened, that Chillpaw had really made it, and she knew the full flood of feelings would hit her later, when her mind had a chance to catch up. For now, though, she was touched with a strange sort of hope as she smiled back. Things would be alright, for Chillpaw if no one else.

"Excuse me," she said then. "I have a few things to tell some other cats, if you don't mind." She caught Shimmerfrost's eye again, sensing her suspicions.

Silverstar nodded quickly. "Of course. Thank you, Sootpaw. For everything. StarClan themselves could not have chosen a better cat for all of this. Sleep well."

Sootpaw dipped her head to them, before fleeing the den, ears flat against her head as she hunted for her father in the darkness. The moon was beginning to rise, and she knew Spiderpaw and Ravenwing had probably settled down for the night already, but she couldn't keep the secret back any longer. It was rising in her throat, practically clawing at her, demanding to be released, and she was finally willing to allow it.

She spotted him on the edge of camp, surveying the roots of one of the old trees that lined it, probably scoping out a new place for the nursery, and rushed towards him. He turned around with a smile as she approached.

"Can't you just see it?" he asked. "Silverstar lying right here, her kits tumbling all around…Natasha's too. She told me she intends to leave them here when she returns to Twolegplace; it won't be safe enough there for some time. She'll come and visit when she can, and when they're old enough, they can decide whether they want to go there as well, or stay here as Clan cats. It feels good to know the nursery won't be empty any longer."

Sootpaw nodded numbly, and Eaglestrike blinked, his yellow eyes softening.

"What's the matter, Sootpaw?" he inquired. "Are you feeling unwell?" Something crossed his face, and he shifted uncomfortably. "You know, I was only joking about the kits. If something's happened – between you and that dark rogue, perhaps – you can tell me. I won't be angry. It's earlier than I would have liked, certainly, but you'll be a warrior in two moons or so, and—"

"What?" It had taken a moment for his implication to register. "No, _no. _It's nothing like that. And Rook and I aren't—we aren't like—" She broke off, feeling her face fill with alarming warmth. "No, it's nothing like that, I promise."

Despite what he had said, Eaglestrike's eyes filled with relief. "Ah, okay. What is it, then?"

"It's a long story," she admitted.

"I have time," he replied, sitting down and curling his tail around his paws. "I know I didn't always make time when you were younger – I seem to recall a promised trip through the territory that never happened – and I'm sorry for that. But I have plenty of time now, as long as you need."

She blinked at him – she was his height now, when had that happened? – and felt her throat threatening to close again.

"I couldn't have asked for a better father," she meowed, her voice thick with emotion. "Or mother, or brother. I want to say that first."

His ears pricked at that, and for the second time that night, a story tumbled out of her, although this one was very different from the one Silverstar had heard. The Dark Forest cats were not mentioned at all; she used Sage in their place, saying that Minnow had recognized her when they were in the mountains, and had told Sage who she was. She went on to explain that Sage had waited until they were close enough for her to believe him, before he told her the truth about her parentage and where she had come from, how she had been carried by Minnow herself and placed in Ravenwing's care, how she was not Eaglestrike's daughter at all.

He made several small, muffled noises as she went on, his eyes clouding with confusion, and when she was done, he could only gape at her for several long moments.

"You can ask Shimmerfrost if you want," Sootpaw said. "She was there, with Rumble. They promised not to say anything. They didn't want…they didn't want the Clan to think less of me, just because…." She looked down at her paws, one light, one dark.

"No. I believe you." His tail flicked underneath her chin, forcing her to look back up into his yellow eyes, eyes that she had always thought were so much like her own. "It doesn't matter, anyway. I know whose daughter you are, and it certainly isn't Blight's. No matter where you came from, you're my daughter now and forever, Sootpaw."

Before she knew what she was doing, she was burying her face in his fur, pressing her muzzle against his chest as she had when she was younger; he rested his chin on top of her head, licking her ears gently as she trembled.

They didn't say anything else – they didn't need to. They sat together as the moon rose high in the sky, before Sootpaw finally pulled away, regaining control of herself, and the two of them went into different dens. She curled up in her own – it felt so strange, sleeping in the same place over and over again; the apprentice den was like another world to her, after all she had seen on the journey – and pressed her nose against her tail, grateful for when sleep's black touch finally rose to claim her and calmed her churning thoughts.

She and her father told Spiderpaw and Ravenwing everything the next day, and she received the same answer from them as she had from Eaglestrike: she was their family through and through, no matter who had given birth to her or whose heritage she carried. And then, she told them her one last lingering piece of news.

"The mountains?" Spiderpaw asked, flabbergasted. "You're going there? _Why?_"

"I hope you don't think the Clan will think ill of you for all this," Eaglestrike said. "They've watched you grow up, Sootpaw. You're one of them, one of us. You don't have to leave."

"She's not going because of the Clan," Ravenwing mewed, studying her daughter's face closely. "You're curious, aren't you? About Sage, and all of them?"

Sootpaw nodded. "What little I saw of the old forest was beautiful. I want to see every piece of the territory…and I want to learn about them, Blight and Belladonna. I want to know where they came from, how they became who they were, what they were _like…_and where I belong."

"You belong right here," Spiderpaw insisted, and she nuzzled his muzzle, grateful he had said so.

"Maybe I do, and maybe I don't, but I'll never know until I go and see for myself," she replied.

"I expect that if we tried to stop you, you'd just sneak away again," Eaglestrike said dryly, "so I won't attempt to change your mind. Will you be leaving with Sage, when he comes back?"

She nodded, and Ravenwing licked her muzzle.

"Just be careful, won't you?" she asked, her green eyes round with worry. "The mountains are dangerous, and so is the forest, although it is beautiful. I'm sure Sage and the others will look after you, and you're strong enough to take care of yourself, but…just remember where your paws are, okay?"

Sootpaw purred quietly, remembering their training sessions together. "I will," she promised, before she looked at the three of them, feeling her heart swell as she saw the love reflected in their eyes. "And I will come back, I swear – it just might not be to stay."

"We'll hold you to that," Eaglestrike said, his voice thicker than she could ever remember it being. "Tonight's the full moon. I suppose I had better make sure you get to go to one last Gathering, eh?"

At that, Sootpaw grinned. "Yeah, I think you'd better."

She shared prey with Rook afterwards, once her family had finally let her go, and he knew without even having to ask that she had finally told them.

"So, when are we leaving?" he asked, then blinked. "Not that the Clan isn't nice, or anything. I mean, it's pretty cool. I guess. Some of the rules are picky – like why do I have to be one of the last ones to eat? I'm not _really _a warrior – but it's pretty okay overall."

"I know what you mean," she assured him. "When Sage comes back, I think. It's only a few days away." She felt a prickle of worry, but it was mixed with excitement. She almost didn't want to leave the Clan again so soon after getting back home, but at the same time, she was eager to explore the mountains and learn everything she could from her other brother and new sister.

"Awesome." Rook took a bite out of the vole they were sharing, then gave her a suspicious glance. "There's something else you're not telling me. What is it?"

She rolled her eyes, annoyed that he could read her so easily. "It's…Silverstar's son. He's completely white. They named him Icekit."

Rook understood immediately, and he gave her a look of concern. "Are you okay?"

She considered the question for a moment, thinking of the tiny white kit curled up against Natasha's belly. She imagined his eyes opening, clearing to reveal their sharp, bright blue, thought of his voice saying the names of his sisters and parents. She pictured him growing up, doted on by his parents and watched by the Clan – for as the leader's kits, he would have the Clan's constant attention – and becoming first and apprentice, and then a warrior, hearing his new name swelling around him. She pictured him taking a new mate – little Ivy, perhaps, if she stayed with the Clan – and fathering kits and watching those kits shoot up just as he had and growing old with his mate, whoever she was. She saw him in StarClan, stars glowing all over his pelt, still without a scrap of an idea as to who he had been, still with no real recognition as he looked at her, and although she felt her heart twist, it was a good sort of pain. Chillpaw had never deserved the first life he had lead - no one deserved a life so full of heartache and loneliness and loss – but he deserved that second life, full of family and light and love.

She looked again to Rook, seeing the concern still glimmering in his bright green eyes – very different from Chillpaw's, but oddly just as nice, in their own way – and felt warmth flood through her, from her nose to her tail. She reached forwards to lick his muzzle with a quiet purr at his jolt of surprise.

"Yeah," she said, her own yellow eyes twinkling as she nudged his dark paw with her white one. "I think I'm okay."

**AN: Another huge chapter…but that's to be expected, eh?**

**Going on vacation for a week tomorrow (Saturday). There'll prolly be wifi at our condo, but maybe not, so if you don't hear from me for a week, I'm not dead, just chilling on a beach somewhere. xD**

**1 Spiderpaw chapter, and the Epilogue. **


	74. C h a p t e r 73

**C**_**hapter **_**73**

Spiderpaw walked away from their little family meeting without quite knowing where he was going; his head was spinning as he struggled to comprehend what Sootpaw had told them. The very idea that she was not his sister born and bred was almost impossible for him to reconcile with the rest of his world – and yet it made sense. Try as he might, he could find no gap in logic, no wiggle room for uncertainty. It made entirely too much sense, and that in turn made him sad.

He had told her it didn't matter, but that was a lie. He would not hold it against her – he never could, for she was his sister whether they were related or not – but the truth still gnawed at him, coiling in his belly like a snake and running underneath his pelt like ants. It _changed _things in a way he could not explain, but felt all the same. Like it or not, Sootpaw was different because of this knowledge, and so was he. There would be no more falling asleep together with pelts barely touching, slipping into darkness without a care, for in the back of his mind he would always know that things were not quite the same. They were still apprentices, but they were no longer immature, no longer naïve.

It wasn't just this new truth that had changed them, he realized. The past few moons had been turbulent, full of various upheavals and loss for the both of them. Sootpaw had suffered the solid earth beneath her paws being ripped out from under her, with the many reveals she had endured, and Spiderpaw had struggled to find his footing with his Clanmates. Somehow, though, they'd managed to keep standing, despite their trials.

Sootpaw was certainly stronger for it, but was he?

"Hey, Spiderpaw," came Blackfeather's purr, and he turned his head to find her padding towards him, a bright smile on her face. The smile faltered as she saw his expression. "Something wrong? You're not worried about the Gathering, are you? I'm sure you'll get to go, after everything you've been up to."

He almost laughed; it seemed so absurd now, all of his sneaking in the shadows just to catch a glimpse of the Gatherings in the past. The Gathering had been the last thing on his mind.

"No, I wasn't thinking about the Gathering. Nothing's wrong," he lied, but Blackfeather didn't buy it for a second.

"_Something _is," she meowed, flicking her tail against his flank. "You can tell me anything, Spiderpaw. You know that."

"I do," he answered, "but this isn't mine to tell, not really." Eaglestrike would probably tell the Clan later, after Sootpaw left; it would get out eventually, when they started asking questions about why she was leaving, and how long she would be away, what she was running from….

Blackfeather blinked at him, before licking his muzzle, sending fierce tingles running through his fur. "I understand. I shouldn't be surprised Sootpaw has secrets, what with all she went through."

The fact that she had figured that much out didn't surprise him, and he gave her a nod, grateful for her patience. He could barely wrap his mind around the whole thing himself, let alone try to explain it to anyone else.

_She's still my sister, _he thought. _Not even Blight can take that away from her. _

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his father moving towards the BranchPile. Spiderpaw's ears pricked with interest, and Blackfeather shot him a curious glance.

"It seems a bit early to say who is going to the Gathering," she whispered. "It's not even sunhigh yet."

Spiderpaw only shrugged – he agreed with her, but had no idea what else Eaglestrike would be saying, as it certainly wasn't about Sootpaw's secret – and blinked up at his father.

Eaglestrike yowled, calling the Clan together and waiting until most cats had emerged from their dens. A glint of pride was in his eyes as he looked down at them, settling on one cat in particular: Blizzardpaw.

_Oh, _Spiderpaw thought, as comprehension dawned on him. _Is it really time for that already? Seems like just last night we were sneaking off to train._

"Silverstar and I are still discussing who will be going to the Gathering," Eaglestrike began, "but there is one cat we have both agreed will stay: Blizzardpaw."

The white tom blinked with surprise, then embarrassment, looking as though he feared he had done something wrong, and the deputy smiled.

"The reason for this, is because he will almost certainly be sitting his warrior vigil," the gray tom purred, and Blizzardpaw's mild embarrassment morphed into joy within seconds. Next to him, a still-bandaged Robinpaw grinned, nudging him with her shoulder.

"In light of the recent battle, we have decided you will not be sparring with an apprentice today; I've heard several reports of how well you fought, so you've already passed that section of the assessment. All you need to focus on today is hunting. Since I am the deputy as well as your mentor, it would not be fair for me to judge your performance on my own. Petalcloud will be helping, as she is one of the better hunters in the Clan." He inclined his head to the calico, who gave Blizzardpaw a small smile. "You have the advantage of being the only hunter in our territory during your assessment, which I suggest you take advantage of. If you're ready, you may begin now."

Blizzardpaw's eyes widened. "Uh. Can I take a minute, first?" he asked, and Eaglestrike nodded. Blizzardpaw gave Robinpaw's ear a quick nuzzle. Then, much to Spiderpaw's surprise, the white tom headed for him and Blackfeather.

"Before I go, I just wanted to thank you two," Blizzardpaw meowed. "I never would have done so well in the battle if it wasn't for your training. You guys taught me a lot, and I'm grateful for it."

"I'm just mad you didn't get to kick Redpaw's tail after all," Spiderpaw grumbled, and Blackfeather gave his ear a scolding flick.

"I know you'll do well," she purred to the white tom, "and you're welcome. We're just happy we could help."

"Good luck!" Fireblaze called as he limped towards them, followed by Leopardpaw, and Spiderpaw was reminded that the two of them were friends; Blizzardpaw had entered training not too long after Fireblaze and his sister, after all.

"You'll do well," Leopardpaw mewed, "so long as you keep your white fur hidden."

Blizzardpaw's whiskers twitched at that – Spiderpaw was willing to bet Eaglestrike had drilled that into his head every time they had trained together – but he nodded. "Thank you, all of you. Hopefully the next time you see me, it'll be with a mouth full of prey." With that, he turned back to Eaglestrike, and gave him a nod; the deputy leaped down from the BranchPile to join his apprentice, and the two of them headed out of camp, with Petalcloud on their heels.

"Oh, I hope he does well," Robinpaw fretted as she headed towards her cousin. "I mean, I know he will, but…you know."

"He's not outstanding, but he gets the job done," Leopardpaw said. "He'll be fine."

"The real question is who _is _going to the Gathering," Fireblaze meowed, sitting down to rest his bad leg. "Sootpaw and Leopardpaw are obvious – probably you too, Spiderpaw – but they'll have a hard time choosing from the warriors. Everyone fought well – obviously, or else we would have lost some of them."

Leopardpaw wrinkled her nose. "I have no real interest in going. The PeakClan cats do not make for amusing company, and Stonestar will only say that they are all recovering just fine."

"And you don't want to go without me," the ginger tabby teased. Leopardpaw gave him a reproachful flick of her ear, but did not disagree. Looking at them, Spiderpaw could see the trust – and, dare he suggest it, _fondness _– that had developed between them. Leopardpaw had found her other half in the Clan, just as he had with Blackfeather. Without quite realizing it, he pressed his pelt against hers, and was met with a warm purr.

"Reedrush will probably be offered the opportunity, since she's in the medicine den with them, but she'll turn it down," the black she-cat said. "She hasn't left Jaggedclaw's side since she got back."

"It's so romantic," Robinpaw sighed. "A love story come to life, don't you think? Oh, I bet they'll have adorable kits."

The others stared at her, and her pelt prickled defensively. "What? She's still a very young cat! I mean, Silverstar's a year older, and _she _just had a litter."

"One that nearly killed her," Spiderpaw mumbled, but privately he was rather hopeful for the two of them. Jaggedclaw deserved a second chance at a family more than anyone.

_Speaking of family, _he thought, looking over his shoulder, trying to spot Sootpaw. His eyes narrowed as he found her sitting with those two rogue friends of hers. He didn't trust them one bit. The she-cat was off-putting because she didn't speak, only made strange gestures, but it was the tom who truly worried him. He was enormous – partially because of his thick, fluffy fur, but Spiderpaw was willing to bet he was still decently large underneath it – and had a weird voice that Spiderpaw didn't entirely understand, a rasp with silvery undertones. They both gave him the creeps, quite frankly, and he didn't want Sootpaw palling around with either of them.

_At least they'll leave when she does. _His ears flattened at the very thought. He had just gotten his sister back; he didn't want to lose her all over again.

"Spiderpaw?" Blackfeather's voice was gentle. "Something wrong?"

He turned back to the group, and blinked as he realized they were all watching him with varying amounts of concern.

_When did this happen? _he wondered. _When did we come together like this? When did we stop being uneasy allies, and became friends?_

The tips of his ears heated at the attention, and he ducked his head. "I'm fine. Just distracted, that's all."

Blackfeather touched his ear with his nose, but didn't press further, for which he was grateful. The tide of conversation turned to something else – fishing, of all things – and although he tried holding on, he found himself drifting into his thoughts once more.

It was sunhigh when Blizzardpaw and the warriors returned; without quite meaning to, the others rose to their paws, eager to see the results. Spiderpaw felt a rush of relief as he saw the fat squirrel hanging in the white tom's jaws, and Eaglestrike clutching a sparrow. Both pieces of prey were set in the fresh-kill pile, and Petalcloud turned to Eaglestrike, taking up his usual position of judge.

"Well, Eaglestrike," she meowed, "how do you think your apprentice did?"

Eaglestrike smiled. "Blizzardpaw did well. He brought back less prey than Fireblaze or Blackfeather did, but this was because of the recent harshness of the weather. Leaf-bare is never an easy time in which to hunt, and he rose to the challenge magnificently, going so far as to capture a sparrow mid-flight. He was cautious and deliberate, and although he hesitated a heartbeat too long on one occasion, he was successful in his other attempts."

"I agree with your assessment," Petalcloud said formally, before shooting Blizzardpaw a grin. "Well done."

Robinpaw let out an excited squeak, as Eaglestrike turned and headed for the BranchPile, ready to begin the ceremony. However, he paused as Silverstar emerged from the medicine den, her silver pelt gleaming like starshine.

"Are you sure?" Eaglestrike asked, and when she dipped her head, he let out a low, rumbling purr, before moving to sit beside his apprentice.

Silverstar padded up the BranchPile carefully – she was still a bit stiff from her kitting – and looked down upon her Clan with a twinkle in her blue eyes.

"It has been a long time, AshClan," she began, her voice soft and warm, as if she was speaking to her kits. "Far too long, I am afraid. In a few moons, we will have stood together as a Clan for an entire year, and I have not been here for much of it. I allowed my fear and grief to control me. I was not strong enough to lead the Clan through another time of peril, and for that, I am sorry. Eaglestrike has done a valiant job in my stead, and I am more grateful to him than words can express…but it is time for me to step up as your leader once more, to carry on as I should have moons ago.

"The storm is behind us now, AshClan. I believe that with all my heart. We have been tested and passed, walked through fire and came out unmarred on the other side. We have stood together as a Clan, broken down barriers of fear and mistrust, and become united despite all our hardships."

Spiderpaw thought she barely inclined her head in Leopardpaw's direction, but he couldn't be sure; Silverstar continued on without pause.

"Chillpaw's betrayal shook the Clan – and me – to its roots…but Leopardpaw has shown us that not every story had to conclude as his did. Sometimes, we can change the ending." This time she was definitely looking at Leopardpaw as she smiled. "But it is not Leopardpaw we will honor tonight. Blizzardpaw, come up here, please."

The white tom rose to his paws, moving up towards the BranchPile. Spiderpaw watched, imagining another white tom in his place, a tom with eyes far icier and no nervous smile.

"I, Silverstar, call upon our warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. He has trained long and hard to learn the ways of your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn.

"Blizzardpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

The white tom swallowed. "I do," he said, blue eyes glinting in his white face. Spiderpaw thought Silverstar might hesitate then, might become trapped in her memories, but their leader plunged forward.

"Then, by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Blizzardpaw, from this day forward you will be known as Blizzardwhisker. StarClan honors your compassion and steadfastness, and we welcome you as a full warrior of AshClan."

"Blizzardwhisker!" Robinpaw yowled, and was met with a resounding cry from Reedrush, who stood in the entrance to the medicine den.

"Blizzardwhisker! Blizzardwhisker! Blizzardwhisker!" The Clan took up the chant, and the newly christened warrior closed his eyes, soaking up the sound of his name reverberating throughout camp.

"Your vigil will be held tonight, during the Gathering," Silverstar said. "You may speak for now, but when night falls, you must be silent."

Blizzardwhisker nodded, before turning to his mother with a grin. Reedrush licked her son's head with a purr, and Silverstar waited for the din of the Clan to die down before she continued to speak.

"Eaglestrike and I will announce who is going to the Gathering shortly before nightfall," she meowed, before moving down from the BranchPile, heading for the leader's den to be with her kits. Eaglestrike paused to speak to his former apprentice for a moment, pride still glowing in his eyes, before he followed his leader into her den as well.

"Great name!" Blackfeather purred as Blizzardwhisker finally padded towards their group, and Robinpaw bounced forward to meet him.

"It's perfect!" the ginger apprentice purred. "You _do _have the most handsome whiskers."

The white warrior twitched his ear with embarrassment, but looked pleased, and Spiderpaw found himself smiling. He had expected to feel jealous, especially since Eaglestriek was clearly so delighted with his apprentice's success, but he only felt warmth for the older tom.

"It does suit you," he agreed.

"They'll probably name _you _Spiderfang," Robinpaw giggled, and the others purred with amusement. He rolled his eyes, but didn't find a snappy retort waiting in the back of his mind. It was alright to let them pull his tail on occasion, so long as they did not get used to it.

"You'll probably be named with Robinpaw," Fireblaze said to Leopardpaw. "You're a bit ahead of the Clan's schedule, because you trained with Carmelo before, and no one's going to doubt your fighting ability after you killed Maggot."

"I had help," the golden apprentice admitted, her cool eyes flicking to Spiderpaw. "You do know I will probably have to spar with you, don't you?"

He grinned. "Bring it on," he said with faux-cockiness. Instead of being disdainful, as she would have before, Leopardpaw only met his challenge with an amused roll of her eyes.

The next few hours passed quickly, despite their anxiety for the coming Gathering. Before they knew it, Silverstar was on the BranchPile again.

"Long time no see," she joked as the Clan quieted itself in anticipation. "I will cut to the chase, as it were. Petalcloud, Forestheart, Ravenwing, Frostfeather, Sootpaw, Spiderpaw, and Leopardpaw will be going to the Gathering tonight. Reedrush was given the opportunity, but declined. The rest of you are welcome to keep Blizzardwhisker company." She shot the white tom an amused glance; he opened his mouth to speak, only to glance towards the horizon; the sun had all but disappeared.

Leopardpaw rose to her feet. "With all due respect, I would like to decline as well," she meowed, with a look in Fireblaze's direction.

Silverstar seemed surprised, but nodded. "Very well. Redpaw may go, then, for his efforts in guiding Natasha back to us."

Blatant astonishment ran across the ginger tom's face as his name was called; he had been sitting off by himself, sulking, having apparently finally heard about his sister's betrayal.

"I will be heading AshClan at the Gathering tonight," Silverstar went on. "It's about time, and I am eager to see how the others are doing – Shimmerfrost has said it will be fine, so long as I do not overexert myself."

Spiderpaw found the silver tabby in the medicine den's entrance, her eyes like chips of ice as she looked up at her leader.

_Bet she's pleased, _Spiderpaw purred to himself, before feeling a shiver of anticipation run down his spine. Despite what he had said earlier, he was definitely looking forward to this Gathering.

"If there are no other objections, we might as well get started," Silverstar meowed, and she padded down the BranchPile, joining Eaglestrike at the bottom.

"See you later," Blackfeather purred, as Spiderpaw rose. "You'll have to tell us all about it in the morning!"

"I will," he promised, nodding to the rest of them before looking for Sootpaw. She was excusing herself from his rogue friends, and he moved to join her.

"One last Gathering, huh?" she mewed, flicking her tail against his pelt.

"It's not the last," he said firmly. "You're coming back, remember?"

"Of course," she answered, but they both knew there was the _I don't know if I'll be staying _lurking behind her words.

"We should go before they leave us behind," he said, and she smiled. The two of them trotted towards the others, who were already grouped around Silverstar.

"It's great to have you back," Frostfeather was saying, nuzzling her old friend's muzzle. "I'm coming by in the morning to see you and the kits, alright? No buts."

"Absolutely," Silverstar purred back, before giving the two approaching apprentices a nod. "Hello, you two."

Spiderpaw thought her eyes lingered a moment longer on Sootpaw than they did on him, but both looks were too brief for him to be certain, and in any case she was already moving forward, heading for the camp entrance. The others trailed after her, and Spiderpaw and Sootpaw found themselves in the back, with Redpaw.

The ginger tom didn't look at them, walking ahead with quiet determination, but Spiderpaw didn't feel like talking to him anyway. Despite Redpaw coming back, all Spiderpaw could think of was his claws digging into his pelt, and then how he had turned on his own idol, Fireblaze. He doubted Redpaw would ever try anything like that again, after seeing how abysmal life in the city was, but he wasn't about to take any chances.

Blizzardwhisker was sitting by the camp entrance, rigid as a board. He shot Spiderpaw a grin as he passed, and Spiderpaw dipped his head, feeling a small flicker of pride for his contributions to the white tom's success.

They were the first to reach the long, smooth rocks of the Gathering site, which wasn't surprising; the sun had only just now disappeared, and the horizon was still touched with a few last streaks of color, although these were rapidly fading. Spiderpaw found himself longing for the lengthy, warm days of greenleaf, but those were still a long time away.

AshClan settled itself, and Silverstar and Eaglestrike headed for their usual spots; Silverstar curled her tail around her paws, looking like a silver statue, save for the quick looks she kept throwing over her shoulder as they waited for the PeakClan cats to arrive.

They did not have to wait long. Glowing eyes appeared on the other side of the river, and Stonestar stepped out from the brush, picking his way carefully over the stones. Northstar was with him, and Spiderpaw spotted a few familiar faces – Twigstripe, Goldenshine, Brackenpaw – among those following him.

PeakClan looked much better than he remembered. They were still thin – that was no surprise, considering the harsh weather – but most of them had at least been groomed before they came, and there were sparks in their eyes that hadn't been there before. Stonestar went rigid as he reached the other side of the river and finally realized it was Silverstar sitting where Eaglestrike had been for so many moons.

"Hello, Silverstar," the gray tom meowed, a smile curling his muzzle. "It's good to see you."

"Likewise," the silver leader purred. "AshClan has plenty of news to share, and I'm sure you do, too."

"I'd like to start right away, if—" Stonestar began, only to cut off and bristle as he stared at something upstream. Spiderpaw turned, and blinked with surprise as he saw dark shapes making their way down the riverbank, led by a familiar pair of green eyes.

"Hello," Fern meowed. "I hope we aren't intruding on anything. We were just curious. You mentioned the Gathering last night, and I thought we might stop by…mingle a bit. We are neighbors now, after all."

Silverstar looked just as surprised as Stonestar, but she shrugged. "I don't have a problem with it. Getting to know the members of the Colony will be good for AshClan, I think. What about you, Stonestar?"

He looked wary, but only shrugged. "We will be working closely with them in order to make sure everything in Twolegplace goes as it should. I have no qualms with them being here."

Fern dipped her head. "Thank you." She flicked her tail to her rogues, but for a long moment, none of them moved.

Then, Tubs stepped forward with a jovial swagger, his eyes flicking through the crowd and settling on every cat that had been a part of the group that had brought down Maggot. "Great to see y'all again, I must say. And such a lovely forest, too. Real pleasure to walk through."

"Just be careful you don't stay too long," Brackenpaw said, his tone light and teasing, and Tubs grinned.

"Can't make no promises, but we'll try."

As easily as that, the ice was broken, and the groups began mingling, although most of the Clan cats not already familiar with the rogues chose to keep their distance.

Spiderpaw didn't move at first, wanting to be selective about whose company he kept, only for his eyes to widen as he spotted a familiar pale pelt in the crowd. In the same moment, she turned her head, and he was startled when she smiled and moved towards him, head lowered with shyness.

"Hello, Spiderpaw," she mewed. "How are you?"

"Hi, Faint," he said, eyes immediately going to her much-flatter stomach. He realized he was staring, and his ears flattened with embarrassment. "Uh, I'm good. When did you—"

"It's been a moon now," she purred, sitting down and curling her tail around her paws. "I had three. Two toms, and a sweet little girl. Everything went just fine. They were a bit worried, since I was so young, but…it was fine."

"What did you name them?"

A shadow crossed her face for a brief moment. "Oh, well…I named the little she-kit Destiny, and then two boys were…."

He didn't hear what she had named the toms; he only stared at her, eyes flicking over her pale silver pelt, and feeling something click into place. _Destiny._

"Your name isn't Faint," he meowed. "It's _Fate._"

A look of disbelief came over her, followed by embarrassment. "Yes. That's what my mother named me. When I was introducing myself to the group, they misheard me, and…well, I didn't correct them. I like Faint a bit better. I haven't seen my mother in a very long time."

He was still gaping at her, and she shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, Spiderpaw, but if I had corrected you back then, I would have had to admit to everyone that I'd been letting them call me by another name for like a moon, and that would have been so embarrassing—"

"No, no, it's not that. It's just…I know someone who knows your mom. Or knew, at least. She saved his life, less than a year ago."

Faint's eyes widened. "She did what?"

He shook his head. "It's a really long story – like, I don't even know half of it – but I guess it doesn't matter. Your mother was here, in the battle with Lion and Carmelo and everyone else. I think she was on their side, I don't really know…but during the battle, my friend was hurt, and she saved his life. They used to know each other." He hesitated. "I think…I think he would like to know you. You're family, sort of."

"Oh." Faint looked as though she didn't quite know what to say, and he was reminded of the skittish cat she had been after he had attacked her. _It must have cost her a lot to come tonight, with all these strangers…especially since she had to leave her kits behind, if only for a few hours. _

Then, she smiled. "I think I would like that, if he could tell me more about my mother. I never really knew her, you see; she left when I was very young. I've…well, I've always sort of resented her for it, but wanted to find her, too…maybe he can point me on the right path."

"I'll make sure to let him know," Spiderpaw promised, and Faint gave him a grateful blink. "And I won't tell anyone about your real name, if you don't want me to."

She nodded, and then nearly jumped out of her pelt as Stonestar yowled, signaling that the news-sharing was about to begin.

"Er, sorry," the gray tom rumbled, seeing how he had startled other rogues besides Faint. "This is the part where the two leaders of the Clan share news with everyone, and that sort of thing…."

Silverstar blinked at Fern, who was sitting near Petalcloud. "Would you like to share a bit? You're not a leader, of course, but we'd like to hear how the Colony is doing."

Fern blinked, then shrugged, rising to her paws. "There isn't much to say, really. Baron's recovering, but he probably won't be there when we meet again to show our chosen ambassadors. Prey's fine, we're all getting along. Riley, our informant in the city, hasn't brought us any bad news. That's all I can think of."

Silverstar nodded, before glancing to Stonestar. "I would like to go next, if that is alright."

The gray tom looked a bit disgruntled, but he dipped his head, and Silverstar let out a low purr.

"It's been a long time since I was here," she began. "Far too long, really, but I promise I will be a regular face from now on. Part of the reason for my absence was because I was with kits. Yesterday, three new lives joined our Clans."

Both Stonestar and Northstar seemed more than a little shocked by that.

"Congratulations," the deputy growled, and Silverstar smiled at him.

_Bet she didn't think she'd be getting that from him a year ago, _Spiderpaw thought, amused.

"AshClan has also recently named a new warrior – very recently, in fact. Tonight, Blizzardwhisker is sitting his silent vigil."

"He'll definitely be up all night, waiting for the Gathering to end so he doesn't get caught napping," Forestheart joked from below, and several purrs of amusement went through the ranks.

Silverstar nodded, beaming. "Yes. Jaggedclaw is also recovering well, and we hope he will be back on his feet very soon. Overall, AshClan is doing excellently, and I believe nothing but good things are in store for us in the future. We've risen from our challenges once again, and both this new litter and new warrior bode very well for our Clan."

She went on to talk about the prey and weather, boring things Spiderpaw didn't much care for, and he found his eyes wandering, finally settling on Sootpaw. She was sitting next to Brackenpaw, with Tubs on her other side, laughing quietly at some joke Brackenpaw had whispered in her ear. Spiderpaw felt a gloomy pang; in half a moon's time, she would be gone again, perhaps never to return for more than a few days.

_We have to let her go, if that's what will make her happy, _he thought with a quiet sigh. _Still…I hope the mountains don't call to her forever._

His head rose as he heard Stonestar's rumbling voice; apparently Silverstar had finished speaking, and let the gray tom share whatever news he was so eager to tell them.

"PeakClan has some very important news to share tonight, more than recovering from the sickness or new kits," he said. "We have suffered much in the past year, from losing pieces of our territory, to warriors in battle, to many cats due to illness, to even our beloved Peak. We have been tested time and time again…and each time, we have only barely survived the challenge. It is no secret that Lightstar was a poor leader, but it is more than that; PeakClan's recent past is a string of weak leaders and bad decisions, and it has taken its toll on not only the Clan itself, but every cat within it. Both Northstar and myself know that must change, and we have decided change will come only from a change in location."

Astonishment and confusion rippled through the Gathered cats, and Stonestar weathered it with resignation, waiting until the questions died down.

"Northstar has told us all about the old territory, and Brackenpaw and Swanpaw have shared their experiences with it as well," he said. "We have decided that is where we will go. Northstar is knowledgeable about the mountains, more so than any cat alive, and as far as we know Tremor and the others he leads do not venture there very often. They will not mind relinquishing territory that technically belongs to Northstar."

Silverstar's eyes were wide as she blinked at the PeakClan leader and his deputy. "Are you certain this is a wise move? The mountains are very dangerous, outright uninhabitable in some places—"

"I assure you, we're more than aware of that," Northstar said dryly. "For better or worse, the mountains made FrozenClan strong. I believe they can do the same for PeakClan – and as Stonestar said, I know them better than any other cat. Tremor will not object; he does not use the territory very often, but even more than that, there are secrets the mountains hold that only I know, secrets that may prove valuable to him. I know they've struggled with talking to their ancestors, for one."

"We will be leaving at the halfmoon, after the meeting about the ambassadors," Stonestar went on. "The worst of our sick should be strong enough by then, and we will move forward slowly. Sage can go on ahead and inform Tremor we are coming."

"Once everything with him is settled, Brackenpaw, Hawktalon, and myself will be going to find Rabbitleap," Northstar said, picking up where his leader left off. It was clear that they, for once, were of the same mind. "Thistlethorn may accompany us until we reach the lake and Twolegplace, if he wishes."

"This also means that our territory will be barren, at least for a short time," Stonestar meowed. "I trust Carmelo and the others will want to fill it as quickly as they can with another Colony, which should help the overpopulation problem." He glanced to Silverstar. "I hope you won't be offset by being flanked by rogues on two sides."

Silverstar still look a bit in shock, but she twitched her whiskers at that. "No, I don't think we'll mind at all. The marsh Colony has been a good neighbor, at least in recent days. I trust whoever comes next will do the same."

Spiderpaw took advantage of the lull as the Gathered cats soaked up the information to look to Sootpaw. To his surprise, she seemed delighted, and was grinning to Brackenpaw as she said something Spiderpaw couldn't quite hear.

_Guess she'll be traveling to the mountains with some of her friends again after all, _Spiderpaw thought, and sighed quietly. _I suppose this is a good thing. She'll at least know a few more cats than Sage and those other rogues when she goes there. Brackenpaw seems trustworthy enough._

Stonestar and Silverstar discussed returning to the mountains for a moment longer, and Stonestar did eventually talk about the usual recovery stuff – the sick cats were making plenty of promise with the cure, and so on – before the two of them finally decided there was nothing more to say.

"The Gathering – the last one between our two Clans, I'm afraid – is now concluded," Stonestar announced, rising to his paws and flicking his tail. The others rose with him, but Northstar paused a moment longer, looking to Silverstar.

"I doubt either of us thought we would be in the same forest again," he said, "and then, I doubt either of us thought I would leave again for my old home."

To Spiderpaw's surprise, Silverstar gave him a warm smile. "Perhaps not. But you're not going back home. PeakClan is your home now, anyone can see that, and so long as you're with them, you're right where you belong. You made FrozenClan a force to be reckoned with, for better or worse, and I know you can do the same for PeakClan. If there's anyone who knows about finding their way back, it's you."

Northstar's eyes were almost soft for a moment – Spiderpaw wouldn't have believed it if he wasn't seeing it with his own – and in a rather swift movement, he touched Silverstar's ear with his nose, before turning and moving down from the long stones, rejoining his Clan.

_That's right, _Spiderpaw thought distantly, as Silverstar and Eaglestrike moved down as well. _They're related, aren't they, in some weird, tangled, over-complicated way._

_Wait. Does that mean Silverstar's kits are his nieces and nephew, or something?_

He wrinkled his nose at that, and almost missed Faint's goodbye, as she darted back to rejoin the rogues.

Fern was watching the PeakClan cats leave with faint amusement in her eyes, before she led her own cats away.

_Guess they won't be coming to the next Gathering. But maybe we'll have them anyway, with the Colonies. It would make sense to keep in contact, share news, especially when the new cats settle into PeakClan's territory…._

He shook his head at that. It still seemed too weird to him, the idea of AshClan being the only Clan in the territory, and more rogues taking PeakClan's place.

"Spiderpaw!" Sootpaw chirped behind him, bounding towards her brother. "Oh, isn't it great? PeakClan going to find a new home? Plenty of peaks in the mountains, after all…and Sage and Swanpaw will get to see each other all the time now, and I can visit them, maybe even see Rabbitleap's kits…oh, it'll be fantastic!"

"Yeah, and we get to deal with all the newbies streaming into the forest," Spiderpaw said with a roll of his eyes. "Joy."

Sootpaw nudged him with her shoulder. "Oh, they won't be that bad. I mean, you made friends with that pretty she-cat, didn't you? Don't worry, I won't tell Blackfeather."

He gave her a glare, and she laughed, nuzzling his muzzle with her own. "Oh, cheer up, grumpypaws. Everything's going to turn out alright. You'll see!"

Her yellow eyes were dancing, and she seemed happier than he could remember her looking for a long time. So, he placed aside his doubts and worry, and cracked a smile instead, just for her.

"Everything's going to turn out alright," he echoed. _Even if you aren't here, even if your true home is somewhere else entirely, everything will turn out alright in the end._

. . .

Spiderpaw was not the smallest bit jealous of Blizzardwhisker when he awoke in the morning; he was still tired just from the Gathering, and couldn't imagine having stayed up the entire night, warrior's vigil or not. Yawning, he dragged himself out of his nest – nearly tripping over a prone Robinpaw on the way – and squinted in the bright sunlight, wrinkling his nose up at the sky as if to chastise it for daring to be so bright.

He didn't know if the others had been filled in on PeakClan's decision, and he really didn't care. Robinpaw would wrangle it out of _someone _soon enough, and it wasn't going to be him, while his tongue felt heavy and dry as a bone.

_I just need something to eat, _he thought groggily, lurching his way over to the prey pile. At the same moment, the dark rogue emerged from the medicine den, making his own trek for breakfast. He didn't so much look at Spiderpaw, bending to snap up the plump squirrel Blizzardwhisker had caught the day before. Irritated, Spiderpaw cleared his throat.

"That's meant for more than one cat, you know," he said, and the rogue froze, green eyes flicking to the black apprentice for the first time.

"I know," the rogue said, but he looked abashed. "I was gonna share it wid Nightingale, honest."

That was the other rogue's name, he assumed, and the idea of the fat squirrel going to fill the bellies of two strangers who would be gone in a few days nettled him.

"Why don't you choose something else," he said, and the tom bristled – an impressive feat, with his thick, bushy fur.

"I think I chose 'xactly what I meant," he growled back, in that voice that was rough and smooth in equal proportions.

Spiderpaw bared his fangs, and the rogue dropped the squirrel, tensing. Spiderpaw bent his legs as if to spring, only to freeze as he realized what he was doing, about to attack a guest in their camp for almost no reason.

The rogue didn't make a move, watching Spiderpaw with suspicion, and the black tom felt hot embarrassment lick over his fur. He was acting more like Spiderkit, spoiled and brash, than the tom who had taken down Maggot once and for all.

"If this is 'bout more than prey, juss say so," the rogue rumbled, eyes narrowed. "You don't like me. That's aight, but pretendin' somethin' else ain't. Spill what's on yer mind, before it gnaws a hole in yer gut."

Spiderpaw hesitated, and his ears flattened. "Fine. I don't like you. More specifically, I don't like you hanging around my sister."

Comphrension dawned in the rogue's eyes then, and his fur flattened as well as it could as he sat up. "Oh. Yer her brother, that's right. I'd forgotten. Hard to keep all you guys straight, 'specially with your weird names. Spiderpaw, right? I'm Rook."

"Nice to meet you," Spiderpaw said stiffly, but of course it was not, and they both knew it. Rook twitched his whiskers, looking almost amused before he nudged the squirrel back towards the prey pile, grabbing a vole instead.

"Come sit wid me, an' we can talk," he said, before trotting towards the edge of camp. Spiderpaw's eyes narrowed, but he picked up a mouse, before trailing after the dark rogue.

Rook was already digging into his meal with gusto as Spiderpaw neared, and the black apprentice was more than a little off-put by his lack of manners. Still, he sat down and took a tentative bite of his mouse, watching Rook with some amount of trepidation.

Rook paused only long enough to draw a breath and whisk his tongue over his muzzle, before he dove right back in, polishing off the vole in only a few bites. Privately, Spiderpaw thought he could have eaten the plump squirrel within minutes, and still have been hungry afterwads.

"So," Rook said, pushing the few remains of his mouse aside. "You don't like me hangin' with Sootpaw. That's perfectly understandable. Commendable, even, considering she is your sister. Of course you wanna protect her, same as how I wanna protect Nightingale, when I can. So, watcha not like 'bout me? Surely not my dashin' good looks." He shot Spiderpaw a grin that the younger tom did not return.

"I don't know what it is in particular," he said, eying a scrap of vole that was still on one of Rook's broad paws. "I just…you've come out of nowhere, at least to us, and suddenly you and she are so close…."

Rook's eyes gleamed again. "What, were you her confidante before?"

Spiderpaw's pelt prickled uncomfortably at that. He had _wanted _to be, certainly, but Sootpaw had only told him as much as she thought he needed to know. She had told him she had bad dreams, but not what they were about. She had told him she wanted to go to the Pool of Stars, but not what she hoped to find. She had told him she needed to go on the journey, but only because he would have stopped her otherwise. "Not exactly. Are _you?_"

The rogue purred quietly. "You could say that. She's told me a lot – namely about how much she cares about you. You're her big brother – so to speak – and she looks up to you. But, make no mistake, she's not gonna stop talkin' to me just 'cause you said so. I know you used to order her 'round a lot when she was smaller, an' that's not gonna happen anymore."

Spiderpaw stared down at his paws. _She said that, about caring about me like a brother? Even after she learned the truth? _"I'm glad of that. I always used to drag her around doing whatever I wanted, without caring much about how she felt. Changing that definitely isn't a bad thing."

Rook nodded. "Right-o. So what are you worried about?"

He realized he was digging his claws into the mouse, and forced himself to relax. "I don't know. Everything's going to be different. She's going to be gone, she's going to be in the mountains…PeakClan's going to be there too, and there will be even more new rogues here, and…I was just hoping to be facing things with her, I guess. All I did while she was gone was worry about her, wondering if she had a place to sleep, food to eat…if she was even _alive. _It's _dangerous _out there, and she's always had a habit of getting into trouble, having accidents, trusting the wrong cats, and I won't be there to help. I can't fight anything off for her anymore, can't be there to coax her over the rivers she has to cross. I won't be able to do _anything, _because I'll be here, and she'll be out there."

He'd said quite a bit more than he meant to, and he looked up at Rook, expecting more amusement. To his surprise, the darker tom was solemn.

"You don't have to worry about her," he said. "I promised her I would make sure everything turned out okay in the end, and I will, no matter what that entails. Whatever she faces, I'll be right there with her, and I promise she'll be safe – or as safe as a gal who attracts trouble like a flame does moths can be."

Spiderpaw stared into Rook's eyes, searching for any sign of deceit or uncertainty, and found none. "Alright. I believe you. But if anything does happen to her, I swear I'l make you regret your promise."

The dark rogue grinned. "Sounds fair to me."

Spiderpaw only nodded, and finished his mouse, pausing as he saw Reedrush slip out of the medicine den. As Blackfeather had said, the silver tabby had hardly left Jaggedclaw's side since she had returned, for which Spiderpaw was grateful. It made him worry less, knowing the older tom had someone looking after him.

_I suppose I should tell him what I know, _he thought, rising to his paws. He turned towards the den, only to pause as he remembered Rook. He dipped his head to the dark tom, intending to only thank him for agreeing to protect Sootpaw – he did believe the rogue meant what he had said – only to pause as something occurred to him.

"You and Sootpaw seem close," he meowed. "Are…are you two…?"

Rook's eyes widened, as if he was startled Spiderpaw would even ask, before he gave a slow, rueful shake of his head. "Sootpaw has…some things to get over. But…maybe one day." For some reason he seemed almost embarrassed, and he glanced down towards one dark paw, as if that meant something.

Spiderpaw wasn't sure what to say to that; finally, he just shrugged. "It's her choice, I guess. You _are _following her to the mountains. That has to count for something. Er…good luck, then."

"Much appreciated," Rook grinned, and with that Spiderpaw turned his back on him, trotting towards the medicine den.

The den was nearly empty as he entered; he didn't know what Reedrush had left for, but Shimmerfrost was probably collecting herbs, and both Silverstar and Forestheart were spending as much time with their kits as they could. Only Jaggedclaw remained. He seemed to be asleep, as his single eye was closed and his breaths were deep and even, despite the raspy hitch to them, courtesy of the disease he was still combatting.

Spiderpaw's ears flattened – he didn't want to wake him up, not when the older tom actually looked at peace for once – and prepared to turn away, only to nearly jump out of his pelt as Jaggedclaw stirred.

"Back so soon?" the scarred tom rumbled, single eye opening, before blinking as he realized it was Spiderpaw standing before him, not Reedrush. "Spiderpaw? And here I was thinking you'd forgotten about me."

Spiderpaw winced at that – it _had _been a very long time since they had seen each other, if only because Spiderpaw had been wanting to keep his distance until Jaggedclaw was well again, and he had been busy with all of the Clan's other troubles – and murmured an apology, but Jaggedclaw only flicked his ear, as if amused. "I wasn't thinking much about you either, to be honest. Do you need something?"

The black apprentice shook his head, then sat down, curling his tail around his paws. "No, not really. I just met someone who I thought might interest you, is all."

Jaggedclaw yawned, flicking his tail for Spiderpaw to continue, and the younger tom quickly related everything he knew about Faint. Before he even mentioned Destiny, he had already garnered the scarred tom's attention, if the interest in his single eye was anything to go by, and by the end he could tell Jaggedclaw was practically bursting with curiosity.

"Interesting," was all he said, and his eye slid past Spiderpaw for a moment, towards the den entrance.

Spiderpaw wondered if he should have mentioned it at all; the last thing he wanted was for Jaggedclaw to become depressed again, reflecting on his past instead of thinking about the future. "I just figured that if Myrtle was still alive, you two would sort of be family…and she was curious about her mother, and…."

"You said she wanted to meet me?" Jaggedclaw asked, as if Spiderpaw hadn't spoken, and the apprentice nodded. Jaggedclaw let out a quiet, contemplative breath. "Well. There are a great many things I never thought I'd see, and Destiny's daughter is one of them. Small world, isn't it?" He tilted his head towards the apprentice. "I thought the same thing when I first saw Reedrush. She was the spitting image of Myrtle – I couldn't believe my eyes. Like I was looking at a ghost. And I said to myself, 'You're not falling for that again.' But then I saw she was with kits, and somehow that became, 'Maybe this time, you can do it right.'"

"You did," Spiderpaw said. "It's thanks to you that Blizzardwhisker lived."

Jaggedclaw only shrugged. "His other two siblings weren't so lucky. There was nothing I could do for them. She named one after Myrtle, you know. For me. Might as well have painted a target on her back for the gods."

Spiderpaw wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but he got the gist of it. "You can't blame yourself for them."

The scarred tom snorted softly. "I have a long history of blaming myself for things I can't control. Which reminds me. You don't know most of it, do you? Where I've been, where I came from. You earned that story a long time ago, just like Reedrush did, but I was too scared to tell. I can give you the short version right now, if you'd care to hear."

Curiosity gnawed at Spiderpaw, but he was hesitant. "Are you sure?"

Jaggedclaw fixed him with his single dark eye. "I wouldn't ask if I wasn't."

Spiderpaw dipped his head, and Jaggedclaw rolled onto his stomach, where he was more comfortable, tilting his head to think. "Let's see, the short version. I was born in the Bonedumps, which was the filthiest, harshest cesspool you could imagine. It was a terrible, violent place, and although I lost my family at a young age, it was probably for the best. Spared most of them a lot of pain. But I didn't see it that way, then. I wanted revenge, wanted to hurt the tom who killed them as much as I could. So I went to fight him, and lost, and because I was so worthless, he didn't bother killing me…which proved to me a mistake. I survived by the skin of my teeth, and a cat named Bullet took me in. He raised me, taught me everything I needed to know – gave me quite a few scars along the way – and tried to protect me as best he could. Eventually I went after that tom again, and made him pay." He closed his eye at the memory, shaking his head. "That started another bloody affair, and we had to leave. So we roamed, and we wandered, and I met Myrtle and fell in love and tore her family apart and left the only father I'd ever known behind. And then even that fell apart, as you know.

"After that, I just roamed around, for the most part. Searching for nothing in particular, just _something._" His eye took on an almost glassy look. "I never stayed too long anywhere. Didn't want to overstay my welcome, especially since my presence tended to stir up trouble. That's what happens, I guess, when your first instinct is to unsheathe your claws. And then I met Reedrush, and everything fell right into place.

"She met him, you know, on the journey. Heard the whole story from him, although according to her, Bullet painted me in a positive light, for some reason. Can't say I deserved it. But all this time, I thought he would be angry, thought if we ever crossed paths again he'd let me have an earful for abandoning him, and then failing to keep Myrtle safe….But he wasn't angry. He wasn't angry at all. He'd been looking for _me _for moons, can you believe that?"

Spiderpaw didn't think Jaggedclaw really wanted an answer, so he remained silent, and the tom continued to stare at nothing in particular.

"Reedrush kept saying how old he was. How sad, how tired. He kept everything with him, all his mistakes, all his failures. Carted them around his whole life, and when they finally got too heavy, he just broke down. Nothing to show for his life, besides me and a son who hates him, and this new business with cleaning up the dumps. He's basically all alone. She kept mentioning that, kept bringing it up, and eventually I caught the hint, because I do the same thing…carry all that with me all the time, everything I've ever done wrong sitting on my shoulders like stones, weighing me down. It just seemed so obvious, once she said it, and I wondered how I could have been so blind." He shook his head. "But I decided right then – I told her – I wasn't going to do it anymore, not if I could help it. The past is the past, and while it's worth remembering, we can't change it. I'd like to see Bullet again, if I could, but with my shoulder and his age, it isn't going to happen. But I know he isn't angry with me, and maybe that's enough."

He finally seemed to see Spiderpaw again, and he frowned. "Does that make sense?"

Spiderpaw blinked, then nodded, a smile coming over his face. "Yeah, it does. I'm glad you and Reedrush made up."

Jaggedclaw made another snorting sound, but this one was more embarrassed than anything. "Me too. We shouldn't have been fighting in the first place, but…I'm glad she's back. I didn't think it was possible to miss anyone so much. I love her." The last three words were a gusty exhale, like a weight off of his chest, and he let out a low, rumbling purr that cut off abruptly as he gave Spiderpaw a glance. "Blizzardwhisker doesn't really like me though, does he?"

"I don't think Blizzardwhisker really dislikes anyone," Spiderpaw answered, "and anyone can see how much you care about Reedrush. I don't think he'll resent you, if that's what you mean."

Jaggedclaw gave an absent-minded nod, yawning again, and Spiderpaw could tell he was exhausted from having to wheeze with every breath.

"I should get going," he said, rising to his paws. "I'll tell Faint you're okay with meeting her, next time I see her."

"Thank you," Jaggedclaw rumbled. "For…a lot of things. Not giving up on me when you should have, letting me train you…all that stuff."

Spiderpaw's whiskers twitched. "I should be thanking you for taking the time to listen to me complain about everything."

Jaggedclaw flicked his ear, and Spiderpaw turned away, only to pause and look back at the older tom, whose eye was already closed again.

"Jaggedclaw?" he asked, a note of hesitation in his voice. "Are you…are you happy, now?"

Jaggedclaw's amber eye opened slowly, and he only thought for a moment, before letting out another low purr. "Happier than I ever thought I would be."

Spiderpaw felt a flood of warmth for the older tom, and smiled, before padding back out into the sunlight.

. . .

The next half moon clipped by at a record pace, as if it was nothing. Spiderpaw spent as much time with Sootpaw as he could, gradually becoming adjusted to Rook's strange pattern of speech and Nightingale's paw-flicks, although he doubted he would ever be best friends with either of them. He spent plenty of time with Blackfeather too, out in the forest, wandering aimlessly. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they only enjoyed each others company. One morning, she dragged him out before dawn to show him an exciting discovery: the new first bird of the day having taken the older one's nest. She hoped he would find a mate, and ensure the next generations of birds awake at ungodly hours. Spiderpaw wouldn't admit it, but he was glad of the new bird, if only because it made her eyes sparkle like newly minted coins.

With every day that passed, he became more and more aware that he was going to lose his sister just as he had gotten her back. The next meeting wasn't even taking place in AshClan's camp, so he would be saying goodbye well before the meeting even took place; Sootpaw and the rogues were going to sit in on it, as they might become the ambassadors for the mountains, depending on how things went with Tremor.

The feeling started off as worry, but gradually developed into full-blown panic, as the days and nights swept by. Blackfeather took note, and soothed him as best she could, but even she couldn't entirely extinguish his feelings of loss.

He couldn't help but ask himself why, why Sootpaw was leaving, why AshClan was no longer enough for her, why _he _was no longer enough. Rationally, he knew the answers – she wanted to find out more about where she came from, _who _she came from, and the new family she now had – but those answers didn't make him feel anything but inadequate.

Most of all, he wondered when she would come back.

The day of her departure came all too soon. He was awake nearly at dawn, his stomach rolling with sick anticipation, and try as he might, he could not fall asleep again. He padded outside, thinking he might eat breakfast, but found his churning stomach erased any appetite he might have had. So, instead, he sat down on the edge of camp, and waited for the sun to rise, chasing thoughts around his mind.

He was so engrossed in his worry that he almost didn't notice Sootpaw coming to sit beside him, until she said his name. He nearly leaped out of his pelt, and fixed her with a firm glare. She twitched her ear at him apologetically, her eyes bright with a mixture of excitement and concern.

"What's the matter?" she asked, and he almost rolled his eyes at the question.

"Like you don't already know," he growled, and she twitched her whiskers.

"Okay, I guess I do, but I don't know why your tail's in a knot. You've known it was coming for half a moon now; it's not a surprise. And you know I'll have good company. Rook and Nightingale are excellent fighters – and I'm not too shabby myself, these days. There's nothing to worry about."

"Easy for you to say," he meowed. "You're not the one who has to sit back and watch his sister leave."

Her eyes darkened a touch at that. "You know I'm not leaving _you, _right? I would never do that."

"You might as well be," he blurted, then winced, wishing he could claw the words back down his throat. Sootpaw's ears lowered, and she looked down at her paws.

"I guess it kinda looks that way, doesn't it?" she mewed. "But I'm not leaving you, Spiderpaw, I'm _not. _You'll always be my brother no matter what, and I love you with all my heart. I just…there are some things here that I have to leave behind." She scuffed her white paw against the ground as she spoke, and Spiderpaw was reminded of what their mother had always said, about her having one paw in StarClan.

_But that was a lie. Sootpaw was never in any danger of dying, not as a kit. Ravenwing's kit did die. _

_But what does she feel she needs to leave behind? Is it as a simple as things like that, little things she thought to be true but turned out to be more? Or is it something else? _He frowned to himself, remembering how Rook had responded when Spiderpaw had asked if he and Sootpaw were a couple. _Rook hinted at leaving something behind too…but what? Why wouldn't she tell me?_

His ears lowered. _She's always kept secrets about me, and for good reason…she never did tell me what those dreams she had when she was a kit were about, although I guessed they were about Chillpaw. I wonder—_

The thought ended there, and he suddenly turned his head towards her. _Chillpaw was dead, and he certainly didn't go to StarClan. Wherever he went, Blight would have gone too. Is it possible they…? Is that how she knew about her parentage? Was it _Blight _who told her through her dreams, rather than Sage, as she claimed? Was there more to those dreams than I ever gave her credit for? Is _that _what she's leaving behind?_

Sootpaw noticed his stare, and gave him a hesitant smile. "What is it?"

He tore his eyes away, looking towards the camp entrance instead to distract himself. "Nothing," he lied. "Just thinking, is all."

She had wanted to go to the Pool of Stars, way back when they were kits. She had wanted to speak to StarClan about her mysterious dreams, to seek some sort of explanation, some comfort, and he had stood in her way.

_Whatever they were about, they're what's driving her now, or whatever they left behind is, _he thought, _and something about them, something she can't tell me, is what's keeping her from staying._

"I understand," he said quietly, glancing back at her, "why you have to go. It's okay. I know the journey was tough, and you have some things to work out. It's just…it's weird for me, you know? I mean, when we were kits, I had to practically drag you out into the forest. Now you're all grown up, and you're going out all on your own, leaving me behind for the second time."

She nuzzled his ear with her nose. "Sometimes I wished you had come with me – but you were needed here, weren't you? You helped Leopardpaw find her way, you helped Blackfeather become a warrior, you helped Jaggedclaw find his feet again. You protected the snowberry plants, you befriended the marsh rogues, you brought down Maggot. I was meant to go on that journey, and you were meant to stay here. I don't know if I'm meant to go to the mountains, but I do know this is where you belong. The Clan needs you." She smiled. "You've changed so much, Spiderpaw, and I'm so proud of you."

"You too," was all he could say through his embarrassment, although he was secretly pleased with the praise. It was true; things would have been very different, if he had been the one on the journey, and she was the one to stay home. StarClan had guided them both down their respective paths, and he wouldn't change that for the world.

"You're stronger than I could ever be," he said. "I hope you find whatever you're looking for in the mountains. I hope they're everything you think they will be. I hope you're _happy._"

She grinned. "I already am, sillypaws. Happy to be with you, happy to be finding my way, happy to learn everything I can about every_one _I can. Happy for Silverstar and Jaggedclaw and everyone else. Happy that everything turned out okay for the Clan, in the end. Happy that everything's turned out okay for _you. _And what about you? Are you happy?"

Spiderpaw blinked, thinking of Blackfeather curled around him, of Leopardpaw and Fireblaze lying together, pelts entwined, of Eaglestrike smiling as Ravenwing brushed against his fur, of Blizzardwhisker standing his warrior vigil, of a sleepy Jaggedclaw waiting for Reedrush to return.

"Yeah," he said, with a small smile. "Happier than I ever thought I would be."

She touched his nose with her own, and then rose to her paws. "I'm going to see Silverstar's kits, if that's alright with you. And then I'll come back, and we can sit together until it's time for me to leave."

"Alright," he said, but his eyes narrowed; there was something dark flitting just behind her eyes, something she wasn't telling him. Whatever her dreams were about, Silverstar's kits were somehow related.

"Are you ever going to tell me the truth?" he asked, his voice neutral, not inflammatory or demanding as it had been when they were kits. Her smile faded, and she was solemn for a moment, before the light found its way back into her eyes again.

"Someday," she said, "when I figure out exactly what that is."

That was all he could hope for, and he said nothing as she trotted towards the leaders den. He was surprised to find he didn't feel impatient or irritated by Sootpaw's secrets. Rather, he believed what she had said. He would find out the truth some day, even if that day was a long time coming.

_I can wait. _

When it finally came time for her to go, when Sootpaw stood with Rook and Nightingale and Silverstar and Eaglestrike and Reedrush and Petalcloud – the last two being the ambassadors Silverstar and Eaglestrike have chosen to represent AshClan – Spiderpaw found there was not an ounce of worry or sadness in his heart. Whatever had been in Sootpaw's dreams, whatever had hounded her, whatever made her wish to leave, would not cast a shadow over her. There was no telling what she would find in the mountains, but it didn't matter; all that mattered was that she chose to go, chose a life for herself. And he made his own choice, to stay with the Clan and the cats he loved, to be the very best warrior he could be.

He touched her nose with his own, whispered good luck, and then stepped back, leaning against Blackfeather as he watched the little troupe set out together for their meeting. Sootpaw gave him once last look over her shoulder, one last smile, and then she was gone.

And that was okay.

**AN: Crazy-long wait on this one, so sorry! Lots of different things conspiring against me…laziness being one of the top contenders. The epilogue won't take very long at all, should be out in a few days. I'll try to update the blog as quickly as possible too. Thanks for hanging on, ducklings. (:**

**Prolly said this before, but I like –whisker for cool, emotionally sensitive cats who might also have some experience tracking, all of which Blizzy demonstrates.**


	75. E p i l o g u e

**AN: Set 3 moons after the last chapter.**

**E**_**pilogue**_

Ivy was lying half on top of him, gnawing at his ear incessantly, but he was barely paying her any mind at all. His thoughts were elsewhere, as they almost always were these days, lost in a place of strange darkness and dashing rain, a place where the shadows of cats hovered before his eyes, always just far enough away that he could not make out anything real about them, any details that might hint towards who they were supposed to be.

Or so it had always been, before the previous night. The night before, he had finally caught a glimpse of them, the two illusive shadows that had haunted his dreams for as long as he could remember, one of tawny fur and dignified stature, one of patched gray and gleaming yellow eyes. He did not know who the golden tom was, but he had a good idea of who _she _might be, and today he would see whether or not his idea was true.

"Aren't you excited?" Ivy complaining in his ear. "Some very important cats are coming to visit, you know, and you're still wearing your ol' humdrum expression. Aren't you ever stoked about _anything?_"

"I know who is coming," he murmured, eyes still fixated on the camp's entrance. "And I am excited."

"This will be the first time you really get to _see _them," Ivy meowed. "Before you were too young, and then last moon you were sick with that dumb cold – you never did thank me for sneaking in to visit you, you know – and Silverstar wouldn't them in to see you. But now you finally get to, and you're just _laying around like a log_." She emphasized the last phrase by jabbing her paw into his white flank with every word, and he finally allowed himself to shoot her an annoyed glance.

"I _did _say thank-you, actually. Three times, in fact," he said, before wiggling out of the pale tabby's grasp. "And you are excited enough for the both of us, anyway."

"I am," she admitted, and grinned at him, green eyes all aglow. "I guess I'll have to smile enough for the both of us, too. And talk. You _are _going to say hello to them, right?"

His ears lowered, and he felt a strange quiver of nervous anticipation run through him. "I might."

"You will," she said firmly, "even if I have to make you. You can manage a 'hello,' at the very least. And then you can do that little awkward head-bob that the grown-ups always think is so cute."

His face flushed at that, and her grin widened as she prodded his nose. "You know I'm only kidding. You'll do fine, no reason to be nervous at all. They'll love you."

_I do not want them to love me. I only want to know if…if one of them is _her.

Ivy's head whipped around suddenly as strange voices reached their ears, and his heart rose in his chest as his eyes locked onto the camp entrance once more. One by one, cats appeared. They were familiar faces at first, as Leopardstep and Petalcloud were leading the way – Leopardstep had only recently taken Reedrush's old spot as ambassador – but the cats that came afterwards were all new to him. He had heard of them, though, remembered their names murmured by his mother or father as they told him and his sisters stories to lure them to sleep. There was Brackenstorm, the golden PeakClan tom who had left his Clan not once, but twice: first to find the cure for the chilling disease, and then again to bring Rabbitleap and her kits home. The other was Hawktalon, a rather plain-looking brown tom who had nonetheless proven himself a loyal and capable warrior. Just behind the two PeakClan ambassadors was Sage, his thick white fur somehow groomed to perfection despite the trek back from the city, followed by a dark, bushy-furred rogue he knew to be Rook. Finally, just beyond him was just the slimmest hint of a gray-patched pelt—

But he did not get to see much more than that, as the camp suddenly became filled with cats moving forward to greet the newcomers. He couldn't help but let out the quietest huff of irritation as the near-silence of waiting gave way to excited news-sharing. His ears lowered with disappointment – it was very likely he wouldn't get to see any of the ambassadors at all now, since they were being swarmed – and he rested his muzzle on his white paws once more.

Ivy sensed his discontent, and nuzzled his ear with her nose. "Come on, are you really going to give up, just like that?" she asked. "You can't just sit here. Let's go and meet them!"

"I do not want to," he mumbled into his paws, and Ivy batted at his whiskers.

"Liar liar, tail on fire," she chided, springing to her paws. "Come on, let's—"

She broke off as one voice swelled over the rest, as a small black warrior darted into the crowd, green eyes gleaming with excitement.

"Sootpaw!" the black tom yowled yowled. The tide parted, if only for a second, and the tom-kit's heart rose as he caught sight of a gray head turning towards the sound of her name. Cats were in his way again before he could see her face or get a good look at her eyes, but he found himself on his paws, stiff as a board with some strange mixture of curiosity and trepidation.

"Spiderpaw," he heard the gray she-cat purr back. "You've filled out a bit. Not going soft, are you?"

"I'm not Spiderpaw anymore," the black tom replied, puffing out his stomach with pride. "It's Spider_strike_ now."

"Good for you!" his sister purred. "But, for your information, I'm not Sootpaw anymore either. Tremor named me Sootsky just a few days ago."

The Clan babbled and gushed over the mountain she-cat's new name, making the tom-kit twitch his nose with frustration. He didn't care about her name; he only wanted to see her _face._

Whatever bravado Ivy had held had faded; apparently the thought of investigating cats older than apprentices was a bit too much for her, and she sat down again, curling her pale tail around her paws. He did the same, ears pricked, hoping and praying for the crowd to split just once more, so he could find his answers.

"So, what's new with the city cats?" another warrior – Darkstorm, he thought, but wasn't entirely certain; was it bad to be more familiar with the legends of cats living outside your Clan than those living inside? – asked. "Any news on that Colony by the lake?"

"The city's just fine," Petalcloud answered. "They're certainly grateful to have less cats in their borders, although we still have a lot of work to do. Setting up the Stone Colony in PeakClan's old territory has definitely helped, even though they're still just now settling in."

"They're thinking of calling the Colony by the lake the Reed Colony, for Reedrush," Brackenstorm said. "It'll be a small one, though, probably just a few families. The pine forest isn't too fertile."

"The Mud Colony didn't have any complaints either, although you all probably know that already, since Baron says he visits you now and then," Sage went on. "There's also been talk about setting up a Sand Colony where ShellClan's territory used to be. We don't use it very much, since we mostly stay in the forest, but they're more than happy to take it."

"And PeakClan?"

"We're doing fine, thank you," Hawktalon replied. "Like we said before, the first moon was hard – we had a lot of close calls – but we're plenty familiar with the mountains now, mostly thanks to Northstar. Moving was the right decision – I believe that with my whole heart."

They went on talking for some time, and the tom-kit was just about to lose interest when Sootsky suddenly burst into his field of vision again, heading for the fresh-kill pile with Sage and Rook at her side. The tom-kit rose to his paws just as she happened to look in his direction. Their eyes met, yellow and blue, and without an ounce of uncertainty, he knew that it had indeed been her who had been haunting his dreams for as long as he could remember.

Sootsky froze, and it was a long moment before she looked back to her two male companions. Sootsky and Rook shared a long look, before the dark tom nodded. She murmured something in Sage's ear, and he dipped his head as well. Then, much to both kits' surprise, the gray mountain cat padded towards them.

"Hello, Icekit," she meowed, her voice gentler than it had been with Spiderstrike and the other warriors. "Hello, Ivy."

Ivy grinned up at the large she-cat. "Hello, Sootp-I mean, Sootsky. You saw me last time, do you remember? Of course, I was a runt then. I'm a lot bigger now!"

Sootsky's whiskers twitched with amusement. "I remember. I saw your brothers, too. Where are they?"

Ivy dipped her head in the direction of the new nursery, where the gleam of curious eyes could be seen. "They were too scared to come out and watch. They're not brave like me and Icekit. Tucker doesn't even want to be a warrior, can you believe that? He wants to be a boring old city cat."

"The city's definitely not boring," Sootsky said, eyes twinkling. "There's plenty of excitement to be had, if you know where to look. The same could be said of any place, I think. You and Notch want to be warriors, though, I take it?"

Ivy gave an enthusiastic bob of her head. "Definitely. We want to get our Clan names right now, but Silverstar says we have to wait until six moons, just in case we change our minds. I hope my mentor will help me be the fiercest warrior in the Clan. Spiderstrike or Stormshadow would be good. Maybe Jaggedclaw, even though we can't spar with him directly."

Sootsky nodded, before looking to Icekit. "What about you? Are you excited for battle training?"

Icekit opened his mouth to answer, but no words came out. He could only stare up at her with befuddlement, wondering what it was about her that made his pelt prickle uncomfortably.

Ivy answered for him. "Icekit doesn't like fighting – not even in play. Palekit makes fun of him sometimes because he just sits there and watches all the time, like a wimp." She gave Icekit a grin to show she was only kidding, but he wasn't paying her much attention.

Sootsky nodded thoughtfully. "I see. Palekit's a pawful, from what I've heard…much more fiery than her mother. If she can channel that energy properly, she'll make a fine warrior…but is that true, Icekit? You don't like fighting?"

His white ears lowered, and he wondered if she would poke fun at him as the others sometimes did.

"I do not like hurting anyone," was all he said, ears burning with embarrassment. It was true; he did not even like hurting other cats' _feelings. _Just thinking about when he had said one of Reedrush's new kits looked like a trout filled him with shame. He had meant it kindly – the kit's soft silver fur had reminded him of a fish's scales with its shimmering – but the queen had not taken it that way, and Silverstar had made him apologize to smooth things over.

"Is that so." Sootsky's eyes softened for a moment, before flicking to Ivy. "Do you mind giving us a minute, Ivy? You can go talk to Sage and Rook, if you like. I'm sure you have plenty of questions about the mountains, right?"

Ivy's eyes lit up, and she nodded. "Bye, Icekit!" she chirped, giving him a last nuzzle before charging towards the white healer. Icekit watched her go, feeling a touch distressed at being left with Sootsky, but not wanting to call her back.

"What do you plan to do, then, when you become an apprentice?" Sootsky asked him, sitting down and curling her tail around her paws. He found himself unable to hold her golden gaze; his eyes dropped down to his paws, one of which he scuffed in the dirt.

"I was thinking about becoming a medicine cat," he mewed, speaking the idea out loud for the first time. He hadn't told a soul about it yet, not even his mother, but for some reason he had a feeling Sootsky wouldn't go spilling his secrets to other cats. "Shimmerfrost cured me of my cold, and I have seen how she helps take care of the rest of the Clan…the only time she hurts them is when she's trying to make them better, like pulling a thorn out of their paws or putting cobwebs on their wounds. They respect her, even though she does not fight. And…." He hesitated for a heartbeat, before plunging on, "I have dreams sometimes. Special ones, of places and cats I have never seen before. Stars dancing in the sky, and a rain-filled forest, and…you." He looked up at her quickly, seeing surprise and something strange – grief? – dance over her face in rapid succession.

"Me," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

He nodded. "Just a shadow of you, too far away for me to get a good look…but I know it's you, somehow. And there's a golden cat too, a big one….I do not know what they mean, but it has to be something important, right?"

This time, it was Sootsky who looked away from him, towards the ground. It seemed as though she was debating with herself about something, for her eyes were dark and troubled, and a frown flickered on her muzzle. Then, she sighed quietly, looking up at him again with a small smile. Very gently, she reached out to him with one of her paws; he was surprised to see it was the same white as his own.

"When I was very little, my mother liked to say I had one paw in StarClan," Sootsky meowed. "She said it because she thought she had nearly lost me when she was kitting. That turned out not to be true, but the saying itself still was, even if she never knew it. I used to have dreams too, Icekit, very strange ones. Sometimes they were scary, and sometimes they were confusing, but they were always important. I went on a journey because of them. I lost several friends along the way. One of them…was very close to my heart. He was in trouble, and in order to save him, I had to give up my dreams. I did so without a second thought, and although I didn't like them at the time, I do miss them now. But when I lost them, I was told that part of me would find its way to someone else – and I believe that someone is you. Sometimes you have to let go of things, so someone else can find them, even if it hurts."

He stiffened at that – what she said did not fit in with the stories of the journey that he had always heard – but he found that he did not doubt her, even for a second. "You were never a medicine cat, though."

She shook her head. "That was never my path. But I am something similar, now. The reason Tremor named me Sootsky is because the sky was very important to the cats that came before the Clans in the mountains – the Walkers. They believed you could read the sky, could see stories of the past in the clouds and on the breeze. Northstar showed us how to get to one of the highest peaks in the mountains, where the sages of old used to sit and watch the sky. They would hear the wind and feel the snow underneath their paws year-round, and their ancestors would speak to them…I've had it happen a few times, and it was magical." Starlight filled her eyes as she reflected on her memories. "In the mountains, I've taken up the position of a storyteller, of sorts. I started out collecting the story of my family, where I came from, but I've learned so much more since then. I find our old stories and share them with the new generation, so they never disappear again. It's what I was born to do, and the first story I ever collected came from the dreams I used to have. I'm sure they'll help you find your path, too.

"But, Icekit…if you do ever find that being a medicine cat is not the right path for you, don't be afraid to say so. I had a friend who found that being the medicine apprentice chafed her, made her feel trapped, but she was too afraid to say anything. The Clan would have understood, but she did not see that, and she suffered because of it. Don't let that happen to you, okay? Your parents love you very much – anyone can see that – and they would never want you to be unhappy, even if it was for the good of the Clan. Do you understand?" Her yellow eyes were the color of warm honey as she blinked down at him, and he found himself smiling.

"I do," he said solemnly, and she smiled back.

"You should tell Shimmerfrost you're interested," she suggested. "You could shadow her for a few days. Blackfeather did that, when she was a kit. It might help you make sure that's what you really want to do."

He nodded again. "I will," he promised, summoning up what little courage he had. "I can mention it to Mother tonight, and talk with Shimmerfrost tomorrow."

Sootsky smiled down at him, but it was as though she was looking at him without truly seeing him at all; her thoughts were clearly elsewhere, and he felt a prickle of curiosity. "Is something wrong?"

She shook herself. "No, no. It's just…being in camp again brings back memories. I haven't been here for an entire moon. And I haven't seen _you _since you were just a tiny lump of fur, barely my two paws put together." She demonstrated for him, and he marveled at how he could have ever been so tiny. Then, a more serious expression came over her face.

"Icekit…do you remember anything else about your dreams? Anything about that forest you talked about, with the rain? Do you know what it might mean, if anything?"

He wrinkled his nose, trying to think. "It is not just a forest. There's a lake, too. You can smell the reeds and the mud. When I first started dreaming about it, there were always clouds covering the sky…but they're gone now. I like the stars twinkling down on me more. Sometimes I can feel the rain, sometimes I cannot…but no. I do not really know what it means. It has always been there, that's all I know." He peered up at her, wondering if he had given the right answer. "Am I supposed to?"

That touch of grief passed over her face again, but it was followed by warmth, and a quiet purr. To his surprise, she ducked her head, rasping her tongue between his ears and sending strange prickles running through his fur. They faded as quickly as they had come, leaving him bemused.

"No," she answered. "I think the fact that you don't means everything is as it should be." She rose to her paws, still looking down on him with some peculiar warmth in her eyes that he didn't entirely understand. "Best of luck with Shimmerfrost. She has a sharp tongue, and she can be cold sometimes, but she's loyal to the Clan and will teach you everything she knows."

He rose to his paws as well – it seemed like the right thing to do – and smiled up at her. "Thank you. And good luck with your storytelling, too." He hesitated, before asking, "You will be coming back in a moon, won't you?"

She nodded. "You can tell me all about your shadowing then – and if your dreams have changed." She ducked her head again, but did not lick him this time, instead murmuring into his ear, "Goodbye, Chillpaw." Her voice had a strange finality to it, an almost mournful tone, and although he did not know it then, it would be the last time she addressed him as such. By the time she pulled back and turned away, walking towards the almost-black rogue who stared at her with such fondness, he had almost thought he imagined it.

Then, something shifted in the back of his mind, something that remained dormant save for the few hours he slept soundly enough to dream. Words bubbled on his tongue, and he released them with a bittersweet tone that was not quite his own, as Sootsky ducked just slightly to let Rook lick her ear.

"Goodbye, Sootpaw."

. . .

"So?" Rook finally asked, as the two of them settled down for the night in the warriors den. They would set off for the mountains in the morning, but Sootsky always enjoyed pretending that this time she was home to stay, that she could just melt into Clan life as though nothing had happened. "Was it like you thought it would be? Was he?"

"No," she said softly, pressing into his thick, warm fur. "He wasn't, not really. I can see the Chillpaw in him but…it's like looking at a reflection in rippling water. I think he got more than just the dreams from me. There's something warmer about him…something nice." She smiled to herself, thinking of the way his blue eyes had lit up when he had talked about Shimmerfrost and her healing abilities. There was no trace of ice in those eyes, no clinical coldness or detachment. "He's a little more timid than I would have expected, a little more hesitant…but I was that way too, when I was a kit. He'll come into himself, I think."

"Are you going to tell him?" Rook murmured in her ear, his scent washing over her in a warm wave.

She hesitated for only a brief moment; being a medicine cat was not what she had envisioned for Icekit when she had made the choice to let him go. She ahd thought he would have a family of his own, train with his Clanmates, defend their borders and hunt the forest's prey and watch his own kits grow up. A tiny part of her still wanted that for him.

_But the whole Clan will be his kits, _she thought, _and if this is what would truly make him happy, who am I to intervene?_

"No," she mewed, closing her eyes and leaning into Rook's fur. "I won't breathe a word of any of it to him, not if I can help it. I've made my peace with Chillpaw, and if he was here now, I think he would be happy with how things turned out. I'll encourage Icekit, no matter what choices he makes. Chillpaw earned that much."

_Sometimes you have to let go of things, so someone else can find them…or so they can find themselves. Even if it hurts._

But it didn't hurt, not really. The grief she felt for Chillpaw was still always there, but most days it was in the back of her mind, not quite ignorable, but tolerable. It had all come rushing back when she had seen Icekit, when her eyes had flicked over his crisp fur and sky-blue eyes, but just talking to him had made it clear that he and Chillpaw were not the same cat, not quite. Chillpaw's speech patterns were there, his careful thought and weighing of every option before speaking or making decisions, but there was a warmth in the little kit that had not been present in Chillpaw until the very end, an earnest, hopeful flame that flickered in his eyes even when he spoke of his insecurities. Chillpaw was gone, and Icekit could never take his place, but he didn't need to. He would carve out his own life, serve the Clan dutifully in his own way, and that was okay.

"Finally believe me about happy endings?" Rook asked. Sootsky opened her eyes to blink up at him, before turning her head, looking towards Sage, who slept peacefully in his own nest, a smile on his face, before her eyes found Spiderstrike. He and Blackfeather were nearly indistinguishable from one another, they were so tightly entwined, and she purred quietly to herself, happy that her hotheaded brother had found his own peace. She thought of Reedrush and Silverstar, both curled up around their litters of kits, and of the kits' proud papas. She thought of the answers she had found in the mountains, the stories she had gathered, the name she had earned. She thought of Icekit training beside his cousin – the cat who had once been his littermate, although he would never know that –, learning the ways of a medicine cat and finding his own voice along the way. Her thoughts ranged beyond their Clan, to the mountains, where PeakClan grew stronger every day, and to the city, which was gradually becoming something akin to peaceful as its burden was lifted by the Colonies. She thought of them too, all those rogues dedicated to building better lives for themselves, and how, thus far, they had succeeded.

Most of all, she thought of Rook. He had been beside her every step of the way just as he had promised, even going so far as to come with her to every ambassador meeting, although he was not one himself and never spoke. He had always been next to her, ready to catch her if she fell – and she had, a few times. He had done all of that and more, and for that, she would always be grateful.

"I do," she said, reaching up to lick his muzzle, before snuggling into his thick fur. He curled around her, and his rumbling purr remained even as she slipped into sleep, mixing with the sound of rain in some far-off, imaginary forest touched by shadows and just the slightest chill.

**AN: Spidey's named partially for his dad, but mostly because I like –strike for cats that are extremely fast, fierce, talented fighters (and prolly quick-thinking, too) which he definitely is. –step is a suffix that works with the prefix, namely describing a cat's behavior in accordance with it (it basically only works if the prefix is an animal). Leopardstep would thus be a cat who is very light on her paws, very sneaky and stealthy, and gifted at both hunting and fighting. If anyone fits that, it's her. –storm is for cats that are good fighters & fiercely loyal.**

**I'm sure Spider&Black had a mountain of babies somewhere down the road, but since Spidey's barely a warrior in this, he's a tad bit young to be a responsible daddy. ;)**

**But, with that, the Chilled circle is closed! Usually I'd do a final AN that was a separate chapter, but last time I was told that was against the rules, so I'll just do it here, to talk about some last thoughts and such.**

**Chilled was an exhausting project at times (at over 500k, I think that's understandable xD) and it wore on a **_**lot **_**longer than I ever thought it would (I think starting out I was hoping to barely beat Shattered's record, but I did a lot more than that v_v). Still, it was a worthwhile one, and did allow me a few spots for growth, namely in defying things that I usually tend to do.**

**One would be the huge ending battle. There is an ending battle, obviously, with the death of Maggot and all, but it was not nearly as big as the battles usually are. Mostly, Chilled's conflicts were focused around much smaller battles, skirmishes that occurred over and over, both with PeakClan and with the various rogues encountered along the way. I think this is more true to life and the books; things were very rarely settled with just one battle in the first series, and the same can be said here. AshClan has to fight off their enemies again and again and again, and although they did triumph in the end, there were plenty of costs to pay along the way.**

**Costs were something else I tried to handle differently. There was no last-minute heart-wrenching death (although Swanpaw came tantalizingly close). The closest thing we had to that was Chillpaw, but he died like two-thirds of the way in, even if his ultimate fate was left hanging for the rest of the story. Swanpaw's near-death experience pretty neatly mirrored the usual surrounded-by-friends-and-family-while-gasping-the ir-last thing that usually happens, but she managed to pull through in the end.**

**The biggest thing, however, is the idea of first love. I am a **_**hardcore **_**first-love shipper. It really doesn't matter the medium. Once I get invested in a ship, I stick to it like glue, and even if a secondary ship comes up, very very very rarely will I ever become interested. This tends to reflect a lot in my writing, at least for main characters. Forest was the first cat Silverstar was ever interested in. Foxfire was Tigerstripe's, Tigerstar mentions being loyal to Goldenflower in JtR, and Snowhawk's first love was Frostflight, even if they weren't together in life. I'm especially hardcore about it in Warriors because of StarClan. The cats **_**know **_**there is an afterlife and they **_**know **_**they'll see their loved ones again, so there's no reason for them to be unfaithful or move on when their mate is creeping on them from the sky. One big goal of Chilled was to **_**subvert **_**my feelings about this sort of thing entirely. Chillpaw is the obvious example of this. Without a doubt, he was Sootpaw's first real attraction, and first love. Her love helped him become a better person and all that grand jazz – and eventually led to his death. **_**And he stayed dead. **_**That's, like, earthshaking compared to my usual method of letting them meet up in the afterlife. There **_**is **_**no afterlife for him, because of the Pool. When Chilly died, he stayed gone, much to Sootpaw's sorrow. I pretty much knew that was going to happen from the moment the Pool was introduced. I was determined in my mission to kill him (and break your hearts doing it). What I did not anticipate was how **_**hard **_**it would be. My first-love senses were in high gear, and my heart (I know you guys don't believe I have one, but it's there, even if it's a bit blackened by now xD) was like "nonono we can revive him right?" and technically, I could have. There was some amount of wiggle-room. I coulda hand-waved the whole thing and had Icekit be Chillpaw and sat back and watch the rejoicing.**

**But I didn't, even though it was **_**reaaaally **_**tempting. I stuck it out and poor Chilly stayed dead and Soot moved on. Because that's the way things happen sometimes. First love was not the end-all be-all for Soot, because it isn't for most people/characters, as easy as that would make things.**

**There are a lot of Chill/Soot shippers in my reviewers ranks, of course. Many of you much prefer it to Soot/Rook or any other ship – and that's exactly my point. That attachment to a first love is a really powerful thing, no matter how good a ship might be (or might not be, if you don't like Rook xD), and dismantling it upset some of you. And that's okay, because if that happened, it means I'm doing my job correctly. ;)**

**Blue/Spider is another subversion, albeit a really light one. Spider and Blue definitely had chemistry/both liked each other, but Spider moved on once she left. Blue didn't, and that holding on to an impossible dream is part of what made her such easy prey for Carmelo in the first place. Holding onto her attraction to Spider, something that could never actually be, was sort of her downfall. But her redeemer, too, since in the end she did help Soot and the others rescue him from his prison. Love's funny like that.**

**I could go on, but I won't, mostly because it's really late at night and I'm probably just rambling at this point. I don't really have much else, besides future plans. I know I told you guys to keep an eye on the blog, but of course not all of you do, so for those not in the loop, here's what's ahead:**

**I have no big Warriors story planned for the future. I have a skeleton of a plot for one, but I'm not going to rush into it, and I want to work on original stories more anyway. I will still be on FFN, since I have my one-shots and some other projects to work on, but a big Warriors story is not in the works. I'll let you guys know as soon as that changes, but be aware that it probably won't, at least for a few months.**

**What I'll be doing will mostly be on FictionPress. I have Dragon's Bargain to edit/finish (I've mentioned that in a few ANs, I think), and then I also have another story planned, Vulpine. It's about some foxes, and the setting is kinda Warriors-esque, although their customs and everything are pretty different. It's hard to sum up neatly; just check the blog, a better summary of things is on there. I'll be posting on there when I do start Vulpine, which might be in a few weeks or a bit longer. I might be editing DB and writing Vulpine at the same time – I'm not really sure yet. Either way, keep an eye on my FictionPress account! My username there is Prin Pardus, and since FP is FFN's sister site, they are basically identical. (/~prinpardus) will let you find me there just like it does on here.**

**That's just about all, I think…besides a big THANK YOU to all of my reviewers (and an even bigger one to those who have been here since the very beginning). It's been a crazy, exhausting, **_**long **_**ride, but you guys stuck it out, and I'm super-grateful for that. Don't forget about me, just because Chilled's over. I'm always open to PMs, on this account or my FP one, and of course I read every review I get (usually more than once, haha). Thanks for chilling (ha) with me, ducklings. Love ya.**

**Until next time. :)**


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